"NATIONAL LAMPOONS CHRISTMAS VACATION" (1989)

198 914, Api·il

VACATION CHRISTMAS

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S

j

forward in her seat.Audrey leans

4 CAR INT. 4

on the road.outtruck pulls An old, battered pickupFRAME.THROUGHThe Taurus drives

3 ROAD COUNTRYEXT. 3

symbols. important of Christmasmostthat and select the winter landscape embrace the frosty majesty ofto wheel drive sleighthe old front country in heading out into the by Christmas fashioned family old- We're kicking off our fun, CLARK

doing?we're Can you explain again whatDad? a pause)(after RUSTY

A-moment of reverent silence.

co-o-o-me ye to Be-e-ethlehem.Oh, d CLARK

majestic voice.deep,afinishes with

He and half-closes his eyes.Clark clears his throat

looking out their windows.and Audrey areRustywindow. looking out theEllen's are in the backseat.RUSTY,son, and twelve-year-oldAUDREY fourteen-year-old daughter,

His him. ELLEN, is next toHis wife, Clark's driving.

2 CAR INT. 2

come ye ...Oh, and tri-uuuuuuuum-phant,Joyful (V.O.)CLARK

JR. GRISWOLD,W.CLARK The voice belongs toCONTINUES.SONGThesleek curves. hugging the TAURUS with simulated wood panelsfamily Queen aerodynamically-styled Roadnew,aROARSbeauty timeless Into this and bridges.barns and hardwood,pine· firm stands of Rolling hills,Country.and IvesCurrier

1 MORNING- COUNTRYSIDEEXT.1

UP. FADES Ye Faithful"Come All"Oh, VOICE singingMALEA

_j

singing. He stops He glances in the rearview mirror.

a happy new year ...And

a merry ChristmasWe wish you CLARK

Clark continues singing.

8 TAURUSINT. 8

of the Taurus. few inches of the rear bumperup within atruck pulls bumper of the pickup and rust-pitted frontThe bent

7 TAURUS- CLOSEUP-ROADEXT. 7

a merry Christmas .•.We wish you

a merry Christmas,We wish you CLARK

song once again. Clark breaks into

no. Oh, AUDREY

and groans.Rustylooks atAudrey d

be there. and we'll songs Three maybe four moreNah. CLARK

Clark? much further,Is it ELLEN

6 CAR INT. 6

up behind the Taurus. The pickup truck pulls

5 ROAD EXT. 5

Clark smiles proudly.

Christmas tree. the Griswold family today is looking forWhat we're home. one of those athaveINope. CLARK

it are we? on stupid ties with Santa Clauses one of thosecan getso youhere way out We're not driving. all the AUDREY 0

(_) grits his teeth and nearly bends the wheel over. Clark Ellen is hurled forward.The kids jerk forward.

14 CAR INT. 14

close.

up Taurus ridesThe jammed on its brakes.The pickup has

13 POV HIS 13

on the brakes.stompsHe back from Ellen and gasps.turns

He proud of himself.chuckles~ looks at Ellen andHe

CLOSEUP .CLARK

a double bird.the pickup Clark flipslook, As the kids He points out the window.

deer!A Look? kidsfHey, CLARK

HORN. BEEPS hisand Clark flashes his lights

them. Don't provokeClark? ELLEN d him. HORN and sneers as the pickup pulls pastBLASTS hisClark

12 CAR INT. 12

down and the pickup pulls around him.Clark slows

11 HIGHWAYEXT. 11

him pass. Slow down and let ELLEN

blows.

HORN PICKUPThe look around behind.Ellen and the kids

my tail. Some jackass is riding CLARK

the matter?What's ELLEN

up. Clark speeds

10 ELLENAND CLARK-CAR INT. 10

crowds the mirror.The pickup truck

9 POV HIS 9

quilted nylon hunting jackets. and dirty, They are dressed in flannel shirtspasses. old man at the wheel watch as the Taurusa gnarled,l)

and sheep-bangersyoung,red-cheeked, A pair of in-bred,

21 PICKUPINT. 21

liver lips. my road grit,Eat CLARK

pidcup. He waves to theClark smiles.

20 CAR INT. 20

and passes it. around the pickupThe Taurus pulls

19 HIGHWAYEXT. 19

hope they're hungry!And IYup.

CLARK

my dust.'and 'eat 'burn rubber' I believe the expression isDad? RUSTY

He floors it.

my rubber!Eat window) (out the some dust here.g.onna burnI'm (to Rusty)

safely behind us.

around him and leave himgonna get

I'm something like that?doeswho

somebody You want to ride behind CLARK

Slow down! ELLEN

Ellen barks at Clark.

18 CAR INT. 18

hot after the truck.SQUEALS out,TAURUSThe

17 HIGHWAYEXT. 17

hits the gas.

He and committed to escalating the conflict.angryHe's

16 CLARK- CLOSEUP16

They laughing. the rear window,look outboysfarmThe 0

15 TRUCK- PICKUPEXT. 15

pulls out.

and eyes to the road, hits his signalClark returns his

honey. Don't worry about it, CLARK

Taurus. up alongside thesemi pulls looks at Ellen as theHe

ANGLECROSS- CLARK- CLOSEUP

dead! spend the holidays want todon'tI Stop it!Clark! ELLEN

him again. Clark watches as the pickup passes

27 TAURUSINT. 27

out to pass the Taurus.semi pullsThebehind the Taurus. semi isThe of the Taurus. The pickup pulls in front

26 HIGHWAYEXT. 26

window. out his Clark glances

They're back.Dad? RUSTY

Clark doesn't.notice.kids- Ellen and the The pickup has pulled alongside Clark.

at the White House? used displayedwas firstof tree me what kind can one of you tell Christmas trees,speaking ofKids, Anyway. enough of that.That's CLARK

Clark smiles with satisfaction.

25 TAURUSINT. 25

pickup truck. load of timber has pulled behind theasemi haulingA

24 BED TRUCK PICKUPFROM- HIGHWAYEXT.24

of the pickup. around in frontpullsThe Taurus

23 HIGHWAYEXT.23

Clark waves arrogantly.down in her seat.Ellen shrinks0

22 POV THEIR 22

on purpose!do this I didn'tsake, for Christ'sWell, CLARK

don't fight!you guys,Come on, AUDREY

that? know don't you honestly think IDo CLARK

a truck. We're stuck underClark? ELLEN

alright!. Thank God, we'reWe're alright! CLARK

to avoid being caught in the rear wheels. speed of the truck he struggles to maintain the exactas

sweat Clark's in a full The family's silent with shock.

33 TAURUSl;NT. 33

the car. from the front trailer wheels is pepperingroad saltand

Mud of the high-clearance trailer running at high-speed.d

and back wheels Taurus is trapped between the frontThe

32 SEMI- HIGHWAYEXT.32

exchange bewildered looks.two boysThe

31 WINDOWBACK- CLOSEUP- PICKUPEXT. 31

no Taurus.There's semi returns to the proper lane.The

30 POV THEIR 30

the back window. around and look outboys whiptwoHisaround.He whips

a take. and does rearview mirror The old man looks in his

29 TRUCK PICKUPINT. 29

and he shrieks!

pop eyesHis He sees that he's pulling into the truck.

28 CLARK- TAURUSEXT. 28

scream. and AudreyRustyEllen,

CAR INT.

· jerks it sharply to the right. clutches the wheel tightly anddeep breath,aClark takes

a truck!! crushed byget

about towe're Our Lady of Jesus, CLARK

we again? What religion are RUSTY

was before that.This AUDREY

cemetery?the

bugs in sacrificing June.up for

pickedgot the kid whoIsn't .that Audrey)(to CLARK

Obviously not! ELLEN

Ellen?that, know aboutDid you CLARK

railroad bridge in town. with Sean Marley under thed was reallywhen I Cassandra Reed's

was at me for saying IForgive AUDREY

Yes! CLARK

know! have toI Is it? AUDREY

Just keep praying! ELLEN

a sin?late

so home why you got lying aboutIs AUDREY

our sins ...Forgive us ELLEN

Ellen and the kids are praying. on controlling the car. Clark is maniacally focused

35 TAURUSINT. 35

along with the Taurus beneath it.The truck barrels0

34 ROAD EXT. 34

mind.no pays it Clark snow. a very hard go of the deepThe family has

snow. and Rusty trudging through theAudreyEllen,Clark,

FINDWe grousing.cursing, shivering, of fir trees,

rows Families stumble across the frozen earth between the

48 FARM TREE CHRISTMASEXT.48

good time. We made prettyHey? CLARK

looks at his watch.HeENGINE.OFF thepark and turns Taurus in Clark puts the frozen in horror.family isThe

47 CAR INT. 47

space. a parking sliding sideways .into make-shift parking lot,

a The Taurus blasts past the sign and intoRANCH.TREE

CHRISTMASSAVE'N'SAW JOLLY JERRY'S--readslights permanent wood sign festooned with coloredA large,

46 FARM TREE CHRISTMASEXT.46

and off the road.then the right crossing the left lane, The Taurus returns to the road,

45 ROAD EXT. 45

CAMERA.INTO snowbankout of and the Taurus bursts long beata A virgin snowfield.and tranquility.Peace

44 COUNTRYSIDEEXT.44

silent. It's and disappears. The Taurus hurtles off the road

43 ROAD EXT. 43

on-coming Taurus. directly in line with the snow plough is pulled over on the shoulder,aahead,Just

42 POV HIS 42

thru thru 38 OMITTED38

on his wipers.and turns a sigh of reliefClark breathes

37 TAURUSINT. 37

opposing lane. onto thesemi from beneath theoutpopsThe Taurus

36 SEMIOF AHEAD- ROAD EXT. 36

with their bare hands.dovm and cut it out that special tree picked woods, out in theThey went CLARK

my legs. can't feelI AUDREY

our forefathers did.whatThis is kids. know,You special meaning. no have over-priced trees that dead, are satisfied with scrawny, and Christmas old-fashioned family fun,a how to have people forgot becauseRuss, They invented them, CLARK

a whole Saturday?and waste to drive all the way out to nowhere so people wouldn't havetree lots Ch~istmas Didn't they inventDad? RUSTY

snow. They continue their march through the

deer probably lifted his leg on it. A hon. The bottom's all dead, CLARK

Clark considers the tree briefly and rejects it.

one over there.a niceThere's ELLEN

a tree. Ellen points out

numb. My toes are AUDREY

awfully cold.It'swe smell?while a tree can we pick outClark, ELLEN

smell? Christmasya And isn't that CLARK

smells like Pinesol.It RUSTY

smell? Notice that deep breath! a Take Is this air fresh or what? CLARK 0

It's ... just It's not that big. CLARK

a little big?Isn't itClark? (tentatively) ELLEN

around him. The family gathersthe tree.mires

ad- and Clark looks up,down. From the top of the tree

50 CLARK- ABOVEFROM- FARM TREE CHRISTMASEXT.50

tree. Christmas The Griswold family (to the family) CLARK

feet tall. twenty We realize that the tree isFRAME.INTOstrolls and Clark A long beat A perfectly shaped Norway pine.

49 POV FAMILY'S49

at. The family turns to see what he's pointingClark points.

A49 FAMILY-FARM TREE CHRISTMASEXT.A49

There it is! CLARK

IN. FADES ANGELSOF A CHORUS spotted the special tree. He's eye. Something catches his He scans the forest.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

That's all part of the experience. (distracted) CLARK

down. from the waistfrozenAudrey's ELLEN

honey?Yeah, CLARK

landscape. survey the Clark stops to

Clark? ELLEN

my hips. can't feelIMom? AUDREY 0

48 ( 2 ) CONTINUED:48

Thyit ... CLARK

it.

admit care to a mistake but doesn'tmadeHe realizes he's

CLARK- CLOSEUP

thaw?a Did you bringDad? a pause)(after RUSTY

Christmuth.

thymble ofa Thith tree ith (pause) warmembrace of kith and kin. the season are best enjoyed in the The most·enduring traditions of pause). after a satisfied (a deep breath, CLARK

eyes are frozen shut. honey, her She'll see it later, ELLEN

a beaut? Isn't it Audrey? d CLARK

Dad. Yeah, RUSTY

Russ?huh, something else,It's CLARK

Clark. It really is beautiful, ELLEN

look at it.Just CLARK

embrace.family Rusty into the Ellen pulls arm around Ellen and Audrey.Clark puts his

A51 FAMILY-FARM TREE CHRISTMASEXT.A51

room. going in the livingIt's Russ. It's not going in the yard, CLARK

yard. That wouldn't fit in ourDad? RUSTY

(MORE) l) Honey, it's huge. CLARK

a tree? much for You paid that ELLEN

it out of the ground. some way to getneedIthe tree. paid seventy-five dollars forI CLARK

look. She gives Clark a glance at Ellen.aClark sneaks

TRAILEREXT.

SAW. DAMNOWN BUYER PROVIDESFOR --

PAIDHE THAN TREESMORE DOWNCUT BUYER DON'T BATHROOM -- AS A RANCHTHEUSE BUYER DON'TADVANCE --INPAYSBUYER

It reads --on white. painted sign -- black lettersA

SIGN- CLOSEUP

a painted sign on the trailer.He points to

saw. damn own say buyer providesRules 0 MAN \

nose. smoke out his and blows theon his butt The Man puffs

TRAILEREXT.

saw.a didn't bring I but hate to trouble you,I CLARK

smile. a friendlyHe offers

CLARK- CLOSEUP

What? MAN

a dirty Santa hat. cigarette and wearing

a smokingMAN middle-aged on a sour-looking,opensIt

DOOR TRAILER- CLOSEUP

opens. It the door. stands at The family of Jolly Jerry. and residencethe office A rotting double wide serves as

51 TRAILERHOUSE- RANCHTREEEXT. 51

chainsaw.a and brandishinghockey maskawearing Clark steps out of the darkThe electric door goes up.

DOOR GARAGE- HOUSEEXT.

IN. FADES HORROR MUSICDRONINGOMINOUS STARTS UP.CHAINSAWa Inside the garage,at the tree. looking of neighbor kids are standing in the driveway coupleaand Rusty on its rootball in the front yard. The giant tree is resting The Taurus's in the driveway.

on. The lights are A fine upper middle class dwelling.

54 NIGHT- HOUSE GRISWOLDEXT.54

53 OMITTED·53

huge root ball.and aheavy twine bound withbranches length of the tree;see the full

We CAMERA. OVERTAKES ahead and The car pullsroof.

enormous tree tied to thewe see the car and theuntil

WIDEN We continue to They're also blue.and the kids.

WIDENS to reveal EllenSHOTThe clutching the shovel.

blue, He's frozen, passenger seat. Clark's in the front

52 LATER- CLARK- TAURUS- HIGHWAYEXT. 52 0

\ He stares with alarm.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

a shovel.up He holds

MAN- CLOSEUP

nice. you just have to askSometimes CLARK

the family.looks atHe

CLARK- CLOSEUP

around behind the door.and reachesHe scratches his nose

MAN- CLOSEUP

me out. you could help I'd really appreciate it if the holidays are here,It's cold, (to the Man) (CONT'D)CLARK

II

show you!and I'll Bend over CLARK

mouth and yells.his hand to cups hisHe on his forehead.up pushes the mask CHAINSAW andOFF theHe turns enough mood as it is.

bada He's in Chesters.theon love lost Obviously no

CLARK- CLOSEUP

a tree that big?putgonnayou're you thinkdoWhere Griswold!Hey,

Cl-ark)(to TODD

* d

cocky grin, yells:awearingTodd,

A56 DRIVEWAY AND MARGO'STODDEXT.A.56

half. and cuts it in chainsaw to it Clark takes thewith twine. laying in the front yard, still boundThe giant tree is

POV THEIR

humor. are clearly people devoid of

They compressed, stiff laugh.achuckle --aThey have

ceiling. room the height of his living Looks like the toad overestimated TODD

Todd to stand at his side.around to Margo crossesCHAINSAW. ROAR of the wincing at the look to the Griswolds,TheyCHESTER.TODDandMARGOals. modern suburban profession-successful,They're handsome,

Griswolds. parked in the driveway of the house next to the

Saaba couple in their mid-thirties is getting out ofA

55 DOOR NEXT HOUSEEXT. 55

14. 4/19/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

room. Branches extend deep into the enormous. the tree isUnwrapped,room. unfold into the The branches are released andon the twine.He yanks

Christmas tree! give you the Griswold familyI CLARK

a length of twine.upand takes Clark steps to the tree

FAMILY-ROOM LIVINGINT.

a problem.be do but it won'ttrimming tomore a littlehaveI honey.sure,Oh, CLARK

looking at top of the tree.He's

CLARK- CLOSEUP

It's flush to the ceiling.

TREEOF TOP- CLOSEUP

the star? enough room forIs thereClark? (looking up) ELLEN before the tree. standing family isThe It's still wrapped with twine. and bottom to get it to fit.tophad to trim both the Clark'sroom. up in the rear corner of theThe tree is

56 · LATER- TREE CHRISTMAS-ROOMLIVINGINT. 56

UP. REVS CHAINSAWThe She gasps in horror.

MARGO- CLOSEUP

you! wasn't talking toI CLARK Clark yells back.

POV HIS

Griswold! me like that, your nerve talking togotYou TODD

offered in the presence of his wife. the rude suggestionangry atClark,looks back atHe

looks to Margo.Hesmile fades.His

TODD- CLOSEUP

A56 CONTINUED:A56

j

(MORE) ) \ honey.fun, of the That's all part \ I CLARK

well. ornaments aren't working out too The old-fashionedClark? ELLEN

Clark walks to the tree with the light strands.

pull the string through it! when I The popcorn falls apart

(frustrated) AUDREY

cranberries.

my needle through thecan't getI RUSTY

a cardboard box. He's fishing lights out of

accommodate the star. denuded the top twelve inches to

and trimmed the Christmas tree branchesClark haslaps.

theirin of popcorn and cranberriesbowl'ssitting with and Ellen areRustyAudrey, a strand of lights.tangling

un- He's cashmere V-neck.a Clark's wearingpicture.

A nearly perfect holidaycalm.andIt's pleasant

NIGHT- ROOM LIVINGINT.

61 LATER- FIREPLACE-CLOSEUP-ROOM LIVINGINT. 61

room fireplace.living a fire in theofg1'owcan see theWeon. The lights are

60 NIGHT- HOUSEEXT. 60

They say nothing. He says nothing.Rusty.

Audrey and Clark looks at Ellen,feet in diameter.

eight a pine cylinder,It's the top as at the bottom.

same diameter atThe tree is the in pine boughs. stand waist-deepThe Griswolds by the unfurled tree. dominated room square footage isA third of the living

59 ROOM LIVINGINT. 59

WINDOW.a back CRASHES throughBRANCHAnother

58 YARDBACK- HOUSEEXT. 58

C WINDOW. CRASHES through a sideA BRANCH

57 SIDE- HOUSEEXT. 57

j . f

the tree?

What are you doing behindClark? ELLEN

and grown upbe all

you kids'llknow it,Before we (O.S.) CLARK

around behind the tree.Clark disappears

ROOM LIVINGINT.

popcorn out of his mouth.

row of strung pieces ofaa string and thenHe pulls

RUSTY- CLOSEUP

no. But, (pause)

fun ••. Sounds like CLARK

moment.a Clark considers the question for

CLARK- CLOSEUP

mouth. loads the popcorn into hisHe

you? our presents are

on making you're not planning

mean,I extended to our gifts.

charm if it might lose its

think itI so far but pretty cool

This tradition stuff isDad? RUSTY

* bowl of popcorn.a He reaches into

* RUSTY- CLOSEUP

* he goes.as stringing the lights * slowly around the tree,Clark movesat the bottom. * starting on the tree, Clark begins stringing the lights

and then I'll giveupthe lights I'll get dog whiskers.prairie donkey tails,ox horns,string, wood shavings, bits of yarn and Colored balls of mud,homestead. around the old prairiefrom things them make had toThey ornaments. buy theirandgo out couldn't peopleago, years kids, know,You (CONT'D)CLARK

_j

them. looking forward to seeing so wasI Christmas~come for shame they can'taand it'sYeah, (false) CLARK

my mother? talked toIyou thatI tellDid ELLEN

down the cuff. them Clark's herding picking individual needles off.

