"BEETLEJUICE" (1988)

TB

BEETLEJUICE

BY WARRENSKAAREN

basedon astoryby

MichaelMcDowellandLarryWilson

TB FADEIN:

A crispandperfectNewEnglandtown. Almosttooneat to bereal. No visibletownspeople.CAMERAEXPLORES town.

CAMERAFLIES

overa ricketybridge--PASTthe MaitlandHardwareand Appliancestore--PASTthe church--theHistorical Society--UP overthegraveyardonthe hilland finally--

To theMaitlandhouse.The perfectVictorianhouse surveyingthetinyvillage.Suddenly--

A GIANTDADDYLONGLEGSSPIDER

mountsthecrestof thehillbesidethe house,pausesto wavea spindlylegandthen creepsmenacinglyontopof the Maitlandhouse.

A hand-- asbigas God's--with ahugetweezer, gentlyreachesdownoutof theskyand lies,palmup, in theyardnextto thehouse. DaddyLonglegsclimbs intoit. Thehandrisesintothe skyagain.

RevealsWinterRiverasa miniaturetown,whileThe DaddyLonglegsandthehand arenormalsize. Abovethe modelare ahomelyrepresentationofmoon,sun,and stars-- awhole,tiny,mechanicaluniversetotrack the hoursoftheday. A largeplatmap ofthecity is prominentonthewall.

The handisADAMMAITLAND'S.In hislate30's,he'sa solideasy-goingcitizen.Caprausedtomake movies abouthim.

Adam'smodeltownsprawlsacrossmostofthe attic space. Windowsoneitherendof theatticshedgood lightintothe warmroom. Adamverycarefullylifts the spiderouttheopenwindow. Smilesashe dripshim lightlyonthe breeze.

CAMERATILTSUP FROMTHEWINDOW

To seethereal WinterRiver,laidoutexactlyasthe

TB model,at thefootof thehill. Adambreathesdeeply and looksverypleasedattheglorioustownbelowhim.

ON HISHUGEHANDAGAIN

as itreachesintomodelandtweezesa tinysigninto the tinywindowofMaitland'sHardwareStoreonmain street. Itreads:

Adamleansdown andeyesthesign.

Adamturnsto seeentering:BARBARAMAITLAND,35--a wholesomebeautywhoismellowingwell.She smilesat him. Perhapsa certaintingeofsadnessabouther, becausetheydon'thavechildren.

She pushesawrappedpresentacrossthetable.

Adamsmilesand giveshera presenthe'shiddenunder the table.He openshispresent.A canof furniture oil.

TB wardrobe...

AdamhandsBarbaraa carefully-wrappedbundle--she unwrapshergift...rollsofvery expensivefloral wallpaper.She cradlesitinher armslikegoldleaf.

Adamnods,and embracesher.

Barbaracalmsdown,returningtoAdam'sembrace...as:

PHONERINGS-- Theyfreeze,thengrin.

ADAM& BARBARA (unison) Noone'shome!

HONKHONK outside.Theylookat eachotherhorrified. Peerout thewindow.

She shakesherheadwithresignationandgoesdownstairs. KNOCKINGondoorfrom below.

CAMERAFOLLOWSAdamandBarbaradownstairs.Wesee the rambling,oldfashionedqualitytothehouse.

Clean,sentimental,warmandfloral.Someroomsin progress.They continuedownthemainstaircasepast photosof themselves,oldphotosoftheearlydaysof WinterRiver,picturesandmementosofthree generationsinhardware.Barbaragoestothe kitchen

TB and Adamcontinuesdowntothebasement.

HER POV- AWOMAN

JANEBUTTERFIELD--tall,gawkyandaggressivepeeksin the kitchendoor.She'sdivorcedthreehusbandsand buriedanotherforgoodmeasure. She'sruthlessbutis weirdly,seamlesslypleasant.Shewavesalegalsized paperat them,startstocomeinside.

Barbaramakesdashforit andholdsit justasJane gets a footin. Janesmileswildly.

ThathurtsBarbaraa little.She looksatJane.

TB

Janecompulsivelyaffixesherbusinesscard,faceinside. in thewindowpane.

ADAM

is humminghappily,lookingforpaintbrushesinthe groundfloorstoreroom.He spiesacassettedeckand looksthrougha stackofcassettesandplaysone. It is anold INKSPOTSLOVESONG.

Barbaraisstartingtopaperthe wallsalready.She frownsat theMUSIC. Goestothe door.

It CLICKSOFF. Shegoesbackintothe room.

Adamputs awaythetapebut keepshummingthesong.He opensthe shuttersonasmallwindow. ONWINDOW...

He jumpsback,frightened.

Adamclosesthe shuttersasJaneaffixesyetanother cardto thewindow. Hecontinueshissearchfora brush.

JANE

TB exitsjauntily,flappinghercontractdownthelawn.

Adamcontinuesrummagingforabrush. Can'tfindit.

Barbarahasalreadypaperedafew rollsintheguest room.

The Victorianhousefromthemodel"intheflesh." Adamstandsby thestationwagon.

On thebumperofthe caris astickerreading: WARNING: IBRAKEFOR ANIMALS.

Barbaragetsin driver'sside.Theydriveoff.

Adamduststhe insideofthedashboard.CleanClean.

Putshis handonher shoulder.

TB We seethecar comingdownthehilltowardthebridge.

chorus.

Car reachesthericketycoveredbridge.Carshakes, bobbingupand downoneveryplank.

ON BarbaraandAdamTIGHT--(they'vedonethisroutine before). Theysinganold JohnnyMathissong.Witha lot ofvibrato.

Theylaugh.

Justlike themodel,butreal. Andpopulated.

CAMERAPAUSESONa gorgeousstorefrontwithabrass lionout front.Sign abovedoorssays--

BOZMANBUILDING1835

An oldmanpolishesthelionas Maitlandsdrivebyand wave.

Ernielooksaroundto seenoone'slookingandpolishes the ballsofthelion.

CAMERASPIESA JAUNTYDOG

TB likeBenji,peeingon theoppositecornerofthelion. Maitlandsdrivebystorewithsign:

DAY

The storeisburstingwithantiquesofallsorts, travelbrochures,photographsofhousesforsale,anda serve-yourselfXeroxmachine.LITTLEJANE,hereight- year-olddaughterisdrudginglymakingcopies.

Jane,phonein hand,rushestothewindowto watch Maitlandsdriveby. Almostpoppingthecordwhenit reachesitsend. She'swaitingforthe otherpartyto pickup.

Adamsprintsup thestepsofhis lovelyhardwarestore. OLD BILL,aslightly-addledancientbarber,isnapping in achairin frontofhis shop,nextdoorto Adam's. Adamfumbleswiththe lock,notinterestedinconver- sation. Hedropshis keys,wakingOldBill.

Billturnsaroundand continuesprattlingeventhough Adamhas entered.Billprattlesthroughout.

TB 1835buty'knowhisgrandsoncame

inherelastweek andsaidhe foundabottlewithan 1836stamp init plasteredinthefoundation. (suddenlydisgusted at thememory) He'sgothairdownto his goddamnedshoulders...

Adampullsdown afew goodpaintbrushesandcarefully picksup asmallmodelof theBozmanbuilding.He walksout. Old Billcontinuesunabated.

Adamstridesby quicklytothecar.

The Maitlandsdrivetheircaroutoftown.

ON JANE

Car approaches.

Fivebrushessiton theseatnext toAdam. Hecradles smallreplicaofthe Bozmanbuilding,completewith brasslion.

TB

Barbarastartstoapplythe brakes.

Justbeforethe bridgethedogwaddlesoutin theroad. Stopsto pee. Barbaraswerves.Asthe carhitsthe ricketybridge,thespeedisjust abit toomuch.

BoardsRATTLEandloosen,thecar skewsandcatchesin an openslot,careenstotheright,thenthe leftand the bridge.

A pilinghassmashedthroughthewindowonthepas- sengerside,crushingtheupperpartof Barbara's arm. She iswailinginpainand fright.

Adamtriesto helpBarbara.He triestoget outof the car. Noneof thissucceeds.

The dogfinishes,looksoveratthecar,walksacross the bridgeandstepsonthe oneboardwhichholdsthe car aloft.

The carrocksbackandforthfor amoment,andthen slidesforwardtowardthewater.

The carplungesintotherushingwater.It floats for amoment,andthensinkslike astone.

FADETO BLACK.

FADEIN:

TB INT.BARBARAANDADAM'SLIVINGROOM- DAY

Quiet,still,expectant.Thereisa firelaidin the hearth. Suddenlyandfornoapparentreasonitignites and burnswithafuriouscheerfulness.

BarbaraandAdamenter,dazed,wet,and bedraggled.

Adamleadsher towardthefire.

He holdsouthishandsto bewarmed. Barbaracomesup besidehim. Allthis timeshe'sbeenholdingher injuredarmwiththe otherhand.

She holdsherarmsoutto warmthem. Onehandcatches on fire.

BARBARA'SLEFTARM

Theystareat itdumbfoundedlybeforeAdamregainshis sensesandsnatchesitout ofthe fire.Two ofthe fingersareburninglikecandles,andBarbaraindus- triouslyblowsthemout.

Theyare sittingonthecouchtogether.Barbarais lookingawayslightly--as onedoeswhena doctoris drawingblood--whileAdam looksatherfingers. He frowns.

He looksathis skin.It ispale. He looksat

TB Barbara.

Adamgets up,a littleabsently,shefollowshimashe wanderstothe frontdoor. Hepeersout.

Barbaratestsherhand,clenchesandunclenchesher fist.

Adam,exploring,opensthedoor,stepsouton thefront porch.

Adam'sfaceis paintedwithcolorofsunset. Hestands atopthe stepsleadingdowntothefrontyard. Barbara standsjustinsidetheopen threshold,lookingout worriedly.

Adamstartsto stepdownto theyard.

He stepsoffthelast stepintotheyardand promptly disappears.

TB BARBARA

Adam!

Adamis nowhere.There'snoground,no sky,nothingto standon orholdonto orgiveboundariesordistance. Justvast nothing.Notwhiteand notcoloredeither. NOISEOF ACLOCKTICKING.

Adamlooksaboutsurprised,doesn'tlikewhathe doesn'tsee. Heturnsaroundto headbackup the steps. Thereareno steps.

His VOICEECHOESSTRANGELY.Herunsoffa littlein the distance,andcallsagainfromoverthere.

He goesevenfartheraway.

IN THEFOREGROUND

an enormousgearedwheel--thesizeof aman --rolls by, tearinguptheunseamedground.Somethingpoursup out ofthetear --oozeor stuffing.

Adamruns forwardandstaresafterthewheel,whichis now outofsight.

