VACATION II
"EUROPEAN VACATION."
REVISED
3rd OCTOBER, '84
EXTREMECLOSE-OP - CLARKW. GRISWALD'S FACE I
We HEARan AUDIENCE CHANTINGin the b.g. aswe gaze on Clark's countenance flashingaphoney smile.
CAMERAPOLLS BACR revealing Clark wearinga pigcostume. CAMERACONTINUES PULLBACK:
Clark is standing in a stylized pig pen along with his wife, ELLEN, and histwo children, seventeen-year-old RUSTY, and sixteen-year-oldAUDREY. All of them are in full-length• pig costumes.The Audience continues their chanting:
NEW ANGLE 3
The Show's host,.KENTCARTER, a jovial,cynical, wise- cracking sort in a tacky three-piece suitroams the midground area of the set between thepigpen the Griswald's inhabit and another empty pig pen opposite it. A garish electronic scoreboard takesup thespace between thetwo pig pens •
(holding up handsfor silence) Well, then, Clark, it'stime for your big decision. Are you going tokeep what's in the poke ••• or are you going to ris~ everything and go for the big prize? Johnny, remind thegood folks what they already have won.
We HEARJOHNNY'S oily, announcer's voice list the prizes. As he does so,we cut toCLOSE-OPS of Ellen,Rusty, and Audrey to seehow much they love the prizes they've already won.
Cont.
CENT Thanks Johnny. Well Clark,you've won some fantastic prizes.,.doyou want tokeep them all, or do you want to risk everythingandbe a pig?
SHOT OF CLARX . 4 thinking it over.
SHOT OF ELLEN RUSTY-AND AUDREY 5
pleading with Clark.
SHOT OF AUDIENCE 6
Frenzied, chanting:
BACK TO WIDESHOT 7
Kent silences the Audience again.Clark leans in to the microphone. The Family is relaxedand happy to havewhat they've seen. They even begin to cross to the prizes.
7 Cont
The family stop dead in their tracks.We can see their disappoint and shock. They are ready to killhim.
Kent crosses to Ellen to offer her histrademark"good luck" kiss. Ellen offershim her cheek. Kent takes her mouth. All of it. Ellen is shocked asKent traces her jawline with his finger ashe kisses her. Clark watcheswith a puzzled smile. Kent moves on to Audreya.~dgives her nearly the same. Finally:
The Audience goes beserk.The Griswalds, including Clark,go pale.
NEW ANGLE 8
The FROEGER FAMILY, Father,Mother,Son and Daughter, trots out from the wings. They, too,are in pig costumes. Two· pretty HOSTESSES,dresses as farmer's daughters,lock the Froegers into their pig pen.They look like the drab,egg- heads they are. Kent crosses to the Pigpen to meetthem. Mrs. Froeger puckers,Kent shakes herhand. The Daughter puckers,Kent shakes her hand too. He also shakeshands with the Father andSon.
Cont.
8 Cont. KENT O.K.now Audience, you remember that last year the Froegers, possessors oftwo Nobel Prizes, and sixteen degreesbetween them, hada perfect score for twenty- nine consecutive weeks.so, it's them against tonights winners,the Griswalds.
DELETE SCENES 9- II Inc.
SHOT OF GRISWALDS I2
Ready to kill themselves ••• or Clark.
NEW ANGLE I3
,- '-- The Audience goesbananas. Clark is thrilled. The rest of the family is not.
SHOTOF ELECTRONIC BOARD I4
Four categories flash across the board:CHRONOLOGYOFTHE PHAROHS, HISTORYOF EARLY HUNGARIANCABINET MAKING,PHARMOCOLOGY,THE GEOGRAPHYOF THE BRAIN.
SHOT OF GRISWALDS IS
They look at the board with dread.
DELETESCENES I6 - 20 inc.'
DELETE SCENE2I
NEW ANGLE 22
Kent points to the board.
SHOTO~ GRISWALDS 23
Dying again. The tension is too great.Sweat is running off Clark's forehead.
WIDE SHOT - STAGE 24
Cont.
24 Cont.
TheMUSIC starts. The Audience is hushed.The clock ticks against total silence.
SHOTOF FROEGER FAMILY 25
They aresmiling. They know the answer.
SHOTOF GRISWALDS 26
Tense. Nervous. 'Clark and Ellenlook at each other helplessly, Rusty is blank. Audrey is thinking. The clock ticks out. No one hasa clue, until suddenly we HEARAudrey's barely audible voice.
WIDESHOT - STAGE 27
Kent isdumbfounded. He looks at the cardin his hand.
The scoreboard explodes with lightsand buzzers. Music comes up. Rusty and Audrey scream andjump upand down. Ellen embraces Clark. Kent signals for the Hostesses
him while the audience cheers. Kent grabs Ellen,who spontaneously throws hera:rmsaroundhi.~.Kent plants his hands on her ass as shejumps up anddown in his a:rms. Clark and Audrey grab handsand jump upand down, too.
THE CAMERA MOVESIN on Clark whoi'ssmiling like an idiot, As the description is givenwe CUT to variousSLIDES which illustrate the locationsand theaccommodations. In the slides, everything is first rate and very nice.
Cont.
27 Cont JOHNNY'SVOICE {o.s.) That's right ••• we'll fly the whole family on Boeing jets toLondon England, where you'll start off on a two week vacation extravaganza you'll never forget. While in London, you'll stay in deluxeaccommodations at the sumptuous Royal Imperial Windsor Lancaster, StratfordArms Court Hotel and Inn,only stepsfrom Picadilly Circus ••• and then it'son to France ••• where you'll stay at the newly renovated•••
{FADE UNDERSCENE IN BACK YARD -SC. 28)
Marie Antoinette Hotel,a favorite ~topping place ofE=ope's elite ••• Then it'sl\ctung! On to Germany, where you'll stopand enjoy a fine mean at Oskarson the Ruher ••• and dance to thegay music of Esther and the Black Forest Girls ••• then it's aufweidersehn and on to •••
The Griswalds are havinga barbeque. Clarkis at the outdoor grill with Ellen, putting the last of the coals into the pit. The kids are seated at the table.Rusty is talking intoa phone. Audrey is in.the arms of her boyfriend,Jack,a good-looking kind ofsmarmy kid. They are entwined ina hot kiss. A table cloth lays ina heap on the table,along witha pile of knives,forks and cups.
Clarki~ applying the lighterflu+d on to the coals.
Cont.
28 Cont.
Clark squeeze~ ina huge squirt of fluid. Ellen is looking ·at Audrey and Jack. Clark looks up too.
He glances over to Audreyand Jack. They've entwined again, gazing soulfully into each other's eyes.
He walks to the house.
ELLEN
She walks closer to the grill,squeezes thecanand hits it witha lot of lighter fluid.
Cont.
Rusty is off the phone. He walksby the fire, picksup the can and squeezes in an extra-large dose of fluid, then another. Clark comes in from the kitchen with the burgers. He squeezes on more fluid,then puts on the burgers.
Clark strikesa match.
He nods andputs in some more,and drops the match onto the coals, immediately an eight footflame roars into the sky, engulfing the hamburgers.
The familyand Jack are seated around the backyard table.A package of American sheese ison the tableand they're eating the cheese on hamburger buns,except Audrey who is just munching ona piece of cheese. Clark's face is blackfrom the fire. His hair is singed.
cont.
II 28 A Cont.
Audrey stands up. Still holding Jack's hand.
Cont.
Everyone vocally agrees.
He hands everyonea slip of paper.
Everyone, save Jack, writesa nameon the ballo~. They fold itand hand it back to Clark.
Cont.
Ellen opens each ballot and reads. Clark writes asshe reads.
They all turn to Audrey.
I4
Clark entersSHOT carryinga video-tape camera on his shoulder ashe maneuversdown the hallway. He stops in front of Rusty'sroom and opens the door.
Rusty is at his desk looking atabook on European culture. He is startled to see his fathercoming into the room with the video-pack.Rusty closes thebook quickly.
CLARl< Wave, Rusty. I'm just trying out thisnew video camera I got for the trip. Pretty neat,huh?
Rusty reluctantly waves at the camera.
Clark backs out of theroorniRusty quicklyopens the book again. CAMERAMOVES IN to reveala sex magazine article titles"Weird Sex•,between the pages of the book.
IS
There are pictures of Jackeverywhere. The lights are off. Audrey is under the covers, talking.
The door opens as ClarkENTERS with the video camera and points it at thelump in the bed.
C'mon, Audrey ••• off the~hone.,. you've said your goodbyes to Jack••• big trip tomorrow.
Audrey sticks her head outfrom under the blankets.
(,
Clark exits theroom, always keeping hiseye in the camera. Audrey sighs. She lifts the covers and looks underthem.
Ellen is stepping out of theshower asClark enters with the videocamera. She isembarrassed. She trys to cover herself,then grabsa towel.
Cont.
I6
32 Cont.
Ellen decides what the hell.She st.arts to improvisea- "lady in theshower" scene witha towel.
