"THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER" (1981)

•MOPPETMOVIEII• (workingtitle)

Screenplayby TomPatchett I

Pillll.1coFil.11111Limited, EMIElatrffStudio■, ShanleyRead, Sorehamwood,Herts. ~• 22ndJuly1980 Tel:(01)9531600Ext9<

1. Inside•circleinthecenterofthebrightlycolored1. moviescreen,ANIMAL'SFACEAPPEARS.Ria■yH.dart from■ idetoaide,uifh•'•100:.ingatth ■aadienca, thenh•aaddenlyroar■,inthe111&Merof,the!GILion. Followingtheinitialroar,heanarla•couplemore Umu, thenprocHdatoeatthe■ crHR,chompingaway hu9eaaction•,onebititata1:J.111•,untilhe••devoured it all.Draggingdownth•lutmor■ -1,Allilllaldrop■ ;, outof thepicture,laavingbehindnothingbut•bright bluesky.

2. SKY.-DAY 2. Everaoslowly,•hotairballoondriftsaero ■-the acrHR likea■ peckonth•horizonandAPPIU:ll'RlATE SOARINGDRIFTING11ALLOONMt!SIC1•h ■ard.Througha aeriesofDISSOI.WSutheballoongetsabitcloser, we can■ ffthatIC!:IIIIT,FOZZIEandGONZOareinthe basketbelow.Th ■irvoicaacanl>eheardinthedistance.

KEmlIT Prettyniceuphere,1.sn•tit? FOZZIE Whatifwedriftoutto••• andarenevarheardfromagain? Orwhatifth.era'•aatorm?Or weget■ trUcltbyl1ghtnJ.ng7 GONZO That'db•neat. KERMIT Nothing'agoingtohappen.Thia iajuattheopeningcr■dits. OPENINGCUDITSBEGINTO'1'J!ERI=OFTHEBAI.I.OOll. XElU!IT

(points) seeoverthere•••LawGradeand MartinStergerpresent•.. FOZZIE Oh,yeah.That••aavalleffect.

z. COIITINUED: z. ltElll!IT Densonagain,hull?Howcc,me he' ■alway■involved?

rozzn: Yoolikethetitle?

z. CONTI_NOED• z. GONZO Didn'toneofthoae9uyaplay Yoda?

Bythetime1:11 ■CREDITSENI>.thecameraha■POSHEDIN toa mucbclo■ er■hotofthethreeballoonist■•

Pozzi ■yankstheripccrdandtheballoonjerk•into theair.

'l.'heballoonbeginstodeflaterapidlyandplummet■ earthward.

l. EXT. STREET-DAY

It-landsvitha'Whooahona■ treatiaaMetropolitan City,baketfirst,covered1-dJ.at■ lybythelarge deflate4balloon.A■ tunnedcrow49atheraand9awka. Afterabeat,t:onzocrawl ■outfromunderatlap.,

- . J. COtlTINUEO J. SONC1 "WE'RECONNABEAMOYIE" •z • KERMIT There'llbeaapectacle There'llbefantasy There'llbederrlngdo An stufflikeyouwouldneversee

FOZZIE,CONZO Yeah! We'regonnabeamovie

•••And■ e 'le•lttaketheWC11"ld. Andsetlton itsear FOZZIE,KERMIT C' ■ onJoinln le'regonnastartrighthere MUSIC:VAMP

KERMIT,CONZO,rOZZIE But■ 1thusoncall We'llfl~lt111realeasily

Aprettylittlekittywalksunderaladder. KERMIT· Heyf'ozzle.did•J•seethat!Conzo·••• geta pictureofthekitty.

,. CONTIHUED ). CONZO Okoy•••getittostand,till. Thekittenteepa■ ovingandConzo,FozzieandKer ■ it

the ■,•Jewelrobberylatakingplace.A■ askedTHIEF, dressedentirelyinblaCt,aavrtorhisredandwhite striped■ octa,1te1l1adla ■ ondnecklacefro■•wealthy woman,1claaaylookingMATRONorabout50.

roil•downthestreetandknock•theladderoutfro ■ under1■ anpaintingasign.Theladderfallaonthe mantryingtogetoutofthe■ anhol~,knockinghimback intothehole,whilethepainter'spaintbruahsplats lntoth8faoeofIconstructionworkerwho11carrying livee•ploaives,whichflyoutofhishandandintothe openmanholecover.

HOtlSTERS HeylA movie! SFX:EXPLOSION

Conzo1nap1atlashpictureorKermitandfozzlestriking 1 sillypose.FREEZEFRAME.

IIIT. EDITOR'SOFFICE-DAY

Beginontull■ er..,,matching■hototblackandvbite pbotootICarmitandFozzia.Almost1-diately,th" photoVhic:llisonth•trontpa,;aotan-•paperis

IUICETARICANIAH;CityEditorottheDaily"Chronicle,and hais lividvithraga.Thevain■inbi ■neck■ tand outu ha beratesICai:mit,Pozzi•andGonzo,vbotremble in tearintrontotbisdesk.Duringbistirade, Tarkanianpoundshi•tistonth•desktoru,pbaaia. Eachimpactcausesthethr-:tuppat.stojumpinth■air.

TARXA!IIIIN Bowcouldyoumi ■■astorylike that?IRightintrontotyour iiciiis1Itpracticallybityou oii""E>a■ eat.aotyourpant.aI There•anoexcuse1

'OZZIE Iguua thi■vouldb•thewrong timetoa ■kforarai ■ a. TARICAHIAH I'11giveyouaraiseI I

Ha•lamabisti■ tonthedeskagain,Hnclingth■Muppet.a thrH taatintotbaair.

TARllAIIIAH Y'•••th•••haad.linaa? H•diaplaysthethr..rivalnewapap■ r•asKermitand 'ozziepeakoverth•desk.

TA!UWILUI "LadyHoliday' ■jwd■■ tolen".'?hat' ■ Whatit■ ay ■inthaTima ■•Bare'. theHerald,"l'uhionOu••notI.pndon Bobbed.·, (pausingtorettect) Andla ■ t,butnotluat,here' ■our cate,littlebanner■ tory.- Bethr-•a copyottheChronicleontopottheother paper■•Theheadlinesays,•IdenticalTwin■Jointhe ChronicleSteU",aboveapoorlycompoeedpictureot Kez:m.itand.l'ozziepo ■ ingintheatr..t.

"IdenticalTvinaJointheChrcnicle Statt•.N-, whichpaperwouldyou buy?

'OZZIE I'dbuytheonethatha■"DearAbby". Tarkaniu,■ 1....hi•ti ■ tagaininaxa ■ perationandtha lluppetsareagainpropelledintotheair.

Kermitandl'ozziehitthetloorinaheap.Gonzohang■ tramalightfixture.

'l'AUAIIIAII Oh,yeah.Now~••• it.But, t:hat'SDOucuaeforblow1D9tb• ■ tory.

rozzu: We'lldobett■rnexttime.

TAlUCANIAII (increduloualy) N■xttillle!7Nexttime!?llhat male••youtbiaktb•r•'•901\nab• aJ!!!1~7 URIIIT Iftb ■ r■ian't,it'•90nnabaa -realshortD>Vie.

'?ARXANIAII TheonlyreaaonIhiredyoutwo jark•intbefintplacevu bec■ "8eyouroldmanvu•friend ofmine.

He indicat■aapi~ur•ofh.l.maelfvitbhi•aJ:111aromid a 92'-■abear.

A•he EXITSintotbeadjacentCityAoom,hepoint•to Gonzo.

And9etthatthin9offtbece1l1n9.• • Raslam•thedoorbehindhim.Kermitandro.::ziestand tbera,bev1ldered,••Gonzocraaheatothefloor.

TarkanianD>vu11Witt:lytz,amc!ellktocSuk,checking onatoriuin pro11re ■■,verybu■ ine ■ alike&De!proteaaional. Menin■hi.rt■ lHvubangawayontypewriter■,working cSiligent:ly.Vl\ileTZU:'l'YPEMACIIIRESCLACII:int:heback- grouncS.Tarkanianteal ■atuggingathi•■ leave,look■ c!ownancS■Hahzmit.

TlUUtAHIAN IalraacSytole!you,Fozzi ■•••. yoa•r•fired.

I'mKam.1.t. (point■toFozzie) .!!.!FoIzie. TlUUtAHIAN ClooksbackancStort..'>. att:h ■twoott:hem) Oh,yeah. Th■hat. (b ■ atl Azlyway,you'ret:hrough. I'mnotgivingyouyourjobsback.

Gonzoiatakingpicturuoteverythingarounc!him.

Dlllll:T We don'twantyoatoc;iv•ua anythinq.Wa'regonna■ amour jobsbackby■ olvingt:hatj-el robberyt:h=uqhcrackinve■ t19at1ve r■ pcrting.

Don'tmakem■laugh. (then) Rowb■ atit•••I'v■gotapaper toran.

Gonzo■ nap ■afla■ hl:nzlbiDTarkanian' ■fac■•Tarkanian recoil■•

TlUUtAHIAN (blinking) Oh,1 ■thatall?

FOZZU: Well,wecouldus•■ caa.,_ luna9eforthetrip.

Tarkanian■ lam■hi ■fiatonade■kandeveryl>odyinth• room,incllld1119thetbrullllp:;,et■,rai■ e ■aboutafoot offthegrolllld.

'l'AlUtANIAII Iwouldn'tpayanickelto••nd youillY•acrouthestreatI Go11zosnapsanotherflashofTark&llia11.

TAlWUIIAII GetoutofhereI (rub ■hi ■eye ■) I'v■9otadeadlinetomeat. Retll%DatoEXITbackintohi ■office.

TAlUtAIIIAN ·(turn■) I'llt■ llyouwhat,Kermit•••■ ince you'resuchacrackinve ■ ti9at1va raport■ r,youfigur ■itout.

tluhahotonce...re.Ezaaperata4,haEXITSintohia ottica.

AnintarnatianalflightaoaraacroHth ■Atlantic carryingaloadofluclcypusangaratoEuropa.

Amongtiftsanortwentyanimalcagu,wllichcontain barkingdog•,"""""ingcat■andlot■ofo,..lota,tllraa cage ■inparticular■ tan4out.ThH ■aramarka4 •pro9•,•a.ar•and-vbataver•andcont&Jm.ltem.it,

auitc&Hbeai4ahim.Th•r•aremanylargerauitca•••

ICEl'IMIT (ahiftring) ihat4oyoufigure?It'sfifty below,orwhat?

rozzn: Oh,yeah.I kaapmixingu■up. (than) Wonl4youpre■ athaho ■ t•••call button?I'mgettinghungry.

ltERIIIT Iguaaathey4on'tHrftfoo4in ninthclus.

l"OZZll Twalftbuclc■an4wa4on'tevengat a..al? C~TIHIIED

'OZZIE __---------And-•e-'r•auppoHcStojwot90 alongvithitlikeabunchof· bucSg1..1 Abuc!qi•1nacaqechirp ■angrily.

'OZZIE (continuecS) Nooff•n••· GONZO

i!awn7I'mtryingtowatchthe

■ arroundln9:.Jauthec!oortothehole!OPENS.

Beyl Samebody'scoming.

l'OZZIE Mayb•they'r■bringingbamburg•ra. 'ooUt•P•approach.It1aa!'I.IGB'l'S'l'EWAR!l.

S'l'EWAllD AllO~tforEnglancSI KERIU'l' Oh,great.Theplane' ■landJ.ng. '1'11 ■stawarcSopen■acargocSoor.Lightpoursintoth• hole!.

S'l'EWAIUI llo•••th ■plan•lanc!ainItaly•

'l'he■ tawarcShurl ■thec■ g••outofth•plan•.

A baarc!ac!birdwatcher■ tanc!snuttoapone!,pe•r1ng thraaghIliabi.noc1llara.Reh•araa■ trangaY•llfrom &bow.

Th•birdwatcherquicklyfocua-■onthreespeckshurtling towardtheeartb:rama41zzyingh•iihtastbeSotlllDOF

A JETD:CMIICISBESintbe41atance.

10. E:IIGL:CSBCOUR'rr!S:rDE-DAY. 10. Withinafew■ econds,thrNcages,containing-ltemit, Fozzi•&Dd·Gonzo,apluhdowninth■poll4,spraying water011tbebirdwatcher,whotake ■th•binocular ■ fromhis■y-■• ThetbreeMuppet&,bobbingapanddownontopofthe water,peerattheman,andtb1DktheyrecOCJni.zehim, butcan'tbe•=•. In tzutb.he'.J:rKBEIISON.inhi■ motionpicturec!■but,lookingalittlesillyinweed lcnickus.K■ J:1111t,Fozzi•andGonzostareathim incr ■c!ul.on■ l.¼'~·-th•n-look..ateach.oth ■ r.quizzic:ally. thanbeckatJim. J:rK Doyouknowme7 lllllU'r Oh•••no.tledon'tknowanybody aroull4her■ •We'r•tryingto9 ■ t toLonc!antointervi-LadyHoliday. Sea,we'recrackinveatig-ative r■porte:caonaaaigmoentfromthe DeilyChronicleandwe'retryingto fill4outwho■ toleLadyHoliday' ■ :i-■ 1■•Well,actuallywe'renot technicallyana■■ ig-nmantbecau.ae Mr.lfeikanianfiredu■ ...I'll:. Tarkanian,he' ■am:aditor••••I maan.,wasam:aditar.Imaan,he' ■ ■ till·tliieditor,it' ■jn■ tthat. we'renolon.,.rvitbthepapez••• officially.ButifweaolY■the jewalrobbery,we're110nna9et .. ourjob ■back.Andwe're~ tosolveit.We jn■ tdan'tluiow howquiteyet.Wehaven'treally d■rt ■■da9._pl■ n.Butwe havealotofideas.See,thetziclc iagoingtobe•••• COHTDIUED

Ponieud Oonaoletoutau411>1•■ i9haofboredom.

Ja:IUIIT Anyway,maybeyoucouldrec,._,,d a placefor11■toatay•••lilcea niceoh£aphotel•••prefer&bly a frH otel•••wedon'thave IIIUOh..,ney.

Kermit,Pouieanda■ lightlyII099YGonaor14ecm topofand doμbledeckerbu■a■itdrive ■tbroizgh the■ trHtaofI.andonintheglitter1A9tvili9bt.• TIIAVELINGMUSIC1abeard,abuaybaatle-ba■ tletype thameremini•centof•AnAmericaninPari••• rozzn: Idon'tknowifI truatedthat birdwatcher.

POZZI!: Bea....SmenipulaUve.

Where?AllI•- ia aclock. STATLER That'•it.That'•BigBen. It'•ovaraeftnhundredyear■ old.

WAI.DOR!' Whydon'ttheygetvitllitand makeitdigital?

There'•theThameaRiver. WALDORF It'spronounced•T-•.

14. nrr. BUS. BAPPIIIUSHO?EL-DOSX

Ontopotthebua,lte:m1t,Fozz1eandGonzoric!ealon9, ,mtUtheyhearthec!river'•voice,yel11n9.

15. UT. BAPPIIIESSHOTEL-DIJSlt

'rhathreeMuppet■lane!onth•s1c!awalkaa·th•bu ■ ■-4■ away.

GO!IZO Ilikeit. Butthen,I'mDLlta. fflauteri.orotthehotelcoulc!bec!a■ cril>ac!u ram■h&eklaatbut.ItlooksaaoutotplaceinI.on.Son u EvaPeronc!ic!c!urin9her111-tatec!vis1t■ omayears baclc.Itthere1■aneon■ 19D,letter ■arem1Hin9. Itthere1aa tla9,it'•torn.Ittherearewinc!ow■, -t arebroken.Ittherearec!oon,theyarewar;,acS. ItthetecaclaiapaintecS,thecolonantaclac!. ICERlll'l' (ruc!in9acluppec! ■ i9D) "Bappinea ■Hotel.It' ■Weirc! butit'•cheap.•Soanc!■perfect.

FOZZII! (apprehensively) It th1•1 ■theHappinea ■Hotel, I wonderwhatthesadonelooks like.

'l'h•lobbylook■likeLondon•••aftertheb11t:z.KeJ:llll.t, Pozzi•andGonsowalktentaU,,.lythrouglltb,1broken furni ■hin9•toagrimyreceptiondukwenPOPS,the reg-i ■ trationclen,■ it■,ewattin9bat■• DIINIT Bi. We'dlikearoom,plea■ e. POPS (■ urpri ■ edl Really?

AlltheMuppet■joininthemu■ icalwelccaetoKezm!t, Pozzi•andGonso.Member■ofth•BlecticMaybemplay in■ trwilent■fromalll&kubiftbandstandinthecenterof th•lobby,Whileotber■■ in9anddance,andRATSdreHed a■bellllopsenter,pickupthelu99a9eand■ curryacross tbelobbywitb~.Occa■ ionally,jokucanbeheard inter■ pusedwitbMDSIC. BANJODl'?RO -c- POPS Ob,there'•noUrein th•fireplace There' ■nocarpetonthefloor Don't"trytoorderdinner '1'11en••nokitchenanymore Butif th•road' ■beenkindabumpy Andyoun-d tore ■ ta■pell ALL Well,welcomehc:aa ToHappin•••Hotel -2 - COHTIIIIJED

1&. COIITilltl!:D: 16.