TWO SMALLERGEARS

lookingverymuchlikecomponentsofa giantwatch-- spinalongbehindhim. One ofthemveerssuddenly towardhim,and thoughAdamjumpsoutofthe way,the gearsnagshis trouserlegandshredsit. LOUD TICKING.

A PERFECTLYENORMOUSGEAR

comesbarrelingtowardhim.Adam leapsoutofits way. The gearturns,fish-tailing,kickingupoozeand stuffing.

Adamflingshimselfsuddenlytotheright,buttrips intothe pathofthe gear. Ashe'saboutto be crushed,he'ssuddenlyjerkeduptosafety.

TB EXT.FRONTPORCH- NIGHT

It'sBarbarawho'sgrabbedhim,andquiteevidently savedhis life--not life,perhaps--butexistence. He'sshaken,breathless.

Barbarastaresathim,as ifwonderingwhathe'sjust beenthrough.

BarbaraleadsAdamintothe house.

BARBARA

standsby themirroroverthehearthmantle. Onthe mantleis Barbara'sprizecollectionofporcelain horses. Adamcomestostandbesideher. Theylook intothe mirror,andthereisno reflectionofthem.

Barbarapicksupone ofthe horses,andtrotsitthrough the air. Thehorseisimagedin themirror.

She picksupan ancient,leather-boundbook.It's yellowandworn,aboutthe sizeofthe BoyScout manual.

TB CLOSEUP: ItstitleisHANDBOOKFORTHE RECENTLY DECEASED.

Adamis alreadyinbed,readingfromthehandbook. Barbaraisgettingreadyforbed --goingthrougha ritualof sortsthattheypracticedeverynightof theirmarriedlives.

TB perimetersvaryfrommanifestation

tomanifestation."Thisisgoing totakesometime.

BARBARA

paces,shetripson herwallpaperrolls.Kicksthem.

Theylook ateachother,thequestionhangsinthe air. Can'tthey?

Adamstandsand walkstothewindow.

She looksathimlike he'snuts.

She shakesherhead,exasperated.Flopsdownonthe bed.

ON ADAM- TIGHT-a somberlookcomesacrosshisface.

Barbaralooksupat him,questioningly.

She standsandjoinshimat thewindow.

THEIRPOV THROUGHTHEWINDOW

In thedistanceweseean automobilefuneralprocession threadingitswaytowardthenearbycemetery.Head-

TB lightsareon. WerecognizeJane'scarintheline.

REVERSEONBARBARAANDADAM

somberfaces.

TIGHTERONPROCESSION

It arrivesatthegravesite.We seesomefamiliar faces,Ernie,andOld BilltheBarber. Janeandlittle Janewatchas twoidenticalcoffinsarecarriedto- gether,totwo opengraves.

ON BARBARAANDADAM

She dropsherheadsadlyon hisshoulder.He leanshis faceslightlyintohers.

FADEOUT.

FADEIN:

Adamis settingupa smallmonumentinthemodeltown cemetery.It reads: ADAMANDBARBARAMAITLAND/UNITED IN LIFE/UNDIVIDEDINDEATH.

Barbara,tryingtoclean,letsouta frustratedYELP! She paces.

TB dustywalls)

Inheaventherewouldn'tbedust onthewallpaper.

Barbarashakesherheadand picksuptheHandbookand pagesthroughitdesperately.

CAR DOORSLAMSoutside.Adamand Barbaralookatone another. Runtowindow.

JaneButterfieldisstaringupat theoldhouse.

Adam,fromhis angle,canjustbarelyseeher.

Unhearing,Janeheadsforcar. SOUNDOFWIND UP. Blowsher dress.LittleJanestragglesalongwithher likean apprentice.

BarbarawatchesAdam,andshakesherhead. Hestops.

Adamnods.

Barbarasighsandnods.

Adamsmilesand goestohis model.

Janedrivesaway. CAMERAHINGEStosee aFOR SALE sign. Acrossit-- anothersmallerbanner.Itreads: SOLD!

The Maitlandsareasleep.CAMERAEXPLOREStherooma bit. It isgettingslightlytatty.Adamrollsover, pullingthecoversoffBarbara. Wesee:

ON BARBARA--sheis hoveringoffthesideof thebed.

An OMINOUSRUMBLE--likea 4.0earthquakeshakes the house.GLASSRATTLES,theceramichorsesonthe mantelpiecejumparound.Barbarafallstothefloor. Theylook atoneanotherwithhorror. Theyleapup and

TB run downstairs.

The RUMBLEBUILDSTOACLIMAX,thereis aLOUDMETALLIC SQUEAL,andthena CRASH...justasBarbaraandAdam arrive.

THE FRONTDOOR

smashesopenrevealingamovingvanramp.

A TEN-FOOTELECTRIC-BLUEITALIANLEATHERCOUCH

slidessmoothlydowntheramp. Onthe couchsitsDELIA DEETZ.

The couchCRASHESintothebaseofthe staircase, smashingthenewelpostand severalofthebalusters. Barbaracringes.One ofthebalustersfallsatDelia's side. Shegraspsit likea scepter.

Two MOVINGMENrushdowntheramp.

MOVINGMAN#1 Sorryaboutthat,Mrs.Deetz.

Deliais relentlesslyNewYork,relentlesslyfashion- able,relentlesslythin--totallyselfassured.

She isalsoa womanwitha mission--togut Barbara and Adam'shouseandremakeitin herownveryupscale image.

Delia'sgazeis onthelivingroom,but shelooks throughAdamandBarbaraas iftheyweren'teventhere (whichto hereyesthey'renot).

Stillholdingthebaluster,Deliagetsupoff thecouch and movesintothelivingroom,surveyingitwithan odd mixtureofambition,andresolution.

BEHINDHER

the twoMovingMenbringin amatchingblueleather armchair.In thearmchairsitsLYDIADEETZ.

Lydia,age14, isa prettygirl,butwan,paleand overly-dramatic,dressedassheisinherfavorite color,black. She'sacombinationofa littledeath rockerandan 80'sversionofEdwardGorey'slittle

TB girls.

She hasa coupleofexpensivecamerasaroundherneck -- andis alreadytakingphotographsofthemoving men. Lydiais cool,Lydiaissullen,Lydiaisher father'sdaughterbyhisfirstmarriage.Lydiais usuallyabouthalf-pissedoff.Butunderneath...we likeher alot.

The MovingMenstillholdupthe chair,waitingfor Deliato decidewhereshewantsit.

TIGHTON Lydia--calmlysurveysthehouse.

DeliasignalswearilythattheMovingMencan putthe chairdownanywhere.

Lydiahopsdown outofthe chair,andcomesfarther intothe livingroom.

That'sthecue forCHARLESDEETZ,whocomesinthrough the swingingdoor,andacrossthediningroom...aner- vousbut basicallypleasantman,CHARLESDEETZis intenton attackingrestandrelaxationwiththesame vengeancethatearnedhimmillionsinrealestate.

LYDIA

exploringonherown, gazesaroundthelivingroomwith growingpleasure,shebacksupfora goodangleto photograph.

CAMERAHINGES--She isstandingwithherbackrightup to Barbara--whois horrifiedatthiscreature.

Charlesenters.

TB

Lydiagazesat adustymaze ofspiderwebs.

A movementmakesLydiaturnaroundandscream.It is Delia. NotBarbara.

A VIOLENTFALSETTOSCREAMturnstheDeetzfamily's attentiontothefrontwindows.

OTHO'SMASSIVEBODY

Wedgedin thewindowframe.The short,stubbylegs, dressedinthe world'slargestpairofGeorgiaArmani slacks,protrudeintothelivingroom,wavingfran- tically. ExpensiveItalianloafersarekickedoffthe feet,revealingapairof expensivepatternedsocks. By theirfeetshallyeknow them.

Otho'svoicecomesas iffroma greatdistance.

Deliaturnsto CharlesandLydiaforhelp-- doesn't get it-- andatlast pullsOthointothelivingroom single-handedly.

TB All thiswhiletheMovingMenare variouslycartingout the handsomeoldfurnitureandbringinginthehideous new furniture.

Othois RobertMorleyathismost obscenelyfatand faggoty. Buthe'snotall fatandfun --thiscustomer carriesnastyemotionalweightaswell.

OTHO

holdsontothe curtainsforsupportasheis pulled throughthewindow. Andwhenhe isat lastallthe way through,anduprightonhis feet,hesuddenlygivesa tremendousyank.The wholedraperyapparatus, includingvalences,crashestothefloor.

Othois lookingaroundtheroomwithan eyeofquiet horror.

He exitstofindsolacein aquietcornerof hishouse. Duringthisspeech,Othohasbeen surreptitiouslypos- ing forLydia'scamera.Sheclicksthe shutter.

TB DELIA

Therestof thehouseisprobably worse.Whencan youandI get started?

Out ofthepocketsof hissize56 GeorgiaArmani jacket,Othotakestwocans ofspraypaint-- thekind the graffitiartistsuse--andshakesthemasif they werecastanets.They certainlysoundlikeit.

At oneend,nearthe stairsleadinguptothe attic, BarbaraandAdamare slumpedagainstoppositewalls.

Barbaralooksathim.

Barbaraisshockedat thereality.

Othoand Deliacomeupthe stairsattheend ofthe hallway.

DeLiaturnsand spray-paintsonthewall--inluminous orange-- thewordMAUVE.

Deliaopensthe doorandtheystepinsideanotherroom.

It'snot Lydia'sroomyet,ofcourse,becauseitstill has theMaitlands'furnitureinit.Barbarahadpartly wallpapereditbeforetheaccident.Hertoolsare still there.

Othospray-paintsthewordVIRIDIANonthewall-- plus the wordBLUEGREEN--and Cr203,rightover apicture of AdamandBarbaraaskids.

TB

science,Delia!Thinkofme as DoctorOtho. (lookingatwall) Andthispatientistrulysick!

Deliasmiles. BehindDeliaandOtho,theroom'scloset doorswingsslowlyopenwithand ominousCREAK.

DELIAAND OTHO

turnthat way,witha suggestionofdread.Insidethe closet,Barbara'scorpseissuspendedfromtheceiling by abelt. The corpsetwistswithaCREAK,andBarbara grinsghostly--and slowlytearsoffherface,leaving nothingbutmuscleandbone beneath.Hereyeballs dangleon hercheeks.

Deliaand Othostareaghast.

He walksover. Looksinside.

He finds,neatlyhunginplastic,theMaitlands'

image,he peersthroughtheplasticatthem. Holding eachup toDelia. Barbarawatcheswide-eyedatthem.

Deliaand Othocomeoutof Lydia'sbedroomandgo throughthebathroom.Disgusted,theycontinueonto the study.