I7
32 Cont.I ELLEN (coyly) Clark•••
She singssong, and dances sexily. Clark keeps shooting with the camera while beckoning with his finger for Ellen to followhim into the bedroom. Ellen, still singingand· being provocative,follows Clark into their bedroom.Clark keeps shooting Ellen as she crosses to the bedand reclines on it, strikinga sexy pose asshe sings.
SHOTTHROUGH VIDEOCAMERALENS 33
as Clark would see it looking through the lens.The CAMERA moves into an ECUof Ellen's face. She looks incredibly sexy. we BEAR a gutteral responsefrom Clark. he's into it.
BACK TO SHOT 34
Clark, now standing next to the bed,puts the videocarnera on. the nightabl eso it isaiming at Ellen,~:hoslowl!'stops singing, then he leans overand gives hera very tender kiss. She grabs him.
CLOSE UP -VIDEOCAMERA 35
The tape is running.
I3
BACK TO SHOT 36
They're still kissing;and thensome.
They continue makinglove asCAMERA pans over to the running videocamera.
An establishing SHOT of O'Hare.
As it takes off.
The Griswalds arecrammed into four seats across.Clark
is at the window. Next to him is Ellen,then Audrey and Rusty on the aisle. Clark is fiddling witha pocket
translator.
Cont.
Clark pushes the button. The computer repeatswhat Clark said, but with an Italian accent.
Ellen gives Clarka look. He examines thecomputer more closely.
He puts away thecomputer andtakes out some printeditinerary and schedules. He hands them out to the Family.
Cont.
39 Cont.I
RO~Y I'rn'jOin<'!tol.:!.1':ethis c:enocracystuff.
A stewardess pushing the refreshment cart stops at their row.
cont.
2I 39 Cont. 2
Everyone but Clark shakes his head.
The stewardesshands Clark the drinkand moves on.
SHOTOF ELLEN 40
She is smiling,relaxed. She snuggles up to Clark and puts her headon his shoulder. (She is havinga reverie) A smile plays across her face.
A grandand elegant reception is being given at the Queen's Palace. CAMERA PANS a reception linestretchingup to a point where theQUEEN herself is standing alongside LADY DI. (NOTE: We will use celebrity look-a-likes wherewe can.) A CONSUL announces thenames of the guests to a very boredQueen Elizabeth.
TheDUKE bows and theDUCHESS curtseys in frontof the Queenwho is stiflinga yawn. Ladi Di looks just as bored. Only Prince Charles smiles throughout.
Again,the ritual bowis delivered. This brings a big yawnfrom the Queenand Lady Di. Finally,the Queen spots Ellenand Clark as the next couple in line.Her face lightsup.
Cont.
4I Cont.
The Queen throwsopen her axmsand embraces Clark. Lady Di is giving Clark the once over.
Ellen is pleased with Clark's response. He dancesaway with Ellen. Lady Di grabs his legand hangs on, cryinghy~terically. Charles keeps smiling.
BACKSHOT OF ELLEN 42
sleeping. She moves closer to Clark.CAMERA PANS over to Rusty,also asleep,wearing headphones ashe listens to stereoon his seat console.
RUSTY'SDREAM ( TO COME) 43
Musical number tobe choreographed by Jillian Lynn. "Rusty entersa punk nightclub,where he is beseigedby beautiful girls. Dancin~.
BACKTO RUSTY 44
A huge, satisified smileon his face. CAMERAPANS to Audrey, her eyes also closed.
MUSICUP: Scarey, ominous.
Audrey is seated attileend ofa long table,eating pasta. Herarms grow fatter. She keeps eating. Waiters continue tocarry fattening European food. She looksho=ified but keeps eating. Her cheeksblow up, her thighsgrow fatter. They start to bring on the deserts. She can't stop herself from eating. Buttonson her blouse popopen.
SHOTOF AODREY 46
tossingher head wildly asshe sleeps. CAMERA PANS TO Clark.
SHOT OF CLARK 47
dreaming some wonderfulthi_ng that has broughtasmile to his face.
MUSIC OP: "TheSound of Music"
through filtered sunlight comes dancingand singing over a hill and intoCAMERA, the Trapp Family? No, it's the Griswalds and they are having the best timeany family ever had in Europe. They are all wearing lederhosen and dirndles as they prance hand in hand across the screen. CAMERAMOVES into a close up of Clark's smiling face-.
Cont.
:.!5
The plane landsand taxis upto the te:rminal.
A taxi cruisesdown a narrow lane.
SHOTOF ADDRESS SIGN SI
It reads8 Pennychip Lane. The taxi stops.
SHOTOF CLARK 52
The Royal ImperialWindsor Lancaster, StratfordA:rmsCourt Hoteland Inn is not quite the beauty as described in the pamphlet. It might have been,but obviously that was was at least a hundredand fifty yearsago.
The Driver hops outand opens the back door. Clark hops out and accidentally raps the cab driver in the groin with his bag. Among themany items they are carrying,are "Pig in A Poke" tote bags.
TAXI IllRIVER Oof!
He is followed in rapid order by Ellen,Audrey and Rusty. Each of them,slams into the driver with another piece of luggage, each hittinghim in exactly thesame place. The driver is doubled over as Clark opens his handand gives him a shilling.
Cont.
2b 53 Cont.
They all head into the hotel.
A sloppy middle aged man,MR.HJU,SEY, is. engrossed in aT.V. Showon rna.kin<Jcheese.The Griswaldstramp in and drop theirluggage.
In avecy strong·Cockney accent,Mr. Halsey explains that they're all bookedup but he hasa mate whohas another hotel,unless they'd like to paya little more for the Royal Suite. Clark (andany other American}doesn't know whathe's talking about. He pulls out his pocket translator
Ellen fishesthrough her purseand pulls outsome paper.
Cont.
54 Cont. Mr. Halsey looks inquisitively atthem. Clark and the kids try to help by making pig's facesand going"oink, oink" for Mr.Halsey. Elie.~is embarrassed.
His tiny, elderly Mother starts to carry theluggage.
They followMr. Halsey out of thelobby.
It's a tinyroom with barely enough space for Ellen and Clark to tu= around. What little spacetheJ:eis, isnow taken up by all theluggage. Ellen reads the.hotel brochure.
Cl1'1:-:klie'!c~mnnthe bedMd sinks do~m in the mattress so that only his nose isshowing. CLARK The bed is niceand soft.
Cont.
55 Cont.
Ellen opensa door. It's a shallow closet. Clark strugglesup frcm the bed.
Be opens a door and amurphy bed fallson his head.
CLARl< Hmmm••• maybe not.
Audrey is tapinga picture of Jackto the wall. PULLBACK to reveal that the whole wall is covered with photos of Jack. Rusty is fiddling with the T.V.
28A
56 Cont.
He looks at the T.V.with dreadand disbelief.
As small as the restof the rooms. Clark, in pajamas is brushing his teeth. Ellen is relaxing witha bubble bath. She hasa wash cloth over her eyes.
Cont.
Clarkfinishes brusing his teeth. He whistles 57 Cont a SONG ashe gathers his belongings. As he leavesa MALE GUEST entersand starts to whistle the same song. He looks in the bathtuband is delighted to seeE1len. He starts to washup while whistling.
Clarkcheerfully walksdown the hall. He getsconfused by the doors withoutnumbers and opensa few in to wrong rooms.
Then he triesa doorwhich is stuck. He pushes harder. Still nothing. He backs offa few steps, lowers his shoulder and runs at the door. It opens ashe hits it.
The Halseys are still watchingTV as Clarkcomes crashing through the door,which openson to the lobby. Clark tries tobe nonchalant, even though he's standing there in his pajamas.
ClarkEXITS. The Halseyslook at each other and shrug.
Clarkenters the darkbedroom.
Heclimbs in to bed.
SHOT OF WOMAN INBED 6I It isn't Ellen. It's anotherHOTELGUEST. Clark snugglesup to the Woman, who is turnedaway_from him. The Woman is alai:medbut silent.
Clark nibbles on the woman's ear.
The= stares at her.
He is happily surprised.
SHOT OF CLARKAND THE WOMAN 63 He snuggles her.
Something isn't right.
The Male Guest finishes with his teeth.
The man starts to peel off hispajama top.
Ellen peels the wash cloth off her eyes.She sinksdown in the tub, tryingto cover herself. The confused man hurriedly exits.
Clark and theWoman are frozen in their positions.
Cont.
3I WOMAN GUEST 65 Cont. No.
He tries to moveaway. She won't let him go.
He fights hisway out ofthe bed and runs out.
( Clark crashes in. \..
As Clarkcomes back inEllen rushes downt."lehall to him. They hug each other.
66 Cont.
Still in a slight panic,Clark and Ellen enterwhat they believe to be their room.
It's pitch dark. We HEAR the springs of thebed as Clark and Ellen get intoit. A moment's silence,then:
A yellow,four door English-type Sedan is right in front of the hotel.
Hewaves key.
Clark and the Familyjump in. Clark is inwhat he thinks is the driver's seat, but, of course, it being Great Britain, the steering wheel'son the other side.
He sticks the key into the ignition that's not there and grabs the empty airwhere the steering wheel's supposed to be.
