"MEN IN BLACK" (1997)

Men In Black

by

Ed Solomon

Amillionstarswinkin thenightdesertsky.Downhereon earth,an insect,oneofthosebig,beautiful,multicoloredfour-wingedjobs,glides effortlesslyonthebreeze,waftingalongthroughthecrispTexasair.

Theinsectdips,itbanks,it doesloop-the-loops--andthenSPLATS unceremoniouslyagainstthewindshieldofawhitevanthat'stearingdown theroad.

TheDRIVERofthe van,a fifty-year-oldAmerican,turnsonthewipers, smearingtheremainsallover.

Hesquirtssomewiperfluidontothe glass,whichclearsitupa bit,but nowhe seessomethingworseupahead.It'sagroupingofheadlights,eight ofthem,all pointedathim,sealingofftheroad.

Hebiteshis lipandcallsoverhis shoulder,tothebackof thevan.He speaksinSpanish,whichissubtitled.

Thevanslowsto a stopinfrontof theparkedcars,allgovernment-issue fourdoorswith"INS"stenciledonthesides.Sevenor eightINSAGENTS standinfrontof thecarsimposingly.Theirapparentleaderstepsforward andcomesto thewindow.

TheDRIVERrollsitdown.AGENTJANUS,blonde-haired,blue-eyed,also governmentissue,looksathimandsighs.

ATTHE BACKOFTHE VAN,

theAgentsflingopentherear doors,revealingaDOZENFRIGHTENED MEXICANS,hopefulimmigrantswithoutofficialpermission.AgentJanus looksatthe Driver,who'snowheldbytwo otherAgents,andshakeshis head.

Theypileoutof thevan.Some areparentswithsmallchildren.

Hestopsin themiddleofhis sentence,asanothercarisapproaching, fast,itsengineWHININGasit barrelsdowntheroadtowardthem.Several Agentspulltheirweapons.

Thenewcar pullsahard right,goesofftheroad,spinsaroundtheINS cars,andSQUEALStoa sidewayshalt,silhouettedinfrontoftheir headlights.It'saboxy,black1986FordLTD.

TWOMENget out,dressedinplainblacksuits,crispwhiteshirts,simple blackties,shinyblackshoes.KAY,fiftyish,istheapotheosisof world-weary;hispartner,DEE,mid-sixties,isjustweary.Theyapproach theINSagents.

KayandDee flashsomeformof ID.

KayandDee movepasthimand approachtherowofnervousimmigrants.

Hewalksdownthe row,studyingthefaces,greetingeachonecheerilyin Spanish.

Oneby one,theirfacesrelax,reassuredbyKay'scalmdemeanor.Whenhe reachesthefifthGuy,hekeepsthe samecheerytone,but:

TheGuysmilesand nods.Kaystops.Hisownsmilebroadensandhe dropsa handonthe Guy'sshoulder.

Again,theGuysmilesandnods.Kay looksbackatDee.

Silenceontheroad.The Drivergrins,jumpsbackinthefrontseatof the van.Theotherspileintothe rearandtheytear outofthere.

KayandDee escorttheircaptiveacrosstheroadandovera smallrise, leavingthestunnedINSagentsstandingaloneintheroadway.

2NDINS AGENT Thereisno Division6.

3RDINS AGENT Whoare thoseguys?

KayandDee leadtheircaptiveintoaclearinginthe desertbrush.Dee pullsanenormoushandgunfromashoulderholsterandstaysapace ortwo off,coveringhim.Kayhasan armdrapedaroundtheman'sshoulders.

Hepullsout asmalllaserdevice,whichheZIPS neatlydownthefrontof theman'sclothes.

Theman'sclothesfalltothe ground,revealingwhathereallyis underneath--ASCALYSPACEBASTARD,aboutfour-and-a-halffeettall,with asnouth,snail-liketentacles,andindependentlymovingeyesonstalksat thetopof hishead.

Theonlypartof hiscamouflagenotcrumpledtothegroundisthe humanesque"head,"whichhestilllamelyholdsinoneofhis hands.It's proppedupbya stick,likea puppet,anditcontinuestomakeexpressions ashe holdsit.

MIKEYreplies--anunfathomablecombinationofGRUNTS,SQUEAKS,and saliva.

Mikeymakesalame SQUEAK.

FrombehindMikey,theyheara terrifiedGASP.

KayandDee bothlookoverquickly.Oneof thealien'seyes,ona tall stalk,whipsaroundtoo.Allthreeofthem seeAGENTJANUS,standingjust overtherise,staringinfrozenamazement.

AgentJanusSCREAMS.Mikeyripsfreeoftherest ofthe"Mexican" disguise,knocksDeeoutoftheway, andtakesoffstraightatJanus, SCREECHINGahorribleSpaceBastardscreech.Janusfreezes,terrified.

Deestrugglestorolloverand changethecontrolsonhisgun,whichfell outof hishandas hehitthe ground.

Mikeykeepsmoving,coveringthelastfewyardstoJanusquickly.Hesteps ona rock,launcheshimselfintotheair,hisdrippingjawscrankedwide open--

--thereis aSIZZLINGsound,abrilliantwhiteflash--

--and MikeyERUPTSina geyserofbluegoothat splattersalloverthe ground,thetrees,andAgentJanus'face.BehindwhereMikeywas,Kay stands,smokingweaponinhand.

Onthe road,theINSAGENTSpulltheirgunsand runtowardtherise.

Kayhasan armaroundJanus,whomhe isleadingfurtherintotheclearing. Janusiswhite,shaking,eyeslikesilverdollars.

Hetakesout ahandkerchiefandwipesofftheAgent'sface.Ashe does, JanuslooksbacktowhereMikeyblew up.Thenat Kay.Andthenup atthe stars.

TheotherINSAgentsburstoverthe rise,SHOUTINGquestions.

Fromovertherise,car enginesWHINEinthedistanceandheadlightsstart toflasharoundthem.Kayreachesintohis pocketandpullsouta tubular metallicdevicethesizeofa pocketrecorder.Hecheckshiswatch, figuresinhishead,thendialsan electroniccounteronthesideofthe deviceupto "08."

Behindhim,sixmoreMEN INBLACK,allwearingblacksuitsandsunglasses, comeoverthehill.Kay barksafew orderstothem.

2NDINS AGENT Whatin thehellis goingon?!

KAY

liesright-- here.Payattention.

Heholdsup theneuralyzer.TheAgentspeercloselyatit. Kayreaches intohispocket,putson hisownblacksunglasses--

--and pushesabuttononthe sideofthe neuralyzer.ABLINDINGFLASHa tenthofa secondlongsearstheAgents'eyeballs.Theystareblankly.

Behindhim,TONGUESOFFIREblastfroma flamethrowerheldbyone ofthe Menin Black.Kaylooksbackatthe INSAgents,whoarejust coming around,asifawakeningfroma concussion.

TheAgentslookaround,confused.

Kaygesturesbehindhim,wheretheMenin Blackarenowusingfire extinguisherstodousetheflamestheythemselvesstarted.

Hejabsa fingerintoJanus'chest.

Deehasmovedaway fromthemalland issittingona rock,staringupat thenightsky,his sunglassesdanglingidlyfromonehand.Kaystepsaway fromthegroupand findshim.Hesitsdown nexttohim.

Heholdsup hishands,whichtremblewithage.

Helooksup, atthemillionstarsshiningoverhead.

Kaypullshisneuralyzerfromhispocketandlooksdownat it.

Ashot oftheclockon theStation'sstatelysouthernexposure.WEPAN DOWNTO...

Apair offeetrunning.Theybelongtoa manwe willknowas the PERPETRATOR.Aswetrackwithhim,heSPEEDSUP andOUTOF FRAME.

Anew setof feetcomeintoframe.ThesebelongtoJAMESEDWARDS,aNYC COPin undercoverstreetclothes.IntheBACKGROUND,abouttenfeet behind,aretwoothercops,tryingtokeep up.

Edwardsisa lotfaster,though.Hepullsouthisbadgethat hangsfroma chainunderhisshirt.

Hecontinuesrunning,outofframe,andwe stayonone oftheotherCOPS, overweight,whogivesupthechaseanddropsto hisknees,heavingair.

TheCopfumblesin hispocketfora packofcigarettes.

TRACKWITHEDWARDSANDTHEPERP

Astheyrun downthebridgethattraversesParkAvenueinthelow Forties. ThePerpveersto theleftand,seeminglyoblivioustothefactthatit's athirty-footdrop,hehurdlestheguardrail,anddropsto Forty-first Streetbelow.

EDWARDSissurprisedbythismaneuver,butdoesn'twasteasecond.He, too,hurdlestheguardrailandlandson...

ADOUBLE-DECKERBUS,oneofthosecheesysightseersthatholdupmidtown traffic.Thebus,ofcourse,iscompletelyfilledwithJAPANESETOURISTS, andit seemslikeeverysingleoneofthem hasa videocamera.

EDWARDSpushesthroughthecrowd...

Withthebus stillmoving,hescramblesdownthecircularstairsandruns outthroughthesidedoor.

Hespotsthe Perp,sailingeastonForty-firstStreet.

EdwardsspotsoneofthoseNew YorkPostdeliverytrucks,thekindwith theopenbackdoor,rumblingby. He runsandjumpsintothe back.

THEPERP,meanwhile,isrunningattopspeed,whenEdwardsglidesinto frame,leaningoffthebackof thetruck.

Heleapsfromthe backofthe movingtruckandtacklesthePerp.

ThePerp,nowstraddledbyEdwards,isterrified.

Edwardsisabouttoslap thecuffsonhim, whenthePerpblinks.Nothing unusualaboutthat,butthenanothersetoftranslucent,milkywhite eyelids,underneathhisregulareyelids,blinksalso.

Edwardsisthrownfora moment,whichisallthe timethePerpneedsto pullout...

HisWEAPON,whichisthe strangestlookinggunyou'veeverseen.Reacting quickly,Edwardsbatsitoutofthe Perp'shand.

THEWEAPONsmashesintothestonewallsurroundingCentralParkand SHATTERSintoamillionpieces.

WHOMP!ThePerpkickshimin thenuts,thenscramblestohis feetand takesoffagain.Edwardsstaggersafterhim,inpain.

ThePerpleapsovera movingcar,towardstheGUGGENHEIMMUSEUM.Edwards triestofollow,buta buspullsin frontofhim.Afterit passes,the Perpisgone.

Edwardsrunsovertothe Museum,leansoverthewallthatsurroundsit, andin thenextinstant...

ThePerpfliespasthim, havingleaptfromtwentyfeetdowntothe topof theGuggenheim.Hescramblesupandovertheledge.

Edwardreacts.Herunstothe frontdoorofthe Museum,shootsitopenand runsinside.

Herunsfrom therotundaupthegrandramp oftheGuggenheim.

Onthe roof,thePERPreachesthetop,climbsoverthe edge,andCRUNCHES tothe gravelsurface.Heleapstohisfeetand racesovertoa door.It's locked.

Hetugson another.It'slockedtoo.Hepullson athird.It swingsopen--

--revealingEDWARDSontheotherside,breathinghard.Heaimshisweapon atthe Perp.

ThePerpSCREAMSinhumanlyandpanics.Hebackpedals,towardtheedgeof theroof.

ButthePerp hasbackedrightintotheedgeof theroof,and nowhestarts tofallover.The Perpblinks.

ThePerplooksdown.He decides.

--and hefalls,SCREAMING,tohisdeath.

EDWARDSsitsononeside ofthetable,a POLICEINSPECTORandaUNIFORMED SERGEANT(theonewhogaveup thechaseandlit acigaretteearlier),sit acrossfromhim.

Awomansneaksintothe room.DOCTORLAURELWEAVER,thirtyish, dark-haired,dark-eyed,generalauraofdarknessaroundher,standsabove

him.Laurellookslikeshewas justdraggedoutofbed (whichshewas)and sawa spaceman(whichshedid).She looksoverhershoulderonce,then whisperstohim.

