The office of the worst boss you’ve ever had.Doris
lunges at him but is restrained by her shackles.
BLACK FALCON
Doris! Did someone get you a water?
DORIS
You’ll never get away with this.
BLACK FALCON
“You’ll never get away with this!” What a cliché! You don’t even know what it is I’m trying to get away with. Maybe you should listen more.
DORIS
I’m all ears.
BLACK FALCON
Truly? Because listening and hearing are not the same thing.
DORIS
I’m listening.
BLACK FALCON
Excellent.
(then)
Behold, the Kragle!
Doris GASPS as BF unveils the sarcophagus we saw earlier.
A Robot Ninja opens it. Inside is aTUBE OF KRAZY GLUE
with some of the letters rubbed off to spell “KRA__GL_E.”
DORIS
The car in the city. That’s why it didn’t break...
BLACK FALCON
Very good. But there’s a lot more to my plan than that. Check it:
Black Falcon saunters over to a STAGE SET, with a life-
sized DIORAMA with living minifigs playing out a
residential tableau.
BLACK FALCON
Here is your typical family. You there. Move your arm a little higher. A little higher... NO NO NO that’s too high!!! Ugh you are all PATHETIC LOSERS!
The Dad puts his arm down slightly.
BLACK FALCON
Perfect! Wonderful. Don’t move an inch. You see how hard it is for me? I have to make all these plans and rules and enforce them on people. It’s whack-a-mole. I get one thing perfect, and then another thing gets messed up. Ay ay ay I get so tired!
DORIS
You never did understand the way of the Maker.
BLACK FALCON
Sure I do. There’s one right way to do everything, and I know it, and everyone else is wrong and is trying to screw me up! Until now.
Some NinjaVikings lower the Kragle into a cool looking
KRAGLE CANNON, operated by a ninjaviking in a helmet.
The cannon whirs to life, directed at the diorama.
BLACK FALCON
You. Introduce yourselves to me.
“DAD”
I’m sorry?
BLACK FALCON
Like, you say to me “Hello Black Falcon, I’m Dale, and this is my wife Mary and our children Mark and Lisa.”
“DAD”
But you just said it.
BLACK FALCON
Well, just-- you say it now.
“DAD”
Hello Black Falcon, I’m Dale, this
is Mary--
BLACK FALCON
My wife Mary.
“DAD”
(beat)
My wife, Mary.
BLACK FALCON
And our children...
“DAD”
And our kids--
BLACK FALCON
Children.
“DAD”
And our children Mark and Lisa.
BLACK FALCON
All together now.
“DAD”
<*SIGH*> Hello Black Falcon I’m
Dale, this is my wife Mary and our
children Mark and Lisa.
BLACK FALCON
Well, hello, Dale, Mary, Mark and Lisa. I’m Black Falcon, and I’m very FREEZE TO MEET YOU!
He points to the operator, who pulls a lever on the
Cannon, which ZAPS them with KRAZY GLUE, freezing them!
BLACK FALCON
Exactly how I planned! BAHAHAHA! And it’s totally permanent!
DORIS
You want to do this to the whole world?
BLACK FALCON
So the whole world will be exactly how I want.
DORIS
But-- I’ll never see my son again. No mother will ever see her son.
BLACK FALCON
Unless they’re frozen when they happen to be looking at each other, exactly. Oh Doris, I’m so glad we could finally meet again, after all these years.
DORIS
What do you want from me?
BLACK FALCON
Isn’t it obvious? I want you to make me a better Kragle-Thingy!
DORIS
That’s really dumb.
BLACK FALCON
I mean this works okay, but it doesn’t have a wide enough spray. I need to make like a big cloud of sticky mist. And it’s not scary enough. And I hate the color.
DORIS
You’ll never get aw-- You’ll not achieve that which you have just described!
BLACK FALCON
What, do you think your pathetic son is going to save you or something? He can’t even put two bricks together.
DORIS
(lying)
I’ve trained him. Secretly.
BLACK FALCON
Did you? I think you protected him. Because you were afraid to have him live under the spectre of being found out. Of being hunted. You wanted him to fit in. To feel normal, isn’t that right?
Doris can’t look at him. BF shows her a poster with a
goofy image of Emmet. “Wanted: Broken or Together.”
BLACK FALCON
Big mistake, Doris. Thanks to that call, he’s going to get his butt kicked. He’ll fit in, alright. Into a coffin!
DORIS
Leave him out of this!
BLACK FALCON
I would, but I’m pretty sure he has the MasterPiece. It wasn’t in your apartment, and it’s not on you. But your son seems to have interesting taste in handbags.
He grabs a LEGO MAGNIFYING GLASS from his desk and shows
Doris the out-of-focus PURSE Emmet’s holding in the
Wanted photo.
BLACK FALCON
So, just to tie up all the loose ends, I’ll have to kill him and take the MasterPiece so the prophecy will never come true.
DORIS
No! Don’t, please! I’ll do what you want, please don’t hurt him.
BLACK FALCON
Oh, don’t worry, dear. You’ll do what I want regardless. I’ll simply use my very special electromagnetic machine to extract your thoughts and steal your ideas like I’ve done for all the other imprisoned MasterBuilders.
DORIS
No!
BLACK FALCON
Yes. Send her to the THINK TANK!!!
As Doris struggles, the guards take her away.