Clarkand Ellen get out of thecar and trade places.
As clark and Ellen settleinto their seats. Clark starts up the little beauty and automatically uses his left hand to signal that he's pulling out,butsinceEllen is on his left,she getsa light smack in the face.
Clark now sticks out his right hand ashe stepson the gas and pullsinto the street.
The Griswalds areon the road for afew yards when it becomes very apparent that something is amiss.
I
Another car comingat them swerves to get out of theway, but Clark is also swerving,which causes Clark to hit the other car. He rips the fender completely off.Both cars come toa halt.
NEW ANGLE 73
As Clark and the otherDRIVER roll down their windows to talk to each other. In the b.g.we HEAR CARS HONKING, etc. Unlike an American driver,the Englishman is very understanding and polite.
ENGLISH!"l!".IVE~ Oh no trouble. Please don't mention it. It's fine. Ihad a scratch on that fenderanyway. Now I'll havea reason toget it fixed.
Clark and the English Driverexchangelicens~s.
73 Cont. ENGLISH DRIVER Please, don't worry.In fact Ishould thank you •••
Licenses re-exchanged,the English Driver drives off as Clark puts the car in gear again.
CRASH! Clark hasgone about two feet before managinga not- ver-serious "head-on" with yet anotherENGLISHDRIVER.
NEW ANGLE 7 4 . Steam rises from the other car's radiator.The bumper falls off.
Clark gets out of his car,license in hand as theSecond English Driver gets out of his car as well.This guymakes the First Driver seem rude.
SECONDENGLISH DRIVER
(He picksup the bumper and puts it underonearm)
•Tsk tsk ••• looks likewe'Vii!hada bit of arun in. Rotten iuck.
Ellen and the Kidswatch as Clark and the Driver exchange licenses,laugh good naturedly atsome remark,and the Second Driver gives Clarka pat onthe back as he sendshim back to his car.
Clark drives off.
JS
The same street as Clark steers the car towardsa corner. Approaching the intersection,Clark puts hishand out to signal and happens to knockaBIKE RIDER flat off his BICYCLE.
The Biker slowly gets to his feet,awan smile on his face, but alsosome blood; His clothes are also badly torn, his knee scrapedand bloodied,but still he'svery polite. Clark and Ellen rush out of the car.
ELLE~! Oh my god letme help you!
She tries to dress hiswounds witha "wash and dri".
Clarktrys to give the Biker money. He refuses it.
E~"N Clark,ask him how to get to the hotel.
cont.
77 Cont.
He raises hisa:rmto point and globs ofblood roll down his body.
He limps off, dragging one leg.
TheBike Rider waves off Clark's offer.He slowly picksup the bike which is bent almost in half.
NEW ANGLE 78
Clark drivesdown to the corner andmakes a left turn into aheavily congested traffic circle.
CAMERAFOLLOWS the Yellow Rental as Clark gets caught up in theflow of the fast-movingtraffic.
TheYellow Car makesa complete circle,.
We see that the Car is completely blockedby theheavy traffic. Again it has togo around the circle.
The Yellow car is still going around in circles.Traf!ic is still very heavy.
,. Cont.
It is pouringon the hotel sign.Nobody is on the streets.
We find the Griswalds standing in thelobby looking out the window as rain poursdown. They are all dressed in rain gear.
Clark getstham all out the door. ·CAMERAHOLDSon door a beat. The door opens and the completely soaked Griswalds 'trudge back inside. CLARK ••• so it'sunanimous,then. We wait for therain to stop.
ROOM- DAY 82 A
There issnow on the T.V.and Rusty and Audrey sing T.V. commercial jingles to cheer themselvesup.Audrey is lying in bed withahead shot of Jack and pillows stuffed under the covers.
She starts to cry.
RUSTY 82A Cont. Well why don't you callhim?
She looks through the phone pamphlet.
She punches a numberon the phone.
She finishes dialingand waits. He answers.
Rusty reacts like aguy who hates mushy stuff. He puts his
wallananon so that he won't have to listen.
DELETE SCENES83 and 84
The window. The rain is thick; The fog thicker. A distraught Clark and Ellen stare vacantly out the window.
Cont.
85 Cont.
Ellen is delighted she's finally gothim excited.
Clark joins her. They start to disrobe when Clark senses something. He sits up and points to thewindow. The rain has stopped and the sun is starting to peek through.
Clark getsup and starts dressing. He's all excited. Ellen is left hanging.
DELETESCENES 86 - 88
4I
* P A G E* * D E LE T E D *
SCENES89 - 9I - DRIVE-BYSWITH V.O.
RUSTY What's that old building over there Dad?
They driveby.
They passsome people with very punk hairdos.
Theygo by the Speaker's Corner.
An establishing shotasthe GriswaldsENTER FRAME and head for the entrance.
Clark approaches aTICKET SELLER sitting ona bench.
Rusty and Audrey exchange an embarrassed look.
Audrey and Rusty look at each other •.
NEW ANGLE 94
The Griswaldswanderamong the variouswax exhibits. Each one portrayingsomete=ible crime. Rusty and Audrey are laughingand enjoying the place. They pass an exhibit depictinga man being boiled in oil.
A skeleton is hanging ina body sized cage. The family approaches.
She giveshim a look. They move on.
An ELDERLYCOOPLE walk through the museum and stop ata scene depicting the guillotine.There isno wax model i.'l the guillotine at the moment.The Elderly Man suddenly clutcheshis chest and collapses to the floor next to the guillotine. The Elderly Womanbends overand beats on his chesttrying to revive him. Unableto do so, she removesa cape from one of the wax models,and covers the man to keep him warm while shei:ushesout of the scene in search of help.
NEW ANGLE
The Griswalds are now approaching the guillotine tableaux. They see the Elderly Genton the floor.
Clark bends over and grabs the ElderlyMan under the shoulders ~inking it's awax dummy.
Cont.
96Cont.
No, no, Ellen. We're American tourists. We don't want people to thinkwe have no respect forart. (he givesa tug) Heavy son ofa bitch.
Rusty notices that the guillotine isempty,
Rtl'STY It must've~lipped out of the guillotine,Dad.
I believe you're right,Russ.
After much difficulty,Clark manages to drag theOldMan into the tableauand lay him over the guillotine so his head rests in the notch,
Clark starts to•mold' the Old Man's face intoa more agreeable expression. Finally satisfied,Clark steps back to admire his work.
The Griswalds admire Clark'swork. Clark begins to check our how the guillotine works.He handles the controlthat releases the blade. Nothing happens. Be pulls on it; still nothing. It's stuck. In the meantime,the Elderly Lady returns with severalMtl'SEUMOFFICIALS.She points to the spot on the floor where she last left her husband. The Officials exchangea look. The Old Lady is confused. Finally she sees her husband in the Guillotine and points him out to thedismay of the Museum Officials just as Clark and the Family move off.The Woman and the Officials remcve thema.n·fromthe guillotine just as the blade falls from Clark's playingwith the controls. Itstrikes the base with aloud frighteningand ominous thud.
,._
DELETE SCENES97 - IO4
Clark and theFamily drag theirluggage downthe stairs to the lobby,as a new GUEST checks in and goes upstairs.
AtrDREY ThankGod I don't have to eat any more English food. I feel likea blimp. · Jack won 't look atme.
cont.
IOS Cont.
Clark is getting annoyed atMr.Halsey who is still adding up the bill.
Audrey starts to lookscaredand anxious. In the background Mr.Halsey's Mum, struggling• asshe carriesasteamer trunk on her back up the stairs.
The yellow rental car speeds along the road.
EU....~ Audrey, your father didn't mean what he said.
Cont.
I06 Cont. AUDREY (sobbing) Yes he did.
Rusty is listening to hiswalkmanso he yellswhen he speaks.1
He continues his dialogueon American history,confusing the family.
Cont.
P.o.v. SHOT -STONEHENGE IOS
BACK TOCAR INT. I09
A LONG SHOT establishes thefamous structure. The yellow car is parked near one of the supports.Clark and the' family are walkingthrough Stonehenge,Clark shootingsome video-tape. He also holdsa little book which obviously he has looked at inreference to Stonehenge.
Cont.
49 (A)
IIO Cont.
Rusty poses.
Rusty does. Audrey looks ata horizontal slab.
Ellen goes toc.lark.
so
IIO Cont.I
Everyone piles back in the car.Clark starts it up.
Clark backs the yellow car up.
SHOT II2
The back bumper barely nicksone of the stonecolumns.
BACK TO SHOT II3
The yellow car pullsaway and drivesoff. Th~ bump causes the column to start to totter,then it falls onto the next column,creating a domino effect until the entire Stonehenge is laying in a•pileofrubble and dust.
( \. STOCK SHOT OF PARISFROM THE SKY
STOCK SHOT OFPLANE landin~.
DELETE SCENE IIS
OVERHEAD SHOT follows the Griswaldsnow drivinga blue rental car crossinga bridge.
Cont.
SI
II6 Cont.
