Dialogue classification is pending review, so OverBlack does not publish or rank this percentage yet.
Currier and Ives Country. Rolling hills, firm stands of pine and hardwood, barns and bridges. Into this timeless beauty ROARS a new, aerodynamically-styled Road Queen family TAURUS with simulated wood panels hugging the sleek curves. The SONG CONTINUES. The voice belongs to CLARK W. GRISWOLD, JR.
Clark's driving. His wife, ELLEN, is next to him. His fourteen-year-old daughter, AUDREY and twelve-year-old son, RUSTY, are in the backseat. Ellen's looking out the window. Rusty and Audrey are looking out their windows. Clark clears his throat and half-closes his eyes. He finishes with a deep, majestic voice.
Oh, co-o-o-me ye to Be-e-ethlehem.
A-moment of reverent silence.
The Taurus drives THROUGH FRAME. An old, battered pickup truck pulls out on the road.
Audrey leans forward in her seat.
(CONTINUED )
CLARK
Nope. I have one of those at home.
‘What we're looking for today is
the Griswold family Christmas tree.
Clark smiles proudly.
The pickup truck pulls up behind the Taurus.
Audrey looks at Rusty and groans.
Clark breaks into song once again. CLARK We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas...
The bent and rust-pitted front bumper of the pickup truck pulls up within a few inches of the rear bumper
of the Taurus.
Clark continues singing. CLARK We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year...
He glances in the rearview mirror. He stops
singing.
ll
HIS POV 9
The pickup truck crowds the mirror.
Clark speeds up.
Ellen and the kids look around behind. The PICKUP HORN blows.
Clark slows down and the pickup pulls around him.
Clark BLASTS his HORN and sneers as the pickup pulls past him.
Clark flashes his lights and BEEPS his HORN.
He points out the window. As the kids look, Clark flips the pickup a double bird.
CLOSEUP CLARK
He looks at Ellen and chuckles, proud of himself. He turns back from Ellen and gasps. He stomps on the brakes.
HIS POV 13
The pickup has jammed on its brakes. The Taurus rides up close.
The kids jerk forward. Ellen is hurled forward. Clark grits his teeth and nearly bends the wheel over.
The farm boys look out the rear window, laughing. They pull away.
CLOSEUP - CLARK 16
He's angry and committed to escalating the conflict. He hits the gas.
The TAURUS SQUEALS out, hot after the truck.
Ellen barks at Clark.
CLARK ©
You want to ride behind somebody who does something like that? I'm gonna get around him and leave him safely behind us.
(to Rusty) I'm gonna burn Some dust here.
(out the window) Eat my rubber!
He floors it.
. CLARK Yup. And I hope they're hungry!
The Taurus pulls around the pickup and passes it.
Clark smiles. He waves to the pickup.
A pair of in-bred, red-cheeked, young, sheep-bangers and a gnarled, old man at the wheel watch as the Taurus passes. They are dressed in flannel shirts and dirty, quilted nylon hunting jackets.
me of oF
ale ray
n
THEIR POV 22
Ellen shrinks down in her seat. Clark waves arrogantly.
The Taurus pulls around in front of the pickup.
A semi hauling a load of timber has pulled behind the pickup truck.
Clark smiles with satisfaction.
The pickup has pulled alongside Clark. Ellen and the kids notice. Clark doesn't.
Clark glances out his window.
The pickup pulls in front of the Taurus. The semi is behind the Taurus. The semi pulls out to pass the Taurus.
Clark watches as the pickup passes him again.
_ ELLEN Clark! Stop it! I don't want to spend the holidays dead!
CLOSEUP ~ CLARK - CROSS ANGLE
He looks at Ellen as the semi pulls up alongside the Taurus.
Clark returns his eyes to the road, hits his signal and pulls out.
(CONTINUED )
CONTINUED: : 27
Ellen, Rusty and Audrey scream.
He sees that he's pulling into the truck. His eyes pop and he shrieks!
The old man looks in his rearview mirror and does a take. He whips around. His two boys whip around and look out the back window.
The Taurus is trapped between the front and back wheels
of the high-clearance trailer running at high-speed. Mud and road salt from the front trailer wheels is peppering the car.
The family's silent with shock. Clark's in a full sweat
as he struggles to maintain the exact speed of the truck to avoid being caught in the rear wheels.
Come on, you guys, don't fight!
C) The truck barrels along with the Taurus beneath it.
Clark is maniacally focused on controlling the car. Ellen and the kids are praying.
AUDREY
Forgive me for saying I was at 7S Cassandra Reed's when I was really Ww with Sean Marley under the railroad bridge in town.
Our Lady of Jesus, we're about to i get crushed by a truck!!
Clark takes a deep breath, clutches the wheel tightly and jerks it sharply to the right. ,
{ \L
ale nn
ale ~ ale
ale oo
ale “
se
ate "
Pd
rd a
thru
The Taurus pops out from beneath the semi onto the opposing lane.
Clark breathes a sigh of relief and turns on his wipers.
HIS POV 42
Just ahead, a snow plough is pulled over on the shoulder, directly in line with the on-coming Taurus.
The Taurus hurtles off the road and disappears. It's silent.
Peace and tranquility. A virgin snowfield. a long beat and the Taurus bursts out of snowbank INTO CAMERA.
The Taurus returns to the road, crossing the left lane, then the right and off the road.
A large, permanent wood sign festooned with colored lights reads -- JOLLY JERRY'S SAW 'N' SAVE CHRISTMAS TREE RANCH. The Taurus blasts past the sign and into a make-shift parking lot, sliding sideways into a parking
‘Space.
The family is frozen in horror. Clark puts the Taurus in park and turns OFF the ENGINE. He looks at his watch.
Families stumble across the frozen earth between the rows of fir trees, shivering, cursing, grousing. We FIND Clark, Ellen, Audrey and Rusty trudging through the snow. The family has a very hard go of the deep snow. Clark pays it no mind.
Ellen points out a tree.
Clark considers the tree briefly and rejects
They continue their march through the snow.
CLARK
They invented them, Russ, because people forgot how to have a fun, old-fashioned family Christmas and are satisfied with scrawny, dead, over-priced trees that have no Special meaning. You know, kids. This is what our forefathers did.
(Cc
it.
ale ray
ONTINUED)
xp
Clark stops to survey the landscape.
That's all part of the experience. CLOSEUP - CLARK
He scans the forest. Something catches his eye. He's spotted the special tree. A CHORUS OF ANGELS FADES IN.
A49 EXT. CHRISTMAS TREE FARM - FAMILY A49 Clark points. The family turns to see what he's pointing at.
49 FAMILY'S POV 49
A perfectly shaped Norway pine. A long beat and Clark strolls INTO FRAME. We realize that the tree is twenty feet tall.
From the top of the tree down. Clark looks up, and ad- mires the tree. The family gathers around him.
full.
50 CONTINUED: . 50
. RUSTY Dad? That wouldn't fit in our yard.
CLARK
It's not going in the yard, Russ. It's going in the living room.
A51 EXT. CHRISTMAS TREE FARM - FAMILY A51
Clark puts his arm around Ellen and Audrey. Ellen pulls Rusty into the family embrace.
CLARK
Just look at it. ELLEN
It really is beautiful, Clark. CLARK
It's something else, huh, Russ? RUSTY
Yeah, Dad. CLARK
Audrey? Isn't it a beaut?
after a satisfied
pause) The most’ enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm.embrace of kith and kin.
(pause) Thith tree ith a thymble of .thpirit of the Grithwold family Christmuth.
He realizes he's made a mistake but doesn't care to admit it. ,
A rotting double wide serves as the office and residence of Jolly Jerry. The family stands at the door. It opens.
CLOSEUP - TRAILER DOOR
It opens on a sour-looking, middle-aged MAN smoking a cigarette and wearing a dirty Santa hat.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He offers a friendly smile.
The Man puffs on his butt and blows the smoke out his nose.
He points to a painted sign on the trailer.
CLOSEUP - SIGN
A painted sign -- black letters on white. It reads -- BUYER PAYS IN ADVANCE -- BUYER DON'T USE THE RANCH AS A
BATHROOM -- BUYER DON'T CUT DOWN MORE TREES THAN HE PAID FOR -- BUYER PROVIDES OWN DAMN SAW.
Clark sneaks a glance at Ellen. She gives Clark a look. CLARK I paid seventy-five dollars for
the tree. I need some way to get it out of the ground.
ELLEN
You paid that much for a tree? CLARK
Honey, it's huge. (MORE )
CONTINUED: . 51 CLARK (CONT'D) (to the Man) - It's cold, the holidays are here,
I'd really appreciate it if you could help me out.
CLOSEUP - MAN
He scratches his nose and reaches around behind the door. CLOSEUP - CLARK
He looks at the family.
CLARK
Sometimes you just have to ask
nice. CLOSEUP - MAN He holds up a shovel. CLOSEUP - CLARK He stares with alarm.
Clark's in the front passenger seat. He's frozen, blue, clutching the shovel. The SHOT WIDENS to reveal Ellen and the kids. They're also blue. We continue to WIDEN until we see the car and the enormous tree tied to the roof. The car pulls ahead and OVERTAKES CAMERA. We see the full length of the tree; branches bound with heavy twine and a huge root ball.
OMITTED - ; - 53
‘EXT.. GRISWOLD HOUSE - NIGHT 54
A fine upper middle class dwelling. The lights are on.
The Taurus's in the driveway. The giant tree is resting on its rootball in the front yard. Rusty and a couple of neighbor kids are standing in the driveway looking
at the tree. Inside the garage, a CHAINSAW STARTS UP. OMINOUS DRONING HORROR MUSIC FADES IN.
The electric door goes up. Clark steps out of the dark wearing a hockey mask and brandishing a chainsaw.
ate
A56
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/19/89 14.
A couple in their mid-thirties is getting out of a Saab parked in the driveway of the house next to the Griswolds.
They're handsome, successful, modern suburban profession- als. MARGO and TODD CHESTER. They look to the Griswolds, wincing at the ROAR of the CHAINSAW. Margo crosses around to Todd to stand at his side.
They have a chuckle -- a compressed, stiff laugh. They are clearly people devoid of humor.
THEIR POV
The giant tree is laying in the front yard, still bound with twine. Clark takes the chainsaw to it and cuts it in half.
ate “~
Todd, wearing a cocky grin, yells:
we ~
ou're gonna put a tree that big? CLOSEUP - CLARK
Obviously no love lost on the Chesters. He's in a bad enough mood as it is. He turns OFF the CHAINSAW and pushes the mask up on his forehead. He cups his hand to his mouth. and. yells.
A56
CONTINUED: A56 CLOSEUP - TODD His smile fades. He looks to Margo.
He looks back at Clark, angry at the rude suggestion offered in the presence of his wife.
HIS POV
Clark yells back. CLARK
I_wasn't talking to you! CLOSEUP - MARGO She gasps in horror. The CHAINSAW REVS UP.
The tree is up in the rear corner of the room. Clark's had to trim both the top and bottom to get it to fit. It's still wrapped with twine. The family is standing before the tree. ELLEN (looking up) Clark? Is there enough room for the star?
CLOSEUP ~- TOP OF TREE It's flush to the ceiling. CLOSEUP - CLARK He's looking at top of the tree. CLARK
Oh, sure, honey. I have a little
more trimming to do but it won't
be a problem.
Clark steps to the tree and takes up a length of twine.
He yanks on the twine. The branches are released and unfold into the room. Unwrapped, the tree is enormous. Branches extend deep into the room.
N, ee
A BRANCH CRASHES through a side WINDOW.
Another BRANCH CRASHES through a back WINDOW.
