OPEN
THE BACK UPS
by CHRIS HENCHY AND ADAM MCKAY
THE BACK UPS
by CHRIS HENCHY AND ADAM MCKAY
It’s a perfect day in New York - blue skies and sunshine.
Just a few customers are in the bank as it nears closing time: A WOMAN WEARING SUNGLASSES WITH A BABY STROLLER steps up to the teller.
The woman reaches down and pulls a blanket off the stroller. The two other customers reach in and pull out SLICK SEMI AUTOMATIC RIFLES.
MUSIC: RAPID FIRE SNARE DRUM SCORES THE ROBBERY
The woman takes off a wig, REVEALING a man. ALL THREE ROBBERS LOOK IDENTICAL: blonde, baseball caps, blonde moustaches, sunglasses.
The Security Guard raises his arms submissively.
BARRY, the assistant manager, walks over and opens the door for Bank Robbers 1 and 2 while Bank Robber 3 keeps a gun on the employees and a few customers.
Barry leads Bank Robber 1 and 2 to the vault.
Bank Robber #3 holds up a bag.
All three Bank Robbers start to back out of the bank. Barry follows.
CONTINUED: (2)
He shoots Barry. Barry’s lifeless body falls against a sign advertising low, low mortgage rates.
SFX: Alarms sound.
The “Germans” run out and into a waiting car -- a late modeled Mercedes Benz -- and speed off. Cop cars follow in the distance.
Off come the sunglasses and wigs revealing three CHINESE GUYS.
CLOSE UP: wide angle lens shot of a big fat American made tire and fender coming into frame.
MAN’S VOICE I’m just saying a pinch of sugar cuts the acidity of the tomatoes.
We go inside the car to find DANSON AND MANZETTI -- iconic star cops (think Stallone, Willis, Jackson etc). Manzetti is on the phone.
A call comes over the radio.
Manzetti puts a magnetic light on the roof, Danson guns the engine.
Danson hits the tape deck.
MUSIC: ERIC B AND RAKIM’S “FOLLOW THE LEADER” KICKS IN.
OPENING CREDITS START
Danson floors it then cuts the wheel and drives through a park. We see the cop cars and the Mercedes speeding through traffic and DANSON AND MANZETTI POWER INTO THE CHASE overtaking the squad cars.
The Chinese guys listen to a scanner.
They hit the brakes and skid to a stop around a corner behind a delivery truck as the cop cars pass.
Two guys jump out and with surgical precision THEY PULL WHITE “SKINS” OFF THE CAR, REVEALING A SILVER NISSAN 300ZX. One rips off the Mercedes hood ornament and slaps on a Nissan one. In the back, the other snaps on a spoiler. They jump back in and punch it.
We see two POLICE OFFICERS in their car. They can’t find them.
Danson and Manzetti sit at the red light.
Danson looks across at the Nissan next to him.He sees three Chinese guys trying to look relaxed.Danson looks closer. We see what he’s looking at.
REVEAL: A MERCEDES HUB CAP.
Danson rolls his window all the way down.
The Chinese guys realize they’ve been made. THEY PUNCH IT THROUGH THE RED LIGHT SMASHING INTO A DOUBLE DECKER TOURIST BUS.
Danson and Manzetti almost get hit by the toppling bus and cut around the corner.
QUICK CUT: Body Shop Bill uncrumples in frame while action freezes: “Double Deck Tour Bus....43,450 dollars in damages.” UNFREEZE AND BACK TO ACTION.
MUSIC: FOLLOW THE LEADER kicks back in.
The two cars battle for space as they fly up Park Avenue. We see STORE FRONTS WITH FOR LEASE signs in the windows.
POV of DANSON as they drive to the divider on Park Ave. The Chinese bump Danson’s car. Danson drives up the ramp, the Chinese down below. THEY’VE LOST THEM.
We see in front of him the entrance to a building.
CRASH! Danson drives through the windowed doors and into the office building which towers over 42nd street.
They’re on the second floor of an office. They drive down the corridor, taking cubicles with them as people dive for cover.
They smash through the cubicle where an OFFICE WORKER is playing mine sweeper and we FREEZE AND THEN FLASH CUT TO: TWO WEEKS LATER: A MAINTENANCE MAN finishes fixing the cubicle.
We see the same OFFICE WORKER still playing mine sweeper. He doesn’t even look up.
UNFREEZE and BACK TO ACTION.
The car smashes through a giant window and BOUNCES DOWN THE STAIRS separating two escalators.
The car crashes through the glass and onto 42nd street.
Robber 1 looks in the rear view mirror and sees Danson and Manzetti pull in behind them.
Manzetti reaches behind the car seat and brandishes a large fifty caliber rifle.
Danson laughs. He’s having a good time. Manzetti fires the 50 cal at the Chinese. It’s like a cannon.
SFX: THUNK, THUNK, THUNK
The Chinese fire back with 38’s. Danson and Manzetti HIT THEIR BRAKES HARD, screeching to a stop at an intersection.
An OLD LADY PUSHES A GUY IN A WHEELCHAIR WHO’S PUSHING A BABY STROLLER through the intersection while all traffic waits. They watch the Chinese speed off in the distance.
A sign read BEAST TOURIST SPEED BOATS: “All of Manhattan in twenty minutes.” All three Chinese run and jump on to the boat. Tourists jump off at gunpoint. THE CHINESE GUN THE BOAT TOWARDS THE STATUE OF LIBERTY AND FREEDOM.