Shehurriestoturnthe corner,butisSTOPPEDbysomeonewhoremainsjust offscreen.

VOICE(O.S.) Dr.Weaver,fromthecoroner'soffice? WorkingontheJohn Doe?

Edwardstwistsinhischair,toget abetterlook.All heseesis Laurel, facingwhoeveritisin thehallway.

VOICE(O.S.) Wouldyoulookrighthere,please.

TheSomeonesayssomethingelseandLaurelstepsforward,nowalsooutof Edwards'slineofvision.

Edwardsstretchesevenfurtherinhisseat,whenthereisa blindingFLASH fromthecorridor.Reallycuriousnow,hestartstogetup --

--whenKAY stepsintotheroomand closesthedoorbehindhim.Edwards rollshiseyes.

Hecrossestothe door.

Edwardsstops.

Atthatpoint,the INSPECTORstickshisheadin,smilesandgivesEdwards thethumbsup.

EdwardslooksattheInspector,thenatKay.As theyleave.

Ina plain,boxyFord,Kaydrives,silent.Heraiseshishandand nodsto ablackMIB truckcomingintheoppositedirection.Edwards,inthe passengerseat,isstillinhisundercoveroutfit.

Kaysaysnothing.

Kayremainsutterlysilent.

Kaypullsthecar toa stop.

Kayopensthedoor andgetsoutof thecar.Edwardsfollows.

Edwardslooksaround.Seesthey'restandinginfrontofaPAWNSHOP.

Theygetout ofthecar.

JACKJEEBSisthe sleazy,sarcasticproprietorofthePawnShop.He'snot easilyintimidated.

HecasuallybrushessomeRolexesoffthecounter.

ThispissesEdwardsoff.HegrabsJeebsby thecollar.

Atthe soundofKay'svoice,Jeebssuddenlypales,alookof fearcoming overhisface.

Hepullshis owngunand aimsitat Jeebs'forehead.

Edwards,seeingthatKayisgettingsomewhere,joinsintheroutine.

KA-BOOM!KayblowsJeebs'headoffandJeebs'bodycollapsestothefloor. Edwardsisshocked.

Edwardspullshisownweaponandpointsit atKay'shead.

EdwardswhirlsaroundtoseeJeebs'BODY,growinganotherhead.Onlytakes fourorfive seconds.KaycalmlyshoveshisgunupagainstJeebs' baby-softnewcheek.

Jeebs,panicked,hitsabuttonontheundersideofthe counter,which promptlyflipsover,revealingyetanotherdustyshelf,piledhighwith junk--

--but thisisall alienjunk.Weapons,mostly,bizarre,otherworldly weaponsofallshapesandsizes.

Edwards,stilldazedbyJeebs'regrownhead,glancesdownatallthe weapons.

Kaylooksat Jeebs,pissedoff.

Kayraisestheweaponagain,threatening.

Kaylowershisgun,gesturestothe shelffullofweapons.

Jeebsnods,pointtaken.Kayleaves.

Shaken,Edwardsfollows.

Edwardsstaggersoutoftheshop,tryingtoget theday'seventsstraight inhis head.

moments--asif thisparticularneuralyzationisdifferentthanallthe others.

Thenheputs onhissunglasses.

--the flashdimsonEDWARDSandKAY,sittingat atablein aChinese restaurant.

Hebustsout laughing.Edwards,acrossfromhim,iscompletely disoriented.Helooksdown.There'sahalf-eatenorderofbroccolibeef andseveralemptybottlesofbeeron thetableinfrontof him.

Kaycheckshiswatch.

Heturnsand walksout.Edwardscheckshiswatch.AWAITRESSappears.

Shewalksoff.Edwardslooksatthe table.Thereisa businesscardlying nexttohis plate,onwhichKayhas handwritten"JamesD.Edwards, Saturday,9a.m.,504BatteryDrive."

Edwardslooksatit,puzzled.Heturnsthe cardoverandlooksat the otherside.There'snotmuchthere,noname,no phoneorfax number,no e-mailaddress.Justthreelittleletters,deadinthemiddleofthecard:

MIB

AlonelyfarmhousestandsamidthefieldsofupstateNewYorkfarm country.Severallightsareonandthroughawindowwe canseethe silhouetteofaMANsittingat thekitchentable,thesilhouetteofa WOMANhoveringoverhim,bringingthingstohim.

TheMan(EDGAR)waveshisarms,ranting.

Inthe skyabove,it'soneof thosebrilliantstarfields.Butsomething strangeishappeningwithoneofthosestars-- it'sgettingbigger.

No,thatstarisn'tgettingbigger,it'smoving.Towardus.Fast.Itgoes froma pinpointtoadime,to anickel,to aquarter,andworksitsway intofruitmetaphors.

Okay,we'rewaypastwatermelonnow,thatthingishuge,and it'sstarting toglowhot redas itenterstheearth'satmosphere,headedstraight towardus,cominghere,toBeatriceandEdgar'splace.

Theblazingfireballbarrelsthroughthesky,SNAPSoffacoupletrees--

--and SLAMSrightthroughapickuptruckparkedinthedriveway.A concussiveBLASTfollows,thenageyserofsmokeandflameerupts.

ThesilhouetteofEdgarleapstoits feet,racestothedoor,and throws itopen.Edgaris everythinghisvoiceledusto expect--a nasty, bug-eyedredneckcarryingatwelve-gaugeshotgun.Hismouthagape,he walksacrosstheyardandstaresat thehulkingshellthatwashis truck. Theskeletonofthetruckis stillthere,butthere'sahuge,smoldering holeinit, ahole thatgoesatleastten feetdownintothe ground.

Hewalksto thetruckandtouchesthedoor handle.Hot.Usinghisshirt tail,heopensthe doorandpeersdownintothe hole.

INTHE HOLE,heseesa smoothcurveofmetaland afew blinkinglights. Embeddedintothegroundis,indeed,aspaceship,maybeeightfeetacross.

BEATRICEcallsfrombehindhim,standinginthedoorwayfearfully.

Beatricedoesasshe'stold,closingthedoorbehindher.Edgarturnsback tothe smolderingrock,raisinghisshotgunindefense.ANOTHERWORLDLY VOICEcomesfromdeepin thehole.

VOICE(O.S.) Placeprojectileweapononground.

Edgarstaggersbackastep,terrified.Butthenheregainshimself,raises theweapon,andstepsforward,pointingitmenacinglydownintothehole.

Thereisa pausewhilethevoicethinksaboutthisoffer.Finally,it responds,inavoiceand cadenceremarkablysimilartoEdgar's.

VOICE(O.S.) Yourproposalisacceptable.

Along,hairypincerflashesoutof thehole,grabsEdgarby thehead,and pullshimdownintothe hole.

Fromdeepin thehole,wehear aterribleRIPPINGsound,likeabedsheet beingtorninhalf.Thereare somedisgustingGUSHYsounds,thenamoment later,somethingfliesoutoftheholeand FLOPSontothegroundnextto thetruck.

It'sEdgar.Well,sortof.His bodypartsstillhangtogether--face, arms,legs,evenclothes--buteverythinginsidehasbeenremovedandnow hejustlies there,flatandempty,likea tuxedoonthefloorafterthe prom.

Theshotgunfliesoutandlandsbesidehim.

BEATRICEsitsatthekitchentable,terrified,stillwipingawaytears fromEdgar'sdiatribe.ThedooropensandEDGARcomesbackintothe kitchen,seeminglyfleshedoutagain,leavingthedoorhangingopenbehind him.Hecarriestheshotgun.

Shelooksup athim,anxious.Buthisface isa blank.

Helooksat herstrangely.Whenhespeaks,hisvoiceisdifferentthan before.Morerefined.

Pause.Shelooksoutthe window,atthesmokingtruck.

Puzzled,Beatricegetsup,goestothecabinet,andgrabsa bagof sugar. Sheholdsit outtohim.

Frightened,shetakesaglassofwaterfromthe table.Shedumpssomeof thesugarintoit.

Sheputsmore,tillthe glassisbrimming.Shestirsitquicklywitha knifeandhandsit tohim,her handtrembling.

Edgartakesitand downsitin asinglegulp.BeatricestaresatEdgar,no ideawhatto think.Shenoticessomethingoddabouttheskinonhisneck.

Edgardropstheglassandlooksin a window,tocatchhisreflection.He reachesup--

--and twistshiswholeface,asif adjustingaskimask,thentucksthe skinofhis neckbackintohis shirtcollar.He looksather.

Beatricefaints.

spaceship.

Thenoseof theshipitselfrisesup outofthe pit,wavers,keepsmoving, andfinallyCRUNCHEStothegroundoutsidethepit.

EDGARclimbsoutofthe pit,breathingheavily.Hedustshimselfoffand continuespushingtheship,alongtheground,offintothedarkness.

Thenextmorning.EDWARDS,holdingthesmallMIBbusinesscardinhis hand,comparestheaddresswrittendownbyKaytothe addressonthe utterlynondescriptbuildinginfrontofhim.It'ssevenstorieshigh, gray,windowless,perfectlysquare,squattingonabridgeoveraroadlike afat guyon thejohn.

"504 BatteryDrive."

EDWARDSstepsthroughaheavilybarredmetaldoorandintolong,bizarre room.Onewallis entirelydominatedbytheenormousbladesofatunnel ventairintake.Thereisan elevatoratthefar endofthe roomandan OLDSECURITYGUARD,therent-a-copkind,readingacomicbookona folding metalchairhalfwayacross.

Edwardswalksacrosstheroom,hisfootstepsECHOING.TheGuardlooksup.

Andhe goesbacktohis comicbook.Edwards,maybeoutofnothingmore thancuriosityatthispoint,walksacrosstheroom,towardtheelevator. Ashe drawsclose,theelevatordoorsWHOOSHopen,expectinghim.

"call"buttonandwaits,buttheelevatordoesn'tmove.Instead,doorson theothersideof theelevatorslideopensilentlybehindhim.Edwards waits,unaware.

Frombehindhim,somebodyclearstheirthroat.Edwardsturnsaround,and findshimselfstandingin--

Thisbackroomis everybitas mysteriousandunfamiliarastheentryway. Standingatthefrontof theroomis ZED,awire-hairedcareerG-man,an oldschoolbureaucrat,wearingtheexactsamekindofsuitKayhad onlast night.SIXOTHERHOTRECRUITSsitin egg-shapedchairs,staringat Edwards.

Onechairis empty.

continuesaddressingtheRecruits.

Theyallturnand regardEdwardsalittlesmugly.Hegivesitback.

Edwards'shandis,indeed,up.

Silence.Thenoneofthe youngrecruitseagerlyraiseshishand.Zedcalls onhim.

Edwardstriestostiflealaugh,but can't.

Shortpause.ThenZedcontinues.

Therecruitsscribbleawayatthewrittentest.It'sa thickdocument-- reasoningskills,generalknowledge,diagrams.TheRECRUITSseemtobe reallypoweringthroughit,fillinginanswerafteranswer.

Butno deskshavebeenprovidedforthem,andthey'reallstillin their chairs,writinguncomfortablyontheirthighsorknees.

EDWARDSisreallystruggling.Hewritestwowordsononeanswer,then decidestoeraseit.The lackofa writingsurfaceisdrivinghimcrazy; hispencilevenTEARSthroughthepage.

Helooksup. Inthemiddleof thetilefloor,thereis anunusedtable. Edwardsgetsup,goesto it,grabshold--

--and dragsit,SCREECHINGDEAFENINGLY,backtohischair.Everybody looksup,wincingatthe horriblesoundthatfillstheroom.

Edwardssitsbackdown,nowwritingonthe table.That'sbetter.