She's on the other.she's workingone sleeve,onworking

He's Clark and Ellen are cleaning Clark's sweater.

* A62 LATER- KITCHENINT. A62

honey? you say,What'd CLARK (O.S.)

head-to-toe in sap and pine needles.

coveredHe's from around behind the tree.Clark emerges

so salty. cashews but notlike

a littleIt's cocoon?tasted

you everHave All better.Okay.

(gags)

* ~

a swallowedI just Hold on, (D.S.)CLARK

COUGHS.andGAGS CLARK

over your sweater.

hope you're not getting sap allI ELLEN

around behind it.

way and shakes as Clark works hisThe tree shivers

Daddy. Watch your eyes, AUDREY

Ouch! a difference.you'd notice back here, if I didn't put lights Believe me, tree isn't balanced. the do the front,If you just (O.S.)CLARK

Dad.

behind the tree,looksNobody RUSTY

Putting up the lights. (D.S.)CLARK

61 2)( CONTINUED:61

now stuck toIt's the bag goes with it.arm back,his When he pulls of the grocery bag lining the wastebasket.

edge on the wad of pine needleswipe theClark tries to

They get along. CLARK

along. and they don't getThey're family ELLEN

strangers off the street. not Ellen, They're family, CLARK

house. our with all these people at be how difficult it's going to think you're forgettingIbutNo, ELLEN

and the needles. acknowledging the sapnot They continue talking,other. one hand to thefrom she does is transfer the needles c:;J

All hands; Ellen is trying to get the needles off her

\

complaining?IAm CLARK

family Christmas here. old-fashionedhave the fun,was to whose idea it Let's not forget ELLEN

wastebasket. sweater and tries to flick it into thecuff of his wad of sticky pine needles off thelargeaClark pulls

Great! (again) Darn. (corrects himself) Damn. CLARK

coming. they're condo in Florida soon the enough dealgooda couldn't get dadMy changed their mind. They talked to her today.I ELLEN

~•: A62 CONTINUED:A62

operation. back my dad had hissince Especially and light.sweetness going to be allthat it's not aware But just becoming.all They'redone. damage isThe ELLEN

good with the bad.You take the Ellen. That's all part of it, ·cLARK

most during the war? go at it over who suffered the and your fathermy fatherto you really want to listenDo ELLEN

The sweater goes nowhere. throw it again.tries toHehand. It's stuck to his on the table. and tosses it Clark peels his sweater off

show. sure doesn'tIt CLARK "----'' ,---..i She has for years. ELLEN

Your mother waxes her upper lip? CLARK

for three years. and they stop speakingupper lip my mother of waxing heraccusing and your mothercheap hot.dogs accusing your mother of buying my motheraboutAnd it'sYeah. ELLEN

It sticks to her hands.the bag off.pμlls Ellenit.to bag stuck hand and theout hisHe holds

family life. the petty problems of and seeing throughdifferences resolvingabout Christmas is CLARK

Clark, it's endless.love more? do the childrenwhoroom,in what sleepsWho argue.do is All they ELLEN

* A62 ( 2) CONTINUED:A62

Audrey peeks in.andopensIt

DOOR BEDROOM -INT.

first.

go through yourscanIOkay, if ELLEN

him. Clark pulls her toasEllen laughs

catalogue?

through yourthumbCan I just CLARK

so late. Clark, it's ELLEN

home shopping?a littleHow about CLARK

Clark and Ellen are in bed.

62 BEDROOMINT. 62

The lights are out.

-!: B62 LATER- HOUSE GRISWOLDEXT.B62

Not even your dad. (softer) CLARK

What? ELLEN

even your dad.Not (muffled) CLARK

face. The sweater's stuck to hishead.He shakes hishands. off hisit mouth and pullshis the sweater inClark puts

Christmas. spoil this going to Nothing's No problem. CLARK

touchy about it.extremelyHe's ELLEN

The bag stays stuck to her knees.free. and pulls her hand Ellen puts the bag·between her knees

-!: A62 ( 3 ) CONTINUED:A62

Decorated for the holidays.The Loop.

64 DAY- CHICAGO DOWNTOWNEXT.64

and he tears it off. sticks to his finger

the paper dooraway,hand Clark draws hisAstree.

a partridge in a pear a tiny illustration ofand15DEC.

expose door to open the first Clark's fingersseason. symbol of theaand opened to reveal the datedoors is one of the little Every day in the month of December, a paper door. conceals each date behindOf the sort that

63 CALENDAR CHRISTMAS-CLOSEUP63

* A63 OMITTEDA63

* he crashes to the floor. * as He screams by his undershorts.Clark to the floor * from bed dragsleap The power of Ellen'sIt's too late.

Your hand!Ellen! CLARK

* from the bed.Ellen leapsalarm. * up in Clark looks from under the covers.upEllen pops

d BED BEDROOM -INT.

doing?!

guys What are yousick!Oh, AUDREY

no idea what they're talking about.She has

AUDREY- CLOSEUP

section.

You're in the sporting goods CLARK

What's this? ELLEN

covers.~he Clark and Ellen are under

POV HER

you with. All the better to serve (O.S.)CLARK

year.

a big catalogue thisWhatOoo. (O.S.)ELLEN

j.

a pool? You're putting in BILL

sufficiently impressed. He peruses the brochure,

BILL- CLOSEUP

and spa. swimming pool in-the-ground

An ecstatic all-American family frolicking in a deluxe

BROCHURE-INSERT

and hands it to Bill.pocket

* from his inside jacketcolor brochurea worn,removesHe

this. a .look atTakeno.Heck,Me? CLARK

hope? I on yourself,Blow itcheck?

bonusfat gonna do with that big,

you The big question is, what're BILL

from penetrating it. cereal to prevent the milk It seals the crunch enhancer. Non-nutritive cereal varnish CLARK

Drug?

Food and thing you have over at new What's the I'm not kidding. BILL

Nah. CLARK

Year. Food Additive Designer of the excellent shot at being named you have anhear,I From what

huh? bonus this year,Christmas a nice fat be looking atYou'll BILL

and chatting. sipping coffee coffee station,

the are standing atBILL BURKE,co-worker,aClark and

66 STATIONCOFFEE- BUILDINGINT.66

city . ,/...\ of the A new high-rise in the heartClark's building. (',

65 BUILDINGOFFICEEXT.65

economic high colonic. an anyway butChristmasWhat's BILL

huh?guy, a sentimentalYou're CLARK

lawn. on the and threw the gifts blew the horn, sister's house, my by drove the kids in the car, Piled perfect holiday last year. had theIhate.I days at people from smiling for fivesore face a getI a big pain in the ass. Christmas isMe? family man. guess you're the last trueI BILL

by May. thing can be in thatweheater, With the ground thaws.the soon as work as so they'll start down hundred dollar depositfive seventy-a ahead and putwent I covered. coming, it'scheck bonus But with thePlenty.Bill. on happiness,a priceCan't put CLARK

back? you gonna set Boy, what's it BILL

summer resort.own private turn the old homestead into our I'm gonna Ellen and the kids. my Christmas present forIt's CLARK

Clark admires the brochure over Bill's shoulder.

STATIONCOFFEE- CORRIDOR-OFFICEINT. B67

march down the hall. wedge of black wingtipsflyingA

·:k A proud smile.

-;•: CLARK- CLOSEUP

i r-------------------------------------.

My pleasure. CLARK

day. end of theme by the have it to summary anda briefme upWrite group and I'd like to mention it. a trade speech toa I'm giving FRANK

Yes, sir. CLARK

varnish? on the non-nutritive cereal

was workingone who Are you the FRANK

Pardon me. CLARK

Who asked? FRANK C7

* \.

Clark. My name's That's Bill, sir. CLARK

Bill exits.

to work.

Get back Nice to see you.Clark.

(to Bill) FRANK

Clark. BILL

Shirley.Mr. and corrects He clears his throat

BILL- CLOSEUP

... Clem FRANK

* suddenly.men stopThe serious purpose. * military precision andwithThey marchMBAs.clean-cut * His minions are young, stone-faced man in middle age. * a stern, Shirley isback. few stepsa shouldershis * MEN offYOUNGtwoand the point SHIRLEY atW.FRANKsee * CAMERA RISES toa corner.round The marching wingtips

67 FEET- CLOSEUP- CORRIDOR-OFFICEINT. 67

on Santa's laps.Screaming kidsD)

Cash registers ringing.C)

downtown department store.CrowdedB)

Salvation Army band playing.A)

68 MONTAGE HOLIDAY68

UP ••.MUSIC

checks. and he signs the

but at least he's fairthe world,

guy in He may not be the warmest

CLARK

foolish. He feelsdown.coffee Clark sets hisThey exit.

won't, sir.I

CLARK

my speech, Bill.Don't forgetOh.

FRANK

Corporate cards.

(to Frank) MAN YOUNG

Young Men. one of theto

confused beat then looksaClark forShirley stares at

remembered us.you flattered that areI and My family other day. card the We got your Christmas CLARK

back to Clark.and turns Shirley stops

Shirley?Mr.

CLARK

down the corridor. and his bootlicks startShirley

Yes, sir. CLARK

understands. nobody inside bullshit jargon that None of that Layman's terms. FRANK

in here, isn't it? \ warm It's hotter than they are. any less hooter ...stores were shopping season if theChristmas be the guess it wouldn'tI CLARK

He's very uncomfortable and warm.He straightens up.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Girlfriend? For your wife? WOMAN

Uh. CLARK

delicates. theat looking Clark's bent over a display case,

something?show youCan I WOMAN

WOMAN.young a beautifulTOUPMOVE Cleavage,

POV CLARK'S

Freezes.up.looksHe a display case. He's peering into \

NIGHT- CLARK

69 - CLOSEUP- DEPARTMENTLINGERIE-STORE DEPARTMENTINT.69

Etc. shopping bags at his side. with bulging Businessman asleep in the mattress dept.N)

rubbing sore feet.HandsM)

changing hands.cards Cash and creditL)

crying child.Lost,K)

Gift wrapping.J)

on store counters. Heaps of purchasesI)

counter.a Santas having lunch atH)

Businessmen testing toys.G)

Shoppers in and out of revolving doors.F)

Garish displays.E)

(MORE) log.a have don'tI log.a mean didn'tI log.a Not .in yulelog. As Yule. Yuletide. Christmas. Which is to sayAdulthood. corrects himself) and (winces shopping days left until adultery. there's plenty ofandunderwear obviously she doesn't wear And Her wife. my mother.for ... something was just looking forI CLARK

on. He ignores the question and carries see if anyone's listening to the conversation.shoulder to He looks over hisHe wheezes. Clark's jaw drops.

out for you? me to take anythingyou wantDo WOMAN

Gesundheit. CLARK

me? Excuse (puzzled) WOMAN

couldn't help it.Iknow,You CLARK

something? looking atYou wereSo. WOMAN

an uncomfortable silence.There's

Could be! CLARK

cold out? Because it's WOMAN

happen? How did thatdo.ISure staring) (catches himself Do I? CLARK

on. have your coatYou WOMAN

She realizes he's nervous.Woman smiles.The

--- -------

These are cut high on the hip. (to Clark)

MARY

Rusty approaches the counter and Clark.

70 COUNTER LINGERIE-STORE DEPARTMENTINT.70

Clark with suspicious curiosity.He watches

C70 RUSTY- CLOSEUP-STORE DEPARTMENTINT.C70

him a miniscule pair of panties.

* showingMary's and enjoying himself.laughingClark's

counter. crowd he sees Clark at the lingerieTHROUGH the

B70 DEPT. LINGERIE-POV RUSTY'S-STORE DEPARTMENTINT.B70

Clark. looking for arms, package in hiscrowds, moving through theHe's

A70 RUSTY- STORE DEPARTMENTINT.A70

New Year.happyaAnd WOMAN

Christmas. d CLARK

Mary. WOMAN

on her chest. to the name plateShe points

Huh? CLARK

name.my That's WOMAN

merry.Uh, be huge. season to and boy, 'tis this ever thelog my and I've _enjoyed talking about and busty been very helpfulyou've I'm late and In other words, CLARK

brow with the back of his hand.Clark mops his

said it.I said whenI meaning what said but notWhich I said.I thinkI you thinkthat do but not in the senseImean,I (CONT'D)CLARK

69 2)( CONTINUED:69

••

(MORE)

top heavy. ...

and skinny andSo talllooking.

Unusual That wasn't fair of me. CLARK

Funny-looking? RUSTY

so helpful. back there was funny-looking galAnd thatdone. a lot of shoppinggetIdidBoy, CLARK

to explain himself to Rusty. he triesassweat Clark's in a nervouslingerie boxes. Clark and Rusty walk through the store loaded with

A71 STORE DEPARTMENTINT.A71

Hyew! CLARK

Complete terror. Looking at Rusty.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Looking at Clark.

RUSTY- CLOSEUP

around to Rusty.he~dsnaps hisHebulge.

eyesHis It registers that he's just addressed Rusty.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Dad. Yeah, RUSTY

Russ? Can you see the line, CLARK

Clark turns to Rusty.

yeah.Oh, CLARK

Can you see the line?similar. I'm wearing something very MARY

and displays her bottom.aroundShe turns

30. 4/20/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

• •

A clear, bright Saturday morning.

A72 MORNING-HOUSE GRISWOLDEXT.A72

71 OMITTED71

They both rub their stinging cheeks.up. Their hair is messed-and Clark walk out.and Rustybeat

A SLAPS.SHARP and a pair ofSHRIEK a collectivethere's

O.S. LADIES. a brass sign --we readAs it closes through the door.and walksHe turns A nervous smile.

C71 CLARK- CLOSEUPROOM - LADIES'-STORE DEPARTMENTINT.C71

him. She waves to

B71 POV CLARK'S- DEPARTMENTLINGERIEINT.B71

Mary. look back ataand takes He pushes Rusty through a door

...Dad But, RUSTY

Russ. Keep moving, CLARK

Dad! RUSTY

on ahead. Clark shoos Rusty

Truckster. parked the ole dickster ... I remember wherehope IIGee, (pause)

Sure. a medical journal.For likeYeah. CLARK

cover girl material.She wasDad? RUSTY

important.

and that's all that'sunderpants and she knew hershe was nice

But mouth to put in her contacts. open her she'd have togee whiz,

any higher, her cheekbones were

and if and lips the real big eyes

the narrow waist,The wide hips, (CONT'D)CLARK

A71 CONTINUED:A71

31. 4/20/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

• •

from the gift she's wrapping.

up looksShe same uneasy feeling.She's struck by the

C72 ROOM AUDREY'SINT.C72

UP. COMES MUSIC OMINOUS dreadful feeling grips her. Some a troubled look. from her work withupShe looks

Christmas cards.out the kitchen table fillingEllen's at

B72 KITCHENINT. B72

31A. 4/20/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

sweetheart!Clarkie, NORA

an invasion.It's machine-gun chatter.

and and Audrey in hugsRustyEllen, They engulf Clark,

back as the grandparents rush the house.Clark steps

* J72 FOYERINT. J72

Merry Christmas!folks!Folks, CLARK

Clark greets the grandparents with open anns.

* H72 PORCH FRONT- HOUSEEXT. H72

•1 G72 DOOR- FOYERINT. G72

it. and slowly turns Clark's trembling hand grips the knob

DOORKNOB- CLOSEUP

Cautiously approaching the door.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

IN. MOVING

DOOR FRONT- FOYERINT.

door. looking at the frontHe'sFrightened.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

BANGS.loud THREE hard, KNOCKER sounds.

DOORThe Clark. Audrey follows down the stairs.comes Clark room. comes in from the diningRustytentative.

and She's nervous Ellen walks in from the kitchen.

-1r F72 FOYERINT. F72

face. on his terror A look of removes the beard.He slowlyawful feeling.

same He's taken by the on a Santa beard.Clark's trying

BATHROOMMASTERINT.E72

TV. MUTE button on thehits the

he over him,comes As the feelingTV. Rusty's watching

·k D72 ROOM FAMILYINT. D72

_J

\ ..

seconds.30 and questions incomments hundred individual overlapping A squeezed and kissed.hugged,verbally attacked, member is Each family move between them.grandparents as the Ellen and Clark hold their positionsAudrey, Rusty, to Ellen.crosses Clark Sr.Clark.to returns

Art from Clark and pushes past Francis to Rusty.breaks Nora and Francis descend upon Ellen and the kids.Art

Dad. complain,Can't CLARK

hand. Clark Sr. 's embrace with Nora and shakesClark breaks his

boy? 'ya doin',How CLARK SR.

J72 CONTINUED:J72

(MORE) bone. \ on my heel a very painful spurhaveI I (to Rusty) look so tired.youDear, (to Ellen) spend all your time with Art.Don't Christmas. may be Dad's lastThis (to Clark) you? You're working too hard, aren't (to Clark) smells stale in here.It (to Ellen) have to stay out in the elements? Why should our automobilehe was here? Didn't he have the garage the last time Art wants to put his car in the garage. (to Clark) you still like puzzles?Do (to Rusty) are you? seeing girls yet,You're not (to Rusty) to your tap water? you still have the rusty tasteDo (to Clark) up for Ellen.can fix it get the time maybe you If you sewing machine.my oldbroughtI (to Clark) d the radio.pr~ferWe morning. in theT.V. care for We don't (to Ellen) rolled oats. get Clark Sr. remember toshoppinggoWhen you (to Ellen) two of everything.You have no idea what to get you for Christmas.haveI (to Ellen) think it has.Ihasn't but Dad says it changed color?has on my neckmole you think thisDo (to Clark) look too old.Audrey The curly hair makes (to Clark) Since when are you wearing eye makeup? (To Audrey) some height.on better you'd put you Maybe if your Mom'd feed (to Rusty) it? see Did you show on skinny women.aOprah did (to Ellen) you? how are sweetheart,Clarkie, NORA

arrival. DIALOGUE for grandparents'OVERLAPPING

* J72 ( 2 ) CONTINUED :J72

33A.

(MORE) know the pain I'm enduring.and you'll on your backand land Jump off your roof (to Clark) Pete? condo in St.one-bedrooma You know how much they wanted for (to Ellen) cornball jokes. another of our holidays with his You might mention to your dad not to ruin (to Clark) a light year for gifts.going to be bought the Lincoln, it'sSince I (to Ellen) lawsuit?a You looking for and feathered. Whoever shovels your walk oughta be tarred (to Clark) on the ride over here.in height inchestwo I lost My back's killing me. (to Clark) a fairy? Your dad still trying to turn you into (to Rusty) kiddo. me an Eskimo kiss,Give (to Audrey) gramps? a kiss foryou got Hey, pal, (to Rusty) damn bunk beds. I'm not sleeping in any (to Clark) bushes? d on your rosecones come you didn't putHow (to Clark) so I'm taking the garage space. good half secondadad bybeat yourI (to Clark) on your porch. a little paintYou could use (to Clark) somebody breaks their skull. You better salt your walk before (to Clark) never with your back. Lift with your knees, (to Rusty) lower back.myfrom a pint of fluidThey drained (to Audrey) What's your hot water situation? (To Ellen) I'm parking the Lincoln in the garage. so you tell ClarkGriswold herebeatI (to Ellen) a big kiss!megive Dearest sweetheart, (to Ellen) ART

bunk beds. making us sleep in theinto you talked Clark a nightmare thathadI (to Ellen) (CONT'D)NORA

-1: J72 ( 3 ) CONTINUED :J72

33B.