A third of the living room square footage is dominated by the unfurled tree. The Griswolds stand waist-deep in pine boughs. The tree is the same diameter at
the top as at the bottom. It's a pine cylinder, eight feet in diameter. Clark looks at Ellen, Audrey and Rusty. He says nothing. They say nothing.
The lights are on. We can see the glow of a fire in the living room fireplace.
A beautiful fire. CHRISTMAS MUSIC is playing on the STEREO.
It's pleasant and calm. A nearly perfect holiday picture. Clark's wearing a cashmere V-neck. He's un- tangling a strand of lights. Audrey, Rusty and Ellen are sitting with bowls of popcorn and cranberries in their laps. Clark has trimmed the Christmas tree branches and denuded the top twelve inches to accommodate the star. He's fishing lights out of a cardboard box.
Clark walks to the tree with the light strands. ELLEN
Clark? The old-fashioned ornaments aren't working out too
well. CLARK
That's all part of the fun, honey. (MORE )
ate
ate “
we “
ate nw
ate ss
de
“
ale “
ale ”
we w
CONTINUED: 61
Clark begins stringing the lights on the tree, starting at the bottom. Clark moves slowly around the tree, stringing the lights as he goes.
He loads the popcorn into his mouth. CLOSEUP - CLARK Clark considers the question for a moment.
CLOSEUP - RUSTY
He pulls a string and then a row of strung pieces of popcorn out of his mouth.
Clark disappears around behind the tree.
the tree?
ate ry
ste n
he ”~
le ”
ale ”
ae ”
¥
ate ”
%
ale x
ate n”
ale w
CL
A62
CONTINUED: (2) , 61
The tree shivers and shakes as Clark works his way around behind it.
CLARK GAGS and COUGHS.
Clark emerges from around behind the tree. He's covered head-to-toe in sap and pine needles.
Clark and Ellen are cleaning Clark's sweater. He's working on one sleeve, she's working on the other. She's picking individual needles off. Clark's herding them down the cuff.
looking forward to seeing them.
J.
xe
ale ve
%
ale ”
A62
CONTINUED: 462
Clark pulls a large wad of sticky pine needles off the cuff of his sweater and tries to flick it into the wastebasket.
Ellen is trying to get the needles off her hands. All She does is transfer the needles from one hand to the other. They continue talking, not acknowledging the sap and the needles.
CLARK
They get along.
Clark tries to wipe the wad of pine needles on the edge of the grocery bag lining the wastebasket. When he pulls his arm back, the bag goes with it. It's now stuck to his hand.
ate ae
A62 CONTINUED: (2) A62
{ 3 ELLEN
a All they do is argue. Who sleeps in what room, who do the children love more? Clark, it’s endless.
He holds out his hand and the bag stuck to it. Ellen pulls the bag off. It sticks to her hands.
It sure doesn't show.
Clark peels his sweater off and tosses it on the table. It's stuck to his hand. He tries to throw it again. The sweater goes nowhere.
‘CLARK That's all part of it, Ellen. You take the good with the bad.
ate rat
21, CONTINUED: (3) A62
Ellen puts the bag between her knees and pulls her hand free. The bag stays stuck to her knees.
Clark puts the Sweater in his mouth and pulls it off his hands. He shakes his head. The sweater's stuck to his face.
- The lights are out.
Clark and Ellen are in bed.
CLARK»
How about a little home shopping? ELLEN
Clark, it's so late. CLARK
Can I just thumb through your
catalogue? Ellen laughs as Clark pulls her to him. ELLEN Okay, if I can go through yours first.
It opens and Audrey peeks in.
(CONTINUED )
ale nw
%
¢, Pid
ate “
o™
A63
Ze
CONTINUED: 62 ELLEN (0.S.) Ooo. What a big catalogue this year.
HER POV
Clark and Ellen are under the covers.
section. CLOSEUP - AUDREY She has no idea what they're talking about.
Ellen pops up from under the covers. Clark looks up in alarm. Ellen leaps from the bed.
It's too late. The power of Ellen's leap from bed drags Clark to the floor by his undershorts. He screams as he crashes to the floor.
OMITTED , A63 CLOSEUP -- CHRISTMAS CALENDAR 63
Of the sort that conceals each date behind a paper door. Every day in the month of December, one of the little doors is opened to reveal the date and a symbol of the season. Clark's fingers open the first door to expose DEC. 15 and a tiny illustration of a partridge in a pear tree. As Clark draws his hand away, the paper door sticks to his finger and he tears it off.
The Loop. Decorated for the holidays.
we ”
ate “~
ate ray
%
% % 9% %
te x
ote n
ale n
C Clark's building. A new high-rise in the heart of the ~ city. .
Clark and a co-worker, BILL BURKE, are standing at the coffee station, sipping coffee and chatting.
From what I hear, you have an excellent shot at being named Food Additive Designer of the
Year. CLARK Nah. BILL I'm not kidding. What's the new * thing you have over at Food and ¥ Drug? = CLARK
we ray
Non-nutritive cereal varnish crunch enhancer. It seals the cereal to prevent the milk from penetrating it.
hope?
ate ~
He removes a worn, color brochure from his inside jacket \ pocket and hands it to Bill.
INSERT - BROCHURE
An ecstatic all-American family frolicking in a deluxe in-the-ground swimming pool and spa.
he oe
oO
A67
B67
own private summer resort.
BILL
Boy, what's it gonna set you back? CLARK
Can't put a price on happiness, Bill. Plenty. But with the bonus check coming, it's covered. I went ahead and put a seventy-
five hundred dollar deposit down so they'll start work as soon as the ground thaws. With the heater, we can be in that thing by May.
A67
B67
ate “
ale ray
25%
The marching wingtips round a corner. CAMERA RISES to see FRANK W. SHIRLEY at the point and two YOUNG MEN off his shoulders a few steps back. Shirley is a stern, Sstone~faced man in middle age. His minions are young, Clean-cut MBAs. They march with military precision and serious purpose. The men stop suddenly.
CLOSEUP - BILL
He clears his throat and corrects Mr. Shirley.
Are you the one who was working on the non-nutritive cereal varnish?
ve
ale ray
ate x
ate ray
%
~~
26 « CONTINUED: 67
Shirley and his bootlicks start down the corridor.
Shirley stops and turns back to Clark.
Shirley stares at Clark for a confused beat then looks to one of the Young Men.
They exit. Clark sets his coffee down. He feels foolish. CLARK He may not be the warmest guy in the world, but at least he's fair and he signs the checks. MUSIC UP... HOLIDAY MONTAGE . 68 A) Salvation Army band playing. B) Crowded downtown department store. C) Cash registers ringing. D) Screaming kids on Santa's laps.
we ”
%
ate “
ate wn
wt n
ale rad
CONTINUED: . 68
E) Garish displays.
'F) Shoppers in and out of revolving doors.
G) Businessmen testing toys.
H) Santas having lunch at a counter.
I) Heaps of purchases on store counters. J) Gift wrapping.
K) Lost, crying child.
L) Cash and credit cards changing hands. M) Hands rubbing sore feet.
N) Businessman asleep in the mattress dept. with bulging shopping bags at his side. Etc.
END MONTAGE.
CLARK - NIGHT a
He's peering into a display case. He looks up. Freezes. CLARK'S POV . Cleavage, MOVE UP TO a beautiful young WOMAN.
Clark's bent over a display case, looking at the delicates.
ate ray
The Woman smiles. She realizes he's nervous.
-
There's an uncomfortable silence.
Do you want me to take anything out for you?
Clark's jaw drops. He wheezes. He looks over his shoulder to see if anyone's listening to the conversation. He ignores the question and carries on.
obviously she doesn't wear underwear and there's plenty of shopping days left until adultery.
(winces and
corrects himself) Adulthood. Which is to say Christmas. Yuletide. Yule. As in yulelog. Not a log. I didn't Mean a log. I don't have a log.
(MORE )
(CONTINUED )
Clark mops his brow with the back of his hand.
season to be huge. Uh, merry. * WOMAN
That's my name. CLARK
Huh? *
She points to the name plate on her chest.
WOMAN
Mary. * CLARK
Christmas. * WOMAN
ate “
And a happy New Year. A70 INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - RUSTY A70
He's moving through the crowds, package in his arms, looking for Clark.
B70 INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - RUSTY'S POV - LINGERIE DEPT. B70 THROUGH the crowd he sees Clark at the lingerie counter. Clark's laughing and enjoying himself. Mary's showing him a miniscule pair of panties.
c70 INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - CLOSEUP - RUSTY C70 He watches Clark with suspicious curiosity.
Rusty approaches the counter and Clark.
MARY ~ (to Clark) These are cut high on the hip. 4
(CONTINUED )
a
A71
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/20/89 30. CONTINUED: 70 She turns around and displays her bottom. MARY I'm wearing something very
Similar. Can you see the line?
Clark turns to Rusty.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
It registers that he's just addressed Rusty. His eyes bulge. He snaps his head around to Rusty.
CLOSEUP - RUSTY
Looking at Clark.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
Looking at Rusty. Complete terror.
Clark and Rusty walk through the store loaded with
lingerie boxes. Clark's in a nervous sweat as he tries to explain himself to Rusty.
That wasn't fair of me. Unusual looking. So tall and skinny and top heavy. (MORE )
(CONTINUED )
(i
A71
B71
C71
A72
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/20/89 aL. CONTINUED: A71
%
+
se oe eh
(pause) Gee, I hope I remember where I parked the ole dickster...
Truckster. Clark shoos Rusty on ahead.
He pushes Rusty through a door and takes a look back at Mary.
She waves to him.
A nervous smile. He turns and walks through the door.
As it closes we read a brass sign -- LADIES. 0O.S.
there's a collective SHRIEK and a pair of SHARP SLAPS. A beat and Rusty and Clark walk out. Their hair is messed- up. They both rub their stinging cheeks.
OMITTED 71
A clear, bright Saturday morning.
B72
C72
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/20/89 314.
Ellen's at the kitchen table filling out Christmas cards. She looks up from her work with a troubled look. Some dreadful feeling grips her. OMINOUS MUSIC COMES UP.
She's struck by the same uneasy feeling. She looks up from the gift she's wrapping.
D72
E72
F72
G72
H72
J72
OZ»
Rusty's watching TV. As the feeling comes over him, he hits the MUTE button on the TV.
Clark's trying on a Santa beard. He's taken by the same awful feeling. He slowly removes the beard. A look of terror on his face.
Ellen walks in from the kitchen. She's nervous and tentative. Rusty comes in from the dining room. Clark comes down the stairs. Audrey follows Clark. The DOOR KNOCKER sounds. THREE hard, loud BANGS.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
Frightened. He's looking at the front door.
t t
MOVING IN.
CLOSEUP - DOORKNOB
Clark's trembling hand grips the knob and slowly turns
It swings open to reveal four arguing grandparents.
CLARK W. GRISWOLD SR., NORA GRISWOLD, ART AND FRANCIS PEARSON.
Clark greets the grandparents with open arms.
Clark steps back as the grandparents rush the house. They engulf Clark, Ellen, Rusty and Audrey in hugs and
‘machine-gun chatter. It's an invasion.
ate ~
se a
ve.
ate n
J72
CONTINUED: J72
Clark breaks his embrace with Nora and shakes Clark Sr.'s hand.
Art and Francis descend upon Ellen and the kids. Nora breaks from Clark and pushes past Francis to Rusty. Art returns to Clark. Clark Sr. crosses to Ellen. Rusty, Audrey, Ellen and Clark hold their positions as the grandparents move between them. Each family member is verbally attacked, hugged, squeezed and kissed. A hundred individual overlapping comments and questions in 30 seconds.
( CONTINUED)
33A. J72 CONTINUED: (2) J72 * OVERLAPPING DIALOGUE for grandparents’ arrival.