The blue car is parked nearby.Clark is posing the family at the base of the fountain,taking -ictures again with the videocamera. A smallCROWD is watching the production. Ellen, Rusty and Audrey are embarrassedby Clark's insistence on posing them.
Cont.
117 Cont.
Clark thistime accompanies his requestwith gestures showing theMan how to use the camera. The Man nods in understanding and takesthe video camerafrom Clark,who now joins theFamily in front ofthe fountain. TheMan with the cameragestures for Clark and theFamilyto remove theirshoes and stand in the water. Clark thinks it's a great ideaand convinces the rest. They reluctantly remove theirshoes and step into the fountain,Clark and Rusty rolling up their pants totheirknees. The Man with thecamera nods his approval,then grabsall their shcesand takes off downthe street with the camera. Clark is in no position to give chase.Ellen, Rusty and Audrey stand open mouthed.
She does. a briefpantomime of hertoweland shower bit to get her point across.
...
At the front deskan affectionate,YOUNG, AMERICANCOUPLE is checking in.
They smileat each other and start to make out as theDESK CLERK looks fort_heir reservation.
The Griswalds enter,schlepping theirown luggage. Ellen notices the couple.
The Garlands glance over at theGriswald~.
Rusty and Audreylook disgusted at being called "children". Rusty makesa negative snorting sound.
Cont.
·The Garlands start tomakeout again. Pg. 54 DESK CLERK Mr. Garland. II8 Cont. No replyfrom lovers. DESK CLERK Mr. Garland! They break fora moment. DESK CLERK You're inroom four eighteen,and please hurry.
TheGarlands take their keyand rush to.the elevator.
Bonjour.
He consults his pocket computer. He speaks withan American accent.
Clark and the kidsmake their "Pig" facesand "oink,Oink". In the b.g. the Garlands cannot wait another moment for the elevator so they runup the stairs. '
Clark gives him the passports. C.C.PASSPORTS - Clark looks unintelligent, Ellen looks slutty,Audreylooks heavy,and Rusty looks likehe's on heroin. The Desk Clerk looks at the pictures and starts chuckling to himself.Eventually,he can't help himself andhe laughs out loud. He shows the pictures to ANOTHERCLER.TCandthey talk aboutthem in French. In their excitement to share thejoke,they also showthe passports to theCASHIER, and somePEOPLE INTHE ,LOBBY. Everyone has a good laugh at.the Griswald's expense.
nrr. PARIS HOTELROOM - DAY II9
The Bellhop opens the door and enters theroom.The Griswalds follow, carrying all their luggage.The Bellhop points.
They put down the luggage.The Bellhop holds out hishand for a tip.
Clark hands the Bellhopa franc. The Bellhop giveshim a look of disdainand leaves.
II9 Cont.
It's anotherroom the size of a closet. Clark eyes the bed.
He opens the curtains to see Paris.His P.O.V.of a very close, ugly building.
CLA.~ It's quaint. Isn't it? Europe is quaint.
She EXITS theroom. Clark removes his shoesand gives the bed a light tap. He leaps onto the bed,expecting to sink into tl:!esame sort of soft mattress he experienced in London. No such luck. The mattress doesn't give an inch as Clark lands witha dull thud and then rolls off thebed in pain. Ellen returns with Rusty. They do not see Clark because he's lyingon the flooron the far side of the bed.
The Family cross theroom to where Clark is still lying on the on the floor.
Cont.
II9 Cont.I CLARK Louder! Who are we?
Clark remainson the floor.
·RUSTY Yeah, Paris sucks. They steal your cam.era..c;•••
Rusty does. Clarkopens a suitcaseand pulls out four berets.
Clark pulls hison. His name is stitched across the front of the beret. So are the rest of the Family's names on theirs.
Cont.
II9 Cont.2
Audrey tries her's on and sees that she looksgood in it.
Ellen knows how much this will mean to Clark.She picks up the beret with hername on it and puts it on. She then picks up Rusty's beret and puts it on his head, pulling _it down over his eyes, affectionately.
A typical outdoor cafe;small tables,rude waiters. CAMERA FINDS the Griswaldscrowded arounda table suitable for one small perspn.They are all wearing the berets with theirnames· sewn across the front. Rusty is embarrassed.
A WAITER passesby in the b.g.bringing abottle of wine to a table with aCOUPLEand their TEN-YEAR-OLD-SON.
Cont.
Clark and Ellen exchangea •look" •
Clark and Ellenlook at what Rusty is referring to,the Young Boy drinking wine at his table.
The Waitercomes over to the table. Clark fiddles with his pocket translator.
Clarkand the Waiter'sFrench is translated inSUBTITLES. Clark's accentleavesmuch to be desired.
Cont.
120 Cont,l CLARK (Wewould like to order lunch,)
The Waitermakes a face at Clark's attempt at French,
(Thekids will havehamburgers and fries.)
The Waiterwalks away. Clark isunaware of what'sbeen said to him.
'- CLARK Nice guy,huh? You see,kids, people appreciate tourists making an effort to speak their language.
6I
The Waiter enters the kitchen.THREE CHEFS are at work preparing the"haute cuisine•from frozen dinnerscooked in microwave ovens. The Waiter yells out his order in French. A chef preparesa plate, emptyinga frozen dinnerfrom it's tray and stickinga paper French flagin it.
The foodand wine have been served and Clark is relaxing with a glass ofwine. He has hiseye on the YoungBoy at the other tablewith his parents. The Young Eoy pickzu~ his glass of wine and drains it. Clark giveshim a look,then drains his glass. The Young Boy fills his glassagainand drains it. Clark does thesame.
NEWANGLE I23 TheBoy, looking at Clark,once more fills his glassand drinksit in one gulp. Clark, not to beout-done, does the same. Rusty notices theTwo girls with.thedog about to go up the Eiffel Tower.The Grandmother hasswept the dog up and iscarrying him. He snaps and growls at people asthey leave.
Clark looks up at thetOP,of theTower. He grows pale.
The Symbolof France rises abovethe city. We seeCla~k's P.o.v. (after his wine contest with theYoungBoy) of the Eiffel Tower. It's wobblyand curvyand then there aretwo of them.
TWO CUTEFRENCH GIRLS are nearby. They arewith a fat, vicious looking old lady,obviously theirGrandmotherand a dog just as ugly and vicious. The girls are throwinga frisbeeand urging the little dog to go after it but he won't budge.Instead he sitsand snarls and yaps. The Girls occasionally look at Rusty in a flirtyway. Rusty gives them his coolestsmile, forgetting the"Rusty• beret on his head.
The Griswalds join the other tourists.
DELETE SCENESI25 - I27 Inc.
Ellen and Audrey get off the elevator and rush to the railing. Rusty is more casual,the better to impress the young girls. Clarkwalks out, still tipsy. He turns and faces thetower instead of the view.
Ellen turnsfrom the railing.
, ELLEN
( Clark?
NEWANGLE I29
Clarkis holding onto theframework for dear life, edging slowly on rubbery legs to the railing.Still woozy, he's facingawayfrom the city view.
Clarkreaches the railing,grips tight and pulls himself up. His back is still to the citv.
ELLE?. Clark,what are you looking at?
Clark slowly turns until he is facingthe view outtowards the city. He smiles.
Cont.
I29 Cont.
NEW ANGLE I29 A
Russ has follouedthe ::>pwagerand theTEENAGE Girls to another -~art of the Tower.
As_"Last Tango In Paris" music plays,
Rusty leanson the railing and looks at the girlscooly.
The Girls look at him and smile.
The dog looks at himand growls.
Rusty smiles at the girls'andraises hiseyebrows questionably.
One Girlwinks at Rusty, then they bothlook at each other and giggle.
The dog barks. One of the girls triesto quiet him, but he tries -to bite her. The Dowager tries to calmhim, but he is even nasty to her.
The Girl looksback at Rusty and suppressesa laugh.
He smiles cockily and tries to brush his hair back with hishand. He~ecomes sick with embarrassment as he feelsthe beret on his head andremembers, all too clearly,that it says "Rusty• on it.
The Girls wh~sper and burst out laughing together.
The dog yaps annoyingly.
Clark sees by the look on Rusty'sface that all is not well with him. Clark putsan a= around Rusty's shoulder.
I29A Cont.
Rusty indicates thetwo cute French Girls standing nearby.The dog is in the old lady'sarms still nippingand barking at everyone. The girls are still giggling at the embarrassed Rusty.
Clark immediately sympathizes with Rusty.
Clark plucks it off Rusty'sheadand sails itove~ the railing likea frisbee.
NEW ANGLE I30
i
The dog leaps out of the woman'sarmsover the railing after the beret. CUT TO shocked reactions on everyone's faces. The OldLady faints.
BACKUP SHOT I30 A Some people are picnicing neara lake.The dog plummets through the air and lands in the water.Heswims to shore andruns'away, still clutching the"Rusty" beret between his teeth.
Ellen, in a bathrobe,stands in front ofa mirror and shyly sneaks looks at what she's goton underneath. Clark yells from the shower. 1
Cont.
NEW ANGLE I32 ·Clarkcomes out in a bathrobe.
