DIRECTOR/E.P.: Paul Feig PRODUCER: Judd Apatow PRODUCER: Barry Mendel PRODUCER: Clayton Townsend CO-PRODUCER: Annie Mumolo CO-PRODUCER: Kristen Wiig ASSOC. PRODUCER: Lisa Yadavaia
Bridesmaids
by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig
Thismaterialisthe propertyofSoHappyforYou! Productions,LLC(Awholly ownedsubsidiaryofUniversalCityStudios,Inc.)andisintendedand
disclosureofthematerialtounauthorizedpersonsisprohibited.Thesale, copyingorreproductionofthismaterialinanyformis alsoprohibited.
FADE IN:
The ultimate bachelor pad. A Porsche is parked in front of it.
ANNIE WALKER, mid 30's, is having sweaty sex with TED, handsome, 40. In a series of close-ups and jump cuts, we see Annie in the middle of a very long, vigorous session.
JUMP CUT to see she’s now bouncing on top of him.
He bounces Annie SUPER FAST.
Annie stands in front of a mirror in nice lingerie. She puts on lotion, make-up, brushes her hair, mascara, etc. She getting ready to...
Creep back into the bed, where Ted is still sleeping.She gets in and begins to position herself to show her good parts. Coughs and nudges Ted to wake him up. Annie quickly pretends she’s still asleep. He taps her.
They hug tightly and he kisses her deeply. Then he lets her go. Stares at her...
Annie stares. Awkward moment leading into ...
Annie does the walk of shame out of the house. She attempts to exit through the driveway gate but it won’t open.Tries to pull it open to fit through the crack but can’t.
She sighs, then starts to climb over the gate. As she’s straddling the top, it starts to OPEN. The HOUSEKEEPER in her car with her clicker. Annie WAVES to her from the top of the opening gate. Mortified.
Annie jumps down and runs to her car. A old neighbor getting his paper, stares at this sad spectacle. His dog stares too.
A BOOT-CAMP workout session is going on, men and women are painfully following along. The instructor is yelling angrily at the class. WAY IN THE BACKGROUND we see two women peaking out from behind a tree. It is Annie and her best friend, LILLIAN, mid 30’s. They are taking his class without him knowing.
From the distance we hear the BOOT CAMP INSTRUCTOR yelling.
Caught, Annie and Lillian pretend to randomly dance.
The women run off. Lillian yells back.
Annie and Lillian continue laughing, as they sit in their workout clothes, casually picking food off each other’s plates as they talk.
Annie imitates a penis.
Annie sticks out her elbows.
Annie has food covering a tooth.
Lillian has food on her teeth too.
Annie and Lillian are walking in downtown Milwaukee.
Lillian fishes in her purse for her phone and checks it.
Lillian notices Annie has stopped to stare at a CLOSED DOWN BAKERY across the street. It's cool and unique, like the CBGB's of baked goods. Some of the letters have been removed, but we can see that it used to say “Cake Baby.” Between the two words is a cool drawing of 1950’s RETRO PIN- UP style woman with a cake tucked under her arm.
A family owned, outdated jewelry store in downtown Milwaukee. Annie stands at a counter talking to an excited ASIAN COUPLE.
ANGLE ON: Annie's boss, DON, is glaring at her from his desk, horrified.
The couple turn and leave.
Annie tries to make a pleasant face.
KAHLUA, a very pretty African-American woman, walks over.
Kahlua beams in a sensual, ridiculous way. Don turns to Annie, who is trying to mimic Kahlua’s face.
Kahlua smiles and leaves.
In the background, a SECURITY GUARD is lounging against the displays behind the counter. Don turns to the guard before leaving to a back office.
Annie walks into her crappy two bedroom apartment. A woman in her 20’s, BRYNN, sits on the couch, watching TV.
Brynn stands and lifts her shirt and pulls half of her pants down to reveal an enormous tattoo of a giant Mexican worm that extends from her stomach around to her lower back.The back half is completely infected and scabbed, with disgusting discharge leaking out.
GIL enters from the bedroom smiling. He’s wearing a short- sleeved dress shirt and tie.
Brynn moves to the kitchen to get ice.
Behind Gil, Brynn has taken a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and openly pours them down her back. They clatter onto the ground, going everywhere.
Brynn gives her a thumbs up and goes back into the freezer.
Annie stares at the smiling Gil. She doesn’t have the check.
Annie escapes to her room. Gil turns and sees Brynn. He smiles warmly and chuckles.