MUSIC:VlUIP-12- POPS ItoFonie) Bowar■youczuy■v,mn■pay your1>111?

XERMI'l' Whatareourchoicea?

FOZZJ:E ·we•11talc•c.

SCOO'l'ER It::rouqotluqqaqek-■ pithandy Butyou'rerwuunq'out&luck 'Caueth ■l>ellhop ■ain'ttooorqani•ed Andth■al ■vator' ■•tuck RIZZO Stillityoudon'tmindtri ■ndlyanimals Andcanlearnto•t&ndtha■-ll AU. w..11,welconahoma 'l'oHappin•••Hotel MUSIC:VlUIP-6-

ltERMI'l' (tolloVUl I-y be mistalcen,l>utthel> ■ llhop• looklikerata•

JW:lWiol' You4hould•••thechaml> ■ IClll&idaI Animal~onclrwu,n•pondawitharimahotHSamth■ E'aql ■approachH.

- 4- Musicandar••Ratscro ■ svitblu99a9•.

CON'l'INDED

r r

~··

16. COllflNIIED: 16.

GO!IZO Fine.Whatrule■ ? SAM" Noelephant■inyourroom·after au o'clock.,i GONZO Thank•forth•Up• SAM Speakin9oftip ■,don'tUpthe rat■•They'reveryproud. Theyhavechildrenincolle9e.

C0tlll1'RYGIIODP Welcomehome

COCNTRr_GIIODP Welcamehome Homatterwhereyouwander Youwon'teverdou w.11 MUSIC:VlUIP-4- ·

Olt,theLobl>y'alookin'ahabby Andit'•9otthewron9addreH DR'rEl!:TII AndtheWholedan9thin9bub-n condemnedby'llllr1canExpreH JAIIICJ: Still-the1Una9ementl ■c:h-rful Thou9bthewholeJoint'•9.....,tohell AI.I. Oh,Welcamehoma To RappinuaRot•l MOSIC:VlUIP-24-

11•-.J

r

•.•""·....J•·

16. COIITilllJED: 16.

IEIUll'l' (toband) You'JUY ■livehen?

-

ZOOi' Yeah,well,b•••llP••tabout llliaa1n11th■Monetexhibitat th■llationalGalluy•

•I

Drumkick-4 -intoinstrumental.

-16 - ROWI.F Ob, thenarebU'l■

....-

17. CONTINUED: 17.

POZZIE

'i You'" CJOtava,:ylundotcritter I

• GOIIZO You'regotava,:ykindotpeat• POPS Batve treat•-allaaequals JuatUlt•anyotherCJUUt ELECTRICMAYHEM ·Thoughyou'recl•an•rthantheothers Stillastar••we cantall ALI. You.'11titriCJ~t1DtoHappin•••Hot ■ l

. KERMITandFOZZIE

Wa'lltitriCJht1D ALL To Happinu■Hotal Duringthis,Gonzohasposedeveryoneforagroup pictureinfrontofka.mit' ■room.

j I '1'betluhbulbpopsandtilepicturetra■ z ■s■va,:yonator

etarmt:ystartnCJbuCJ- ■yad,nopupilsinth■ ir•Y••like

thakid■tram"VillaCJ■otTh•Damned"..ti!•MIISICEIIDS • • I i',, C1J'1'TO:

K ■ zmit,FozziaandGonzostandinthemiddlaotthair m■ aCJ■rlivinCJquart■ninsilanc■,theirluCJCJ•CJ• toHtldcaraleaalyonthefloor.

Their•room•iabarelytba.t-it' ■moreilk ■acubicle, containinCJonlyabad,abareliCJhtbulb.au■ pandtld tramthecail1D9,andaainCJl•brokenwindowov■ rlookinCJ tile■ traat,whereadullambarCJUliCJhtoftena11ttl• additionalillumination. GONZO (lookinCJaround) Notbad. (ind.icatiDCJon■corner ot theroam) niasinkprobablywantbaz:9. CONTilltlED

r r

17. C0NTINOEI)' 17. Pozzi■■ Ucl<ahi■bandthroughtbebrokenvindoW. POZZI!: W■ 'v■gotairconditioning, C:ONZO Whattimedoyoutbinkit1 ■ 7 rozzn: About■ igbto'clock.· C:ONZO We'dbetterg■ ttb■elephant■out. 'OZZIE I'•hUDgry.

KEJ!MIT CallroomHrvice.

'OZZIE There• ■nophone.

C:ONZO So what?'ftlen•■nofood. ltEIQIIT Look,whydon'tveju■ ttorg■ t aboutl!oodandg■ tagoodlligbt'• ■ leap.if■hav■to.getupearly to interviewI.AdyHoliday. Tileyall■ tarttogetreadytorb ■ d. POZZIE I ■ w:ecouldus ■aoaetbingtroa oneor moreofthebasicfood group■• Tileycli!Dbintotbabed.

KZl1MIT We'llhavebr■ akta ■ tinthe ""'ming.Rightnow,let'•ju■ t be th■nkl!ulwe'r■here. Ju■ tthen,tbebedslam■upintothewallwithtbe threeMuppetsin■ ida,■ aveforahand,•foot,atuft othair■ tickingouttra111thetopand■ idea. OOIIZO

COllTmtJED

~ .-.,.

17. CONTI!JIJED: 17. KEIUIIT

' cansomebodyturnoutth■lights?

lllobo4ycan,ofcourse,butafteracoupleofseconds,

I • theain9l■o.,,.rb■ a4bulbdropsoutofthe■ocJc■ t,9o■ a

outan4abettanonth■floor.lloW,justthecl1m9aa- li9btfromoata14■thevin4allilluminatestheroom. kEkMl't (continu■4) (inth■• ■1111-.sar>cn■ul Th&Dlcs. DISSOLVETD:

18. Ill'1'.LADYHOLIDAY'SOFFICE-DAY 18. IDthebeautifullyap;,ointed,luxuriousofficeofLADY HOLIDAY,thestyliabmatroniaatbu4aattallcin9into on ■ofabanJcoft■ l■phonuvbil■tbrH■xquiaitaly 4rua ■4a,n4coiffedmo.Sela,cr.m.A,llAIILAAHODARLA

r·•. vaitpatientlyin■xa99■ rat■.smodelpo ■ u. "/ LADYHOLIDAY

(intophone) Ho,-darU.nq..-,·youmuatcall-th•• Dnita4Stat••andtellVo9U■they can'tbav■th■picturuofthe ■prinqlineuntilaftarth•abav••• I'mnottoobappywithsomeofthe 4ea19DS••••Istillbav■tomale■some chanq••••··•·• Sb••YB•models. Well,I'mloot1D9attbrHofthe qawnanowan4Ican•- bon■ nc!cua miata>c■ a•••ofcoursePanaaboul.4 be notified••••••Oh,thanlcyou 4arl1n9••••yuI'mfin■•••Ibad quiteascare•••Ivaa'thurt••• ofco=-•,thediamondawen valuable.Allmy41amon4aare valuable. Sb■banqaupthepbon ■thenriaHan4vallc■aroundthe -■la, atu4yin9them.Totheuntrained•Y•theylooJc liJc ■amillionbucta,buttoLa.SyHolidaytheyloolc considerablyluaexpensive. CON'l'IIIDED

,,....)

r

·.-....'\,:..'.:···" .,.~

18. CONTI!lOED:

VDICJ:DIilINTERCOM(D.S.) Yu, LadySoliday?

19. nrr. LADYHOLIDAY'SOFFICE-DU 19,

'?her■isaabortIINOCEonthedoorfr-andMISSPIGGY appears,carryin9aportfolio.

(·

-~- ..-~..:., ,.,~-..

19. CONTINtral): 19. MISSPIGGY Yoo-hoo• • •LadyHoliday••• LADYUOI.It>AY (shocked) Goodheavana•••whoareyou? MISSPIGGY Myname1•Miu Piggy.Iwould liltetobeahighfuhiODmodel. LADYHOLIDAY I'mnotsurprised.Thataeemato bethewaywe'reheadin9. Mi••PiggyhaeEIITEIIEDtheofficeandboldlyapproaches LadyHo.11day. MISSPIGGY Ihavealway■dreamedofbeinga Holidaygirl.I'vebroughtlliy jene■ ai ■quoiandIIIYportfolio

) .., allthewaytoI.ondODwitha■ ingle ,,,,...._i ~al inmind.To-•t you••,

'1'heoneandonlyLadyHoliday. (•tandingincliuaway fromher) MayICO-·in? LADYHOI.l:DAY Aloaolutelynot. MISSPIGGY l!ayI■howyouIIIYportfolio? I.ADYHOI.l:DAY llo. Mia■Piggyha•openedherbookandtw:DIIthe;,aqa ■• On uchpage1 ■aglamour■hotinth•■ ameclothe ■ andin th•aamepo ■ e. MISSPIGGY (u■hetarn■th•page) See,thi ■1 ■..reekinggrandeur.•• your■trulyactingaloof••••• a9ain,ma,being-demure•••and, lutbut notleaat,this,ofcow:ae, ia..lookingcoqaettiab.•.•• LADYHOLIDAY (aarcut1cally) Interesting-rangeofemotions. COIITINOED

,:-'..:,·,

19. CONTINlJEI): 19.

I cantype.Ican talt•sllort- hand. Icanmakacorr-. I candoit all.

KiaaPiggyillmla<liatelyaitaandtalc- ■outaatanopad. IIJ:SSPIGc.Y I can■ it.I'mgoodatsitting. SitUng1 ■on ■o-tmybutthings• LADYHOLIDU Juataettl•down•••plaua. KISSPIGGY Okay. I'mtin■•Everybodyrelax. LADYHOLIDAY ArayouqUitaundercontrol? KISSPIGGY Coolu a cucumber.I'ma-okay. You'vegotyouraalfajewelhen, baliavama.Goaboutyourbuain■H. LADYSOLIDAY Now•••I'llbalunchingwitlimy nephew,Nicky.He••Hcondincommand hare.Somedayal'lthiswillbahi ■• Youthinkh•'•apoorchoicetofollow inmy footatepa,don'tyou?sure,h• gamblesandincurs.baddebts,hu generallybeen•paininth■necksince (MO!!!:)

r r

19. CONTINCED:·

(continued) . bi ■parentsaboac!onec!billandleftbill iamycare,enc!■urebe1:41cHac!v1111tage oflllllandu•••,qcharg-eaccowita, eat■myfooc!,11114bor%0V ■mycanvitll- outHkingpemia ■ ion.Maybebe' ■eftll elittlegreaayanc!Wl■ avo,:y11114certainly be' ■aottobetnatec!.Ivoulc!a't evenput'1tpaatbilltot,:ytosteal mymoatvaluable11114largeatjavel••• t.'MIfabulouaBaaaballDiamond.Anc!I don'tknowwhyhealwayswearsthosegod.- awfulrac!andvbit■■ tripec!■ocka. Stillinall,bebaagooc!tHtb11114he keep■bi ■roomn-tanc!1atbiaclay11114 •9•that'snottob•■nHzedat. MISSPIGGY Why.areyoutelling-allthis?

LADYBOLIDl'.Y It'•plot■xpo ■ ition.Itbaatogo somewhere. HiH PiggyNODS.

LADYBOLIDl'.Y (coatinu■c!) Anyway,Iwantyoutoanswerthe pboaevbil ■I'mgoneandstraighten theoffice.

LADYBOLIDl'.Y

Iwas feisty,too,whenIvaa younger.

LADYROLIOl'.Y (■ 11111..) Cu,:yon,I'llbebaclcinanhour. MISSPIGGY Excellent,Eve,:ytbing1 ■unc!ar control.nottosweat. LadyBol14ayEXITS.

CtJ'1'TO:

~ ..· ·,:, ·:,•,...

20. LADYIIOI.IDllY'SOFFICE-DAY.

unabletocontainbar■ alfanylnn9er,leap■one:■more forjoy,■ crauu.n9barbappin•••.Aft•rlatt1n9it ■ ink1nfora....,.nt,ab••-•banalfinaIll.norand ab•an4liarIll.norima9•■ in9aduataboutMr900d fortuneandtllaopportunityab•bu.

I llotju■ tfort:ha9lory

Butto gr..,an490on An~to trya9ain - Startin9ban CouldImak•myw·aythrouqb Breakawayfromtb•pa■ t ''1'11tb•draamabavacomatrue AndI knawt:haycanlut Iat:hara-ody n- Who'Ube therewhenI'mfree Coulditbema - Coulditbama

Cll'1''1'0:

21. RECEPTIONAREA,-DAY 21. Intbacarpetedlobbyar..adjacenttoLadyeoliday'• offic:a,modal•walkbackan4forth,udod- ■ ic;nar■

~- ..~..:.

21. CDN'l'DltJEDI 21 •

bu1141ng.Darla,Carlaan4Marla,wearingtheirc,wn cloth•••waitfo:theelevator.

HouseofLettuce!That••calorie city.

MARLA

' SupposeIjustorderoneleaf. ""\ ; CARIA

Bey,it'syourwa1 ■ tline.

IW!I.A (pon4■ ringthl.a) Maybeyou'reright.·Nolunch.

getout,an4the11104■ 1.aget1n.

KERIII'? Excusema.Where1 ■Lac!yHol14ay' ■ office?

KeElllit.an4!'ozziawalkaway.Gonzo,takenwiththe a,dela,tum.atawatchthem.

'-·

•.. .._.,

21. 'CCIIITIHtlED:

CARLA •' Ithinkthereia.

Th••levatordoomcloae,butGonzo,who1•captivated withtheb•autyofthe....s.1a,start•togetbackon. Th•c!oorscloaerightonhisncH.Hacan• twrench it frH.

FozziaCCDUbackandpull ■Gonzofr•••Ganze••noaa 1 ■benthorriblyoutof•hpae,evenmorethanu■ U&l. FOZZll Youokay?

Youguys■ tayhere.I'mgoing totrytotalktoLadyHoliday. GONZO Great.

Rapu■hu theelevatorbuttonandwaitsrightinfront ofthecloaa4doors.

GONZO

C........Pcft•••getyourDOHin hara. It'srHllyfun.

Kermitwalksdowna corridor,passingthreedoors,one

CONTINOED

zz. COHTlNUED:

marked•r.Malt:mon9er,VicePreaidant•;one marked.•or.Hibbard.,Sal ■■llan•t•r1atbird.a:arked.1 "Nicky-irre ■ponaihl•pera ■ ite•.

Adeliverymanhold.intapaclc•t•1al•anl:ntin ■ id.ethe door.

Kermitcontinue ■downtbecorridortoatourthdoor, on•marked."t.ad.yHoliday"'MDSICand.SINlINGcanb ■heard., ..MiH Pi"iiYfOHinto•repriHother■ ODf.

COT'1'01

23. nrr. .LADYHOLIDAY'SOFFICE-DAY 23.

MISSPIGGY

Breakawaytromthepeat 'Tilthedream■havacomatrue

Iatbereaomebod.yn.., Who•11bethenwhenI• mfree • - Could.itbeme - Could.itbeme

111HPifiY•int•thetinalnote■other■ onf.She tvirlaaround,at ■paupanthedukchair,thenthe d.■ akit■ elt,uthedooropenaand.Kezmit■ tand.awatch- in9. l'i9gy,unawareah ■' ■bein9cba■ rved,hitathe lastnoteotthe■ Ol1f.'?h■MDSICE!IDSWithKi ■ aPiiff atandintonthed.a■ k,herarm■outatretched..Shehold.a thatpoa ■,in■ ilenca.

Excuseme. 111HPiiffreact ■withherbacktoKermit,tbinkint ta■ tinanettorttoexplainherpo ■ it.ion. MISSPIGGY So,whatdoyouthinkotthe wallpaper?

COIITIIIUED

JJ

23. COIITilltlED:

Well•••

Miu Piqgycontinues,■ tillnotlookinq~lte:cmit. KISSPIGGY Personally,I•dUJ,e·toaeea nice.,..llfloralprint,vitba biqportr&ito.tLadySolidayrii;bt tben,and4ovnattbiaend•••&iHe ■el Ilia ■Piqgybuwalkedofftbeendofb-desk,and fallen1ntotbevutepaperbasket,vbar■abelie■, stunnedand'1l'OC19Y·lte:cmitru■ butoher■ ic!e. URIIIT tadySoliday.LadySoliday, areyouallriqht.

FromIii■■Piqgy's■ emJ.-con■ ciou■po1ntofVi-,K ■ :cmit lookslikeaqreanblurubecallatoher.