She opens her robe revealingverysexylingerie.
She kisses his neck.
DELETE SCENEI32A
DELETEI33 - I34
A big,raucous nightclub along the lines ofa Follies or Le Crazy Horse. There isa floor show goingon featuring a lineof half-naked womenal_ldressed in articles exactly like the lingerie Ellen wastryingto turnClark on with. Clark is enjoying theshow,clapping enthusiastically. Ellen throwshim angry looks,fuming. She glances at her watch impatiently.
The girlscomplete theirnumber with a flourish. Clark explodes with applause.
He sits. As time marches on,Clark relishesand Ellen suffers througha "Women BehindBars" number.
The girls trot.,out againintoplessgym outfits and do sexual aerobics.
He finally notices she's angry.
Cont.
I35 Cont. As Ellen puts on herwrap she notices somethingand stops dead in her tracks.
Clark looks. From hisP.O.V. we seea sexy hooker at a table.
Clark's P.o.v.pans over to reveal Rusty. Clark's face changes from the sophisticated French culture buff to the puritanical American Father.He marches over to Rusty's table. Rusty is lightingtwo cigarettes at once. His Bic lighter flame is too big and he adjusts it ashe chuckles.
He hands the cigarette to the Hooker,and is about to propose a toast when the heavy hand of his Father .lands on his shoulder. A tipsy Rusty looks up, stillincharacter.
Th~n suddenly and horribly,Rusty realizes that he isin deep shit. The cigarette fallsfrom his lip.
The-Griswalds walk through to the elevator.
Cont.
I36 Cont.
·ROSTY Same thing that gave you the same idea.
They enter theroom and Rusty putsaway his key. CLARK You still didn't say whereyou got the money, Rusty squirms. ROSTY I sold my electric train set.
Cont.
This sets Clark off.He grabshim by the collar.
I37 Cont. CLARK You sold your electric train set to get a hooker!
Obviously Clark liked them.,
Clark sitson the bed on a letter
Your daughter, Audrey Griswald."
Cont.
ELLEN I37 Cont.I Clark,she doesn'tknow Paris. We.'ve got to find her.
O.K.
He rushes out.
Audrey is shlepping her belongingsthrough the airport.She is trying to figure out signs in French and getting scared and frustrated. Then she looks at one of her 'Jack' pictures.
Clark's car drivesup to Air France(or whatever)he (double) sets out andruns in.
Audrey looks at her ticketandlooks around.
She starts to leave.Clark spots her and runs over.
Cont.
7I I40 Cont.
C
He sitson the baggage carousel(which is still). She puts her bags and guitar down onitandstand::next to him.
Cont.
Thecarousel slowly starts to move.Clark is looking down anddoesn't notice. He has moved away from herand is essentiallytalkingto himself. She watcheshim and the absurdity of his situationandhis sincerity touches her. Shesmiles.
As he sa:.,..;"Iloveyou"he.looksupand sees a bun looking at him. He's embarrassed. He quickly hops off the carousel.
Hehelps her carry ~er bags out.
They leave. As they exit,we hear Clark say
2.7.9.84- MONTAGE SEQOENCE n I4r As.a:greatnew SONG plays we SEE•.••
EX'l'.NOTI!EDAME DAI I42
The Griswaldsrush.oat of theirr.entedcar andpose for
······..·;·k~!i~~i~5i:~.,s: ,;,:;~;;:.:,~;;_;~~ ··-,-:;They•,h=r.f:to·'.,a:_:·spot..where..Ciark.takes·anotherp.iature.>·..~·.,,;;;.;:;.
'?~~;r~;~i~;~~~~~1~f~1~~~-~;~{:~~~;.._~;~:c·;:,~;~::~·~:~:~::·::..;.'·,:::~;,~~~;t~'t!.~\~t:';::ii} ·:"•.,t.En':..~.DE'LA.CONCORDE'-DAY-·:,·:-..:·,.•.,:.,:;,..,_--:;'"'.'";~'-:I:44·:.....cc_-;-~:!:. -~!.:_..:...::.~·-~~~:;?;!:~-:~~i--(~-:~.:-~~5-;~,-~f~_':q~~·-#~\~·::7~7.u.~~~<--.;-~-:~-~i:/.·i<;~_-·?~::-z:·-~;:£t~-..:·:'-r;~~:!~>!~~;- ••'·...·..;•,.:·.:·._:-..,As.'.the-Familyposes.iti'_frontof·a£ountain,the.Temp1e·.~~:;.:/JF· ,,-_;,·· ·..:·~_~,~Made.l.aine..anOdelesque,·anothel:.fountainwith-the-.Eif£d:,.'>·:;.'Ji!
I ·,;•'..·,~•.Towerbehindit.:ancia.gold.fence··.ntha·Ge"da:crne·infront,-.:-·:::i-'.½' ··-.-·--._.......-.· · -· · - · -""~rd ~,.:,:->''-·i•':weuiotice·.that-their:poltinc;rbe=es-less.inspuedand.they:·~:/:~~-~
,:-?1~1ftlfl~!!if~;~:1~~lfg74\ll _(··...:.,,.:·."·,,,·~poseswith:a,_naked..ladystatuerbut:~en:,_andAudrey_,,.,~·"-'·
:fftirfil&r~t&l~J~if~l.rt •.-,':'.,:c;::-;-.·:0j'",\,Jt.'.\TT:!'!??'.)'iq::tas_her:)1:igh;h~~h~f;!et-are1i:fit1ng:-hi=-....:~;'.!~μ.,,
~~~,~JRf«~S~~i~:Q~~~?~~~1~. ~.,..· ·,,...:;:-,:-::.-:~".Clark:;cuns.up.'ana:·.sets·:his.shot;:.'wavingthemover.•.ltudrey;:··:,;,:"_.::;·~ ·.¥.:,-_.:,~:....~~,.\;-•:§'~~"'Rlisty.··an:&-E::μen.drag.·thems,.l.vesoverlikethe·walla.ng:dead~-~"i;;f::;'.·
,,..•.;.;;-···::":~...,~-::,c;:c:t~~-'<"'',....,.·-·-·~-.....-t•,~-=k·r_.........,,,....,...,..en...,~·-.,..--...u..th.e ·~a.--.r.·~-~.....-.~-~~-ontcfthe...:•-ld,....,...,1·p·,_._·..:·:-;;;,,;.....,__.,_• :~~~,:,:;_:,·~i':i~~;~~~-foremostmuseitm~·:ClaJ:k·u:.a.:.brmdleofenergy&.Ellenand·~~·.::'·
;;_~t··,·1t7tt -..;__.;--?=1:
_,
MONTAGE SEQUENCE 73 I4I As a greatnew SONG playswe SEE •••
The Griswalds rush out of their rented carand pose for Clark to takea !'Olaroidpicture.
They hurry to a spot where Clark takes another picture.
As the Family poses in front of a fountain,theTemple Madelaine an Odelesque,another fountain with the Eiffel Towerbehind it and a gold fence withaGenda=e in front, we notice that theirposing becomes less inspiredand they are not as enthusiastic.
• Rusty poses witha naked lady statue,but Ellen and Audrey sit it out.
Clark is still energetic but the family is definitely tired.
Ellen holds her high heels andherfeet are killing her.
C
Clark runs up and sets his shot,wavingthem over. Audrey, Rusty and Ellen drag themselves over likethewalkingdearl.
Clark, Ellen and the Kids are in front of the world's foremostmuseum. Clark isa bundle of energy, Ellen and the kids are dragging.
Cont.
I45 Cont.
Clark takes off ina rush for the entrance.The Family exchange wearylooks.
In a STOP-MOTIONSEQUENCEwe will see the Griswalds tour the Louvre. As our foursome continuesweCUT to pictures on the wall which start to bombard them untilwe only see veryQOICX CUTS of pictures.
NEW ANGLE I47
Clark hurriesdown aseemingly endless gallery. The Family struggles to keep up withhim. He comments at high speed.
Fabulous, incredible, beautiful pallette, fantastic brushstrokes, vibrant colors, stupendous lighting.
The Garlandsare trying to eat breakfast while holding hands and kissing. ·
The Griswaldslimp into thedining room and sit. Audrey is missing.
ELLEN
\
The Left Ejankis charming.
He turns back to his family.
Cont.
CLARK I48 Cont. Boy, whata waste. We've seen ten times as much as they have.
Ellenraises an eyebrow.
The Garlands are into someheavymaking out. A WAITER comes over to the Griswalds.
Audrey comes over and sits down.
The Waiter leaves. Audrey opens a letter.
Audrey reads her letter.We HEARJack's voice over.
Cont.
I48 Cont. AUDREY THAT BITCH!
NEW ANGLE I49
Audrey's outburstdraws looksfrom everyonein the room.
She continues reading.
Audrey looks suspicious.
Clark and Ellen exchange alook.
In the b.g.the Garlands have disappeared under thetable.
Audrey bursts into tearsandieaves the room.
DELETESCENES ISO -ISS inc. 78
Out inWine Country; huge expanses of grape fieldsand stately mansions. The blue rentalcarwith the Griswalds ba=els along.