Zedraisesaneyebrow.Hestaresat Edwards,thenlooksup,towarda smokedglasswindow.Behindthedarkglass,aFIGUREstands,staring, unemotional.

SEVENWEAPONSrestona tableinthe middleofanotherwiseempty, triangularroom.TheSEVENRECRUITSstandinfrontofthetable.

There'sanoddmoment-- whereeveryonesortoflooksaround:ateach other,attheblankwalls...

Andthen.. suddenly--

Thetwofar wallspullapart.Thewholeroompulsatesandtheair is suddenlyfilledwithabewilderingswirlofstroboscopicimages,both humanandalien.Everywhereiscolor,lightandmovement--aholographic massofstrangeshapesandcharactersmovingsimultaneously.

TheRecruitslungefortheweapons,snappingthemupandtakingaim.SIX SHOTSarefiredat once.Andthen,a secondlater,aSEVENTHSHOTis fired.EveryonesortoflooksatEdwards,whoputshis gundownlast.

There'sanawkwardsilence.Thenthedooropens.Lightpoursin,andZED withit.Eventhe highlycompetitivecadetscan'thelpbutfeelsome sympathyasZedwalksstraighttoEdwards.

Zedlooksintothe gallery.Mostobviousinthefrozentableauof creaturesisalunging,snarlingbeast,whichhasthreebulletholesin itschest.Nextto itis amassivelydeformedhumanoidcreaturewitha largehookfora head,whichalsohasthreeholesin it.In theback cornerofthegallery,thereisa singlebulletholeina pretty eight-year-oldgirl.

Sidewaysglancesfromtheotherrecruits.Zedsighs.

ZEDandKAY standbehindsmokedglass,staringattheRECRUITS,whoare stillinthe shootinggallery,waitingforadecision.

Zedturnsandwalksaway.Kay staresthroughtheglass,atEDWARDS,who standsaloneononeside oftheroom,apartfrom therestof thegroup.

Zedreappearsontheothersideof theglass,comingthroughadoorand intotheshootinggallery.Ashetalks,Kayturnsand walksoff.

TheRECRUITSfollowZEDoutof theshootinggalleryandintoalong hallway.Zedmotionsthemofftothe left.EDWARDSisthelastone outof theroom,buthe stopsashe stepsintothehallway.

KAYis outsidethedoor,waitingforhim.Edwardsrecognizeshimfromlast night.

TheotherrecruitscontinuedownthehallwithZed.Kaydoesn'tanswer, justgesturestoEdwardstofollowhimdownthe hall,whichhedoes.

Astheypass analcove,EdwardsnoticesthesixotherRecruits,whohave beenherdedintoa corner.Zed,addressingthem,pullsaneuralyzerfrom hispocket.

Heholdsa neuralyzerupinfrontof them,andtheRecruitsstare obedientlyatitasZed slipsona pairof blacksunglasses.

Edwardsstares,fascinated,butKay'shandreachesinandyankshimaway, justasZed'sneuralyzerFLASHESWHITE.

AsKAY leadsEDWARDSdownanimpossiblylongcorridor,hehandshimafile folderstuffedthickwitheightbytenphotographs.

HehandsJay thefirstpicture,ashotof eightornineMEN inplainblack suitsstandingaroundafifties-styleofficewithmetaldesksand fluorescentlights.DEEandZEDarethere,muchyounger.

March2nd,1961,outsideNew YorkCity.

Anotherphotograph,agrainyblackandwhiteimageoftwoshipshovering inthe nightsky--classicflyingsaucershapes.

kidwho gotloston thewrongbackroad.

Yetanotherphotograph,thisoneshowingayoungKAY,ina shirtandtie, holdingabouquetofflowers,staringattheopendoor ofthelanded flyingsaucer.ALIENSHAPESarevisiblewithin.

KaysteersEdwardstotheright,downanothercorridor,justaslongas thefirst.

Anotherpicture,thisoneofthe1964World'sFairgrounds,stillunder construction.GiantmodelsofrocketsmarktheFair'sthemeofspace travel;mostprominentintheconstructionaretwotalltowers,withthe flyingsaucersnowmountedatthetopof each.

Theyhavestoppednexttoan unmarkeddoor.Kaythrowsitopenand steps inside.

AsKay walksintothekitchenette,Edwards'jawdrops,hiseyeswiden,and hestaresin wonderment--

--at THREEWORM-LIKEALIENSstandingaroundawatercooler.Tall, impossiblythin,mostcertainlynotfromNewYork,thealiensholdan animatedconversationinalanguagethatseemslikeacombinationof Esperantoandmicrophonefeedback.

Oneof theWormAliensanswershimintheirnativetongueandpointsto thecounter.

Hefindsthe creamsittingoutonthecounterwherethealienindicated, dumpssomeinhis coffee,andcomesbackoutside,closingthedoorbehind him.Hereachesup andgentlypushesEdwards'jawup,closinghismouth.

EDWARDS,thrownforamajorloop,sitslikea zombiealongsideKAYona benchinBatteryPark.Kaydrinkshiscoffeewhiletheytalk.

aliensaredecentenough,justtryingto makea living.

Almostnighttimenow,andtheparkisempty.EDWARDSisstillon the bench.Andstillthinking.Abovehim,thestarsarecomingout.

Slowly,helooksup,intothe vastnessoftheheavens.

Thenextmorning.Adoor opensona garageandanORKINMAN stepsinside, carryingatankof toxicgas.Themorninglightspillsonan abundanceof spiders,crawlingeverywhere--bigones,smallones,hundredsofthem havemovedinand takenoverthisdustyplace.

TheOrkinMansighsand setsdownhistank.

Heunfurlsa hosefromthesideof thetank.

Heraisesa masktohis faceandunscrewsthehandleonthe topof the tank.LETHALGASstartstoHISSfrom theendof thehose.

VOICE(O.S.) Justwhatexactlydoyou thinkyou'redoing?

TheOrkinManturnsaround.EDGARstandsinthe doorwaytothegarage, staringathimdisdainfully.

Edgaradvancesonhim,slowly.

Edgarlashesoutquickly,jerkingthemaskofftheOrkinMan'sfacewith onehand--

--and shovingthegashosedownhis throatwiththeother.

THEORKINMAN'SCARKEYS droptothe garagefloor,andEdgarpicksthem up.

Asix-by-tensheetofplywoodTHUDStothe drivewayoutsidethegarage. EDGARraisesoneendof itso it'shangingoffthebackend ofthe Orkin man'svan-- nowit'sa ramp.

Hewalksoff andwehear thatfamiliarSCRAPINGsoundagain.Edgar, GRUNTINGwiththeeffort,slowlypusheshisspaceshipuptherampandinto thebackof theOrkintruck.

EDWARDSstandsinthemiddleofthe tunnelventroom,thesameone he firstcameintoyesterday.TheelevatordoorsopenandKAY,obviously summonedbytheOLDSECURITYGUARD,standswaitingforhim.

EdwardswalksbrisklyforwardandgetsintheelevatorwithKay.

Insidetheelevator,thedoorsWHOOSHshut,KAYturnsakey ina certain floornumber,andthedescentbegins.EDWARDScontinues.

Theelevatordoors--

--slideopenon Menin Blackheadquarters.

It'sunlikeanythingwe'veeverseen--huge,multileveled,ofsixties design,polishedsteelandglass.Theworkplacesaresleekand uncluttered,mannedbybothHUMANSandALIENS.MostoftheAliensstayin thebackground,liketheUPSIDE-DOWNGUYwhowalksontheceiling, shufflingpapers.

KAYandEDWARDSstepoff theelevatorandontoa platformthatlooksout overthewholeplace. Kayleadshimdown intothecomplex.First,theywalkpasta sortof passportcontrolcenter,whereahumanBUREAUCRATatadeskischecking thedocumentsofa lineofALIENSwho'vejustarrived.Therearea dozen bizarrelifeformsinthatline,CHATTINGinhalfa dozendifferentalien tongues.

Edwardsslowsastheypass,listeningtothePASSPORTCONTROLOFFICERas headdressesanARQUILLIAN,alarge,humanoidvisitor.

Edwardsjuststares,fascinated,butKaygrabshimbythearmand hurries himalong.

Kaymoveshiminto thecentralhall.

ATA STORAGECAGE,Kayturnsa keyinthe lockofa caged-inareaand throwsthedooropen.Inside,therearepilesof sophisticated-looking devicesstackedonshelvesandtabletops.

Heholdsup acylindricalmetaltubeanda smallwireclipthatlookslike alapelmicrophone.

Edwardspicksupa smallyellowballfromoneof theshelves.

THEBALLZINGSOUT OFEDWARDS'HANDS--it fliesoutintothemain complex --hitsthe ceilingandricochetsaroundtheroom,fasterthantheeyecan follow--

VARIOUSSHOTSOFHUMANSANDALIENSducking,dodging,andjumpingoutof itsway.

ONKAY ashe calmly,alittlewearily,slipsanodd-lookingmetalglove overhisrighthand...

Heraiseshishand andtheyellowballzingsintoit --Kay catchesthe ball,calmly.

Theyleavetheroom.

ONTHE MAINFLOOR,theywalkbrisklyacrosstheroom,reachingagiant screenonthefar wall.

Thescreendisplaysamapof theworldon whichthousandsoftinylights blinkinall partsoftheglobe,log linesofdataflashingnexttothem.

Hehitsa buttononthe consoleandthemapis replacedbyhundredsof boxes,eachwithsmallervideoimages.

ONTHE SCREENS,weseeliveimagesofaliens.Alienswholookalienare in spotswheretheycan'tbeseen. Alienswholook humanarefunctioning rightoutin public--includingSAMDONALDSON.MICHAELJACKSON.AndTONY ROBBINS.

Kaygesturestotwosmall,bonyCREATURESwitheightarmseachand a singleeyegrowingoutofa centralstalkintheirheads.Theyturnaround andwavetwo orthreearmseach.

Edwards,stunned,looksatKayas4-Eyesbootsherontothe screen:Mean face,catglasses.Bonyfingers.Extremelywell-hiddentail.

Withtheirremainingarms,theypunchbuttonafterbuttonontheenormous console.ZED,whowasstandingupcloseto thescreen,walksoverto Edwards,sizinghimup.

Liketherestof theplace,theMIB lockerroomisall white.Whitewalls, whitefloor,whiteceiling,whitelockers.ZED'SVOICEcomesover:

EDWARDSreachesoutandopensawhitelocker,revealingaBLACKSUIThung froma hangerinthemiddle.Aboveit,on theshelf,a BLACKHATanda pairofBLACKSUNGLASSES.Onthebottom,a pairofSHINYBLACKSHOES.

KAYis ata computerterminal.OnscreenareEdwards'sbirthcertificate, driver'slicense,socialsecuritycard,librarycard,everything.ZED'S VOICEcontinues:

EDWARDSstandsinacrampedwhitebooth.

Heholdsbothhis handsona TEN-FINGEREDKEYPAD,pressingdownhard.The padglowsred,a SEARINGsoundcomesfromhishands,andhe grimacesas morelasersinstantlyand(notatall)painlesslychangehisfingerprints.

Oneby one,KAYdeletesEdwards'sidentitycards.

Onthe computerscreenisEdwards'fullname--JAMESDARRELEDWARDSIII. Kaypunchesacouplekeys,and thecursorbeginstosweepfromrightto left,startingtoeliminatetherightmostlettersofEdwards'sname.

Pantscomeoffthe hanger.Thewhiteshirtisremoved.

Morelettersareeliminatedfromhisname.Itreads"JAMESDARRELED..." then"JAMESDARR..."

Thecoatis removed.Thehatcomesoffthe shelf.

ZED(O.S.)

tongue.

"JAMES...""JAM..."

Feetslipintoblackshoes.A beltisbuckled.A tiepushedup.

Onscreen,allthat'sleftis theletter"J."