Danson and Manzetti pull up, seconds too late.
Manzetti hangs up as they watch the boat head out of the harbor.
The Beast flies across the water. In the distance is a waiting Tanker with a Zodiac raft next to it.Robber 1 points the nose in that direction.
Just then, the sound of their boat is drowned out by a thunderous noise.
MUSIC: AMPED UP REMIX OF FOLLOW THE LEADER
Hovering right over them is a HELICOPTER flown by Danson and Manzetti. They smile. Over a PA we hear.
Danson zeroes the helicopter in on the Beast.Closer and closer. HE GENTLY USES THE HELICOPTER SKIDS AND PICKS THE BEAST UP, lifting it out of the water.
Tourists line up on the bow of a Circle Line Boat and take pictures of the skyline. A MIDDLE AGED MAN TOURIST is there with his wife.
The Chinese climb toward the rails of the helicopter. One starts to shoot at Danson and Manzetti.A bullet hits the skids.
TIGHT ON THE SKIDS - THE BEAST SLIPS AND PLUMMETS FORTY FEET TO THE WATER and CRASHES into the water.Unmanned and still full throttle, it snakes it’s way toward a giant sign: “Coming Soon Trump Marina!”. THE BEAST CRASHES INTO IT WITH A GIANT, FIERY EXPLOSION.
The Circle Line passengers watch.
FREEZE ON THE EXPLOSION OF TRUMP MARINA. WE CUT TO Donald Trump on the set of THE APPRENTICE 8.
UNFREEZE AND BACK TO ACTION
The helicopter lowers the three Chinese into the yard. Inmates cheer.
A huge crowd of reporters is in front of Danson and Manzetti who are fielding questions with the Chief of Police, the Mayor and the D.A. behind them.
REPORTER #1 New York Post Online. Were you guys at all concerned about your safety?
Huge laughs from the press pool. Reporter #1 wipes a tear away and jots down the “quote”.
REPORTER #2 New York Times Online. Is it true that after forty-six million dollars in property damage that the robbers were caught with only eight thousand dollars?
Silence. More silence.
Huge laughs from all the other reporters.
REPORTER #1 You guys are the best!
REPORTER #3 Entertainment Weekly Online. Danson, Manzetti, how is your department handling the current budget cuts and lay offs to the the force?
Manzetti’s BULLDOG barks, CAMERAS FLASH, medals are pinned on by the Mayor.
WE PULL OUT OF THE PRESS CONFERENCE:
Danson and Manzetti enter the Precinct. Everyone cheers. Danson holds up the medal
A lot more applause. CAMERAS FLASH --
We PAN OVER through the crowd to ALLEN GAMBLE (Will Ferrell). He snaps another photo. His partner TERRY HOITZ (Mark Wahlberg) slaps the camera down.
FREEZE: MAIN TITLES: THE BACK UPS
Danson and Manzetti head out as LIEUTENANT MAUCH, 55, gives them a wave.
Terry watches Allen grab the stuff. We meet SCOTT MARTIN and RICK FOSSE - Martin and Fosse - two detectives, cool, connected and ready to be heroes.
All the cops laugh. Terry walks over to Allen who is typing with a big smile on his face.
CONTINUED: (2)
A UNSEEN FIGURE watches a MONITOR. On it is DAVID ERSHON, 40s, suave, being interviewed in a Bahamas type setting.
The Unseen Figure repeatedly rewinds it.
A SIGN READS: “9AM: GRIEF AND RELIEF COUNSELING - NYPD”
A THERAPY GROUP of police sits in a circle.One man, the THERAPIST holds a clip board. A VETERAN COP shares. Hoitz sits in the center, listening.
Other cops murmur -- “nasty”, “oh shit, I know where this is heading”, “why’d you split up, you never split up!”
Now standing and acting this out.
All the cops applaud and cheer.
Cops all cheer.
Everyone looks at him, stares him down.
COP #3 Why’s he even in here?!
We see this unfold.
Terry in cop uniform is guarding a tunnel.A shadowy figure is walking towards him.
We see Terry screaming “Stop!” Terry pulls his gun. The shadowy figure has a baseball bat.
We see TERRY RUN TO THE FIGURE HE SHOT IN THE LEG.As he bends down, the lights in the tunnel brighten and we see it’s DEREK JETER. Derek is wearing an iPod.
COP #2 (V.O.) You shot Jeter!
BACK TO REAL TIME
Everyone stares at Terry with such disdain.
COP #3 So do I. I lost ten grand on that game cause of you.
COP #4 Jerk off!
Beat.
COP #4 stands up and starts waxing the story.
COP#4 Okay so I’m undercover on a white slavery case against the Russian mob...
Some of the police reveal popcorn.
COP #3 Oooh, this is a good one.
The office is bustling with early morning activity. Allen is deep in paperwork. Martin and Fosse come and sit on his desk.
Allen tentatively pulls his gun out.
CONTINUED: (2)
MARTIN FOSSE
Up. Down.
Allen fires straight up into the ceiling. Sheetrock panels fall down and dust. Immediately all the cops pull out their guns. Some guys hit the floor.
SFX: ALARM goes off in the distance.
Fosse and Martin are laughing. Terry runs in, gun drawn.
SMASH CUT TO THE LIEUTENANT’S OFFICE
CONTINUED: (3)
Allen and Terry are seated on a couch talking to the Lieutenant.