011111'1' (cont1nued) (echovoice) LadySoliday.Ladyholiday. Wakeup,LadySoliday. Finally,lte:cmitcomasinto.tocu■,andIlia ■Piqgycan hardlybelievebareye ■•lier•i ■tbePrinceC.'t&:cminq ■ be'•bHnv&it1nq.tor•••bardreu,cometrue.Aabells

•I r1nqandviolin ■play,urocketsexplodeand■ tarduat

rapturou■lyinloveI

ltERIII'l' LadySoliday•••areyouokay?

URIII'l' No,no·,no,itva ■allmyfault.I IIU■ t've■ tar1:le4yoa. KISSPIGGY Ho,no,no. Ivu d.aydreaming. I shouldbe1110ncareful. ltERIII'r I abouldhaveknocked.

23. CONTilltJED:

I I■houldn•tbe■ oab ■ ant-lllinda4. l

Oh, aor:y.

Rehelp ■MiuPiggyout:ofherunla4yl1.kepredicament. They■ ta.reat■achotherforabr ■athle ■■mamm,t. MISSPIGGY So.:.hereweare,whoeveryouare. KERIIIT I'mKe.nait.I'vecamaalltheway tramAmericatointe:r:vi-youfor theDailyChronicle.

r- r

-

23. CDN'l'IlllJED. 23.

KERMIT

j __- llllen1

Atyourhoua•. Cb•at) I'U b•tit'abeautiful. MISSPIGGY I'm■ ure1tia.Imaan,it sure1 ■•An younut■ 1Of courHit 1 ■•I'11Ll.c!y&olic!ay. f'mIIOtCJOllll&11-1n.■Ollapi9

-· KERMIT I'm110ttoofamiliarwiththo ar••·You'llhavetotellme howto;atth•r•.

23. CON'l'Ill1JE1): 23.

KERl!J:T·-···· 0n-s1x-0n•-••v•nRighbrcwSt;-eet. I'llbetberewitbbell•on. MiH Pi'iffHcortaJtezmittotbedoor.

ZJ. CONTINUED: ZJ. MISSPIGGY (continued) · (aighi.n91baavanwar4)

Ij An41.nf099YLonclontown,tba■ un •l ia■b1.n1.n9•••avaryvbara. '

z,. INT. llECEPTIOlilAltEA-DAY Z4. Pozziaialeaningcaauallyagainata4ealt,tryi.ngto impreHamoclalwboi■thumbi.n9tbro119hama9azine, obvioualynotli■ taningtobi.al.

Th•110.S.l•till4oe■ n'tac:Jtnowla4gaPozzia. ICERMIT Gue ■■what·...I'm.havin9dinner withnon■otbarthanLa.SyHoliday, berHlf.

'OZZIE (excited) Yaab?llhan?

lWIIIIT Toni9ht.C'mon••• I'lltallyou aboutitonthewaybacktothe botal,

Theycroaatothe•lavator.Gonzofollows,4iatracta4 by eachbeaut.tfulmo.S.lha•-•.

CONTINtJED

r r

"~ i,. .' ~-:-·.r·

24. COIITilltJED1 24.

Gonzoi ■aohlaylookingatth•modala,ha4oa ■ n't realizetheelevatoriaalightlyopen,butthara•• noelevator.Bavalkaintotheopeningandplunge•

; downtheahaft. l I FOZZIE

IthiDJcwajuatloatGonzo. KERMIT· (notworried) You neverraallyloseGonzo. (callingdownopen ■haft) Gonzo•••areyouhurt?

TheylookdCllfntheelevatorabaftto■ -eGonzo■maahad atthebottcmlikeanaccordion.

.. GONZO Thatwa■fun. I'mgonnatryit agau•••fromthepikeposition.

Cl.ITTO:

2&. OutaidatheBolid■ yBuild.l.nq,auniformedDOORMAN atraiqhtenaGonzo'•noaawhileKa.emitandFozziatry tohailacab•

CONTINllEII

(

26. CO!IITIIIIIED, 26.

• • i found11t11attractive•

(yells) Taxil Anothercat,9oe ■lly.

POZZI!: Of course■hafau:ndyouattract!ve. Itrun ■1nthefamily. nRIIIT T&Sil

Ath1r4taxi9oe ■lly• 11:EllMIT Icont1nue4) Howcomathacab•c!on't■ top? GONZO I.eaYIIittome. Gonzohurl■liim■■ lfintotheat.raetan4sprawl■intothe pathofaapee4in9call.

Th•cabac.raachutaabalt,■ tappinginch■■fromGonzo'• nc ■ a.

DlUUT That' ■veryeffectiYII. GORZO Yaah. It' ■greatwhenitwork■• ThethreeMuppet■climl>intothecall.

,.

r

;•.·. _...... •···..~.

27. IIIT.CAll-DAY 27.

ThadriwrofwhichisBO,vlloLatooatupi4toknow thatacal>4r1verahoul4havesome••a••of41rection.

l'OZZIE BappineaaBot ■ l.

so (4elighte4l Ob.,11004.That'swhereI'm gOinll•How4oyougetthere? KEl!MIT t1avan'tyouave:b-nth■ r ■ ?

.

so Sure. Ilivethere.I just 4~'t knowhowtog■ tthere.

i ' KERMIT

Ithinkit'•straightahead.

,'

BO

"' light.

SomaJcesati-turnan4thacal>h■ a4s1nth■opposite 41z ■ ct1onuoth■ rcaraav■ rv■toavoi4them.

Ctl'1'TO:

29. IIIT.CAll-DAY 29.

30. ·m. CAll-DAY 30.

Bowhipsanotb.■ rtian4th■cch ■a4sbackthaoth■ r vay.Marecar■■ creechand■ quealandhonk.

A. ;,,'.'.~. ·.' I ../

l; ;

; Tak ■■aWhileto11ettoJcnc,wthe

tcwn.

KER!!rT Howcomeyoudon'thavean :En'iJlillhaccent?

I licanae. ,. (then)

Whereto?

Bemake ■another·uturn,tathedismayofthethree Muppetsanc!thec!riveraoftheothervehicles.

It'salmostc!arkaaBo'•cabapproach..thehotel. KUIUT(O.S.) It' ■ri11htuphereontheri11ht. BO(O.S.) Whatia?

r

32. CONTINUED:

80(o.s. l Souy. Icanonlytu: ■youaa faru t:11 ■lobby.

'l'h■cabmakesaaharpturn,c:ro••••th ■atr■■ tand cruh■ sri,ihtthro119hthefront4oorotth ■hot■ l.

G011zo/o.s. l

33. L'l'l'.HOTELLOBBY-- 1)0.1

'l'hed■briae ■ tt.l■-asth ■cabcom■ atoaatopandthe lwpp■ ts,i■tout.Popa,b■hilldth ■duk,bar■ lylooks up..llordo■•Jllllic:■wholi■ ainaloun,i■chairina bathin,isuit,rudin,i"Rollin,iStone•whil ■tannin,i und■rasunlamp.Nordo■sRovU,whositsatan old pi11D0,playin,ibar-typ■bacqroundmusic•.

A)

l 'l'h ■r■you,io.K■■pthechan,ie.

'l'hankyou.BowIIIUChdoIow■ yoa7

K■ rmitre-actsthenh■andFozzi ■andGonzoh ■ adtor theirroom.Rowlf,at.thepiano,ae911e ■into•Rainbow Connection•.

a0IILF (ain,iin,i) llhyar■t:b■r■soIIISDY•Cini•about rainbows,andwhat' ■ontheother•.•

RovU. R0liI,F (Stopa) Huh7

Wron,imavi ■•

CONTINl!ED

r r

..... ,.....•.:•·

33. CONTINUED: 33.

ROHt.J' (r■ aUzing) Oh. Yeah.Sorry.I ailllthink it ■houldbav■wonth ■O.car.

l i BO

Hay••• how do Iq■ toatofhere? ltEIUtI'l' I ■ uqq- ■ tyoumale•atiturn. BO Riqht.Cheerio.

R•gunath•anqin•andthecabqoeaat.raiqhtahead, throuqhthearchwayl•adinqtoth•dininqroom.

llOARSoftinth•41atanc■•TheSwe41ahChefappear■, skidmarkaonhiawhitauni!o,:m,holdinq.alarq ■pot witha·at■■ rinqwhealinit.

CHE!' OU• Youmanturatunfe,:min morqanhurt. POPS ·(toKermit) Look•likewa•r•having■ teet'in9 whHl souftl•fordinner.

Aqain? KERMI'1' Soundsd■ licioua•••butI'mqoinq outtodinner. ·

'OZZIE (toPopa) Yeah,Kermithe■adataWith LadyH•••

KERMI'l' (cutilnqhimoff) Shh!Don'ttallanybo<fy. Theracouldberivalreporter• justwaitinqtoqetascooponua.

CON'l'INUED

r

[:"'l I, 44 i

I

33. CONTINUED: 33.

'OZZIE 011,■ orry. ·(then,toPopa, ■Otto) Don'ttallanybocSyabouthl:lll1.t' ■ cSat■witllLacSyBolicSay.

PloycS,Dr.Teeth■lie!Zootappearf%0111.HCDnc!floor room.

Tellaawllat?

UAUll (l!or■-coc!eUlca) Maep-••111■t1pmeep -■p -·· .....-.. .....maep....-··..........

OtherMuppet.acomeoutoftheirrooma,includin9Sam, Scooter,therataandAnimal.

COIITIIIIIED

r.

33. CONTINUED: 33.

SAIi (admoni ■ hinq) Wehavea ■ t:rictcurfew.Ju■ t male ■eureyou'rehomebyTue ■ day. SCOOTER Don'tdoanythinqwewouldn'tdo. JIIOWLP (playinqand1inqinq) Gota datewithananqel. Gonname•therat■ evan. All joinin.

JIIOWLP

Gota datevithananqel. AndI'monmyway toheaven.

i I EERMIT

(asred..hecanturn)

·.~) Thia1■reallyambarruainq•·

'l'hanlc.ealot,Fozzie. 'OZZD: Bey,don'tworryaboutit. Itdoe■n't'iOout ■ ideofthi ■ room•

•I

Th•IIEIISMARpopsup.fr0111behindPop'sfrontda■ k,

I microphone1nhand.

LadyBoliday•Detail■ateleven.

34. Ill'?.HAPPINESSHOTEI..XEJlHIT'SROOM-NIGHT 34. Xermit1 ■qettinqreadyforhi ■date.Biafacei■ latheredandhe1■■ havinq.Fozziewatch••himlonq- 1ft'ilYinthemirror.Gonzo1 ■onthewindowledqe takinqpicture■foraatoryonvertiqo.

-

r

....:.,. ...... •

"

I

3c. COllTIIIDED: lC.

,,

rozzn:

' That'•justforyouancS- to

know,bxothar.We're90,mahave us ■ omefuntoAight.

i alone.Ha ancSLac!yllolic!ay•

That' ■it.Not!!!.·~-

;::;:

DRIII'r Ian'titauiarto talktoone reporterthan1tistoewo7 POZZIE Yeah.;.?guua■o. XDMIT Shedoe■ n•tevenknOlfyou. POZZIE To know- 1•tolove-· JCE!lMIT That'strue... butthi ■1•■ Clllathing I'vegottahandlealone.

CONTIIICEll

r-

A :.,.:..... ~.-.::-•.. ,/

i

34. CONTIIIUED, 34. 'IJZZIE (hurt) Hoproblem.

-4 - KERMIT H ■yGimm■'/lt'fcufflinlta Andh ■ndm■'/lt'fU ■ Jaatdr■nchmeinrichcologne

'I,. Anddon'taakm■vhy

Goonandpluckm■aboutoni ■r ■

; I'mmovin'upandvalkin'anair

Steppin'outvithastar

Andf ■■ lin'high

j

Comepolish'/lt'fwingtips

R ., (toGonzo)

Andcallforth ■car

A ■attncollar■ndv■ lv■ tv■ at Ineversettl•forsecondba ■ t Stepp.in•outwithastar Sad·tim■ abyeby ■ (AddUkelele) R■yeI gotatyl■ Hav■Igotta ■ t■ On someone•l••Iwear Thi ■■ avoirfair■

- Would"b•■ uchaW ■■ te

-2 - COIHtossme'/lt'ftophat I'mreadyto·fly Bu■ Un'intoth ■uppercru ■ t As ■ aaya■pi ■ (He ■imageofMis ■Piggyinmirror)

CONTimJED

r-

~

34. COHTIIIIIEI):

KEIIMI'r Ju■ twatch11tfdn-cametrue 'ftuai■■omethin9Ivuborntodo Stappin'outwitha■ tar Tllat■ tar1■you

1111ISTI.Z - 15- STOPTIME - 8- OIICB -8 - FOZZIE

i Raveyou9otcl••• r j KERMIT i HaveI90tclua

FOZZIE

I Haveyou90tcllic:

J;:J KEmlI'l'

BavaI9otchic

KERMrr - 2- I'mrea4ytoUy

- 2- A■aa ■y••pie

'ftu■1■•e111t1thi119Ivubornto4o FOZZIE,nRIIIT,GORZO Stepp1.n'outwitha■ tar

FOZZIE,KEBIII'f,GONZO Steppin'outwitha■ tar

CONTmtlED

r

·"")·· ,..

..'

l4. CONTINUED: l4. KEMIT

I

FOZZIE,KEll!II'l',.GONZO St:appin'outvit:11••tar

Ul!MIT AncSfeelin'high

ICEJIIUT&FOZZIE Andfeelin'highyeabl

'l'beaangenc!awit:bKeJ:Dlit:lookingint:11•mirror, checkinghi.U•lfout.Pozzi•••faceiainchHaway, alsolookinginthemirror.

ltEIIMIT I'mt.heoneontheleft. Fozzieahalceabiaheadinc!isbelief.

Gonzo,onthewinc!ovledge,tryingt:oget:anintar-■ t: ing■ hotofpigeon ■ontheroof,loa..bi ■balance andfalls.

CON'l'DWEI>

r

•i '! ·,i ;

3••

' lfallln9)

Say ch............,

l'OIZIII: lternlllydapraaaad) I -14 ratherII•withyou. 11:az:mitlooltaatthia.,.tr,atllaticfiguraandhiahaart -1ta.

11:ERHIT Okay••• youcan90.

l'OUIE lllri9btanal 11•-anit7

ICll:RMIT Yeah. autlat• dothetallci119. l'OZZIE My llpauaaaaladl

UllllIT It'•gottoIlavazylowkay.

Ok&y.I'mcowit1119onyou. l'OZZIE Don'tworry,Jtamit..W•won• t latyou·down.

TonaofHuppatatulllbla,ChNrt119,intotlla"°""'· On Kanait.'•lo~kof·I•v•bNDh&d•,va,

Cll'rTO:

r r

,;'

Tbiai ■averynicetwo- ■ torayhou■■inafHhionable ■■c:tionofLondon,prob.d>lyw.1.Mi ■■Piggy,gowned andcoiffed,■tand■out■ ideth ■door,wonderinghaw ■ he' ■goingtopullitoff.Shep-k•t■ntativ■ ly

t. throughacurtainedwindow.

36. D.'T. DININGR00H-NIGHT 36.

A stuffy,properEnglishcouple,oneofwhomlooks likeJohnCleeae,dines■ il ■ntlyinaformaldining roomu pig' ■•Y••andatraceofsnoutpre••against thawindowforabriefmoment,thendisappear.

•

Hine?

Pine. Shepours. • OOBCAS (offering) Duck?

I originalpo ■ ition.

r r

36• ·COIITnltlED,

---

Notforma.

·--

CIJ'r'1'0:

37. CXT. BOOSE-NIGHT

MiasPiggyisindeedworkingharwayapth•drainpipa, pun• overhershoulder,9lua■ lipper■onherfeet, evaninggownblowinginthabraaza.As•h•climbs, ■ heal.moat•lips,butragainaharbalanca. MISSPIGGY (breathlHa;tocamera) Framnawan,iftheywantstunta, tbaygetadoubla.

I

Sb•continue ■toclimb.

J.:> ClJ'rTO:

38. nrr. BOOSE-NIGHT

DORCAS

I (offering)

(shake■==hi ■haad•no•) Pin.ached.

Hepush••plateaway.There1 ■silence,■ aveforthe continuadct.AllXDIGNOISEuPiqgyclimbs.

Gravill•isdozingoffintohisfood,racovaringjuat baforehishaadhit•hisplate.

Whatevardoyoumaan?

"-

r r

•..

38. CONTilltlED:

ItI warebored,Iwouldn'tbe· anjoyinqmy■altanda ■anyonecan plaiDly••••I'mhavinqthetimeot mylite.I thinkyouwouldhaveto looktartotindaparsonwhois :avinqmoretunthanthi ■chap.

CUT'l'O:

Mis ■Piqgyiaatthetopnc,o,,hanqinqonthe■ ave. AaGrevill•'•voicecontinues,Piggyswingsbackand forth,9ain1n9mcunantwri,inanattempttocatapult heraeltthroughanopenWindow.