(MORE)

you? You're not listening to that devil music are

(to Audrey) cookies this year.makingof;your mother out two of us can't talksee if theLet's (to Clark) south for the holidays. go conco to on the Floridaenough deal gooda odds Art couldn't getI'll lay you (to Clark) back. sympathy for hisanywanthe doesn't and he said talked to your grandpa ArtI (to Rusty) hills! Looks like those mosquito bites turned into mole (to Audrey) · anymore.top

mom up don't have the strength to boost yourI Clark. Don't stick us in.those bunk beds again,

(to Clark) complaining.immune to oughta be in the hospital where folks are

he much pain, If he's in so us to believe.

much pain as he likesbe in asYour dad can't (to Ellen) Get it? 'Don't back up!'he said?know what

you Don Mattingly the other day andran intoI

(to Rusty) C7

improving? my eyesight you getting prettier or isAre

\ (to Ellen) so lovely.look justYou sweetheart.there,Hi, (to Ellen) see you.good toIt'sson. Merry Christmas, (to Clark) CLARK SR.

a sinus condition.haveI a lot of moisture in the air.needI (to Ellen) seventy-two.like it atI on heat. a nickel and save Don't try (to Clark) a lot of fish. mother's eating and your low-sodium dietaI'm on (to Ellen) You look weary. (to Ellen) a talk. gonna have to haveWe're Grandma said you're dating fellas. (to Audrey) a senior discount? Does your pharmacy offer (to Ellen) huh? some weight,on Your mom's put Clark)(to (CONT'D)ART

-.•: J72 (4) CONTINUED:J72

33C.

on Christmas.up nice hope you'll dressI (to Audrey) no color in her cheeks.Ellen has (to Clark) You have no color in your cheeks. (to Ellen) down ...ruba If Dad needs (to Clark) my scalp.scaldedgal that polish Not after going to your place again.I'm not my hair done but I'm going to need to get (to Ellen) They say pizza is very high in sodium. (to Audrey) school jobs. All the boys in our neighborhood have after (to Rusty) she gone deaf? to ask but has I didn't want Nora aged?· Poor thing.Hasn't (to Ellen) a lunatic. Your dad drives like Clark)(to Are you getting enough fresh air and sunshine? (to Rusty) and open-mouth kissing.about disease clipped an article for you in our paperI (to Audrey) He's unbearable!thing. back nearly left your father over thisI (to Ellen) work? heavydo Are you making her (to Clark) look so haggard.Yousweet girl.myOh, (to Ellen) FRANCIS

an indoor walk?can go take Mom and I good mall whereayou haveDo (to Clark) up with cheese like last time.usDon't fill (to Ellen) Made ten bucks. humorous story to the Reader's Digest.

a He sold remember Fred Lorraine?youDo

(to Clark) dinner. and an early a late breakfastWe like (to Clark) on towels this year.Don't short us (to Ellen) you this year? old Santa to bringwantyoudoWhat (to Rusty) n (CONT'D)SR.CLARK

* J72 ( 5 ) CONTINUED:J72

33D.

■■

Dad. a lot of lights,That's RUSTY

lights. a strand ofout Clark reaches into the carton and pulls

Russ. house in town, gonna have the best-lookingWe're CLARK

down. Rusty sets the cartonhouse. Clark leans the ladder against thetheir winter gear. Clark and Rusty are wearingand decorations.lights huge carton ofawithfollowsRusty extension ladder. out carrying ancomesand Clarkopens The garage door

73 LATER- GARAGE- HOUSE CLARK'SEXT. 73

A73 A73 & & 72 OMITTED72

family alone. stunned door leaving hisout the frontClark exits

few hours.aFor be outside. d I'll gonna be great.It'sabout. Christmas is allwhatThis is CLARK

He smiles.senses. comes to hisHe

CLARK- CLOSEUP

on each cheek.print large, distinct lipstickaHe hassame expression.The

RUSTY- CLOSEUP

up. hair's messed

Her catatonic expression. She's wearing an identical,

AUDREY- CLOSEUP

a stare. her eyes fixed infrozen,Her face is

ELLEN- CLOSEUP

through. tornado passedathoughasIt's standing stock still. and RustyAudreyEllen, leaving Clark,way,theall en masse yakkingup the stairsthey exitthey arrive,As

J7 2 ( 6 ) CONTINUED:J72

34. 4/19/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

••

sending Clark crashing to the ground.collapses, he gets to the top of the ladder, itAsbehind him. a strand of lightsdragging climbing the ladder,Clark's

75 DAY- POV MARGO'SANDTODD- HOUSE GRISWOLDEXT.75

enough to have him breaklucky for sure but we're notHe'll fall

TODD

neck. and breaks hishope he fallsI

MARGO

They're dressed for an evening out. They exit their house noticing Clark on the ladder.

A75 DRIVEWAY-HOUSE MARGO'SANDTODDEXT. A75

d

74 OMITTED74

from the carton. ball of tangled lights a three-foot on the strand pullingtugaClark gives

something? ever overdoneIWhen have CLARK

Dad? you, gonna overdo it areYou're not RUSTY

do. Sure you CLARK

guess ...I-Yeah, RUSTY

you? don't can be proud of,something you You want I'm gonna do it big. and do it rightI'm gonnahouse, committed to decorating the and I'm If I'm out in the cold CLARK

35. 4/19/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

louder. The snoring getsVOLUME again.UP the Francis turns

' know. don'tI FRANCIS

The snoring gets louder.VOLUME more.UP theNora turns

from 'Jeopardy'? Is that the fella NORA

louder. becomes The snoring TV-. on the LOUDER VOLUME·the .controls· Francis reinote ..··i.·-:~...'·.. _. a~yway.~stale They're ·n.ANc'is.

_,,.:.• '. ~<'es incr.eassnoring The•..TV .the u1ton VOLUMEthe- controls Nora remote • ~-';,.\~';..::-'\.--·-:::\-~'.~/!,'_,..,·>-.::;,. ·. -~.1 ·.-·~· roof~ for theleft..anyhave·:won'twe If you keep eating the shingles - NORA

They have gingerbread house.pre_fab·they construct aas

TV Nora and Francis are watching a Christmas parade on

They' re snoring.chairs. Art asleep in wing·andClark Sr.

76 DUSK ROOM· FAMILYINT. 76

E76 E76 thru thru C76 OMITTEDC76

::.·,·I'.·:·•'C'"-,

to the roof. light·st:rands·:staplingbeginsandup climbs back ladder against. the house,:,theresetsClark ·:. ..·..•.··-~-,~_·_.·....--_.:.··,.',..·:,__,~:..·_·~---:-....·._··_._,,:-·•·;~:-,:'',•.. ·.·_,·..-~~.

B76 _-: HC>USE. GR.ISWOLDEXT.B76

-.prevent Christmas lights.:togoing -._ not we' re the neighborhood.,of. and dogs out If ·we can't keep kids MARGO

·•. lights ordinance prohibiting ourdoors some sort of There should be TODD

They're irritated and fussy,

A76 AND.MARGOTODD- CLOSEUP CHESTER HOUSE -EXT.A76

36. 4/18/89R.ev. VACATION· CHRISTMAS

·•·•-.........···•-···-.....--...~···-____......·.•·-·-·;,,.,.J....1,.:,.,.....................·.........i.../4¼.,'i..o."-•w.c.l-......··.,_...~..,.....,............._....··••..•..,,._................··,...·____,.....«••·-•-'••"··~..;..-..·······~·-·~·-·--···'.......'•J.;~..........·__..,_..•.

lawn. him on theJust put CLARK / lights. \ on the spine of the roof where he's staplingClark is

HOUSEEXT.

Santa? do you want theWhereDad? RUSTY

plastic Santa. a six-foot-tall out of the garage carryingcomesRusty

ABO 'NIGHT.~:>:.-,GARAGE•.EXTABO

79 ...·. 79

·..... OMITTED:.

* · "·,·..·.•,·..·.:t'-"·····:..-1ir-;;,...,,;,•).;'•:·.:~'-.llindow·.,,,./·•,,.,.the:into

:slamming Clark·housethel>a'ck\intocrashes·.ladderin, the

pulls himselfslowlyAs he.lights~--o.f.st.randa.tolife

holding on for. dearladder,.,the-withstrugglingsee Clark

we street·,the·facesthat window· bedroomthe THROUGH

78 NIGHT-. BED,ROOMMASTER INT. /EXT.78

* ..,·,r.~.,....,

· ·.-i,· house. ·

the ladder) ·back up to the{andline to pull himself

safetya and uses it aslights ally stapled strand of

the parti-grabshetree, into.the he crashes backwards

Right before from the house.back.awayladdertheand

upsets his balance, tilting ClarkThisstaple loose.

free himself he pulls the sleeve and theTolizes him.

temporarily stabi-Thi·s·· staples his sleeve to the .roof.

into the house he (accidentally)l~anshe·Asthe ground •.

on '.backladderthe.offeet·the'a··f..<bot.h•getto· struggles

Clark -the''.·stapler,,;lighta,.and'1:he'byEneumberec:l·ground.

the o·ff· leg lifts·one-and.weighthisf.rom-tilts.·ladder

The strand.'asecure ovei:-·to•,reaches_,Heeaves~.the

under..lights .ground_stringingtheabovefeettwentyis

Clark decorated.·partiallyishouse Jide·of.theleftThe

,,..,,:. What?.· MOU.·· .. ·., ·· · snoring increases. the VOLUME again and again;'theUPFrancis turns

problem.• news gal with the drinkingto the marriedwho'sguy It's the ·sports ...,.... ·.,

·:;())·'

76 ·.. CONTINUED:·

76. . '.'·.. ..?.:.·..,·:·:·..'• . .......··r..··..:··r;..":-,Y--;,:

37 • 4/18/89ltev. VACATION CHRISTMAS :···.·1'.',

• ..~....._.....i·.•r¥·~·:--"'!"··•,,....,..................,..'[....../.,,.......,···1"•,.,........··:'.,..··'l,:,-,···•.....,..~-........~..

dramatic~ Don't be so ELLEN

•is?; sick' and twisted that

sleeping withyouAre Everybody? AUDREY

!l:ll,rii;a,11i:~:J'J•·f'.'J{i>t..'.

:the-·:ph'one·.b'ec·ause:'tfwas;,,going'·(to'f.i~11 ·•:-;:~·.r,\'·~:.~..,.•· ii:~r!ii~ ,-,~~~!~!if..',;\:

t~?t:;s1:ttl';~~ktt:?~I~?>f;~i~;;Ellen. s

a'hotel:fh:at. ·granclp'arentij'··to'.·s'.tay.. ,thei:'./>·ask be indecent to;i,tWould ',')~.i>'.-~·f_:·:Y::::·}•,,ii;,;;•.·;,'.',.(-:.:_.:>,~•..Ali»REYf:.•'...·:._:',.

:·..·=-~t TELEVJ:SION.BLASTINGtheand the.· snoringabove - shoutto· .haveThey ·dinner.~·makingareAudrey' Ellen arid · .,·:::····<-.;.-.~~1~r:-:.:,r'.:/:'/····'-·:·:,-·,:.,\•"-'•).•..z..;.-</t..,.~·-:•">-;:f/;/-=.{t(~}r.~~t~!}.,r'.-'·,•,..•·,,,,·-·· 81..J:.····:<'1/ ?l·;e '1CIT HOUSE:'••.I-NT81

0 80

•- ;in,the;basement-,t,.:·.,;fi..,.:o_,,··/.-re.they·I.·thirik····..... " tlti~fijl~~t}if~!£ji}0ff ~-;:,~iii~~if,..

,,1 ~:,-.:·c'. -~/;ft>;>:;::.i)JaJs:r~<''~:::t~~.··•'··>t,..-,.;·.-::~t:f;;,:::),··..

_,:._, ,..,:,.. to the roof..uplooksturns· andRusty large wooden .shutter .falls to the sidewalk and shatters. Behind him alawn~·•theon.downSantasets· theR.usty .,,,__

< ?ARD/..noNTEXT. (}•••

A80 . - ,..<' _·';•·\t;,:.,i',;.(,{·;)}-:i(//.CONTINU~O,::_....?···

'': :,1,}_i;_f_!_:;_,'.·'._1,_::::_·:..;l;89;.,;,,~~!~~~:.r-~CATl~J\.;:_·.:,·_._1_:.·_~:1,;iIA;18;::,:o\:..r.•.:_•._·::f:_,,;::_:·!_,,._:_:_~.:_;~•.:.~_:_._··:_:_'.:_:.·::.·_..'i:l··_-.f,;_·._1.}.·_-_::···,•.~---:·~.:~-__i_,l.,_:

:,•..3a·

·, ·-· •·:••-~~~;•,:r,,~-..··1:·..,...-0:•.,.•·•:;••-.---,n.,r,.•~~'•'~,n,-•?<-.-'!"'-'f•~:~"....~:~•4,;,..,...''\fl,'=V-;':'~"'m•.,.~·-~r.~~;Tt•of~~,-•r,"t/~~~---...,.~--,,-.·,'-...~:_'::"!;r."'l"'"'').,.,,..~r:,~·.........~!C:.,·•.,r:·;.:'~1:!'~.

••~,f..,:...,,.---~-'i.-11••'-'--'·-~;,>•-l-•4 ,·u•~.._,_,.~....;,,~-w~-~---;,.~...,..__~~~~~~j..~i..~..~~,~.:~~~-~~~~~-~~7.i~~:~,:_~-l~~~~--~~.:~~:~-~~:..:~_:,;_';;._4:.....:....:...:.L.L"-~~~~.-~~...._.•~.#.-..--~:•

,'..i,:"'..·.;I;_.·,'....,;>'.·,..~• "':lj"f "-;.·.. ·.,1''.

The ice shoots out of the It's filled solid with ice.

I

C82

B82

(CONTI~D) :·•:,·,:'--•.!-::~:.,,..~..-•-;~~•~'r~•,-_.~·-,·:~~(..(/~••,:·1••:...::-•:l!,_':.;i•~,:';,.·().-•.•_.·.'...,.:(•••l•·~ the machine..into··water-~pours.handgrandmother'sA ·.. \ ·;'.,,:,,. ~:~~~·:O:>.;9.~;-0~'.~'CLO.~~~:-:"\-INSERT

ON.i:t. turnsand doort.he clo:ses. grandmother' a handA

-:•·: . .-~.--~·:·.·...·?

ASS - KITCHENINT. ABS * ···/:i.LAT,ER ~o-;iiii><._:::~ISHWAS~--s~ ,,/__\.

,.....:-'.; /;. . :in. _rig~~ I' 11 be CLAJU((O.S.).··... ,· from the bushes. and Clark answersbeatA • '."t·;:~.:•_.•\.••'• I•;•. .•.• . •• ..,f ready Dinner'sClark?

·-.··--_-· -·\··~·;..~{11rr;:~:v;~~K', ,·:::}r:r:t{.iifit~:t~;1-r(:":i[£iti-'.\,t,:::-.-.·-·

c,ut•id.(~<ist~pl!LEllen.

84 ..•.··.·w <t,, ,,c;,,,;:.,,~j -~~~~Ji.::~t]~;J}{t""~':.84

• he lands:momentthe door-opens£rootThebelow.bushes

snow into .the,ofcloudin a•disappearsandrocket,

a .off likeshootsstomachton hisroof he ·hits thehim,

from under ·.out'.slidehis feet:suddenly feeling secure..

·1eaving him go of the gutter,letsHe·his feet. the lower roof is just below··that-realizes.loose,tear

.. '..

A84 NIGHT .HOUSE -CLARK'SEXT.A84

the stereo.

impalesand w-indowsidet·he through· The ice ·spear. crashes

,83 ROOM. LIVING MARGO'SANDTODDINT~·

40. ~4/18/89■-Rev- VACATION -CHRISTMAS

Drumroll? CLARK

one responds.No

Drumroll, please. (to the family) Griswold family Christmas. dedicate this house to theI CLARK

Dad! Fire it up, RUSTY

think anything of it. If they know your dad they won't ART

staring at the house. me standing in the yardand sees by know drivesI hope nobodyI AUDREY

thousand! Twenty-five twinkle lights. miniature imported Italian twenty-five thousand individual grand total ofastrand for hundred individual bulbs per one of lights,~trandsfifty Two hundred andready?Are you CLARK

fun. him spoil his He refuses to let a sidelong glance.Clark gives Art

off. my bagettes I'm freezingClark? with this,up You want to hurry ART

ready to plug them in.extension cords,

two He's holding thusiasm and excitement is unabated.

en- His from his efforts.and tatteredwornClark's

lawn. on the front and Francis are standing Art Nora, Clark Sr., and Rusty,AudreyEllen,Clark,

85 NIGHT- LAWN FRONT- HOUSEEXT. 85

door closes. and thea shelf Freshly-wrapped leftovers are placed on

REFRIGERATOR-CLOSEUP-INSERT

AB5 CONTINUED:A85

-------------,-----------------··----··------

Seething anger. Clark stares at the house.go inside.and NoraClark Sr.

doesn't work. If one goes out the whole thing son. bad bulb,a It's probably SR. CLARK

and Francis head back to the house.Art

good fathers.make verydon't they do washing machines butSo ART

Grandma. He worked really hard, AUDREY

this was. a silly waste of resourceswhat see hope you kidsIaway.money Boy, talk about tinkling your FRANCIS

Clark! Beeeeee--u-t-tiiiiii-ful, ART

couple of times. d

a cords and unplugs theHe plugs and in an angry tone.

volumelowera but at Clark continues his,peter out.

drumsThe Nothing. and again joins the extension cords. drumshisup revs them a twist,givescords, unplugs the

Clark somewhat.Dampened Continuing their drumroll.

FAMILY- HOUSEEXT.

The house is dark.

POV CLARK'S-HOUSEEXT.

* them. joins CYMBAL, CRASHINGa sound ofand the * drama and with great and the outletup the plugholds He and more enthusiastic.louder He joins the drumroll,

Joy to the World! CLARK

reluctantly flutter their tongues. and Francisa beat ArtAfterin.Join Clark and Nora

Mom? Dad? CLARK

a drumroll. cheap imitation ofin a and Audrey flutter their tonguesRustyReluctantly Ellen,

* a teen fashion magazine with a flashlight. * Clark Sr. 's reading Nora's snoring softly.cold steam. * spewing out A room humidifier issuitcases.clothing, * Medicines, trusses,room. debris is all over the * Their double bed. are in Audrey'sand Clark Sr.Nora

A88 NIGHT- SHOTSOF SERIES- HOUSEINT. ABB

climb. and begins to He sets the ladder against the house

87 NIGHT- CLARK- HOUSEEXT. 87

it. do with asshole had something to But I'll bet thatknow.don'tI window) (looking out the TODD

And why is the carpet all wet? MARGO

Something had to hit the stereo. window. Something had to break the TODD

system. looking at the trashed stereoMargo'swindow.

looking at the brokenTodd'shome.They've returned

86 ROOM LIVING- HOUSE AND MARGO'STODDINT.86

the house before he explodes. away into a nearly despondent Clark and slipsShe leaves

work in the morning.

You have Don't stay out too late. ELLEN

cover his neck. around his neck to She fixes his coat

honey. We'll be inside, ELLEN

Clark just stares at the house.No response.

Clark? ELLEN

Dad. Good try, RUSTY

Dad. Sorry, AUDREY

85 ( 2 ) CONTINUED:85

and stops.eye levelto

down He brings the stairsSQUEAKS.STAIRCASE stillthe

slowly butsoHe does down the attic stairs.Clark pulls

HALLWAYINT.

unlocking the stairs.and turns it, Clark slips his finger in a brass ringFold-down stairs.