Asthe coatisbuttoned,wenoticethesleeve.Monogrammedonthecuffis, simply,theletter"J."

Lookingslickandhandsomeinhisextremelysharpsuit,JAMESDEDWARDS III-- or,rather,JAY--stepsinto thedoorwayfromthelockerroom.He reachesintohispocket,takesoutthesunglasses,andlooksatKAY.

Heslipson thesunglasses.

Weare lookingatatelephotoshotofManhattaninall itssplendor.

Wesee theOrkinvantoppinga hill,headingtowardsManhattan.

Zed'sofficeisa circular,windowedroomelevatedabovethemainfloorof MIBheadquarters.JAYandKAYsitacrossthedeskfrom Zed.Therearefive videomonitorsonawall behindZed'sdesk,andoneachmonitoris another Manin Black,indifferentpartsoftheworld,thecityname anda clock tickingina corneroftheimage.

WhileZedtalks,hegoes throughpaperworkonhisdesk.

BEE,anagenton oneof themonitors,nods.

Heturnsa page,comingacrossared memo.

Nexttohim, hiscomputerscreenBEEPSimportantly.Zedlooksoveratit.

JAYandKAY comeoutthe frontofMIBheadquarters.

AnMIB MECHANICpullsupinKay'sblackLTDand hopsout,leavingthedoor open.Jaysizesup thecar.

KayglaresatJay. He'sgettingannoyed.

Theygetin andslamthe doors.Kaystartsthecarand theengineHUMS quietly.

Kaygritshisteeth.

Kayshiftsthecar intoreverse.Theawesomepowerofthecarkicksin and Jaysailsforward,THWACKINGintothedash.Kayshiftsintoforwardand tapsthegas,SLAMMINGJaybackinto hisseat.

ALIGHTEDPANELrotatesintoplacebetweenthetwofrontseats. Jay's handfallsbyaccidentona flashingredbuttoninthe panel.

Jayjerkshishand away.

TheLTDis nowstoppedbythe sideofthe road,dustswirlingaroundit. Aheadofit, anothercarhaspulledover.KAYgetsout,JAY followsa momentlater,shaky-legged.Kaywalksuptothewindowofthecar they've stopped.TheDRIVER,aguyin hismid-thirtieswithaWIFEinher mid-thirties,rollsthewindowdown.

TheDriverhandsoversomedocuments.Kayflipsthroughthem.

Theguydigs outtwoothercardsand handsthoseover.Jaypeersover Kay'sshoulder.

Thephotographsonthe"RESIDENTALIENID"cardsareoftwo friendly-lookingreptiletypes,husbandandwife,smilingatthecamera, theirlong,skinnytonguesdanglinginafriendlysortofway.

Kayhandsthemback.

Kayleansdownand looksinthewindow.MRS.REDGICKisin front,MOANING inpain,holdingherswollenbelly.Kaystraightensup,fast.

Mrs.RedgickSCREAMSinpain.Realsoon.Forthe firsttimesincewe've seenhim,Kayis nervous.

Mrs.RedgickSCREAMSagain.Redgickgetsoutofthecar,worried.

KaygivesJaya supportiveSLAPonthebackand leadsRedgickaway,tothe rearofthe car.Jaystaysin thebackgroundandopensthereardoor, tentatively.Heleansdown,intothecar.

Afew yardsfromthecar,Kay turnsRedgicktofacehim.

SuddenlyaTENTACLEwhipsoutfrombetweenMrs.Redgick'slegs,CRACKSthe whiponce,andwrapsaroundthedoor post,grabbinghold.

Nowa SECONDTENTACLEwhipsout,butthisonewrapsaroundJay'sneckand pullstight.HeGASPS,choking.

Hestartstuggingforallhe's worth,butthefightis sortofgoing againsthim,asthetentaclespullhimin evenharderthanhetriesto pullthebabyout.

RedgicklooksatKay,clearlyconcealingsomething,butdartshiseyes away.

Butin thatmoment,Jayfinallygetsafootup onthe doorframe,acquires leverage,andRIPSthebabyfree.He falls,flatonhisback inthedirt, themulti-tentacledlizardlikebabyrestingsquarelyonhischest.

KayturnsandclapsRedgickon theback.

Jaylooksdownat thecreatureCOOINGandnestlingonhischest.

Itvomitson him.

Backinthe car,JAYwipesthe lastofthe pukeoffhissuit whileKAY startsupthecar.

Jayjustlooksat him,veryJackBenny.

CLOSEONon varioussupermarkettabloidsasahandflipsthroughthem. Thereareheadlineslike"POPEAFATHER!"and"TOPDOCTORSBAFFLED--BABY BORNPREGNANT!"and"MANEATSOWNHOUSE!"(thesubheadonthatone is"And That'sJusttheAppetizer,SaysNeighbor.")

KAYandJAY areat adowntownnewsstand.Kayisfuriouslysearching throughthetabs;Jayis standingbehindhim,alittleembarrassed.

Kaypullsa copyofthe WeeklyWorldNewsfromthestandand givestheguy abuck.

HeSMACKSthepaperdown onthehood infrontof Jay,thepagesturned opentoa headlineintypefacesolargeonewouldthinkit reservedfor theSecondComing:

Farmwifesays "ALIENSTOLEMYHUSBAND'SSKIN!"

Aflap ofskin,nowgettinggrayand crustywithage,hangsoffEDGAR's neckashe sitsin thefrontofhis Orkinvan.Hesucksas hardas he possiblycanona strawstuckintoa JoltCola("DoubletheSugar!Triple theCaffeine!"),oneofasix-packthatsitson thedashboard.

Acrossthestreet,Edgarseesashort,olderman comeoutof oneofthe jewelryshopsonThirty-FifthStreet.Edgardropsthesodaandstares.

TheOlderMan(ROSENBERG),iscarryingacatand anornaterosewood jewelrybox.Carefully,hesetstheboxdownand lovinglyplacesthecat ontop ofit whilehelocksallfive locksonthedoor tohisdistinctive shop.

Thatfinished,hepicksupthe cat,thenthebox,then waddlesoffdown thestreet,oneundereacharm.

Edgardropsthetruckintogearand followshim,slowly,trollingalong behindhim.

ONTHE STREET,Rosenbergwalkshappilyalong,HUMMINGtohimself.Hegives hiscata littlepeck.Ashe roundsacorner,we recognizethetunehe's humming--"I'veGotthe WholeWorldInMy Hands."

TheOrkinvanroundsthe cornerbehindhim.Following.

TheLTDpullsto a stopatthe endofthe drivewaythatleadsto Beatrice'sfarmhouse,wherethealienshiplanded.Thewreckedpickup truckisstillthere.JAYand KAYgetout, veryundercovercop.Jaystarts upthe driveway.

BEATRICEappearsinthedoortothe house,curious.

Beatricecallstothem.

Beatricelooksmuchbetterthanthelasttimewe sawher-- morenicely dressed,atouchofmakeup,a smileonher face.

Kaypullsa blackcardfromhiswalletand extendsittoher asshedraws close.Asshereachesforit, thecardreformsintoan FBIbadge.

Inthe livingroom,KAYsipssomeof herlemonadeandwinces.JAYmoves throughtheroom,checkingitoutas BEATRICEtellsherstory.

AlittleGIGGLEescapesherat thethought.Jay,overbya bookcase, noticesaframedPHOTOOFEDGAR,kneelinginthe woods,proudlyaboutto skina deer.

Kaynods,putson hissunglasses.Takesoutanotherpair,handsthemto Jay.

Kaydrawshisneuralyzer.FLASH!Beatricefreezes,staringstraightahead asif hypnotized.KaytakesJay'sglassesoffandhandsthembacktohim.

KAYis inthehole wheretheshiplanded,investigating.Heholdsapocket

colors.Red.Then Yellow.

Thespectralanalyzerturnsblue.

Purple.Andthengreen.

Kaycloseshiseyesand sitsback,leaningagainstthedirt.Abovehim, JAYleansover,staringdown.Kaylooksup athim.

ATTHE CAR,Kaysnatchesuptheradiohandsetandkeys themicrophone.

Heturnsoff theradioandsighs.Jaystandsnextto him.

ROSENBERG,thejewelrystoreowner,stepsoutofacab inthemeat-packing district,stillcarryingtheornateboxandhisbelovedcat.Heheadsinto Leshko's,aRussiandiner.

Amomentlater,theOrkinvan pullstoa stopacrossthestreet.

ROSENBERGcomesintothetinyrestaurant,squintingintherelative darkness.Atatablein themiddle,heseesa maneatingalone-- an enormous,dignified,yetprofoundlystrange-lookingmaninhismid fifties.

Rosenbergwalkscarefullyovertothetable,butdoesnotsitdown.The man(anARQUILLIAN,andifwe'reeagle-eyed,werecognizehimasthealien ona "diplomaticmission"frompassportcontrol)risesfromhischair.He stepsforward,tofaceRosenberg,whosetstheornateboxon thetable. Immediately,ROSENBERG'SCATjumpsontopofit.

RosenbergandtheArquillianstareateachotherfora longmoment--

--and thenembraceeachother.Theembracehasanodd,formalqualityto it,likemafiosicomingtoa sitdown.Theyholdon,longand hard,and bothseemedchokedwithemotion.

Finally,theybreakapartandtaketheirseats.Theyspeakina bizarre alientongue,whichissubtitled.Rosenbergwipesawaytears.

TheArquillianrelaxes.

Inthe kitchen,theRussianCOOKslapstwoordersofpirogiupon the stainlesssteelcounter--

--and turnsaway,backtothe grill.

AHAND reachesin,takestheplates,andsetsthemon atray.We follow thetray,butsee onlytherightarm andapronedmidsectionofthewaiter carryingit.Hecarriesthetrayalongthe countertowardapairof swingingdoorsthatleadoutintotherestaurant.

Thedoorsswingin asanotherWAITERsweepsintothekitchen,andour waiterheadsoutintothediningarea.As thedoorsswingclosedbehind him,theyrevealstorageshelvescrammedwithbagsofrice,cansofstewed tomatoes--

--and aDEADWAITER,literallyfoldedinhalfandstuffedinamongthe shelves.

ROSENBERGandtheARQUILLIANraisetheirglassesinatoast.

TheyCLINKglassesanddrink,justasthe Waiterarrives.Still,wesee onlyhisarmsand midsectionashesetsthetray ona standandliftsthe platesofpirogi.Hecarriesthemto thetableandsetsthem down.

Rosenberg,settinghisglassdownnexttotheplate,catchesaglimpseof theWaiter'shand--

--justas anenormoussilverfishbugslithersoutofthewaiter'ssleeve andscurriesacrossthetable.Theglassslipsoutof Rosenberg'shand, dumpingwinealloverthetable.

Helooksup, slowly,andseestheWaiter'sface.

It'sEDGAR.Anotherhalfdozeninsectsofallvarietytumbleoutof Edgar'ssleevesandscurryacrossthetable.RosenbergandtheArquillian freeze,paralyzedwithfear.Theyseemtoknowwhatdireimplications Edgar'spresenceholds.

Edgarsmiles.

SuddenlyalongSTINGERwhipsoutfromunderthe backofEdgar'sapronand

forwardtheirchairs,theirfacescontortinginpain.

Theybothpitchforward,theirfacessloggingintofreshpirogi.

ThestingerSNAPSoutfromunderthe tableandwhipsbackunderEdgar's apron.Hemovesquickly,searchingtheirpockets,buthedoesn'tfindwhat he'slookingfor.Thecat,stillperchedontop ofthe ornatebox,HISSES athim.

EdgarreachesoutandBATSthe catawaywithone viciousswipeofhis hand.TheanimalHOWLSandfliesacrosstheroom,landingin aWOMAN's lunch.