I believethat-•~ yearsaqo, notthr-.

r r

j.~· •...•.. .~--~.·.. ': 54

t;;

39. COIITJ:IIUEI),

t t:woyeanago.

,: GU:Vn.LE(O.S.)

Iva■ n•tboredtwoyear■ago.

I

111■■Piggylet■goan4fli••1:hro11gh1:11•openvin4ov.

40. nrr. DINING-ROOM-NIGHT

Thecc:nzplehearsaI.DUDCIIASBfrom11psta1n.

41. IJIIT.HIGHBROWBOtlSECOIIPOSITE-RIGHT

All.Gr ■vill•an4·Dorc■ ac,:,nUn11&totalk4ownatair■,. MiH Pi9'9Yistryin'1toWltan'11•hen ■ lffromalamp cor4.Pinallyshedauan4male ■■herwayto1:11■h■ a4 of1:11•stain.BEGINIlfTEBClJTSbetweenGr■n.11•an4 Dorca■inthe41ninvrooman4Mi■ aPi9'9YmaJcingher vaydcwnth■atairaintothelivingroc,m,where■ ha hi4e■behin41:hetir■plac■,withinsightof1:hefront door.

COHTilltll!:D

r r

_,,,/.

41. C011'1'Il1UED: u. DORCAS Iimaqineyouwould,that:beinq thepremise.

'oumean,ifIwareboredand neededt:obuy■ omethinq?

',.

aecauaewe'vee ■ tabU ■ hedIwouldn't

j' buy■ cmethin9unle ■■Iwerebored. I DORCAS

Ye■• What:wouldyoubuyifyou

,::·· werebored?

GREVII.U: Pe:cllapaaneclctie•.

'I

That'•notnecessary,Dorca ■•

There'•noneedforyoutoleavathe house.

I wouldn'tm1nd.I'vebeenabit restlesslately.Baven•tbeen out:aidetortwelveyear■• GREVII.I.E Well,•theweather' ■bHAna ■ t-J. DORCAS Stillinall•••t:h■ n' ■nonoonfor - t:o■ t:ayhereallthetime. Thecbildrenareqone,thepeu

• aredead~thebutler' ■beendis-

charged.Nooneevervi ■ itswa.

t

·-

r

41. C011TIN1JED:

TIieDOORBEI.I.RIIIGS.Grevillepull ■•poclcatwatch oatofhi■pocket,cllacksit,puzzled.

lleitharamI. (beat) That:!!!!.thadoorbell?

Gl!EVll.L!: Andthebutler'sdead?

GREVILLE: ShallIanawer1t,then? DOICAS Well.I don'tknow,actually. Pe:mapaIahou:Ldana-rit.

TheDOORBELLRIIIGS&!Jain.MiuPionyaquirmanervoualy. GREVILI.Z They'renotg,,iqaway.

CONTnlUED

[ ,-..·

r ("

~

,.✓- 57

41. CO!ITIROED:

l GIIEVIt.LE

Oh ••••that'aquitekindofyou. MissP1!1'1Ycrone•toth•door.

""' GIIEVILLE.

(continuedtoDorcaa1 puzzled) Didn'tyouHYthepet■ haddied?

42. llIG!IBROWSTREET-NIGHT 42. Mi■ sPi!lgyopen■thedoor.Kermitstandsthere,hold- 1n!Iacorsage.Behindhim,pukedatthecw:b,i ■ Boinhi ■tu:1.

MrSSPIGGY lthy,thankyou. (lookin!Ibehl.ndher) Well,let'•getgain~. CO!ITillOED

r r

42. COIITINOED: 42.

Kezmittrie■topeekintothehouae.

J:EllKIT I'venever••anareallive ritzyEnglillhho....before.

KISSPIGGlC Okay•••lat' ■take•f-minute ■•· Sheyank■himthroughthedoor,thenclo■-■itbehind him.

Sha pull ■him·';··withheroutof■ightoftheEnglish couple,Whocranetheirneck ■tryingto■ ffwhat'• goingon1ntheirhouaa.

Iaaythere•••==

CONTIHIJED

[

r

43. COIITIIIUEII: 43.

Ulll!IT (lookin9aro,mc!) Oh,nice.Die!youbaythi• furnitur•hen1nLondon•••

Mia•Pi99Ypull•ltezmit,1nmic!-••ntence,intoanother doorjuatu Grevill•rounc!ath•comer.

l •lien. I ;•

SIievbi ■ k ■Xezmitthroughdoor■anc!c!ownhallway ■, one■ tapalleac!ofGreville.

Atonepoint,■hepull■Jtezmitinto•clo ■ atanc!clo••• thec!oor.

MISSPIGGr (contin-•fromthec!ark) Anc!thi ■1•thecloaet. ltEJIIIIT Nice.Dark,but.nJ.ce.

Greville.opensth•c!oor,1J.9htpour ■1nonPig9Yanc! Jtezmit.

Oh, ■ orry.tJh•••hopeI'mnot beingrude,but1•there anyth1D9Icanc!oforyou1 MISSPIGGY Oh,lf.._•••weneedthenameofa Diceplacetohavac!inner.

Well,there' ■theDubonnetClub. Actually,,it'•not■ omucha4innar placeu it1• a••

&O

'. I

43. CONTDIIIED: 43.

t SbeonceagainpuU.Z.J:lllitbehindberudex1taoattile

frontdoorWbileatotallyperplexedGre,rUle■ till ■ tare■intotileclo■ et.111 ■■Piggyre-open■thedoor. MISSPIGGY (toCrevill•I IfIcanju■ t■ ayonetbing•••you'r• •veryniceman•••butprobably1:he ....tboringpenonintbeworld. SIieSI.AMSthedoorbehindher••DorcuENTEIISthe hallway.

CltEVIU.E YourecalltbepigImentioned? DORCAS Tbaonethatwuclimbingthe drainpipe?·

r

•'.•!·-,,;.••:"···•.

43. CONTINUED: 43.

CtlTTO:

11:e:cmitandMissPiggy9etcomfortableinthebackseat ofthet:aX1asBo■ tartlltheengine. BO Whereto,folk•?

MISSPIGG~ I think.you901t.rai9ht. BO Right.

Bo'•t:aX1vhipaao-turnthenhead■intheother dinction.

46. nrr. CAB-NIGHT 46.

11:eraitandMi- ■Pi99Y••emtobehavingalovelytime, amilin9ateachother,notliatenin9toBo,aahe 9ivu amia9Qide4tour.Bo■peaks. - BO .. • •••Andoverthereonyourleftis •ome!amouaplace.Eitherthe EmpinStat■BuildingortheEU:!el Tower.

r r

·-'•.

• • 6Z FIRST

REVISION

r

(Doleted) u .

• .;

o . EAT. ANOTHERLo•·ooNSTREET -NICHT o.

AstheHapplneaaHotelbu•chugsintothepicture,

I hl11ln9andcoughing.It•aaconverteddouble•decker r I - busthat•abeenoutrageouslypaintedandhaaseen betterday ■•Ooctor·reeth1•atthewheel,tryingto

peerthroughfilthybug-encrustedwindows.Stea ■pours

'

Mupp~tsoverflowthedecks,lncludln9ConzoandFozzle. So■ eMuppet•leanout.thewindows,otherspresstheir no•••againstthe9l1astryingto9etaglimpseof Ker ■ ltandLadyHoliday. (Dialoguefro ■scene4~togointoabove)

• ROWLF

Hey,everybody•••theretheyare, 1Cer ■ ltandhisnewheart-throb. ZOOT Hubba-hubba

• DR.TEETH / DingDlng. I ,-... lootblowsa•wolfwhistle•onhiasax. r SCOOTER

Kermit'sgota·girifriend. Kermit'sgotagirlfriend.

r

Kermitlooksemb1rr11sed. MUSIC:DOWNBEAT

' '\,

SONC: "NICHTLIFE"

,

TheElectricMayhe•plays•NICHTLIFE•onthetapof thebusas theproceasion:cantinueSthroughtheavenues of Landon •••alongp1rk1idestreetsandaroundthe •oircusea•theygo.

r

- -- Ci ■ae■ ygoadftianda 'Hplayae■ ymusic Yeah,

• ~1 ■■ e· ■ yn1ghtl1fe-

-l -

•

A'; .. .' .........

-·.

t 6Z• FIRST

REVISIOII

'18.CONTINUED '18.

Tilt••th1tCult1r 'Nroll••th1tboogie Her, Cl ■■ e■ 1nightlife• •1 •

We'lldance1nthe•oanllght We'llrockuntildawn• If JOUc1nnotdlgltb1b1

I I' ■■ ovlnon

• z • Sing■ ethegoodtlaes r 'C1u1eIneedthefeelln' '- Yeah,

I,.

• z •

•lZ• INST. We.'11dance1nthemoonlls'ht We'llroctuntildawn If1ou.c1nnotdlgltb1b1 I' ■■ ovlnon • z • Sing••th•goodtimes 'CauseIneedthefeelln' Yeah, Cl ■■ e•1.nightlife

u. _,_

The■ualcend•••HapplneaaHotelbus1rrlve1atthe entranceoftheDubbonetClubwhere1tbreaksdown, 1tar1dl1torexploding,Itsfenderafallingoffand ltat1re1goingflit.

&3

50. Ill'l'.DCBON!IETCLUB-NIGHT 50.

It' ■•beautifulpo■ h,artc!eco,F.Scott!'itz9eralc!1sh ni9hl:club,c!■ cor■ tec!entirelyinb:.ackanc!whit ■,with •c!ancefloorinthecenteranc!■bane!c!re■■ ec!in

I vllitetail■playin9GlennMillertypemu■ ic.Ele9antly l c!re ■■ ec!I.onc!onerapopulatetheplac ■,...,.forfour

■ tran9elookift9bein9■atonetable•••lteZlllit,!'ozzie, Mi ■■Pi99Yanc!Gonzo.Gonzotake ■•pictur■ofthe waiter,whileKermitanc!FozZielookuounc!inawe anc!Mi■-Pi99Yloolcaatthemenu•

Boy,•classyplac ■lilc•thi■,

onthatabla.

MISSPIGGr (lookin9atmenu) OoooolI.ookatthi ■wonc!erful menu.

r

50. CONTIIICED: 50.

ltEIIMIT (contJ.nuedthan,to rozaiaandGonzol Youguy ■gotabout■ ixteen _____.______ hlllldreddollar■onyau?

rou:cz I havea4imaiD-.,loafer. Bat- toldma·tokeepit fora phonecall.-

IICSBAND11114WIFB■ itatatable,ba"111g-acocktail.

}_: S1144enly,aflaabbulb~•offi.nthei.rfacu.

PCU.BACKtor■vealGonzo,Whobujusttakena pictureoftha,a.

I addr■Handtanbuc:lca. -I ·1' RCSllAIID

Ob. JoUygood.

I ' Baband■Gonzoth■moneyandabuai.neHcardandGonzo

mDV9 ■ontotb•nexttable,whereanotherCOtJPLEaiU, wbi.aperi.ng-r0111at.1cally.

GEN'rLEMAII (aaddenlynervau) •••lfo,nopi.cttlr■•Thanks.

r r

l I

l~_-· :.··..,... .....•·.f

r: •

..

..'j j .t GEIITI.EMAII

Idon'twanta...nm. Get

'i -ay. Mywifeisn'tfeelin9 ': well. 'l'1 I GOHZO"

That'•toobad.Maybe•h• aboulc!beatbcne.

r, i GENTI.EIIAII

(t,:yin9to9ettb• maaaageacrOSa) Sbea atboma.

I.allyBollc!ayc!reaaec!-smartlyinablackevanin9..drHa an4c!azzlin94iamon4nec:klaceEIITERSaccampaniec!l>yher naph-.NICXY,·avreatlookin98x109l0Hyofa9UY weann9ablac:ktuxec!oanc!sillylookin9rec!anc!white ■ tripac!■ oc:ka.Thayarevreetac!byaMaitre•D.

Thankyou,Stanley.

r r

.._;~ ..·-~.•...

'i

52. CONTINUED: 52.

No •••becauaeit'•Cllat01111l%Y.

-· NICXY

(reachin9intohi•poclcet) I"don'tha...,anyche9eoame.

COTTO,

Thaorcheatraplay■tutatuldancemusicuKermi.t ed Nia ■Pi99Ydancaam,n9otherdancin9ccupla•on thadancatloor,

~ -~·-) / 67 • ;'

"

53. CONTINllEtl• 53.

USSPIGGY D14anyoneevezytellyou,you havelovelyeye ■ ?

Ke:i:mit■qui ■h- ■uphi ■mouth.He'•gett1n9nowhere. They·d■nceputtheta!llewhereFos:ICie1 ■·pourin9 ■■much■u9 ■rupo■ -11:,leintobi ■cbaapa911■• ICERUT I ' 11■ eyonethin9••••you■ ure knowhowtotripthelight tanta ■ tic,I.ac!yHolic!ay. MISSPIGGY It talc-■blototan9O,Ken,y. Gin9ervu notbin9withoutFree!.

i (realizil19l --·--.. Oh,excua•11101.Ididn'trealin A_. I wa ■taltin9char9ehere.Woulc!

youc■reto••• ICERUT No,no. I don'tmind.It' ■

'I quiteplea■ ant,actually.I

tnl lilt•:I'•c!ancin9onair.

KERMIT'SFl!:E'r WhicharectrtbeUoor,u Mi ■■Pi99Y1'Wirl■him arcane!tbec!ancefloorputFozzie' ■tabla. FOZZIE (c!rinkin9ch._9neanc! ■-■ ekinghi■lip■) Ahbl Youknowityouputenough ■ u9arintbi ■■ tuttitt■■ te■ ju■ t U.lcagingerale. arr-ro,

54. IN'1'.AHO'rll!!RPAR'rOF'1'11!!DOBONIIE"l"CI.OB.I.ADYHOLIDAY'S TABI.B-HIGH'r S 4 • TheIIOSICCON'?IIIOESuNickyaak-■■ urehisaunti ■ •••tac!anc!thansit■nexttoher.·TheIIAITIIE'D ■ t■nc! ■be ■ ic!etbetable,weit1n9toratip. CON'?INUED

r r

..,.·~.

u

54. CCNTDIIIED• 54.

RJ:CKY ItoNaitre'DI Thanks•lot.I'11catchyoa &11otherU-. Naitre'DglazesandEXITS•.

Be lockll&thi•w&tcb,·than1:ol(ardtbenardoor. RICKY (contin,.d) I • 11uktbsmaitra•dtotakecare ofit.

Rickynods,riae ■■ndw&lkll-•.rdtb•frontofth• club,looksb&clctomakesurehisauntian• twatching, tbentake ■•qaiclcleft,croa..stotbereardoor, open■it,tapesthelockshut,lf■ terg■ tefuhion, ~ookll&round&DdhHdabacktotbetable.

Cll'1'TO:

r

n

55. AI.I.ErBEIIIKDDOBOKIIB'l'CI.UB-KIGHT55. A·•l•akconvartilll•■ port ■carwiththree•leakhmal■ modal•dn ■ aedentirelyinblack,purr■■ lowlyeround th•cornertowardth•r■ ar1111tranceotth•cluband1top1 in analleyway.Withouta■ oun4,C&rla,Marlaan4 DarlacU.moutot tbac■ randapproaclla4oormarkad "DubonnetClub,RearEntrance•.Oneotthetlrla c■rrie ■•.,..11velvet-linedb&f.

c:trr'l'O,

'l'heDubonnetOrchestra,underthedirectionot A:cmando41FioreH'iUHintoanother■onf.Ki■-PifiY andKermitare4ancinfcheelctoclleakandth•mood 1averyrClllantic. SOKG: "'l'IIEFIRS'l'TIMEITHAPPENS•

MISSPIGG!' 'l'h•tirattimeyouH ■him Robolttromtheblue Ju■ t■ anethint■oquiet That••waiting'toryou Withnoonetotellyou Where.you've'iOt-toto-·· Thetinttimeithappens youlcnow KERMIT Thetinttimeyou•- her Kolll&'iicalcheft'ie Ko&ft'i•ll·appear1'1t Rodream■toarrant• Ju■ tWUJNrandcolclar 'l'hllD■prift'ltimeor■now 'l'h•tir■ ttimeithappens youknow BOrll And 10 youtall An4how completeit1a An4 toreacll_.,.tthatitlut:a How ■w-titii (chorushuma1'1backtroundl 'l'hetir■ ttimetO'i■tber Row •1.mple,howrare COIITnruED

r- \

70 FIRST REVISION

54. CONTINUEO 54,

(_ Threegirl~,cl•dentirelylnblack,quietlyenterthe clubanddlaappearfro ■alght.

58, INT. DUBONNETCLUB,DANCEFLOOR-NICHT 58,

,......,L-.•.. NISSPICCY'

I couldJustkeepondancing forever.