OTHO

reachesoutand turnstheknob. Thedoorswingsomi- nouslyopenon Charles'study.Thishadbeen Adam's

wall,bookseverywhere.StraightoutofBetterHomes and Gardens1963.

ANGLE

Thereis oneslightdifference,however,becauseonthe rag ruginthe middleofthefloorlies Adam'sheadless corpse. Standingoverhim,holdinginonehanda long knifeand intheotherAdam'sblood-and-goredripping headis Barbara--witha maniacallookonherface. Behindthem,CharlesisthumbingthroughAdam'sAudubon collection.He sitsuplikea corneredanimalprotect- ing histerritory.

INSIDETHEROOM

The eyesofAdam'sseveredheadopenandlook upat Barbara--she stopsscreaming.

Outside,Deliaisshakingherhead.

TB aestheticinstinctsofBetty

Crocker.

Theyhead upthestarsto theattic.

Adam'sheadhas alookof terroronit.

Adam'sheadlessbodyjumpsupoff thefloorandrushes out oftheroom.

Othoand Deliaclimbing.Theheadlesscorpsecareens pastthem,aroundthe bendinthe stairsandoutof sight.

Deliashakesherhead.

The expressiononOtho'sfacesuggestsheknowsmore

TB thanhe's telling.

The headlesscorpserushesthroughtheopendoorinto the attic.

The headlesscorpseslamsthedoorshut,turnsthekey in thelock. Thenhe slumpsagainstthelockeddoorin an exaggeratedstanceofrelief.

Deliatriesthe knob.The doorislocked.

BarbarastillholdingAdam'shead.

CharlesstillcalmlyleafingthroughtheAudubons.

BarbaradistractedlyputsAdam'sheadonabookshelf. His headlessbodyfumbleswiththebooksandfinally reattachesthehead.

Barbara,fuming,movesaroundCharlesmakingwild gestures.

She stormsoutofthe room.

Barbarastormsin,as ifstraightfromtheroomup- stairs. Sheheadsstraightforthebackdoor. Justas she opensthedoor,Adamrushesup.

She flingsopenthedoorandstepsoutside. She promptlydisappears.

BarbaraplungesintothedustysurfaceofTitanwithan enormousSaturnloominginthesky. Shelooksaround withwonderand somefear.

A SULFURVOLCANO

eruptsin thedistance.A meteorCRASHESwithalurid EXPLOSION.As froma greatdistanceshehearsAdam's VOICE. LikeTHUNDER.

She turnsslowlyintheyellowdensesandthatcovers the surfaceofthisdistantmoon.

TB

BARBARA'SPOV

Adamis trudgingtowardsher.Behindhim,hovering isolatedinthe air,isthe kitchendoor.

BACKTO SCENE

Adamat lastcatchesupwithher. Surveysaroundthem.

BEHINDTHEM

Somethingisburrowingrapidlytowardthemthroughthe sand. TheSomethingcouldberightout of"Dune".

BARBARAANDADAM

starefor amoment,thenAdamgrabsher andpullsher towardthekitchendoor. Butthe kitchendoorhas moved,so theyveerinthe newdirection.

The Somethingfollowsthemandrisesoutofthesand.

ON SOMETHING

It isa verybig,verynasty,and veryhungrySNAPPING SANDWORM.It ROARSandlungesat them.

BARBARA

slightlyangeredatit,instinctivelybatsatit.

THE SANDWORM

is momentarilystunnedatBarbara'saudacity.It freezesandshakesitsloathesomehead.

BARBARA

batsat itagain. Adamis wide-eyed,triestopullher away. TheSandwormrecoversandROARSafterthem.

ADAM

grabsBarbaraandtriesto escape,buttheyslipand

TB sinkin thesand.

Theymake itto thedoorjustin time,swingitopen and hurlthemselvesthrough.Thedoorshutswitha BANGjust infrontof theROARINGSANDWORM.

THE SANDWORM

rearsand ROARSinfrustration,HOWLINGtotheringed planet.

Barbara,weeping,throwsherselfinAdam'sarms.

She hugshimtight.

Bothcontemplatethathorror.

Theyhead forthediningroom.

The Deetz'saroundthediningroomtable.Thereare candlesandgoodchinalaid out--butthey'reeating out ofChinesetake-outboxes.

don'tknowbetter.

Deliarollsher eyesandnods. She'sbeenthroughthis before.

Delialaughs. Charlessmiles.

TB

Deliastaresat Lydia.

Deliashiftsherglareto Charles.

OUTSIDETHEDOOR- ON THESTAIRS

-- listening,sitBarbaraandAdam.A tearrollsdown her face.

Adamand Barbaraarelyingdownonthe floor,peering out ofoneof thesmallwindowsoverlookingthefront yardof thehouse. Thehandbookopeninfrontof them.

The entirefrontyardisalivewithworkmenandtheir vehicles.Plumbers,electricians,cableTVmen,etc. In theroadon frontofthe houseareseveralcarsof rubberneckinglocals,astonishedbyalltheactivity. The Cityhascometo Town. Movingmencontinuetomove in theDeetz'modern,expensiveanduglyfurniture. TheycollidewithGoodwillmencomingoutwiththe Maitlands'lovelyantiquesandpersonalpossessions.

Adamand Barbarajustlookatone anotherasifto say "We'renext!" Adamleafsthroughthehandbookfuri- ously.

Adampullsfrom thebookan ancient,yellowed, crumblinghandbill.Hecarefullyopensit.

ON handbill--veryprimitive,crude,redprinting.

The remainderofthesheetistornoff.

TB ON Barbara--fingeringthetornedge. Lookinginthe bookfor theremainder.No luck.

Charles,awayfromthechaosoutsideis calmlysteeping a mugof herbtea. Hissolitudeisinterruptedbya 2500lb. Vulcanrangebreakingthroughatoo-small kitchenwindow.

DELIA- OUTSIDE

is beratingtheineptcraneoperatorandshrieks periodicallyatsomefineartmoverswhoare struggling underher horridmodernweldedsteelsculptures.

LYDIA

snapsphotosof themayhem.She stopstoscanthe whole house.

LYDIA'SPOV

Whenher gazereachestotopof thehouse,shesuddenly glimpsesBarbaraandAdam'sfacesinthewindow.

BACKTO SCENE

Lydiablinkshard. Hermouthdropsopen. Shelooks all around--asif she'djustseena ghostortwo.

JANEBUTTERFIELD'SCAR

pullsup. LittleJanesits inthefrontseat,burdened withan enormousstackofcollatedandstapledcopies.

LydiacatchessightofJane andrunsover.

TB LittleJanelocksher door,infearof Lydia-the strange. Lydiastaresather.

Janehandsa keyto Lydia.

Janegoes away.

ANOTHERANGLE

Lydia'sfacesobersasshe looksupat thenowempty atticwindow.

Lydiadropsthe skeletonkeyintoherpocketsurrepti- tiously. ShefollowsDelia'sSHRIEKING.

Lydiaroundsthecornerto seeDelia,pinnedflat

TB againstthehouseby oneof herhorridsteelsculp- tures. Twomoversarestrugglingtofreeher. Lydia snapsa quickphotograph.

TheyfinallyfreeDelia. Sheclutchesather head, justshortof tearingherhairout.

Lydiawalksoff towardthehouse.

Barbaraishalf-hidingontheedgeof thewindow.

Lydialooksup thestairsatthe atticlanding.She's a littlescared.She decidestogoup thedarkstairs.

IN THEHALL

At theendof thehallstandsCharles,directingmen who arecarryingbooksintotheroomthatwillbe his study.

He continueson.

fillsthe hallway,becauseworkmenarealreadygoingat the wallpaper.Lydiaemergesfromit. Lookingupat stairwaytoattic,mountingcourage.

Lydiacreepsupward,takingtheskeletonkeyfromher pocket. FLOORBOARDSSQUEAK.

Adamworkson hismodel. Hehearsthe SQUEAK,looksup confidently.

Barbarasmilesandknitswhilerockinginher chair.

Lydiaquietlyinsertsthekeyin thelockof theattic door. Sheturnsit. Thekeyis stiff.She turns harder. It'sstuck. Lydiatriesthedoor-- it'sno go. She turnsthekeyagain. Thistimeit goesall the wayaround.

BarbaraandAdam,surprisedbythekey, lookateach other,carefully,veryquietly,standupandtiptoe towarddoor.

ON THESCREENOFAN OLDTV SET

in thecornerofthe attic--Suddenly--a ghostly imagePOPSON.

ON TV- A BIZARRE,SMALLISHFELLOW

outfittedina too-bigcowboyhat,badwig,andover- sizedsunglassesappearsonscreensingingvery quickly. (It'saheavilydisguisedBETELGEUSE.)

BEHINDHIM

the CAMERAQUICKLYPANSanassortmentoftombstonesa

TB la CalWorthington.

ANOTHERANGLE

CAMERATILTSDOWNa flashingtombstonewith "BETELGEUSE"writtenonit.Adam rushesovertoshut it off. Hecan'tfinda plug. Helooksaroundbehind set...no workingsinsideatall.He peersaroundto the screen.It isblank. Suddenly--BetelgeusePOPS ON AGAIN.

He POPSOFF. AdamandBarbarastareat eachother.

Lydialistens. Didshehearsomething?She putsher handon theknoband triestoturnit. It'sstuck.

Thenthe keyeerilypopsoutof thelockand fallson the floor.

Charles'headsuddenlyappearsbehindher.Scaresher.

Adamis holdingontightto theknobof thedoor. With her knittingneedle,Barbarahaspokedthekeyout.

The twostandabsolutelystill,listening,terrifiedof the livingintruders.

TB LYDIA

Iwas justtryingtoopenthe door.Mrs. Butterfieldbrought overaskeletonkey.

BarbaraandAdamtighten.

ON THELANDING

She handsherfatherthekey. He looksatit and throwsit inthecorner.

understand?Noise-free.

He goesdownthestairs.

He continues.

A BLASTOFSTEAMfrom belowdrownsoutherwords. Charlesstopsandturnsaround. TheBLASTSTOPS.

TB

TIGHTON LYDIA

She isresolved.

Charlescontinues.Shebeginsto followslowly.

ON KEY

behindLydia. WIDENasAdamrushesout thedoor,grabs the keyandrushesbackin again.Lydiahearssome- thingbut doesn'tsee.

BarbaraandAdamhave movedawayfromthedoor.

Adamtakesa pieceof chalkanddrawsa littledooron the exposedbrickofthechimney.

Adamdrawsa doorknob.Thenhe triestoturn it. The door,perhapstohis surprise,failstoopen.

don'twetrythis Beetleguy??...

He looksatbook,thenwriteson thedoor: KNOCKAND ENTER. HeexchangesaglancewithBarbara. She'seven moreskepticalthanbefore.Turnsaway indisgust.