(to Ellen) Dear, you look so tired. (to Rusty) I have a very painful spur on my heel bone. (MORE )
J72
33B. (3) 3720
( )
J72
33C.
(4) 3720 * ART (CONT'D) (to Clark) - Your mom's put on some weight, huh? (to Ellen)
Does your pharmacy offer a senior discount? (to Audrey) Grandma said you're dating fellas. We're gonna have to have a talk. (to Ellen) You look weary. (to Ellen) I'm on a low-sodium diet and your mother’s eating a lot of fish. (to Clark) Don't try and save a nickel on heat. I like it at seventy-two. (to Ellen) I need a lot of moisture in the air. I have a sinus condition.
J72
33D. (5) | 372. *
CLARK SR. (CONT'D)
{to Rusty) What do you want old Santa to bring you this year?
(to Ellen) Don't short us on towels this year.
(to Clark) We like a late breakfast and an early dinner.
(to Clark) Do you remember Fred Lorraine? He sold a humorous story to the Reader's Digest. Made ten bucks.
(to Ellen) Don't fill us up with cheese like last time.
(to Clark) Do you have a good mall where Mom and I can go take an indoor walk?
Oh, my sweet girl. You look so haggard.
(to Clark) Are you making her do heavy work?
(to Ellen) I nearly left your father over this back thing. He's unbearable!
(to Audrey) I clipped an article for you in our paper about disease and open-mouth kissing.
(to Rusty)
Are you getting enough fresh air and sunshine? (to Clark)
Your dad drives like a lunatic. (to Ellen)
Hasn't Nora aged? Poor thing. I didn't want to ask but has she gone deaf?
(to Rusty ) All the boys in our neighborhood have after school jobs.
(to Audrey) They say pizza is very high in sodium.
(to Ellen) I'm going to need to get my hair done but I'm not going to your place again. Not after that polish gal scalded my scalp.
' (to Clark)
If Dad needs a rub down...
(to Ellen) You have no color in your cheeks.
(to Clark) Ellen has no color in her cheeks.
(to Audrey) I hope you'll dress up nice on Christmas.
J72
A73
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/19/89 34. CONTINUED: (6) J72 As they arrive, they exit up the stairs en masse yakking
all the way, leaving Clark, Ellen, Audrey and Rusty
standing stock still. It's as though a tornado passed through.
She's wearing an identical, catatonic expression. Her hair's messed up.
CLOSEUP - RUSTY
The same expression. He has a large, distinct lipstick print on each cheek.
Clark exits out the front door leaving his stunned family alone.
OMITTED 72
& A73
The garage door opens and Clark comes. out carrying an extension ladder. Rusty follows with a huge carton of lights and decorations. Clark and Rusty are wearing their winter gear. Clark leans the ladder against the house. Rusty sets the carton down.
Clark reaches into the carton and pulls out a strand of lights.
al rat
(CONTINUED )
A75
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/19/89 35, CONTINUED: . 73
Clark gives a tug on the strand pulling a three-foot ball of tangled lights from the carton.
OMITTED . 74
They exit their house noticing Clark on the ladder. They're dressed for an evening out.
MARGO * I hope he falls and breaks his neck, :
TODD *
He'll fall for sure but we're not lucky enough to have him break his neck.
Clark's climbing the ladder, dragging a strand of lights
behind him. As he gets to the top of the ladder, it collapses, sending Clark crashing to the ground.
A76
B76
CHRISTMAS VACATION - = Rev. 4/18/89
They're irritated and fussy.
TODD
There should be some sort of © ordinance prohibiting ourdoors:
lights.. . | “ MARGO-
If we can't keep kids and dogs out of the neighborhood, we're not . a going ‘to prevent Christmas lights.
Clark resets. ‘the ‘ladder. against. ‘the house, “climbs back
up and begins _— light: strands: to bi took, a - OMITTED » " ae
Clark Sr. and Art asleep in wingchairs. They're snoring.
Nora and Francis are watching a Christmas parade on TV as they construct a prefab gingerbread house. — They have to speak up against the loud snoring. > yg OR
“NORA
If you keep eating the shingles. we won't have any dete: for Ais
a ‘roof, wip sk
Nora remote controls. the: VOLUME | ‘UP. on the TW. The
SNOESAG increases. ir:
FRANCIS .
Francis rexcte ‘contrells, the VOLUME ‘LOUDER on the TV.
The snoring becomes louder. —
NORA
Is that the fella from 'Jeopardy'?
Nora turns UP the VOLUME more. The snoring gets louder.
Francis turns UP the VOLUME again.
louder.
' The snoring gets
(CONTINUED )
A76
B76
C76
thru E76
NO, \. 7 ed
A80
CHRISTMAS ‘VACATION - Rev. anayas ns 37.
“CONTINUED: | wo! oe - pe 76
Francis turns UP the VOLUME again and again; the snoring snereases. ee
NORA _
The left side’ ‘of. the house ‘is i avtdally ‘decorated. Clark is twenty feet above the. ground: Stringing lights ‘onder - the eaves... He reaches over’ to secure a strand.’ The . ladder tilts. from his: weight .and.one-leg lifts - off the . ground. Encumbered by ‘the lights and the’ stapler, Clark: struggles ‘to ‘get both of the’ feet.of ‘the ladder ‘back on. the ground... As he leans into the ‘house he (accidentally) Staples his sleeve to the roof. This temporarily stabi- lizes him. To free himself he pulls the sleeve and the staple loose. This upsets his balance, tilting Clark and the ladder back away from the house. Right before he crashes backwards into the tree, he grabs the parti- ally stapled strand of lights and uses it as a safety. line to Pall, himself (and the dasiex) back uP to ‘the house. | -
TaRgucH | the bedroom window: ‘that faces. the street, we...
see Clark struggling with the ladder, holding on for dear . life to a strand of lights. As he slowly pulls himself in, the ladder crashes. back.into_ the. house slamming Clark
into. the Mindow, .° reo oS ean ee OMITTED a8
Rusty comes out of the garage carrying a six-foot- ‘tall plastic Santa.
7 RUSTY Dad? Where do you want the Santa?
Clark is on the spine of the roof where he's stapling lights.
_ CLARK Just put him on the lawn.
ob He Ob OG OG 0 Ob Ob OE OH
% 1
sehemncens tee te seeaey
FE ET RET LAN NN ENR WEE FART Oe INGA EPL VM TP AT
RUSE ' turns. and ‘looks. up to the toot.
Ellen arid’ ‘Audrey ‘are
making dinner.
Rusty sets “the Santa. down « on. the Tewn:
pen T Gouldn’ t find the | ‘eigh tiny reindeer.
een eee oe Cy
- Behind him a- large wooden shutter falls to the. sidewalk and ‘shatters.
“They. have to” shout:
above the. Snoring ae the BLASTING TELEVISION get..
Everybody? .
"AUDREY Are you sleeping with
your brother? Do you know how |
sick and twisted that ‘is?
Don't be so dramatic.
ELLEN
EBT
a ar ave nightmares” about what | ce he. does. in. acer bed.. Alone.
(82
on) 2 ¥ 34 EET? Fe
B82
; EXT. t 82.
HOUSE =
1 gg
‘He's s ‘dangling from ¢
ladder which still rests eeinne the moving gutter, He begins inching toward the ladder, sliding his gloves
along the gutter. It begins to tear loose from the
house, sending | the. dacder crashing to the lawn. eG a 7
CLOSEUP - GUTTER
It’s filled solid with ice. The ice shoots out of the Surber like a Sreehs © oy. Fs a oe
Sie Faiur concatme” COR pate HO OA PEA re * nnmntie attna b A bole te eee ee
gg © Oy / A84
—“ A85
fn RET, ae nen eg etn te ser 7 ney cee at pee meinem a ae om oe
bushes below. The froot Gat oo Bhe moment ne lands.
. INSERT - ‘CLOSEUP__ - ’ COFFEE MACHINE. A _ grandmother’ 'S
eine ae RE eet cee een la pm te
GHRISTMAS ¥ VACATION - “Rev. 4/18/89. a 40,
The ice spear. orashes through the Side window and impales the stereo.
Clark, holding on to . the gutter, as at continues to
tear loose, realizes that the lower roof is just below his feet. He lets go of the gutter, leaving him | standing on the lower roof. He stands for a beat feeling secure.. Suddenly his feet ‘slide out from under - him, he hits the roof on his stomach, shoots off like a rocket, and disappears in a cloud of snow into the
eH Ge tH
sit ttt ELLEN. a ey: Clark?” Dinner! ‘8 ready! ©
A beat and Clark answers from the ‘bushes.
rs 11 be , right a .
A. grandnother’ 8 hand ‘closes the door and turns te on.
hand pours + water into , the e machine. ~
A85
CONTINUED: A85 INSERT - CLOSEUP - REFRIGERATOR
Freshly-wrapped leftovers are placed on a shelf and the door closes.
Clark, Ellen, Audrey and Rusty, Clark Sr., Nora, Art and Francis are standing on the front lawn.
Clark's worn and tattered from his efforts. His en- thusiasm and excitement is unabated. He's holding two extension cords, ready to plug them in.
Clark gives Art a sidelong glance. He refuses to let him spoil his fun.
No one responds.
. CLARK Drumroll1?
CONTINUED: 85
Reluctantly Ellen, Rusty and Audrey flutter their tongues in a cheap imitation of a drumroll.
Clark and Nora join in. After a beat Art and Francis reluctantly flutter their tongues.
He joins the drumroll, louder and more enthusiastic. He holds up the plug and the outlet and with great drama and the sound of a CRASHING CYMBAL, joins them.
The house is dark.
Continuing their drumroll. Dampened somewhat. Clark unplugs the cords, gives them a twist, revs up his drums and again joins the extension cords. Nothing. The drums peter out. Clark continues his, but at a lower volume and in an angry tone. He plugs and unplugs the cords a couple of times.
ART
Ce
Beeeeee--u-t-tiiiiii-ful, Clark!
Art and Francis head back to the house.
. CLARK SR. It's probably a bad bulb, son. If one goes out the whole thing doesn't work.
Clark Sr. and Nora go inside. Clark stares at the house. Seething anger.
Je ~
ate “
-_ AUDREY a Sorry, Dad.
No response. Clark just stares at the house.
%
She fixes his coat around his neck to cover his neck.
She leaves a nearly despondent Clark and slips away into the house before he explodes.
%
They've returned home. Todd's looking at the broken window. Margo's looking at the trashed stereo system.
; MARGO And why is the carpet all wet?
He sets the ladder against the house and begins to climb.
A88 INT. HOUSE - SERIES OF SHOTS - NIGHT A88 Nora and Clark Sr. are in Audrey's double bed. Their * debris is all over the room. Medicines, trusses, * clothing, suitcases. A room humidifier is spewing out %
cold steam. Nora's snoring softly. Clark Sr.'s reading a teen fashion magazine with a flashlight. *
C88
D88
E88
A89
Rusty and Audrey are sleeping on a hide-a-bed. She's on her back, awake. Rusty has his arm around her and his
face against her ear. She pushes his arm away and his leg replaces it. She groans.
Ellen's asleep. Alone.
A well-oiled babe in something indecent. The poster is taped to the ceiling.
CLOSEUP - ART
He's laying on his back staring up with mild curiosity.
Francis is on the bottom bunk. Art's on the top bunk.
A lonely figure on the ladder in the dark of the cold night. A sky filled with twinkling stars.
EXTREME CLOSEUP - CHRISTMAS CALENDAR 88
Audrey opens the door marked, DECEMBER 19. Behind the door is a gingerbread man.