"· - ..- AsMiasPiggytwirlsby,whitetuxedo'd■ rtechorus dancersenteraslfby••gicandbeglnsinging. HALEDANCERS Theflr ■ ttimeyouseeher No■ agicalch•nge Noangelsappearing Hodr••••toarrange

CONTIHUEO

r r

• • 71 FIRST

REVISION

s,. CONTINUED 5'.

"ALEDANCERS

• (Continued)

(INTANCOTI"E) luat•ar ■ erandcolder

• Thenapr1ngt1 ■ eor■ now • --·----·--·-----• Thefirstti ■ eithappens

Youknow

• • FULL DANCECONTINUES

-10-

" ,o• INT.DU30NNETCLUB.LADYHOLIDAY'STABLE-NICHT,o. •

l_ Whilethe"YSICPLAYS,andNiaaPiggyatrutaherstuff, Nicleynervouslylooksbehindhl ■••the■ odelafanout andlurk1ndifferentpartsoftheroo ■•LadyHoliday takesnonoticebecauseahe'•watchingthedancefloor.

• LADY"HOLIDAY • Nicky?!

Nickyal ■ oatju ■ psoutofhistux•

• NICKY

Huh?!...What?!What1sit?

► LADYHOLIDAY

(pointstodancefloor)

,. I thlnlcthat's■ ynewsecretary

outtheredancing. NICKY ( Oh,yeah?Whichone?

~ LADYHOLIDAY

Forty•flveword ■a■ iaute.About

•verage. ,- SWEEPINC

-8 -

f

r- r

7Z FIRST REVISION

,o. CONTINUED ,o.

Nickycan•trealatthelureatHla1Piggy.Aathe■ ualc changeste ■ pa,1ndNlaaPiggylawhirledfro ■p•rtner

likejelly.

I

Ker ■ lt,offtooneaide,laequallyenthralled1nd

I begin•to11ng."1••Piggy,dancingherlittleheart

out,stillh••tl ■ etolooklnKer ■ lt'adirection&nd

' •n•••r•hi•Insong.

Meanwhile,Nicky,haaao ■ ehowJoinedtheendofthe ahorualine,1ndwhenHlaaPiggyco•••hls••Y,he d1nces•1thher,••ltzlng•roundthefloor,looking Intoher•Y•••.Atonepoint,HlaaPlggy•afeetare off thegroundasNickywhirlsheraroundthef~oor. Anotherti ■ einaCLOSESHOT,Nicky'•redandwhite ( stripedstockingfeetareofftheground••MissPiggy presu ■ ablywhirlshi ■aroundthefloor. CHORUS ("1••Piggy■ eetaNicky) AndJustwhenyouthought You'dforgotho•tocare

- '- ("1uPiggypuil'•updreu) (TAPE DANCE)

- "- (FEETorHISSPICCY) • lZ• (DANCE)

C Duringwhich••cuttOFazzle•1thlobsterwhileKermit watches.

CONTINUEO

·":"'.;·-,·......

7Z• FIRST REYISIOH

LadyHoliday••tche1hernephewqulzzloally,a ■Carla, KarlaandDarlapo11t1onthe~••l·ve ■behindher,ahoot eachotherworriedglances,■ lnceNicky••falling1n love11nota partoftheplan. Finally,Hl••Piggy11whiskeda•aybyanother■ an,and Nickyh••d•b•ckforthet•ble••the■ ualcagain ohange1te ■ poandbuild ■toaflnlsh,poaalbly■ 1th ao ■ ehlgh-klcklng■ 11theRockett••·Theentire nightclubaudience,includingker ■ itandFozzie,•••Y• backandforthtothebeat. Nickyslt•backdown,Ju1ta1thenumberends,and glveaMarlaasignal.Marlathro••alights•itch, plungingthenightclubintototaldarkness.Confu1ion relgn1,theband1topsplayingandpatronsgrumble. (

(

r

R;,.·. ·.:._,...··:_":

61. CONTDIIIED:

Sul!denly,a■ er■-pierce ■theair.

LADYBOI.IDIIY(0 .S.)

···--111atc11••;··nuhl19IIU,tla■ hl>u:U, ■ancSother■ ourc:uof illwainationpoplike■ trobeligllUancStheaacSiencec:an al.moat■- ■arobberyUkin9place,ullic:11:yc!eftlyun- ■ nap ■I.ac!yBolic!ay'■n■ c:klac:eancSc!rop■1tintothe velvetba9helcSbyCarla.Theothertwomoc!el-thieve■ effectivelyclearan■■ c:apepathancSallthreegirl ■ n.. inth•cSarkn- ■■-■theelec:tricalpower1 ■finally r■■ torecS..llic:11:yremain ■■ -atecSutllellaitre'D hurria■overtoth•Ul>le.

Of·cour■ eIacrau.d.Someone

;;..;.·. ■ tolemynecklacel

(toNicky) Itole!you•thi ■wowcShappen. Thatnecklacewu-rthafortune. NICICY Batotherthanthat,hawcSicSyoa enjoyl,'0ID:.,,.nin97 OnLacSyBolic!ay' ■ruc:tionofcS1 ■ 91111twe

Kermit,co~u■ ecS,look ■attherealLacSyBolicSayua patronPUH ■by.

r

12. CONTI?IOED: 62. RethenlookaaroundforMia ■Piggy,butah•'•110 ... longerthere.Recatchesaglimp ■ eofheru■he nn■ outth•frontdooroftheclub,then90••toth• ■ potwllere■lievu■ tandi11gandpiclc ■upaglae ■■ lipper ■hebu leftbehilld.Belook■atJ.t,d1'111bfoun4e4,•• theclock■ trikut:velve.It' ■1111411ight,and"Porkarella" baavani■hed.

A cloclcOIiabuildingcontinue ■to■ trike••Mia ■ Piggy,intheglovofa■ treatlamp,wearingoneglu ■ ■ lipper,clomp■4ovllthecobbl-■ tonaeand41aappear■ 111tothefog. ·

64. Ill'l'.HOTELBATIIJIOOJI-RIGHT 64. I11thia■mallbathroom,inthecri.m■ onglovofalight bulbcoveredvithcadceUoph&11e,Gonzodevelop■ picture■ina■ illkfullofdavalopillg■ OlUtiOII,vhil• JtermitandFozZi•watch.Severalpicture■of■ urpri ■ ed caupl•111awkwardpo ■-■alreadyarepi1111ed011a•k•- shiftdryinglina. FOZZIE (lookingaton•ofth•

Thiaon•••9raat,Ganzo.You poppedthefla■IIju■ tbeforeth• souplandedOIihi ■tie. GONZO Yeah,veil,photography' ■an

film,youhavetohavetheright axpoaura,andyouhaveto■ craam ju ■ t..theygetthefoodupto theirmouth. Therei■aPOUNDINGOIithedoor. SAN(O.S.) What' ■goingOIiinthere? Alotoffolk■outherevant toua•t.h•reatrooa.

r

':.:

64. CONTINUED: 64.

KERMIT

I We'llbeoutu ■ oan-we 1· 4ewlopthe■■picturu.We•re I tzyi~tocatcha,-■ 1thia!.

I POP(O.S .) I Well,catchhiminanotherroom.

Peoplearec!ancin9upanddown ononele9outhere. Grumblin9canbeheard!romotherMuppeta. KERMIT (toGonao) Burryup,Gonzo.There'•90tta beapictureo!somebody1:&kin9

i "LadyBoUcl&y'.naclclac■• ,

p QONZO

Whynot?SheUe4.

1·GONZO I betchaIcan4oit.

r

r (

.. ·.~·~.~. ,•

64. CONTINOED:

Gonzoturn■backtohi■work.There1 ■moreLOUD Potllll)INGonthedoor.

' ROWI.FtO.S.) i Openupinthere! A) BO (O.S.) • Giveu■abreak!

Aatheclamorfzomout ■ idecontinue ■,Xealit,Fozzie andGonzo■ tareatthenegatJ.ve.

FOZZIE: Wow! KERMIT No doubtaboutit.It' ■that guy■ ittinqnexttoLadyHoliday and tho■ egirl ■standing•roundin theback. COlffINUED

r- r

CONTINUED: 64.

IU:!UIIT Andwe'vegot•..withtheirhands inthecookiejar. Ju.atthen,thed·oorburstsopen,havingbeenbashed 1n bytheirateM12ppets,ledbyAnimal.Lightfloods theroom,andtheexposednegativeianowu••l•••· i FOZZIE Th•cookiejarj12&tb12ated.

DISSOLVE:TO:

Theflowersare·inbloom,thesky1 ■bl12e,theday1 ■ bea12tifl2l•••b12tforKermit,itmightaswellbeHell. Ha ■ 1tsmo12mfl2llyonaparkbench,holdingtheglu ■ ■ lipper,thinkingabol2tMi- ■Piggy.AIIIAII■ uoll ■by withhi ■da12ghter.

KetinJ,tsmile ■half-heartedlyandthelittlegirlandher latherEXITdownthenear-bypath.Atthesametime, • DISHEVELLEDGENTLEMAIIpa ■■ ing1ntheotherdirection notacesthemelancholyfrogandatop■•

DISHEVELLEDGENT, Pennyforyourthoughts. KERMIT It'salongstory.

r

' 78 '!

I'

65. CONTINUED: 65.

i KERMIT (nods) ' Aaolda ■thehill ■• • DISHEVELLEDGENT

I'vebeenthere,myfriend.Been thereandbeckagain. · (aita,pointato gla ■■slipper) Icantellexactlywhathappened bythewayyou'resittin'there holdin'thatshoe.Youandyour brother-in-lawcashedinyourstock certificatesandyourinsurance policiestoopenthatlittledry _cleaning••tablishment.The locationseemedperfect,didn'tit7 Foottratticandhighwaytrafficall daylong..Noothercleanerinthe

aqw.pmentaoyouwentintohock. Buaine- ■tallottu■ynthatics

brother-in-lawdo•n•tbothertoshaw upallthetimeandyour■ i ■ ter■ tart■ accusingyouottryingtorunthe bu.sines ■ •Anothercleaneropen ■ downthe■ treatandhe'acharging leasandgettingthejobdonetaster becauseha' ■gotmorehelp.Your

/ aregettingolderandtheynevar••• I youandareturningintojuvenile

delinquent.aandyourwife■ ay■you

busin•••thanyoudoaboutherand yourequipmentbreaksclownandyour sistermovesinwithyou:b■ caua ■your rottenbrother-in-lawjoin ■th■circua andyou'vehadituptohereandyou can'tstanditanymore11So,you■ ell thebu ■ in ■Htoraaongtothe■ lobdawn the~tr••twho' ■b-■ntryingtoburyyou toryear■andyou■ inkwhatlittlemoney, youhaveleftintoth•glua■ Upper business,right?

You·knov.•••it' ■amazing.Youar•

thingyousaidwuright.

' l I J i ; ,,,z:;r,·:.'..,··~:...-..·:,.,.-··,,.

7'

65. CONTINUED:

DISHEVELLEDGElilT Okay..thenhowaboutthi•?You werevalJcinga.longth•beachone Tuesdaymorningwhenyousawthe shattendhulkofaWorldWarTwo tankerbobbingupanddownnearthe jetty••••••••

DishevelledGentlemanrises,ahake ■hisheadandmove ■ along.

DISHEVl!:I.LEDGENT (mutteringa ■hegoe•> MovieStars. Xei:mitwatch••hi.mindi•belief.

JustastwOpighand■coverhi ■eye ■andMis ■Pigqy•s melodiou ■voice1 ■heard.

KERHI'? Idon'tJcnaw.i'lhatareyou callingyourselftoday?

ltisaPi9gyuncover•Kermit'•eyH.Shestand&behind hi.m,lookin9abitcontrite.

Youliedtoma.Yau usedma.

..·~·~·.:.-..'..

66. CONTINUED• 66.

KISSPIGGY

I Youdidn'twant;~odance,remember?

/

•

"· 66. MISS PIGGY MaybaIvi.l. MaybaI'llwall<.

'I I'maorry.I'monlyhuman.

;:;, KERMIT

Okay•••liaten••• MisaPiggycontinue•tosob.

KERMIT

I (continuad)

Av,atopit...

-I

:._...:·1,...... .-. .·..

66. CONTINUED: 66.

,

r

66. CONTINUED: 66.

You andma,

Thi ■i ■ab•autifulromanticduetwh•r•Mia ■Piggyand 11:..:mitHr•nad•Hehoth•rWhil•ridingbicyclHthrough tbapark.Ina MOIITAGEofSHOTSasth•■OngcoatinuH. K•rmitdo•■ omashowingoffalaButchca■■ idyriding one-handed,no-handed,on·on•foot,etc.,ontwo-wh..lars, thr••~h..l•n,hicycl•-huilt-for-two,•tc•

Prettyday K!:l!MIT Sunny■ ky

Dancainyoureyu

.. '

...

67. CONTDIIJED; 67.

MISSPIGGYANDKE:RMIT Forallinute t·l••veIJOta,chance

--~---·

•I Couldn'tweride Couldn'twefly

• GONZO CHORUS Couldn'tweride IJcnowwe'dgetby CHORUSHOMMI!IG FLOYDIJANICE KE:RMIT Sunny■lcy Sunnyslcy Prettyday MISS PIGGY Prettyday CHORUSHOMS ROWLF URMIT Just•push Justapu■ h Andwe'reonth•way MGGY Andwe'reantheway SCOOTER Ye ■couldn'tweride CHORUS Yescouldn'tweride MISS PIGGY IKERMIT PIGGY IKEl!MIT Sideby■ ide Sidebyside ALL ALLMOPPETS Couldn'tweride Couldn'tweride

,-

8S

67. MUSICOOT:

-, 68.

It••abu■ yplace.Model ■inca ■ ual■ unwearprepare togaon•tage••c!raa ■enrunaround,andma.Jee-up people11114hair■ tyliat■tendtola■ t-minuteco ■metic cllore■•LacfyHolidayenter■fromon■ taga.Amidthis chaosNicky■ tand■infrontotamirror■ lickingdown hi ■alreacfy■ lickedhair.

i (lookingaround,■ crutinizing) Idon'tthinkyououghttochewgum, I Marie.Ste&hanie,yourfalseeyelashe■

ar•COID1n9unglued•••the■ hoa ■are acuffed••••m,dtrywearinglingerie

N underthefrockin■ teadoftheN-

YorkYankff■T-shirt.

MiasPiggyENTERSspeedingaero- ■theroom,pushinga

I rackof9ament:.a,notlookingwhere•h•'•9oin9.

MISSPIGGY

-! Gangway!I.owbridge!Watchit,

siaterl

LadyHolidayLEAPSASIDEtoavoidbeingkilled. LADYHOLIDAY Sorry. Mi ■ aPiggyEXITStut.

I certainlywouldn'tgetinhe'r way. (sheglance•ather watch,thentoNicky) It1 1time. You'dbettergetout there. CONTINOED

~--•

r. r

,.r~~:y..·..:....~.

;

58. CONTINUED: 68 •

• Ii

Nic:rt BowdoI look?

Nickycheck.athemirrorfordriPZN1'leas111- ■P1'l'IYC011141 ■ bur■ t.inqthrouq~theroomaqain,herarm■ladenVit:h clothes.ShealmostcollidesVit.'>Nicky.

MISSPIGGY

I (notrecoqn1z1nqh1ml

Moveit,buater••ve•r•workin'

I. ·here.

(thenreal1z1nql Oh,I'msorry,Mr.Holiday.

l

NICKY

l (inloft) I Have.d1nnarv1thMtoniqht.

~) MISSPIGGY

(th1nk1nqhe'sk1dd1nql Raally••• Idohaveworktodo, Excuaema.

breathoffr-■ hair.I'mt1r■ dof

I the■-- kindofwoman•••

(1nd1cat-■modalnearlly) ••• tall,thin,g-argeouacreatures v1thlonq,■ 1lkyhairandperfect skin•••teeth11k•pearl ■,aqual1na no■ esandlon9,gracefulle9■, h1qhchaekbonuand&oft,ruby11p■• MISSPIGGY Yeah. Ican■ eewhenthatwow.d lllllk•you■ 1cktoyourstCDach, IIICKY It'syou Iwant.

r r

68. COIITINUED:

Won'tyouraconaider7 Kez:ml.tatlllllblHbackSUCJ•accident.J.y.

ltERIII'? Oh,sorry.LookinCJfor!:haman•• room. Nickypoinuoff■ omewhara.

KERMIT

I Thanlta. t KermitEXITS.

Sh ■CJOUaboutherbuain•••,uNickyiatotally demoralized.Carla~Marlaand.Darla,whohavebeen ohservinlJthiascene,approach.

COIITINUED

r·

·'

&a. CONTINIJEtl: u. NICKY I knowtheplan.IjWltwi ■ h therevu anotherway.

DAlU.1' And'thosetwinsarealway■noain• around.

j NICKY I ClkaylOkaylI'lldomyjob.

AndwhenI9ivat.'lesignal•••

F-.. you4oyour■•

Themodel.anodandEXI'l'.