Audrey nods weakly.
The cardrives past a signthat says "BATTENBERG"and entersa quaint village.
DELETESCENES ISB - I69 inc.
Pg. 78 (Al
The car travelsdown the streets.
It reads:DIPPLESTRASSE
BACK TO SHOT I73
•s-.,.___-,__··-·····~-----------~---~-,.,.-~-____,,___"'"
* ~AGES 79- 83 INCLUSIVE DELETED *
(
NEW ANGLE 174
They continue down thestreet. Someof the homes have 111mbars. Others areunmarked. Clark stops in frontof a small house and gets outof the car. The Family also get out and followhim to the frontdoor.
The door chimessound and ahefty GERMAN COOPLEcross to the frontdoor and open it. Clark is standingon their doorstep.
CLOSE OPON COOPLE 176
They lookat each other with alarm. ~hey slam the door in Clark'sface.
NEW ANGLE 177
They all crossto the house next door. The NumberSix is on theside of the door.,ay.V,ines are growing around the doorway as well. Clark getsa smile,
Heknocks on the door.
A Couple in their 60's,JOACHIM andHELGA SPRITZ waddle to the front door. Joachim pulls open the heavenwooden door and sees the Griswaldson the porch.
Helga and Joachim look at eachotherwith bewilderment,
RUSTY
Cont,
I78 Cont. Clark entersand slaps Joachimon the back.
He chuckles at hisown joke.
\
As the door closes,a vine fallsdown, revealing a•ene• in front of the •six".
~e Spritzs' talk amongst themselvesinGerman,trying to find the icgicalsolution to who these people are.
Cont.
ISO Cont.
EU.:.:.""N Just like in Grandma's pictures. It's so quaint.
,- \
Everyone iseating dinner. Joach.imand Helga are speakingin German,each accusing the other of being connected to the Griswalds. Clark and Ellenare showingJoach.imsnapshots. Audrey is confiding inHelga,and Rusty eats and listens to hiswalkman, every now andthen singingout a phrase froma song.
Joachim looks at it blankly.He picks up his pipe and Rusty lightsit for h.im.
Cont.
86CA) I8ICont
Joachim shrugs with confusion. Uark translates this as agreement.
ANGLE ON ACDREYAND HELGA
Helga shakes her headw:i,thbafflement.
I
·c~ Audrey,what are you talking about?
Elelga putsa blanketand pillow on thecouch for Audrey to sleep on. Audrey reaches out and gives hera goodnight kiss.
Clark has beenwatching them with pride. He picksa basin up off the floor,fills it with water,and uses it to brush his teeth.
Rusty walks in witha basin identical to theone Clark is brushing his teeth in.
Clark reacts to the bedpan,then violently spits out all the toothpaste •
Clark, Ellenand the kids kissand hug theS?ritz's as they sadly take their leave.
Theyclimb into the car.
Cont.
I83 Cont. CLARK Bye! we had a greattime. We'll be sure to write.
'l'heydrive off.Joachim and Helgalook at each other. Finally we see SUBTITLES of what they're saying.
EXT• FURTHEROOWN THE STREET -DAY 1:85
AnELDERLY COUPLE walk by.
Thecar cruises down the narrow streets until it arrives atan area festively decorated foran Oktoberfest celebration.The square is filled with people dressed in native costumes for the
'· occasion.
Cont.
I86 Cont.
Rusty happens to spotan incredibly pretty youngGERMANGIRL walking past the car. She smiles at Rusty.
There are none. Clark pulls thecar over to the side of the road and they all get out.
Audrey and Clark are eating local delicacies.Ellen is buyinghandicrafts. An "oom pahpah•Iband is playing, veryGe:cnanlooking characters,young and old are having fun. A stage is set up wheresome men aredoing traditional dances of the area.
·----------- -------- --- --- _______.,---~-
Meanwhile,Ru.stywalks around with hiswalkman,looking for the Ge=an Girl. We hear therock music in his head,and it provides a contrast to the old world visualsaroundhim.
He finally spots the girl behind the counter ofabooth that sells some sort of food.He stops dead inhis tracks, shuts off his tape deck,and goes over. She seeshim and is pleasantly surprised.
Hi.
She willspeak h~oken Englishwith a very heavyGerman accent,
What?
She smiles and giveshim a piece. He looks at itwith trepidation.
She gestures "go ahead". He takesa cautious bite, then realizes he likesit. She laughs knowingly. RUSTY It's good.
She looks confused. He mimes •you•and •me" and"walking.".She l'!nnf',:ar~wi+-h;iiwnm::an;"+-h.e.'J,,,l'V'l+-hr.;....,....,..._,._,•\.,,--......1.---.1:~\..--
Pg. 90 (A)
EXT, SOUVENIRSTAND - DAY I88 A
Audrey and Ellenare buying typicalsouvenirs. Clark comes over in tyrolean shorts,leederhosen,funny hat with feather etc.
Ellen and Audreyare speechless. Then they burst out laughing.
They walk towards the booths withgames.
90 (Bl
BOOTH WITHGAME - DAY I89
Clark isteasing er sheeting things to get a prize.Ellen sees Rustywalking with the girl. She signals to him toget going before Clark seesthem. Rusty signals "thanks"a.,dhe leaves the festival area with the girl.·
The three Griswalds sit near the stage,watching the dancers. Ellen leeks at her new souvenirs asClarkeatsa huge sausage and amug of beer. He can't surpressa burp.
(
Shouldn'twe find him. He'll get lest. He can't speak German. I ELLEN Clark, I'msure he'llmake himself understocd.
C
The German girl leadsRusty towardsa barn. She opens the door and pullsRusty in after her.
90(Cl
The Girl leads Rusty upaladder to a platform covered with straw.
"RUSTY Excellent.
She digsthrough some straw and findsafew cassette tapes. She showsthem to him with pride. He looks at them.
No good?
The local dancersare aboutto start another traditional dance. An ELDERLY MAN selectsSEVEN huge,strong MEN to
C participatein the dance. As Clark, Ellenand Rusty watch,
it becomes evident that the Elder needsone moremanfor the dance. He asks several localswho turnhim down. The Elder spotsClark and coaxes himj:ojoin the othermez:iinthe dance. With a•yes• vote from Ellen and Audrey,Clark good-naturedly joins the male dancers.
Cont.
9I I9I Cont.
The band beginsto play. Clark watches as these huge mentake
little dainty steps to the left••• then to the right ••• then they
square off asone of the men dances into the square and then dances up to one of the other menformingthe square. All the
time keeping their feet moving,themen in the square move
around the manin the middleand GENTLY SLAPHIS FACE. This continuesuntil all the dancers have slapped the man:!,.nthe middle. Then theman in the middle doesa bow and backpedals back to his place with the other men.The Elder asks witha shrug if Clark understands. Clark assureshim that he doesand takes his pace alongsidethe other dancers.
NEW ANGLE I92
Again the music starts.This time Clark imitates the hugemen taking their dainty clog steps as thesame procedure is repeated. The dancer to the rightof Clark goes into the middleand does a fewsteP.S. Then he presents himself to the first dancer who slaps his 'face.The square of dancers,including Clark, circle around the man in the middleandGENTLYslap his face, except Clark whounknowingly slapsthe man harder than is necessary. Thisdraws a serious lookfrom the other dancers. The music conti.nuesas the first part is repeated.Thistime it is Clark'sturn to step into the middle of the square.Hedances in, presents himself to the first man,who lays backandSLAPS CLARK'SEARS OFF. The next dancer does the same,asdo the rest. Clark is slapped so hardso-.many times hecanbarely find his way back to his spot in the square.The Townspeople love it. They cheer for more. The dancecontinues. Once againClark finds himselfas the guy who has to dance into themiddle. Reluctantly he staggers in,only to receive the same treatment as before. This time,Clark retaliatesand in ablink of the eye the dance turns intoa full-fledged riot.
Rusty and the GermanGirl are lyingin the hay together. They finish singing along with a tape.· Theylook at each other for a few beats, then lean inand kiss. Rusty starts to move his hand slowly towards her breast.Suddenly CHURCHSELLS RING OtJT. The Girl gets up, worried.
RtJSTY What's the matter?
RtJSTY What do they mean?
Cont.
I93 Cont.
RUSTY
He runs out of thebarn.
Clark, Ellen,and Audrey run for their lives,beingchased by some slap dancers on a horse drawn beer wagon.Rusty catches up to them.
The Griswaldsrace to the car and pile in, still being chased.
Clark is fumbling with the keys asRustysees themen gaining on them through the backwindow.
The car starts justin time. Clark puts it in gearand starts down the narrow streets.The walls closeon each side. Clark drives likea maniac.
With themen still pursuinghim, Clark steers the car -throughtheeven narrowerstreets.
CLOSEUPOF DOOR HANDLES 198
Theyclear a wall by aquarter of an inch.
J:NT.CAR -OAY 199
Ellen and the kids are terrified.
Clark, these streets look awfully narrow.
( EXT STREET - OAY 200
The na=ow lane makesa slight bend. The car comes speeding intoSHOTand slams into the buildings onboth sides becoming stuck.