OMITTED A89
Clark peeks out of his bedroom. He looks up and down the hall, then sneaks out of his room with a two-handled shopping bag filled with wrapped gifts. He reaches up to the ceiling.
CLOSEUP CEILING - ATTIC STAIRS
Fold-down stairs. Clark slips his finger in a brass ring and turns it, unlocking the stairs.
Clark pulls down the attic stairs. He does so slowly but the STAIRCASE still SQUEAKS. He brings the stairs down to eye level and stops.
(CONTINUED )
%
*%
ate ”
A90
thru
A97
CONTINUED: 89
He listens to see if he's attracted anyone's attention. He looks up at the stairs. The steps, which are collapsed on runners, slide down and hit Clark square in the forehead taking him clear OUT OF FRAME.
OMITTED A90
Clark climbs up the creaky stairs into the attic, rubbing his aching forehead.
It's a standard, cluttered, wood floor, unfinished, unheated attic. He steps carefully over and around the detritus of twenty years of married life to the chimney. He sets down the bag of gifts. He takes out a gift and hides it behind the chimney. As he reaches behind the chimney, he notices something. He brings out a dusty, gift-wrapped package. He reaches back around, stretches, grits his teeth as he reaches far behind the chimney.
He pulls out another wrapped gift. He sets it down and again reaches behind the chimney. He finds another gift- Wrapped package. He looks at the gifts curiously. He blows the dust off one of the packages and reads the tag.
CLOSEUP - GIFT TAG
The tag reads -- TO MOM, FROM CLARK. MERRY CHRISTMAS. CLOSEUP - CLARK
He looks at another package.
CLOSEUP - GIFT TAG
The tag reads -- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, ALL MY LOVE, CLARK.
‘OMITTED | 91 ' thru
Francis comes out of the guest room. She sees the attic stairs down.
He picks up the third gift. (CONTINUED )
A97
B97
A100
B100
C100
CONTINUED: | A97 CLOSEUP - GIFT TAG The tag reads -- HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, LOVE, CLARK.
Francis lifts the staircase and lets it crash closed.
He freezes.
The Taurus is running. Clark Sr. is in the front, Nora's in the back with Audrey. Ellen's standing at the Taurus. She's going to drive.
Clark's on his hands and knees pushing on the attic Stairs. It doesn't budge. Locked tight.
Art and Francis bundle up and exit the front door. They can't hear Clark's FAINT CRIES.
O.S. Clark's BANGING on the attic stairs.
Io! CLARK (0.S.) Help!
Art and Francis come out of the house. Ellen calls to
_ them.
c100
~ D100
LO1
A103
CONTINUED: C100
Clark works his way down the attic, heading for a small window at the other end. There is a narrow walkway of boards across the joists that runs from one end of the
attic to the other. Except for this walkway, the floor is unfinished and consists only of joists and insulation.
CLOSEUP - FLOORBOARDS
Loose planks. Clark's foot steps down on the end of a plank. It sinks under his weight.
Clark, anticipating that he's going to get hit in the face with the loose board, quickly steps back. The board he steps back onto flies up and smacks him in the back of
the head. The impact throws him forward onto the first board which flips up and slugs him in the face.
Art and Francis get in the Taurus.
He's pressed up against the small, dirty attic window. A look of defeat and resignation on his face.
Far below, the Taurus pulls away and heads down the street.
He watches sadly as the Taurus disappears down the street. He sighs in utter defeat.
—.
A103
B103
C103
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/20/89 48. CONTINUED: A103
He glances to the side and notices the the window is ringed with his inoperative imported twinkle lights. He reaches into his shirt pocket for a new bulb, opens the tiny window and reaches out to test for bad bulbs.
Clark Sr. and Nora are at the counter looking at manicure sets.
NORA
And he put out all the windows in the garage and you threw it away.
(referring to the
manicure set in her
hand) No. I think he'll be just as thrilled with a manicure set.
Especially in the summer.
Clark comes back down the attic from the window, returning the failed bulbs to his pocket. He reaches the boards that whacked him earlier. He gingerly steps on both boards, balancing for a moment. Suddenly, the boards fly up on either side of Clark, smacking him both front and back.
_ D103 \ E103 F103
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/20/89 48A.
The plaster cracks under the weight of Clark's feet,
leaving the approximate shape of human footprints in the ceiling.
He's stepping between the joists.
More cracked footprints on the ceiling.
oo
NL
G103
H103
I-103
J103
K103
L103
M103
N103
Clark's rummaging through boxes, looking for a coat. He finds nothing and crosses to another stack of boxes.
The footsteps continue across the master bedroom ceiling. OMITTED I-103
Clark's rummaging through another box. He comes up with
an old wool scarf. He looks at it with a small degree of satisfaction.
The girlie poster above the top bunk. Clark's feet
suddenly break through the ceiling and tear through the poster.
Clark's sunk to his knees in the attic floor.
A pair of legs standing on the top bunk.
Art and Francis are at a counter discussing a gift for Audrey.’
FRANCIS
This is for when she dresses up. INSERT - PURSE AND GLOVES A taupe leather purse and matching leather gloves.
BACK TO SCENE
Art looks at the pricetag. (CONTINUED )
ale ras
N103
CONTINUED: N103
Clark is wearing an old fur coat, a hat and white ladies’ gloves that he's found among the stored junk. He's rummaging through boxes, resigned to his fate.
CLOSEUP - SHOE BOX
Clark lifts the lid to reveal yellow Kodak boxes. The
old home movies. He takes out several and looks through them.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He smiles as the inscriptions on the boxes bring back
pleasant memories.
EXTREME CLOSEUP - BOXES
Shuffling through them -- Clark's fifth B-day, Vacation to Toledo, Aunt Lou's funeral and finally, Xmas '59.
A title card with the words in glitter. CUT TO:
Griswold house -- a tract ranch house with a single string of lights around the door. CUT TO: Griswold family, Nora, Little Clark (age 9), an ancient woman dressed in black, a young sailor, a smashed old priest, a middle-aged man with a loud sport coat, slicked hair and a pencil moustache with his arm around a middle-aged woman in a low-cut dress -- sitting in the living room eating Christmas dinner on TV trays. A metallic Christmas tree. stands in the corner. A wobbly pan across the people, squinting against the harsh light of the light bar.
Clark is sitting on a child's chair with the projector on a box beside him. .The image is projected on a shirt hung from a rafter.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He smiles at the old images.
ate nw
ate n
we -~
thru B109
CONTINUED: 103 8MM FILM
The man with the pencil moustache smiles and holds up his middle finger. CUT TO: Family gathered around a free- standing kettle fireplace singing Christmas carols. On the left side of frame, we see flames. The camera pans to the curtains. The heat from the floodlights has ignited the curtains. The camera drops again. CUT TO: The family and three firemen toasting the holidays with eggnog. Behind them, the wall is blackened. CUT TO: Clark Jr. asleep in his bed, despite the floodlights.
CUT TO: Clark Sr. in a cheap Santa suit coming in the front door with a pillowcase stuffed with gifts. A German shepherd dog attacks him. The camera drops to the floor. CUT TO: Clark Jr. running down the stairs in the AM. CUT TO: Clark Jr. ripping open a large gift. He looks up to camera with a grim expression. He lifts a handful of wool socks from the box.
The Taurus is in the drive. The grandparents are walking carefully up the slick pavement to the house.
Ellen sneaks up the stairs with packages in her arms.
Ellen turns down the hall, stopping at the attic stairs. She reaches up and turns the attic stair lock.
Clark, the chair, the box of memories and the projector fall OUT OF FRAME. 0O.S., CLARK and his MEMORIES CRASH * to the floor.
OMITTED 108 * thru B109 *
Todd and Margo have returned home from a run. They're dressed in the best winter running fashions.
(CONTINUED )
CONTINUED: 109
Clark plants a floodlight in front of the Santa Claus and the plastic reindeer and a sign announcing MERRY CHRISTMAS in glittering plastic letters.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He feels a degree of satisfaction with the new decor- ations, even though the lights on the house are still out of order.
Ellen comes out the front door. She closes the door and steps down from the porch.
Ellen walks over to him.
Clark picks up the yellow extension cord that the house lights are plugged into. There are two inputs on the cord.
ate ra
ale
ate ”
we “
ate ra
ws ato vs ato
ale
ate n~
CONTINUED: 110 ELLEN - Do you want me to do the drumroll thing? CLARK
No, it's okay. Here goes nothin’.
Clark grimaces as he sticks the floodlight plug into the extension cord input.
Nothing. CLOSEUP - CLARK Stares in disbelief. CLOSEUP - ELLEN Winces.
The door from the house opens.
Clark's holding the cords, staring at the house. CLARK I don't understand it. The house
lights don't work, the floodlights don't work.
Nora steps into the garage. She hits the light switch.
Todd and Margo are sitting on their king-size bed in the dark. Todd's in his shorts. Margo's wearing a satin
robe. They clink glasses and kiss. The moment their lips touch, the room is flooded with light.
%* OF
%
%
\ f \. —.
It's a spectacular sight. The home edition of the Disneyland Electric Parade.
ot “
A116 EXT. CLARK'S TOWN - NIGHT | A116 The lights in the panorama dim as the house sucks power.
B116 CLOSEUP - HOME ELECTRIC METER B1ll6 * It's a spinning blur.
C116 CLOSEUP - POWER PLANT CONTROL PANEL c1l6 * A male hand slaps a button marked "AUXILIARY NUCLEAR ON."
Nora crosses to the refrigerator in the garage and takes out a carton of milk.
ale ray
Clark, blasted with light, continues to fiddle with the * extension cords, unaware that the lights are on. Ellen's * jaw drops.
% x
Just a second, honey, I think I know what's wrong...
ote x
Nora crosses back to the door. She turns off the light. * A119 CLOSEUP - HOME ELECTRIC METER . A119 *
It slows down.
Margo and Todd climb off the bed and charge the front Window. The lights go off. Margo and Todd, temporarily blinded, crash into a table.
It's dark. |
sweetheart, I can't see what... *
He looks up slowly. Puzzled. *
122A
_ 125
A127
Ellen rushes into the garage. She hits the light switch and looks for the plug.
OMITTED 122
The lights go back on. Todd and Margo are hopping around the room, holding their banged shins. The wine bottle's fallen to the floor along with cheese and crackers and caviar and fruit, flowers, vase and water. It's a ter- rible mess, made all the worse by the screaming, bright light flooding into the room.
% 9 %
%
The lights are back on. Clark yells.
in. She's puzzled.
He's still yelling. CLARK Everybody out! Quick! Look at the lights!
OMITTED 126 *
Art and Clark Sr. run in from the family room. The grandmothers from the kitchen.
LF
Todd has the cheese, fruit, wine bottle, vase and flowers on the table and is carrying it out of the room.
Ellen sees nothing wrong. She heads back to the door, % reaching for the light switch.
XY
D127
E127
F127
AA128
A128
B128.
The lights go out. Margo rams into an armoire. 0O.S., Todd takes a header down the stairs.
Art and Clark Sr. come out on the porch.
Ellen comes back in the house. She stops as something occurs to her. She thinks for a moment.
Art, Clark Sr., Audrey, Francis and Nora are gathered on the porch looking at Clark.
ale
THEIR POV AA128*
Clark's twisting, shaking, whipping the cords and cursing. He throws the cords down and in his rage socks the Santa. CLARK Damn_it! Damn it! damn it...
CLOSEUP - SANTA
%
ate ras
The face caves in when Clark slugs it.
Clark kicks the reindeer and the sign.
Ellen turns and runs back to the garage.
The family is disturbed by Clark's behavior.
B128
C128
AD128
BD128
D128
CONTINUED: B128 CLOSEUP - CLARK He rips the cords from the junction, spreads his arms
wide and with a great, dramatic gesture rams them back together.