TheWomanSCREAMS.NowotherDINERS'attentionisdrawntoEdgar'stable, wheretwoobviouslydeadmenarebeingrobbedby awaiter.Thereare SHOUTSofoutrage,afew MENriseoutof theirseats.

Edgargrabstheornateboxand triestoopenit, butfindsitlocked.With thefurorrisingaroundhim,heshovesthe boxunderonearm andboltsfor thedoor.

Rosenberg'scatleapsbackontothetableandSNARLSathim ashe goes.

Later,andtheRussiandinerisnow acrimescene,clusteredwithCOPSand flashinglights.THREEBODIES,nowonstretchersandcoveredwithsheets, arebeingloadedintotheback ofambulances.

ROSENBERG'SCATracesoutofa UNIFORMEDCOP'sarmsandleapsontooneof thestretchers,MEOWINGmournfully.TheUniformedCopturnstoaPOLICE INSPECTORwhoisquestioningtheWOMANfromthediner.

TheCopnods andfollowsthestretcherwithRosenberg'sbodyintotheback ofone oftheambulances,allowingthecattorideon thechestof its deadownerforthe timebeing.

Thedoorsof thewagonSLAMshut.

Thestretcherwiththecorpseonit iswheeleddowna corridorinpolice headquarters.ROSENBERG'SCAT,stillonhischest,MEOWScuriouslyasthe stretcherapproachestwodoorswith"CityMorgue"writtenacrossthem.The wordssplitinhalfas thestretcherBANGSthroughthedoors.

Thecitymorgueis acrowded,brightly-lit,tiledplacewithcorpses parkedleftandright.Busydayin theApple.TheCop wheelingthe stretchercallsouttotheCORONER,who'shunchedoveranotherbody.

Thecoronerturnsaround.It'sDR.LAURELWEAVER,thewomanwhotriedto speaktoJay before.Shesighsandwavesa hand.

Laurelsignshisclipboard.

Laurelgiveshima dirtylook,buthelaughsand leaves.Shegoesoverto thestretcherandbendsdown,pettingRosenberg'scatgently.

Shesetsthe catasideandwheelsthestretcherunderthelights.

Laurelishunchedoverthecorpse,theonlylightin theroomcomingfrom theoverheadspotthatilluminatesherwork.

Fascinatedbysomething,shedigsdeeper.Anddeeper.Andlooksup,her facea mixtureofalarmandexcitement.

Kay'sLTDpullsup infrontof themorgue.

Twomenin blacksuitshurrydownthestairsand intothecorridoroutside themorgue.Theyhastendownthehallway,theirshoesCLICKINGinperfect lockstep,headedforthoseswingingdoorsattheotherend.

JAYandKAY. MeninBlackon a mission.

Inthe morgue,LAURELhasfallenasleeponherdesk,herheadin herarms. ROSENBERG'SCATsitsonthedesknextto her,lickingitspaws.Suddenly, thecatlooksup, MEOWINGurgently.

Laurellooksupand,followingthecat'sgaze,turnsaroundslowlyinher chair.JAYandKAY standinthedoorway,staringather.Kay steps forward,holdingoutthatblackcardagain.Itreformsintoanotherkind ofofficialID,thistimeit says"DEPARTMENTOFPUBLICHEALTH"

as...well...asreally...

Shelooksup.Jay andKayare standingthere.

Hehandsher hisCARTENOIR,whichchangestoread"Dr.Menville, DepartmentofPublicHealth."Shehandsitback.

Shegetsup andgoesto theArquillian'sbody,whichisstilloutona tableunderthelights.

Shethrowsbacka sheet,revealing(tothemonly,notus)thefully dissectedArquillian.Kayraisesaneyebrow;Jaynearlyretches.

Kaystepspasther,goingstraighttothe body.Hebeginsto examineit.

JayandLaurelcrossthe room,towhereROSENBERG'scorpseliesouton anothergurney.

curvatureofthestomach--though,ifyou want,wecouldbeginat thegastro-esophageal junction.

Jayhearsa MEOWandlooksdown.Rosenberg'scatisrubbingupagainsthis leg.

SheSNAPSoneof herrubberglovesandreachesdown(outof frame), sinkingherhandsintothebodyas shemovesthingsaside.Justby the lookonJay'sface,one canimaginehowdisgustingitis.

Laureldigsin,up toherelbows.Jaywinces.Shepullsone bloodyglove out,towipe astrandof hairoutof herface.Helooksat her--

--and shewinksathim. He'ssurprised.Shelaughs.

Jayis reluctant,sosherollshereyesandhelpshim, takinghimbythe handandguidinghimintothe thickofthe corpse.

Laurellooksathimsideways,skeptical,butalsointrigued.Shewhispers tohim.Confidinginhim.

Jayjustlooksat herintrigued.

AfteraparticularlygrossGUSHYsound,helooksaway,towardher.She's staringathim.

Laurelleansoverandlowershervoice,justfor him.

Fromtheothersideof theroom,Kay CLEARSHISTHROAT.

Hewalksacrossthemorgueto Kay,whois stillexaminingtheArquillian. ButJaynevertakeshis eyesoffLaurel.

ACROSSTHEMORGUE,LaurelisstillexaminingRosenberg,nowbentdownnext tohis head,carefullystudyinghisleftear.Shenoticessomething strange,turns,andcallsoverhershouldertoJay.

Jay,inconversationwithKay,doesnotrespondtowhatis nothis name.

Hestilldoesn'tanswer.

KaynudgesJay.

Jayturnsandracesacrossthe roomtorejoinher.

Jayleansdown.Thereis strangestitchingaroundthebaseofRosenberg's ear.

Hereachesout,touchestheear,thenhe actuallyturnsit.Witha soft CLICK--

--it pullsawayfromthehead.Like alatch.

JayandLaurellookat eachother,astonished.Jaypullsagain,and Rosenberg'sentirefacePUSHESOUTwithamechanicalHUM,thenHINGES OPEN,thewholefacerotatingoutawayfromthe restofthe artificial skull.

ATINY LITTLEGREENMANSITSINSIDEROSENBERG'SHEAD.

Thoughnotquitedead,theTinyLittleGreenMan isgravelywounded.He staggersupoutof asmallcontrolroominsideRosenberg'shead,with gearshiftsandviewingscreensallaroundtheinsideoftheskull.

Theyleanin closer.TheTinyLittleGreenMan(aBALTIAN)forceswords outof hismouth.

TheBaltiannodsvigorously.That'sit.

TheBaltiannodsagain,falls,anddies.Jayand Laurellookatthelittle deadalien,thenateach other.

Kaybeginsover.Laurellooksatthem.

Jayshakeshishead-- butis nowpayingmoreattentiontoKay,as he leadshimtowardtheLittleMan.

Kaylooksat themess-- thebody,thelittledeadman.

KayandJay arenotpayingattentiontoLaurel.

FLASH!Withoutevenlookingather,Kaywhipsouthis neuralyzerand blanksherout.

FLASH!Heneuralyzesheragain.Jayslapshishand.

Heheadsout.Jay follows.

JayandKay exitthemorgueandwalk towardstheircar.

AnMIB containmentvehiclepullsup,andfourmendressedinblacksuits getout.

TheOrkinvanis parkedinan alleywaysomewheredowntown.Frominside,

andhesitate,wonderingiftheyshouldgetinvolved.

Butan inhumanGROWLrattlesthewholevanandtheywiseup, hurryingon theirway.

Insidethevan,theornaterosewoodboxis nowbatteredandscarred,its variouslocksholdingtightagainstEDGAR'srepeatedattemptstoclawhis wayintoit. Crammedintothebackofthe vanalongwithhis spaceship, Edgarwedgesascrewdriverintothethinopeningbetweenthetopandthe restofthe boxandSMACKSit withhisrightfist.Nothingdoing.

HeBELLOWSinrage andhurlsthebox againstthesideofthe van,whereit finallyCRACKSahinge.Edgarsnapsitup, priestherestof thehingeoff withthescrewdriver,andwrenchesthetopoffthebox.

Inside,therearedozensofprecious,glitteringdiamonds,whichhe promptlytossesasideasworthless.Buttherestofthebox isempty.

Heripsthe boxapartwithhis barehands.There'snothingelsethere.

AslowerManhattaniswakingup,Jay andKayenterthe building.

Despitetheearlyhour,theheadquartersisgoingfull-blast.Thelarge screendisplaysthefamiliargroupingofstarsthatistheCONSTELLATION ORION.

JayandKay hurryin-- Kaypeelsoffto oneof themonitors;Jayheads forZed.

Hepointsup atthescreenwitha laserpencil.

Heindicatesthethreestarsthatmakeup thebelt.

Jaystartstocrossover toANOTHERMONITOR,whereKayissittingalone, tieloosened,slightlydisheveled.Onthescreen,theword"SEARCHING" blinks,encouragingpatience.Theimagechangestoasatelliteviewof NorthAmerica,whichquicklyzoomsinontheSouthwest.

Onscreen,thesatelliteviewzoomsdowntoArizona,thena city,thena neighborhood,thenablock,thenabackyard.Theprintoutchangesto "SUBJECTACQUIRED."

Theimagecomesintosharpfocuson onebackyardin particular,wherewe geta goodlookat aMIDDLE-AGEDWOMAN.

SUBJECT:ELIZABETHANNRESTON PRESENTLOCATION:RESIDENCE 553FAIRFIELDAVE./TEMPE/AZ

WhoeverElizabethAnnRestonis,she'slovely.She'ssettingapicnic tableinher backyardatthe moment,unawarethatshe'sbeingwatchedby aneye inthesky --justas Kayis unawarethatJayisstandingbehind him.

JaynoticesthemonitorwiththeMiddle-agedWomanonit.He looksat Kay'sexpression,thenbackatthemonitor.

Kayclicksoffthe pictureofher.Jaydragsa chairandsitsdown.

Kaydoesn'tanswer,juststaresatthescreen.Elizabethlooksup,asif sheknowsshe'sbeingwatched,butshe'sjustlookingatthe sky, wonderinghowmanystars'llbeouttonight.

It'smorethanKay canbear.Hereachesoutand flicksaswitch.The monitorgoesblank,exceptforadatascreen:

SUBJECTLOST

Kaysitsbackin thechairand eatsapotatochipmorosely.Jaylooksat him:"Isthisme inthirtyyears?"A momentgoesby.Finally:

JayandKay crossbacktowardtheLAD(LandedAlienDisplay),whereeach ofthe thousandorsoAlienswholiveon eartharerepresentedbya flickeringLIGHT.

Somelightsarestartingtogo out.

Kaylooksto hispartner,thentothescreen.Anotherlightflickersout.

ONTHE SCREENNewYorkCityis justabrightspotof lightonthe Eastern coastofthe UnitedStates.

Nowthere'saview oftheearthfrom space.Nothingunusual.

Nowwe'relookingatearthfromfar, faraway-- andfromherewe cansee somethingthatdoesn'tbelonginthispicture:

ABATTLECRUISERfaroff tooneside oftheearth.The words"LEVELFOUR" flashinred lettersononesideof themap.

ACOMMUNICATIONSTARTSCOMINGOVERTHESPEAKERS--asoundlikea catand mousecaughtina blender.

Thecommunicationcontinues.

Thecommunicationcontinues.

KayandJay walkaway.

INTHE EQUIPMENTLOCKERKaypullsouttheENORMOUS,MANY-BARRELEDHAND GUN.A small,clear,canistersproutsfromunderneathit,malicious swirlinggasesvisiblethroughitswalls.

Kaypullsoutanotherweapon,theTINIESTGUNWE'VEEVERSEEN.

JayfollowsKayout,glancingbacktosee thehugegun turretsonthe ArquillianBattleCruiserHUMandWHIRastheyswingaroundintoposition, pointeddownattheunwittingplanetbelow.