DING DONG. An excited Lillian opens the door to reveal Annie, posing with bottles of wine and a stack of magazines.
Lillian excitedly takes the wine. Annie walks in confused by this. Lillian is practically skipping.
Lillian splays her hand, showing off a sparkling DIAMOND ENGAGEMENT RING.
Annie hugs Lillian tightly. Lillian hugs her back but it’s a decidedly awkward moment as Annie hugs her way too long and hard, like Lillian’s going off to war. They finally separate.
ANNIE
...planning a wedding.
Lillian’s cell phone rings. She smiles.
Lillian makes a goofy face at Annie and they both laugh joyously as Lillian runs out of the room. Annie is left laughing too hard by herself, freaking out inside.
Annie lays in bed looking at a photo of her and Lillian as kids.
Close-up of JUDY, Annie’s mom, putting the finishing touches on a painting of Wynonna Judd.
Annie pulls up a tree-lined driveway of a BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY CLUB. People entering in fancy clothes getting out of luxury cars. Annie, surprised at how extravagant it all is. She hands her keys to the valet, self-conscious about her car.
The valet can’t get it started.
Annie’s eyes go wide as she walks into the elegant dining room. FANCY. A lively cocktail party’s underway. Live music. Happy upper-class people, dressed expensively.
Annie smooths her dress, self-conscious, then sees Lillian.
They head over to RITA, 30’s, a voluptuous, tired housewife.
BY THE PATIO BAR
BECCA, 30, cute and perky. She stands very close to her husband KEVIN.
They do a dumb, lovey gesture.
Annie looks confused, then turns to see a BALD MAN with a neck brace, late 40’s, standing behind her. He looks like a strict math teacher.
BY THE BANDSTAND
Annie and Lillian stand with MEGAN, 30’s, tomboyish, looking a bit odd in her floral dress.
Lillian rushes off.
Annie looks and sees a very smart looking African-American MAN in his 60’s who is wearing an ascot and smoking a pipe standing next to her. Megan holds her hand out to shake his.
Lillian re-appears, grabs Annie and pulls her away.
In slow motion, like a goddess, the gorgeous HELEN turns and looks right at Annie. Smiling. She’s BEAUTIFUL. She walks toward them, wearing a much-too-fancy, floor-length GOWN. Everything about her is perfect. Annie swallows, straightens her plastic beads.
Helen hugs Lillian. Lillian hugs her back tightly. Annie seems thrown by their intimacy.
Helen turns and glides off into the crowd, a vision.Annie watches after her, stunned.
Lillian’s father, ED, finishes a speech.
Everyone claps, some whistles, as Annie nervously takes the mic from Ed, who sits down.
She raises her glass, people clap. Helen stands clapping and takes the mic from her. Annie looks a bit surprised. Helen gives her a smile motioning Annie to sit.
Annie's mouth drops. People, including Lillian, are moved, sniffling. Helen wipes away a tear.
Helen winks. People applaud and LAUGH. She gets emotional again.
Everyone “Ahh’s” and claps a little bit LOUDER. Without thinking, Annie stands up and takes the mic from Helen.
Annie sits down, keeping the mic. Helen reappears with her own WIRELESS MIC.
The crowd quiets. Annie looks around the room and sees everyone is in awe.
People are crying and hugging. Annie pops back up.
Helen instantly appears again with her mic.
Helen “looks” at Lillian.
Helen has concluded the speeches, but Annie’s back.
She stares at Lillian for a long, awkward beat.
Helen steps forward with her now louder mic and in a very loud R & B voice sings with Annie.
Annie is waiting for her car with Lillian.
Annie laughs. Lillian smiles and shrugs.
She hugs her and leaves.
ANGRY ROCK MUSIC BLARES. Annie drives fast, angrily swerving all over the place like a drunk person, but she is only drunk with indignation.
Annie starts doing mocking gibberish like a five year old, which turns into more fake Thai impressions as she gets madder and madder. Just then...
A POLICE CAR sounds its siren behind her.
Annie is walking the line as part of a drunk test. A policeman, OFFICER RHODES, 30’s, watches her walk. He’s all business and is not having it.
Annie starts to dance on the “line” she’s supposed to be walking, then starts to dance. Not well.
He searches for words. She’s cute and he wants to keep her there. He keeps smiling. Awkward silence.
Starts looking in her purse. Awkward silence. She hands him her license.
Rhodes stares at her. He thinks, then rips the ticket up.
He hands her a business card.