STAIRSATTIC- CEILING CLOSEUP

the ceiling.

up to He reaches shopping bag filled with wrapped gifts.

two-handledaroom with out of his then sneakshall, and down theuplooksHe bedroom. out of his Clark peeks

89 DAY- HALLWAY UPSTAIRS-HOUSEINT. 89

A89 OMITTEDA89

a gingerbread man.door is Behind the DECEMBER 19. Audrey opens the door marked,

88 CALENDAR CHRISTMAS-CLOSEUP EXTREME88

A sky filled with twinkling stars.night.

on the ladder in the dark of the coldA lonely figure

E88 NIGHT- HOUSEEXT. E88

on the top bunk.Art's on the bottom bunk.Francis is

ROOM RUSTY'SINT.

* back staring up with mild curiosity.on hislayingHe's

ART- CLOSEUP

* taped to the ceiling. * The poster is A well-oiled babe in something indecent.

D88 POSTER- INSERT-ROOM RUSTY'SINT.D88

Alone. Ellen's asleep.

C88 BEDROOMMASTERINT. C88

you little fungus.Get off me, AUDREY

She groans. leg replaces it.

and hisawayarm She pushes hisear. face against her and his arm around herRusty has hisawake.her back,

on She's a hide-a-bed.on are sleepingand AudreyRusty

B88 ROOM FAMILYINT. B88

up the third gift.He picks

A97 DAY- CLARK- CLOSEUP-ATTICINT. A97

coming down from there! Feel the cold airGee whiz! FRANCIS

down. stairs She sees the atticroom. comes out of the guestFrancis

96 DAY- HALLWAY UPSTAIRS-HOUSEINT. 96

thru thru 91 'OMITTED91

CLARK.LOVE,MYALL HAPPY ANNIVERSARY,The tag reads --

TAG GIFT- CLOSEUP

He looks at another package.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

CHRISTMAS.MERRYCLARK.FROMMOM,TO The tag reads -- \.J TAG GIFT- CLOSEUP

and reads the tag. one of the packagesblows the dust off

He looks at the gifts curiously.Hewrapped package.

another gift-He findschimney. again reaches behind the down and He sets it another wrapped gift.He pulls out chimney. he reaches far behind thegrits his teeth as stretches, back around,He reaches gift-wrapped package. a dusty,out He brings something. he noticeschimney, behind the he reachesAs chimney. behind thehides it

and a giftout He takes down the bag of gifts.He sets

chimney. detritus of twenty years of married life to the He steps carefully over and around theunheated attic. unfinished, wood floor,cluttered, a standard,It's

aching forehead.his

rubbing creaky stairs into the attic,up theClark climbs

90 DAY- LATER- ATTICINT. 90

A90 OMITTEDA90

FRAME.OFOUT the forehead taking him clear Clark square indown and hitslide collapsed on runners, which are The steps, up at the stairs.looksHe to see if he's attracted anyone's attention.He listens

Was he in the house? ELLEN

know? How the hell would I ART

coming? Is ClarkDad? ELLEN

them. Ellen calls to come out of the house.and FrancisArt

ClOO HOUSEEXT. ClOO

CLARK (O.S.)

on the attic stairs.BANGINGClark'sO.S.

BlOO DAY- HALLWAY UPSTAIRS-HOUSEINT. BlOO

CRIES.FAINT can't hear Clark's

They door. and exit the front and Francis bundle upArt

AlOO DAY FOYER -INT.AlOO

Somebody?!Ellen?! Hello?! CLARK

Locked tight. It doesn't budge.stairs. on the attic and knees pushinghandson hisClark's

99 DAY- ATTICINT. 99

She's going to drive.

* Ellen's standing at the Taurus.in the back with Audrey. Nora's Clark Sr. is in the front,The Taurus is running.

98 HOUSEEXT. 98

He freezes.

97 DAY- CLARK- ATTICINT. 97

and lets it crash closed. Francis lifts the staircase

B97 DAY- HALLWAY UPSTAIRSHOUSE~INT. B97

CLARK.LOVE,DAY, HAPPY MOTHER'S The tag reads --

TAG GIFT- CLOSEUP

A97 CONTINUED:A97

He sighs in utter defeat.street. down the the Taurus disappearsassadlyHe watches

Al03 DAY- CLARK,- CLOSEUP- WINDOWATTICEXT. Al03

street. down the and headsaway the Taurus pullsFar below,

102 DAY- POV CLARK'S- STREET INT./EXT.102

face. and resignation on hislook of defeat

A He's pressed up against the small, dirty attic window.

101 DAY- CLARK- WINDOWATTIC INT./EXT.101

and Francis get in the Taurus.Art

100 DAY- HOUSEEXT. 100

him in the face.and slugsup board which flips onto the firsthim forwardthrowsimpactThe the head. him in the back ofsmacksandup he steps back onto flies The boardback. quickly steps face with the loose board, going to get hit in theanticipating that he'sClark,

ATTICINT.

It sinks under his weight.plank.

a down on the end of Clark's foot stepsLoose planks.

FLOORBOARDS-CLOSEUP

and insulation.only of joistsand consistsis unfinished the floorwalkway, Except for this attic to the other. end of theonefromruns the joists thatboards across narrow walkway ofaThere is window at the other end.

smalla heading for down the attic,way Clark works his

DlOO DAY- HOUSE ATTICINT.DlOO

my back pill.take canI so to eathaveIMe, drive. canHe You've got another car. ART

and shopping with us. lunch go to I'm sure he wants to ELLEN

must be in the house. he around with his lights,fartin' ladder on theup If he's not / ' ART ) '\(

ClOO CONTINUED:ClOO

■I

and back.front smacking him both on either side of Clark,upboards fly the Suddenly,moment.a balancing forboth boards,

on He gingerly steps whacked him earlier.boards that the He reaches the failed bulbs to his pocket.~eturning

from the window, comes back down the atticClark

C103 DAY- ATTICINT. Cl03

summer. Especially in the

a nice deal.a heck ofThat's SR. CLARK

toenail clipper.

a nifty includes The set also NORA

fingernails.

fella than well-groomed

younga nothing more important to

There's You're right.Yeah. SR. CLARK

thrilled with a manicure set. think he'll be just asINo. hand) manicure set in her (referring to the away. and you threw itgaragethe And he put out all the windows in NORA

boy.a was one when he Clarkie hadAlright. SR. CLARK

You heard her.no.Ellen said,

he wants. That's what getting Rusty an air rifle. see anything wrong withI don't SR. CLARK

sets. and Nora are at the counter looking at manicureClark Sr.

Bl03 * DAY- ACCESSORY DEPT.MEN'S-STOREDEPARTMENTINT.Bl03

bad bulbs. out to test for tiny window and reaches opens the new bulb,a reaches into his shirt pocket for

He inoperative imported twinkle lights.ringed with his

and notices the the window isHe glances to the side

Al03 CONTINUED:Al03

48. 4/20/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

••

\

on the ceiling. More cracked footprints

Fl03 CEILING BATHROOM -INT.Fl03

stepping between the joists.He's

El03 FEET CLARK'S- CLOSEUP-ATTICINT. El03

ceiling. human footprints in theapproximate shape ofleaving the The plaster cracks under the weight of Clark's feet, \.) I~

Dl03 DAY- CEILING BEDROOM -INT.Dl03

48A. 4/20/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

the pricetag.looks atArt

SCENETO BACK

them monogrammed.We'll have

(O.S.) FRANCIS

and matching leather gloves.taupe leather purseA

GLOVESAND PURSE- INSERT

when she dresses up.This is for

FRANCIS

gloves?

a purse and Doesn't Audrey have

ART

Audrey.· a gift for a counter discussingand Francis are atArt

-1: Nl03 ACCESSORIESLADIES'-STORE DEPARTMENTINT.Nl03

A pair of legs standing on the top bunk. d

M103 WIDE- BEDROOM RUSTY'SINT. Ml03

sunk to his knees in the attic floor.Clark's

L103 ATTICINT. Ll03

poster. suddenly break through the ceiling and tear through the Clark's feet above the top bunk.The girlie poster

K103 DAY- CEILING- BEDROOM RUSTY'SINT. Kl03

satisfaction. small degree ofa looks at it withHe an old wool scarf.

up withcomesHe rummaging through another box.Clark's

Jl03 ATTICINT. Jl03

I-103 OMITTEDI-103

the master bedroom ceiling.continue acrossThe footsteps

Hl03 CEILING- BEDROOMMASTERINT. Hl03

and crosses to another stack of boxes.finds nothing

He coat.a looking for rummaging through boxes,Clark's

Gl03 ATTICINT. Gl03

He smiles at the old images.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

a rafter.from

hung a shirt image is projected onThebox beside him.a

Clark is sitting on a child's chair with the projector on

ATTICINT.

light bar. the harsh light of thesquinting againstthe people, A wobbly pan across Christmas tree. stands in the corner. A metallic TV trays.on eating Christmas dinner

room sitting in the living--low-cut dresswoman in a

arm around a middle-aged a pencil moustache with his slicked hair and loud sport coat, middle-aged man with a

a smashed old priest,ayoung sailor,a dressed in black,

woman an ancient Nora, Little Clark (age 9),family, GriswoldTO:CUT around the door.string of lights ranch house with a singlea tract--houseGriswold TO: CUT A title card with the words in glitter.

SHIRT WHITEON FILM PROJECTED8MM

comes up.MUSIC moment.a box for He looks at the

BOXES- CLOSEUPEXTREME

pleasant memories. on the boxes bring backas the inscriptionsHe smiles

CLARK- CLOSEUP

them. throughlooksand out severalHe takes old home movies.

The Clark lifts the lid to reveal yellow Kodak boxes.

BOX SHOE- CLOSEUP

resigned to his fate. rummaging through boxes, He's among the stored junk.foundgloves that he's and white ladies'a hat Clark is wearing an old fur coat,

103 LATER- ATTICINT. 103

loom. section and get her that

~': toy go back to theLet'sit.

Forget A hundred and ten bucks?!

ART

Nl03 CONTINUED:Nl03

(MORE)

~: inch of your body.

every squareand kissof wine

and sit in the dark with a glass

want to take off these clothesI TODD

dressed in the best winter running fashions.

-:,': They'rerun.afrom Todd and Margo have returned home

109 NIGHT- ROOM LIVING- HOUSE NEIGHBOR'SINT.109

'";,':Bl09 Bl09 thru thru

108 OMITTED108

* to the floor. * CRASH MEMORIES CLARK and hisD.S.,FRAME.OFOUTfall

and the projector the box of memoriesthe chair,Clark,

107 DAY- ATTICINT. 107

and turns the attic stair lock.upShe reaches stopping at the attic stairs.down the hall,Ellen turns

106 DAY- HALLWAYINT. 106

d up the stairs with packages in her arms.Ellen sneaks

105 DAY- STAIRWELL-HOUSEINT. 105

carefully up the slick pavement to the house. The grandparents are walking The Taurus is in the drive.

104 (LATER)DAY- HOUSEEXT. 104

from the box.socks handful of wool

a He lifts camera with a grim expression.up tolooks He large gift.aopenripping Clark Jr.TO:CUTAM.

down the stairs in therunningClark Jr.TO:CUTfloor.

to the camera dropsThehim. German shepherd dog attacks A a pillowcase stuffed with gifts.door withfront

coming in the cheap Santa suitainClark Sr.TO:CUT asleep in his bed, despite the floodlights.Clark Jr.

TO: CUT the wall is blackened.Behind them,eggnog.

and three firemen toasting the holidays withThe family

TO: CUT again. camera dropsThe ignited the curtains.

has from the floodlightsThe heatto the curtains. camera pansThe see flames.weframe, the left side of

On singing Christmas carols.standing kettle fireplace

a free- Family gathered aroundTO:CUTmiddle finger.

up his and holds man with the pencil moustache smilesThe

FILM8MM

Ready? CLARK

cord. on the two inputsThere are lights are plugged into. up the yellow extension cord that the houseClark picks

good. look pretty shouldThat Merry X-Mas sign. the eight tiny :reindeer and the

and up the manger and Santa Claus

can lightI the meantime, at least

In check. hundred more.bulbs to

fewa I still haveButNo. CLARK

family? are you just avoiding the a reason or Are you out here for

ELLEN

him.to ·over Ellen walks

down from the porch.and steps She closes the doordoor.out the frontcomesEllen

PORCH- HOUSEEXT.

out of order. on the house are still even though the lightsations, degree of satisfaction with the new decor-aHe feels

CLARK- CLOSEUP

CHRISTMAS in glittering plastic letters.

-I: MERRY and the plastic reindeer and a sign announcing

of the Santa Claus a floodlight in frontClark plants

110 NIGHT- YARD FRONTEXT. 110

Of course. MARGO

-I: course.of shower, After you

Margo) (kisses (CONT.D)TODD

flooded with light.room isthetouch,lips The moment theirand kiss. They clink glassesrobe. a satin Margo's wearing Todd's in his shorts.dark. bed in the on their king-size and Margo are sittingTodd

114 BEDROOM-HOUSE NEIGHBOR'SINT.114

:1 She hits the light switch. Nora steps into the garage.

113 GARAGEINT. 113

cord was plugged in? wasn't sure the extensionIif thousands of tiny little lights you honestly think I'd checkDo CLARK

Is it plugged in? ELLEN

work. don't

floodlightsthe lights don't work,

The house don't understand it.I CLARK

staring at the house. Clark's holding the cords,

112 YARD FRONTEXT. 112

from the house opens.The door

111 GARAGEINT. 111

Winces.

ELLEN- CLOSEUP

Stares in disbelief.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Nothing.

WIDE- HOUSEEXT.

extension cord input. plug into the he sticks the floodlightasClark grimaces

nothin'.goesHere okay. No, it's CLARK

thing? do the drumrollme toyou wantDo ELLEN

Puzzled. slowly.uplooksHe

can't see what ...Isweetheart,

back on, Turn the lights CLARK

It's dark.

120 HOUSE GRISWOLDEXT.120

* a table. crash intoblinded, * temporarilyand Todd,Margogo off. The lightswindow.

climb off the bed and charge the frontand ToddMargo

119 NIGHT- BEDROOM-HOUSE NEIGHBOR'SINT.119

down. slowsIt

All9 METER ELECTRICHOME- CLOSEUPA119

She turns off the light.back to the door.Nora crosses

118 GARAGEINT. 118

wrong ... know what's

think II honey, second,aJust CLARK

Clark! C7 ELLEN

jaw drops.

* Ellen'son. unaware that the lights areextension cords, * continues to fiddle with theClark, blasted with light,

117 NIGHT- ELLENAND CLARK- YARD EXT. 117

* a carton of milk.out

and takes Nora crosses to the refrigerator in the garage

116 GARAGEINT. 116

NUCLEAR ON.""AUXILIARY a button marked A male hand slaps

Cl16 * PANEL CONTROLPLANTPOWER- CLOSEUPC116

a spinning blur.It's

~: Bl16 METER ELECTRICHOME- CLOSEUPBll6

power.sucks dim as the housepanorama The lights in the

-.': All6 NIGHT- TOWN CLARK'SEXT.A116

Disneyland Electric Parade. The home edition of thea spectacular sight.It's

115 NIGHT- HOUSE CLARK'SEXT.115

reaching for the light switch. back to the door,She heads Ellen sees nothing wrong. j

Cl27 * GARAGEINT. Cl27

Margo takes off for the bathroom.

wine all over the carpet! There's Quick! towel!aGet TODD

room. and is carrying it out of theon the table vase and flowerswine bottle, Todd has the cheese, fruit,

Bl27 * BEDROOM-HOUSE NEIGHBOR'SINT.Bl27

the kitchen.from grandmothers The room. from the familyin:runand Clark Sr.Art

* Al27 FOYERINT. A127

* 126 OMITTED126

the lights! Look at Quick! Everybody out! CLARK

He's still yelling. d

125 CLARK- HOUSEEXT. 125

She's puzzled.in.

* It's plugged the extension cord to the plug.She follows

124 ELLEN- GARAGEINT. 124

fixed it!IEllen! CLARK

Clark yells.back on. The lights are

123 NIGHT- HOUSEEXT. 123

* room. light flooding into the * by the screaming, brightmade all the worserible mess, * a ter-It's and water.vaseflowers, caviar and fruit, * and and crackers fallen to the floor along with cheese * The wine bottle's holding their banged shins.room,the * around and Margo are hoppingToddgo back on.The lights

122A NIGHT- BEDROOM-HOUSE NEIGHBOR'SINT.122A

122 OMITTED122

and looks for the plug. She hits the light switch Ellen rushes into the garage.

121 GARAGEINT. 121

The family is disturbed by Clark's behavior.

\

B128 PORCHEXT. Bl28-

back to the garage.and runsEllen turns

Al28 KITCHENINT. A128

Clark kicks the reindeer and the sign.

YARD EXT.

caves in when Clark slugs it.The face

SANTA- CLOSEUP

damn it ...Damn it! Damn it! CLARK

the Santa.

* down and in his rage socksthrows the cordsHecursing.

and cords whipping theshaking, Clark's twisting,

AA12a~-: POV THEIR AA128

haven't the foggiest ...I CLARK SR. d Clark? he doing,What's NORA

the porch looking at Clark.

on and Nora are gatheredFrancisAudrey,Clark Sr.,Art,

127 PORCH- HOUSEEXT. 127

moment.a She thinks for occurs to her. somethingas She stops back in the house.comesEllen

* F127 KITCHENINT.Fl27

cords furiously.He wiggles theBewildered.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

What's all the yelling about?! ART

on the porch.come out and Clark Sr.Art

El27 * PORCH- HOUSEEXT. El27

down the stairs.a headerTodd takes

0.S., rams into an armoire.Margogo out.The lights

-I: Dl27 BEDROOM-HOUSE NEIGHBOR'SINT.Dl27

him. much for The emotion is toohas paid off. the anger the frustration,The struggle, He's in tears.

129 CLARK- CLOSEUP-HOUSEEXT. 129

* 128 OMITTED128

magnificently-decorated house. ON theHOLDwe MUSIC as A great swell of holiday

POV THEIR- HOUSEEXT.

The family gathers around. him and they look up at the house with great pride.hugs

Audrey Rusty under the other.arm.takes her under his

He comes out of the house and runs to Clark.Ellen

Dad, it's incredible!Wow! RUSTY admiring the lights. lawn, down off the porch and onto thecomesThe family

HOUSEEXT.

work. stunned that the lightsHe's

For good.on.- The lights are

Dl28 HOUSEEXT. D128

windows. and· foyerroomdiningroom, through the living The harsh light is spilling littered down the staircase. and Todd arethe tablewine,flowers, Cheese, fruit,

BD128* FOYER- HOUSE NEIGHBOR'SINT.BD128

CDs.and audio cassettes and video cassettes, bed in a tangle of wires ponent stereo is spilled on the

com- A television andtoppled. The armoire islight.

blown out withroom isthe The lights are back on,

AD128~-: BEDROOM-HOUSE NEIGHBOR'SINT.AD128

* She hits the lights. comes back into the garage.Ellen

Cl28 GARAGEINT. C128

together. them backrams dramatic gesture and with a great,wide arms spreads his from the junction,cordstheHe rips

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Bl28 CONTINUED:B128

Clark. looks real swell,The house EDDIE

Kansas City Chiefs stocking cap.acollar and cheap overcoat with a fakeaHe's dressed inEDDIE. COUSINIt's from Art to the next person.Clark moves

noticing. And thanks forArt.know,I CLARK

charming moment of truth and honesty. a as He regards it mind the insult.Clark doesn't

You got too many blue lights. ART

being here. Thanks forDad.Arthur,Art, CLARK

Clark embraces Art.