Lieutenant Mauch reaches into a drawer. Allen puts his gun on the desk. Lieutenant Mauch pulls out a black wooden gun.
Knocks it on the table.
Allen puts the gun in the holster. It doesn’t really fit and sticks out.
Midtown - lunch time crowd, eating outside over the exhaust of taxis. A construction crew is destroying a building with a WRECKING BALL, front end loaders, jackhammers and lots of dust.
As the CONSTRUCTION WORKERS leave their posts, a SOLDIER type, 30s, buzz cut, in a track suit, jumps up on the wrecking ball.
The Soldier pulls out a TASER GUN and shoots off two electric prongs into the Foreman who convulses and hits the ground.
MUSIC: BAD ASS SCORE
We see the soldier is swinging the heavy lead ball across 5th Avenue. It crushes one cab, and sends another flying across the Avenue. People run for cover as the giant ball swings back and forth, narrowing in on it’s target-- The CARTIER FLAGSHIP STORE on Fifth Avenue.
The Ex-Soldier speaks into a headset, timing with the swinging ball.
The window and whole front of the CARTIER store SHATTERS.
TWO MORE SOLDIER-TYPES run and start cleaning out the Cartier window of diamonds.
Allen and Terry are working at their desks.
Everyone scrambles.
MARTIN/FOSSE We got it!
We HEAR Danson’s voice come over the radio.
Terry, Allen, Fosse and Martin turn back to their desks. Terry loses it. He kicks over a water cooler.
CONTINUED: (2)
Danson and Manzetti fish tail their car in front of Cartier. The Ex-Soldiers have loaded up the their CARGO VAN and are speeding off.
Danson and Manzetti punch the accelerator and give chase.
The Ex-Soldiers cut through traffic and SLO MO crash into a water fountain in front of an Office Building. The Van flips and rolls by the front entrance and the Soldiers climb out and run for the building.
Danson and Manzetti screech to a stop and chase after them into the high rise building.
Danson and Manzetti haul ass into the lobby and into an elevator. They hit the “40th floor” and “close door”.
As the doors close, an old hand reaches in.An OLD LADY talking to her DAUGHTER.
Danson hits fifteen. Both guys sigh.
Fifteenth Floor opens up. The Old Lady looks out of the doors.
She starts hitting a bunch of floors.
Danson pushes the doors open and they run out.
Stair doors crash open. Danson comes out, breathing hard, followed by Manzetti.
They both split up and scan the roof. Danson looks over edge to the street below as Manzetti runs over.
Their POV: Two Ex-Soldiers are on the ground waiting for the third. THE THIRD IS MIDWAY DOWN AN IMPRESSIVE ZIP LINE SLIDE THAT’S BEEN SHOT OUT OF THE 20TH FLOOR TO THE STREET BELOW.
They both lock eyes. They know each other only too well.
They both stand on the ledge. In SLO MO we see them LEAP OFF THE 40 STORY BUILDING, arms waving, feet bicycling. It’s glorious!
TIGHT ON the blur of drumsticks held by white gloves. RAT-A-TAT-TAT followed by the HUMM of bagpipes.
MUSIC: “Amazing Grace”
As played by the NYPD Pipe and Drum Corp during a funeral procession. We see COPS lined up in dress blues, white gloves - it’s an impressive turnout for impressive guys. News Crews cover the story as two horse drawn coffins slowly make their way past the crowd.
The Mayor gives a eulogy.
As we PAN ACROSS the crowd we HEAR quips from different cops.
...past another cop.
COP #2 I heard Manzetti has an eighty eight I.Q. -- that’s clinically diagnosed as “dull”.
... past another cop.
COP #3 ... I had a piece of art in my front yard. Real nice modern sculpture... Manzetti took a shit in. Thought it was a toilet. Not a smart guy.
The Mayor continues.
Lots of laughs. We end on Terry and Allen. Everyone salutes the coffins as the DRUM starts up.
Terry and Allen whisper to each other.
They both look across to see Martin and Fosse - also whispering, conspiring. Both parties catch each other looking and guiltily stop chatting.
MUSIC: TASTEFUL STRING VERSION OF Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days.”
It’s the Memorial Service following the funeral.A lot of people are eating baked ziti off of paper plates.
He hangs up.
Martin and Fosse walk up to Allen and Terry.
Fosse steps up into Allen’s face.
Terry steps up to Fosse’s face.
Bob interrupts.
Martin lunges at Terry. THEY START VICIOUSLY BRAWLING ON THE GROUND BUT QUIETLY, trying not to draw attention.
It’s the quietest nasty fight ever. Some other cops come over and start cheering on Martin but all in whispers.
CONTINUED: (2)
Danson’s WIDOW, 19, walks by. Allen nods to her with the whisper fight behind him.
The Lieutenant runs over and whisper yells at them.
He looks at Fosse and a bloody-nosed Martin, then at Terry and Allen.
A weeping WOMAN walks by being consoled by the D.A.
TERRY, ALLEN, MARTIN, FOSSE, LIEUTENANT Sorry for your loss...Hello Frank...Sorry for your loss.
As soon as they pass, Terry punches Martin and they go at it again.
The Lieutenant pulls them apart again.
The Lieutenant undoes his tie and pulls out a RED VEST.
CONTINUED: (3)
We see Terry walking out taking off his tie.Allen catches up to him.
He keeps walking. Allen keeps up.