He takes back the card and writes on it.
She waves and drives off. He watches her go.
Annie is in her small kitchen, surrounded by baking supplies. She is meticulously putting the finishing touches on the most elaborate cupcake ever. It’s a work of art, the frosting sculpted into a realistic looking 3D orchid. It’s beautiful.
Annie finishes, looks at the cupcake, SIGHS sadly and eats it in two bites, then heads off to bed. All the work and mess was for one cupcake.
Annie and Helen are walking through the tennis club on their way to the courts, chatting before their big game.
Neither of them means it.
RYAN, 16, and ALYSSA, 13, pass by. Helen stops them.
They walk off. Helen calls after them cheerily.
They both smile warmly at each other.
Helen and Annie stare intensely at each other across the net. Helen is with her partner BARBARA, a rich, fit woman in her 40’s. Annie is teamed with CAROL, also rich but in less great shape. Helen smashes a serve to Annie, who returns it ferociously.
IN A SERIES OF SHOTS as cinematic and violent as the pool scene in Scorsese’s “The Color of Money,” we see Helen and Annie have an intense showdown. Annie unloads on the ball, hitting Helen in the left breast as hard as humanly possible.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Annie and Helen smash the ball into each other’s breast, chest, neck, and “other female parts”, with insane intensity. It is super violent.
Annie’s partner, Carol, misses a shot.
ALL ANNIE’S POV: She serves hard and runs Helen around the court.
Annie accidentally serves very hard directly into Carol’s back, knocking her down.
Helen’s step kids are watching and laugh.
Annie, Gil, and Brynn sit on the couch.
Annie and the bridesmaids stand in a parking lot of a stand- alone Brazilian steak-house in a not-great part of town. Lillian looks shocked.
We’re not quite sure if she thinks so.
Annie grabs Lillian and pulls her toward the restaurant as the other girls follow. As Helen stares at the place like she just smelt dog shit...
The girls walk into the Brazilian-themed restaurant, which looks more like a rundown English steakhouse. Several OUT OF SHAPE WAITERS walk around, each holding a sword with huge hunks of meat on it. Only a few customers are there.
The girls all laugh and click glasses.
Just then, five waiters all holding HUGE SWORDS with different types of MEAT skewered on them surround the table.
The girls all look excited and start pointing at different meats as the waiters start to carve large hunks onto their plates. Helen wrinkles her nose and flags the waiter.
The girls are scarfing down tons of food. Helen picks away at her salad. Everyone’s having a great time.
Becca leans over to Rita.
The girls continue to eat. Lillian’s seat is empty.
The women like that idea.
The bridesmaids walk up to an imposing building.
Annie looks proud. She grabs the door which says “OPEN” but it’s locked. She notices a buzzer and presses it.
Helen leans into the intercom.
HELEN WHITNEY
Hiiii! Hiiii!
They are led into a PRISTINE, ALL-WHITE WONDERLAND of dresses and bridal bliss by WHITNEY, a glamorous woman.
A burp escapes Megan’s mouth!
Whitney just gives Megan a tense smile and exits. Helen GASPS and walks over to a beautiful ball gown. It looks very expensive. She checks the tag.
The girls all gather around it and “OOO” and “AAH”.
Annie’s eyes quickly scan the room and see a simpler, cheaper dress. She heads over to it. The tag says $250.
The girls all chatter excitedly about this as Annie looks stung. She looks at Helen, who smiles at her.
The ladies all head off excitedly to different dresses as Annie looks concerned. A drip of sweat comes down her forehead. Embarrassed, she wipes it away and grabs a dress.
The girls are in different dresses. Lillian is not there. They look great, although Megan’s face is beet red.
Lillian walks out in a very ornate COUTURE wedding dress. She looks crazy gorgeous. The girls GASP.
Megan lurches forward as the contents of her stomach come up into her mouth. She claps her hand over her mouth to stop from throwing up. After a beat, she swallows and pushes it back down. Looks nauseous.
Annie is really sweaty now, a mark between her boobs. Suddenly, Becca politely cups her hand over her mouth to stifle herself from getting sick.
Rita grabs her stomach and hunches over a bit.
We hear a noise.
They all stand in horrified silence, Becca still holding her hands against her face. There are faint (and loud) stomach CHURNING sounds.
Rita bolts down a hallway, followed by Becca and Megan.
Whitney and Lillian chase after them as Annie stands her ground with Helen, facing off, Annie unwilling to admit she’s sick.