Ellen comes back into the garage. She hits the lights. *
The lights are back on, the room is blown out with light. The armoire is toppled. A television and com- ponent stereo is spilled on the bed in a tangle of wires and video cassettes, audio cassettes and CDs.
Cheese, fruit, flowers, wine, the table and Todd are
littered down the staircase. The harsh light is spilling through the living room, dining room and’ foyer windows.
ate n~
The lights are on. For good. CLOSEUP - CLARK He's stunned that the lights work.
The family comes down off the porch and onto the lawn, admiring the lights. RUSTY Wow! Dad, it's incredible! Ellen comes out of the house and runs to Clark. He takes her under his arm. Rusty under the other. Audrey
hugs him and they look up at the house with great pride. The family gathers around.
A great swell of holiday MUSIC as we HOLD ON the magnificently-decorated house.
OMITTED 128 *
He's in tears. The struggle, the frustration, the anger has paid off. The emotion is too much for him.
(CONTINUED )
CONTINUED: 129
It's a great moment of family warmth and love. Clark embraces Nora, then Clark Sr.
He embraces Francis.
Clark embraces Art.
Clark doesn't mind the insult. He regards it as a charming moment of truth and honesty.
Clark moves from Art to the next person. It's COUSIN EDDIE. He's dressed in a cheap overcoat with a fake collar and a Kansas City Chiefs stocking cap.
CONTINUED: (2) 129
CATHERINE'S standing next to Clark. She's wearing a quilted car coat. Clark takes her in his arms, hugs her. |
Something's suddenly not right. Clark lets go of Catherine. He steps back and looks at Eddie and her.
I sure hope you didn’t do all this on our behalf, Clark.
He turns and yells over his shoulder. EDDIE
You kids get out here and see what Uncle Clark has done to the
house! CLARK Eddie? CLOSEUP - CLARK He's baffled. CLARK
(to himself) Eddie?
He looks off and is hit with another surprise...
HIS POV
The biggest commercially-available RV is backed in his driveway. The door opens and two little kids, a boy and a girl, ROCKY and RUBY SUE, followed by a mixed breed hound, Snots, jump out. Rocky's six and Ruby Sue's five. The kids and dog run across the lawn
CONTINUED: (3) . 129 CLOSEUP - CLARK He's stunned. He looks at Ellen.
CLOSEUP - ELLEN
She's equally stunned. She shrugs. She doesn't have any idea why Eddie and Catherine have shown up.
Eddie and Catherine greet the grandparents as the kids walk up.
ART
You got a kiss for me?
Art pats Rocky on the head.
Eddie slaps Snots on the flanks.
EDDIE
This here is our pride and joy.
Snots. * CLARK
%
Pretty name, Ed. (CONTINUED )
C) EDDIE ~ We named him that ‘cause he's got sinus troubles.
CLOSEUP - SNOTS
He SNIFFS, CLEARS his THROAT and...
... SPITS. Clark looks up with disgust.
EDDIE
. You rub his belly, Clark, and Co he'll love you till the day you
die.
We would have called, but Eddie _wanted to make it a surprise.
Ellen gives Clark an angry look.
. ELLEN We have plenty of room. Plenty of everything. (to herself) I think.
\ \ a Ne
(CONTINUED )
ate ra
ate ”
ae ww
BK
Je
CONTINUED: (5) 129
Quit being so damn polite, Ed.
You want to spend the holidays
with four people jammed toe-to- nose in a motor home?
Eddie reevaluates his position.
Clark and Eddie are standing at the tree sipping eggnog. Eddie's wearing a flannel shirt tucked into sweat pants
and leather tie shoes. He's showered. His hair's combed back.
Clark reaches under the tree.
CLOSEUP - SNOTS
He's drinking the water out of the tree stand.
Clark shoos the dog out from under the tree.
CLARK , If he drinks the water out of there, the tree'll dry out.
The dog saunters out of the living room.
EDDIE
Carnival. (CONTINUED )
(2) 130
Eddie doesn't catch the insult.
There's a
lull in the conversation.
A134
B134
C134
CONTINUED: (3) 130 CLARK Huh?
The house is glowing. Neighbors have gathered in the Street and on the adjacent lawns.
From several blocks away, the house continues to glow.
Clark's house glows in the distance.
He's staring at the ceiling. He's bewildered.
HIS POV - CLOSEUP - CEILING - POSTER
Two big foot holes are punched through the bimbo's chest.
CLOSEUP - ART
He gives up trying to figure out what happened to the poster. He rolls over and settles into the bed. He turns AWAY FROM CAMERA revealing that the back of his head is white with plaster dust. As he pulls the covers up around his shoulders, a cloud of dust rises.
They're sleeping in the hide-a-bed. A cage packed with anxious gerbils rests between them. Rocky smiles and we hear the SOFT SPLATTER of WATER on rubber. We MOVE OFF them TO the floor and Rusty and Audrey. Rusty's laying on top of Audrey. She's struggling beneath his dead-weight.
Clark and Ellen are in bed, awake. The lights are off. The room is illuminated by the outdoor lights.
C134
A135
CONTINUED: C134 %
Clark. CLARK No, and I never will. If Eddie was rich... There's a long pause. CLARK / ELLEN He's be worse. CLARK
Good night, sweetheart. EXTREME CLOSEUP - CHRISTMAS CALENDAR 134 Eddie's greasy fingers tear off a door marked, DEC. 21,
to reveal a sprig of mistletoe. He leaves a big smudge mark on the calendar.
‘EXT. HOUSE ~ EXTREME CLOSEUP - SANTA - MORNING A135
MOVE UP FROM Santa's crushed face TO the house and the RV. The door opens and Eddie lets Snots out. Snots sniffs out the lawn.
Mid-morning in the business district.
OMITTED 136
Clark pokes his head inside. No secretary. He tiptoes
in, holding a poinsettia plant. He crosses to a door, knocks twice.
ate ~
A vast room with an enormous desk. Shirley is seated behind it, having a conversation over the speaker phone.
FRANK
Get Ed Leftic up here and have him look over these figures.
Clark enters with the poinsettia.
CLARK'S POV - MR. SHIRLEY 139
He's become Scrooge counting his money. He doesn't look up.
Frank Shirley is back to normal. _He waves toward an opposite wall.
By the way, sir. . Hope my report helped out at the trade show.
He picks up the receiver.
Clark turns to put the poinsettia on a sideboard and sees it's jammed with about fifty other poinsettias.
The Taurus rolls through heavily-wooded, snow-covered hills.
A big wooden sign that reads ~- OSHGONOGGIN STATE PARK.
A parking lot at the bottom. A warming house. Outdoor light illuminates the hill. CHRISTMAS CAROLS are playing on the PA.
Clark, Eddie, Audrey, Rusty, Ruby Sue and Rocky are at the top of a suburban park sledding hill. They each have a saucer sled. Clark's on one knee with his saucer sled upside-down on the snow. He's shaking a spray can.
He sprays the bottom of the sled.
so. (MORE)
(CONTINUED )
CONTINUED: , 144
‘Clark's growing weary of the endless blabbering.
EDDIE
The plate runs right under my part. If it gets dented, my hair ain't gonna look right.
Clark groans and flips his sled right-side up.
Going for a new amateur recreational saucer sled land speed record, Clark W. Griswold, Jr.
He sets his palms on the snow and rocks the sled back and forth. It's extremely slippery.
Clark rocks himself back, holds a split second and pushes off. The sled flies off the peak of the hill.
A146
Looking straight down the hill. Clark's sled streaks down the hill, across the flat and into the dark beyond. One moment he's on top of the hill, the next, he's gone.
OMITTED.
They're stunned by how fast Clark flew down the hill.
Clark's sled sails through the parking lot.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He’s holding on for dear life, screaming all the way.
LOW and MOVING. Barely missing cars, people jumping out
of the way and heading for a Jeep.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He leans back and closes his eyes in anticipation of
serious injury.
LOW. The sled shoots under the Jeep and out.
Clark's sled flies out of the parking lot and onto the street. He reappears every few seconds as he passes
through the pools: of street lamp light.
A heavily wooded area. Branches are breaking, BIRDS are
roused and SQUAWKING.
A big red and green metal bin resting in the parking lot.
Out of the darkness into the harsh mercury vapor light of the parking lot, comes Clark and his sled. Sparks fly
as he strikes dry pavement.
(CONTINUED )
Al46 *
oO
CONTINUED: 150 CLOSEUP - CLARK He opens his eyes for a terrified moment.
HIS POV
The collection box is coming up fast. A freshly-painted Santa and the words HO! HO! HO! is on the red bin.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He braces for the crash.
In the distance, we hear the METAL BOOM of Clark's impact.
He’s sitting behind his desk, staring out the window. Bill walks in.
Clark turns in his chair.
~ CLARK Thank you. You, too.
Bill starts to exit. Clark stops him.
A152 CONTINUED: A152 * Clark shakes his head, no.
(hand to his nose)
-.. up to here.
Bill exits. CLOSEUP - CLARK He's concerned that something's gone wrong.
The exterior lights are on. The interior lights are off except for a single light in the kitchen. It's late.
153° INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT 153
Clark's in a red bathrobe, standing at the sink looking out the window. He's lost in troubled thought.
154 HIS POV 154
Out the window. It's daytime. The pool is in and the kids are in the water. ,
A big, happy, dreamy smile.
156 HIS POV 156 Clark and Ellen have joined the fantasy.
He slips deeper into his fantasy. MUSIC FADES UP.
CLOSEUP - MARY 162
She reaches around behind her back and (BELOW FRAME) unfastens her top.
His face is severely pressed to the window. The bathing suit bottom hits the window.
Ruby Sue appears in the doorway, in her pajamas, rubbing sleepy eyes. She squints. She sees Clark. Her jaw
drops.
HER POV
Clark is leaning against the sink with his face pressed to the window. We hear a SPLASH.
Mary surfaces and swims to the ladder. . CLOSEUP - CLARK 168
He's straining for a better view.
Ch
CLOSEUP - MARY
She begins to rise from the water and...
Her eyes are wide and her jaw is slack.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
From outside. It's dark again. The pool fantasy has
evaporated. He's startled.
He lets out a sharp cry as he turns quickly from the
window to face Ruby Sue.
Ruby Sue approaches Clark.
RUBY SUE | Uncle Clark! Are you Santy Claus?
Clark sits at the kitchen table and pats his heart. composes himself.
My mom puts bad tasting crap on his thumb so he don't suck it so sometimes he sucks mine and he has a bad dream, sometimes he bites it.
RUBY SUE
Him's nervous because Christmas is almost here.
He
ate x
172 CONTINUED:
Clark senses a problem. He sits down and offers his
knee to Ruby Sue.
Good school system. I don't think he should be nervous. And you shouldn't be either. Because if you're good, Santa Claus knows it. If you: believe in him and you believe in your mom and your ... dad and you've been good all year, Santa Claus will bring you something.
nothing wrong and we got the shaft.
%
we a“
ate ray
de nw
(2) 172
RUBY SUE
How's come you ain't sleeping?
Ruby Sue thinks hard as she recalls the day.
She slips kitchen.
down off his lap and waddles across the She stops and turns back to Clark.
Clark smiles and shakes his head. Ruby Sue exits.
Clark walks back to the kitchen window and looks out.
%
%
thru
A178
HIS POV 173
Mary's bathing suit is laying on the frozen ground in the dark, cold, barren back yard.
OMITTED 174 * thru 177. *
Rusty, Audrey, Francis, Nora, Clark Sr., Art, Ruby Sue, Catherine and Rocky are at the kitchen table. The kitchen looks like an Army mess hall.
Clark's standing at the window looking out. Ellen walks * in.