SMASH!Thewindowinthe frontdoorofRosenberg'sjewelryshopcollapses ina showerofglass.EDGARreachesinand fumbleswiththelocks,undoing themoneby one.Hegets themallandstepsinside.Outthe windowbehind him,wecan seehisOrkinvan, doubleparkedinthestreetinfront.

Allthegems andjewelsareunderglasscounters.EdgarstartsSMASHING theglass,grabbinggreathandfulsofjewelsandtossingthemaside.

Outside,aNewYorkCity towtruckpullsupto thefrontof theOrkinvan andstartstohitchup.

Edgar,inhisrage,startsto smashanythingbreakable,eventheframed picturesonthewalls.Hestopsat oneparticularpicture,staring intentlyatit.It'sa glamorshotofRosenberg'scat,provocativelyposed ona satinpillow.Therearea halfdozenmorepicturesofthecat,some posedwithRosenberg,somebyitself.Thisanimalwasimportantto Rosenberg.

Fromoutside,theROARofan enginedistractsEdgar.Heturnsaround,in timetosee theOrkinvanlurchas thetow liftsitsfrontwheelsoffthe ground.

EDGARrushesoutsideasthetowtruckDRIVERgetsthe vanup onthehoist.

Edgarreachesintothefrontseatof thevanand pullsouthistwelve gauge.Hepointsitat thetow truckDriver.Thetowtruckdriverlooksat himwithdisdain,andpullingbackhisshirtrevealsa mean-lookinggun.

Hekeepshitchingupthe van.Twopedestrianswalkpastthedispute,very fast,ignoringthedebate,headedrightfortheshop.Wego withthem,and realizethatit's--

--JAY andKAY.Theystopat thesmasheddoorof thejewelryshopand exchangeaglance.Kaypullsa verymenacing-lookingweapon,nods,and theystepinside.

Theylookaroundandsee therecentdemolitioncausedbyEdgar.Jay furrowshisbrow.

Jaymovesbehindthecounter.Onthe floorisan ornate,emptybowlanda bagof catfood,nextto ascrumptiouspillow.ThereareseveralPHOTOSOF ACAT onthe wall.

Thereisalsoa pileof BEJEWELEDCATCOLLARS.Jaypicksuponeof the COLLARS,inspectsitclosely,shakinghishead.

Jay'sattentionisbrokenbysomethingthroughthewindow.Outside, lumberingstraightforthestore,isEDGAR.

Jaythinksfora moment--wheredoeshe knowthatface?

Suddenly,Edgarraiseshisarms,pointingboththefarmer'srifleandthe driver'sshotgun.BeforeEdgarcanshoot,JayYELLS...

AndthenJay FIRES,shatteringthestorefrontwindow,andBLOWINGUPACAR onthe street.Theblasthurlshimupand backa goodtenfeet,SLAMMING himintothe wallwithtremendousforce.Edgarturnsandrushesawaydown thestreetasJay pickshimselfup.

JayleapsthroughthebrokenstorefrontwindowandafterEdgar.

Kayrunsout afterJay.

Edgardoesn'tbotherstickingaroundtocontinuehisfight.Hejumps behindthewheelofthe towtruck,startsitup, andhitsthegas. The engineROARS.

Jaysprintsafterhim,FIRINGhisnoisycricket.Heis thrownbackinto somepedestrians,whilehisSHOT...

HitstheriggingbetweentheOrkinVanand thetowntruck,separatingthe two.Jaypullshimselfupand sprintsafterthetowtruck,butit acceleratestooquickly.

Edgarisjustaboutto turnthecornerwhenJay leapsontoa parkedCARto tryandget someheight.AsJaypreparestoshoot,EDGARDISAPPEARSAROUND THECORNER,anda HUGHTRUCKbacksintohisline offire.

JAYFIRES,theTRUCKEXPLODESandJayfliesBACKWARDS,hurtlingthrough theairand CRASHINGthroughthewindowofacar,his rearendrightin thewomandriver'sface.

WhenJaylooksup, Kayisstandingbeforehim.HeyanksJay outof the car.

Kaygesturestoa groupofONLOOKERS,drawnbythecuriousblastsfromthe store.There'ssmokingrubbleeverywhere.

Aftergesturingtothebackof theOrkinvan,whereEdgar'sspaceshipis neatlystowed,Kaypullsouthiscellphone.

BackatMen inBlackHeadquarters,thelittlelightsontheworldmap whichindicatealiens'locationsaregoingout,onebyone,aboutone everyfiveorten seconds.AWARNINGBUZZERissounding,overandover, andHUMANSTAFFERSarerushingleftandright.

ZEDis inhisoffice.

Zedlooksdownto thevastfloorbelowand seesthefourwormguys with suitcaseswalkingacrossthefloor.

Helooksup atthe screen.Itreads:

AsKay putsawayhisphone,turnsto Jay

ThetowtruckSQUEALSto ahaltat a curb.EDGARgets outandwalksaway, fast,CURSINGunderhisbreath.Herants,livid,thinkinghard.Ashe passesanewsstand,hegrabstheNEWSVENDORby thecollar.

Edgarshoveshimawayroughly.Butbeforeheleaves,hiseye catchesa postcarddisplaymarked"LANDMARKSOFTHENEWYORKCITYAREA."Edgar stares,fascinated,butwedon'tseewhathe'slookingat.Hereachesout andpicksup acolorpostcard.

Heraisesit tohisface,thinking,thenshovesitin hispocketand hurriesoff.

Kay'sLTDSCREECHEStoa haltinfrontof thekioskon OrchardStreet.JAY andKAYleap outandJay spotstheVENDOR,closinguptheshop.He's wearingadirtycardigan,watchcap,andfingerlessgloves,hisface aquiverwithticksandmannerisms.Hehasasmalldog infrontof him.

Jayrollshiseyes astheystepup tothe counter.

Avoiceanswershim,but nottheVendor's.

Jaylooksdown.Thevoiceis comingfromthedog.This isFRANKTHEPUG. Kayapproaches,motioningtoJaytomakesureno onehears.

KaygrabsFrank.Heyelpslike,well,a dog.

PASSERBYSglareatKay,whoappearstobe seriouslymistreatingthispoor littledog.Jaytriesto explain.

KayshakesFrankthePug,tryingto forceananswer.

a galaxy.Theythoughthewouldbesafe hereon earth.

KayshakesFrankthePug oncemore.

Ifa dogcan smirk,Frankdoes.

Kayletsgo ofFrank,turnsto Jay,whois lostinthought.

JaysuddenlynoticesFrankthePugbarkat acat fartherdownthe sidewalk.

Inthe morgue,LAURELisworkingatadesk whensuddenlyROSENBERG'SCAT leapsupontoit fromnowhere,thewaycatsdo, landingrightinthe middleofthefile she'sstudying.

Laureljumps.

Shepetsthe cat.Asshe does,thecat'scollarshinesinthelight. Laurelturnsthenametagto faceher.

CLOSEONA PRECIOUSJEWEL,ANDTHEWORD"ORION."

Asit iswrittenacrossthecollarofthe cat.

Fromoutin thecorridor,abellrings-- DING,DING.

Laurelnoticessomethingdanglingfromthecat'scollar--aCIRCULARICON ofa strangeandbeautifulmetal.Thecenterissomesortof hardened, translucentmaterial,lightgreenincolor.

Shepeersintothe jewel,andherfacewashesoverwithamazement.

It'sasif Laurelissuckedintoanotheruniverse.Herfacegoes beatificallyblankasshesailsthroughamassivestarfield,millionsof stars,billionsofgreen,verdantplanets,allracingbyheratthespeed oflight.

Outside,thebellDINGSagain.Orionlooksup,asif knowingwho'sout there,andnotlikingit.She SNARLSatthedoor andleapsoffthe desk, scurryingacrossthelabanddisappearingundersomeequipment.

JayandKay barrelthroughtown.

Ona counterinthemorguecorridor,agray,peelinghandBANGSon abell ona countertop,overandover.ThehandbelongstoEDGAR,whois carrying hisshotgun,concealingitbehindoneleg.Themorgueattendant,TONY, emergesfromasmallsecuritycagecarryingawornpaperbackcopyofAtlas Shruggedandafly swatter.

Suddenly,quickasagunfighter,TonySNAPStheflyswatterdownona BUZZINGFLY.Edgarwinces.

WHACK!Tonyflickstheflyswatteragain,sendinganotherbugtomeetits maker.Edgargritshisteeth.

WHACK!Stillanotherflygoesdown.

Tonylooksdown,towhereEdgar'shandsreston thecounter.Halfadozen cockroachesstreamoutofhissleeve.

Heducksunderthe counter--

--and comesupwitha canof Raid.Edgar'seyesbugout.

Kay'sLTDpullsto astopin frontofthe morgueandJAYand KAYjumpout.

Andhe continuesintothemorgue,leavingKaywaitingoutside.

LAURELSLAMSintoawall ononeside ofthemorgue,throwntherebyEDGAR. Heleansin, close,furious.

Hegrabsher roughlyanddragsheracrossthemorgue,towardtheequipment shepointedto.As theydrawclose,ORIONthecatboltsfrom underneath it,racesbetweentheirlegs,andleapfrogsoverseveralsmallcabinets, landingontopof avery tallonewithonlysix inchesclearancebetween itand theceiling.Averytoughhidingplace.

Edgarjuststartstoturnwhen theyheartheBELLand aVOICEfrom the corridoroutside.

Edgarlooksupat thecat'shidingplace.Notimeto getit. Thebell DINGSagain.

Roughly,EdgarpullsLaurelcloseandputsafingerto hislips-- "Shhhhhhh."

Inthe corridor,JAYlooksaround.NoTony,noanswertothe bell.He DINGSoncemore,thenheadsintothe back.

JAYcomesintothe morgue.LAURELisinthere,standingrightupnextto anexaminationtable,butthereisnocorpseon thetable,justa sheet drapedoverit.Shejust standsthere,inthemiddleofthe room,staring atJay.

Jaylooksat her.

Jayjustlooksat her,amazedatthe powerheseemsto haveoverthis woman.Helooksoverhis shoulder,tomakesurehehas afew moreseconds alone.

Laurelrollshereyes.Sheseemsirritatedwithhim,butit doesn'tgo withwhatshe'ssaying.

KAYcomesdownthe stairsandintothemorguecorridor.He checkshis watch,thenleansagainstthecounterandpullsouta packofcigarettes. Waiting.

Jayis thoroughlyenjoyinghimself,butLaurelseemstobegoingcrazy.

Shelooksdown,pointedly,inthedirectionofherwaist.

Sheleansin andlowershervoice.

Kaypullsouta boxof matchesandstrikesoneonthe side.Heraisesit tohis cigarette,butasitdrawsclose,thematchgoesout witha sharp SIZZLE.

Kayfurrowshisbrow.Odd.

Laurelisat theendof herrope.

Shepoints,sharply,attheexaminationtabledirectlyinfrontofher.

Jay'ssmilevanishesandhisjawdropsas hefiguresitout. He startsto reachforhisgun.

Kayraisesanotherlitmatchtohis cigarette,butasthisonegetsclose, aBIG GLOBOFGOO dropsfromtheceilingandontothe match,dousingthe flame.

Kaylooksup,sharply.

Abovehim,TONY,thecounterguy,is stucktoonehigh cornerofthe ceilingbyanenormouswadof viscous,drippingfluid.He'sdead,afrozen lookofterroron hisfaceand thecanof Raidstillclutchedinhishand.

Frominsidethemorgue,LaurelSCREAMS.

Kayracesintothe morguejustastheexaminationtableEXPLODESintothe air,revealingEDGAR,whowashidingbeneathit.

Noweverythinghappensatonce.Jayleapsbackanddrawsthe Noisy Cricket,Kaypullsouthisseriesfourdeatomizer,andEdgarholdshis shotgununderLaurel'schin,usingherbodytoshieldhisown.