The single toilet bathroom is as PRISTINE and WHITE as the fitting area. Everything is just right. Calm and quiet. Classical music plays softly.
BLAM! The door bursts open as Rita runs in. She projectile vomits into the toilet...but the seat is down. Everything sprays onto the back wall.
Rita slams the top open and heaves again into the bowl as Megan runs in holding her backside.
Rita ignores her as her head is in it and she grips the sides, barfing. In desperation, Megan hikes up her dress, hops up onto the counter, and SITS in the SINK. Rita looks back at Megan.
Helen and Annie are faced off. Annie is sweating profusely.
Becca runs in blindly over the toilet that Rita is still barfing in. Vomit rains down on the back of Rita’s head.
The stand-off continues. Annie is soaked and woozy.
Helen picks up a bowl off a table next to her.
Annie takes a handful and painfully puts them in her mouth, chewing them slowly. She forces it and swallows the almonds down with a slow gulp.
A sweaty Lillian runs up to Annie, who is still faced off with Helen.
Lillian gets a look on her face. She grabs her stomach as it GURGLES loudly.
She turns and bolts away. Annie runs after her.
Lillian bursts out of the building and runs across the street toward a 7-11. Cars SCREECH to a halt to avoid the fleeing bride. Annie runs out and watches in horror.
Suddenly Lillian stops running and slowly sinks down onto the ground, embarrassed and unable to move. She throws a helpless look back at Annie.
In the doorway, Whitney and Annie watch it all in horror.
After a beat, Helen walks up behind Whitney.
A green looking Annie drives a green looking Lillian, who is back in her regular clothes.
Annie and Ted lay in bed, post-coital. Still panting.
Annie struggles to think of a name.
Ted grabs a glass of water from the night-stand and takes a sip. Idea!
Ted intensely cups her breast and just rubs it in a circle.
TED
41 You know what, it’s getting really 41
late. You should probably go. I’m gonna miss you so much.
Annie is looking at the herbal drinks. “Calm,” “Focus,” “Sex Appeal.” She finally picks “Calm.”
He approaches her, holding a bag of carrots.
Annie stares at him, considering.
Annie and Rhodes sit on the hood of his cop car in front of the mini mart, sharing a bag of carrots.
Rhodes studies Annie a beat. She takes another carrot. It’s a small dried-out carrot.
He goes to eat it. She grabs it out of his hands.
She throws it on the ground.
He picks it up. Annie watches him, a bit intrigued.
Annie feels his bicep.
Annie is standing in front of Rhodes’ cop car on the side of the road, holding up the speed gun, aiming it. Rhodes sits on the hood and continues to eat his food.
A car zooms by.
Another car zooms by.
Another car is approaching. Rhodes looks at it.
The car zooms past.
Annie gives him an impressed look, then goes back to pointing a fun as Rhodes watches her. He smiles. A car roars by.
Annie whoops, delighted. They jump in the car and drive off.
A fired-up Annie goes to the computer and starts typing feverishly
We see words she types: “Bachelorette party!,” “LILLIAN’S LAKE HOUSE,” “campfires,” “Beer and s’mores,” etc.
She presses send, and is very pleased. The phone immediately rings. Annie picks it up. INTERCUT BETWEEN CALLS.
Helen sits in her BEAUTIFUL home, looking at her laptop.
Annie’s call waiting BEEPS again. She deflates.
Rita in her “new money” kitchen, straight out of the Soprano’s. Her three boys are fighting and playing.
Annie glances down at her $350 PAYCHECK.
Annie’s call waiting BEEPS again.
Becca, in her shabby-chic home office, paints a front porch sign that says “The Whitman’s.”
Annie’s call waiting BEEPS again. She clicks over.
Megan is in front of a wall of computer and television screens. It is a TECHNICAL HAVEN that looks like NASA.
The women are dressed to the NINES, heading to the plane, excited. Annie tails the group, looking very afraid.She takes a breath and gets on board.
Annie settles into her seat next to a PREGNANT WOMAN who’s reading. Annie forces a smile at her. The woman gives her a dismissive smile. This is not going to be a fun flight.
The bridesmaids settle in. Lillian sits next to Helen.
Behind them, Megan sits next to an middle-aged man, JON.She looks down at his feet.
She mimes a key locking her lips shut.
She raises her eyebrows at Jon, who doesn’t notice.
The plane is taking off. Annie grips the armrest, trying to maintain her composure but SHEER TERROR takes over.