Clark. It's wonderful, FRANCIS

holidays. adds to your enjoyment of the hope thisI dear Francis.Dear, CLARK

embraces Francis.He

electrical illumination. know about exterioreverything I me You taughtDad.Dad,Dad, CLARK

Clark. a beaut,It's CLARK SR.

spend Christmas in. a house like this toYou deserve CLARK

Clark. lovely,It's NORA

then Clark Sr.embraces Nora, Clark warmth and love. moment of familya greatIt's

FAMILY- HOUSEEXT.

lawn and dog run across theThe kidsfive. Rocky's six and Ruby Sue'sjump out.Snots,hound, mixed breedabyfollowedSUE,RUBY ROCKY anda girl,

and boya two little kids,andThe door opensdriveway.

backed in hisRV is The biggest commercially-available

POV HIS

He looks off and is hit with another surprise ...

Eddie? (to himself) CLARK

He's baffled.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Eddie? CLARK

house! done to the what Uncle Clark has and see out here You kids get EDDIE

over his shoulder.and yellsHe turns

Clark. on our behalf, do all this sure hope you didn'tI EDDIE

Eddie? CLARK

Clark. The house is gorgeous, CATHERINE

Eddie? CLARK

and her.Eddie back and looks atHe stepsCatherine.

of go Clark lets suddenly not right.Something's

... Dear Catherine! CLARK

her.·

hugs arms, Clark takes her in hisquilted car coat. a She's wearing CATHERINE'S standing next to Clark.

your holiday spirit. enhanceshope itI Eddie. Thanks, CLARK n

129 ( 2 ) CONTINUED :129

Ed. Pretty name, CLARK

Snots. and joy. This here is our pride EDDIE

on the flanks.SnotsEddie slaps

to normal. backgo they a mule,by kicked Gets crossed.goeyes a well, Falls in ain't it? Somethin'~ EDDIE

crossed anymore! Her eyes aren'tmy gosh!Oh, FRANCIS

Sue. remember RubyYou CATHERINE

on the head.RockyArt pats

ain't identified yet. they fungusa lip He's gotArt. a raincheck on that,Better take EDDIE

me? a kiss forYou got ART

Rocky. remember, this isIf you don't EDDIE

walk up. and Catherine greet the grandparents as the kidsEddie

YARD FRONTEXT.

shown up. and Catherine haveidea why Eddie

any have She doesn't She shrugs. She's equally stunned.

ELLEN- CLOSEUP

Eddie? CLARK

looks at Ellen.He He's stunned.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

129 (3) CONTINUED:129

think.I (to herself) of everything. Plenty room. We have plenty of ELLEN

Ellen gives Clark an angry look.

now. am rightI surprised than couldn't be moreIcarpet, sewed to the tomorrow with my head wokeI Eddie, if Surprised? CLARK

You surprised?Clark? EDDIE

a surprise.make it. wanted to Eddiebut We would have called, (to Ellen) CATHERINE

chapped. My hands are really shouldn't.I CLARK

die. d day you love you till thehe'll and Clark, rub his belly,You EDDIE

Eddie. It's alright, CLARK

this one's got. dog likeon a saw a set You never (to Clark) Uncle Clark scratch your belly. over and letyou rollSnots, (to Snots) EDDIE

up with disgust.Clark looksSPITS....

HOUSEEXT.

THROAT and ...CLEARS hisSNIFFS,He

SNOTS- CLOSEUP

got sinus troubles. 'cause he's named him thatWe EDDIE

129 ( 4) CONTINUED :129

from under the tree.dog outClark shoos the

EDDIEAND CLARK- ROOM LIVINGINT.

He's drinking the water out of the tree stand.

SNOTS- CLOSEUP

Clark reaches under the tree.

? a fact •..Is that EDDIE

ground myself.out of theDug it CLARK

one? .real a Is it Clark. Honey of a tree, EDDIE

back.

combed His hair'sshowered.He's and leather tie shoes.

sweat pants a flannel shirt tucked intoEddie's wearing eggnog. Clark and Eddie are standing at the tree sipping

130 LATER-ROOM LIVING- HOUSEINT. 130

\~j and the gerbils.rubber sheets the forget And don'tthings. run and get the kids'Honey, (to Catherine) time together.somecould useWe around Catherine) arm (puts his After that drive ...with you. shacking up mind the youngsters Maybe you folks wouldn'tthere. comfy inme are Catherine and EDDIE

Eddie reevaluates his position.

home? a motor nose in jammed toe-to- with four people spend the holidaysYou want to Ed. damn polite, Quit being so Eddie)(to room. Hell, there's plenty of ART

impose. come todidn't we but a little tight,It's R.V. We're pretty much set in the EDDIE

129 ( 5) CONTINUED:129

Carnival. EDDIE

College? CLARK

career. preparing for his older boy, bless his soul, is and the cured off the Wild Turkey daughter in the clinic to get got theI make it. couldn't shame the older kidscryin' a It's too. I'm excited about it, EDDIE

come. would day never thought theIroom. my living actually standing here in I just can't believe you're (changes the subject) CLARK

him finish. you best leton you,does start If he though. A word of warning, mean.I know what pants, if you around if you're wearing short him You don't wanttown.go to d him right, he'll grab your leg and mood catchesIf the hound in him. a little Mississippi leggothe's Only problem is,he?Cute, isn't EDDIE

room. out of the livingdog sauntersThe

eat! something to the kitchen and get Go to Get outta there?Snots? EDDIE

the tree'll dry out.there, If he drinks the water out of CLARK

morning ...next leg the when he lifted hisBoy, a quart of Pennzoil.drank half he we left,Beforehim.hurt gonna little tree water ain't a Clark, Don't worry about it, EDDIE

Get outta there? CLARK

with us. month, it's gain'next leave When we in love with it. go fallin'but don't Sure does, EDDIE

backed in the driveway. so nicelooks And it Beautiful. CLARK

vehicle, ain't it? a good-lookin'It'sR.V.took the We my house.He took my buddy. borrowed it offIan R.V.That's EDDIE

on wheels?tenement when did you get theSo,Yeah. CLARK ' a lull in the conversation.There's

to be here. Just gladClark. I'm doing fine, EDDIE

Eddie doesn't catch the insult.

dead? you for d the middle of nowhere and leave you out todrive something to eat, you get Can I refill your eggnog, subject) (changing the CLARK

cook. gooda and a hell ofsweet gal a real Ugly as sin butears. above her growing rightBig horns EDDIE

I haven't.saySorry to CLARK

You ever see her?Yak Woman.the people's weight or barking for be guessing season he'llnext maybe and he thinksTilt-0-Whirl spreader on thedustpixieaas season He worked lastyeah.Oh, EDDIE

You gotta be proud. (facetiously) CLARK n

130 ( 2 ) CONTINUED :130

driveway. they are sleeping theWell, ELLEN

Christmas with Eddie here. a nice can have know how we I just don't complaining,I'm not CLARK

room is illuminated by the outdoor lights.The The lights are off.awake. Clark and Ellen are in bed,

~'r Cl34 NIGHT- BEDROOMMASTERINT. Cl34

She's struggling beneath his dead-weight.top of Audrey.

laying onRusty's and Audrey.and Rusty TO the floorthem OFF MOVEWe WATER on rubber.SPLATTER ofSOFThear the we and smiles Rocky anxious gerbils rests between them.

A cage packed with They're sleeping in the hide-a-bed.

B134 * SUE RUBYAND ROCKY- CLOSEUP-ROOM FAMILYINT. B134

cloud of dust rises.a up around his shoulders,

covers he pulls theAs head is white with plaster dust.

the back of his CAMERA revealing thatFROMAWAYturns

He over and settles into the bed.He rollsposter.

what happened to theout He gives up trying to figure

ART- CLOSEUP

chest. holes are punched through the bimbo'sTwo big foot

POSTER- CEILING- CLOSEUP-POVHIS

He's bewildered. He's staring at the ceiling.

* Al34 NIGHT-ART- CLOSEUP- BEDROOM RUSTY'S-HOUSEINT. A134

glows in the distance.Clark's house

133 TOWN CLARK'SEXT.133

glow. house continues totheaway, From several blocks

132 NEIGHBORHOODCLARK'SEXT.132

lawns. on the adjacentandstreet have gathered in theNeighborsglowing.The house is

131 NIGHT- HOUSE CLARK'SEXT.131

Huh? CLARK

130 ( 3 ) CONTINUED:130

_I

twice. knocks

* door,a He crosses to a poinsettia plant.holdingin,

He tiptoes No secretary. head inside. Clark pokes his

137 OUTER OFFICEEXECUTIVEINT.137

~•: 136 OMITTED136

Mid-morning in the business district.

135 MORNING- OFFICE BUILDINGCLARK'SEXT.135

out Snots sniffsSnots out. and Eddie lets The door opens RV. and the TO the housecrushed face FROM Santa'sUPMOVE

Al35 MORNING-SANTA- CLOSEUP EXTREME-HOUSEEXT. Al35

mark on the calendar. smudgea big He leaves a sprig of mistletoe.to reveal

21, DEC. door marked,a greasy fingers tear offEddie's

134 CALENDAR CHRISTMAS-CLOSEUP EXTREME134

sweetheart. Good night, CLARK

He's be worse. CLARK/ELLEN

long pause.aThere's

... was rich If Eddie never will.IandNo, CLARK

Clark. much or how little they have, by how You've never judged anyone ELLEN

driveway? parked in theon wheelsshack a junkyard with hisanything but house look likeHow can the a kick in the nuts?And isn't that CLARK

* C134 CONTINUED:Cl34

,)(

jammed with about fifty other poinsettias.sees it's Clark turns to put the poinsettia on a sideboard and

up the receiver.He picks

an important call. I'm in the middle ofexcuse me, Now if you'll I'm sure it did. FRANK

show. helped out at the trade my reportHope way, sir.By the (can't resist) CLARK

Grisball. Put it over there with the others, FRANK

opposite wall. toward anwaves·He Frank Shirley is back to normal.

edging forward.

140 CLARK- CLOSEUP140

do you want?What FRANK

look up. He doesn'tmoney. Scrooge counting hisbecomeHe's

139 SHIRLEYMR.-POV CLARK'S139

merry Christmas.Shirley,Mr. CLARK

Clark enters with the poinsettia.

look over these figures. him and havehereup Ed LefticGet FRANK

conversation over the speaker phone.ahavingbehind it, Shirley is seated room with an enormous desk.A vast

138 OFFICE EXECUTIVE SHIRLEY'SFRANKINT.138

(MORE) so. was for half hour orIwhoforget and my pants microwave I'd piss whenever Catherine revved-up the had to have it replaced becauseI EDDIE

He sprays the bottom of the sled.

forget it? How could I CLARK

my head?in know that metal plateYouClark. on my sled,none of itDon't put EDDIE

know of.I Not that CLARK

a sled?on anybody ever put itHas RUSTY

with this stuff. down the hillgonna flyreally We're than any cooking oil. times slipperier500a surface createsIt company's working on. my based kitchen lubricant new non-caloric silicon-aThis is CLARK

a spray can.shakingHe'ssnow. upside-down on the saucer sled on one knee with hisClark'ssaucer sled.

a They each have suburban park sledding hill.atop of

and Rocky are at theSueRubyRusty,Audrey,Eddie,Clark,

144 NIGHT-TOP- HILL SLEDDINGEXT.144

PA. on the CAROLS are playingCHRISTMAS light illuminates the hill. Outdoor A warming house. A parking lot at the bottom.

143 (LATER)NIGHT- SLEDDING HILLEXT.143

PARK. STATE OSHGONOGGINreads -- A big wooden sign that

142 NIGHT- SIGN- COUNTRYSIDEEXT.142

hills. snow-covered through heavily-wooded,The Taurus rolls

141 NIGHT- HIGHWAYEXT.141

The sled flies off the peak of the hill.off. second and pushesa splitholds Clark rocks himself back,

kind of wild ride! some gonna beThis isyeah.Oh, CLARK

It's extremely slippery.forth. snow and rocks the sled back andon thepalmsHe sets his

Jr. Griswold,W.Clark speed record, recreational saucer sled land new amateuraGoing for CLARK

Clark mounts the sled.

Ed. There's nothing to worry about, CLARK

Clark. Be careful there, EDDIE

works. how it and see go firstmeLet CLARK

and flips his sled right-side up.Clark groans

gonna look right.ain't my hair If it gets dented,part. my under The plate runs right EDDIE

Ed? you really think it matters,Do CLARK

growing weary of the endless blabbering.Clark's

plastic. a piece of governmentbrain but my and ground nothing between the down no hill withbe sailing oughtaI don't thinkIstrong. as and it ain'tonea plastic they replaced it withV.A.Over at (CONT'D)EDDIE

dry pavement.strikesheas Sparks fly comes Clark and his sled.of the parking lot, Out of the darkness. into the harsh mercury vapor light

LOT PARKINGEXT.

A big red and green metal bin resting in the parking lot.

150 BOX COLLECTIONTOYCHARITY-CENTER SHOPPINGEXT.150

SQUAWKING. roused and BIRDS are Branches are breaking, A heavily wooded area.

149 TREESOF STANDEXT. 149

lamp light. through the pools· of street as he passesfew secondsevery He reappearsstreet. and onto the out of the parking lotClark's sled flies

148 STREETEXT. 148

and out. The sled shoots under the JeepLOW.

JEEP- LOT PARKINGEXT.

serious injury. eyes in anticipation ofback and closes hisHe leans

CLARK- CLOSEUP

a Jeep. way and heading forof the people jumping out Barely missing cars,MOVING.LOW and

POV CLARK'SLOT. PARKINGEXT.

way. screaming all the on for dear life,He's holding

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Clark's sled sails through the parking lot.

147 LOT PARKINGEXT.147

down the hill.Clark flew They're stunned by how fast

146 AND KIDSEDDIE-HILLEXT. 146

~·. Al46 OMITTED.Al46

gone. the next, he's on top of the hill,One moment he's

dark beyond.theand intothe flatacross down the hill, Clark's sled streaksdown the hill.Looking straight

145 NIGHT- HILLEXT. 145

get yours? Did you until the last minute. Nothing like waitingthat's it. guessI envelope to the house.· companya a messenger brought He said my son. I just talked to BILL

Did you get your bonus yet? CLARK

Clark stops him. Bill starts to exit.

too. You, Thank you. CLARK

a really merry Christmas.Have BILL

me. day of the year forLast few things.aup Just finishing CLARK

Staying late? BILL

Clark turns in his chair. d Clark? BILL

Bill walks in. staring out the window. He's sitting behind his desk,

* A152 OFFICE CLARK'SINT. A152

Bingo! EDDIE

impact. BOOM of Clark'sMETALwe hear the In the distance,

151 AND KIDSEDDIE- SLEDDING HILLEXT.151

He braces for the crash.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

on the red bin.isHO!HO!HO!words Santa and the A freshly-paintedcoming up fast. The collection box is

POV HIS

a terrified moment.eyes foropens hisHe

CLARK- CLOSEUP

UP. FADES MUSIC He slips deeper into his fantasy.

157 CLARK- CLOSEUP157

Clark and Ellen have joined the fantasy.

156 POV HIS 156

dreamy smile.happy,A big,

155 CLARK- CLOSEUP155

kids are in the water. The pool is in and theIt's daytime.Out the window.

154 POV HIS 154

He's lost in troubled thought.out the window. standing at the sink lookingClark's in a red bathrobe,

153 NIGHT- KITCHENINT.·153

It's late. a single light in the kitchen.except for The interior lights are offon.The exterior lights are cJ

152 NIGHT- HOUSEEXT. 152

gone wrong. something's concerned thatHe's

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Bill exits.

Same to you. CLARK

Merry Christmas. come. It'll sweat it.Don't BILL

up to here.... (hand to his nose) it ... I'm inbonusmy don't getIIf CLAKR

about it.worry Don't way. on itsbeto it has If it's not already at your place, BILL

no. Clark shakes his head,

~1 Al52 CONTINUED:Al52

a better view. He's straining for

168 CLARK- CLOSEUP168

swims to the ladder.andMary surfaces

167 POOL SWIMMINGEXT.167

SPLASH.a We hear to the window. face pressed Clark is leaning against the sink with his

POV HER

drops. Her jaw She sees Clark.She squints. sleepy eyes. rubbing in her pajamas,doorway, Ruby Sue appears in the

166 NIGHT- DOOR KITCHENINT.166

suit bottom hits the window. The bathing severely pressed to the window.face isHis

165 CLARK- CLOSEUP165

She kicks off her bathing suit bottom.

164 FEET MARY'S- CLOSEUP164

face to the cold glass.He presses his

163 CLARK- CLOSEUP163

unfastens her top. FRAME) (BELOW around behind her back andShe reaches

162 MARY- CLOSEUP162

begs off again.He From the outside.

161 CLARK- CLOSEUP161

"Come on!" She mouths, sexy smile.Big,

160 MARY- CLOSEUP160

embarrassed.He's"no."head, shakes hisHerobe.in his Clark's window glass. Mary's reflected in theoutside. light It's dark inside,looking out.window,In the

159 CLARK- CLOSEUP-HOUSEEXT. 159

come out.him to waving for in the kitchen,

Clark She plays toPLAYING.MUSIC'S the diving board. on bouncing from the department store, isthe girlMary,

158 POV HIS 158

,---,--------------------,---------------------------,

almost here.

nervous because Christmas isHim's SUE RUBY

Oh. CLARK

bites it. sometimes hebad dream,ahas and hemine sometimes he sucks so so he don't suck itthumbhis on bad tasting crapmom putsMy SUE RUBY

Huh? CLARK

thumb.my Rocky bit SUE RUBY

sweetheart? come you're up,How CLARK

composes himself.

He and pats his heart. Clark sits at the kitchen table

was. wish II Santa Claus. I'm notNo. you scared me.Boy, CLARK

Santy Claus?youAre Uncle Clark! SUE RUBY

Clark. Sue approachesRuby

KITCHENINT.

Sue. Ruby window to face from thequickly he turns sharp cry asaoutHe lets

172 CLARK- KITCHENINT.172

He's startled.evaporated. The pool fantasy hasIt's dark again.From outside.

171 CLARK- CLOSEUP171

Santa Claus!Holy shit! SUE RUBY

slack. and her jaw is Her eyes are wide

170 SUE RUBY- KITCHENINT. 170

and ... from the water She begins to rise

169 MARY- CLOSEUP169

him. seen I've house every year.this

comes toHe to prove it to you.

days I'm goingcouplethe next

somehow inAnd Claus is real.

Santa a fact thatknow forI CLARK

nothing wrong and we got the shaft.

do We didn't squat last year?

us come he didn't givereal how's

so If he was crap's just bull. Santa think all thatISometimes SUE RUBY

something. Santa Claus will bring youyear, and you've been good alldad.•. mom and your you believe in your If you,believe in him andit. knows Santa Clausgood,if you're Because you shouldn't be either. And think he should be nervous. don'tI Good school system. (to himself) CLARK

Firstus grade. d SUE RUBY

you in school?Are CLARK

nothing.

know if he's gettingdon't

Him's nervous because heOh. SUE RUBY

word.'S' Don't use the CLARK

He's shitting rocks.Sorry. SUE RUBY

word. You shouldn't use that CLARK

Shitting bricks. SUE RUBY

Excited or nervous? CLARK

Sue. Ruby knee to down and offers hisHe sitsa problem.Clark senses

looks out. back to the kitchen window andClark walks

an elf. even afford to becan'tI (to himself) CLARK

Sue exits.Ruby his head.shakesand Clark smiles

Santy Claus? You sure you ain't SUE RUBY

Clark. back to and turns She stops kitchen. waddles across theanddown off his lapShe slips

Okay. SUE RUBY

okay? bed now, go back toYou Just wondering. CLARK

come?How Nope. SUE RUBY

she recalls the day.Sue thinks hard asRuby d letter? house today to deliver athe came toa man Did you notice if

something. looking forwas justI CLARK

you ain't sleeping?comeHow's SUE RUBY

bed.

think you better get back inI CLARK

same place. parked in the

always bathroom and your house is

go to the on your coat toput You don't gottalove it here.I

(nods) SUE RUBY

it?

stay with us, isn'tcame toyou

good ideaaIt's my heart.Cross CLARK

That's for true? SUE RUBY

172 ( 2 ) CONTINUED:172

them. Eddie yells to

181 POV THEIR 181

and waves.smilesforcedLimp,

180 ELLENAND CLARK- WINDOW- HOUSEEXT. 180

and waves.smilesHe Clark and Ellen in the window. He noticeswindow. and looks to the cigarette, spits

a drag of hisEddie takescurb.on the are piled up and assorted trash bagsthe busted reindeerThe Santa, anchored to the manger.ropeaonSnots issewer.and.the

curb lawn to thetheacrossRV, from theruns hose that

a four inch black plastic corrugatedis watching over a cigaretteand cap, with bare legsa baseballloafers,

brown black socks, unshaven, in his bathrobe,Eddie,

179 POV HER 179

She pulls the curtain aside and looks out.

my sewer. toilet into chemicala his bathrobe emptying And an asshole inholiday air. cool, chill ofThe clean,morn. The silent majesty of a winter's CLARK

looking at? What are you ELLEN

mood. I'm not really in the CLARK

you having breakfast?Aren't ELLEN

in.