MUSIC: TCHAIKOVSKY - Plucky Harp
Several dancers stretch on the rail. One woman stands out -- she’s beautiful and graceful. This is FRANCINE. A svelte, muscular, BLACK MALE DANCER holds her leg.
Terry and Allen enter -- clearly out of place.
The black dancer walks over.
Terry turns around and does an impressivepirouetinto a arabesqueinto a grande jete en attitude. He walks away.
Allen walks with Terry. Terry’s upset.
We see a Prius parked in front on a modest brownstone in a middle class Queens neighborhood.
Terry and Allen are seated at a modest dining nook table. The house feels like a Math Teacher’s, humble yet smart. Allen is showing Terry some paper work.
Just then Allen’s wife SHEILA, 34, comes in with dinner. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. She wears a sun dress and could easily be a movie star or model.
Sheila is seated and serving dinner.
CONTINUED: (2)
Terry says goodbye to Allen and Sheila.
They close the door but we hear Sheila as it closes.
An alarm clock goes off at 6:00 AM. Next to it is a badge and a gun. We hear news radio blaring.
We see Terry asleep in his bed. His bedroom is a mess of dirty clothes. He reaches over and hits the alarm off.
MUSIC: AC/DC “Ride On”
MONTAGE OF TERRY GETTING DRESSED:
-Jeans pulled up.
-T-shirt thrown on.
-Knife taped to his calf.
-Cool necklace.
-A dab of WARNING SHOT Cologne
-Shoulder holster strapped and gleaming Baretta locked and loaded.
-Topped off with a well worn leather jacket.
The doors fling open on a dusty old garage REVEALING a car under a cover. Terry flings off the cover - IT'S AN AMAZING 1970 DODGE CORONET - a classic cop car.Shiny black, cherry. He gives the car a little kiss.
At the end of the driveway, Allen pulls up in his Prius. He sees Terry leaning against his impressive Dodge.
MUSIC OUT.
Allen drives with Terry in the passenger seat. Both their heads are crammed into the car cause of its low ceiling.
Allen takes out his iPhone and makes a call.
Allen motions to the bumper sticker on the back of the truck in front of them which reads. “How Am I Driving 1- 800-DRV CMMT.”
He clicks off his phone.
The radio crackles in the car.
Terry picks up the receiver.
We hear Martin and Fosse crackle on the radio.
CONTINUED: (2)
Terry pops in a CD on the radio. Bad ass heavy metal kicks in.
MUSIC: PRONG’S “SNAP YOUR FINGERS, SNAP YOUR NECK”
Allen cuts through traffic with his Prius. He puts a little Radio Shack siren on the roof. It has a cigarette lighter charger that runs across his face from the roof.
MUSIC: CHANGES TO LITTLE RIVER BAND “REMINISCING”
Allen turns up LRB louder. Terry turns it off.
CONTINUED: (3)
Allen punches the accelerator and THE CAR SHOOTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET. Swerving in and out of traffic, going at least ninety.
WIDE SHOT as Allen DRIVES RIGHT THROUGH THE YELLOW TAPE AND INTO THE CRIME SCENE. A bag of white powder explodes in the air as their car hits it.
We hear the telltale BUMP of driving over a body as they stop. The entire crowds GASPS and stares in shock.The crime scene is destroyed.
Terry and Allen sit in the Prius as Martin and Fosse coolly walk up.
Martin and Fosse run the show while Terry and Allen stand with the crowd behind yellow tape. Fosse emerges from a building with a GUY in handcuffs. The CROWD CHEERS.
Martin and Fosse turn to the GATHERED PRESS -- light flashes, reporters, etc.
There’s a beat of silence --
Then the Reporters cheer. Several do their sign offs.
REPORTER #1 Looks like it’s prison biscuits for these criminals. But the real question is: Are Martin and Fosse the new Super Cops!? Only time will tell....
Allen pops in behind the Reporter #2’s shot.
An upscale restaurant. Terry and Allen sit at a table in as A WAITER prepares a Caesar salad for them table side. WE SEE THE WAITER IS ACTUALLY LIEUTENANT MAUCH.
A BUSBOY comes over and fills the water glasses.
Lieutenant is serving the salad, it’s elaborate.
ALLEN/TERRY Yes....Please.
The Lieutenant goes to serve another table.
Terry and Allen sit in the car eating sandwiches.
A call comes over the dispatch.
We HEAR sirens start up in the distance.
Martin and Fosse are mentoring a bunch of SIXTH GRADERS.
A CALL comes over Fosse’s radio.
Martin and Fosse look out to the kids who are passing around their guns.
Terry and Allen drive. They look up. News Helicopters litter the sky.
Allen hits the music:
MUSIC: Little River Band’s “Night Owl”
Terry and Allen barrel down the street, IN SILENCE WITH IPOD HEAD PHONES ON, clearly grooving to their own beat.
News vans screech to a halt in front of the Plaza Hotel where a dozen cop cars and police are surrounding the building.
Terry and Allen driving. Something catches Allen’s eye.
The car screeches to a stop in front of an upscale apartment building.
Allen is standing and looking at a residential building with scaffolding while checking his iPhone.
Terry gets out of the car.
Cop cars with sirens blaring screech past in the background.
Allen has his picture on his phone. Just then DAVID ERSHON, the man from the 60 Minutes interview, exits the building in a hurry.
The Gentleman starts moving towards the limo. Allen stands in front of him.
CONTINUED: (2)
Allen leads Ershon to the car. We hear their radio blare.