CO'l''l'O:

59. IN'l'.

Inthi■lavishballroom,onalargerunwayexten<!in9 oatintoapaclcedaudienceoftheworld• ■mostfa ■hion con■ ciow,people,Nicky■ tan4■inth•apotl19htua DRIii!ROLL■ oun4■frCIIIthepercua ■ ioni ■ tintheorche ■ tra pit.

CON'l'INUED

59. CONTI!IUEll: 69. NICXY

I'mLadyHoliday••nephaw,Nicley. (heexpects■ pplau■ e,but 9etanone) Thankyou.Andnow,LadyHoliday Paahion ■take ■9reatpridein pr•••nt1.n9•slinkIntoSwamer•: Allaboard!ortheHolidayLine. Th•lightscomup,theorchei~rahitsthefirstnote ofanappropriatefa■ hiontheme,andabevyofmodel• appear!rembehindtha■ equinedvelvetcurtain•,wear- 1n9exqui ■ itaaummergown■anddr- ■ H ■,■ l1:>kingdown therunwaytothunderou■applau■ efromtheaudience. Fountain■attheendoftherunway■ pewjet■ofmulti- coloredwaterintoth•air.KenlitandFozzi•applaud fromthepre- ■section.Gonzopop ■flubbulb ■in people'•tacaa. NICXY Andhen'•th•captainofour■ hip, theho■ t■uwiththemo■ t- ■ t•••th■ oneandonlyLadyHolidayl LadyHolidaymale- ■agrandentrancetothund■rou■ applau■■• LADYHOLIDAY Thankyou,Nicky••••l1'fnephew,Nicky, ladiua!ld9entl ■men. (applau■ eatop■in ■ t&ntlyl andnoww~thoutfurtherado ••• Carla■nt■ rsfrombehindacw:taintolu■ tyapplau■ e fromthecrowdincludingStatlerandWaldorf. STATLER Prettynicelin-■,huh,Waldorf? WAIJ)()IIF Yeah.Andth• dru ■ain'tbad, either. LADYHOLI!».Y Meetcapriciou■C.rla,waarin9'the clu ■ icwhit ■■ ilkcrapedachina blou■ eupdatedwitha■hearknif■- plutedblackand■ 1lverlamabodice, clev■ rlyaccentedwitha!lockadtangier silkvai ■ tl■ tandlavi ■ htrompl'oeil trimatthehemline.FantaatiqueI •••• andthankyou,Carla. CONTI!IUEll

r r

,, ...,·. -··._..-~-

69. CON'?IIICED: o. Then i ■moreapplausefromeveryone,includingKexmit andFozzie.

FOZZIE

•i Whenaretheygorma•howthecaw

i andswampwear? I KERMIT

. Probablysavingittortb•tinale.

LadyHolidAycontinuesuDARLAEN'l'ERS.

COTro,

Nick-/watch- ■fromthewing ■a ■LadySolidaycontinue ■ toc!e ■ cril>eDarla' ■outtitandtbebeautitullydr•••ed Merla■ tandanearbyreadytomakeherentrance.Hi ■■ PiqqyisbetvHnth-,throwingcloth- ■intoahamper. Nickycatche ■Marla•-••Y•andCJiVWI ■hara•thumbs-up• ■ iqnal.Marlanodllandtall ■tath ■ground.

Mia ■Piqqyruah- ■toHarl•'•aidandcradlHthatall.en model•aheadinbararma.

r..

..... ••f'• '.

70. CONTI!ltlED:

HiH Pig-9Ybaarathisanddrop ■Marla'•?iaadonthe floorlilcaabotroclc. SFX: DAD SI'l."l'IHGFI.OOR ctl'1'TO:

71. DIT.

Tb•audiencaiaag-ogVithaxcitmnent.Fromvbatthay'va Hen sofar,thef!olidayCollacUonisabig-bit; J:.adySolidaycontinua ■barco,,...ntar,-. { . I.ADYSOLIDAY IfSzechuanaillcandbrocadadsatin

• broug-htbomathabaconviththis

litUanumber.

Th•curtain■part,andabundradviolin■playuth• mostbeautifulpig-inth•worldstandsinthe■ poUig-bt. Thaaudience9a ■ ps.I.AdyHolidayTURNSto■ eevbat theyarag-uping-at.

ButthereisnoneedforbartobeupHt. MiasPi99Y 1atothemanorhornandmorathanabletocopeWith stardom.InaseriesofDISSOLVES,Mi ■■Pig-9Yparades apanddowntherunwayalong-withabevyofother modal■invsriou■g-lamorou■ouUitafromtheHoliday Collection.lfitheacbn-ensmnble,Hiss.Pig-9Yand

-.

92FIRST REVISION

71. CONTINUED_ 71.

i ker ■ lt■ aleeeyeoontact•ndtheacreen~r1clclea•1th • I electricity.Cunzocontlnueator1a1hplcture1•

Nicleywatchesfro ■thewings,ld ■ lrlngly11the audiencebeginstobetotallyenthralled,LadyHoliday shrugsanddecidesthatlfthl1lawhatthepeople want,this11whatthey'llget. STATLER

I Fastenyour■ eat-belt,Waldorf.

I thinkthey'llbetrottln'out

i theblklnlsprettysoon.

. eyea,shebeginstafantasize.andthe:entlreproduction ' appearstohaveadrea ■ -lllcequality.Suddenly,•her

porlclnesa•1•cladlnaone-piece••l ■ aultalaEsther IUlh ■ a.

Theaudiencelsliterallyonitsfeet,cloppingand cheeringitscollectiveheartout.The■ ualcsoars,and lfBertParka••re.aroufld,lt1 1obvl;ouathathewould bealn;l~;.Inste•d,Nickytakeathe■ lcrophofleand beginscrooning•rhapsodytoNissPiggy;butfro■ NissPiggy'spointofviewtherh•psodylalnthe audienceandlt'agreen.

CUTTD,

( 7Z. INT. POOL• DAY

Nickyalngaanextremely■ eladr1 ■1tlcanthe■,•Mtsa Piggy•,aathedrea ■waterballetbegins.Itcon1l1t1 of• seriesofco ■ pl••for ■ atlon ■uti11z1ngother ••i-ers,whofor ■pinwheel ■andaovlngclrclea•round Ml••Piggy.Atthecll ■ oxofthenu■ ber,Ml••Piggy gushesforthon•jetstrea ■ofwater,■ uchlikelava fro■Mt.St.HelenaandplungesheadlongIntothepool.

,· r

92a FIRST REVISION

72. CONTINUED 72.

SONC1 "HISS PICCY•

-e - CHORUS A ■ 1racleotspring A ■ 1racleofbeauty Be dazzledbythe Hagleotonea ■ lle A visionotloveliness A universeofchar ■ a We'llnever.restuntil ( You'reinourar■ a

-" - NICKY (V.O.) Daffodil ■ His.■Piggy lhipporwUla Niu Piggy Everythingthat••lovelywar ■andspringysprinQ HinPiggy Fantasy NissPiggy Ecstasy HiaaPiggy Allthat'sfairortineorwonderfuloranything

(_ NICKY, CHORUS (seehi ■tor.tlrattl ■ e) Whendoestherapturebeginandgrow Wheredoesdevotionandpaaslongo CHORUS Oh- happineaa NICKY HiaaPiggy CHORUS Oneoar••• .. NICKY Hin Piggy

r r

9Zb FIRST REVISION

7Z. CONTINUED 7Z.

PlggyrhH up.

KERMIT,NICKY Alltheworld'•ever•anted. Waayou•Adrea ■co■ e,true CHORUS Ah• MissPiggy. NICKY It'syou

CUTTO,

r r

...··.:

73. nrr. BALL1l00M-DA.Y

Backtore&Uty. 11114tbuhappened,..4Videncedby th•<JHpinlJofthecrowd,1•thatMiasPi<JIJYhu marelyateppedofftheendoftherunwayintothe fountain.Shaaputter•totheaurface,hervolc!en bairplaatered4ovnaverber•Y•••Peopleruahto heraid.

CUTTO,

74. nrr. IIAI.I.a00M.-DAY-AIIOTBE!lANGLE

Nickyalipathe41amondnecklace••ttin<J,minuathe 41iuaonda,intoMiuPi1J1JY'•raincoatpocket-andruahu toMia ■Pi1J1JY'•re■ cue.

NickypuahHt.hro"'Jhthepeoplearoundthefo'!fttain. ... NICKY Makeway,·pl-••.Makaway. (then) Ben's yourraincoat,lUas Piggy,soyouwan'tcatchcold.

Nickydraputh•runcoatonrMiasPi99Y'•■ ilouldera andhelp•herup.

,,--....

(

,¢) .. ..-. ...--

75. C011TI!l1JED1

Ml••Pi9gywavestotheauc!iencatoahowtham■ be's nothurtandinadvertentlyputabarband1nherrain- coatpocket.Feelingsomethinginsicfe,•heextract■ thenecklacesettingandwonc!eravhatitis.

MISSPIGGr I cfon'tthinktbiabelong■tome. IIIctr (toLac!yHolicfay) Auntie.• •4oyourecognizethat?

LadyHolicfay,recogru.a ■-1timmecliat■ly.

I.ADY11.lLIDAY That••lfl'Lnecklacall kieaPiggyatol•lfl'Lnecklace. SECOIII'l'YGOARD&areonMiHPigg-.{..quick..aVink. lil!ISTLUareBLOWII,POLICZappeararu!.MiHPig9Yia clapp■cfinhancfcU:fs.

IIIctr 11.aePig9Y•••howcouldyou?

- ! i ThePOLICZbeginto.4.-agHiHPig9Yavay. l

lllllU'l' (u •bepuau him) Don'tvorry,Mi••Pig9Y••• we'll·getyououtofthie.

MISSPIGGr Yeah? Whan?

ltEllMI'l' Soon~ COll'l'Illtl1m

r r

75. CONTIIIIJED:

And■he1 ■gone.·TheaucU ■nc■buzzes.IIEPORTZIIScrow<! ■roundL&c!yHolil!ay.

AIIO!'IIERREPOM'Ell Wh ■taboutth ■rutofyourjewel■ ? LADYHOLIDAY Well,I'c!be■n1cliottokeepthem lyin'iJ■roan<!th■hou■ e,voulc!n'tI? R!:PORTER l'lh ■ taboutyourIK>■ t!'amou■piece ofjewelry?'l'h ■fabulou■•~•ball D1&1K>nc!"?

Ricky,Carla,ll&rla■nc!Darlahavebeen11 ■ t■n1n,;Jfrom backata,;J■,utbeyp ■■kouttlu:'oU,;Jhthecurtain.

..,·.: .:.•,·;..,.:..

76. COllTIIIOED:

TheCAlmRAPA."fSdownt:oREVEA:.·Gonzounc!ar•t:alll•. Be'•obrtouslybaenliat:anin9int:ant:lyt:oavaryvorc! lllicltybuNie!.

COT'1'0:

77. a.0SESIIOT-G011ZO

IR'l'.BAPl'IIIESSB0TEI.-HIGH1'

POLLBACXt:oREVI:AI.Gonzo,ait:t:in9ont:hellarphybee! in 111azoomat:t:heBappineuBot:el,wit:hall,t:heot:har Muppet:re■ ic!ent:s,includ.in9lteJ:lllit:anc!Fozzia.

KI:RIIIT (tryin9fororder) Role!it:fora••cone!.Quiet, everybody.Bole!it. IIIIPPETS (at:111jabberin9) Rob-busIRob-benI'fllat:nephew ua craeplLat••9et·-· We'lltear,_ apart.Keep, ••P• maep,-epl IknewMiu Pi99Ywu innocent!Let'•■prin9 her out:ofjail.FjordBarken bakea bombcakeI COHTIIIOED

r r

~-.•=.,·,:-:-.-:.:·•••·:~...·-~·

"

77. 77.

I' ZEIUUT

l Qw.11111111etl I Allfellsilent,■ aveonevoice.

I.

(toFloyd) I •••soIsaid,Hey,Mam,like it'smylife,okay.I-an, rilly,1!Iwannaliveatt!l• beachandwalkaroundnakedall day••• She■ tops,seeingthateveryone•l-is■ taringather. Finally,Kamitapaaka.

j ltERMIT ,. I Allright.Nowifwa'r•goin~

togetlliuPigCJ'.foutofjail,

i we'regoingtohavetocatch I tho••thieve■rad-handed. I

A'J

There1alaughter.llemit■ t1fl••it. IIER!!I'? I'mCJ01ngtopretendIdidn't heartha-:..

OZZIE Yeah,■ howalittlera ■ pactto ourleader.

I'mout.

Me, too.

CONTINUEll

('·

~-·.

77. COtlTINOED,

----- 9EAl!Ell

0'1'HEIW I've9otta9■tahaircut. Kykn••'•baanactil)9up. Don'twahavea919■ omavhara7 PurneyGurnayVolvotixe4.

J

POZZI!:

R (ailanca)

I thou9htwawareinthisthin9 to9■thar.i•mu ■ careduany

I otyau. llayba111Dra.Butit'•

■...,.tbin9thatha■tobadona, b ■ cauaat:b■ r■' ■110raatatakehara

-i thanjustourpar■onalsafety.I'm talltin9abouttraa4oman4ju■ tica

an4honea1;:y. '' Than is■ illl!lcaa■th•Kuppats419- ■ tthia. SCOOTER Boy,4oItaalul1ama4. POPS Ma,too.I tad lik•twocants.

I'mbackin.

BOREY%1E'lf Youcancowitonma.

COR'l'mtlED

r-

....:.. .,•,i,.

77. CONTINUE!):

AlJ.foroneIID4oneforall.

XZ1IMn' ':hut■•IkD- I couldcom,t oneachIID4..,..,./ODeofyou. Now,then'•not.1matowait. Thefirstthing-wehavetodo 1 ■makeoarplan■• Ju■ tthen,th ■bed,containing-alltheMuppeta,fl1H upintothewallwithabang-.Ag-a1n,Ung-er ■,cl-■, feet,feathersandhairprotrudefrom.theedg-H. KERMIT(0 .S.) (muffled) Or,- couldg-et■ om.esleep. Thellg-htbulbag-ainc:ra ■ heatothefloor•

78. nrr. JAILCELL-THE111:X'rDAY

Mi ■■Pig-gy,drH ■-dinpris011g-ar.,,■ itsaloneinher dingycell,playing-amournfultuneonaha,:monic:a. Aftera f- bar■,atoug-h-looking-f...,lepr1 ■ oner (QIJ:EEIIIU.IZABETB)inth•adjacentcell,rattle ■a tincupag-ain■ tth•·bar■•

l'EIIALEPltISONER· Hey,P1g-•••c:uttheracket! Mi ■■Pig-gy■ top■playing-.

l"EIIALBPIUSOHER I&>n• twanttohearnothin• I IUSSPIGGY Betteryet. Mis ■Pig-gyputsawaytheh&zmonica.

COIITINIJED

78. COll'l'INIIED:

FEMALEPRISOIIEI\ Fir■ t1:1-inthe■ 1--■r? MISSPIGGY Y~•••but:i:WUfr-._

l'EIIAI.EPRISQIEII (lau~adl Wewere!!l,,fr-.

l!J:SSPIGGY Butit' ■true.Iu■ -dtobea famou■modal.

l'EIIAI.EPI\ISOIIEll Yeah•••andIwa■theQuHDof tn01land.

-·· th•food? FEMALEPRISOIIIEI\ (cheerily) Surpri■ in01lyWallprepared. (beat) Butthatdoun'tmakeupfortile lonalinua.

r-

78. COl\1TJ:li11El):

Mi■■U9gygoe ■toacalendaron1:hawallandc:roua■ out1:hetintday,1:hen■ heliHdowninherblllllcand ■ tarHat1:haceiUn9,her1:hou9hudritun,to breal<in'loutofjailto■-eherbelovedKenut.A■ •bec:lo■uhereye■,NIJSIClll!:GIRStoplay. ·SOIIG: •sTOP•

KISSPIGGY

Free Withmyfrogatmy aide That1■howit mu■ tbe Formy Ke:cmyand-

DISSOLVE"rO:

80. IIIT.PRISCIICAFETERIA 80.

Th■SOIIIGC0ll'l'DIUES..Mi ■-Pi9'1Ymova■down1:h■ c:at■ t:■ rialineholdingaUntray,ontovhic:ha cool,;■_lop■apileot,ray'llop. KISSPIGGY Yucc:hIWhoopsI~

- 8 - Sheat:■ alaa■poon.

81. IIIT.PRISONCE:I.I.

Mi ■■PiggyX' ■<>uttbela■ tdayofthemonthonthe calencSar.

82. IIIT.PRISONMACHINESHOP 82.

MiH Pi!l!JY,,mcSerth•watchfuleyeofaguarcS,■ tamp ■ out1ic11D&eplate■•WhenthequardturtUIaway,Min Piggy■ harpen■th■stolen■ poononagrindingwhNl. Shecutsher■ elf.

