PAULSMECKER,F.B.I.agent,isleadby theBostonChiefof
Policethroughajungleof ravenousreporters,policelines
and uniformedofficers.Heisimpeccablydressedinadeep
red suit.Heis smiling,confidentashewalks.Heisa
verygood-looking,slenderman.
He looksintently,foramoment,atfouruniformedofficers.
Theyapproachtwodeadbodies,layingnextto adentedgreen
dumpsterwithhalfthepaintjob scrapedoff.
One man,IVANCHECKOV,laysonhisstomach,closertothe
dumpsterthantheother.Theass ofhis pantshasbeenburnt
out anda largecottonbandageisinitsplace.
The other,VLADDY,hasabloodsoakedbandagearoundhis
headand ison hisstomachaswell.Thereare hundredsof
piecesof porcelainofvarioussizeseverywhere.Threeplain-
clothedhomicidedetectives,DUFFY,DOLLYandGREENLYhover
closeto thebodies.DollyandDuffylistentoGREENLY,an
obviousrookie,givehisover-confidenttheoryofwhattook
place.
The chiefisaboutto interruptthem,butSmeckerholdshim
backwith asmile.Thetwo waitandwatchin aposition,
wherethe unsuspectingdetectiveshavetheirbackstothem.
GREENLY
(ThickBostonAccent)
… sotheseguys arejustkickin’ the shitoutof eachother.This guy (pointstoVladdy)picksupan old kitchensinkthatsomeonethrew out andcrushesthisguy(Checkov) withit. Allright,soit makesa big bangandalertstheirfriend, who’sstandin’lookoutaroundthe corner.Sohe comesoverandgets intoit withthisguy,(Vladdy). He’sangryat him,right?
(MORE)
7/27/98- YellowRevision
16 CONTINUED:
GREENLY(CONT’D)
Theyget intoanaltercationinwhich the lookoutguycrushesthisguy by jumpinon him.Andlookat thedamage here(Vladdy).Imean thisguy’s fuckin’hamburgerman.Hisspineis crushed.He’salltwistedandshit. Thatguy hadto beonebig mother fucker.Huge,3-400pounds,fuckin huge.
Smeckerlistens.TheChiefisembarrassed.
GREELY(CONT’D)
Or, okay.Checkthisout.Saythese two don’tevenknowthehugeguy. They’rejuststaggerin’homefroma bar thismorning,stillallfucked up fromSt.Patty’slastnight.So theyfigurethey’lltakea shortcut downthe alleyandthisbig mother fucker,he’sjustwaitin’.Andwhat couldbe moreperfectforstrongarm robbery?Twodrunkguysall bandaged up. They’realreadyinjuredfor Christsakes.Hetakesa bluntobject and whackstheguywiththe bandage on hishead,right?Causehe’ssmart. He knowstheguywith thebandageon his ass,heain’tgoingnowhere. Matterof fact,thisguy’sprobably helpinghisfriendwiththe rectal problemalong.They’relimpingaround likea coupleofdecrepitoldbroads. So oncethisguy’soutof thepicture
(denotesVladdy)thispoorasshole, he triestorun.But lookhowfar he getsforethehuge bastardcatches up withhim.Onlya fewyards.And whatdoes hedo? Hegetscreative. He picksupa sinkand crushesthe poor mother-fucker.Then,heain’t done yet.Hecomesoverhere,jumps on thisguy’sbackand crusheshim on death(Vladdy).Hestealstheir shit andbeatsit!Thanksforcomin’ out! (Beat)
And lookatthis print…
Greenlypointsouta largefootprinton Vladdy’sback.
Some detectivesnodinagreement.Smeckerchucklesashe
shakeshis head.
7/27/98- YellowRevision
16 CONTINUED(3)
GREENLY(CONT’D)
That’sonebig fuckin’shoe!...and thinkaboutit. Ofallthe waysto killa guy,crushin’himto death. That’sveryparticular.Youdon’t get manyofthose.I dunno.Ifeel somethingbighere.I wouldn’tbe surprisedifwe seemoreof these turningup.
SMECKER
(Steppingintothe open)
Brilliant.Sonowwe gota Hugeguy theoryandSerialcrushertheory. Top fuckingnotch.
(To Greenly)
What’syourname?
GREENLY
you?
SmeckersauntersuptoGreelyand pullshisI.D.outof the
breastpocketofhis sportcoatandletsit hang.Thelarge,
lightblueletters,F.B.I.canbe easilyseen.
SMECKER
That’swhothe fuckI am.