Allen pushes Ershon into the back seat and gets in.
Terry gets into the passenger seat.
SUDDENLY - CRASH! The Prius is rammed into from the side, knocking it onto the sidewalk. Terry and Allen are dazed. We see a BIG WHITE ESCALADE has just him them.
SFX: A CONTINUOUS PIERCING TONE AFTER THE HIT
Allen gets out with license and registration. It’s in SLO MO as the effects of the accident fade.
CONTINUED: (3)
The Escalade was driven by a TALL ARMENIAN and SHORT ARMENIAN (think Vic Darchinyan). Both wear suits and have mean looking faces but with big pleasant looking smiles. We ramp down out of the SLO MO as the two imposing men walk towards Allen.
SFX: THE PIERCING SOUND DIES DOWN
The hypnotic “pleases” allow the Armenians to walk right up to Terry and Allen. They REVEAL TWO LARGE PISTOLS under their jackets and get the drop on the guys.
They take away Terry’s gun, The Short Armenian takes Allen’s gun and sniffs it and then laughs.
CRASH! A BLACK RANGE ROVER slams into the back of the Escalade sending it flying. Out jump a SOUTH AMERICAN MAN AND WOMAN, (Think Ricardo Mayorga and Vivian Castro). Their GUNS are IMMEDIATELY REVEALED UNDER THEIR SHIRTS. The Armenians steps back.
Everyone has guns drawn, except Terry and Allen. The hot South American jostles them around.
CONTINUED: (4)
THE HOT SOUTH AMERICAN WOMAN STARES AT ALLEN FOR A BEAT, DRINKING HIM IN. Then she gets in his car and drives away with Ershon in it. The Range Rover quickly follows. SCREECH! They look over and one of the Armenians drives off in the Escalade.
It all went down in a matter of seconds leaving Allen and Terry with no car, no guns and somehow no shoes.
Beat.
We see a long lens shot of Allen and Terry walking towards us down 1st Avenue. They look tired and beaten. People give the barefoot duo looks as they walk.
Feels for his phone, nothing.
They walk for a beat longer passing some restaurants.
CONTINUED: (2)
Beat
Beat.
CONTINUED: (3)
Beat
We watch the two cops walk down the street barefoot.
Martin and Fosse are both trying on sunglasses. There’s a large tray and a HOT SALESGIRL. Fosse’s got a pair of rose colored Foster Grants.
Terry and Allen enter -- they’ve been walking the streets barefoot for two hours. Terry enters and makes a grand announcement.
Martin and Fosse look over interested. Both wearing sunglasses.
Terry paces, speaks and enjoys the stage.
The rest of the precinct starts to act.
CONTINUED: (2)
Everyone turns to the Knicks game on the TV.
Everyone in the squad room laughs and walks away.Terry walks over to the TV and looks at Ershon with his super model girlfriend, who we only see half of.
Allen and Terry are with an employee at the Apple Store, TIM LEE, 30s wearing the Apple iPhone shirt, cop demeanor surrounded by kids. They are standing at the Genius Bar.
Tim starts typing.
Apple Store EMO KID EMPLOYEE approaches Tim.
The kid walks off.
Terry and Allen grab a seat in the Apple Theater.
MUSIC UP: SADE “Smooth Operator”
On the giant screen images start to flash as a track that Tim recorded earlier, there’s amazing graphics, dissolves of photos, great animation.
CONTINUED: (2)
We see a PIXALATED PHOTO OF A WOMAN.
The presentation continues.
The BIG SCREEN is interrupted by “GEARS OF WAR”.
CONTINUED: (3)
...Back to the presentation.
The lights come on. Music stops.
Terry and Allen drive down the street in Terry’s bad ass big American car. It is pluming black smoke behind it.
The car rumbles and backfires.
He revs and the 8 cylinders light up like a stallion.
Terry pulls into a gas station.
Ershon and his Girlfriend, who’s face is pixilated, enter the house. The two Brazilians stand outside.
The door shuts. They look up to see the Armenians’ Escalade drive by slowly. The Brazilians hold their guns under their jackets and stare them down.
The Jenklow Art Gallery.
MUSIC: SOURCE: JAPANESE ELECTRONICA
Francine is surrounded by patrons and artists. She looks stunning in a designer dress and holds a glass of wine. TERRY WALKS IN, grabs a glass of wine and approaches her. He starts to put the wine on the table. A WORKER...
It’s a coffee table -- magazines, an ashtray, remote control, half empty coffee mug, wrappers.Terry looks closely at the price listing.
Francine approaches.
Francine’s BOSS, 52, comes over. He’s wearing square glasses, a Paul Smith suit jacket and T-shirt that says “I’M GAY.”
CONTINUED: (2)
Terry reaches down and moves a spoon a fraction of an inch on the coffee table. People scream!
FRANCINE/PATRONS Ahh!... Oh Dear God no!!... Sweet Jesus!!!
Terry busts out of the gallery.
The whole Gallery groans.
We see three OFFICERS in Hazmat suits scrubbing Allen’s Prius. It’s a mess. A tire is gone, as is the back passenger side door. Terry and Allen enter.
Everyone laughs. The head of the Motor Pool, OFFICER WATTS, 48 walks them to the car.
One of the Officers in the Hazmat suit holds up a plastic bag with Allen’s iPhone in it.
Terry and Allen are sitting on the couch of the Lieutenant’s office.
Lieutenant Mauch hands them each their guns.Allen still has a wooden gun.