ANOTHERANGLE

He knocksthreetimes.Turnsknob. Thechalkeddoor swingsmagnificentlyopen.

Behindis aneerielightsource,SOARINGMUSIC,maybe evena heavenlychoirsingingpear-shapedsyllables.

BarbaraandAdamlook atoneanotheragain. Theyhold handsand steptentativelythrough.

Theirfiguresarelostin theblindinglight.

Theystartto shutdoorafterthem.

ON THEATTICLANDING

Lydiais staringatthelightpouringfromunderthe atticdoor. It suddenlygoesout.

ON LYDIA

She isdumbfounded.Shelistens.

ON THELANDING

Lydiaspeedsdownthe steps.

Charles,fiercelyintentonrelaxing,paceslikea catfishoutof water.RalphLaurenin K-mart.He stretches.He sitsuneasilyinaneasy chair,tries likehell togetcomfortable.Finally,heputsa book underhis bottomtogetsittingstraight.Looksaround tappinghisfingers. Whattodo? Looksat watch.

He takesdowna bookfromAdam'slibrary,itisan Audubonbookof birds.He whipsthroughitlikeit's the comicsandthenlooksaroundformore.

He findsthe"IllustratedWalden"byThoreau.He speedreadsit.

He isnow reallybored.Goesto thefireplace,tries to lightit. Cannotdoit. Goes todeskand writes:

TB

He studiesbirdposters.Findsbeautifulcardinal picture.

Takesfieldglassesandlooksout window.

HIS POV

Spiesbig ugly-lookingrattybirddevouringsomething.

ON CHARLES

horrified.Wrinkleshisnose.

Lydiaenters. Hejumps.

Lydiais shocked.

Charlesreturnstofieldglasses,spiessomething.She looksat himin frustration.

She exits.Charlespeersafterher,browfurrowed. Looksout againatthevillage. Useshisfieldglasses to geta betterlook.

HIS POV

It isthe BozmanBuilding.Ernieisoutfrontpol- ishingthebrasslion.

TB

ON CHARLES

He thinks.Movesthe fieldglassestopunctuatehis discoveryofthebuilding. (Hiseyesneverleavefield glassesthroughoutthefollowing.)

Thatreallyregisterswithhim. Withoutlooking,he dialsa familiarnumberonthephonewithone hand, liftsthe receiver.Heclackshisteethtogetherpur- posefully.

He hangsupand continuestospyonBozmanBuilding. Clackshisteeth.

TIGHTSHOT- BARBARAANDADAM

Verystill,theylook cautiouslytotherightandleft -- justwiththeireyes. They'reastoundedbywhat theysee, thoughwedon'tyetsee it.

CAMERADRAWSBACKand wefindthatAdam andBarbaraare

TB in:

The mostunpleasantwaitingroomthatyoueverremember waitingin. Fiftiesfurniturewithbrokenlegs, couchesproppedupon telephonebooks.

patcheda hundredtimes.NationalGeographicswiththe coverstornoff. The "Takeanumber"registersinthe millions.

AS THECAMERACOMPLETESACIRCLEOFTHE ROOM

We seea RECEPTIONIST.She'sthequintessential50's receptionist--tightsweater,bullet-breastedbra, bleachedhair,redlipstick.She'swearinga ribbon acrossherbreastreading"MISSARGENTINA"andthere are knifeslashesacrossbothwrists.

TB actually,inthathouse,during

whichyougetonlythreeclass-one

probablyhaven'tevenreadthrough themanualcompletelyyet.

TYPIST

BehindtheReceptionistholdsupbothhandseachof whichhaveonly threefingersonthem.

TYPIST

comesinthrees...

The waitingroomisnowfilledwithpeople. Dead people,somein fairlyawfulstates.A cornucopiaof carnalshreddage.

Adamand Barbaralookaroundforamoment,thenvery quietly,theyreachoutto grasphands.

CAMERAPUSHESINCLOSE.

Lydiakneelsdownwitha screwdriver,anailfile,an ice pick,anda creditcard.She insertsnailfile intothe door. Shestruggles,andafterseveral

TB attempts--finallyusestheice pickandPOP! The doorswingsopenominously.

Lydiaenters. Theroomis dim,andfilledwithdust motes. Thereareshadowsinall thecorners.

She bumpsintoaswitchwhichengagesthemodelsun and moonand thateerilyilluminatesthemodeltown.She's frightened,thenentranced.

She peersatit fromdifferentangles,herfearfor- gotten. Shenotessmalltoolsscatteredaroundan unfinishedarea.She continuesaroundthemodel, oblivioustoeverythingelse.Then...

She kickssomething.Ducksunderthetableandcomes up withsomething,holdsitupto thelight. It'sthe handbook.She looksthroughit. Findsthemarked page...looksatthe chalkdoor.

BarbaraandAdamare stillholdinghands,asifthey hadn'tmoved. LikewaitingforanIRS audit.

The Receptionistoverhears.ShepointsatBarbara.

She holdsupherwristsand smilingatherlittlejoke, wrigglesthemindicatingherslashes.

BarbaraandAdamlook atthem. Corpsesresumedoing whatthey weredoing.A GRINDINGNOISEO.S.--The Receptionistlooksup.

TB BarbaraandAdamalso lookO.S.

THEIRPOV

A MessagedeliverywireGRINDSalongloudlyona pulley. Theactualmessageisheldin thehandof the MESSENGER,aflattenedcorpse,suspendedasifona shirtclothesline,tiremarksonhisfaceand clothing. A majorroadkill.Dustand gravelgroundintohim.He smileswanlyat BarbaraandAdamasthe Receptionist takesa messageona pieceofpaperand readsit.

BarbaraandAdamupsetat thelossof theirhandbook...

Lydiais studyingthehandbookwithintenseinterest.

Lydiagivesone morelookatthe book,andthengoesto the doorquicklyandsilently.

Adamand Barbarawalkthroughadoor.

TB A vastroomof desksarrangedinagrid,straight out of"HowTo SucceedInBusiness"...Eachdeskis occupied,too,butmostof thesecretariesaremerely skeletons,ormoulderingcorpsesslumpedovertheir typewriters.

Onlyone secretary,somewhereinthevastgrid,is typingslowly,withlongpausesbetweenwords.

The Messengeronhisreturntrip,parallelsBarbaraand Adamas theywalkalong. Barbaracan'tlookathim.

ANOTHERANGLE

He laughsathisown jokeashe goesbackthroughthe very,verynarrowslotin thewallwherethe line runs. Adamand Barbaralooktotherightand left. A vaststackof filesslipsoffa deskandspillsout ontothe floor.

BarbaraandAdamentercorridor.

Empty,likea hotelcorridor,butallthedoorsare of differenttypes--a revolvingdoor,adutchdoor, churchdoors. Theywalkpasta waist-highwindow, coveredbya roll-upshade.

She bumpsintotheshadeandit rollsupFLAPPING. She staresin throughthewindow.Adampeersin ittoo.

THEIRPOV

A smouldering,mist-filledroom.Fromthesmokyplasma floatsan occasionaltorturedsoul.UnspeakablySAD MUSICwaftsfromwithin. Theygetonly aglimpseof

TB the bodiesinthishorriblehumansoup.

Suddenly,floatingupfrombelow,immediatelyonthe othersideof thewindow,a white-crepefaceemerges. It seemstobe thatofa woman,hereyesare redand bluetearsrim them. Herpaleskinis coveredwitha flakingcrustofsalt. She wearsthesaddestlook ever. Hermouthopensplaintivelybutnosoundcomes.

A reflectionjoinsthemontheirsideofthe window.

A SINISTERLITTLEJANITOR

wizenedandefficient,pullstheshadedownfirmly.

The manscuttlesoff.Adam andBarbarawalkonsadly, untiltheycome toa doorthatlooksexactlylikethe swingingdoorbetweenthekitchenanddiningroomof theirhouse.

Puzzled--Barbarapushesit.

Everythingisdark,quiet--but thefurnitureis obviouslynottheirs,andneitheristhedecoration. Adamand Barbaraexchangeglances,andpushonthrough intothe livingroom.

Quiet,dark. Everyone'sasleep.

TB differentdownhere.Allour

furnitureisgone.

ANOTHERANGLE

A spotcomeson,revealingJUNO--theircaseworker. She'san olderwoman,nononsenseabouther. Over- dressedinan outfitthatincludesablousewith ruffledcuffs. Wewillat somepointcatcha glimpse of herslashedthroat--shesmokesheavily. Occa- sionalysmokepuffsfromhercut throat.

TB thehousewithpeoplewhowere--

He indicatesaparticularlybadpieceofDelia'ssculp- ture. Junowalksaroundit shakingherhead.

The followingconversationtakesplaceasBarbaraand AdamfollowJunoas shelooksaroundthehouseand ends up intheiratticspace.

Juno'swatchBUZZES,shestopsit.

TB Useyourtalents.Practice. We

onlyhelpthosewhohelp themselves.Justdoa littleata time.And ofcourse,practice, practice,practice.It'stricky but--you weren'tmurderersby anychance,wereyou?

Pointsat herheadindicatingdumbness.

Adamand Barbaralookateachother. Puzzled.

ADAM& BARBARA Well...Wemight...

Junopeersinto themodelcemeterywithinterest.A FLY BUZZESaroundher.Junoblowsit away. Flyflees.

A gravelookcomesoverJuno'sfaceas thelight changestosuggestsomeonetellingaghoststoryaround a campfire.

TB JUNO

Iwasn'tgoingto bringitup -- butratherthanhaveyoustumble intoitand makeanothermistake, I'lltellyou-- (she nervouslypuffs her cigarette) Hewasmy assistant,buthewasa troublemaker... Hewentout onhisown asa free- lancebio-exorcist--claimsto getridof theliving...gotinto moretrouble--yourememberthe ChicagoFire...

Adamand Barbaralookateachother. Junocontinues.

Adamand Barbaraattempttointerrupt--

She takesafinaldragon thecigaretteandsmoke billowsoutthe holeinher throat.Junostartsto FADE.

Junofades. Gone. Barbaragoestothe model,looks at thecemetery.

Theyexit.

TB

CAMERAFOLLOWSACTION-OVERTHE MODEL

The FLYBUZZES.It landsandcrawlsalongintothe modelof the cemetery.

THE FLY

resplendentlygreenandiridescent,pausesandfiddles withits hairyparts.Startsto walkby.

VOICE Pssstt!Overhere!

Fly stops.Tiltsits multi-eyedhead.

ANOTHERANGLE

Two handscomeupfromthe earthofthatgraveholding a candybar.

VOICE Ican'tuse this.You shouldhave it. Fliesgetso littlerespect anymore.

