Cupid stupid! That’s the last time I am getting any more fruit off you Tom. Call that fresh? There was more small hairy armoured things in your fruit than there was fruit. You should open a butcher’s, not a grocer’s.
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
SOAP
A screenplay character in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998).
- lines
- 45
- words
- 695
- scenes
- 24
- dialogue
- 7.6%
- avg words / line
- 15
- shortest / longest
- 1 / 186
Sample dialogue
Ladies, if you don’t mind, back to a more important issue. We’ve only got two real guns . . . apparently that’s what they are. We find a good place to hide next door. When it sounds like the right time, we jack in the box, look nasty and stuff, cocoon them in gaffer tape, then we nick their van and swap the gear into a new van and then bring it back here. As long as we are all out of our hiding places quickly, it’s the last thing they’ll expect. If Tom and anyone else feels like kicking them around a bit I am sure it won’t do any harm. A bit of pain never hurt any one (thinking about it) if you know what I mean . . . Also, I think knives are a good idea, you know, big fuck-off shiny knives, the ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good because they don’t make any noise, and the less noise the more we’re likely to use them. That’ll shit ’em up and make us look like pros.
scene 73 — INT. ED AND BACON’S HOUSE - NIGHTWhat’s left over?’
scene 106 — INT. ED AND BACON’S HOUSE - NIGHTI would rather put my money on a three-legged rocking horse. The odds are a hundred to one for a good reason, BACON . . . it won’t win. So where is Ed with all the bright ideas?
scene 46 — INT. JD’ S BAR - DAYHow the fuck should I know?
scene 131 — INT. ED’S CAR (MOVING) - DAYCupid stupid! That’s the last time I am getting any more fruit off you Tom. Call that fresh? There was more small hairy armoured things in your fruit than there was fruit. You should open a butcher’s, not a grocer’s.
scene 6 — INT. RESTAURANT KITCHEN -AFTERNOON
Bookends
What do you mean?