Terry stands up, heated.
Lieutenant Mauch pulls out a folder.
He hand them the folder. It’s a bunch of cat photos for calendars, greeting cards, etc.
Terry and Allen walk down the hallway.
Allen looks through his phone.
Allen’s Prius is in front of a big house up in Westchester. They knock on the door. A really beautiful woman holding a cocktail answers the door.This is CHRISTINITH.
Christinith, Allen and Terry all sit in uncomfortable silence. Christinith’s cell phone sits on the coffee table.
Her husband HAL walks in with a tray of drinks.
Allen and Christinith get up and leave Hal and Terry.
Allen follows Christinith into the kitchen.As soon as the door shuts, she turns and attacks Allen.
From upstairs we HEAR.
Terry and the husband sit quietly. They can hear the activity in the kitchen. Crashing.
Christinith holds up an old snow cone wrapper.
Allen breaks free. He runs out of the kitchen.
Allen lunges for her phone on the coffee table.Hal tries to stop him. Allen stiff arms him.
Allen and Terry run out of the house. Christinith screams from the porch.
Traditional Irish Pub -- it’s packed. In the back room, guys hold their Guinness’, singing traditional Irish songs in a circle with heads down accapella.
We find Terry and Allen hovering over two beers, trying to listen to the messages on Christinith’s phone.
On SPEAKER we hear:
SFX: BEEP
We hear a conversation between Ershon and something that sounds Spanish.
More foreign language.
Allen looks at his phone.
They continue listening to the Portuguese speaker.
A OLD MAN taps his shoulder.
Allen stands. He stares at the floor, tapping his hand on his thigh.
Allen immediately swings back to the conversation.
The Old man taps Allen.
CONTINUED: (2)
Allen swings back to the conversation.
Terry starts to walk out. Allen starts to go after him but then jumps back into the song for one last line.
Allen runs up to Terry and stops him.
SMASH CUT:
MUSIC: SOURCE: NASTY HIP HOP PLAYS ON A CHEAP RADIO
A photo session is in progress. A CRAZY TWEAKER holds two kittens down on a table while, a SLEAZY EURO photographer snaps pictures. The room is dingy and filled with cages with kittens in them.
Suddenly the DOOR is KICKED in. In FLY Terry and Allen.
The Euro pulls out a straight razor and the Tweaker takes out a buck knife. Terry is on them fast. He blocks the knife from the Tweaker and cuts the Italian with the blade nipping his ear. WE QUICKLY CUT TO THE CUTE KITTENS WATCHING. Terry steps back causing the two dirt bags to collide and snaps the Euro’s arm.
FLASH CUT: INT. HOSPITAL PRISON REHAB ROOM - DAY
Six weeks later. The Italian is with a PHYSICAL THERAPIST he lifts a one pound weight with great strain.
WE CUT BACK TO ACTION SCENE.
Terry then grabs the TWEAKER by the neck and punches him super fast in the mouth three times. THE KITTENS WATCH. Terry then ducks down and smashes the Tweaker’s knee with a nearby light pole.
FLASH CUT: INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Six weeks later. The Tweaker is on the phone with his outstretched leg in a soft cast. He’s going over an insurance bill.
MUSIC: POGUES “Dirty Ol Town”
Reporters everywhere. Terry and Allen exit the building to flashes. Allen holds two guns and a kitten, Terry holds a bag of meth and a kitten.
Allen and Terry are in their dress blues as THE MAYOR pins medals on them. This is all FRAMED IN A FOX NEWS frame and corner bug.
Allen and Terry stand on the steps talking.
MUSIC: OUT
Martin and Fosse walk by.
MARTIN/FOSSE Meooow.....meow....meoooowwww!!!
MUSIC: AEROSMITH’s “Back in the Saddle Again”
Allen is talking on his cell phone while Terry listens to his iPod.
Terry and Allen led by an ASSISTANT, 25, enter David Ershon’s amazing office with 270 degree views. David Ershon greets them with a hearty hand shake.
As they sit down.
The Assistant hands Terry and Allen their waters.
Allen sips his water.
The Knicks score! We see Terry and Allen cheering from court side surrounded by celebrities. They both wear Knicks jerseys and hats.
Terry is mid-bite of a giant hot dog.
They throw down their beers and walk off.
Terry and Allen enter, still in their Knicks swag.
SMASH CUT:
On stage MAMA MIA is hitting it’s big number, “Dancing Queen.” We PAN ACROSS the audience and find Allen and Terry waving their hands in the air and swaying to the music.
Terry and Allen barge in. Ershon looks up from his desk.
While Ershon talks, Allen sips another water with fruit.
Ershon holds up two large, impressive tickets.
Terry and Allen look at each other - a lot of “Maybe”/”Maybe not” looks.
CONTINUED: (2)
Terry and Allen walk into an impressive building with “Securities Exchange Commission” over it.
We pan past a door with “Overseas Securities Division” on it and find Allen seated across from SEC Investigator DON BEAMAN, 54. Terry looks at framed college degrees.
CONTINUED: (2)
Beat.
Terry and Allen walk up to their car and get in.
A flatbed starts to back up to their car.
MUSIC: TENSE SCORE
Just then, giant straps are thrown over the Prius by FOUR BLACK GUYS IN JUMPSUITS. It's a professional group, precise in their execution - the leader has a big fro and a nose piercing. THE CAR DOORS ARE STRAPPED SHUT.