She pulls the curtain aside and looks out.
HER POV : 179
Eddie, unshaven, in his bathrobe, black socks, brown loafers, a baseball cap, with bare legs and a cigarette is watching over a four inch black plastic corrugated hose that runs from the RV, across the lawn to the curb and the sewer. Snots is on a rope anchored to the manger. The Santa, the busted reindeer and assorted trash bags are piled up on the curb. Eddie takes a drag of his cigarette, spits and looks to the window. He notices Clark and Ellen in the window. He smiles and waves.
Limp, forced smiles and waves. THEIR POV 181
Eddie yells to them.
“-—™,
A188
CONTINUED: 181
Ellen smiles sheepishly. Clark sighs.
Todd comes out the front door in sweats. He's on his way for a run. He notices a strange odor. He looks to Clark's house.
CLOSEUP - TODD . 185
He's shocked.
Eddie leans down and picks up Clark's saucer sled. The bottom is worn clean through. He hurls it toward the RV,
intending to keep it.
OMITTED 187
Clark turns away from the window in disgust.
(CONTINUED )
ate rad
ae nw
ate ow
we “
wa “
¥
ate ray
ate ray
A188
CONTINUED: A188 ELLEN You know, Clark, I have this - terrible suspicion that he and Catherine don't have any presents for their kids. Clark recalls the conversation with Ruby Sue. ELLEN ‘Rocky said something about Eddie telling him that Santa wasn't coming this year. CLARK Ruby Sue said something like that last night. How could they not have anything for their kids? ELLEN Eddie's been out of work for close to seven years. CLARK In seven years he couldn't find a job? ELLEN Catherine says he's been holding out for a management position. CLARK Jeez, what a worm. *
shoppers.
A large, chain toy store jammed with last minute holiday
Eddie and Clark are strolling down an aisle.
ate “
Eddie senses that Clark knows he's been lying.
Can't lie to you, Clark. The truth is things aren't going good at all. I said I borrowed the RV from my neighbor? It's mine. We live in it. I sold off the house and the barn and the ten acres. All I kept was a 50 foot plot and the pigs and the worm farm.
(angry) If I had back all the money me and Catherine sent that T.V. preacher that was screwing the hockey players...
( CONTINUED)
we ri
ate
ate “
te “
ote “~
%
we ”
ele nw
Ch
thru
thru
A214
B214
CONTINUED: (2)
Eddie reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of brown paper grocery bag.
OMITTED
EXTREME CLOSEUP - CHRISTMAS CALENDAR
Ruby Sue's hand opens a door marked, DEC. 24. Behind the paper door is a candy cane. Ruby Sue leans INTO FRAME and licks it.
A beautiful sunrise. Except for the RV and the dog tied
to the manger and the Santa and the broken reindeer on the curb, the house looks great.
OMITTED
Gifts are placed beneath the tree.
A floral centerpiece is placed on the table.
thru
thru
A214
B214 *
ate n“
ale
%
dq.
C214
D214
E214
F214
G214
H214
J214
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/19/89 82.
Potatoes are being peeled.
CLOSEUP - ROCKY D214
Catherine combs his hair.
CLOSEUP - ART E214
He ties his Christmas tie.
INSERT - CHRISTMAS CANDLES F214
Ruby Sue lights them.
INSERT - TABLE G214
A place is set.
The outdoor lights are lit.
CLOSEUP - SNOTS J214
Eddie puts a ribbon around his neck. MUSIC ENDS.
It opens to reveal Clark and Rusty helping an elderly woman, AUNT BETHANY, and her husband, UNCLE LEWIS into the house. Rusty's following behind with their gifts. Uncle Lewis is in his late eighties, cranky, stooped, dressed in a tweed suit and sucking on a long cigar.
Aunt Bethany's also in her late eighties, four and a half feet tall, wearing a well-worn mink stole, a polyester pant suit and a hat. She's taking two-inch steps, clinging to Clark.
out the perfect gift for you.
ate “
a
CONTINUED: 214
Ellen, Catherine and Francis come into the foyer from the kitchen.
Ellen helps her off with her coat as Francis and Catherine greet her.
Francis embraces Uncle Lewis. The rest of the family crowds into the foyer. Lewis shifts his cigar in his mouth to keep it from setting Francis's hair on fire.
Ruby Sue tugs on Rusty's coat to get his attention. He looks down at her.
‘em?
% %
+
ale ray
ate “
ate ~
ale ”
ale ”~
CHRISTMAS VACATION - Rev. 4/19/89 84.
CONTINUED: (2) 214
Ellen helps Bethany off with her stole. Clark tries to help Lewis with his.
He peels off his hat and hands it to Clark. He's bald. CLOSEUP - CLARK
He looks at Lewis curiously. Something's not right. He looks in the hat.
CLOSEUP - HAT
A gray toupee is inside the hat. Lewis has removed his hat and his hair.
Clark takes the toupee out of the hat and attempts to place it back on Lewis's head. He stands behind Lewis
waiting for his opportunity.
ELLEN
In the living room. Thanks.
(to Aunt Bethany } Aunt Bethany, you shouldn't have done that.
brought presents.
Clark tries to drop the toupee on Lewis's head. He moves forward. Ellen sees him. He explains what happened in
gesture.
ale rat
ch
CONTINUED: (3)
Uncle Lewis throws his arms in the air and heads for the living room. Clark flips the toupee, Frisbee-style at Lewis.
CLOSEUP - LEWIS
The toupee lands on his head. He looks up. He pats his head and straightens his toupee.
Clark take’s Bethany's coat from Ellen and hangs Lewis's and her coats in the closet.
Catherine and Francis help her into the living room.
ve
ate ”
ate n
CONTINUED: (4) 214
Clark takes the box from Rusty. He shakes it. From inside we hear a MUTED CAT'S MEOW. :
She gets confused, Rusty. She's old. She and Uncle Lewis don't have much money. She takes things from around the house and wraps them up as gifts.
‘ RUSTY Oh, great. I can't wait to see what I got.
Eddie walks back in with a box,
Eddie licks his finger.
Ellen samples it.
The foyer clears, leaving Ellen and Clark with their packages. Ellen's is leaking. Clark's is HOWLING.
ate ra ate
o ”
ste x
ste v
A216
Aunt Bethany is sitting with a fat Persian cat in her lap. Lewis, Clark and Eddie are standing at the tree.
Audrey's sitting next to her.
Audrey forces a polite smile.
He reaches out and touches it.
UNCLE LEWIS
The turkey, Bethany! He's smelling
the: turkey!
It's a magnificent twenty-pound turkey. Perfectly
prepared, perfectly presented. CLOSEUP - CLARK He looks up from the turkey with delight.
half as good as it looks, we're all
in for a big treat.
Catherine smiles sheepishly.
A216
ate ““
ate Pty
ate
ale "~
1, ale "~~
ve
ale ~
A216
CONTINUED: A216
Clark throws Eddie a tired glance. He puts his smile back on and prepares to carve the turkey.
CLOSEUP - TURKEY
Clark puts the gleaming knife to the turkey. He punctures the hind end. A great gush of gas escapes.
Everyone leans back from the table as the turkey SPUTTERS and COUGHS.
He's leaning back. The gas runs out and the SPUTTERING STOPS. Clark leans forward and looks at the turkey.
He leans back again. His look is curious and mildly frightened.
Everyone leans back again.
CLOSEUP - TURKEY
The legs are standing straight up. The wings pull away
from the body and extend themselves. The incision Clark made begins to expand. It tears slowly from the crotch
to the neck with the sound of RIPPING CANVAS.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He's leaned back as far as he can go. His eyes are wide with alarm.
A216
thru C217
D217
CONTINUED: (2) A216 CLOSEUP - TURKEY
The skin separates like two hard, brown flower petals opening in time-lapse, exposing the breast meat. A beat and it falls from the bones in dry, dusty threads.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He fishes through the debris and comes up with a can of prepared poultry stuffing.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He glances down at Ellen, seated at the other end of the table.
CLOSEUP - ELLEN
She offers a stern, silent warning for him to keep quiet.
OMITTED 216 * thru C217 *
--Bethany's cat approaches the Christmas tree and sniffs the needles.
Clark has served everyone their turkey threads. He makes * an announcement. * ; CLARK Since this is Bethany's 80th * Christmas... . Everyone breaks into applause -- including Aunt Bethany. *
ered
CONTINUED: 217
Aunt Bethany shakes her head, "no." She doesn't get it.
Bethany catches on. She bows her head. The others follow suit. She clears her throat. Several times.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He looks up. CLOSEUP -. EDDIE
He looks at Clark. CLOSEUP - LEWIS
He exhales loudly out his nose and strokes his forehead in defeat.
CLOSEUP - BETHANY
She continues. - AUNT BETHANY -.. of the United States of
America...
(CONTINUED )
So
CONTINUED: (2) 217
Everyone joins in. They all slowly rise off their seats and put their hands over their hearts,
Aunt Bethany's cat is playing with the Christmas tree
lights. Batting them. She bites a strand and pulls. She backs up, pulling the lights off the tree.
Everyone's eating in silence. Art picks through the over- * cooked food with disgust. Nora scowls at Eddie's kids' i&
ed ras
horrible table manners. Lewis power-spits an olive pit into his hand. Bethany is eating with a huge serving fork which Francis removes from her, replacing it with a
ate n
ate ray
conventional fork, all of which she is oblivious to. *
Clark takes a bite of Jello mold. Eddie feeds the dog *
under the table. It CRUNCHES loudly. And tastes *
terrible. Clark Sr. cuts Audrey's meat for her. Rusty *
struggles to keep Rocky out of his food. Catherine *
silently apologizes for her family's manners. * CLARK
I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa Claus' sled on his way in from New York.
The adults look to the kids for their reaction. Ruby Sue and Rocky smile.
. CLOSEUP - CLARK.
He gives Eddie a tired look. He takes a bite of Jello mold. He chews. It doesn't taste right. He looks down at his plate.
cat eat Jello? (CONTINUED }
ed
From underneath the table comes a loud, ugly DOG COUGH. Everyone but Bethany stops eating. The DOG COUGHS again. A deep, resonant crack. The DOG COUGHS again. An ex- tremely LONG and DEEP COUGH.. The force of the cough causes the dog to hit the table leg and rattle the
glassware. CLARK Ed? EDDIE Yeah, Clark? CLARK . What's wrong with your dog? CATHERINE (to Eddie)
Honey? Maybe the bow you put around his neck is too tight.
Eddie peeks under the table.
EDDIE
No, Clark. He was probably just nosing around in the trash.
220 OMITTED . 220 * thru thru 221 221 *
Trash is strewn across the kitchen floor. Smnots has gotten into the trash under the sink and has spread it across the kitchen floor.
The cat continues to pull the lights off the tree.
Clark and Ellen are cleaning up the mess.
Bethany is chewing with considerable difficulty. She . swallows hard. Lewis leans back and yells to the kitchen.
The last of the mess is off the floor. Clark is annoyed with the order from Lewis.
ELLEN
He's an old man. This could be his last Christmas.
CONTINUED: 226 CLARK
He keeps it up, Ellen, it will be his last Christmas.
He exits the kitchen.
It's still chewing. It yanks its head for a little more strand.
Clark walks in and takes Uncle Lewis’ cigar case from the coffee table. The lights on the tree go out. Clark looks at the tree, puzzled. He walks over to it. He bends down and plugs in the lights. The tree lights go back on. Clark starts to straighten up. He notices something.
CLOSEUP - FLOOR
The strand the cat's chewing is unplugged. CLARK
He plugs the lights in.
There's a horrendous SCREECH from under the club chair. A tremendous electrical SIZZLE, the lights dim and then an EXPLOSION and the house falls dark.