83. IIIT•PRISONCE:I.I. 83.

IlatheSONGCONTINm:S,Mi ■■Piggy,lookingtirecS andwitba•-11 ■ t1'l:lbleofabeardandwrinkled, fadedprisonclothe ■,X'■outanenti:ramonthontha

i calendar.Shethanwaitsuntilaquardpa■■-■ber ,.·•·.....-,

cell,before■ heb"!lin■diggingattheplaateraround awa11·gratewitbhersharpenedspoon.

"--··

MiasPiggy,herclothesdirtyandgrimy,walk ■toone cornerofth•yard,pull&ahidden■ tringinher jacket,andaninordinateamountofdirtandrubble fall&outofherpantleg.

Intbi•horriblehole Stop Iwill•notlosecontrol

as. INT. PRISONCE:I.I. 85.

Ilathe"Freedom"SONGCOIITIWES,MissPiggy,older

r r

•·:,·_,..;J~-;'.··~··. ,-. '_.

as. COIITINIJED:

X'aoutadayon thecalendarmarked•zacapeDay•.

MISSPIGGY

I Lost:

Lockedupllerewiththe••acwn ltnow1nghowfarI'vecome Stop CouldthiBplot:bethat:dumb

'1'heguard,alsooldernow,pu ■ e ■th•cell,andMi■■ Piggygoest:ohercot:,pullsdownthecoversand revealsaNiss-Piggy-sizeddwamywithaNi••Piggy bodyandaRaquelWelcil!lead.MiuPiggythenrUIOYB ■ ''· thegratingandcrawlsintothehole.

SuspenseMOSIC-a■'Mi ■■-Piggy crawl ■throught:Wlnelt:ooutaide.

I

Guardsmanthet:overs.Saucillight:stum.

;;:._)

ctlTTO:

Aaeucillight:■w..psput:agrateintheyard.It: move■,then1..shoveduideby■ cmeoneorsomething widemaat:h.

MiHPiggy-rges andmat- ■Ilerwayt:othewall. Atth•wall,MiasPiggy1■abouttoclimbover,when the■ -arcilUght:hitsher.Dnablet:or- ■ iat:theglare ofthespotlight:,■ het:ll1'Mandbeltaout:th■final wordsof.thesong.

_.....•'...

MiasPiggy1•■halcenawalcebythe■ ameyardguard in thedream.

; COTTO: L,. \ ' 89. INT. VISITINGROOM-NIGHT 89.

Kermit■ itsinachairononesideofameah■ creen, dr••••d1.11abovlerhatandwearingapencilthin. moustache.Mi••Piggy,e ■ cort.edbytheyardguard, ■ it■ontheother•J.deofthebarrier. YARDGOARtl TwomJ.nutea,Piggy.That'sit. Theguardstep ■back.

r·

l ~ .;· ; _, 105

89. CONTIIIUED:

KERIII'r It'•beenforty-fivelllinutu.

DRMI'f BowtheytrHtingyou?

'

I

DRMI'f

,,,,.....,·'

I don'tthinknowiathetimefor thattypeofhumor.

Dlll!I'1' Yeah,allright.Anyway,juat ■uy put.We'vegotaplenand we'regonnaproveyou'reinnocent. 'l'omorrovnight,preciselyat midnight,thethieve■aregoMa tryto■ tealI.adyHoliday' ■Baseball Diamondfromthell&lloryGallery, andwe'regonna■ top'em. MISSPIGGY Who'a.ve?

ltEllllI'1' He,Fozzie,Gonzoandallour friend■fromtheHappinessHotel. MISSPIGGY '1'ho ■epea-brain■ ?I'llbestuck intheBigBouseforlife. CON'1'INtlED

r

;,,.:·-•.·:,·

alN'l'INOED: 89.

ltEIIIUT •s1iBouse••.•that1•prisontalk?

Piggyi ■wearingKez:m.1t' ■mouatache.

,-...)0, R11'1IT

Yoa'r•vaarin9mymauatache. MISSPIGGY Yeah?Well,youhaveme ■hmarks onyourface.

COTTO:.

i 90. INT. OFFICEDOOR-NICillT 90.

'?henm..onthedoor••Y••Nicky-irresponsible paruite•.

InNicky' ■plushofficesuite,theonlyillumination 1sa desklampwhichshinuonasetof.blueprint&'to theMalloryGallery.!'ourUquruclad.inblack turtleneck-•tenandblack■ki-pantaarehuddled noundthelightsource,goingoverachecklist,It isa -ll-oiled,synchronizedoperation. CONTllltlEII

(

91. COIITIIIOEI):

11:ICltY Glau cutter.

IIICltY llylonrape.

IIICltY StopW&tcb.

IIICltY Computerdeprogr..,...r.

I ; MARI.A

Check.

' ~) IIIO:Y

Electronicdea ■na1Uzar.

•I IIICltY

Packetlaaer•

'

IIICltY In~ra-redreflex••• Durin9thisaapbiaticatedinvantn,:y,we:

DISSOLVETO,

·,2. IIIT.BAPPIIIES$HOTEL110011-IIIGIIT u. Th*only119,htaa=c•iatheoverheadl19ii.tbulb,aa IIMUIYMuppataereclusteredazagndacrudematchatick replicaof•museum.

KERIIJ:T •••wbaapiecushion.

~ ,...._>, .•....•f.•.. ...:{~·

92. COIITI?IUED:

l"OZZIE Ithinkit' ■inthecar.

llRIIIT Bagof c:hiclten■•

llRMIT Pakevomit.

('~

SCOOTER

". Lo ■ t.

Can'tfind.....

n:RMIT Battery.

ltERl!IT Rotmu■tard•••

u. IIIT. OP!'ICE-NIGHT 93.

·r

•,.:.__

95. 95.

'EIIALEPRISONER (cont.inued) auamony,yelling,•ua,the thenaoatat•■onthefritzagain!• Well,I lil<ec!.toc!.ropmyacepter•••

FEMALEPRl:SONER Well,haven'twebeencranky lately?

96. nrr. OFFICl!-NIGBT .96.

NIC!tlr Computerprintoat.

Check. NICXY Should.erharnus. CARI.A Check.

NIC!tlr That••1t1We'reall■ et. TIieyalllookateachotherand.puttheirhand.a together.

NIC!tlr Goforitl

..,-¾.........,....,....~-· , ui

j l URMIT

Okay,forgetit.Iwuu•ve'r• allHt. Theyputtheirhanclal:09ether.

Muppatafallc!CJlfll,bumpintoeachother,thiDg' ■clatter andclan9,9eneralconfuaionandyelUn9.

,a. INT. JAII.CELL-RIGHT 98.

;

MiH Pi99Ycontinuatopace.

AL._)

Mi••Pi99Yleapstowardth•barsandspread.athemapart withherbarehoofsand iagone.

·"·FEMALEPRISONER (admirin9ly) Go foritl

99; EX'?.L0HDORSTREET-RIGHT 99.

A■ lNk,ailentJ&9U■ raut01110bil•purr■downtheback ■trHU ofthecity,carryin9the"HolidAyGan9•. 'l'heyapproachtheMalloryGallery,••-11Victorian l:nsild.1n9,thn•orfour■ tori••bJ.9b,aurroundedby iron9ateaandpatrolledby■ -curity9U&rdaand Dob•~ Pincen.Onth•fro,,t9atea■ i9ftread■: "MalloryGallery.Don'ttryit,you'llbetornto shred■ !"Th•Ja91141"cruiH ■byandparkaafew block■away.

r

Th■BappinasBot■ lcourtesycarclangandclank• andrattl ■salong,hd■nvit:hallt:h ■Muppat■and t:h■irparaph■.malia. Th■Dr. THthBandrid■■atopth■v■hicl■,playipg ar■pri ■■of"NightLif ■"uK■ lClllittri■ atoqui ■ tth- dovn. CO'l''1'0:

Apruan laundrytruck,whichread■"BigBouse Laundry",andundern■ ath,•servingth■prisoncomnmity ■ inc■t:heSpanishInquiaition•,roll•outofth■ pri ■ ongatHwit:haapraild- ■ agl ■dpigcliJ>;ingtot:h■ backfordearlife.

Th■HolidayGangsteals■ ilantlyacrouth■rooftop■, ·ailhou■ ttedagain■ tt:ha■ late-coloredaky,■ topping vllantheyraachth■roofedgenexttoth■gallery. COT'1'0:

103. srr. 103 Aero■-t:h•■ treatfrom..t:h•gallery,fromaroundt:h■ corn■ rofabuilding,th■Muppet■appear,carrying thair9■ar,eachon•w■arin9th ■■ am.■unn■ce ■■ ary di•~•• --a.gla■■■-/no■■ /lllouatach■combination. Allth•Muppet■,fromPop■toRizzo,■ portthi• •Gra\lcbo•ma ■ kutheyan■akaroundthecornertoward t:h•gallery. COT'1'0:

Adi•••lrigroar■downth■road,driven-by•hug ■, 11!,•h•Yen.,hurlytrucker. COT'l'0:

r

'

rrcmlnsldethecab,theDlaVERwstcll••theroad, whlc:b1&1111minatedbythebeadll9hta.

Sw!denly,he•-••f-1• pl91Dprlaooclothln9, atand1n9lnthe1114dleoftheroad1nthe9lareof hlabea4119hta:'1'be4rlwrbltathealrbrake•an4 therl9camHto aacreechln9halt.

i 106. EX'l'.TRIJC1tCAB-RIGHT 106

111.asPl99Ystandslookln9apatthe4rlver. MISSPIGGY Excuaemol,butIvu wcndsrln9 whattimeltvu. DRIVER It'•aboutelevan-thlrty. MISSPIGGY Doyou happentoknovwhere LadyHol14ay'•BaaeballDllllll0n4 1abeln9kept? DRIVER Yes,I 40.It'•atth•l!allory Gallery,aVirtuallyimpr■9011bl• fortreH,11111Hawayframhere. MISSPIGGY I onlyhawa hallhourto9et there. DRIVER On foot?You'llnevermakeit. MISSPIGGY I know.Bowaboutarlds? The4rlverpolntatoaalponthe■ 1411ofthe4oor whichreads,·••oPu ■ enpra.Thia-an.ayou1• DRIVER Can'tyou•- the&190? "NoPas■ en9en•. MISSPIGGr 1-u:r1 CoUldn'tyoumakeanexception forUttl• ol'moi?

' a±--- ..,-..) ..,.__:.·.....-.:.. .,·'~-,;...'~,.

106. CONTI!ltlED:

DRIVER

MISSPIGGY

- Pl&AH?

lloI

Sha·tban-turns·toth■driverendl ■ ts--out·akarate·yell. MISSPIGGY (continuad) Ya-haaaii•-1

Shepull•openthedoorofthetruck,,rabathe terrifieddriverbyhistattooedarmandlitarally flip•hi.aheadoverhealsoutofthecabintoabunch of 9arb&9&cans.

OSCARstickahisheadoutofon■ofthecans. OSCAR What••alltherac:Jcat? DRIVER Whatarayoudoin9hen? OSCAR A wry briefcameo.

107. Erl'.LONGS110'1'-iv.LI.ORGAU.Elllr-NIGHT 107

Insilhouette,fouru,=..cladonlyinblack,save on ■pairofred-and-white-stripedsoc:Jca,lowerth-. Hlve•fromenadjacentrooftoptothel■dpofa thirdfloor9allarywindowbyridin9onpulleys alon9anylonropestrun9bstweanthebuildinp.

arrTO:

'i'!reJ!Uppets,still4ia9Q1,Hduehordeof"Grcucho••, ■ tanthroU911theiron9ateeoftheforbiddin,

CONTDIIIED

r r-

i -i;!-,..,_ r--- J '·.-.-:.-

108. COIITINOED:

IID4bi ■do;ia41 ■ appeararoundacornaroftb ■bw.141ng.

•' papertowela.

URMI'l'

BCIW'arewasupposedtocut thrcu9bthebar■ifnobod.y brought■ tufftocutwith?

i,.

Ft.0YD Ibrouqt,thot111U11tar4.Maybe that'lleatthroughth•ban.

I

nllMI'l'

l (thilllcingfa■ t)

Eat·throuqbthebara.Anilllall-

,t::) comehere. ,,

AnimalappearsatKeaait' ■■ ic!a,wearinghi••c.raucho• ma■Jt.

Ja:IIKI'l' (conUnue4) Taiteoffyourma■ltIID4■Hif ( youCIID=-t:hrouqbthi■fenc■•

Animaleagerlyflip ■offthema■ ltan4prepare ■to

Betake■abigbiteoffence,thenfin4■out,alJDo■ t in ■ tantly,thatit' ■electrified,u■vi4ence4by the■ iazleofhiqhvolt:apcr■c:lclingthroggtihi ■... bodywhichcau■Hbi■■yHto openevenwi4aran4·hi■ hairto■ tr ■igb.tanoutlilc•porcupinequilla·. MIIIIII.

AAAA.!IARRGH11 KERMI'l' AnimalIIC ■epquiet. COll'l'INOED

.....~·. .......

108. COll'l'IBUED: 108

Butit' ■toolate.ThedO!J■arebarkint•n4th•fUarc!s araCIIItheirvay.

10,. EXT. HIGHWAY-HIGHT 109

Aclie ■ -1ritroarsc!owntheroad,Iii ■■Pitffatth• wheel,&detez:minedlookonherfaceu■herace■ apin ■ ttime.Sh•reach••c!ownan4pick ■upaca milca. MISSPIGGY (intomilceIUlkinfin a 4.--11 Breakerone,thi ■1allambock••. Do youread••CON on? VO.ICEORca(0 .S.I I readyouloudandclear, Bamhock,thi ■isDirtyBird,

• What'syourtwenty,over?

r r

....:,.·_. ....._:.·•-. -~:

'rileHolidayGan,;■moothly■ndvordlu ■ lycut■alar,;e circularholedlrou,;h■thim- ■ tor■yWilldovwitha ,;la■■cutter.

Theycarefully■ lipthep ■neof,;la ■■Uideendclimb tllrougt,theopenin,;,while-below,ontheother ■ ideofthebuildin,;,DOGScanbeheardSlllAllLnlG.

CllTTO:

AGtJAlll)holdin,;v1ciou■c!o,;■onacbainpeer■■u ■p1c:iou■ ly throughthebu■attwoidenticallydre■■ edpizza deUvelCJmen. GtJARI) I neverorderpepperoni.

i ;::::-. l"OZZII!:

Wedon'tmak••em,wejuat deliva:'em.

Th• ,;uardr■ lw:tantlyopen■the,;ate■nd1:J.e ■th•do,;■ toapo ■ t.lluppeta· ■ neakthroUghthe,;atewhil•ltemit ■ndFoni• keepthe,;uamoccupied. GUARD What'•thanameonthe■ lip?

DIIII'l' That••th•nameonthe■ Up.

GIIAJtD (scratchin,;hi ■head) ButIhat•pepperoni.

COIIITI!IUED

' ~, ... rr.'"'.,.,? 1ia

111. CONTINUED: 111

•. 'l'hetruck■peed■down·theroadput•■ ignWhich••Y•,

CC'l'TO:

tileEIIGIM:SPO'l''l'ERS.MinPi'ICJYlooksatthe'IU gaugewhichread..,,•Empty•.

i CC'l'TO:

f,:) 114. Ilil'l'..OPPER!'LOOR01"GAI.I.E:Rlr-NIGll'l'110:

Oncatfeet,theHolidayG&n'Imale••it■waydownalon11 corridortowarda■ taizwell.

CIJ'l'TO:

Kem.it,l'oz.zie,GonzoandotherMuppet ■,carryingall kind■oftbin,;sthey40n•tnffc!,■ tan4infrontofth• h- oakdoorsthat1N4intothetreuurercomofthe 11alle:ry.

-

KB!CIII'l' (lool<in11around) Thar•••gottabeanotherwayin. SCOOTBJl Betterfinditfut. Tho■-do'I• arealmostfinishedwiththatpizza.

r r

,,·..,:.:.•·· :=~·. ·.·......- .,

115. CONTINUED: us

XEIIMJ:T (abrainatcmn) IknOiflThroWJhtheroof. Theylookup.Theroof1 ■veryh1'1h. FLOYD Lilce,aan•••novaywe're9on.na '1•tupthere.

Theattackdov ■comerac1n,aroundthecornerofthe llu1ld1n'1,theirvoracJ.ous•1>11•t1te ■not■ at■ dby pizza,cr•viD'1Muppetf1l■ t. { KEmlIT Whoa,N■ ll1■1II

ThellllppaUer•vu-tuallyprop■ lladbyterrorupth• ■ id■ofthebll.1lllin'1andontotheroof.De ■p■rat■ ...,49d■■ perat ■thinva.TIie,rouplook■down■t th■anerl1n'1do?.l"ozzJ. ■1■..,r•terr1f1■ dthan a::t■ t.

'OZZIE Sofar,I'mnothavin9anyfun.