Allen starts dialing his cell phone. One of the guys pulls out a DEMAGNIFICATION WAND. He waves it over the car. Allen’s phone, in mid conversation, goes dead.
The car is then hooked up to the flatbed and hoisted up. Allen and Terry pound the doors, trying to get attention.
Terry and Allen are trapped in their car on the back of the flatbed being driving through Manhattan.They pound on the windows, scream and honk the horn. No one notices amidst all the street noise.
The guys still pound of the windows and yell but now with much less energy as they go through the Holland Tunnel.
Allen and Terry both have their seats in recline while listening to the cast recording of MAMA MIA.
MUSIC: MAMA MIA
Terry and Allen are both sound asleep as we see car lights strobing by in the background.
Terry and Allen wake up to find themselves on top of giant freight train, flying parallel to route 66.
We see railway WORKERS in the background who have just cut the straps off the car. Allen is in the foreground on a pay phone while Terry tips the workers.
The Lieutenant is on the phone in his office. Cut back and forth where necessary.
Allen and Terry are on a plane taxiing on the runway.
Terry and Allen sit with an African American SKETCH ARTIST, 34 in the crowded office. They drink coffee and look exhausted.
The artist works and works.
The artist holds up a rendering.
It's a police artist sketch of THE MOST OFFENSIVELY CARTOONISH LOOKING BLACK MAN EVER. Huge fro and a bone through the nose (sort of what the guy actually looked like).
The artist storms off.
BOB walks by holding his cup of coffee.
Bob walks away.
Terry and Allen look at their desk. It’s covered in potatoes.
Everyone laughs.
Terry and Allen walk to their cars. A Detective walks by.
The Detective walks away.
The apartment is decorated with streamers, balloons and filled with Detectives.
They shut the lights off and hide. Terry jostles with the lock and finally he opens the door.
TERRY IMMEDIATELY ROLLS AND POPS UP ON A KNEE, GUN DRAWN and SHOOTING. Lamps and framed pictures explode as everyone runs screaming for cover. Terry throws a couple of road flares down. HE GETS ONE GUY IN A HEADLOCK AND ANOTHER GUY PINNED ON THE GROUND with his foot.
Everyone in the room has a gun pointed at Terry.
The party is now in full swing with people having cocktails and music playing.
MUSIC: I FOOLED AROUND AND FELL IN LOVE
Sheila and Allen talk to Terry.
Allen holds up his Iphone and we hear the Morgan Freeman voice over app:
We see chalk outlines on the hardwood floor of a sofa, chair, TV stand etc.
It’s Tim from the Apple store.
CONTINUED: (2)
He walks over and takes the chicken fingers and a big basket of nacho chips.
Allen is on his Iphone.
SFX: THUNDER and RAIN kick up outside.
CONTINUED: (3)
We pull up from the roof of the building where a full living room set is being rained on.
Terry and Allen are sitting in the car across from Ershon’s building. Allen writes in a memo book.
A call comes over the radio.
Allen punches it and they tear off.
They’re tearing down the street. Terry puts in his ear wigs. Allen stops him.
Allen pops in a CD.
MUSIC: WALKING TO MEMPHIS by Marc Cohn.
Immediately Terry ejects and throws it out the window.
Terry and Allen pull in front of the building.A crowd has gathered. They look up 23 floors sure enough, a figure is there. It's Don Beamen.
A uniform cop is holding back a crowd.
Allen looks around and sees an ICE CREAM TRUCK surrounded by the onlookers. He runs towards it and reaches in grabbing the microphone for the speaker.
He turns it on and the PLUCKY CALLIOPE ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC automatically comes on.
CONTINUED: (2)
There's a crash. A body lands on the car next to Allen.
There’s a body on a table. The CORONER, 38, is there with Terry and Allen.
Lieutenant Mauch enters.
Martin and Fosse enter.
CONTINUED: (3)
Terry and Allen are dumbfounded.
Terry and Allen walk over to Mauch.
MUSIC SCORE: Grim cello. This is serious.
The Lieutenant walks off leaving Terry and Allen devastated.
Terry and Allen drive together in silence.
Terry stops the car. Allen gets out.
Allen walks away. Terry punches the accelerator and takes off.
MUSIC: SEASON OF THE WITCH BY DONOVAN PLAYS THROUGH MONTAGE
Allen sits at his kitchen table, he takes off his shirt REVEALING a T-SHIRT and drinking a beer. He throws his Iphone against the wall. Sheila, cooking at the oven, looks at him concerned.
Terry directs traffic in a blue police uniform with an orange reflective safety belt on. He’s defeated.
Allen is lifting weights and takes a swig of Jack Daniels.
Terry sits in front of his computer. After a beat he goes to Google and types in “crime.” But then he deletes and types “Scaffolding violations.” A ton of hits come up and Terry leans in interested.
Terry, dressed like a construction worker, measures the scaffolding, takes notes, talks to a worker.
A WOMAN walks down the street. A PUNK runs by and grabs her purse and bolts. WE SEE ALLEN COME TEARING AROUND A CORNER IN SUNGLASSES AND LEATHER JACKET. But the Purse Snatcher is long gone. Allen hunches over breathing hard.
It’s a lecture hall. A bunch of Economics equations on the board and a professor lecturing. In the back of the room is Terry taking notes.