The pregnant woman is even more freaked out than Annie.
The plane is ascending now. It jolts a bit.
Annie is officially terrified.
The plane is still ascending, everyone strapped in. Annie comes through the curtain and approaches, struggling to walk uphill as the plane ascends.
Annie looks at the pill in Helen’s palm. Considers. The plane hits a bump of turbulence. Annie looks at Lillian who shrugs like “What the hell, do it.”
Annie goes back to coach.
Rita has a cocktail.
Becca looks perplexed. In front of them, Megan is flirting with Jon.
Behind them, Rita and Becca are talking.
Rita gives her a look like “WHAT?”
Becca’s eye are wide. She signals the flight attendant.
Annie is FIDGETING. The pregnant lady is freaked.
This is not helping Annie. Helen comes back.
Helen hands a cocktail to Annie.
Helen gives her a wink and heads up back to first class.
Annie downs the glass.
Becca and Rita are drinking.
Helen and Lillian are drinking champagne. The curtain sweeps open and a drugged Annie comes sauntering in.
Annie pops up next to them, rubs Lillian’s head.
Annie gives her a big druggy smile, then leans on the back of Lillian's chair.
STEVE, A MALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT appears.
Annie sweeps open the curtain and steps into coach.
She looks at Helen, who shrugs like “I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”
Annie comes back into first class wearing SUNGLASSES and sits down next to a man who looks like Enrique Iglesias.
Lillian and Helen get up from their seats.
The flight attendant glares at her. Annie leaps back into coach.
AT THE FRONT OF THE PLANE
Jon walks out of the bathroom. Megan is right there, two inches from the door. Talks quietly to him.
Megan swings her leg up, blocking the door.
Jon tries to move Megan’s leg out of the way.
Megan lets him pass and opens the bathroom door.
As Jon escapes, he walks past a drunk Rita and Becca.
Annie is seated. The plane shakes a little. She looks past the pregnant woman and out the window. Her eyes go WIDE.
The flight attendant gets on the microphone.
Lillian recognizes Annie's voice.
Lillian jumps up and runs back to help Annie. Jon jumps up and draws his gun and a taser.
He runs to the back of the plane. Megan jumps up.
In the back of plane, all three flight attendants are battling with Annie, who is still trying to yell into the mic.
Lillian and the flight attendant grapple. Annie DUCKS away, RUNS up the aisle, FAKES the Air Marshal out and climbs over people to get to the other aisle and heads for first class, passing the pregnant woman, who reaches for her.
Passengers get HYSTERICAL. Annie runs past Rita and Becca who are now MAKING OUT, towards the bathroom.
Megan APPEARS from the galley and tackles her.
Annie and Lillian are being escorted off the plane in handcuffs by the police and Air Marshal Jon. The unhappy bridesmaids follow.
The bridesmaids are BUMMED. Annie sits next to Lillian.
Annie looks crushed.
Annie drives home depressed. Up ahead, she sees Rhodes’ car sitting on the side of the road in his usual spot. Annie pulls up next to him.
Rhodes and Annie are talking in the middle of a crowded bar.
Annie and Rhodes fly through the door, making out.
Annie wakes up. She looks like a disaster. She reacts when she sees Rhodes sitting on the bed, staring at her.
He is in a t-shirt and shorts. Looks like a kid in love. Annie instantly seems a little freaked out. It is a role reversal of her relationship with Ted.
Annie looks around the room. The place is modest, at best. It is clean and organized, but it’s nothing like Ted’s apartment. Rhodes stands up.
Rhodes walks in with a big smile, then turns to Annie.She walks in and stops as Rhodes gestures grandly at something. Annie looks surprised.
ANNIE’S POV: The kitchen counter is laid out with mixing bowls and baking pans and brand new ingredients like flour, sugar, eggs, vanilla, butter, etc.
He chuckles. Annie stares at the ingredients in horror.
Annie is uncomfortable. She stares at him.
Rhodes stares at her. It’s obvious he really cares about her. She stares back at him, then heads for the door.
She exits, slamming the door behind her. Rhodes stares after her, stunned.
Annie gets in her car, depressed and confused. She finds Lillian's name on her phone and dials. She gets Lillian’s voicemail.
The clock reads 11 am. KNOCK at the door. Annie wakes up, surprised that she slept this late. Brynn pops her head in.
She goes into the living room and sees a beautiful pink and white striped box with her name and address in calligraphy sitting on the table. When Annie opens the lid, “CANON IN D” PLAYS and a real butterfly flies out. Inside the lid, it reads, “A Shower for Lillian.”