Gonzol ■ an■p■ r1lou■ lyf■roverthe■d'1•and■nap■

'•i ap1ctur■of¥1-fan'1■and■al1va. i' • CUTTO:

Mi- ■Pi'1'1Y■ it■byth■aid■ofth■road,h•rr1'1 u■■l-■■1nth■back,round. MISSPIGGY (d■■pa1r1n'11Y) There' ■noth1n'1moreIcando. It'&11:55.I'lln■v■ rllllkait. A truckcar■■nsdownth•road,th■back.dooropen ■and amotorcyclefall ■out.Itrollaharm.J.- ■■ lytoa ftopr1'1htnexttoMi ■■P1'1'1Y•Onth•■ -at1■ah■ lmet anda■ tyl1ahcycl1n'1outfit.Shelook ■atth•CUIEIIA, ■hru'1•a■ifto■ ay,"Ididn'twrit•th1 ■■ tuft•.

r

I ,-(:)

,,. 120 '

TheHoli4ayGangstealthilycreep■downanother corridortcwardadoorwhich·obviously1aanentrance to th•treasureroom.Nickygivesa•thumbs-up• aignal,u theypeerthrouqhapeepholeinthedoor.

Th•HQppetaarecrowdedaroundaakylightinthe roof,lookingdownintothetna•ur•room.Fozzie givH theKezmit"thumbsup•■ ignal.Whatthey■ -e1a th•l ■rqHtdi111110ndinth•known-world.Enca ■ -din glass,1nthepalmofavelvetcatcha.i:'' ■mitt,1•the fabulou ■BaaaballDiamand,sonamedl:acauseit.sfacet ■ looklike■ titche ■andbecauaethe■ toneitself1■ thesize·,ofaSpeuldin9.TheMuppet■aremo ■ tly impres ■ ed.

'OZZU I'venever••enanythinglike that. Jl\NICE

•I Rilly. It'•11.ltetotally■ uper•

, ' CUTTO:

Miu Piggy,heirflyingintheVind,tool ■alongon thechopper,tbeengineroarin'1throughthenight: AU ofa sudden,1'01.ICESIRENSveilin-"•baclt'lrQund. MISSPIGGY (tocamera) Well••• youwantedexcit-nt.

r---

·.~•.

lU ..

120. I!IT.GAU.DY.-NIGHT

TheBol~y Gangstandsoutslc!ethec!oortothe treuureroom,a■ ophlaticatecSplaceofalactronlc

j aqalpaentalmacSat1:l>elatch-■•NicleyBollc!ayp11ShH

an •on•■witch,lightray ■are■lllittec!,ancSth•cSoor aully •lngsopen,ravaaUng1:hainteriorofth•

l treuuraroomvlththeglassancasec!BaseballDlUIOncS

llparltllnglDl:halllcSc!la.

I

...

121. ROOF-NIGHT 121 TheMuppet■havemanagacStoliftthe■ kyllght,ancSare ■ taring1:llroughthehololin1:haroofatth•Baaeball DlamoncS,!"8"YfHtbelow.

!'OZZIE NovwhatcScvac!o7

j KE1'1IT

Wavaltuntilthey1:rytosteal

I' thec!lU10DcS,thanGonzotake ■ ;::_, 1:halrpicture.

!'OZZIE Brilliant!

Parlactl

r (

...:·;' .

121. CONTIIIICEI>:

BEAKEll Heep,meep,maepl

SAit lihatabirc!-bn.inl

The9!;9isover!

DR.'l'EETB -Yeah,let'spackitin. ZOOT Ne'retappec!.

ll!IKI'? (caUJ.n9orc!er) Qw.etlSettlec!OWD.Ne'r• not¢vil>9upyet.Ne've cometoofar.tot= back naw.Na'r•juat901D9to haveto90c!ownthere■De!

I capturethosethievesrac!-

hanc!ec!•

Nhatcoloraretheirhanc!snco,? KERMIT (c!is9U9tec!,toc■-ra) Iffr09scouldonlyacr11A111.

CDT'l'Ot

122. X.ONDOIIS'?RD'r-RIGII'? 12:?

Th•aounc!ofaM0'1'0RCYCI.EDIGIJIBpierce ■theairu Ilia ■Pi99Yrace■by.Thepolice••-tobe_cloain9 inonh•r·,aoaftera9lanoebackatth-,ahe■ imply papa•Wheelie,poursontbegaa,andr~ce•away.

ctl'1''1'0:

...·..·..".

'rileHolidayG&n9approaclluthecliu,ondcase, cautiously,bolclin9yet:anotherelectronicdevice, thist:imesamesort:ofalaz:mdesenait:izer.

l , etrrTO:

12,. EXT. ROOP-IIIGll'l' 124

TIielluppetswatchtheHolidayGan9'•everymove. POZZI!!! Howarewegonna9etc!cwnthere? BONl!!!l)J!!W lSUCJ9Ht:wejump.

l0NLP It:'•overaburu!ndhet:I HOlll!!rDEW Iclidn't:sayit:WUagood SUCJCJeStiOll.

,_

KEllltl:"r W•'r•ju.atqamiahaveto

"'' impronse.We•11makealadder

out:ofwhateverwillboldua. ~ Goodidea.Ben••t:b•paper towels.

Cll"rTO:

Ni••Pi99Y'•DX>t:orcyclefliespast:aSiCJftwhich raada,•xauoryGallery,atleaattwomorem1l•••· C1J"rTOI

12&. m-r. '?Rl!!ASllREacoM-RIGll'r 12( Ricky'•deaenaitizer~illsthecircuit:breaker,end thedim9lowwbicbaurroandedthediuondcaHCJQe ■ out:.De.rla9iwathe"thumb ■up•aiCJn,thenat:ande CONTillllEI)

,-.:,'

..· .~·.

126. CCNUNIJED: 126

by theroom'•onlyvinc!cwtotheout■ ic!a.Merla anc!Carla■ taptotbeca ■-anc!rai••tbe114.'flla BuaballDiamonc!9l1tter■■ obri9htlyitilluminate ■ tbeface■ofth•-■ l■,anc!theyaretran■ fixec!, untilNicky-P•hi ■fin9er■andinc!icatuforDarla to all:•itfromth•caaeandto ■■itto11111. Slovly,cautiou■ ly,ab•ruche■forthec!iamonc!, takin9itoutofthevalvat1111.tt,turnin9it1nliar bane!. Suc!c!aDly,from.h19habo,,.,acryrin9■out. GONZOco.s.) GaroDrllUUUUIJlilll11 '1'11•Bolic!ayGan9look■up,■ urpri ■-,■ hockanc! 11111&zamantontheirface■•Littl•vonc!ar,forhurt1- in9towarc!■t.hamareapackofyallin9Muppet ■, ban9in9onto••chotbar■vin9in9pracariou■ lyabove th-. .

A■ the"Muppetchain~■win9■clo■ ar,th•tbraamoc!ala ac:reamt

AieelOooooohlRun!AiaalI

HICtY Quick.'fllrow-tb•c!iamonc!I Darlato■■ uthec!iamonc!toC&rla.Kaz:mit,atth• bottom.ofth•chain,ju■ tmi ■ s••ituh•■vin9■put. Carlatoa•••ittoMarlawhofinallytau••itto Nicky.'l'hac!iamonc!fli••thrcU9hth•airintoRicky'• v&it1n9bane!. Thethraa1110.S.l■■ cattar&nc!trytorunforth•exit, butit'•toolate.'l'h•Muppet■haveeithercruhac! or 1..pa4tothefloorandAnilllal,■ an■ in9!!2-!!!!!l unc!artboa•■ kiclothe■,block■tb•••capercuta. ABDIAI, !2-m■nlJ!_o-manl Carla,MarlaandDarlafr••••-intheirtrack■,not· Vi. ■hi119tot■ n9lavitbthi ■creature. Discretionbein9thebetterpartof,,..lor,they ■urrenc!ar.Nicky,however,doe■ n'tplanon9ivin9 up thatea■Uy. CONTINDZD

... .r.•_--:;,·'•

12&. COIITINCED: 126

lll:CICY You'llnevertake-alive, Pozz1e.

KE11Ml'1' Secondofall,aom■dayyou're 901119tor■ a11-■thatwt>at you're4oinq1•diabonut.

lll:CICY (think■ai>oatth1a,th ■nl Okay.tl!■ n.Iq1v■up.

lll:CltY Of=urs ■not,youtv1t. 11i.aypull■outaDerr1nq ■r,qral>•K■ niitaroundth ■ n■a andholc!ahillhoataq■•

lll:CltY (continu■dl Alr1qht,youIIUpp■ u.... hackoff!· •

K■niitaak■-chalcinqnois■-. lllCJtY (toK■niitl Ican'tundar■ taDdvbatyou're ••yinq. K■niitqaq■•f- mar■till■■• lll:CKY (loo■ aninqth■qr1p on lt■niit'athroat) Sorry.

hop■toqain?

r::.•.

126. CO!ITINCED1

RICff Jlot:hinc;.l'mavillain..•• Pura&114aimple.Tb•rotten apple.Thebac!penny.ButIhaft niceteetil&lie!IkHp~rCIOIII ne·at:.

r'ozzIE: Cb•••Mr.Bollc!ay,air,whyc!on't youletKermit90?Ifyon hole!himtoolon9he'll9iftyou wuta.

NICff Sorry.Ba'sc:omin9withme. (toKei:mit) Say9ooc!byetoyow:buc!cliu.

I,.

rouwon'tbe••eJ.n'•-enymare. (tomoc!els) C'mon,9irla•••let'•ptoutof here.

I j

127. I!IT. 127.

Beturnatoward.tilewinc!ov,clatchinqthecliamonc!anc!

"" Kei:mit.All0ARIIIGSOOND1a11.earc!&lie!Rickyat&llda

....,..rizec!,uthrougllthe9lua,1.n9loriauaSI.OW IIOTIOR,comesapi9onamotorey~l•to■natchvictory frcmthejaw•ofc!efeat,9lu ■■h&tt:ui.n9inall 41.rectiona.Sheleapsfromthebike&lie!karat■chop■

•I Carla,·Marla&De!Darlainto■ Dblli.a ■ ion.Kei:mit9rlll> ■

theBueballDiamonc!frcmtheconfuaec!Ricky&De!club• himi.ntileheac!withit.Rickyfall•,DDCOD8Ciou■• '?he!lappet■chear.

CDTTOI

128. I!IT.IIALt.Om"GAIIEPYTRZASIJllE110011-AFEIi!IOMENTSI.A'1'EII

Policeanc!9narc!spickthrou9hthec!ebri■,henc!cuffth• -•l• &De!••cartth-towaitin9policecar■outaic!• thebuildin9,Wbil•IIUpp■ Ullinfl•aroDDc!theperiphery. Rickyi■hale!bytwoofficer.

KEP!IIT (toIii■■Pi99Y) rou-r• ma911ificut,111 ■■Pi99r. CO!ITIHIIED

'~.

r: r

::;:.-~·~....'.

128. COIITI!ICZD: 128 •

MISSPIGGr

I414itallforyou,Kermy.

UIIMI'l' 'l'banka.

MISSHGGr Pornada.

Police••cortllickyputKermit,Pig-gyan4l"ozzie. llickyatop■an4lock ■long-ing-lyatM1saPig-gy.Beia ban4cuffec!.

RICKY

' C ■ incerely) .Ireally414careforyou,you know.

I RICKY ,.,..... We coal4'-badthevorl4ona

•11~ platter.

ln:CXY Don'tbate-• lU.aaPig-gy. NISSPIGGr I 4on'tbateyou,llicky.It' ■ justthataomevberealong-the linaI founcSoutthe41fference betweenwrong-an4rig-ht.rou'n wrong••• (1n41cateaKermit) •••be'ar19b,t. llickynoc!a,Kermitblushes.

KEIUII'l' (softly) Kei:mit.

COll'l'IHOED

...•....·~-.:~..'.

128. CONTI!ltlED1 128.

I RICJCY

Amazing.

l

I.AdyHolidayEll'l'ERS,c!re■■ edina■ tyli ■hjogging ouUitand■neakera.

LADYROI.I!IAY llhywun'tInotilied?

GOlilZO We called,butyouwereoutjoV!linv. POZZU . We juatfoiledaj-elhei■ t. MISSPIGGY Andyourneph-wu thethief ••.not••

Nicky?IRowcouldyou?

Butyoukeepyourroom■ oclean. NickySIIIUJGS.andi■led-ay.TheBueballDi...,nd i■■ afelyanderlockandkey.Th•Muppet■convrat..iate the11■ -lv••one•job-11done.

WhatcanI■ ay?I'mvery vretefultoallofyou.

KEllllIT Well;ganv,wedidit.llh- theDailyChroniclehear ■about thi ■they'regonnarolloutthe redcarpet. CONTINOED

r- r

-:~

128. CONTDltlEDI

DISSOLVET01

129. IHT. FIIIST-cI.ASSSZC'1'IONIBOLDOFA.IRCJI.U'T-DAY129. CLOSESHOT-lll!:IISPAPD111!:ADLINE-DAY TheheadlineintheDailyChronicleraada"'?Winsand PigFoilReist•andasui>-haadlin■"Thi■ftscau9ht rac!-hanc!ec!•.

Thepicturebel""thehaadlinashowsKermit,Fozzia anc!Pi~-beingcon,ratulatac!byLadyBolic!ay.Miu Pi~ istheonlyonelookingc!ir■ctlyintothecamera. PDLLBACKtoIIEVEALStatlerandWalc!orfreadingthe paper1Athefiratclussectionofanairplane.

S'l'A'l'LER Canyoubeli■ftit,Walc!orf? They'reh■roasl11...,they're gonnabeabnax1,;,ua.

liALDORF Sowhatelseisnew?

TheCAl!EllAPANSDOIIBfromStatleranc!lfalc!orfasthey continuetalking,fromthefirstclua■ actiontothe ( cargohole!below. ~RF (O.S.) (continuec!) I ■ ayall'swallthatanc!awell. S'1'A1'LER(O.S.) Do■■ n't-ttarto-• A&long u itenc!&.

-• 1Athecargohole!,the.Muppet ■canbarelybe■ -en 1AthedJ.mlight.Buttheycanbeh■ arc!,talking, complainiAgabouttheconc!ition■,Other■ oanc!■1Acluc!e th&c!ron■oftheAIRPI.all!!EIIGIIIUanc!theCLOCKof CBICKE!IS.

CONTIHOED

--~. ,-...__

----··· ······-·-· r:.

12,·.

SC00TZll lUa4ifI uaeyourtailfora pillow7

SN! Bowcoma- nevu-rec ■ivedany aatetyiutructiOAS7

HONEYDEW

s- toyou,tellal l'OZZil!: Thia1aworsethanthetripover. ll:l!:JIIII'1' That' ■becauethere• ■fortyof ....

MISSPIGG% (realizing) Oh,boyl• JANICE Okaynav,juat■ taycalmand llka.4on'tmoveferliJcethenext ■ i.zhour■• A dooropen■an4theS'l'l!:lllUIDenter■•

(_

..,.., .·--..

12,. CORTDIIIED1

STEWAIU) Alloutfort:lleU.S.A.!'

- IIIDIIIIT

__________Oh,_~at._- cl011•areve7

CUT'1'01

130. ElCI'.BLUESltY-DAr 130

MIJSIClWUcolorfulIIUppeUODparec:batHbe<Jinfloatin9 to earth. SONG: "SEY AIICJVIE"(REPRISE) I (lyric•tocame)

Sandry11-u babinandoutoft:ll•pictureut:ll• IIUSICCORTIIIIIESAlmTDCREDITSuanr.JUiie•relUH ( on tbecblli••loanv•attachedtot:ll•parec:bute.The other-• oftbeDr,T-t:llBandplayt:lleir ina=-u ••Dr.'l'llet:ll' ■pianoiacarriedbyaaeparata paracbuta.Bodriftsupvard.Gonzopl1'111111etadownward. 'l'b•rau- t:lleirparachute•trinv•etc.etc. Alltbe.,..icand■ in9in9continue,Mia ■Pi99YandJ:umit driftintotbefr- abariD9a•invl•paracbata. MISSPIGGY -Y'knaw•••when.,.landIthinkyou andIabould90outandcelebrate. Wecouldpllintt:li•townred. J:DIII': Wbatcolori ■itn-7 (than,jayoualy) Idid•it,I90titin. NhoooiellDidjabeart:llat7 IwaitedandV&itedandI finallyvotitiDIllhatcolor isitnow71Ra-baaaalYa ■ air. I4iditl -

I

I -

~---

·..:.......::·.·.:

130. 130.

Aa llienl1tcontinue ■tolau9handcanyan,1CI.LIIACll: to REVZALtheakyfullotJluppeta,allain9in9the conclnaianotthefinalewithKenitt•alau9hte,:acbo- in9a9atnatJ.t.OnthiaLOBQSBOTottheentirecut, NUSIC»n>CllEDI'l'SBIID. Fadetoblack.

TIIEEND

I I