THE FLATTEREDFLY

walksoverto thegrave. Ina flash,thehandsgrab the strugglingflyanddanceitlikea dolloverthe graveand thenpullitinto theearth.

A MANIACALLAUGHgrowsfromthegrave. WINDBLOWSas the Flydisappears.Ivywhipsawayfromthe grave- stone. Wesee, forthefirsttime,the chiseledname:

BETELGEUSE

CLAPOF THUNDER.

Charlesison thephone. Hehas drawingslaidoutin frontof him. Heis athis mosturbanpersuasive,and oddlyrelaxed--he isfinallyin hisownelement.

TB money?I thinkthatis theonly

realquestionhere.

New Yorkoffice,cooldesign,blackcouch,andMAXIE DEAN,a 55-year-old,supertan,white-hairedwheeler dealer. Signsays: CHAIRMANofBOTCOINDUSTRIES. Maxielooksrichand helookscoolas hetalksto Charles. Behindhim,Sarah,hisrich-lookingblonde wife,is lookingatherselfina mirror.

INTERCUTCONVERSATION

Maxieisn'tmuchinterested.

ThisburnsCharles. Buthe swallowsit.He hears somethinginthecorridoroutside--a kindofLOW MOANING.

TB MAXIE

Nolisten...we'lltalkabout thisvisitinglater,Igottago, Igottameetingonthe Japanese jointventure.

Maxiehangsup. Shakeshis head.

goesto thedoorand flingsitopen.

A figureisrighttherein thedoorway--A ghostunder a sheet. Buta "designer"sheet.Hewailsawaylikea banshee. Eyeholescutinsheets,Charlesjumps,re- covers.

ON Barbara,shestandsbackawayfromthedoorobserv- ing skeptically.

He slamsthedoor,turnsaround. Thenturnsaround again,andjerksthe dooropen. Theghostis retreat- ing,beaten.

CHARLES

TB (continuing)

Andyourmotherisgoingto kill youwhenshesees thatyoucut holesinher$300 sheets.You provokeheryouknow. Imean she canbean unreasonablebitch.But youdoprovokeher.

He SLAMSthedooragain.

AdamhelpsBarbaraon withhersheet.

Televisionstillgoing,Deliaasleepwithcurlers. Adamand Barbaraglideinside,gooverandstandbeside the bed.

She hasherever-presentcameraaroundherneck.Sud- denlyhearsMOANSfromher parents'room.Thinkingit is sexual,shecringes.Coversherears.

The NOISEgetsweirder.Lydiagetsinterested.

Adamand Barbaramoanandgroan. Deliadoesn'tstir.

BARBARA

TB Ifeelreallystupid.

Barbaramoanslouderandmoreweirdly.

Deliastirs,sitsup, butdoesn'topenhereyes.

Adamand Barbaraareexcitedthen...disappointedas Deliafumblesonthe bedsidetablefortheremotecon- troldevice,andwithoutopeninghereyes,turnsoff the televisionset.Thensheturnsover,and islost to theworldtotally.

Barbarasighs. SheandAdamwalk towardthedoor. Whenthey openithowever,Lydiaisstandingtherein her pajamas--shesnapsa FLASHPolaroid--andAdam and Barbarajumpbackwardswithyelpsoffright.

Lydiastartsbackintoher room. Thenlooksatthe developingphotograph.Somethingcatcheshereye.

Lydiayelpswithfear.

She screams.AdamandBarbarascream. Lydiarushes backtowardthem,startsflashingpictures.

Adamand Barbararunaroundandarepushedintoa corner. Polaroidsflyeverywhere.

Lydiarunsout offilm. Shestaresat them,panting withfear. A standoff.

Barbaramoans.

LYDIA

TB (skeptical,cautious)

W...Whatdoyou looklikeunder there?

Adamand Barbarapullshutbedroomdoor,gooutinto the hall--as ifto keepfromwakingDeliawiththeir conversation.

All threestareateachothertentatively.

TB ADAM

Nobodyelsecan.

Lydiablushes. Barbarasmileswarmly.Sheisbegin- ningto likeLydia.

Lydianodsher head.

Barbarasmiles.

Adamand Barbaralookateachother.

Adam'sriggedupthe moon,andstars,too. Adamand BarbaraandLydiastandjustbeyondthe fringesofthe town,dimlylightedgiants.

TB

Lydiaflushes.

CHARLES(O.S.)

TB Lydia!

Lydiastartsto exit.

Barbarashakesherhead,a littleashamed.

She sneaksasmileat Barbaraandexits.

A biguglymachineis doingsomethingunnecessaryto the yard.

The FAST-TICKINGCLOCKisatimer.Lydiais making Polaroidenlargements.She'squickandexpertatthis. She'sexaminingaprintwitha magnifyingglass.

Deliashrieks. Goingthroughthedirtyclothes,she's justcome acrossthesheetswiththeeyeholesin them.

TB

Lydia,poundingupfromthe basementwiththewet print,collideswithDelia,rushingdownfromthesec- ond floorwiththescissoredsheets.

Lydiaspeedsby her.

Lydiarushesin. Charlesisworkingfuriouslyona wordprocessor,amidstanarrayofmaps andplans.

LYDIA

TB Thisisnot ajoke! Thatsheet

wasfullof ghosts.

She handshimthephoto. Helooks. Lydiapoints out...

Charleslaughs.

Charlesbeginstoscrollthroughcomputerprogram.

Lydiaexits,withdetermination.Charleslooksupon the wallandrunshis fingeroveraplatmap ofWinter River,justlikeAdam'sin theattic.

Adampeersat themap,puzzled.

BarbarafollowsLydiaout. Adamthinks,intrigued. Exits.

Deliais franticallypreparingfortheevening'sdinner party. Lydiaisvery muchinher way,tryingtoshow her thephotographs.Deliaisn'tlookingatthem.

TB DELIA

Ican'tbelieveyouare doingthis tome! Ghosts. Iam givinga dinnerpartyforsevenpeople tonight.Othohasagreedto come backforthedemolitionofthe attic.My agent,Bernard,is bringingsomewomanwhowritesfor "ArtinAmerica."In fact,noone heretonighthasnotbeenin "VanityFair."Exceptyou.

Lydiaexitsangrily.

CAMERAHINGES. Barbaraiswatching,horrifiedat Delia'soccupationofher(Barbara's)kitchen.Adam appears.

ADAM

she'lltakesomeonetotheattic. Andthenwhat? We'vegotto try

gottagetsomehelp,hon.

Adamlooksintentlythroughthebook.

Barbara'seyeiscaughtby somethinginthemodel cemetery.She movesoverandseesa smallgravestone

TB lit upby neon.

Adamcomesover. Looks.

She looksatAdam,"shouldI?"Adamchewshis lip thoughtfully.

ZAP! Theyare transportedintothemodelgraveyard.

WINDBLOWS-- Withshovelsandlanterns,Adamand

cloudsmovein theskyacrossthe mechanicalmoon,

slowlyalongthegraves. Itis soeerie.

Adamcringestoo.

Adamlooksdown atthegrave. Knocksonthe stone. Nothing.

TB ADAM

Hasanythingbeensimplesofar? Fromthelookof theshovel,we dig.

Handsher ashovelanyway. Shedigs.

They'realmostdownsixfeet. By nowtheyareboth almostoutof sightinthe grave.Insidethe grave-- Adamsuddenlyhitswood.

Theylean downandbrushdirtoff abrassplateon the coffin.

"BETELGEUSE"

A slightTREMORshakesthem.Theylook ateachother and trytoscramblefromthegrave.

TOPSIDE

Theyjust barelycrawloutwhena moulderingcorpse springsoutof thegraveandjumpson Barbara'sback, and plantsathousand-year-oldkissonherlips.She screamsandburbles. Adampullsthecorpseoffher back. Thecorpsedoesa ThreeStoogeshammeronAdam's head.

Adamstaggersbackward,unhurtbutshocked.Allthree stop.

ON THECORPSE

Somethingunrealabouthim,almostmechanical.Then the corpse,grinninginsanelyatthem,fliesstraight up intotheair overtheirheads.He CRASHESagainst the tombstone...

And AdamandBarbaraseethecorpseis onlya huge

TB marionetteona stringandpole. ALAUGHcomesfrom behindthegravestone.

PUPPETEERBETELGEUSE

stepsout. He lookslikesomeonewhojustcrawledout fromundera rock. Thisis oneslipperycustomer. Betelgeusespeaksinarapidpolyglot,choosingwords and phrasesfromeveryslangintheworld. Barbarais mightyuneasy.

TB Air blowsupBarbara'sdress,exposingherlegs.He leers.

Barbaraisgrossedoutand increasinglyuneasy.Beetle Juicesensesit andgetsbackto business.

BeetleJuicelooksoffended.

ANGLE

He swirlshisfaceandshouldersintoa horrifying image. Pleased,helaughsathimself.

BARBARA

TB No,wedon't. We canwork

havetotry harder.

BARBARA

grabsAdam. Betelgeuseisgettingmad.Not pretty.

ZAP

Theyare gone. Betelgeuseisfurious.

BETELGEUSE

walksto atree andkicksithard. The wholehugetree falls,KABLOOM!

A smalltreefallsin themodel. Adam,acrossthe room,walksoverand straightensit.

He looksatBarbarawhois poringoverthehandbook. Makingnotes. Countingoutprocedures.

TB BARBARA

(proudof herself) Justahunch...rememberthings comeinthrees-- threetimesin, threetimesout...I'mgettingthe hangofthisstuff.

ADAM

turnsto lookdownat themodelagain. Straightensthe tree. Turnsaway. Wecan seea tinylightmoving throughthetinymodelforesttowardsthehouse.

Dinnerforseven,as promised.Everythinglooksvery nice. Deetzesarein controlandintheirelement. The elementisneurotic-chic.

Someof theguestsareaffectingdistasteforhaving had tomakethe longdrivetoConnecticut.There'sa bitchyfeudgoingon betweenGRACE,the"ArtInAmer- ica"writer,andBERNARD,Delia'sagent,thatthreatens to becomeafull-scalewar.

Othois drunkishandengagedinhisthirdfavorite occupation--directattacksonthepersonalweaknesses of hisfriends.He's singledouthisvictim,BERYL, the editorforBallantine,afrail-lookingwomanwhois

TB dressed"artistically."

knowwhattheysayaboutpeoplewho whocommitsuicide.In theafterlife, theybecomecivilservants.

LydiawatchesOthothoughtfully.Suddenlyverycur-

TB ious.

DeliasensesthatLydiamighttalkghostshere.

All quiet.

Otho'sglancesharpensatthis. Everyoneelselistens.

Charles,seeingthingsaren'tgoingwellforDelia, proposesatoast.

expresswayandfourteentoll boothstovisitus. Mayyour buildingsgocondo.