In the box, there is a chocolate sculpture of Lillian and Doug as Bride and Groom, a candle that has two wicks and says on the outside “Lillian and Dougie. Twin Flames. An Atmospheria Special Addition.”A stunned Annie takes a card out that reads “A SHOWER FOR LILLIAN.” She opens it...
The butterfly lands on her face.
Annie stares at wedding rings in the counter.
Annie looks up. A snotty 13 year old rich GIRL stands at Annie’s counter with an iced coffee, chewing gum.
Don stands across from Annie who finishes cleaning out her locker. She sadly starts to leave.
Don walks out, disappointed.
She sits in her parked car listening to a message on her cell.
Rhodes hangs up. Annie looks confused and torn, unsure if she’s made the right decision about him or not.
Brynn and Gil sit at the edge of Annie’s bed.
Annie absorbs this.
Brynn touches Annie’s leg to console her.
Annie gets out of her loaded car. Her mom meets her in the driveway.
Annie stands outside the closed Cake Baby storefront. The sign has been vandalized to read “Cock Baby.”
She drives past a stone column inscribed “The Harris House - established 2006” and proceeds through two huge, wrought-iron gates that lead to a beautiful, plantation-style, tree-lined driveway. Her jaw drops.
AT THE NEXT STOP SIGN
A BUTLER appears with a tray.
He hands her a crystal glass of pink lemonade with a large orchid sticking out of it.
But he has moved on to the next car. Annie struggles to drive while holding the too-full glass. She is annoyed.
She takes a sip.
Annie arrives at the main house straddling a WHITE HORSE, with a horseman leading her on foot. She struggles to dismount. The horseman looks annoyed.
The front door is swung open by two attendants. As Annie enters the mansion, groups of girls pass by her...
Helen’s house is ALL cream and white with gold. Couches are puffy, art hangs everywhere. The house of a very rich person.
Annie walks into the backyard and stops, her jaw dropping.
ANNIE’S POV: It’s all of the Paris shower ideas she told Helen, but huge and over the top. Decorations to make it look like France are everywhere. A TRIO WITH AN ACCORDION PLAYER PLAYS FRENCH STANDARDS. LIVE SWANS and bunnies mill about. Attendants in full French outfits ready to serve.
A giant cake shaped like the Eiffel Tower.
In the middle of everything stands an eight foot tall HEART COOKIE that says “Lillian and Dougie!” in puffy pink cursive.
REVEAL a glorious four-tiered CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN. Girls are around it dipping in strawberries and smaller cookies, laughing.
Annie takes it all in, shocked.
A waiter offers her champagne.
Awkward silence.
They both speak at the same time.
ANNIE LILLIAN
I didn’t want to bug you, but Sorry I haven’t called back. I just...have so much to tell I’ve been... swamped. Forgive you. me, there’s just lots of
organizing and-
Awkward silence.
Lillian runs off. Annie watches her go, frustrated by the brief encounter. She stands there alone.
Lillian is opening presents. She opens a box filled with beautiful towels.
Rita takes a picture. Lillian then grabs a gift, obviously from Annie. It’s quirky, homemade, tons of bows. Doesn’t look like the others.
Lillian unwraps it, smiling. Inside is...
They share a moment. Annie looks pleased, throwing a smug look at Helen. Shrugs like “it was nothing.” Helen looks a bit self-conscious.
Helen hands her an envelope.
Lillian opens the card and reads it. Helen exchanges a look with Annie. Then, in shock ...
Lillian jumps up and down, then grabs Helen and hugs her tightly. Annie watches them, then something (finally) snaps.
Rita and Becca are uncomfortable.
Annie storms outside. She takes swings at the cookie, punching it.
She rips off a large hunk, shoves it in her mouth.
She tries to take the cookie off its stand to carry it. It’s too huge. She falls backwards and the cookie falls on top of her. Annie punches her fist up through the cookie and struggles awkwardly to get out from under it.
She storms over to the chocolate fountain and tries to tip it over. It’s way too heavy. She starts to empty the HOT chocolate with her hands onto the ground.
Everyone is watching Annie. She is fighting and punching the air like a crazy person, chasing a swan. A little girl starts crying. Lillian storms outside seething.
Annie storms off back through the house, her hands and forearms completely covered in chocolate. Lillian soon follows.
Annie walks fast through the lobby. On her way out the door, the DOORMAN offers her the party favor. A PUPPY.