* Ellen walks standing at the window looking out.Clark's

178 MORNING-ROOM LIVINGINT. 178

kitchen looks like an Army mess hall.

The and Rocky are at the kitchen table.Catherine Sue, Ruby Art, Clark Sr.,Nora,Francis,Audrey,Rusty,

* Al78 MORNING- KITCHENINT.Al78

* 177 177 thru thru * 174 OMITTED174

barren back yard.cold,dark, frozen ground in theon thelaying Mary's bathing suit is

173 POV HIS 173

window in disgust.from theawayClark turns

Al88 * ROOM LIVINGINT. Al88

* 187 OMITTED187

intending to keep it.

RV, toward the He hurls it worn clean through.bottom is The saucer sled.up Clark's down and picksEddie leans

186 EDDIE- HOUSEEXT. 186

shocked.He's

185 TODD- CLOSEUP185

Merry Christmas! EDDIE

* He waves.Todd. Eddie seesmanger.

Snots is tied to the The RV's in the drive,flowing. kicking the hose to keep itsmoking his cigarette,Eddie

184 POV HIS 184

Clark's house.

* looks toHe a strange odor.He noticesa run.for way on hisHe's door in sweats.out the frontcomesTodd

183 PORCH FRONT- HOUSE NEIGHBOR'SEXT.183

a match within ten yards of it.

with gas, pity the person who lights

up It fills storm sewer.aThat's

He oughta know that's illegal. CLARK

any better.

know He doesn'tplease.Clark, ELLEN

honey? checked our shitters,youHave CLARK

Clark sighs. sheepishly. Ellen smiles

182 ELLENAND CLARK- HOUSEINT. 182

Shitter was full! EDDIE

(MORE) one. on that we missed outNo,

long ago?too in India not them people company kill allYour EDDIE

actually.good, Not that CLARK

How're you doing?complain.Can't EDDIE

Ed? How's the live bait business, CLARK

down an aisle.strGlling Eddie and Clark areshoppers. jammed with last minute holidaychain toy storelarge,A

188 DAY- STORETOY INT. 188

worm.a what Jeez, CLARK

management position.aout for Catherine says he's been holding d ELLEN

a job? he couldn't findIn seven years CLARK

seven years.close to Eddie's been out of work for ELLEN

have anything for their kids? How could they notlast night. Sue said something like thatRuby CLARK

coming this year. Santa wasn't telling him that Rocky said something about Eddie ELLEN

Sue. Clark recalls the conversation with Ruby

for their kids. any presentshave Catherine don't andhe terrible suspicion that have thisIClark,know,You ELLEN

Al88 CONTINUED:Al88

Clark. one for charity,I'm not EDDIE

we insist.No, CLARK

Clark. do that, couldn'tI EDDIE

a nice Christmas.the kids want to help you giveIEllen and CLARK

money run out in Kankakee.Gas town on fumes. We coasted into know what to do.don'tIClark. well, that's the bitch of it,Oh, EDDIE

Ed. Your kids, CLARK

themselves.

can fend for himself, his kids

sent the money to the preacherI EDDIE

about the kids?What CLARK

hockey players ...

screwing the preacher that was T.V. and Catherine sent that

me money had back all theIIf

(angry)

farm.

worm and the and the pigsplot 50 footawaskeptI All acres. and the barn and the tenhouse sold off theI We live in it. It's mine. my neighbor?from RV borrowed theIsaidIat all. good going things aren'ttruth is The Clark.you, Can't lie to a pause)(after EDDIE

Clark knows he's been lying.Eddie senses that

shopping goes? so far as You're pretty well set (continues) (CONT'D)CLARK

on the table. centerpiece is placedA floral

)°: B214 ROOM DINING- HOUSEINT. B214

Gifts are placed beneath the tree.

)': A214 TREE CHRISTMAS-ROOMLIVING- HOUSEINT. A214

* 213 213 thru thru 204 OMITTED204

looks great.the housethe curb,

* on Santa and the broken reindeerand theto the manger * dog tied RV and the Except for the beautiful sunrise.A

203 MORNING-HOUSE CLARK'SEXT. 203

FRAME and licks it.

INTO Sue leansRuby candy cane.a the paper door is Behind24. DEC. a door marked,opens Ruby Sue's hand

202 CALENDAR CHRISTMAS-CLOSEUP EXTREME202

* 201 201 thru thru 189 OMITTED189

(_) Something real nice. \ Clark. something for you, much, I'd like to getbe too And if it wouldn'tCatherine. Alphabetical starting with· a little list.Here's EDDIE

brown paper grocery bag. a piece ofoutand pulls Eddie reaches into his pocket

a real nice surprise.Just Clark. a surprise, Boy, this is EDDIE

own. my on the stuffget want, I'll they me what If you don't tell CLARK

... know don' tI EDDIE

family.It's charity.

but it's notEddie,know thatI CLARK

188 ( 2 ) CONTINUED:188

II

out the perfect gift for you. and Bethany figuredmeGriz,Say, LEWIS UNCLE j

We're here!

(calls)

CLARK

a skeleton.now Bethany isAunt

POV CLARK'S

Aunt Bethany. I'll try not to, CLARK

Clark.down, throw meDon't BETHANY

clinging to Clark. She's taking two-inch steps,a hat.andpant suit a polyester a well-worn mink stole,wearingfeet tall,

a halfandfour Aunt Bethany's also in her late eighties,

long cigar.a and sucking ontweed suitdressed in a stooped,cranky, Lewis is in his late eighties,Uncle following behind with their gifts.Rusty'sthe house. LEWIS intoUNCLE and her husband,BETHANY,AUNTwoman, to reveal Clark and Rusty helping an elderlyopensIt

214 DUSK- DOOR FRONT- FOYERINT. 214

ENDS. MUSIC ribbon around his neck.aEddie puts

J214 SNOTS- CLOSEUPJ214

The outdoor lights are lit.

H214 DUSK- HOUSEEXT. H214

A place is set.

G214 TABLE- INSERT G214

them. Sue lightsRuby

F214 CANDLES CHRISTMAS-INSERTF214

Christmas tie.He ties his

E214 ART- CLOSEUPE214

combs his hair.Catherine

D214 ROCKY- CLOSEUPD214

Potatoes are being peeled.

C214 SINK- KITCHENINT.C214

82. 4/19/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

'em? so great aboutWhat's SUE RUBY

and uncle.aunt

my mom's greatmom andThat's your

RUSTY

Who're the old geezers? SUE RUBY

* down at her.looks * He on Rusty's coat to get his attention.Sue tugsRuby

SUE RUBYAND RUSTY- FOYERINT.

you to burn down your wig. want don'tI Watch the stinkeroo! LEWIS UNCLE

from setting Francis's hair on fire.mouth to keep it

Lewis shifts his cigar in hiscrowds into the foyer.

family The rest of theUncle Lewis.embracesFrancis d Lewis. Bethany.Hello, FRANCIS

princess.How do, LEWIS UNCLE

Uncle Lewis.Hello, wonderful. you look soBethany,Aunt CATHERINE

Catherine greet her. and Ellen helps her off with her coat as Francis

in cars. love ridingIfun!was Oh, that BETHANYAUNT

* kitchen. * from thefoyer come into theand FrancisCatherineEllen,

* he guessed it!Bethany,Dammit,

LEWIS UNCLE

* me anything.to get ~•: have you didn't Uncle Lewis,Gee,

CLARK

••

house. newa somebody moves intothat day heavens, it isn't everyWell, BETHANYAUNT

gesture. happened in He explains whathim.Ellen seesforward.

movesHe on Lewis's head. Clark tries to drop the toupee

brought presents. have You shouldn'tpresents. She meansno!Hell, Bethany?

room clear out,Did theJee-zuz! LEWIS UNCLE

break wind?IDiddear·.Oh, BETHANYAUNT

done that. you shouldn't haveAunt Bethany, (to Aunt Bethany) Thanks.room. In the living ELLEN

Mom? you want the presents,doWhere RUSTY

waiting for his opportunity. He stands behind Lewisback on Lewis's head.place it and attempts to toupee out of the hatClark takes the

FOYERINT.

and his hair.hat removed hisLewis has A gray toupee is inside the hat.

HAT- CLOSEUP

looks in the hat.

He Something's not right.Lewis curiously.looks atHe

CLARK- CLOSEUP

He's bald.Clark. and hands it to He peels off his hat

armpits! my out of Get your fingers LEWIS UNCLE

help Lewis with his. Clark tries to Bethany off with her stole.Ellen helps

FOYERINT.

214 ( 2) CONTINUED:214

84. 4/19/89Rev.- VACATION CHRISTMAS

What?! ELLEN

Mom? RUSTY

room. Catherine and Francis help her into the living

sure.Oh,

everybody?hello to room and say into the living go with CatherineyouWhy don't Aunt Bethany)(to

your old one. much bigger thanhouse isThis

Now! Rusty. tomorrow,Not ELLEN

...Mom But, RUSTY \_J \ . room . living Just put the presents in the ELLEN

Mom? RUSTY

* and her coats in the closet. * from Ellen and hangs Lewis'scoatClark take's Bethany's

FOYERINT.

* toupee. head and straightens his * He pats hisup.He looks on his head.landstoupeeThe

LEWIS- CLOSEUP

Lewis.

* Frisbee-style atthe toupee,Clark flipsroom.living * and heads for thearms in the airthrows hisLewisUncle

* dear. speak up, You'll have to

new house!atomove They didn't LEWIS UNCLE

214 ( 3 ) CONTINUED:214

HOWLING. Clark's isleaking. Ellen's is packages. leaving Ellen and Clark with theirThe foyer clears,

room. into the living

go Everybody just I'll take it.

It's her Jell-0 mold.God.Oh,

ELLEN

Ellen samples it.

cherry-flavored.It'sMmm. EDDIE

Eddie licks his finger.

This one's leaking.

EDDIE

a box. back in withEddie walks

got.I what

see can't wait toIgreat.Oh,

RUSTY

them up as gifts.

and wraps from around the house

She takes things have much money.

* d

She and Uncle Lewis don'told.

She's Rusty. confused,She gets

ELLEN

box?a

a cat in somebody wrapWhy would

RUSTY

box. leave it in aYou can't ELLEN

around. runninga cat Then we'll have CLARK

up. Take it in the kitchen and open it ELLEN

up her damn cat!She wrapped CLARK

MEOW. CAT'S MUTEDa we hearinside From shakes it.He box from Rusty.theClark takes

meowing.box isThis RUSTY

214 4)( CONTINUED:214

sheepishly. Catherine smiles

a big treat.in for we're alllooks, good as ithalf as turkey tastesyour Catherine, if CLARK

from the turkey with delight.uplooksHe

CLARK- CLOSEUP

prepared, perfectly presented. Perfectly twenty-pound turkey.a magnificentIt's

* A216 TURKEY- CLOSEUP-ROOM DININGINT. A216

the turkey!

smellingHe's Bethany! The turkey,

LEWIS UNCLE

I'm so sorry ...dear!Oh,

BETHANYAUNT

you smell that?DoBoy,!Hmm!

(sniffs)

EDDIE

* C7

a household.and killfirecatch

* '.

a bitch can't wait toson ofThis

LEWIS UNCLE

me both.You and

CLARK

tonight. sleeping here I'm glad I'm not LEWIS UNCLE

and touches it.outHe reaches

do to it? What the hell did you

Christmas tree I've ever did see.

goddamn Clark, that's the ugliest

LEWIS UNCLE

a polite smile.Audrey forces

home. a cat just like this athaveI

BETHANYAUNT

to her. Audrey's sitting next Clark and Eddie are standing at the tree.Lewis,lap. fat Persian cat in hera Bethany is sitting withAunt

·k 215 ROOM LIVINGINT. 215

with alarm. eyes are wideHiscan go. leaned back as far as heHe's

CLARK- CLOSEUP

CANVAS. sound of RIPPING to the neck with the from the crotchslowlyIt tearsexpand. made begins to The incision Clark from the body and extend themselves.

away The wings pull The legs are standing straight up.

TURKEY- CLOSEUP

Everyone leans back again.

ROOM DININGINT.

frightened. look is curious.and mildlyHisleans back again.He

CLARK- CLOSEUP

own. on theirup The legs slowly begin to rise d TURKEY- CLOSEUP

and looks at the turkey.forwardClark leansSTOPS. SPUTTERINGand theout The gas runs leaning back.He's

CLARK- CLOSEUP

as the gas escapes. The slit in the turkey skin flutters

TURKEY- CLOSEUP EXTREME

SPUTTERS from the·table as the turkeybackEveryone leans

ROOM DININGINT.

gush of gas escapes.A greatthe hind end. He punctures Clark puts the gleaming knife to the turkey.

TURKEY- CLOSEUP

carve the turkey. on and prepares to smile back He puts his a tired glance.EddieClark throws

Clark. Save the neck for me, EDDIE

A216 CONTINUED:A216

Bethany. including Aunt- - Everyon_e breaks into applause

Christmas ...

Since this is Bethany's 80th CLARK

an announcement.

He makes served everyone their turkey threads.Clark has

217 ROOM DININGINT. 217

needles. and sniffs the Bethany's cat approaches the Christmas tree

~•: D217 ROOM LIVINGINT. D217

* C217 C217 thru thru * 216 OMITTED216

him to keep quiet. a stern, silent warning forShe offers

ELLEN- CLOSEUP

table. seated at the other end of thedown at Ellen,He glances

CLARK- CLOSEUP

and serve it up.off itthe top pop do is you gottaAllnight. last Found it in the R.V.bought. Clark, it's storeconfess,gottaI EDDIE

He smiles.

EDDIE- CLOSEUP

make the dressing?Did youEd? CLARK

prepared poultry stuffing.

can ofa up withcomesand through the debrisHe fishes

CLARK- CLOSEUP

dusty threads. from the bones in dry,and it falls

A beat exposing the breast meat.opening in time-lapse,

brown flower petalstwo hard, The skin separates like

TURKEY- CLOSEUP

A216 ( 2) CONTINUED:A216

... America of the United States of~-. BETHANYAUNT

She continues.

BETHANY- CLOSEUP

defeat. forehead in loudly out his nose and strokes hisHe exhales

LEWIS- CLOSEUP

Clark.at He.looks

EDDIE- CLOSEUP

UJ:),looksHe

CLARK- CLOSEUP

pledge allegiance to the flag ...I BETHANYAUNT

Several times. She clears her throat.follow suit. The others She bows her head.on.Bethany catches d blessing!The LEWIS UNCLE

She doesn't get it."no." Bethany shakes her head,Aunt

grace! say theyou to They want (to Bethany) look old. makes hersays itshe a hearing aid becauseShe won't wear love of God and country.for theAw, LEWIS UNCLE

ago? years thirty goodness,oh, She passed on,Grace? (after a pause) BETHANYAUNT

Grace. NORA

dear? What, BETHANYAUNT

Bethany? saying of grace. should lead us in thethink sheI CLARK

cat eat Jello? does yourchance,By any Bethany? CLARK

mouth. around his a sip of water and swishes itHe takes

CLARK- CLOSEUP

food stars. In the Jello mold are little dry cat

MOLD JELLO- CLOSEUP

at his plate.

down looksHe right.tas·te It doesn'tchews.Hemold.

a bite of JelloHe takes a tired look.EddieHe gives

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Clark? You serious, EDDIE

Rocky smile.Sue and Ruby look to the kids for their reaction.The adults

New York. way in fromhis on sled pilot spotted Santa Claus' an airlinenews that heard on theI CLARK

manners. silently apologizes for her family's\

Catherinefood.of his keep Rocky outstruggles to

Rusty cuts Audrey's meat for her.Clark Sr.terrible.

And tastesloudly. CRUNCHESIt under the table.

dogthe Eddie feeds a bite of Jello mold.Clark takes

fork, all of which she is oblivious to.conventional

a replacing it withfrom her,removes fork which Francis

se~vinghuge Bethany is eating with ahand.into his an olive pit Lewis power-spitsmanners,horrible table

Nora scowls at Eddie's kids'food with disgust.cooked

over- through theArt picks Everyone's eating in silence.

219 NIGHT- ROOM DININGINT. 219

pulling the lights off the tree.She backs up, a strand and pulls.She bitesthem.Battinglights. Aunt Bethany's cat is playing with the Christmas tree

218 NIGHT- ROOM LIVINGINT. 218

it stands ... And to the Republic for which ALL

over their hearts. and put their hands slowly rise off their seatsThey allEveryone joins in.

217 ( 2) CONTINUED:217

-!: 221 221 thru thru * 220 OMITTED220

nosing around in the trash. He was probably justClark.No, EDDIE

the table. him fromfeed Maybe if you didn't CLARK

He's alright now.up.got it on a bone but heHe was yacking (sitting.up) EDDIE

Eddie peeks under the table.

too tight. his neck isaround Maybe the bow you putHoney? (to Eddie) CATHERINE

wrong with your dog?What's CLARK

Clark?Yeah, EDDIE

Ed? CLARK

glassware. the table leg and rattle thedog to hitcauses the cough The force of theCOUGH.DEEPandLONGtremely An ex- COUGHS again.DOGThecrack.resonantA deep, COUGHS again.DOGThe Everyone but Bethany stops eating. COUGH.DOGugly loud,a comes From underneath the table

goo-ood!It is little more? up with ameload want toYou Clark?it. am enjoyingsureI but know about the cat,don'tI EDDIE

Crunching away. chewing his Jello.He's

EDDIE- CLOSEUP

She gives Clark a dirty look.

ELLEN- CLOSEUP

Christmas.his last could beThis an old man.He's ELLEN

Lewis? can do for you,IAnything else CLARK

with the order from Lewis. annoyed Clark is The last of the mess is off the floor.

226 KITCHENINT. 226

my stogie? the living room and get you wanna run intoconstructive, You're not doing anythingGriz! LEWIS UNCLE

* Lewis leans back and yells to the kitchen.swallows hard. * She chewing with considerable difficulty.Bethany is

* 225 BETHANYANDLEWIS- CLOSEUP-ROOM DININGINT. 225

you find the other half? Did dough. was helping roll the She Sue. must have been RubyThat ELLEN

Band-aid. a found halfI cutting the pie, was When I That's alright. CLARK

dessert, I'll finish. go in and have If you want to ELLEN

dog ... was hisItup. cleaning this know why he isn't in heredon'tI CLARK

Clark and Ellen are cleaning up the mess.

224 (LATER)NIGHT- KITCHENINT.224

continues to pull the lights off the tree.The cat

223 NIGHT- ROOM LIVINGINT. 223

it across the kitchen floor. spread gotten into the trash under the sink and has Snots has Trash is strewn across the kitchen floor.