·'!heyall look out the rear window and see the gang of men
,___ coming after them.
Clarkreaches up and hitsa button on the dash.The sunroof slides open.
NOPE!
EX'l'.STREET-DAY 202
~ne by one, the Griswaldsclimbout of the sunroof and run £or it. They get away just asthe irate mennear. The time it.takesthe men to climbover the car gives the Griswalds the time theyneed• ...
Pg. 94
The Griswalds run to the train station just asa train is.pulling out. They run andhop on it.
They settle in and breathe a sigh of relief.
The train rides throughGermany.
Some time has passed. Clark looks through his maps.
Rusty groans.
Cont.
Pg. 94(A) ROSTY 206 Cont. I vote we don'ttalk about Jack anymore.
They all agree. They all find things to do without talking. Audrey defaces her photos of Jack.Rusty listens to his walkman and snaps his fingers.Ellen meticulously washes her hands witha "Wash and Dri", Clark fiddles with his change.
The train continues towards Italy.
They arenow getting on each other's nerves even more.The little sounds of finger snapping, pencil scraping and change jingling becomes blaringly loud tothem.On top of J.tall Ellen has started to reada paper(loudly foldingand turning) and Audrey is chewing and popping hergum.
They give each other dirty looks,as if to say •cut it=t•, but out of spite they continue deliberately jangling,snapping, chewing,and folding. Clark gets an idea ofhow to make peace. He hops up.
DELETESCENE 209
Establishing shot of the Italian Branch.
Kneeling behind the counter two local thieves,PIETRO and SA!JTINOarecour..ting money.Next tothemis a tied and gagged U.S.Express Agent. In the b.g.we see that the safe hasbeen blown open. Santino is very good lookingand although his upbringing waslow class, he has developed refined tastes in clothing andwomen.
PIE,TRO Hey,what are we going to do with him?
'The U.S. ExpressMan looks inquisitive.
The U.S. ExpressMan gives them alook which says•sure you can".
l
The U.S.Express Man looks horrified and shakes his head•No".
The U.S. ExpressMan sighs with relief.
The U.S. ExpressMan nods in agreement withnew idea.
Pg,95 (A)
Clark and the Family walk towards the office.
Santino, Pietro,and the U.S.Express Man are still behind the counter.
The Griswalds enter.
Santino and Pietro exchange a look.'l'heGriswalds approach the counter.
She stoos near the counter. Her legs are right near Santino-and he likes what he sees.
He bangs on the counter and Santino popsup. Santino talks to Clark but is usually looking at Ellen.
Ellen blushes at his attentions. SANTINO One moment please. He ducksdown and takessome money. He whispers to Pietro.
Santino hands Pietro the car key.
Santino and the Griswalds are next toa FiatSedan. Santino gives Clark the keys.
CLAR.'< (getting in the car) Isn't this great. Inever heard ofU.S. Express renting cars.
The Griswaldswave and drive off.
Clark finisheschecking in and is givenakey.
They start to leave through the revolving doors when Ellen suddenly remembers something.
She turnsaround in the revolving doorsand goes the other way. Clark follows her. In doing so,a MAN who was entering the revolving doors get crushed.
Clark (who is outside)moves the doorsand pulls the.man, who is wedged between the doors, out.It is our old friend theENGLISH BICYCLIST. He has a cast onhis leg. He reaches for hiscane which is broken inti'oand has been thrOlmto the sidewalk.
• ENGLISH BICYCLIST
Fine, fine, couldn't be better. still on holidaythen? Hope the children are enjoying themselves as well.
Rusty and Audrey smile and nod.
99(Al ·ENGLISH !3ICYCLIST 2I4B Cont. This little thing? Hardly notice it atall. Nothing"morethan a big sock really.
He enters the hotel and Ellen comes out.
(.
In a MONTAGE toMUSIC we see them try onarticlesof clothing.
The Griswalds exit the clothing shop in their new Italian clothes. They look ridiculous, but feel likeamillion.
Cont.
''.,,·,,,..----·--·--·-·,_,•·•-...•,.-•C'.•.•:•.•n.
The Giswalds walk to the fountain near theRotunda. CLARX You know kids, there'sone great thing about fountains, they don't close at night. Even with all that time we lost shopping, we'll still be on schedule according to our Pig In A Poke itinerary.
Clark crosses offthe "RotundaFountain" from his Pig Ina Poke fountain list.
AUDREY ) I forgot. / TOGETHER RUSTY ) Grizbys or something.) )
Cont.
IOO(A)
CLARX 2I6Cont. Just think of all the famous Italians who have stood here before us, •• Julius Caesar,Nero ••••
The Griswalds walkon as the CAMERAPANS up to astatue in the fountain. H~s face is exactly like Clarks.
* PAGES ror - ro2AND ALL SCENE NUMBERSTHEREIN ARE NOW DELETED.
IOJ
Clark leads the familyaroundthe crowded Piazza. There are m.my teenagersin the cafes.md around the fountains.
He continuestalking aboutthe points of interestin the Piazza. Audrey is by his side but she's notlistening. She seesa BOY, who resembles Jack,kissinga girl.
Whenthe Boy stops kissing,Audrey can seeit's not him,but theimage has shaken her up nevertheless.In the middle of Clark's lecture Audrey starts tocry.
l col~sium. Iwant to see
,Jack!
Cont •
..----••-•--•-~..,.,_,_,..,_,._•·,-..o••·"'·•··-•···-·-··•~---..·_••-..•.··"·····:•.,.•,._,_,,,_____,~•••·--•••···•·· .-··.,--_-___-···-.·•.•••,..._·,;c";-;-occ-·c.•••--:..~---...,-,c,o-,.~
She walksaway from him.
Rusty spots a YOUNG GIRL sketching the fountain.She notices him too and smiles.
But we'reieaving the day after tomorrow. Can't we justspend this last little bit of time together like a family?
Cont.
RUSTY Pg. I03(B) I al!l_i;go._-I.1-msixteen years 222 Cont.I ol"d..Iwork part-time. I'm a world traveller. I want my independence.I ~ aman. He starts to walkaway. They look at Rustyshocked. Then he returns. RUSTY Can Ihave an advance on my allowance?
Ellen tries togather up thefamily.
We see what Ellen isscreaming at. A row ofposters are pasted up on the wall. On the poster isan ad for the film, •taDonna Nella Doccia" (Woman In The Shower),and the picture shows a semi-nude Ellen in her shower cap.The Griswalds look stunned. Clark triesto calm Ellen down.
Cont.
Pg. I03 (C) CI.A.RX 222 Cont.2 Now,hon, take it easy •••
The kids don't know how to react.Rusty backs away,
Cont.
Pg. I03(D)
Ellen storms off. Clarkgoes after her. 222 Cont.3
But she is ~one. Clark goes back to Audrey. He looks at the poster.
Clark doesn't notice Audrey walk away.
He turns to Audreybut she's not there.
Clark looks around. Froma HIGH ANGLE we see that he is all alone inthe Piazza.
Rusty approaches the Girltryingdesperately to be nonchalant.
She looks athim. He examines her-picture.
She starts to smile. He speaks slowly so she'll understand.
Be is tr.rilledand delighted.
They walk towardsan outdoor cafe.
Cont.
C Rusty is stunnedas they enter a cafe.
DELETE SCENENUMBER 224
I06
*PAGE DELETED*
I07
The Fiat drives up and parks.Ellen gets out and enters the hotel.
Ellen gets her keyfrom the front desk, starts for the elevator, then changes hermindand walks to the.bar. She sits and callsover a WAITER.
A glass ofwine is .brought over toatearful Ellen. She raises it to her lips. ~hand comes down and stops her from'drinking. She looks upand sees Santino.
Be sits, calls over a waiter,and asks fora good wine.
Cont.
Pg. IO8
ELLEN 226 A Cont. What are you doing here?.
She thinks fora moment. The screen goes wavy. We see •••
ELLEN'SMEMORY 226 B c.u. Clark,in Pig costu:ne,on the Pig InA Poke show.
Clarksmiles proudly. Back to scene.
Ellen looksangry 226 C
Shestarts sobbing. Santino holds her and comforts her.
Audrey enters andplops her Pig In A Poke bagdownon the front desk neara pay phone. She pulls out herplane ticket. She tries to call the airport on the pay phone but she is havingtroubl_e. AUDREY Hello, can I have information please. I want thenumber of the airport. Infor:nationie du Aerporto - uhnurnero, pleaseo •••
She grows moreand more upset. AUDREY "Teowo ao •••
Clark finishesa coffee while readinghis guidebook. He is cheerful and ready for his solitary tour.He getsup and the lightweightchair falls down behind himandknocks over another chair. As he tries to pick them up,he topples other chairs. AnnoyedWAITERS scramblebehind him to straighten the chairs. He leaves while apologising.
Clark looksat the Pantheon and nods his approval.He takes a picture. Then, not sure what else there is to do,he decides to take a picture of himself in front of it,He holds his camera at armslength, smilesand shoots himself.