Rusty holds a cigarette lighter to the circuit box. He resets the breaker and the lights go on.
Clark and Eddie are at the chair. The others are gathered around and behind. The room smells horrible.
' ELLEN What's that smell?
Clark grumbles to himself. He and Eddie lift the chair
and carry it away from the wall. ; _ (CONTINUED )
mois
CONTINUED: 229
Everyone leans forward to see what's behind the chair. There's a collective gasp.
CLOSEUP - FLOOR
The blackened, smoldering outline of a cat scorched into © the carpet.
CLOSEUP - AUNT BETHANY AND UNCLE LEWIS They're trying to see past the others.
Ellen shepherds them away.
Eddie tilts the chair and looks at the underside. EDDIE
If this one's got nine lives, she just spent ‘em all.
OMITTED 230
| 4231
CLARK
Dad? Can you get the door? Clark Sr..opens the’ front door. Ellen walks in.
furniture.
)
B231
C231
CONTINUED: B231
They cart the chair outside. Ellen makes a general announcement.
Clark and Eddie dump the chair on the parkway next to the
Santa and. the reindeer. Clark notices an odor.
C231
D231
E231
CONTINUED: C231 Clark looks into the gutter.
Eddie picks up the Santa and sets it over the sewer grate.
Clark shakes his head in disgust and heads back up to the
house.
Uncle Lewis is alone in the living room. He's standing in front of the tree. He's lighting his cigar. He puffs furiously and he waves the flame under his stoggie. He shakes the match. It doesn't go out.
”
Clark has come back inside. He's putting his coat in the closet. There's a flash of intense light from the living room and a low-pitched poof! Clark dashes into the living room.
He rushes in and recoils in alarm.
HIS POV
Uncle Lewis is happily puffing a cigar. The quick, in- tense flash fire has left the tree a blackened skeleton.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He's in horror.
A232
A233
CONTINUED: 231
CLARK
He points.
He catches the signal and turns to look at the tree. He turns around. His backside's in flames.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
Horror upon horror.
CLOSEUP -. UNCLE LEWIS
He's looking wide-eyed at the burning tree.
Clark rips a curtain down and dashes to Uncle Lewis. CLOSEUP - SMOKE DETECTOR al It GOES OFF.
The women are cleaning up the kitchen and getting desert ready, Christmas CAROLS are playing on the RADIO, the
TV's BLASTING for Aunt Bethany's benefit. Ellen hears
the SMOKE DETECTOR.
OMITTED ° 232 *
The tree has burned out. Clark slowly unwraps Lewis from
the curtain.
A233
99, CONTINUED: A233 CLOSEUP - UNCLE LEWIS
His toupee's in his face, his cigar's crushed but still smoldering.
The tree is a blackened skeleton. The ceiling is black- ened. The few gifts that were placed around the bottom of the tree are charred. The ornaments and lights are fried. The carpet around the tree is melted.
The family, minus Clark, is in the living room, looking at the burned tree.
Ellen takes Rusty and Audrey into the foyer.
Audrey and Rusty are confused and upset.
cat blew up...
The DOORBELL CHIMES. Clark stomps in from the kitchen. He grabs the front door handle and whips it open.
A DELIVERY BOY in a blue uniform is standing at the door.
He's holding the door knocker that's been torn off the door in his hand. The door wreath with blinking lights is dangling around his arm. His other hand is poised
over the doorbell, index finger pointed. He's shocked.
I have a delivery for Clark W. Griswold. I was supposed to deliver it yesterday but it fell between the seats and I didn't see it. I'm sorry.
He holds up an envelope.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
His angry expression withers as he sees the envelope.
The Delivery Boy hands Clark the envelope. DELIVERY BOY
Merry Christmas. (CONTINUED )
ate ~
al ~
CONTINUED: 238 CLARK (looking up from the * envelope) * Merry Christmas... *
He closes the door and stares at the envelope. sd
CLARK
My bonus!
He grabs Ellen and hugs and kisses her. He brings Audrey and Rusty into his embrace.
- NORA Open it, Clarkie.
Clark starts to sob. Smiling, sobbing, gushing emotion.
UNCLE LEWIS
I never saw such a sight, , *
jeezuzzz! ts CLARK
I thought... I never knew... I was *
afraid... x ART
You gonna bawl all over it or are you going to open it?
There's a moment of stunned silence followed by a glee- ful outburst.
CONTINUED: (2) 238 CLARK That's it, the big one. . * ELLEN Open it, honey. CLARK I'm sorry if L've been a little *
short with everyone. I've been waiting for this check. To make sure the pool goes in as soon as the ground thaws, I had to lay out
the money in advance. Until this *
little miracle arrived, I didn't *
have the money to cover the check. * AUDREY
Tear the sucker open, Dad!
He tears open the envelope slowly and deliberately, teasing himself and the others. He brings the envelope to his lips and blows, inflating it. With great flair, he reaches two fingers into the envelope and snares its contents. He withdraws a green slip of paper. He waves it in the air.
CLARK
le ra
I know. He turns the slip of paper over and looks at it.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
‘His face freezes. He stares at the check. He lets outa
strange, high-pitched giggle. Then he turns deadly serious.
The family stares at Clark, unable to understand his sudden change of spirit.
_ ELLEN Clark? What's wrong?
Clark doesn't answer. He just stares at the piece of paper.
(CONTINUED )
238 CONTINUED: (3) 238
C) \ NL
| He doesn't respond. |
Clark shakes his head, no.
| ELLEN Smaller?
Clark shakes his head again.
ELLEN | Well, what is it?
ae The family is knocked into silence by the news.
Ellen tries to calm Clark down, fearing another explosion.
. ELLEN Clark? I'm sorry.
The family backs away as Clark's temper rises.
ate “
CONTINUED: (4) | 238 CLOSEUP - EDDIE He looks at Clark as an idea seeps into his thoughts.
Clark's eyes are wide with anger.
CLARK
With a big ribbon on his head. I want to look him in the eye and tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flusing, low-life, snake-lickin', dirt-eatin’, in-bred, overstuffed, ignorant, pus-oozing, blood- sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, heartless, hopeless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!
(pause) Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?!
Clark storms out of the room into the kitchen, leaving the family silent.
CLOSEUP - EDDIE
He grins.
O.S. a CHAINSAW kicks in.
Clark comes out of the garage with the CHAINSAW ROARING. Ellen and all the kids hurry out the front door.
(CONTINUED )
LOS.
CONTINUED: 239 AUDREY He's got that look, doesn't he? RUSTY We should have gone to Hawaii. ELLEN
Turn that thing off and get in the
ause! Clark ignores her and heads for the corner of the house.
Rusty steps off the porch and approaches Clark.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He turns to Rusty. He has an angry look in his eyes and a chainsaw in his hands.
Clark turns from Rusty and marches across his lawn to
a blue spruce on the corner of his property. He lays the chainsaw into the trunk and yells at the top of his voice.
They're sitting in the living room having cocktails, listening to New Age Christmas MUSIC.
(CONTINUED )
ate rat
ale n~
ote x
ste “
Behind them, the end of Clark's blue spruce CRASHES through their WINDOW.
Clark's washing his hands. Ellen is scowling at him.
Clark plays dumb. The heat of the moment has cooled and
he feels slightly foolish for his outburst.
That this was my idea. No. I am well aware of it.
we ri
wo ry
ale ”
ge
A244
Clark picks up his chainsaw off the bathroom vanity and
exits.
Clark comes down the stairs. He grabs the newelpost and
the ornamental piece atop it comes loose in his hand.
He
looks at it angrily, puts it back, STARTS UP the CHAINSAW
and levels the newelpost in one, clean swipe.
The burned tree is on the curb next to the chair. The RV backs out of the driveway.
OMITTED
The new tree is up and has been hastily decorated with ornaments salvaged from the burned tree. A single strand of lights, melted, elongated bulbs, and charred tinsel. The family has reassembled in the living room. Clark walks.in and places presents under the tree.
CLOSEUP ~- BETHANY She perks up.
All eyes turn to Bethany.
BETHANY _ Do you hear it? <A funny squeaking sound?
We hear a FAINT but distinctive, HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAL.
A244
ate ry
ale n”
%
“~
ss
’. n
Pa
Snots is locked in the laundry where he's thoroughly chewed up a full load of wash. He stops chewing. He looks at the door. His ears perk up.
The SQUEALING grows LOUDER. Everyone leans forward to listen closer.
HIS POV
Thick, fresh branches with charred ornaments and a single strand of lights.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
From inside the tree. Clark's hand separates the branches as he peers into the tree. A sudden look of shock.
All hell breaks loose as a wild crazed, SHRIEKING SQUIRREL bursts into the room.
. CLARK Holy infant! RUSTY Squirrel!
People are running every which way, bumping into each other. Nora faints dead away in the middle of the room. Lewis' cigar ashes spray as he rams Clark Sr. Ruby Sue and Rocky are screaming at the top of their voices. The women are screaming. Art decks Francis on his way out. The squirrel goes up the drapes and leaps onto the couch.
CLOSEUP - BETHANY
She's oblivious to the mayhem.
CLOSEUP BETHANY'S LEGS
Befitting her age, she's sitting with her legs relatively
far apart. A beat and the squirrel runs up one of her
legs under her skirt. (CONTINUED )
ate “~
Je rad
ate “
ale ”
ale nw
246 CONTINUED: (246 —_ ed CLOSEUP - BETHANY A puzzled look on her face. She grimaces and gives a _* yank on her undies. *
ale n”
ate n
The family's in horror as they watch Bethany.
(MORE ) . (CONTINUED)
A248
A249
Ruby Sue screams. Francis faints.
OMITTED
It's silent. Nora's out cold in the middle of the room. Bethany's still sitting on the couch. Clark and Clark
Sr. tiptoe into the room.
For whatever reason, Nora's playing dead. She lays perfectly still.
Nope. Just lay still. Clark? You want to get Bethany out of here?
Clark steps lightly into the room. He makes a chirping sound. There's no response.
A248
A249
we
ate ray
ale x
we n~
ate “
%
%
lll.
A249 CONTINUED: A249
*%
_ CLARK It probably got scared and ran back into the tree.
%
%
CLARK'S POV *
MOVING TOWARD the tree. % BACK TO SCENE aa
As Clark steps over Nora, she starts to slowly get up. She lifts her butt in the air, afraid to move too
quickly. As Clark passes, CAMERA GOES WITH him, REVEAL- * ING the squirrel on his back. * CLOSEUP - CLARK SR. : *
He sees the squirrel and yells.
CLARK SR. * It's on your back!
BACK TO SCENE * Clark screams, turns and plows into Nora, spilling her
ass over tea kettle again. It's mayhem in the foyer as everyone runs in opposite directions.
B249 INT. KITCHEN B249 %
Ellen and Rusty burst into the kitchen.
%
C249 INT. DINING ROOM C249 Catherine crashes into the dining room table.
D249 INT. KITCHEN | D249 * Clark flies into the kitchen.
E249 INT. FOYER E249 *
| There's a wild scramble for the stairs. Everyone runs up. Audrey runs out of the kitchen with the squirrel
clinging to her head. As she passes the stairs, the squirrel leaps onto Clark Sr. and onto the stairs. *
ate n”
Snots bursts through the door. |
250 OMITTED . 250 *
—
A251
A252
A253
thru A255
B255
Snots charges in from the kitchen, decking Art. Ina spray of foam and spit, the DOG tears up the stairs, BARKING and SNARLING. A beat and the people that ran upstairs plow back down. OMITTED 251
Everyone charges into the living room. OMITTED 252
The squirrel, followed by Snots, clambers down the stairs and runs into the kitchen.
Todd and Margo stand on the porch.