222 (LATER)NIGHT- KITCHENINT.222

from the wall.awayand carry it and Eddie lift the chairHe Clark grumbles to himself.

one socket.in many plugs told you you had tooI ART

from the wall.awayMove it CLARK

Ellen. think it's your chair,I EDDIE

smell? What's that ELLEN

The room smells horrible. gathered around and behind. The others are Clark and Eddie are at the chair.

229 ROOM LIVINGINT. 229

on.go resets the breaker and the lights

He box. a cigarette lighter to the circuitRusty holds

228 GARAGE)(ORROOM UTILITYINT. 228

and the house falls dark.an EXPLOSION dim and thenthe lightsSIZZLE, A tremendous electrical SCREECH from under the club chair.a horrendousThere'sd

He plugs the lights in.

CLARK

chewing is unplugged.The strand the cat's

FLOOR- CLOSEUP

something. He notices straighten up.toClark startsback on.

go The tree lights down and plugs in the lights.bends He He walks over to it.puzzled.the tree,looks at Clark go out. on the treeThe lights the coffee table.

from cigar case Uncle Lewis' Clark walks in and takes

strand. a little morehead forIt yanks itschewing. It's still

227 CAT- CLOSEUP-ROOM LIVINGINT. 227

He exits the kitchen.

Christmas. be his last Ellen, it willup,He keeps it CLARK

furniture. the stink in this piece of will not outliveIandyouHoney, CLARK

Is it ruined? ELLEN

Throwing away the chair. look like I'm doing?What's it CLARK

Clark? are you doing,What ELLEN

Ellen walks in.door. opens the frontClark Sr.

Can you get the door?Dad? CLARK

* B231 LATER- FOYERINT. B231

* A231 A231 & & * 230 OMITTED230

'em all. just spent she If this one's got nine lives, EDDIE· 0 \.. the chair and looks at the underside .Eddie tilts

dessert. go finish ourLet's It's nothing. ELLEN

them away. Ellen shepherds

What is it? LEWIS UNCLE

They're trying to see past the others.

LEWIS UNCLEAND BETHANYAUNT- CLOSEUP

the carpet. scorched intoa cat smoldering outline ofThe blackened,

FLOOR- CLOSEUP

God ...Oh, CLARK

a collective gasp.There's the chair.~ehind see what's forward to Everyone leans

some kind of gas.No, it's CLARK

Deep-fried pussy cat. EDDIE

something?you smellDo CLARK

you back? ask how much it setIYou mind if a good-quality item.It'schair. can fumigate thatIsee iflike to Clark, I'dmind, If you wouldn't ,EDDIE

an odor. Clark notices Santa and the reindeer. dump the chair on the parkway next to theClark and Eddie

* C231 CURB- HOUSEEXT. C231

but it's over.distressing, It's tragic andcarry on. Let's justnow. Everything's fine ELLEN

announcement. a general Ellen makes They cart the chair outside. ,d Eddie. Thanks for sharing that with me, CLARK

an eye out.coulda put got hit with that thing, it somebody haddaClark, ifknow,You EDDIE

the wall. on piece of licorice Rocky spit a was thought itIsick!Oh, RUSTY

Watch your mouth! ELLEN

sake. God'sfor wall, found its asshole stuck to the Eddie It blew up.Ellen.with, do anything There's nothing to CLARK

do with the cat?What did you ELLEN

B231 CONTINUED:B231

storm behind. oblivious to the raging firelooks up,He

LEWIS UNCLE

The tree! CLARK

He's in horror.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

a blackened skeleton.has left the treetense flash fire

in- The quick,a cigar. Uncle Lewis is happily puffing

POV HIS

Lewis! CLARK

He rushes in and recoils in alarm.

231 CLARK- ROOM LIVINGINT. 231

room. living d Clark dashes into thelow-pitched poof!aandroom the livingfrom a flash of intense lightThere'scloset. coat in the He's putting his come back inside.Clark has

E231 * CLARK- ROOM LIVINGINT. E231

go out. It doesn't shakes the match.

He flame under his stoggie.and he waves thefuriously

He puffs He's lighting his cigar.of the tree.in front He's standingroom.liv1ng Uncle Lewis is alone in the

* D231 ROOM LIVINGINT. D231

house.

to theup and heads back head in di·sgust Clark shakes his

oughta take care of it.That EDDIE

grate. sewer over the up the Santa and sets itEddie picks

sewer. from thecomingIt's CLARK

Clark looks into the gutter.

C231 CONTINUED:C231

the curtain.

from Lewis Clark slowly unwrapsburned out.The tree has

A233 ROOM LIVINGINT. A233

* 232 OMITTED232

a cigar. Lewis probably lit ELLEN

Sounds like it. (listens) NORA

smoke alarm?Is that the ELLEN

Ellen hears BLASTING for Aunt Bethany's benefit.TV's

the RADIO, CAROLS are playing on theChristmasready,

The women are cleaning up the kitchen and getting desert

* A232 KITCHENINT. A232

OFF. GOESIt

DETECTORSMOKE- CLOSEUP

a curtain down and dashes to Uncle Lewis.Clark ripsd

ROOM LIVINGINT.

looking wide-eyed at the burning tree.He's

LEWIS UNCLE- CLOSEUP

Horror upon horror.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

His backside's in flames.around.turns

He look at the tree.toand turns He catches the signal

LEWIS UNCLE- ROOM LIVINGINT.

my tree! you did toLook what CLARK

He points.

,CLARK

What're you yelling about? (cranky) LEWIS UNCLE

cat blew up ... the down, The tree burnedMom? AUDREY

and upset.confused and Rusty areAudrey

236 AND KIDSELLEN-FOYERINT. 236

& & 234 OMITTED234

from stem to stern.death-trap a It's clear of this joint. smart, he'll stay wellIf he's LEWIS UNCLE

Rocky.come, Of course he'll still CATHERINE

If the tree's ...Catherine? Rock. good question,aThat's (thinks) EDDIE

come? Santy Claus stillWill (to Eddie) ROCKY d and Audrey into the foyer.Ellen takes Rusty

out of its misery.At least it's LEWIS UNCLE

anyway. an ugly treewasIt ART

at the burned tree. lookingroom, minus Clark, is in the livingThe family,

The carpet around the tree is melted.fried. and lights areornamentsThe of the tree are charred. few gifts that were placed around the bottomTheened. The ceiling is black- a blackened skeleton.The tree is

\ 233 LATER- ROOM LIVINGINT. 233

list. my priority shitonyou'reGriz, LEWIS UNCLE

smoldering. crushed but stillhis cigar's His toupee's in his face,

LEWIS UNCLE- CLOSEUP

A233 CONTINUED:A233

Merry Christmas. BOY DELIVERY

envelope. The Delivery Boy hands Clark the

238 FOYERINT. 238

angry expression withers as he sees the envelope.His

CLARK- CLOSEUP

an envelope.upHe holds

I'm sorry.it.

I didn't seeand between the seats

deliver it yesterday but it fell

supposed towasI Griswold.

W. a delivery for ClarkhaveI BOY ' DELIVERY

He's horrified.

BOY DELIVERY- CLOSEUP

you want?!do What the hell CLARK

He barks at the Boy. C CLARK- CLOSEUP \.

shocked .He's index finger pointed.over the doorbell, His other hand is poisedarm. is dangling around his The door wreath with blinking lightshand.door in his been torn off the He's holding the door knocker that's

* BOY in a blue uniform is standing at the door.A DELIVERY

237' DOORWAY-HOUSEINT. 237

open. and whips itdoor handlethe frontHe grabs Clark stomps in from the kitchen.CHIMES.DOORBELLThe

upset about. There's nothing to bepatient. We just have to beChristmas. a wonderful going to have We're going to flip out.Nobody's ELLEN

right? gonna flip out,Dad's RUSTY

about it.can dowe but there's nothinghoney,know,I ELLEN

(CONTINUED).

ful outburst. a glee-by followed moment of stunned silenceaThere's

swimming pool!a am putting inI... up the envelope)(holds ... check bonus With thisheck. to tell you all this but what the tomorrow going to wait untilwasI CLARK

open it? you going to gonna bawl all over it or areYou ART

afraid ...

wasI knew ..•neverI thought ...I CLARK

jeezuzzz?

a sight, saw suchneverI LEWIS UNCLE

gushing emotion.sobbing,Smiling,to sob. Clark starts

a fortune.hope it'sIClark? EDDIE

Clarkie. Open it, d NORA

embrace. and Rusty into his

Audrey He brings and kisses her. He grabs Ellen and hugs

My bonus! CLARK

Your bonus! ELLEN

company.myfromIt's CLARK

your reservation at the nuthouse? A letter confirmingWhat is it? ART

can't believe it.I CLARK

He closes the door and stares at the envelope.

Christmas ...Merry

envelope)

from the (looking up CLARK

paper. He just stares at the piece ofanswer.Clark doesn't

What's wrong?Clark? ELLEN

sudden change of spirit. understand histounable The family stares at Clark,

serious. deadly Then he turns high-pitched giggle.strange,

out ·a He lets check. He stares at theface freezes.His

CLARK- CLOSEUP

He turns the slip of paper over and looks at it.

know.I CLARK

swim. can'tI Clark? EDDIE

it! you all in to help us dedicatefly enough left over, I'llIf there's CLARK

it in the air. He waves a green slip of paper.He withdrawscontents. and snares its into the envelopetwo fingershe reaches With great flair,inflating it.and blows,to his lips He brings the envelope teasing himself and the others. slowly and deliberately,open the envelopeHe tears

Dad! Tear the sucker open,

AUDREY

check. cover the have the money to

I didn't little miracle arrived,

Until this money in advance.the

lay outhad toI the ground thaws,

soon as sure the pool goes in as

To make check. waiting for this I've been short with everyone.

a little I'm sorry if I've been CLARK

honey. Open it, ELLEN

the big one.That's it, CLARK

238 ( 2) CONTINUED:238

Tonight. Right here.my boss. I'd like Frank Shirley,one.have I last minute gift ideas for me, looking for any of you areif Listen, Goddamnit! ever got.I over-the-head punch in the face If this isn't the biggest bag- CLARK

temper rises. away as Clark's The family backs

I'm sorry.Clark? ELLEN

explosion.

fearing another calm Clark down,Ellen tries to

indeed.

That it is,Edward. That it is, CLARK

the whole year. on giving a gift that keepsThat's (innocently) EDDIE d The family is knocked into silence by the news.

Clark.God,Oh, ELLEN

Jelly-Of-The-Month Club. A one-year membership in the CLARK

what is it?Well, ELLEN

Clark shakes his head again.

Smaller? ELLEN

no. Clark shakes his head,

expected? Is it bigger than you ELLEN

respond. He doesn't

Honey? ELLEN

238 ( 3) CONTINUED:238

door. Ellen and all the kids hurry out the front CHAINSAW ROARING. comes out of the garage with theClark

239 HOUSEEXT. 239

CHAINSAW kicks in.aO.S.

eggnog?some How about ELLEN

her throat.clearsShe

ELLEN- CLOSEUP

He grins.

EDDIE- CLOSEUP

the family silent. leaving room into the kitchen,out of theClark storms

the Tylenol?? Where's Holy shit! Hallelujah! (pause) he is! monkey shit worm-headed sack ofspotty-lipped, stiff-legged,bug-eyed,fat-ass, hopeless, heartless~dickless, dog-kissing, brainless,sucking, blood- pus-oozing,ignorant, overstuffed,in-bred, dirt-eatin', low-life, snake-lickin', four-flusing,rotten,no-good, lying, cheap,a him whattell and look him in the eyewant to I a big ribbon on his head.With CLARK

eyes are wide with anger.Clark's

FOYERINT.

right here. him broughtwantand Ipeople Lane with the other richMelody on holiday slumber over there happy from his him broughtwantI CLARK (O.S.)

thoughts. an idea seeps into hisClark aslooks atHe

EDDIE- CLOSEUP

238 ( 4) CONTINUED:238

Eve? on Christmashourat this

a tree going to getweWhere are TODD

and cliched? messy and corny and dirtyare Even if theytree? sorry.we didn't get aChristmas you just the tiniest bitAren't MARGO

MUSIC. New Age Christmaslistening to room having cocktails, They're sitting in the living

240 NIGHT- HOUSE MARGO'SANDTODDINT.

Tim-bar!! CLARK

voice. the chainsaw into the trunk and yells at the top of his

* He lays on the corner of his property.a blue spruce * lawn to from Rusty and marches across hisClark turns

Dad. Good talk, RUSTY

He steps back.

RUSTY- CLOSEUP

chainsaw in his hands.a

and eyes look in hisan angryHe has He turns to Rusty.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Dad? RUSTY

Rusty steps off the porch and approaches Clark.

Mom. I'll talk to him, RUSTY

Clark ignores her and heads for the corner of the house.

house! and get in the Turn that thing off ELLEN

gone to Hawaii.We should have RUSTY

he? doesn'tlook~ He's got that AUDREY

I'm fine.Honey, CLARK

okay? You're ELLEN

could. I simply replaced it as best I so my treedownburneduncle Your Eve. on Christmasopenlots no tree There are coffin ... tree. a We needed a problem.solved simplyI go berserk.I didn't CLARK

go berserk?time you Could you keep that in mind next ELLEN

aware of it.well amI No. my idea.was That this thought)

(finishes her CLARK

you ...remindIMay ELLEN

a tree. We needed CLARK

scene like that?aMaking ELLEN

What? CLARK

he feels slightly foolish for his outburst.

and cooled of the moment hasThe heatdumb.Clark plays

Was that really necessary? ELLEN

What? CLARK

him. scowling atEllen ishands. Clark's washing his

241 LATER BATHROOM -MASTERINT.241

WINDOW. through their CRASHESspruce end of Clark's biuetheBehind them, j \

240· CONTINUED:240

S_QUEAL. HIGH-PITCHED FAINT but distinctive,aWe hear

too. hear it,IShh! CLARK

plant ... driving through a nitroglycerine dump trucka You couldn't hear LEWIS UNCLE

sound? squeakingA funny you hear it?Do BETHANY

All eyes turn to Bethany.

sound? What's that BETHANYAUNT

She perks up.

-·BETHANYCLOSEUP

* under the tree. Clark walks in and places presents * room. reassembled in the livingfamily hasThetinsel.d * and charred elongated bulbs,melted, strand of lights,

A single from the burned tree.salvagedornaments

* and has been hastily decorated withupThe new tree is

244 ROOM LIVINGINT. 244

* A244 OMITTEDA244

RV backs out of the driveway.

The curb next to the chair.on theThe burned tree is

243 STREETEXT. 243

Fixed the newelpost! (loud, to Ellen) CLARK

clean swipe. and levels the newelpost in one, CHAINSAWUP theSTARTS puts it back, looks at it angrily,

He hand. loose in hiscomes ornamental piece atop itthe * and He grabs the newelpostdown the stairs.comesClark

242 NIGHT- STAIRWAY-FOYER- HOUSEINT. 242

exits.

and chainsaw off the bathroom vanityup hisClark picks

legs under her skirt. one of herupruns and the squirrelA beatfar apart. she's sitting with her legs relativelyBefitting her age,

LEGS CLOSEUP BETHANY'S

She's oblivious to the mayhem.

BETHANY- CLOSEUP

couch. onto the and leaps up the drapes The squirrel goes

way out.on his decks FrancisArt women are screaming.

The the top of their voices.at·screamingand Rocky are Sue Ruby Clark Sr.ramshe spray as cigar ashesLewis' room. away in the middle of thedeadNora faintsother.

bumping into each People are running every which way,

Squirrel! RUSTY

Holy infant! CLARK

room. SQUIRREL bursts into the SHRIEKING a wild crazed,loose as All hell breaks

CAMERA.INTOLEAPS A squirrel

POV HIS

A sudden look of shock. he peers into the tree.as

* hand separates the branchesClark'sFrom inside the tree.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

* strand of lights. * a singleand fresh branches with charred ornamentsThick,

* POV HIS

anymore. don't hear itI CLARK

a listen.and has down to the treeleansHe

CLARK- CLOSEUP

listen closer. forward to Everyone leansLOUDER.growsSQUEALINGThe

246 ROOM LIVINGINT. 246

His ears perk up. looks at the door.

He chewing. He stops load of wash.a fullchewed up

thoroughly laundry where he'slocked in theSnots is

245 ROOM LAUNDRYINT. 245

(MORE)

Catherine. Thank you, CLARK

cholesterol.

are high ins~uirrelsthat

He readClark. Not recently, CATHERINE

goddamn things. He eats theseEddie?Where's coat!ame Give room! the living out of We don't want it to get CLARK

The screaming dribbles out.

Shut-uuuuup!Quiet! CLARK

in revulsion. Everyone's huddled in the foyer screaming and shivering

* A248 FOYERINT. A248

~: 247 OMITTED247

FRAME.INTO The squirrel fliesscream.

and theyA beat look back at Bethany.Clark and Lewis

about it. and lives to tellthere up goes Nothin' bitch off. a son of can write thatYou LEWIS UNCLE

from Bethany to Clark.uplooksHe

CLARKAND LEWIS- CLOSEUP

* see the squirrel scrambling around her lap. * canWe up her skirt. Bethany is still unaware of what's

POV THEIR

they watch Bethany. The family's in horror as

binding something terrible.

This one's pinching anda girdle.

me somebody gothopeImy!Oh, BETHANYAUNT

yank on her undies.

a and gives She grimaces look on her face.A puzzled

BETHANY- CLOSEUP

Nerves tingling.on full alert.He's

CLARK- CLOSEUP

no response.There'ssound. chirpinga He makesroom. Clark steps lightly into the

a point.That's SR. CLARK

could do to her?squirrel there's anything else the you honestly thinkdoDad, CLARK

here? You want to get Bethany out of Clark? Just lay still.Nope. SR. CLARK

gone? Is it (whispers) NORA

perfectly still. She lays Nora's playing dead. For whatever reason, d Nora? SR. CLARK

room. tiptoe into theSr.

Clark and Clarkcouch.on the Bethany's still sitting

room. out cold in the middle of theNora'sIt's silent.

A249 ROOM LIVINGINT. A249 •;':

--1: 248 OMITTED248

Francis faints.Sue screams.Ruby

hammer. smack it with the

and I'll catch it in the coat CLARK

hammer for?ayou needdoWhat ELLEN

hammer.

go get theRusty, Art's overcoat.

Grandpameget Audrey, a coat.

i: and trap the thing underI'll try

(continues) (CONT'D)CLARK ) ~

A248 CONTINUED:A248

* 250 OMITTED250

through the door.Snots bursts

249 DOOR ROOM LAUNDRY- KITCHENINT. 249

and onto the stairs.onto Clark Sr.leapssquirrel

the As .she pas.ses the stairs,clinging to her head.

out of the kitchen with the squirrelAudrey runsup. Everyone runs a wild scramble for the stairs.There's

-!: E249 FOYERINT. E249

Clark flies into the kitchen.

* D249 KITCHENINT. D249

room table. Catherine crashes into the dining

-!: C24 9 ROOM DININGINT. C249

Ellen and Rusty burst into the kitchen.

-!: B249 KITCHENINT. B249

everyone runs in opposite directions. mayhem in the foyer asIt's ass over tea kettle again. and plows into Nora, spilling herturnsClark screams,

SCENETO BACK

* on your back!It's * SR. CLARK

* He sees the squirrel and yells.

* SR. CLARK- CLOSEUP

* on his back. ING the squirrel * REVEAL- WITH him,GOESCAMERA As Clark passes,quickly.

afraid to move too She lifts her butt in the air,

up. she starts to slowly getover Nora,Clark stepsAs

* SCENETO BACK

* TOWARD the tree.MOVING

* POVs CLARK I

back into the tree.

and ransc·ared It probably got

CLARK

A249 CONTINUED:A249

heading for her midsection. Snots is right behind,leaps for her face.The squirrel)

POV HER

screams. pop and sheHer eyes She's standing in the door.