ORIONthecatsuddenlyattacks,leapingoffthetopof thecabinetand landingonEdgar,HISSINGandscratchingandclawingforallshe'sworth. Edgarsnapsanarm upandwhipsher off.Thecat squirmsinhisarm,the iconjangling.Edgargrabstheicon,holdsontoit,andflingsthe cat away,acrossthemorgue.Theiconcomesfree,remaininginhishand.

Hedropsit intohismouthand swallows.Heshovesthegunhardagainst Laurel'scheek.

Kayfreezes,teethclenched,gunstillinfrontofhim.Standoff.

EdgarcranksoneofLaurel'sarmsbehindherback,hard,and sheCRIESOUT inpain.

EdgarbacksawaywithLaurel,furtherintothemorgue,towardaglass windowthatlooksoutat thebaseof anairshaft.Jay andKayadvance, slowly,corneringhim.

Andwiththathe turns,leaps--

--and CRASHESrightthroughthewindow,intotheairshaft.

EDGAR,stillclutchingLAUREL,EXPLODESupoverarailing.

NobodylookstwiceasEdgar,draggingLaurel(withhisarmoverher mouth),racestowardthenearbybusyManhattanStreet.

JayandKay duckintotheair shaftandlookup --too fartoclimb,and thewallsaresmoothanyway.

Theyturnandrun outof themorgue.

EDGAR,withLAUREL,RUNSrightinfrontof aCAB,whichscreechestoa haltinchesfromthem.TheCABBIEstickshisheadout andYELLSsomething inan unknownlanguage.AndKEEPSyellingas--

EdgarreachesthroughthepassengersideandpullstheCabbieoutthedoor (cigaretteandwoodenseat-beadsandall).

TheCabDriveris stillyellingasEdgarleapsin,pushingLaurelin beforehim,leavingherbehindthewheel.

Heremovesa POSTCARD--theonehe tookfromthedisplayon the newsstand.

Edgarjustcranksthecarinto gear--openinghismouthand swallowing theicon-- andin sodoingrevealingaTRIPLEROWOF SERRATEDBUG-TEETH, heSLAMSHIS FOOTonthe gaspedal.

Laurel'sheadsnapsbackasthecar rocksforward.Shehasnochoice,but tograbthe wheelandstartsteeringas--

Thecarscreechesoutintotraffic,swervingwildlyasLaurelisforcedto makea 90-degreeturn.Thecarfishtailswildly,swipinganoncomingcar asit straightensandheadsintothetraffic.

ThefuriousCabDriverrunsoffafterit, stillyellingashedisappears aroundthecorner.

Asecondlater,KAYand JAYrushout intothestreet.Thecabis nowhere tobe seen.Jayrunsintothe street,noticingthewoodenbeads,the rippedpine-scentedgreendeodorizer,andthestill-burningcigarette.

AndJaystartsrunningdownthestreet,whereDOZENSofcabs arewaiting atthe intersection.He'srunningfromcabtocab,poundingonwindows, scaringthelivingshitoutof people--

--but LaurelandEdgararenowheretobe found.Upaheadthelightturns greenandthetide oftaxiswashaway,leavingJayon thestreet.Heturns asa carscreechesupbehindhim,itsheadlightsshininginhiseyes.As itgetscloser,Jaysees it'sKayin theLTD.

JayandKay rushinfrom thedoorundertheWorld'sFairmural,andhead towardthemaindisplayscreen;allaroundthem,theMIBstaffersarein freneticactivityinresponsetothethreatfromabove.

Justthen,a loudALARMwails.

ATTHE MAINVIEWINGSCREEN,AGREENLINEshootsoutfromthe Arquillian ship,strikingaregionofplanetearth.

--headquarters,whereeverybell,whistleandlightimaginableisgoing off.

Viewingthescreen,itnowreads:

AsKay andZedwatchas themachinescrollsthroughthedata,Jaywalks backtowardsthecenterofthe room,deepinthought.Overhimwe hear:

KayandZed bothlookup atonce,scowling.

Theyfollowhisgaze,up,over thecomputerterminals.There,onthewall infrontof them,whereithas loomedfortheentiremovie,isthe enormousmuralofthe1964World'sFairgrounds.Mostprominentinthe muralaretwotall towersthatrisedramaticallyfromtheground,topped by--

--the twoflyingsaucersfromtheveryfirstaliencontact.Astheystand there,wide-eyed,staringatit,we--

--the real-livetwintowersontheactualfairgroundsinFlushing Meadows.AtaxiSCREECHEStoa haltatthe edgeofa fencea hundredyards away.EDGARshovesLAURELoutthroughthedriver'sdoorandfollowsbehind her,stillholdinghisweapononher.

Andhe shovesheraheadofhim,off inthe directionofthespaceships.

Behindhim,abandonedonthefrontseatof thecab,we finallyseethe frontofthe postcardhe'sbeencarryingaround."FLUSHINGMEADOWS,SITE OFTHE 1964WORLD'SFAIR,"itsays,witha distinctivephotographofthe spaceships.

Sothat'showhe knew.

Nighttimenow,andthecityhumsalong,justanotherThursdaynight.The clockinColumbusCirclesaysit's7:45.

TVsin thewindowofan appliancestoreshowarerunof"Cheers."PEOPLE laugh.

Thenewstickerin TimesSquareannouncesthelatestshatteringnews:

RAINLIKELY--TEMPSDROP TO60'S

EARTHLINGSpassleftandright,blissfullyunawareoftheirimpending doom.

KAYandJAY leapintoKay'sLTDand SLAMthedoors.Kayjams thekeyin theignition,thecarROARSto life,andheturnsto Jay.

Hehitsthe gasandthe carROCKETSawayfromthecurb.

TheLTDtearsthroughthecity.

Kayturnssharplytothe right,SMACKINGJayaround.Lookingupahead,he seestheentrancetothe midtowntunnel.

TheLTDracesthroughthetunnelat topspeed.It'scleardrivingfora fewseconds,butthentheyrounda bend--

--and there'satrafficjamupahead.

Kayapproachesthelineofcarsat topspeed,withno intentionofslowing down.Jay,terrified,holdsonfordearlife.

ALIGHTEDPANELrotatesintoplacebetweenthetwofrontseats,andthat

plasticcoverandJAMShisfingerdownon theredflashingbutton.

Asthe LTDrocketstowardthetrafficjamupahead,it beginstoevolve,

endoskeletonpushesthe"normal"panelsout.Itbecomesalarger,wirier machine,heldtogetherbyanelaborateseriesofmechanicalmusclesand metallictendons.

Kay'scarhurtlestowardcertaindeathinthetrafficjam,butat thelast possiblemomentitswervesofftotheside,a SUCKINGSOUNDcomingfrom underneathit.

Insteadofbangingoffthewallof thetunnel,theLTD actuallyclingsto it.It swervesup,ontothewalland hangsthere,racingbythetraffic below.

Itkeepsgoing,turningalltheway overanddrivingupsidedown,wheels clingingtotheroofof thetunnel.

Jayfallsfromhis seatwitha CLUNK,ontotheupsidedownceilingofthe car.Balledupon thebackof hisneck,he peersoutthewindowas they tearthroughthetunnel,ZOOMINGoverthebottleneckedtrafficunderneath.

Astheyrace throughthetunnel,theyhaveaminuteto kill.

Helightsa cigaretteandblowsthesmokeoutleisurely,onehandonthe wheel,justwaitingoutthetunnel.Jaygivesup strugglingtoright himselfandcloseshiseyes,sufferingthroughthis.

Fromoutsidethecar,we watchitrocketalongonthe roofofthe tunnel. Wecan hearKAY'SVOICEashe goeson.And on.

Andtheydisappearouttheotherend ofthetunnel--

--and flipover,BANGINGbackdownontotheroadon theotherside.Jay fallsofftheceilingandSLAMSinto hisseat.

Heflipshis cigaretteoutthewindowandcranksthewheeltothe left.

Approachingatollbooth,theLTDshootsacrossninelanesoftrafficand throughtheonlyopenbooth,SHATTERINGthegate.Travelingatabouttwo hundredmilesanhour,Kaynonchalantlyflipsatokenoutthewindow--

--and itCHINKSinthe basketastheirtaillightsdisappear.

EDGARclimbstheoutsideofthelandingtowerof oneofthe spaceships, pushingLAURELupaheadofhim,headedfor thesauceratthe top.

Andwiththatshe KICKShimsquarelyintheface.He reels,momentarily losinghisgripon her.ShetakesadvantageofthemomentandFLINGS HERSELFout,intotheair.

Edgarflails,butsheis beyondhisreach.Shefalls,tumblingthroughthe air--

--and landsinthebranchesofa tree.Shehits hard,thebranches rattling,andreachesoutandhangsonfor dearlife,highabovethe ground.

Above,Edgarjustkeepsclimbing.

Overatthe fence,theLTDcomesto alooooong,skiddingstopatthe fairgrounds.

ATTHE TRUNK,JAYandKAYflip openthetrunkandscarfup whatever weaponslookmostdangerous.Kaygrabsablackbox,UNSNAPSarow of latches,andopensit,revealing--

--the mostwicked-lookingshotgunontheplanet.

Threefeetlong,triple-barreled,overandunderandunder,plusapump actionreloaderontopofa storageclipfora dozenmoreshells.The shellsthemselvesaresolid,glisteninglikepolishedsteel.Kayloadsup theclip.

Kaypumpsit once,withextremeconfidence.

HeSLAMSthe trunk,revealingtheflyingsaucerssittingatoptheir columnsinthedistance.

Asif oncue,one ofthe saucersbeginstoHUM.Thenitstartsto spin, fasterandfaster.Theshipbeginstorise.

Laurelsitsinher tree,watchingwithamazement.

AtSheaStadium,a Metsgameisin progress.Behindthehomeplateside, theflyingsaucersilentlyrisesupinthe nightsky,plainlyvisible.

Butat thatverymoment,thebatterCRACKSintoafastball,hard.The crowdrisestoits feet,SHOUTING,staringoutatcenterfield,wherethe ballisheaded.

Alleyesin thehouseareon theMets'CENTERFIELDER,exceptforhis eyes,whichareon theflyingsaucerbehindhomeplate.Hiseyeswiden, hisjawdrops--

--and thecatchableballsailsoverhishead,THUDDINGintothewall behindhim.ThecrowdBOOSviciously.

Kayraisestheweaponhe tookfromthetrunk;looksoverat Jay.

Jayraiseshisweapon;theypresstheirgreenbuttons.

Theypulltheirtriggers.

Fora moment,nothinghappens,asifitwerea misfire.Butthen,thereis aVACUUMWHUMP,likeall theairin theimmediateareabeingsuckedintoa spacethesizeof adime,and atremendousshockwaverollsoutfromthe barreloftheguns.

JayandKay aresuckedtothe groundbythebizarreforce,THUDDINGto theirstomachslikemagnetstoarefrigerator.

Theshockwaveswrinkleacrosstheopenspacebetweenthemandthe ship, thenitHITS theship--

--and ittoois suckedbackdown.Hurtlingbacktowardthem.

Sheflinchesastheflyingsaucershootsoverhead.

ThesaucerCRASHESthroughtheUnisphere,anenormoussteelglobe,and THUDStothe earth,CRASHINGthroughbrush,dirtandrock...

JayandKay cometotheirfeet...

Infrontof them,thedustclears...Treesuprooted,stonesanddirt throwneverywhere...adumpsterhasbeencasttotheirleft...

Andthesauceris there,embeddedintheearth,tippedoff-kilterina moundofdebris...

Ahatchcomesup...revealingEdgar,walkingslowlytowardthem,with containedfury.

Hepumpsthe gunforemphasis.

Edgarstaresathim.Thenflexeshis arms,stillencasedinflesh.His giantpincersRIPfreeofthe rottingskin.

Heextendsbothpincerstothe sides,and,myGod,his reachmustbe twelvefeetacross.