Clark cautiously comes back in. It's silent. Snots and the squirrel charge in from the kitchen. Clark grabs the door handle and whips the door open.
CLOSEUP - MARGO
She's standing in the door. Her eyes pop and she screams.
HER POV
The squirrel leaps for her face. Snots is right behind, heading for her midsection.
%, x
%
%
ate “~~
ste x
“
ed n~
ate x
ate "
A257
slams the door.
The DOORBELL RINGS. The front door opens. Margo steps in. Her face is clawed from the squirrel, the bottom half of her outfit is torn off. Her pantyhose is shredded and hanging around her ankles. Her top is clawed open. :
CLOSEUP - ‘TODD He's horrified. .
CLOSEUP - MARGO
She pushes the hair out of her face. She draws back and throws a mighty punch.
Todd hits the deck. Margo steps over him and heads for the stairs.
Clark comes down the stairs in a Santa suit. Ellen and * the kids follow. Catherine is behind them. Art and = Francis are at the closet getting their coats. x os CLARK Where do you think you're going? = Art and Francis look up at Clark with alarm. * CLARK Nobody's leaving. Nobody's *
walking out on this fun, old- fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We have a full-blown, four- alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on and we're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap- danced with Danny fuckin’ Kaye. And when Santa squeezés his fat, white ass down the chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.
A258
B258
CLARK
Dad? Stay out of this.
The RV whips out of a long driveway and hits the street on two wheels.
Clark Sr. is talking to Clark.
Clark looks at him, feeling slightly foolish. -
(CONTINUED )
A258
B258
C258
D258
E258
CLARK
Good talk, Dad.
The family is seated in the living room. Clark's standing at the fireplace.
The RV ROARS into the driveway and slams to a stop.
He continues his recitation. CLARK When out on the lawn
there arose such a clatter.
(CONTINUED )
B258
C258
D258
E258
+
%
E258
F258
G258
H258
J258
CONTINUED: , E258 CLOSEUP - ROCKY AND RUBY SUE
They listen intently.
The RV door flies open.
Clark steps from the fireplace as he physically interprets the poem.
With great flair, Clark throws open the curtains on a bay at the front of the room.
Clark takes a close look out the window.
The front door opens and Eddie enters with FRANK SHIRLEY.
His hair's-mussed, his face is red with anger, a
Christmas bow is tied tightly over his mouth to silence
him. He's in his pajamas and slippers, bound wrist and ankle in dog chain. He mumbles and grumbles with rage.
The family is gathered in the doorway in stunned silence.
ate ”
%
we is
ale ws
ale a“
K258
L258
M258
Big, proud grin.
He's Speechless with shock.
Eddie looks at Frank.
Frank's eyes bulge in horror.
Frank Shirley's house. The lights are on.
Helen Shirley is on the phone. She's frantic.
The ribbon and chain has been removed from Frank Shirley. He shakes the cramps out of his wrists.
K258 *
+
L258
+
M258
J
No
A262
A263
B263
OMITTED
CLOSEUP - BOOTS
Several pair of Jack boots run across the snow.
Frank's confused. He thinks for a moment. FRANK How did you get a bonus? [I cut out bonuses this year.
CLOSEUP - RIFLE
A fresh clip is slammed into an assault rifle.
Clark is offended by Frank's arrogance.
don't want to give bonuses, that's
fine, but when people count on it as part of their salary, what you did just plain...
A26
B26
%
ste x
ale ”
we
n
we ~
ate ra
. B263 — wy,
C263
D263
L19.
CONTINUED: B263
than happy to take the rap on this. On my behalf and on behalf
of every other employee you rear-ended this Christmas.
CLOSEUP - FRANK
He feels guilty. He looks around the room.
FRANK'S POV
MOVING ACROSS the sad, confused, angry faces of the Griswold family. Clark's weary face, Ellen's embar- rassment, the children's confusion, the cold anger of
the grandparents. Small, common people who are righteous in their innocence.
CLOSEUP - FRANK
He can't sustain his anger. His heart melts. He sees, first-hand the people his bloodless policies affect. After a considered pause he offers his apologies.
CLOSEUP - CLARK
He's bursting with joy. .He looks to Ellen, to the kids, the rest of the family.
The family delights in the news. Ellen runs to Clark. He lifts her off her feet.
. CLARK Merry Christmas, Ellen.
Three suburban squad cars grind to a halt.
Rusty holds up his hand to Clark. (CONTINUED )
D263
E263
F263
G263
H263
J263
K263
L263
CONTINUED: D263
Clark slaps his hand. Audrey kisses him.
Art walks over to Clark and offers his hand.
Clark takes Art's hand.
Police officers stream into the house.
le ~
He turns to the family with a huge grin.
ANGLE G263
Florid, sentimental MUSIC COMES UP. CAMERA PULLS BACK from Clark. OUT the WINDOW TO the lawn and two dozen police officers on the lawn. TO a street jammed with
police vehicles and cops.
%
He barks a sharp order.
Uncle.Lewis standing at the front. door.
A wave of officers approach the house.
Lewis saunters into the living room.
(CONTINUED )
L263
M263
thru
. 265
A266
CONTINUED: ; L263 * UNCLE LEWIS Griz! You got just what you need. More friggin’ company! CLOSEUP - CLARK He turns to Lewis, puzzled. He looks to Frank Shirley. CLARK Frank? Did you call and let your wife know you're alright? CLOSEUP - FRANK It occurs to him that he's forgotten to call his wife. FRANK (pause) No.
The living room windows are bashed-out by rifle barrels.
Cops storm in the door.
OMITTED 263 * thru 265 *
Margo's in bed. Alone. There's a KNOCK on the door.
‘MARGO (yells) Go to hell, you worm!
‘There's another KNOCK.
The door blows off the hinges. Armed officers charge into the room and clamor over the bed to the window facing the Griswold house.
thru See 274
A277
B277
OMITTED
POLICE charge the room.
thru
The family freezes. Clark's on one foot, arms out, caught
in mid-stride. Ellen, Clark Sr., Francis and Frank Shirley, are caught in a rising squat. Nora freezes adjusting her bra. Audrey's adjusting her underpants,
Rusty's about to sneeze. Uncle Lewis is frozen holding a
lighted match. Art is bent forward in pain. Rocky has a finger in his nose, Catherine in holding a hankie to
Ruby Sue's nose, Eddie is adjusting his balls. Bethany continues to drink her eggnog. Snots is in the corner
frozen in a half-seated position.
A police car pulls up and stops at the curb. A middle- aged woman, HELEN SHIRLEY, gets out. A high-ranking OFFICER greets her and escorts her to the house.
The police hold the family at gun point as they search the family.
cop
I told you to freeze!
Clark holds his position and. talks through his clenched teeth.
Mrs. Shirley and the Officer walk in and cross to the living room.
He's frozen in semi-squat with his hand in his hair. FRANK
Helen! ( CONTINUED )
A277
B277
+
OX
%
Soe
Helen runs to Frank and embraces him.
FRANK
There's no business. I'm not *
pressing any charges. * HELEN
What? : * FRANK
It was a mistake. * HELEN
Frank, you were kidnapped. * FRANK
I did something I shouldn't have and these people called me on it.
This is Clark Griswold and his *
family. * ELLEN
Welcome to our home. What's left *
of it. *
Helen is completely baffled.
HELEN
What is going on here? * FRANK
Remember how I was toying with the *
notion of suspending Christmas *
bonuses? * HELEN
You didn't... * FRANK
I changed my mind. I'm *
reinstating all the bonuses. *
(CONTINUED )
thru
C283
D283
E283
CONTINUED: (2) HELEN Of all the cheap, lousy ways to Save a buck. I'm ashamed of you, Frank. FRANK You're not going to fire me, are you, honey? CLOSEUP - ROCKY He's standing at the window looking out.
Everyone turns to Rocky.
OMITTED
Rocky runs into the foyer and dashes outside.
The family, the police, Frank and Helen exit.
Rocky stands on the lawn, looking up at the sky.
one comes outside and gathers around him.
A red dot of light, low in the sky. ‘EXT. FRONT YARD - CLOSEUP - CLARK
He looks up at the light with a grin.
| CLARK That's the Christmas star.
_A snowflake falls.
Every -
thru
A283
B283
C283
D283
E283
Oe
L) See
F283
G283
H283
Aunt Bethany's standing in the doorway. She begins to recite softly.
Clark takes Ellen's hand. Ellen takes Audrey's hand. Audrey takes Rusty's hand. Rusty takes Nora's hand. Nora takes Francis's hand. Francis takes Frank Shirley's hand. And so on until everyone is holding hands.
OMITTED H28 3 se
ote n~
Aunt Bethany begins to sing.
CLOSEUP - LEWIS — He's standing next to the Santa on the curb. He has a cigar in his mouth. He strikes the match on the Santa's *
ass and lights his cigar. . “
UNCLE LEWIS
That ain't the friggin’ Christmas * Star, Griz. That's the light on * the water treatment plant. a CCLOSEUP - CLARK A terrible thought crosses his mind. *
CLOSEUP - LEWIS
He finishes lighting the cigar and shakes the match. (CONTINUED )
CONTINUED: | 283 CLOSEUP - CLARK He makes a move for Lewis.
drops in the sewer. There's a FLASH of light. An EXPLOSION.
The explosion blows the Santa and the reindeer and the Merry Christmas sign into the sky. Everybody hits the deck. Bethany remains standing.
CLOSEUP - BETHANY
She looks into the sky.
The Santa rockets into the air, glowing and sparking.
looking to the sky. She puts her hand to her heart and begins to sing again.
~
Everyone puts their hands to their hearts and joins in.
CLOSEUP ~ RUBY SUE
She looks up into the sky.
we “
% OF
The Santa and the reindeer and the sign arc arcoss the full moon.
A huge smile.
real. CLOSEUP - CLARK He looks at Ruby Sue and gives her a wink.
Frank and Helen, the police, the grandparents, Eddie and his family, Rusty and Audrey are crowded into the living room.. The grandmothers are serving coffee. The police commander's playing the piano and the officers are sing- ing, in less than wonderful voices, "I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS."
Clark's still in the yard looking up at the Christmas star. Ellen puts her arm around his waist.
She kisses his cheek and heads back to the house. Clark continues to look at the star.
%
%
ale ray
ale ~
ate x
ale n“
128, CONTINUED: 289 He laughs to himself. -
Snots returns from the squirrel chase and saunters over to Clark. Clark looks down at him.
HIS POV - CLOSEUP - SNOTS Snots looks up at him, sucks, COUGHS, and...
CLOSEUP - CLARK
ot
Spits. A troubled thought crosses Clark's mind. CLOSEUP - CLARK'S LEG Snots puts his paw between Clark's feet.
Ellen stands in the doorway.
He looks down at Snots and then to the door.
, CLARK In a couple minutes, honey.
She goes inside and closes the door. The lights on the house go off.
%
He looks down at Snots.
. CLARK Merry Christmas, Snots.
FADE ON Clark's smiling face. THE SINGING DOGS' rendition of "JINGLE BELLS" COMES UP and...
L29 i.
POST-CREDITS
| Ly FADE IN: | 294 INT. TODD AND MARGO'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 294 They're in bed. TODD It's over, honey. Griswold had his Christmas. Nothing else can happen. It's quiet, it's peaceful, all is calm. © ” MARGO Will you just hold me? | TODD Of course. He folds her into his arms. TODD Let's go to sleep and let visions of sugarplums dance in our heads. MARGO oo I'm so tense. 7 TODD
Sweetheart, if we don't go to ‘sleep, Santa Claus won't come.
A long beat and the SANTA, the REINDEER and the LIGHTS CRASH through the ceiling into the bedroom.
ate x