MARGO- CLOSEUP

and whips the door open.door handle

the Clark grabs from the kitchen.charge inthe squirrel * and Snots It's silent.back in.comes Clark cautiously

255 FOYERINT. 255

heading for the Griswolds. She marches off the porch,

am.I a stop to it, man enough to putIf you're not

can't just attack someone.I TODD

face!_ slug that prick in the and You march right over there MARGO d

on the porch. and Margo standTodd

-;': B255 PORCH- HOUSE AND TODD'SMARGOEXT.B255

A255 A255

thru thru

253 OMITTED253

and runs into the kitchen.

* down the stairsclambersby Snots,followed The squirrel,

* A253 FOYER- HOUSEINT. A253

* 252 OMITTED252

room. Everyone charges into the living

A252 * ROOM LIVING- HOUSEINT A252

* 251 OMITTED251

plow back down.upstairs and the people that ranA beatSNARLING.andBARKING up the stairs,DOG tearstheand spit,foamspray of

In a decking Art. charges in from the kitchen,Snots

-1: A251 FOYERINT. A251

side of the nuthouse. jolliest bunch of assholes this the gonna find tonight, he's chimney down the white ass And when Santa squeezes his fat, Kaye. fuck.in' danced with Danny

Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-

gonna have the hap-hap-happiest

on and we'regonna pressWe're emergency here.alarm holiday four- a full-blown,We haveno. No, fashioned family Christmas. old- fun, on this walking out

Nobody's Nobody's leaving. CLARK

look up at Clark with· alarm.and FrancisArt

you think you're going?doWhere CLARK

Francis are at the closet getting their coats.

and Art them. Catherine is behindthe kids follow. Ellen and Santa suit.a down the stairs incomesClark

257 FOYER- HOUSE GRISWOLDINT.257

the stairs. Margo steps over him and heads forTodd hits the deck.

a mighty punch.throws back and She draws She pushes the hair out of her face.

MARGO- CLOSEUP

you? What happened toGod!My TODD

He's horrified.

TODD- CLOSEUP

clawed open. Her top is around her ankles. shredded and hanging Her pantyhose is half of her outfit is torn off. the bottom from the squirrel,clawedHer face isin. Margo steps door opens.The front DOORBELL RINGS.The

* A257 FOYER- HOUSE TODD'SAND MARGOINT. A257

Gone! CLARK

slams the door.

256 CLARK- FOYERINT. 256

the perfect Christmas. make how hard you tried toandus gave love you remember all the·to want your children and your family you come, In years to like this. a father to actgoodYou're too SR. CLARK

slightly foolish.fe~linghim,Clark looks at

lunatic only makes things worse.a you sitting out there singing like but a disaster, gone right, it's a terrible night, nothing'sThis is love you.we all love you,ISon, SR. CLARK

Clark Sr. is talking to Clark.

,~ B258 KITCHEN-HOUSEINT. B258

on two wheels. and hits the streetlong drivewayaout ofRV whipsThe

A258 * MANSIONEXT. A258

We're at the threshold of hell. Ellen. look around,aTakeworse? any could it get How the hell CLARK

any worse. home before things getgoesjust think it's best if everybodyI ELLEN

Stay out of this.Dad? CLARK

Son? SR. CLARK

it's not. Not according to Santa's watch, CLARK

It's over.Clark! ELLEN

me off, Art.Don't piss CLARK

goofy! You're ART

there arose such a clatter. lawn on the When out CLARK

He continues his recitation.

·k E258 CLARK- CLOSEUP-ROOM LIVINGINT. E258

a stop. driveway and slams toROARS into theRVThe

-J: D258 HOUSEEXT. D258

danced in their heads.

..,,~*

sugarplums While visions of

snug in their beds,

The children were nestled all CLARK

standing at the fireplace. Clark'sroom. family is seated in the livingThe

C258 ROOM LIVINGINT. C258

I'm retiring.Christmas. It's your house, it's yourNo. SR. CLARK

Before Christmas'? 'The Night gonna reciteAre you CLARK

son. Good talk, SR. CLARK

Dad. Good talk, CLARK

Daniels. from Jack a lot of helphadI SR. CLARK

through it? How did you getmess. a All of our holidays were always CLARK

attitude. happyaand some fresh clotheson and put Go upstairs It happens. okay.It's up. cocked itYou just SR. CLARK

I just ... CLARK

B258 CONTINUED:B258

doorway in stunned silence.gathered in theThe family is

-J: J258 ROOM LIVINGINT. J258

* and grumbles with rage.He mumblesankle in dog chain. * and bound wrist and slippers, He's in his pajamashim.

mouth to silence bow is tied tightly over hisChristmas

* a red with anger,face ishis His hair's mussed,

SHIRLEY.FRANK and Eddie enters withdoor opensThe front

-!: H258 FOYERINT. H258

All wrapped up in chain. jammies my boss in hisAnd

A.man with no brain

my cousin,.Eddie, ... a miniature sleigh andBut CLARK

a close look out the window.Clark takes

should appear ... my wondering eyesWhen what to below; Gave luster of midday to objects snow new-fallen The moon on the breast of the CLARK (j

room. of the at the front

bay on a open the curtainsClark throws With great flair,

up the sash. and threw Tore open the shutters flash, a flew likewindow I Away to the CLARK

poem. interprets the he physically from the fireplace asClark steps

-I: G258 ROOM LIVINGINT. G258

open. RV door fliesThe

* F258 RV- HOUSEEXT. F258

was the matter.what

my bed to seefromsprangI (O.S.)CLARK

They listen intently.

SUE RUBYAND ROCKY- CLOSEUP

~•: E258 CONTINUED:E258

you're going to jail! and He's still firedAlright. FRANK

my idea.wasThis with it. do Clark didn't have nothing to there, fella. Hold your wad, EDDIE

I'm calling the police. Where's the phone?You're fired! (to Clark) FRANK

This is our family'sI'm sorry. ELLEN

in my life. I've never been treated like this FRANK

cramps out of his wrists.He shakes the from Frank Shirley. The ribbon and chain has been removed

260 (LATER)NIGHT-ROOM GRISWOLD LIVINGINT.260

been abducted.My husband's HELEN

She's frantic. on the phone. Helen Shirley is

259 LIBRARY- MANSIONINT. 259

The lights are on.house.Frank Shirley's

258 NIGHT- MANSIONEXT. 258

eyes bulge in horror.Frank's

some kissing?do You ready to EDDIE

looks at Frank.Eddie

* M258 FRANKAND EDDIE FOYER -INT. M258

speechless with shock.He's

* L258 CLARK- CLOSEUP-ROOM LIVINGINT. L258

Clark. Merry Christmas, EDDIE

proud grin.Big,

:1 K258 EDDIE- CLOSEUP-FOYERINT. K258

Clark. appreciate that,I (sincere) EDDIE

... a lot bigger than his brain whose heart is My brother-in-law, (pause) Russ. Thanks, CLARK

Licks it. RUSTY

... did just plain what you as part of their salary, when people count on itbutfine, want to give bonuses, that'sdon't If youone. every year but this a Christmas bonusand I've gotten company Seventeen years with the got enrolled in a jelly club. I check and insteadaexpecting wasI And thanks for telling us. CLARK (_) arrogance. Clark is offended by Frank's

-1: B263 ROOM LIVINGINT. B263

an assault rifle.slammed intoA fresh clip is

A263 RIFLE- CLOSEUPA263

out bonuses this year.

cutI bonus?a How did you get FRANK

moment.a He thinks forconfused.Frank's

shouldn't have.

I some thingssaidIandbonus

my gotI temper whenmylostI

(to Frank)

Eddie. my fault,It'sNo. CLARK

262 NIGHT- ROOM GRISWOLD LIVINGINT.262

snow.the run across Several pair of Jack boots

~•: A262 BOOTS- CLOSEUPA262

* 261 OMITTED261

Clark. hand toup his Rusty holds

,., D263 ROOM LIVINGINT. D263

a halt. Three suburban squad cars grind to

* C263 CARS POLICE- STREETEXT. C263

Ellen. Merry Christmas, CLARK

He lifts her off her feet. Clark. Ellen runs to The family delights in the news.

family. the rest of the to the kids, looks to Ellen,He He's bursting with joy.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

add twenty percent.year, Whatever you got lastClark? you depend on.onesyou hurt the mean much if to get itdoesn't A healthy bottom linefolks. on real you see the effectswhen paper but lose their luster on look good Sometimes things d FRANK

considered pause he offers his apologies.aAfter first-hand the people his bloodless policies affect. He sees, His heart melts. He can't sustain his anger.

FRANK- CLOSEUP

in their innocence. common people who are righteousSmall,the grandparents. the cold anger of the children's confusion,rassment, embar- Ellen's Clark's weary face,Griswold family. of the angry facesconfused, ACROSS the sad,MOVING

POV FRANK•s

room. around thelooksHe He feels guilty.

FRANK- CLOSEUP

Christmas. rear-ended this employee you of every other and on behalfmy behalfOnthis. on than happy to take the rap be moreI•11 innocent.is CLARK

B263 CONTINUED:B263

room. Lewis saunters into the living

* L263 ROOM LIVINGINT. L263

( approach the house.A wave of officers

* K263 POV LEWIS'S-HOUSE GRISWOLDEXT.K263

Uncle Lewis standing at the front door.

·k J263 LEWIS UNCLE- CLOSEUP-FOYER- HOUSEINT. J263

a sharp order.He barks

* H263 COMMANDERPOLICE- CLOSEUP-HOUSE GRISWOLDEXT.H263

and cops. police vehicles jammed witha streetTOlawn.on the police officers dozentwo lawn andTO theWINDOW OUT the from Clark.

BACK CAMERA PULLSCOMES UP.MUSIC sentimentalFlorid,

G263 ANGLE G263

good night! and to all. ato all Merry Christmaseverybody!Hey, CLARK d with a huge grin.familyHe turns to the

* F263 CLARK- CLOSEUP-ROOM LIVINGINT. F263

stream into the house.Police officers

E263 PORCH- HOUSE MARGO'SANDTODDEXT. E263

Thanks, Art. CLARK

Clark takes Art's hand.

son. Christmas,Merry ART

hand. Clark and offers hisArt walks over to

Daddy. Thanks, AUDREY

him. Audrey kisseshand. Clark slaps his

Christmas. To the old-fashioned fun family RUSTY

D263 CONTINUED:D263

Griswold house. facing thewindow room and clamor over the bed to thethe charge into Armed officers The door blows off the hinges.

goddamn door?the gonna have to break downyou're come in here, If you want to MARGO

KNOCK. There's another

you,worm! Go to hell, (yells) MARGO

KNOCK on the door.aThere'sAlone. Margo's in bed.

A266 * BEDROOM-HOUSE AND MARGO'STODDINT.A266

* 265 265 thru thru * 263 OMITTED263

storm in the door.Copsa

·k M263 FOYERINT. M263

by rifle barrels. room windows are bashed-outThe living

ROOM LIVINGINT.

No. (pause) FRANK

him that he's forgotten to call his wife.It occurs to

FRANK- CLOSEUP

wife know you're alright? and let your Did you callFrank? CLARK

looks to Frank Shirley.Hepuzzled.He turns to Lewis,

CLARK- CLOSEUP

company! More friggin' you need. You got just whatGriz! LEWIS UNCLE

* L263 CONTINUED:L263

Helen! FRANK

hand in his hair. He's frozen in semi-squat with his

277 FRANK- CLOSEUP-ROOM LIVINGINT. 277

room. living Shirley and the Officer walk in and cross to theMrs.

-1: B277 FOYERINT. B277

we blink?May CLARK

teeth. clenched Clark holds his position and talks through his

told you to freeze!I COP

mistake. a terriblemade think you'veI CLARK

the family. they search gun point as The police hold the family at

* A277 ROOM LIVINGINT. A277

\'-)

OFFICER greets her and escorts her to the house.

high-rankingAgets out.SHIRLEY,HELEN aged woman,

middle-A and stops at the curb.uppolice car pullsA

276 HOUSEEXT. 276

frozen in a half-seated position.

* Snots is in the corner continues to drink her eggnog. Bethany Eddie is adjusting his balls.Ruby Sue's nose,

a hankie to Catherine in holding a finger in his nose,

Rocky has forward in pain.Art is bentlighted match.

a frozen holding Uncle Lewis issneeze.about toRusty's

Audrey's adjusting her underpants,adjusting her bra. Nora freezes caught in a rising squat.areShirley, and FrankFrancis Clark Sr.,Ellen, in mid-stride.

caught arms out, on one foot,Clark's The family freezes.

Freeze! OFFICER

room. charge thePOLICE

275 ROOM LIVING- HOUSE CLARK'SINT. 275

~•r 274 274 thru thru * 266 OMITTED266

reinstating all the bonuses.

I'm changed my mind.I FRANK

You didn't ... HELEN

bonuses?

notion of suspending Christmas

was toying with theIhowRemember FRANK

on here?going What is HELEN

completely baffled.Helen is

of it,

What's left Welcome to our home. ELLEN

family.

This is Clark Griswold and his

on it.me and these people called

have shouldn'tI did somethingI FRANK

you were kidnapped.Frank, a HELEN

a mistake.wasIt FRANK

What? HELEN

pressing any charges.

I'm not no business.There's FRANK

we take care of business here? Shirley like to step outside while

and Mrs.youwould Excuse me, OFFICER

tonight. a big misunderstandingbeen There's I'm just fine.I'm fine. FRANK

you're alright!Thank God, HELEN

him. Frank and embracestoHelen runs

me. means to know what it I now and everybody different to somethingmeansIt trees. bonuses or gifts or turkey orNot And it's all that matters tonight. CLARK

snowflake falls.A

That's the Christmas star. CLARKI

a grin. up at the light withlooksHe

* E283 CLARK- CLOSEUP-YARD FRONTEXT. E283

low in the sky. red dot of light,A

D283 * SKY EXT. D283

* around him. comes outside and gathersone * Every-sky.the up at lookinglawn, on the standsRocky

* C283 YARD FRONTEXT. C283

Frank and Helen exit.the police,The family,

* B283 ROOM LIVINGINT. B283

d

and dashes outside.. Rocky runs into the foyer

* A283 FOYERINT. A283

* 282 282 thru thru * 278 OMITTED278

Rocky. Everyone turns to

Look!

ROCKY

window looking out.theHe's standing at

ROCKY- CLOSEUP

honey?you, are me, going to fireYou're not FRANK

Frank.

I'm ashamed of you,buck.asave

ways tolousy cheap, Of all the HELEN

277 ( 2 ) CONTINUED :277

lighting the cigar and shakes the match.He finishes

LEWIS- CLOSEUP

Sewer gas! CLARK

A terrible thought crosses his mind.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

the water treatment plant.

on That's the lightGriz.Star,

Christmas That ain't the friggin' LEWIS UNCLE

and lights his cigar.ass

He strikes the match on the Santa'smouth.cigar in his

a He hascurb. He's standing next to the Santa on the

Christ the Lord.' Dominium adoremusVenite d adore himus come let0 adore him come let us0 'Now in flesh appearing BETHANYAUNT

Bethany begins to sing.Aunt

283 YARD FRONT- HOUSE CLARK'SEXT. 283

-;,':H283 OMITTEDH283

everyone is holding hands.on untilAnd so Frank Shirley's hand.Francis takes takes Francis's hand.

Nora Rusty takes Nora's hand.hand.Audrey takes Rusty's

hand. takes Audrey'sEllenhand. Clark takes Ellen's

-;,':G283 HOUSEEXT. G283

Giv'n Word of the Father.' Thee all glorytoJesus, happy morningBorn this we greet theeLord,'Yea, BETHANYAUNT

recite softly. She begins todoorway. standing in theAunt Bethany's

·k F28 3 DOORWAY-HOUSEEXT. F283

sky. up into theShe looks

SUE RUBY- CLOSEUP

Play ball! AUNT .BETHANY

home of the brave.'And the

For the land of the free wave. banner yet

say does that star-spangled'Oh, ALL

and joins in. Everyone puts their hands to their hearts

our flag was still there ... 'That

Gave proof through the night

The bombs bursting in air

red glare 'And the rocket's

BETHANYAUNT

begins to sing again.

and She puts her hand to her heartlooking to the sky.

-;': 285 BETHANY- CLOSEUP-HOUSEEXT. 285

glowing and sparking. The Santa rockets into the air,d

* 284 POV BETHANY'S-SKYEXT.284

looks into the sky.She

BETHANY- CLOSEUP

standing. Bethany remainsdeck.

Everybody hits the Merry Christmas sign into the sky.

Santa and the reindeer and theThe explosion blows the

EXPLOSION.

An FLASH of light.aThere'ssewer. drops in the

MATCH- CLOSEUP EXTREME

the match over his shoulder.He flips

LEWIS- CLOSEUP

drop that ... !Don't CLARK

Lewis. move fora He makes

CLARK- CLOSEUP~

did it!I CLARK

He grins triumphantly.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

look at the star.continues to

Clark back to the house.cheek and headsShe kisses his

Clark. Merry Christmas, ELLEN

arm around his waist.Ellen puts herstar. Christmas Clark's still in the yard looking up at the

* 289 YARD- HOUSEEXT. 289

SANTA CLAUS." MOMMY KISSINGSAW in less than wonderful voices, "Iing, and the officers are sing- commander's playing the piano The police The grandmothers are serving coffee...room crowded into the livingand Audrey areRustyfamily,his

* and Eddie the grandparents,the police, Frank and Helen,

* 288 ROOM LIVING- HOUSEINT. 288

a wink. and gives herSueRubylooks atHe

CLARK- CLOSEUP

real.

He's Santy Claus ain't bullshit! SUE RUBY

sky. She points to the

SUE RUBY- CLOSEUP

Sue. Ruby looks atHe

CLARK- CLOSEUP

Clark?Uncle SUE RUBY

* 287 SUE RUBY- CLOSEUP-HOUSEEXT. 287

the The Santa and the reindeer and the sign arc arcossCJ

* 286 POV SUE'SRUBY-SKY EXT. 286

END THE

OUT. FADE

... UP andCOMES "JINGLE BELLS"of

renditionDOGS'SINGINGTHE ON Clark's smiling face.FADE

Snots. Merry Christmas, CLARK

down at Snots.looksHe

if 293 CLARK- CLOSEUP-YARDEXT. 293

go off.house

theon lightsThe and closes the door.insideShe goes

* 292 ELLEN PORCH -HOUSEEXT. 292

honey. minutes,coupleIn a CLARK

and then to the door.Snotsdown atlooksHe

* 291 CLARK- CLOSEUP-YARDEXT. 291

coming in?Are youClark? ELLEN

doorway. Ellen stands in the

* 290- PORCH- HOUSEEXT. 290

paw between Clark's feet.Snots puts his

LEG CLARK'S- CLOSEUP

crosses Clark's mind.A troubled thought... Spits.

CLARK- CLOSEUP

and ... COUGHS,sucks,him, up atlooks Snots

SNOTS- CLOSEUP-POVHIS

him. down at Clark looksClark.

over to and saunterschase from the squirrelSnots returns

laughs to himself.He

OUT. FADE

CRASH through the ceiling into the bedroom.

LIGHTS REINDEER and thethe-SANTA,and thelong beatA

so cute.You're

MARGO

come. Santa Claus won'tsleep,

go to if we don't Swee~heart,

TODD

I'm so tense.

MARGO

dance in our heads.sugarplumsof

visions go to sleep and letLet's

TODD

arms. He folds her into his

Of course.

TODD

Will you just hold me?

MARGO

calm. all is

-!: It's quiet, it's peaceful,happen.

can Nothing elseChristmas.his

Griswold hadhoney. It's over,

TODD

They're in bed.

294 NIGHT- BEDROOM MARGO'SANDTODDINT. 294

IN: FADE

POST-CREDITS

I """"'-"'-""-'~"""""""""""""""'""""'""""'=="'""'"