All lifttheirwineglasses.Alldrink.All synchro- nouslyspitout theirwine.All togethernow...

Charlesliftsthewinebottlefromthe cooler.Disgust spansthe room.

Deliastaresa spikethroughLydia.DeliaandCharles rushinto thekitchen.Otholooksat hisglassand peersat Lydia.

Deliarushesto getthesushi. Charlesfindssome goodwine.

He nodsreluctantly.Sherushesbacktoguests.

Lydiais lookingaroundcuriously.DeliaandCharles rushback inwithsushiand goodwine. Deliapoursfor Bernard,theobviousconnoisseur.Hetastesthewine. All wait.Is itKeroseneduPape? He smiles.All smile.

Othois moreinterestedinLydia'sstory.He leans towardher...

TB

But then:

DELIA

Somethingcomesoverher-- shestraightens,then crouchesalittle,herhand sweepsacrossinfrontof her,almostmechanically.Andthenour DeliaDeetz, unableto helpherself,leavesthewhitebreadworld behindandpossessed,singsinsomeoneelse'svoice,a rich,NEGROTENOR.

Lydia'seyeswiden. MUSICUP. Allthe guestsare spellbound.

Charles,too,hasthe beat--The InkSpotsinhis eyes. In avoicenot hisown.

Deliais shocked.Shelooksat Lydia.

She iscutshortby herpowerfulinspiration.

ALL THEGUESTS

exceptLydia,arepossessedtobecomethechorus. They standby theirchairs,theyspininperfectMotown choreography.

TB EVERYONE

"Shoodoowop. Shoodoowop."

A lookof sheerdelightcomesacrossLydia'sface, unlikeanythingwehavepreviouslyseen.She dances and clapsherhandsintime withthemusic. Sheis in teenheaven.

NOTE: Deliaandthe guestsarefullyawareoftheir singing/actions,buthelplesstostopthemselves.While it isfunny,it isneverthelessjustalittlefrighten- ing.

Lydiaexcitedlylooksaroundtheroomtosee ifshe can see theghosts.She can't.

Now thesongpauses...Everyonetriestorecoverfora shockedsecond.Instead,thetempochanges.

As thetempoquickens,theguest/chorusissyncopated likealternatingpistonsastheyarepushedandpulled intotheirchairs. Theysingthroughout.

THE SONG

crashestoits end. Bernardlooksdownathisshrimp cocktail.The shrimpdrapedoverthericeroll suddenlyrearsuplikea handand,makinga tinyfist, grabshis danglingtieand...smash--

WIDER-- Alltheguestsare punchedbytheshrimp,back overtheirchairsto theground. Theyarestunned. Suddenlyeveryonerunsfrightenedintothenextroom.

Adamand Barbarawithhugesmilesontheirfaces,dance the bugaloothenhugandkisson thelandinginfront of theattic. Doorisopen.

Theyenterthe atticandrunto thewindow. Lookout overthe frontyard.

YARDOF HOUSE- THEIRPOV- NIGHT

filledwiththe carsofthe guests,aswellasDelia and Charles'vehicles.

ADAM(O.S.)

TB Anyminutenow. They'llallrun

screaming.

BACKTO SCENE

Theywait. Nothingmovingoutside.

Adamsmilesproudly.

TimidKNOCKat thedoorof theattic.

BarbaraglancesatAdam. Theydon'tknowwhatto do.

Adam,puzzled,goestothe doorandopensit. Lydiais standingthere,sheepish.

pickanysheetsyouwant.

The guestsaresittingexpectantly.Thephotographs are beingpassedaround.Thewheelsareturningin Charles'mind-- he seesa goldmine. Everyonespeaks at once.

TB OTHO

We'redealingwithTracyandHepburn here,averysophisticatedpair.We mustprotectthem,treatthemwith respect.Nurturethem.

Charlesisscheming.

Charlesplotsandplans.

TB notuntilI seesomerealproof.

Lydiaappearsatthe baseofthe stairs.Everyone stopssquabbling,looksatherexpectantly.

Bernardshakeshisheadas ifall thiswereanelaborate hoax. He harumphs!

Bernardisnow convincedthiswholebusinesswasaput- on.

TB LYDIA

They'reghosts.Theydowhat they want.

BernardgathersGraceandBerylandwalksout thedoor.

Theyexit. Deliais horrifiedandembarrassed.

Delia,Charles,OthoandLydia-- creep,creep.

Lydianods. Deliasuddenly,brashlypoundsonthe door.

TB ofguestsdownthere,whothink

I'ma fraud. (to Lydia) Iam goingtoteachyou something hereLydia.You'vegot totake therighttonein thingslike this,orpeople--whetherthey're deadoralive-- peoplewillwalk alloveryou. (loud) Comeonout,or I willmakedeath somiserablethatyouwillwish youhadneverlived!

Deliapoundson door,whichopenswithaneerieCREAK.

Lydiais pushedinfirst. Shelooksaround. Delia, CharlesandOthocome innext,carefully.Oneby one theystraightenupandlook around.

Lydiashrugs,looksaround.

Charlesissuddenlytransfixed.Hestaresat the model.

Theygatheraround. Lydiaisa littlesadas shelooks at theemptyroomand themodel.

LYDIA

TB Comeon. Leavetheirstuffalone.

She shakesherhead. Othospotsthehandbook.Palms it.

Deliais suddenlyoutthedoor,urgingthemalloutside.

Othopocketsthehandbooksecretlyaseveryoneexits. Deliacarefullyclosesthedoor.

CAMERAEASESOVERTO THEWINDOW

We seetwopairsof hands,white-knuckled,grippingthe windowsillfromthe outside.

BarbaraandAdamare hangingoutsidethewindow. CAMERAEASESBACKto seethatinsteadofhangingfrom the house--

Theyare hangingfromaledgeoverThe Inferno--

ON INFERNO

circlesofrosy hell.SeveraldevilishMonstersslaver up atthem,hopingfornew meatforthe furnace.Small geysersspurtfoulgasses.

WINDS

BLOWhard onAdamand Barbara.Theystruggletohold on andpullthemselvesbackupandinto thewindow.

Afternearlyfalling,AdambarelysavesBarbaraand

TB theyfinallymakeit up,anddisappearintothewindow.

Delia,CharlesandOthoall startdownthestairs,one by one. Allareholdingthehandrail.

withtheseghostsoryou'llbe sorry.

Deliaglaresat him.

TB

POV --downthe handrail,astheywalkdownstairs. Lydialagsbehind,sullen.

LOWEREND OFTHEHANDRAIL

lifts,andturns. Thehandrailhasbecomea long,fat, diamond-backedsnake--unlikeanywehaveeverseen. It flashesterrifyingsteelteethandared-feathered comb. It turnsandHISSESatthem.

ON DELIA

She screamsasshelooksdownat herhandon therail -- itgripsthe scaly,throbbing,drippingbodyofthe snake.

THE SNAKE

justgets longerandnastierasitturnsback inthe air,up thestairstowardthem. ItstailcirclesDelia and spinsherlikea top. Whenshestops-- thesnake givesher abig wetsnakekiss.

SNAKE

snapsOthoin thebehind. Ithurts.

THE SNAKE

rearsup andspreadsared-combandHISSESloudly.

ALL THREE

of themfallovereachothertryingto escape.

THE SNAKE

hovershorriblyoverthem. GrabsCharlesinitscoils and squeezeshimhard--hisfearfulfacereddens,then it suspendsCharlesovertheedgeofthestairs.

leersat LydiaanddropsCharleslikea rockoverthe bannister.Charlesscreams.

THE SNAKE

Grinsat aterrifiedLydia.

SNAKE

rearsbackfor astrike,whensuddenly,likethunder. One wordisheard.

THE SNAKE

looksup withfamiliareyes.At topof stairsstands an angryBarbara.

Whathappensnextis almosttoofastforthe eyeto see.

THE SNAKE

shrinksandturnsbackinto theregularmahoganyhand- rail.

BETELGEUSE

or hisoutline,whipsupthestairs,throughthedoor, and isgonelikea rocket.

OTHOAND DELIA

rushdownstairs--Lydiais terrified.Sherunsaway.

Lydiascreamsandrunsdown thestairs.

TB

Slowly,Barbarareturnstotheattic.

Adamand Barbaraareexhausted.Agitated.

Adamis workingwiththemodeltown. Barbaraispac- ing.

ON THEMODEL

A columnofwatershootshighin theair.

Adamrushesoverto themodel-- looksdown.

Betelgeusehasruna beat-upoldpickupintoafire hydrant. Hestandsnearby,hoppingmad;shakeshis fistat Adam.

IN THEATTIC

BarbaraandAdam,obviouslydisturbed,lookatone anotherwithconcern.

BETELGEUSE(V.O.)

TB (thinand pip-

ing voice) Whydidyou stopme?

ANGLE

Angry,Barbarareachesdownintothemodelandplucks Betelgeuseup.

Barbaraliftshimup towardher,squeezinghim slightly.

CLOSEUP- BETELGEUSEINBARBARA'SHAND

overhis body,piercingtheskinofBarbara'spalmand fingers. Barbara'sbloodisarichpink.

She squealsandreleasestheevilspiritandheplum- mets.

Betelgeuselandsonthetowncommon. Betelgeuseis defiant.

ANGLE

TB We hearthetinnystrainsof"HonkyTonkAngel"as if fromdown thestreet.He turnsaroundtofollowit.

He turnsthecornertoa whorehouse,withwomen-- womenwithdemonhorns-- hangingoutofthe window,

swaggersinside.

Barbaraaghast,watchingthisfromabove.

ANGLE

He doesn'tfinish--astrongWINDblowsthroughthe attic,nearlyknockingBarbaraandAdamover.They closetheireyesagainstthegale.

Whenthey opentheireyesagain,they'renolongerin the attic.They'rein--

A cubicleina muchlargeroffice.MissArgentina swishesby.

She exits.Thereare otherspecialworkers.Theplace is really,reallybusy.Adamand Barbarasitdownto wait. Junostormsthroughwitha sheafofpapers. She seesthem. She issteamingmad.

TB

Betelgeuseoutanddidn'tputhim back,andyoulet Othogetahold ofthehandbook.

A BUNCHOFFOOTBALLPLAYERS

followJunolikehungrydogs.

DUMB#1 Hey,Coach,where'sthemen's room?

DUMB#2 Youdon'tneeda men'sroom. You'renotnoman nomore. But Coach,letmeget this--What's ourcurfewoverhere?

Theystartsquabbling.Junohas towrangletheminto anotherroom.

Charlessitsat thetablewitha smallbandageonhis head. Deliatakesoffher Guccibeltandwhipsit ona chairabsent-mindedly.

TB Charles.