Nowtheskin andclothesonEdgar'slegsbeginstoCRACKand SHRED.They BURSTAPART,revealingtwohideous,doubled-overinsectlegs.Thebug raiseshimselfaloftonhislegs.

Hesucksin adeep breathofair,andnow therestof theEdgarsuitgoes thewayof thearmsand legs.ThetorsoEXPLODESingreatrenderingof clothandskin,andfinally

Edgar'sheadsimplyBURSTSapart,SPATTERINGagainstthewalls.Edgarnow revealshimselfashereallyis:a hairy,bug-likeexoskeleton,ascaly

tailwitha longstinger,aheadlikea cobrawithellipticaleyesanda smallnose,andtwohorse-likefeetwiththreetoeseach.

Heraiseshispincersin theair,restingthemonhis head.TheGALAXY hangsona chainaroundhisneck.

KayandJay pumptheirgunsandaim atthe Bug.

SuddenlytheBugSPITS.Anda HUGE,SLIMYWADOF GOOshootsfromhimand engulfsbothshotguns.TheBugsnortsitback,tearingthemfromJayand Kay'sgrasp,thenswallowingthem.

JayandKay haveonlya secondtoreactbefore--

TheBugSWIPESat themwiththeback ofhisclawedhand,likesomeone brushingasideagnat-- andSENDSTHEMFLYINGFIFTEENFEETINTHE AIR.

Sheflinchesasshesees themhittheground.Shestartsto climbthe tree.

JayandKay hitthegroundwithloud grunts.

Theylookup toseethe Bugmovingforthe secondtower--andthe second flyingsaucer.Kaygetstohis feet.

KaystartswalkingaftertheBug.

Kaystepsforwardandyellsat thedepartingBug.

TheBugjust keepsmovingtowardtheladder.

TheBugturnstowardKay.Kay stepsupto him,thesmallhumanfacingoff againstthegiantalienhug.

Shequietlymakesitto theground--hurriesoffto thedarknessofthe woods.

Kayhashimselfin theBug'sface,itsdrippingfangsinchesfromKay's face.

TheBugreacts-- cranksopenitsmassivejawswitha deafeningHISS, lungesforward,andsucksKayintohismouth.

TheBugstraightensuptoits fullheightandthrowshisheadback.Kay slidesdowntheBug'sthroat,bendingitsidewaysashekicksand SCREAMS hiswaydown intoitsabdomen.

JAYlookson,in stunnedhorror...

ASTHE BUGTURNSTOJAY ANDSTRETCHESTOITSFULLHEIGHTand letsloosea HIDEOUSSCREAMINGHOWLOFTRIUMPH.

Laurelisstillwatching.

Jaywatchesasthe BugcontinuesitsHOWLOFTRIUMPH...Hefeelstotally defeated.But...

Hecan hardlybelievehiseyesashe looksdownatthe Bug'sstomach...

CLOSEONBUG'SSTOMACH.ThroughtheleatherypouchoftheBug'sstomach, wecan justmakeoutthe distendedoutlineofthetwoatomizers...andjust afew inchesfromit,a HUMANHANDisreachingtowardthegun...KAY!

Kay,swimmingintheBug'sintestinalfluid,triestomakehisway tothe gun,Holdinghisbreath.Eyesstinging.

Jayknowswhathe hasto do.Hepicksup a good-sizedchunkofconcrete dislodgedbythecrashingsaucerandhurlsitat theBug.

TheconcreteTHUNKSofftheBug'sshell-- hedoesn'tseemtonotice;just keepsmoving.

Jaypicksup atwistedmetalpoleandruns attheBug.

JaystartspoundingontheBug withthemetalpole.

Kayalmosthashis fingersaroundthestockofthegun --ThePOUNDINGon theoutsidedistractshimandheturns-- thegunshiftsaway.

TheBuggrabsthe metalpoleandyanksit outof Jay'shands.Heswingsat Jay-- Jaydodgestheblowand fallstothegrass.

TheBugslicesdownwith razor-sharpclawsatJay--

--Jay rollsoutofthe way,justas themean-lookingclawsdigintothe grass.

JayrollsrightunderneaththeBug'slegs.Hishandfallson somethingin thegrass-- anotherpieceofdebris,asharpmetalspike,gleaminglikea dagger.Hegrabsthemetalspikeand looksupat theBug'sapparently vulnerableunderbelly,rightabovehim.

Hegrabsthe spikewithbothhandsandis abouttothrustthespikeup, intotheBug'sgut,when;

TheBugbendsits headdownbetweenitslegs.

BUG'SPOVof Jaythere,upside-downfromthisperspective,lurkingbetween theBug'slegs.

TheBugopensits jawsandSNAPSat Jay-- whopropelshimselfbackward outof harm'sway.

TheBugstartsclimbingthetower.Jayhowlsin frustration.

Infrustration,JayscreamsandthrowshimselfontheBug,hangingonto itsback,tryingtodrag itdown.

TheBugflickshim offwithhistail --sendinghimSAILINGtwentyfeet throughtheair.

JayCRASHESintothedumpster,landingonaheap infrontof thegarbage.

But,scratchedandbeat-up,Jaystilldoesn'tquit--hestandsto yellat theBug,extendinghisarmat thecreature.

Henoticessomethingonhisarm...acockroachrunningdownhissleeve.He flicksitoff...

Looksdownatthe ground...seesanotherroach...looksovertothedumpster behindhim...therearemoreofthem...awholemob,infact...fiftyor sixtyofthe critters,climbingoutofarustedholeinthe dumpster...

Jayhasone lastdesperateidea...Hekicksatthedumpster--partofthe sideisrustedpaperthinand itkicksapartand crumblestopieces.

TENSOFTHOUSANDSOFROACHESpouringforthfromthedumpster,crawling likea blackglitteringriver,awayfromthegarbage...

Jayleapsto hisfeetandmovesto theglisteningmobofinsects...

CLOSEONJAY'SFOOTas hestepson theroach. CRUNCH.

ONTHE BUGashe flinchesontheladder-- hehatesthatsound.

ONJAY.He smiles.

Heknowshe'sgettingto him.HestepstowardtheBug --movinghisfoot overanotherroach.

CRUNCH!Hecrushesanotherone.

Hestepsforwardagain--CRUNCH!

ONTHE BUG.Heturnsaround,angerburninginhiseyes.

Kay'shandreachescloserandclosertothegun...

JaykeepsmovingtowardtheBug,findingnewroachestotreadon --holds hisfootoveranotherone.

CRUNCH.[ON]THEBUGas hestartsclimbingdownthetowerandmoving towardJay.

ONJAY.They aremovingtowardeachotherina showdown-- Jaymoveson, poisinghisfootoveranotherroach.

TheBugis rightoverJaynow, jawsdrippingreadytogobblehimup.

Jaystaresrightbackat theBug.Inside,heseesKay'shand,closing aroundthetriggeroftheshotgun.Hebringsit around,pointingup, straightattheBug'shead.

Hemovesto CRUNCHtheroach--The Bugmovesto chompJay--Jay stares upat him,unflinching...

andat thatverymoment...

KayBLASTSa holerightinthe middleoftheBug'smidsection.Thefront ofthe Bug'sthoraxEXPLODESinashowerofbug juicealloverJay.

TheBugfliesinto twopieces--the buttendsailingoneway;the head flyingbehindJay.

Kayfallsoutof theBug,in a messofgoo,gaspingforbreath,dropping theatomizerfromhisslipperyfingers.

Theothergunsailsoff intothedarkness.

TheICONdropsto theground,rollsovertoJay'sfeet,and CLATTERSto restlikea silverdollarona barroomfloor.

Hecalmlybendsdownand picksitup.Jay ispissedandstartsin onKay.

Kayholdsup afingerin a'waita minute'gesture--pullsouthispocket phoneandhitsa number.

Zedis standingattheconsole,asmileon hisface.Heglancesoverat

redlightsarecomingbackon.

Kayflipsthephoneclosed.

Astheyargue,behindthem,unseen,THEFRONTHALFOF THEBUGRAISES ITSELFUPon itsforearms,eyesgleamingwithhate,jawsdripping--ready toloweritselfontoKay andJay.

HISSS!TheBugattacks,swingingitsheaddownonthem.They turntosee it,andjust beforethejawssnapdownon theirheads...

BOOM!TheBug'sheadexplodesintoa millionbits.Bugjuiceshowersdown everywhere,bucketsfulofgoodrenchingKayandJayevenfurther.

Theyturnto see...

LAURELstandingbehindthedeadBug,theotheratomizerinherhands,the barrelsmoking,theweaponandLaureldrippingtheBuginnards.

ONTHE SKY.BitsofBug juicestillflyingthroughtheair.

Thedriverseessomethingtumblingtowardthewindshield.Hewinces.

--AND THEBUG'SREMAINSSPLATAGAINSTTHEWINDSHIELD.

Thedrivergrimacesatthemess.

Hereachesdownandhits abutton.Wiperfluidsquirtsontothewindshield andthewipersspreadthebug gooeverywhere.

Kay'sLTDis parkedoutsideMeninBlackheadquarters.LAURELleansher backagainstthecar. Wesee JAYandKAY walkingawayinthedistance.

Kaypullsoutthe neuralyzer.

Kaystartsdialingbacktheneuralyzer.

KAY

forwards.

Hehandsthe neuralyzertoJay.Tapshispocket.Indicatesforhimtoput hisglasseson.Jayresists.

Jaytakestheneuralyzer.Slipsonhisglasses.

Jayraisestheneuralyzer.WithabrilliantFLASH,thescreenturnswhite.

CLOSEONvarioustabloidheadlinesasahandflicksthroughthem.Here's one:

Mets'CenterfielderSays: "UFOMADEME MISSHOMERUN BALL!"

Andhere'sanotherone:

DETROITHASCAR THATDEFIESGRAVITY! SecretTestsinN.Y.'sTunnel

Anda third:

AlargephotographshowsasmilingKAY,arm-in-armwithELIZABETHRESTON, hislong-lostfiancee,inherbackyardin Tempe,Arizona.

Sheholdsa largebouquetofflowers,thesamekindhe broughtbutnever gaveherthirtyyearsago.

JAY,who'sreadingthepaper,smiles.

ATTHE CURB,Jayhurriesbacktothe LTDwiththenewspapers.ELLE, (formerlyLaurel),iswaiting,leaningagainstthehood.Tailoredblack suit.Blackshoes.Short-croppedhair.Thelookneverlookedbetter.

BothcardoorsSLAM,Jay dropsitin gear,andtheLTD BLASTSawayfrom thecurb.

TheLTDis justoneof manycarsin ajam-packedManhattancityblock.

FROMUPIN THECLOUDS

Manhattanitselfisjustpartofa muchlargerurbanandsuburbansprawl.

FROMTHESTRATOSPHERE

Theeastcoastof theUnitedStatesisjustpart ofa muchlargerland mass.

FROMTHEEOSPHERE

NorthAmericaisjusta smallportionoftheplanetEarth.

FROMSPACE

Earthisjusta tinyballin oursolarsystem.

FROMTHEMIDDLEOF THEMILKYWAY

Oursolarsystemisjust afew blipsoflightin avaststar field.

FROMOUTSIDEOURGALAXY

TheMilkyWayis justa creamyspiralamidinnumerableothercreamy spirals.

FROMTHEOUTERREACHESOFTHE UNIVERSE

Thereseemstobe anedgeto whatwe see,acurvedborderthatseemsto closeinon thingsaroundtheperimeters,untileverythingthatexists seemstobe containedinonetinyball--

--whichis actuallyamarblerestingona strange-lookingpatchofred dirt.

AnALIENHANDreachesdownand flicksthemarble,sendingitskittering andbouncingacrossthedirt,whereitCLICKSintoa dozenotherbigblue ballsjustlikeit.

FADEOUT.