Annie walks out. Lillian follows her, upset.
Annie looks at her, and then is gone. This hangs in the air. Lillian turns to sees all the women standing behind Helen.
No one says anything, then ... Megan’s hand shoots up.
Annie is pissed, driving down the highway. She looks over as MEGAN’S VAN SPEEDS PAST HER, PACKED WITH DOGS who are looking out the windows, sitting on her lap, laying on the dashboard.
As she stares at the van, a PORCUPINE crosses the road in front of her. She slams on her brakes to avoid hitting it and BOOM! Annie is rear-ended, hard. The driver behind her then backs up, peels out and drives away.
WHIR-WHIR-WHIR. Her car won’t start. She puts her forehead on the steering wheel, at her wit’s end.
Rhodes is looking at the damage. He's distant but dutiful.
Annie is speechless.
He turns and starts walking toward his car. Annie is stunned.
Rhodes stops and turns to look at her, unsure. Just then, TED screeches up in his Porsche.
Rhodes’ face drops.
Rhodes gets into his car, drives off.
Annie looks defeated, then SIGHS.
She sadly gets into Ted's car.
Annie looks at him, thinking. Then ...
Ted pulls over. Annie gets out, grabbing her purse.
She closes the door, straightens her sweater, and heads off down the shoulder of the road. He drives beside her.
Annie sits on the couch waiting Castaway. It’s the tear- jerking scene when Wilson the volleyball is floating away from Tom Hanks. He’s losing his friend. Annie is sobbing.
The DOORBELL rings. Annie opens the door. MEGAN is standing there with 7 PUPPIES from Helen’s shower on leashes.
Megan barges into the house with the dogs leading the way.
Megan puts the dogs on the porch then closes the door.Then she sits on the couch with Annie.
Megan stands up and starts pacing then gets in Annie’s face.
She pokes Annie. Then continues to prod and push her as she talks.
Megan shoves Annie.
Then Megan sits on top of Annie and holds her arms.
Annie SMACKS Megan hard in the face.
Megan looks like she might get mad, but then she smiles.
This hits Annie. Annie's speechless. Megan exhales, winded.
They hug.
The kitchen is a mess as Annie bakes something, very focused.
Annie walks up and smiles at her mom.
Annie hugs her mom.
Annie stands looking at her fixed and cleaned-up car as BILL COZBI, a big pleasant mechanic in his 50’s, writes her bill. Judy sits reading an ancient magazine in the waiting area.
Annie sees something warm in him, sparks an idea. She walks over and grabs her mom. Drags her over.
Annie motions for her mom to talk to Bill, then leaves.
BILL
117 Oh my gosh, you made that artichoke 117
dip didn’t you. It was just delicious.
They smile a each other. Happy.
Annie puts a cake box on the stoop in front of Rhodes’ front door. She looks pleased, then rings the doorbell and runs back to her car. She ducks down.
Rhodes opens the front door and looks down. It’s a cake shaped like a carrot that says “I’m Sorry.” He stares at it as Annie watches. Then, he heads back into the house and closes the door, leaving the cake out there.
Annie deflated. Heartbroken, she drives away.
Annie drives past Rhodes’ place. She sees the cake still sitting on the stoop, then continues on sadly.
Annie drives past the house AGAIN. The cake is being eaten by RACCOONS, still sitting in the same place on the stoop. It hits her...she’s lost him.
Annie is sleeping. Judy enters in her bathrobe.
DING DONG. Annie answers the door in her clothes. It’s HELEN. She starts to close the door, Helen stops her.
A123 Wait here. I think I know someone A123
that could help. I’ll get my keys.
Helen and Annie are driving. It is beyond awkward.
As Helen starts to talk, her face is starting to get red and her eyes are welling up. She fights to remain completely composed.
Helen’s hands and body contort and her face gets redder and sweatier.
Helen is now beet red and looks almost like she’s in pain as she fights with every muscle in her body to remain composed. Annie looks disturbed.
Helen is now crying, and not pretty. Annie cracks a smile.
Rhodes sits in his car at his post, reading a newspaper. Annie’s car pulls up next to him.
Rhodes starts to roll up his window.
Rhodes lifts a sandwich to his mouth and takes a casual bite. Flips to the next page of the paper. Icing Annie.
Annie stares at him, thinking, then drives away.
Annie’s car SPEEDS past Rhodes. He takes another bite of his sandwich, ignoring her. Helen is scared.