It'sdark. The bedroomcurtainshavebeenclosed. DRAMATICOPERAMUSICbuildsthroughout.

Lydiamelodramaticallydressedinalongblackdress appearscarryingacandle. Sheissoftlycrying.

She sitsather dressingtable,thecandlelightshows her writingpaper.Shebeginsa verydramaticletter.

She looksatit andcrumplingthepaper,startsagain.

TB likeapuppetbetweentwo

readthis,Iwill begone,having jumpedoff...

She scratchesthatout.

willknowthatI amno longera toyinyour pettyfeuds.Goodbye, Lydia.

A tearfallson thepaperasshe foldsitand putsit in anenvelope.OPERAMUSICBUILDSAND CONTINUES.

Lydiaslowlymakesa copyofthe suicidenote.The greenof theXeroxlightfallseerilyonher sadface.

Lydiaat bottomofatticstairs.

LYDIA'SPOV- STAIRSANDDOORAT TOP

Theylook ominous.Shestartsupward.

The dooropensandLydiapeersin.

The roomisempty. Lydiacomesinside.

She hearsSOMETHING.Looksallaroundtheroom. Nothing.

TB Lydialooksaround,thenpeersintomodel.

A tinyBetelgeuseontheroofof abuilding,wearinga silkdressinggown,lookinglikehejustdraggedhim- selfout ofbed. One ofthehornedwhoresis nude, sunbathinginthecorner,andBetelgeusedrapesa blanketoverher. Lydia'sfaceloomsenormousinthe sky.

BETELGEUSE

cares?

TB Vicious...

He holdsuptwo fingersinaV.

Betelgeuseholdsuponefinger.

Betelgeuseputstwofingersonhisarm.

LYDIA

TB YourfingersaresosmallI can't

seethem. Firstword--two syllables.

He pointsbehindher.

ANGLE

Lydialooksbehindher. A greetbeetlethesizeof a

out towardhermenacingly.Lydiayelps.

POP! The beetledisappears.Betelgeuseholdsuptwo fingers.

ANGLE

Apprehensive,shejumpswhenasimplecartonoforange

ghostlyglass.

The orangejuicedisappears.Heshakeshishead.

Betelgeusedoesthesignalfor"NowPut ThemTogether."

LYDIA

TB Iam not! Beetle...Juice?

Lydia,puzzled,getsthemagnifyingglassandpeersat him.

ON HISUGLYFACEBIG INTHE GLASS

Betelgeusejumpsintheair,his robeparts--we don't see anything,butmaybeLydiadoes.

Lydiadoesn'tgetit.

TB (crosseshisfingers)

Ican arrangeit.Just saymy nameonemoretime.

She thinksaboutthatone. Shakesherhead.

Betelgeusesmiles.

Lydiawalksaroundthinkingfora moment.

Junostaringat them,hard.

usuallycan'tmaketheformulas work,butifOtho stumblesonthe rightwordsinthathandbook...he couldhurtyou. Asin -- exorcism.

Theyboth lookpuzzled.

TB ittakes,justgetthem outof

therenow. It'snotpretty,but --that'sdeath!

Adamstandsto go.

Theylook atJuno.

BarbaralooksatAdam.

ADAM

reluctantlypullsonhisface,andcontortsitinto a living,breathing,horror.Junoisevena little repulsed.

ANGLE

She reluctantlydoeswithherfaceaminorversionof Adam'shorror.

ANGLE

BarbaraandAdamslowlystandand walkoutthedoor. Barbara/Monsterlooksbackpleadingly.Football playersfloodintoJuno'soffice.One PARTICULARLY DUMBPLAYERhas arevelation.(He'sprettygrisly, maybesat tooclosetothe engine.)

PARTICULARLYDUMBPLAYER

TB Coach!Coach,I don'tthinkwe

survivedthecrash!

BarbaraandAdamlook ateachotherand continueoutthe door.

OUTSIDEJUNO'SOFFICE

Theyentera longdarkhallway. Theysuddenlyfind themselvesstandinginfrontofLydia'sroom.Adam/ MonsterlooksatBarbara/Monsterashegrabsthedoor- knob. Shestopshim. Tearsfall downhersadghostly face.

ADAM/MONSTER It'stoolate. Sometimesthings justworkoutthisway. We have to,honey.

BARBARA/MONSTER Nowe don't.We canrebelor something.We'lljuststayup thereinourroom. I'llread,you canbuildonthe model.Come on.

She rushesupthestairs,towardtheattic. Hefollows her.

ADAM/MONSTER Wait.We can't,honey.Our house...

She getstothe door.Grabsthe handle.

She throwsopenthedoor.

Lydiais standingoverthemodel,abouttosay Betelgeuse'sname.

Barbara/Monster,horrified,screams!

BARBARA/MONSTER Lydia,stop!

TB Adam/Monsterrunstograbher. Lydiaisterrified. Screams.

ADAM/MONSTER No,don'tsayit!

Betelgeuseslipsofftheroofintoa patchof thorny bushes.

Lydiascreams,Adam/Monstertriestocalmher.Lydia strugglesand,thinkingsheisbeingattacked,runsout the door.Smackinto Barbara/Monster.

Barbaracatchesher,frightensLydiaevenmore. Barbaraholdsontoheras shestruggles.Barbara/ MonsterslowlychangesbackintoregularBarbara. Lydiaseeswho itis andshehugs her. Likemotherand daughter.

ON ADAM- slowlyreturningtohimself.Hesmiles slightlyatthe scene.

Barbaraquicklyputsherhandoverher mouth.

TB dramatically

but forreal) Lifeisjust...unliveable...

Barbarahugsher. Shefumblesforwords. Thisis an unusualsituation,adeadpersontalkingaliveperson out ofkillingherself.SherocksLydiaa little. BarbaralooksatAdam.

Lydialooksat Barbaralovingly.

ADAM/MONSTER

is notsure,huffsarounda little.He istryingto changebackintoAdam,exceptfor hisnose,which remainslikea beakfora minute.Finally,itchanges too.

Lydiaand Barbaralaughathim.

ANGLE

WithoutnoticingLydia,OthoandCharlespushin

TB throughthedoorand grabthemodel. Theytakeit out the door.

Adamis besidehimself.Doesn'tknowwhatto do.

Barbarastopshimfromtakingaction.

Adamlookssuspiciouslyather.

She runsoutthedoor.

Lydiarunsthroughthehallwayandinto thedining room.

Lydiawalksintoa presentationinprogress.Sitting aroundthetableare Otho,Maxie,andDelia. SarahDean is there,too. ShelooksaroundLydiahopingfor ghosts. Sarahisheavilymadeup,smellsbad.

Lydia'sphotosofthe sheetedghostsareblownupand standingona nearbyeasel.Charles,overthemodel witha pointer,islostin mid-sentence.

TB totherightto startaninsectzoo

hereinthe oldhardwarestore. (seeingLydia) Lydia,didyoufinallydecideto joinus?

Theyall giveheran oilysmile.

SarahgetsMaxie'sattentionandunabletocontainher excitement,silentlyurgeshimtogetonwith the ghosts.

museumandsuchlikefollowsa train,ifyou'vegottheengine... solet'sseeyour goddamnedengine.

EveryonelooksatLydia.

Sarahis disappointed.ShegoestoMaxie. Deliatakes over.

TB here.But wearen'trelyingon

her. No,werely on professionals.Wehave...Otho.

The wholeroomturnstoOtho. Whois scribblingsome- thingand mumbling.

Otholooksup; hemissedthequestion.

He dramaticallyproducesthehandbook.

Lydiabeginsto thinkaboutthissceneandsheshifts to anotherpointofview.

The moonstaresdownicilythroughgrayclouds.Wind up.

Barbaraislookingoutthe window.

Adamisn'tconvinced.Barbaramotionshimto sitnext to her.

Deliacarefullybringsoutabig plasticbag.Lays somethingoutonthe diningroomtable.

Lydiastandsto see: Deliacarefullylaysout Barbara'swhiteweddingdress.Thennextto it,Adam's weddingtux.

Othothen holdsupthehandbook.

Othonods.

Lydiais nervousnow.Otho lightsacandleandDelia turnsout thelights.

Nothinghappens.Lydianervouslyturnsaway.

ANGLE

Thena SIZZLE,aTINY CRACKLE,alongonesideofthe square.

Barbarawithherarm onhis shoulder,talkstoAdam.

TB

Barbaraslowlysmiles.He doestoo.

He turnstoBarbara. CAMERAHINGESWITHhimtosee --

ON BARBARA

Her faceisfrightened.Shecannotspeak. Shereaches out tohim-- butis disappearing.Hereachesforher but sheissuddenly--GONE.

Varicoloredlightningboltsshootfromeverycornerof the square.A gaspfromeveryonebutLydia.

ON LYDIA--she islookingaway. Sheturnstosee:

ON THEDRESS

Barbara'sweddingdressfloatsoverthetableandfills slowly,painfully,withthearms,legsandfinallythe frightenedfaceofBarbara.A lightningboltflares.

Lydiarisesslowlyto herfeet,unabletoresist.

Morelightningbolts.

LydiawalksslowlytowardBarbara.

ON BARBARA

She isin pain,sheisvery slowlyaging.Shespeaks, but nowordscanbe heard. Notevenby Lydia.But we can seesheis callingfor...Adam.

TB LydiascreamsforAdam.

In alightningflarewesee:Adam searchingfor Barbara. Herushesoutintothe hallway.

His lastplaintivecallbecomesmuteashetoobegins slowlyto disappear.

On eachofthe watchersonebyone,scaredbut delightedtoo. Nooneis watchingLydia.

ON LYDIA--tearswellup inher eyes.

ON BARBARA

She isslowlyaging. Nowa bewilderedAdamappears, floatinginhis weddingsuit.SeeinghisBarbara,now olderthanhe is,Adamreachesforher hand...

ON HANDS--as hegraspsherhand,it seemstobe made of whitecrepe;itwrinklesandnearlycollapses.

Adam...puzzled,callshernamesilently.

TB MAXIE

They'realreadydead.Theycan't feelathing.

Obviouslynottrue.

ON BARBARA--shelooksdownslowlyat Lydiaandwith effortmakesa lovingsmile.She reachesouttoward Lydia.

Completelyhelplessnow,Lydiaweepsopenlyandthen somethingcomesoverher. Sherushesacrosstheroom. Staresdownat themodel.

A CRACKOFLIGHTNING.

Someone,orsomething,likethefigureofdeathin the Goyadrawing,isperchedatopthe gravestoneofBarbara and AdamMaitland.Thegravesbeneathhimareopen. The figureturns...itisBetelgeuse.Heis filinghis talonscasually.

He speakswithaghastlyrasp.

He grins.

LYDIA

TB (repulsed)

Yourqu...?But you're...