All thedetectivesseemdisgruntledandlooktotheChief
for anexplanation.
CHIEF
Listen,I gottagoby thenumberson thisone. I.D.justcamebackon theseguys.They’vegotconnections to theRussianmob.Thatmakesit a federalmatterandAgentSmecker, here,is headinguptheinvestigation withour fullcooperation.
SMECKER
(TransfixedonGreely)
Why don’tyougetme acup ofcoffee.
GREENY
Whatthe fuck?
SMECKER
Cafélatte.
16 CONTINUED: (4) 7/27/98- YellowRevision
GREENLY
Who the…
SMECKER
Twistof lemon!
GREENLY
(To Chief)
Chief,whatthe fuckisthis?
SMECKER
Sweet-n-low!
GreenlylookshelplesslytotheChief,whosimplynods.He
stormsoffthe scene,upset.Smeckerturnshisbackon
everyoneandputsearphonesin.Hereachesdownand hits
play.The choirsong“Agnusdei”overtakes.Hebeginsto
investigate.Hekneelsatthebodiesfora momentthenstares
at theoppositebrickwall.Hepicksup apieceof porcelain
and scrapesitwithhisthumb.
He quicklycockshisheadtowardtheskyand beginstochuckle
as hesaysJesusChrist,underhisbreath.He brushessome
paraffinoneachof thedeadmen’shands.Duffyand Dolly
watchdefiantly.Theystarttosmileat oneanotherasthey
effeminatebuynotoverlyfey.
SMECKER(CONT’D)
(Loudly)
Mitchell,Langley!
Two uniformedofficersapproach.
MITCHELL
Yes sir.
SMECKER
Findthe managerofthisbuilding. See ifhe hashadany complaintsof watercomingdownin anyapartments, startingjustthismorning.Ifhe’s not there,knockoneverydoor startingfromthethirdfloorup. Langley,youtakethisbuilding, samething.
MitchellandLangleyexit.
SMECKER(CONT’D)
Chaffey,Newman.
Two moreuniformsapproach.
16 CONTINUED:(5) 7/27/98- YellowRevision
CHAFFEY
Yes sir.
SMECKER
(To Chaffey)
Lookin thetrasharoundtheirhands. See ifyoucan findmetwo bullet casings.45’s,ifmy eyeservesme right.Don’tdisturbthem.Mark themas theylay.Newman,root throughthisshit.(pointstothe mountainofgarbage)Ifthiswas a sinkfind mesomemetalparts.Gimme a faucetora draincoveror something.
The twobegintheirtasks.Chaffeyfindsacasingnear
Checkov’shand,hiddenundertheedgeofthe pile.
CHAFFEY
Got it.It’sa 45.
The homicidedetectivesaresurprisedasChaffeylooksfor
the secondshell.Smeckerlightsupasmoke.
SMECKER
Chief,couldyouget ballisticsdown hereand tellthemtheyhaveto dig a 45slug outofa brickwall.
He pointstoa bulletholeinthe opposingandtatteredwall.
SMECKER(CONT’D)
… andlocateanotherthat’sbeen firedthrougha dumpster.
He pointstoanotherbulletholeatthe dumpster’sbase.
CHIEF
I gotthe bestballisticsguyinthe world.He’smobile.Gotall his stuffrightin thevan.Can have him downherein 10minutes.
DOLLY
How didyouknow that?
SMECKER
Paraffincameup positive.Andbullet holesare usuallyabigclue.
CHAFFEY
I can’tfindthe secondone,sir.
16 CONTINUED: (6) 7/13/1998–PinkRevision
SMECKER
Lookunderthe body.
CHAFFEY(OBEYS)
Got it.
Smeckerturnstodetectiveswithasmirk.
SMECKER
You guy’sreadyforthis?
Theyboth nod.
SMECKER(CONT’D)
Thiswas noganglandassassination. Thoughcreative,itwasway too sloppy.Somethingwentwronghere. Thishas personalwrittenallover it. Now,thesemenwerecrushedand the firstnaturalreactionthebody has tosuchtraumais totenseup. So nowthetwo shotsfiredherewere reflexrounds.Theseguysweren’t shootingatanything,buttheywere justaboutto.
Mitchellreturns.
MITCHELL
AgentSmecker,
(pointingtoMacManus building)
Thisis allillegallofthousingso there’snomanageron thepremises but Ifounda ladyon thefourth floorsaidshe’shad waterdripping downon herwholeplace.Started justthis morning.
SMECKER
Fourthfloorhuh?Thenwe’reheading to thefifth.Let’sgoup andsee justhow rightIam.