Annie looks back and turns the car around. She’s gonna try again. This time she honks the horn and flashes her headlights, speeding past even faster. Rhodes folds his paper into a square and prepares to do the crossword.Annie turns around again. She screeches to a stop.
She speeds by Rhodes again, this time swerving all over the road. She yells to him...
Rhodes REALLY wants to, but instead takes out a pen and starts doing the crossword.
Annie speeds by again and again, throwing a bunch of TRASH and DIET COKE CANS out of the window, blaring music, drinking a 40 oz., doing a donut in the middle of the road, burning rubber, sending up a cloud of smoke. He fights to continue ignoring her.
She finally pulls up behind him and taps the back of his car. Rhodes sets down his crossword and turns on his flashing lights. Makes the siren give one small sad BLOOP. Then quickly gets out of his car.
Rhodes is immediately speechless.
Rhodes is on his phone as he types on the car’s computer. Annie and Helen stand, watching.
The girls are quiet and perplexed, talking softly to each other.
Annie reads between the lines. It’s over.
He sits in his car. Annie looks like she wants to say more but can’t. She gets in her car, then drives away. Helen looks at Annie, then out the back window at Rhodes.
HELEN’S POV: Rhodes stares after them, looking bummed.
Annie’s car pulls up in front of Lillian’s apartment building. Her car is there! They start to jump out.
Helen understands and nicely nods. She gets it.
Annie, with her own key, unlocks the door, and walks into the apartment. It’s quiet.
After a beat, she hears a small GROAN. Annie walks in and sees the outline of Lillian in bed. She’s completely covered from head to toe by her comforter.
Annie sits on the bed and pulls the covers off of Lillian’s face.
Lillian has been crying, and continues to.
Annie soaks this in, and although sad, sees this is her time to be there for Lillian.
Annie realizes she’s going to be okay.
They smile and hug.
Lillian entering in THE MOST OVER-THE-TOP COUTURE WEDDING DRESS EVER IMAGINED. Annie IMMEDIATLEY starts to laugh.
Annie cracks up. Lillian joins her. It’s RIDICULOUS.
Lillian nods and gives Annie a grateful smile. They’re both happy to be friends again.
DRAMATIC LIGHTING AND MUSIC. A minister is giving the vows to Lillian and Dougie in front of a wall of fog.
As the minister continues, PULL BACK to see the bridesmaids and groomsmen are standing on ornate platforms that are sticking up out of a reflecting pool. Megan has one of her dogs on a leash. It has a ring bearer’s pillow on it’s back and wears a dog tuxedo.
PULL BACK MORE to see that Lillian and Dougie are actually standing ON THE WATER as a laser light show is spelling out “THEY DO” inside a beating heart on the fog behind them.
Lillian and Dougie kiss. BOOM! FIREWORKS start to go off as the LASER LIGHT SHOW goes into overdrive. It’s nuts. Lillian looks over at Annie. They exchange a smile that says, “We were wrong. This is crazy.”
Helen is looking around at it all, beaming. She couldn’t be happier. Once again she pulls a mic out of no where.
WILSON PHILLIPS walks out singing. As fireworks continue and MUSIC starts ... Annie is floored.
HELEN
A133 This is the last one, I promise. A133
Megan looks into the crowd, winking. JON the Air Marshal winks back!
The doors fly open. The bride and groom run down the stairs everyone is throwing flower petals and cheering. They say goodbye to people, hug etc. Lill hugs Helen and thanks her. Before she gets in the car she looks for someone. It’s Annie, who couldn’t get close to the front. They find each other, share a smile, Lillian mouths “Thank You,” and waves goodbye.
Annie watches as the car drives away. Lillian’s gone.
Megan comes up next to Annie laughing.
Annie and Helen are saying goodbye.
Helen is relieved, followed by an awkward pause.
Helen’s eyes light up, touched. She then glances out to the parking lot, then smiles.
Annie looks out, happiness comes over her. Reveal Officer Rhodes standing next to his squad car, like Jake Ryan in ‘Sixteen Candles’. Annie gives Helen a look of “How?”Helen just smiles and nods for Annie to head over. She does.
They kiss.
Annie walks around the car and starts to get into the front passenger seat.
Rhodes opens the car’s BACK door for her.
She goes around to the other side and as she’s getting in Rhodes pushes her head down like she’s under arrest.
He closes the door and jumps in the driver’s seat. As the car pulls away we continue to hear their conversation.
Rhodes flips on the siren as they drive off.