ON LYDIA

She ischilled.Stepsback. She turnsbacktothe Maitlandswhoarecontinuingto age. Looksbackto themodel.

ON BETELGEUSE

He doublesinsize. Thetombstonecrumblesbeneath him...

WIDERON GRAVEYARD

He doublesinsizeagain.

ON LYDIA

She hesitates.

ON BETELGEUSE-TIGHT

He looksupat herconfidently.

DININGROOM- NIGHT

BarbaraandAdam'scorpsesarenearlyatthe endof theirropes.

Othodoesn'tanswer.

CHARLES

TB (continuing)

Otho?

Lydiapeersat themodel. Betelgeuseistransforming. There'sa LOWRUMBLE.The modeltownstartstoshake.

Lydiabacksaway. Betelgeuse'shead,nowhuman-size, risesfromthe centerofthemodeltown.

TIGHTON HISFACE

His grinismalevolentandmalicious.It'sshowtime, folks!

ON DEETZES

-- whohavebeenfocusedon theMaitlandsnowturning aroundto themodel.

ON MODEL

BetelgeusebeginsabrightbutsinisterCarnival Barker'spitch.His shouldersnowareclearingthe model.

ANGLE

Sarahrushesoverto themodel,thinkingthisismore of theshow. Maxiefollows.

ANGLE

ON MAXIEANDSARAH

Theireyesgrow wide.

TIGHTON BETELGEUSE'SHANDS

Theysplit,unfurl,andtransmutateintotwo,shiny, hugesledgehammers.

ON BETELGEUSE

He grins,hiseyessparkleinanticipation.CARNEY MUSICUP.

ON MAXIEANDSARAH

Behindeachof them,agraduatedCARNIVALBELLRINGING GAMESTANDARDerectsitself.

ON BETELGEUSE

Betelgeuseswingshishammer/handsandsendsMaxand Sarahzoomingthroughtheroof. GONG. GONG.

ANGLE

ANGLE

He looksupat thesuspendedMaitlands.

TB BETELGEUSE

Let'shaveahand forthe Maitlands,BarbaraandAdam.They deservearest.

ON MAITLANDS

Wispyshadowsbynow, butstillalive/dead.Theyfall in aheap onthefloor. NOTE: Theyimmediatelystart to regeneratethemselves.

ON ADAM

Fillingoutagain,he strugglestostand,butfalls. Barbarashakesherhead,tryingtoregainher focus.

ANGLE

He wavesandthedoor opens.A littleItaliangentle- man appears.

ANGLE

Othois horrified.Suddenlyhelooksdownandsees his clothinghastransformedintoapolyesternightmare. He runsoutthe doorscreaming.Betelgeueselaughs withdelightthenfocusesonLydia.

TB BETELGEUSE

Let'sleavethiscrazyworld behindus. I'lltakeyouout in style!

Soundof eerieWEDDINGMARCH.Thefireplacechanges intoan expressionistaltar.

ANGLE

His leeringhornedwhoreswalklikebridesmaids,in step,throughthedoor. TheyrushtowardLydia.

ANGLE

Frightened,Lydiaisassaultedandpulledforwardby theseuglyhandmaidens;shesuddenlylooksdownand seesshe isnow clothedinablood-redweddingdress. Lydiascreams!!

Adam'seyeswiden.

Betelgeusewavesahandand Lydia'smouthfreezes. Deliaand CharlespleadwiththerecoveringMaitlands.

ON BARBARAANDADAM

Adam,not fullyrecovered,heroicallytriestospeak-- but hisjawfallsoff. An exhaustedBarbaratriesto helphim reattachit.

BetelgeuselooksatLydia.

BetelgeuseshiftshisglaretoCharlesandDelia.

TB FromBehind,Delia'shorridsculpturescometolife and attackCharlesandDelia.Thesculpturestwist aroundthem,forcingthemtowatchthe hideous spectacle.

Adamand Barbaraarerapidlytryingtorecoverasthe ceremonybegins.

A DEATH-MASKEDOLDPREACHER

slidesdownthe fireplace,readytoperformthe service,speakswithahissingdeathrattle.

His mouthdropsandisfrozen.

Lydiascreamsandstruggles.

Lydiastruggles.Her screamsaremuffledanddistant. Betelgeusegrabsherandshakesher.

Adam,now fullyregenerated,movestowardthem.He shoutstheincantation.

TB

ANGLE

Betelgeuseturnstohimand withasweepof hishand, Adam'steeth(asif theywerefalse),flyout ofhis mouthand CLATTERtothefloor. Adam,toothless, mustersuphis ghostpowersand--

ON TEETH-TIGHT-- theyrarebackand continue shouting...

ANGLE

Mayhembreaksout. A furiousBetelgeusestompsatthem withhis feet. Theteethscuttleunderthemodel.

ON ADAM

Speechless,AdamheroicallychargestowardBetelgeuse, readyto strikehim. Betelgeusespinsonhimandwaves his hand.SOUNDOF RUSHINGWIND.

ON ADAM

He hasbeenzappedintohis modeltown.

ANGLE

BarbarascreamsandjumpsatBetelgeuse.

Betelgeuseturnsonher,eyesflashing.

ON BARBARA

A gagcomesoverher mouth.

ON MODEL

Adamis runningaroundthestreetstryingtogetoutof the model.He looksupintothe sky,seesa redglow and THUNDERINGWEDDINGMUSIC.Hedoesn'tknowwhatto

TB do.

ON BARBARA

She tearsawayherface(liketissue)andtriesto say his nameagain...

ON BETELGEUSE

Moreangry,he waveshishand.

ON BARBARA

Her lipsarezipperedshut.

IN MODEL

Desperate,Adamgetsanidea. He runsovertothe truckBetelgeusehadcrashedearlier,jumpsinand triesto startit.

ON BARBARA

She unzipshermouthandtriesagain.

ON BETELGEUSE

Firedartsfrom hiseyes....

ON BARBARA

A chromiumsteelplateisrivetedacrosshermouth. She screamswordlesslybehindit.

IN MODEL

Adamfinallygetsthe truckstarted.

BARBARA

Strugglingwithhermouth,frustratedtothebreaking point,shelooksall aroundtheroomandrushesto the windowandCRASHESthroughintothenight.

TB

IN MODEL

Adamsees Barbararushout.He looksbackat Betelgeuse,floorsthegaspedalandgoesfor onelast shot.

BETELGEUSE

A RUMBLEcomesfromoutside.Everyonenoticesbutthe Preacher.He stutterstofinishthewedding.

LOUDERNOISEfromoutside. NownearlyDEAFENING.

ANGLE

The truckisracingupto Betelgeuse'sfoot.Adam bailsout justintimeas thetruckhitsBetelgeuse's footand EXPLODES,givinghimadistractinghotfoot, then--

ON WINDOW

Throughit-- amidstacloudof yellowdust--CRASHES the sandworm. Barbararideshimbareback.Barbara strugglestocontroltheROARINGworm. Shepullson his earsandlooksaroundforBeetleJuice. Seeing him,she spurstheWormafterBeetleJuice.

ANGLE

BeetleJuicestruggles,tryingtorunfromtheworm. But Barbaraandthewormoutmaneuverhim,cornerhim, and whenthewormreacheshim,he openshishungry mouthand gulpsBetelgeuseinonemouthful.

TB

ANGLE

Barbaraleapsoff,as theSandWormcontinuesdown throughthefloorboardsofthehouse

Betelgeuseisgone. Adamisback tofullsize. CharlesandDeliaare nolongerheldby thesculptures. Lydiarunsback toherfamilyand AdamandBarbara. The dustsettles.

ON HOLE- JUNO

peersintothe room. Shepullsthewhoresthroughthe hole.

FADEOUT.

FADEIN:

BIRDSSING. Erniepolishesthelion. OldBillsleeps. Peoplestroll.

A lovelywhiteboardingschoolwithlong,greenlawn. A BELLRINGS. Girlscomeoutthe frontdoor.Say goodbyes.Lydiawalksout too,carryingbooks.

LydiawalksalongMainStreetof WinterRiver.

Janeis gettingoutofher car-- LittleJanefollows.

TB JanehearsPHONERING frominside,rushesintoanswerit.

Erniepolishesthelion. Lydiapasses.

He looksaround,surprised.

Janescreamsintothe phone.

CAMERAEXPLORESarow ofphotographsofhousesfor sale.

ON PHOTOGRAPH--oftheold Maitlandhouse.Itis delapidatedandhaunted-looking.Alegendreads: Fixer-Upper'sSpecial."

BACKTO JANE-- sheisfrustrated.

LittleJaneis nowat theXeroxmachine.The NOISE irritatesBigJaneandshe throwsawad ofpaperat LittleJane. LittleJanegetsmadand throwsher papersintothe airandexits.

We recognizethefurniture.It'stheDeetzes'.Delia is onthe phonetoJane. Charlescomesinwiththe WallStreetJournal. Hefidgets,tapshisfingers,as he readsandpourscoffee--all atonce.

Charlespicksupthe extension.

CHARLES

TB Listentome,Jane. We don'twant

anyonelookingatthehouse. We don'twantitpainted,theyard mowed,thetreestrimmed,nordo wewantit termiteinspected. It'snotforsale.

Janelistens. Silent.Thinking.

She hangsup. LooksatCharles.

Charlessmiles.

SOUNDOF SWEEPING--CAMERAeasesup-- Barbarais sweeping.Adam workingonhismodel.

Barbarasmiles.

The KITCHENDOORSLAMS.Barbaralooksupat Adam. Theysmile.

TB

ON LYDIA

Adamfrownsa little.

Lydialooksdowncoyly.

Theygrin withpride.

ON LYDIA--she putsdownherbooks. Loosensher collar,rufflesherhairandwaits.

Lydialooksdown. Lydiabeginstolevitate.

TB She liftsherheadandleavesthe whitebreadworld behind! Ina voiceasdeep andsoulfulasPercy Sledge:

Behindherghostlyimagesofthe footballplayers appearas back-up.

MUSICCONTINUESOVER:

ANGLE

A greatpileof sandwiththewhorehouseinthe middle. AnirritatedBetelgeusecrawlsoutonthe roof. Hatingthesingingheshakeshis fistatthe sky --loseshisfootingandtumblesintothe sand. Terrified,hescramblestogetout.

ON PILE

A movingcoilunderthesandsendshim scurryinginside again. TheSandwormSNAPPINGrightbehindhimashe runsback outonthe roof.

ANGLE

CAMERATILTSUP toseehouse. It istheperfect,New Englandhouse. CAMERAPULLSBACKfromthemodel-- out the windowoftherealhouse.

Outsidetherealhouse-- wesee itis dilapidated,and undeniably,theperfecthauntedhouse.

FADEOUT.