3; EXT.CROWDED STREETS (nearour clothing store) - DAY
Clarkwalks down the street througha sea of people. There are MONKS,SOLDIERS, YOUNGCOUPLES, etc. All the faces seem to be looking· athim. In his ChicagoCl.lbscap,he appears out of place and alien.
A JAPANESEFAMILY are enjoying themselves.The Mother and Children pose obediently in front of, the fountain,asthe Father takesa picture. Clark watches them jealously.
5. -EXT.SOUVENIR STANDAT TREVI FOUNTAIN- DAY
Clark istrying to'buy a present for Ellen.The PEDDLER is arguingwith him and Clark ishaving a hard time figuring the value of liras to dollars.
Clarkis in £rent of a statue. He reads his guidebook out loud, points and explains thingsabout the statue.But in a LONGER SHOT we see that he is alone.Passershy react to him as if he isa weird character.
IIO
Santino ispouring Ellen more wine. The~rbottle is '8111pty.She is tipsy as sheshowshimsome snapshots.
Santino is staring atherintensley. She becomes uncomfortable.
She rises,knocks over a glasswith her purse andwalks into a chair.
He throwssome money on the tableand leads her out.
III
Rusty and the Girl areeatingsundaes.
RUSTY . : That's for sure. Boy you've got a greatway of looking at stuff.
<.IRL Rea·lly.
They smile,then continue with their sundaes.
···~-"·.•,.,.------·-·____,._____,.......---_________,,_,....--·----------~•---.. ••.,•••••·•••·•<•<•«~,••••-•••<o••••••••·••·••••••••sv•••••ss·,•·••·•••••••••••••-•••·•••,,•·•••••••
III(A) 230 A A sad Clark Griswald sits near some statues ofROlllallheres. A statue of JuliusCeasaropens its stoney eyesand looks at him.
Clark?
Clark looks up.
CAESA.'l. ClarkGriswald?•••PigIn A Poke?
~SAR You and the troops enjoying Europe?
(sadly) Uh, sure, it'sO.K. I lost my luggage in France, I was run out of Germany, my family's deserted me. I guess Ican safely say things haven't gone according to plan. CAESA~ Clark, travel and adventure •••well ••• they test a man's mettle. The end- less hourson the road, hearing foreign languages,eating strange foods, I rememberwhat it was like. But theworst obstacle is dealing with disgrunt~edtroops, isn'tit?
CAE~~'l. Griswald, you have what it takes to conquer new territories, but you're surrounded by traitors. You can't be held back by the naysayers. Don't let them stop you from fulfilling your destiny.
Cont.
III(Bl 230A cont.
Clarkstorms out as anotherTYPICAL TOORISTenters. Ceasar sees him.
CAESA"! Mark•••Mark Canton? TicTac Dough?
He sits.on the bed, next to her.She reaches out,grabs his tie, pulls him over and kisseshim. Then she opens her eyes,sees it's not Clark,and reacts with Shock.
Oh my God! I take that back!
SAi.'ITINO Fortunately, he's not here.
·ELLEN Lcok,I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that.
l
Santino backsaway and glances out the window.
SHOT FROM SANTINO'S P.o.v. 232
Several POLICECARS are converging on the hotel.The police get outand talk fora moment, pointingto the hotel, then split up and head for the frontandrear entrances of the hotel.
Santino smiles; He abruptly pulls outa gun-and aims it at Ellen. She almost hasa heart attack.
Pietro waits1nth the tiedU'.'.'tr.s.Exr,ress!1an:.The PHONE :uNGS.
Pietro Yes?
SANTINO
I The policeare here. Meet I.... me at the car.
Santino hangsup and=osses to Ellen.
He pulls her off the bed and,keeping the gun in her side, leads her out of the room.
II4
Audrey ~s still tryingto make arrangements. She's practically intears.
Pietro has stuffed the agentinthe trunk, andis just closing the lid ashe hears the police.
NEW ANGLE
The Policearrive with gunsdrawn. They spot Pietroand he tries torun away, but they catchhim and ·drive him away in theircar.
(
Audrey has finally gotten through tosomeone.
Santino holdsa gun to Ellen's side as he marches her through the lobby. Audrey (doesn't see the gun)sees her Mother leavingwith a man.
ELLEN
C (Asshe's whisked o~t)
Audrey!
rrs
Santinogets in his car with Ellen(Volkswagen convertable). Audreyrushes out. She sees Ellen struggling with Santino as theydrive off.
but he's not sure what'sgoing on.
Clark runs to their Fiat(with the man inside)and slams into ot?er cars as he pulls out of his parking spot.
Audrey·runs over and lets herself in the car.Clark has a near miss with another driver as he peels out and follows Santino.
Clark andAudrey drive down the street looking for Santino.
Audreyspots Santino's car. Both cars are stuck intraffic•.
Clark drives up onto the sidewalk,overtakes the other cars and smashes into a religious artifacts stand.As he gets to Santino's car the light changes.They drive off and Clark drives back intothe street in pursuit.
Santino's car races past with Ellen screaming for help. Clark's car whipsby and we PAN with itand reveal.the Collesium.
Rusty and the Girl are in an outdoor cafe.
In the b.g.~ SEE the TWOCARS racing into the Piazza.
A.'lOTHERANGLE 242
The Cars race through, dii.rupting tourists, artists,and pigeons. Two OLD MONKS arecaref\lllyCarJ:Yinga large
c expensive, stained glass window,towards the cafe.As
Santino'scar buzzes by them,they nimbly moveaway and save their glass. They continueon until Clark's car races past,but once againthey avoid contactand they continue walking across the square.
Rusty and the Girl at the cafe.
Santino andEllen shoot past the cafe. Rusty doesn'tnotice.
At that moment Clark~scar =ashes through the cafe. Clark seesRusty and slamson the brakes.
The Girl and Rusty run overandget in the car. The CAFE OWNER is so disgusted that he picksupa chair and throws it. The Two Monks were approaching and the chair sails through their stained glasswindow.
Clark's car leaves theNavona Piazza. 243 A
(_
been kidnapped bythe Traveller's Checks guy.
A WEDDING GROOPis posing for pictures. Santino'scar <:0111esdowna narrow street intothe circular Church Square. Clark ison his tail. They scatter the Wedding Party as they drive in circles around the top.Santino sees an escape route. The shallow staircase isdriveable and he goes down thestairs to the road. He has to spin out to miss a car. Clark is tryingto follow when he gets a flat on his front tire.
He goes to the trunk and opens it.A crowd hasgathered outside. They look ath:iltl.
The U.S. TravellersChecksMan staresup at him. Clark stares back.
(_
Clark closes trunk lid.
Clark goesover to the Kids.
Clark spots something on the street below them.
Santinostruggleswith Ellen as he tries to drive through traffic.
Clark is enraged. He grabs a bicycleaway from a rack. The nearbyOWNER yells at him.
Rusty, Audrey,and the Girl getout of the car and open the trunk. Rusty shouts to Clark beforehe leaves.
RUSTY
( Hey, what do Ido with him?
Clark leaves. The Kids help theMan out of theirtrunk.
Cont.
We're innocent bystandersin this. We won a vacation on Pig In A Poke. Please don'tthink we're bad people. This is our first kidnapping.
Clark rides down the bumpy stairs.
Santino takes off as Clark reaches the bottom and has a near miss witha car. Clark chasesthem on the bicycle.
Santino's car isslowed by t~affic,Clark has a chance to catch up andgrab on and ride alongside as they all struggle.
Clark makesa western style transferinto the back of their car. He dives in andhis feet are up i..n the air.
Santino and Ellen struggle.Clark's feet are still seen. The car is out of control.It drives towardsa street with a fountain. • Tourists and localshangaround the fountain
C
when suddenly Santino's carcomes flyingbyand lands in the fountain. Clark falls out ofthe·car and lies,stunned in the fountain. someby-standers near the fountain have fallen or scattered. Clarkcomes to and seesa man struggling to get upin the water. Be rushes overand proceeds to beat up the man {who appears to be Santino).TheMan is beaten and collaPses. Clarklifts h.il:tupout ofthewater. lleSEE that it is NOT Santino,hut the ENGLISE!IICYCLIST.
He helpshim up.
cont.
I2I
249 Cont.
We HEAR POLICESIRENS. Meanwhile Santino struggles out of the car on the other side ofa fountain. He comes after Clark with agun, but he doesn't notice Ellen behindhim. She grabsa broken piece of statue and hitshimover the head. Just as Clark turnsaround to see what's happening, Santino collapses in his arms.
Clark doesn'tknow why but he accepts the compliment. Ellen runs into hisarmsand they embrace lovingly. In the b.g.,Police, the family with the travellerschecks man,etc. arrive. Santino is pulled out by the Police and arrested.
NEW ANGLEon Rustyand the Girl 250
ANGLE on Audrey.
MUSIC comes up aswe CUT TO Clarkand Ellen. They kiss as
the MUSIC SWELLS andwe PULL BACl<to see the wholesquare and Rome.
FADE OUT: MAJOR NEW SONG WITH CREDITS.
ENO