Two PUNKS hold a gun at a DELI OWNER. They grab money from the register and run. ALLEN COMES RUNNING AFTER THEM. He chucks a garbage can lid at their feet, knocking them both over. In a flash he’s on them with punches to the face and a foot to the gun hand to separate weapon from perp. He cuffs them and radios in the bust.
Terry sits up front he raises his hand, answering a question. People start listening.
Allen enters his bedroom wearing sunglasses and a leather coat. Sheila is there in a nightgown reading.Allen takes off his leather coat. He’s got a WIFE BEATER and a TATTOO.
He grabs her and they kiss and make love.
Terry is dressed as a Doctor in scrubs with a fake mustache and glasses. An ORDERLY leaves the room and Terry rifles through a computer typing in “Donald Beaman.”
Allen walks into Lieutenant Mauch’s office.The Lieutenant is at his desk. Allen slams his wooden gun down.
END OF MONTAGE
MUSIC OUT.
A Gala. Terry runs up the steps in a tux.
It’s a black tie event in full swing -- band, champagne, furs. A WAITER passes by and Terry takes a glass of champagne and crosses over to Francine.
A HANDSOME OLDER MAN walks over.
Terry puts in finger over her mouth.
Terry downs his champagne and heads out.
Allen stands at a gun bay. He’s wearing earphones. He draws his gun down on a target and empties it.He looks badass. He hit the switch and the target flies back to him. It’s unscathed.
He sends the target back and reloads. Just as he starts to aim -- SIX RAPID FIRE SHOTS hit DEAD CENTER on his target. Allen leans forward to the next bay. It’s Terry.
WE HEAR GUNFIRE from the other stalls. They look to the left and see the BRAZILIAN MAN AND HOT LADY in two bays.
CONTINUED: (2)
More GUNFIRE, they look to their right and it’s the two ARMENIANS.
Everyone notices everyone else and reloads for a full harried beat. Terry is first and fires at the Brazilian Man. WE RIDE THE BULLET as it tears into the Brazilian Man’s shoulder, knocking him back.
QUICK FLASH FORWARD: INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY
The Brazilian Man is being treated by a Doctor.
The Brazilian punches the Doctor, grabs medicine and runs.
BACK TO ACTION. The Armenians run to the far side of the target range hiding behind targets. Allen ducks behind sand bags and fires at that, missing every time.
Martin and Fosse and other detectives listen to the dispatch. You can HEAR the gunfire. Everyone’s laughing.
The Hot Brazilian Lady and Terry exchange fire. She’s tough. She cart wheels behind a target and Terry hits it dead center four times but she’s already headed out the door.
Allen squeezes off a shot at the Armenians and grazes one on the thigh. He grabs his wound and they scamper out of the range.
It’s suddenly quiet.
There’s an eerie silence.
Lieutenant Mauch addresses.
We PULL BACK to see Lieutenant Mauch addressing the staff of TARGET. Teenagers and old men take notes.
The Lieutenant see Terry and Allen standing in the back.
The Lieutenant takes a price tag gun and begins pricing coffee makers.
He stops pricing the boxes.
CONTINUED: (2)
Terry and Allen have got their blessing. It’s on.
BIG MUSIC UP: SLAMMING GUITAR AND HORNS
SLO MO we see Terry and Allen rolling up to a stop in the Prius. Allen is taking pictures with his Iphone.Across the way we see a gourmet cheese shop.
Bouzouki music plays, really loud. It's a small shop. Lots of wheels of cheese, lots of wooden boxes and cheese cloth and straw. There's a steady amount of customers.
Allen is tasting cheese and has a dozen sample napkins in front of him.
Just then, David Ershon enters the store.
The Salesman takes out a velvet covered cask.
He opens it up, it's the most beautiful piece of cheese ever. It looks like an ivory diamond. Ershon takes a big sniff. He's in ecstasy.
Allen and Terry move in on each side of Ershon. Allen looks only at the cheese.
Ershon gives the clerk his Amex black card.
Terry and Ershon stare each other down.
Ershon signs the credit card slip and exits the store with Terry and Allen behind him.
They exit the store and walk down the street.
Ershon stops and wheels on Terry.
A CARGO VAN pulls up. The three Armenians jump out. They make their way to the Ershon. David Ershon runs. Terry and Allen follow.
Allen slows and bends over.
Terry grabs Ershon by the neck.
Allen leads Ershon to the Prius. The Armenians rush at Terry who stands there calmly. Terry PUNCHES one in the throat, KNOCKS a TELESCOPING ROD out of another’s hand and breaks his wrist with it.
QUICK FLASH CUT: An X-RAY of a horribly broken wrist.
CUT BACK TO REAL TIME: Terry kicks the third guy into traffic where he is hit by a passing car.
QUICK FLASH CUT: INT. TAXI CAB - DAY
Six months later. The Tall Armenian drives a cab.He’s got a FAMILY of TOURISTS.
CONTINUED: (2)
CUT BACK TO REAL TIME: Terry kicks the last guy in the stomach and punches the last guy with a nasty right hook in the mouth where he knocks out several teeth.
QUICK FLASH CUT: INT. OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE - NIGHT
Armenian Number 3 is on a date with a CUTE GIRL.
He smiles to reveal the worst fake teeth ever.
CUT BACK TO REAL TIME: Terry runs over and jumps in the car where Allen and Ershon are.
Allen punches the accelerator and they pull out.
The Prius pulls out we see four MOTORCYCLISTS on low riding black Mercedes bikes. It’s the AFRICANS. One of them has a sawed off shotgun. He fires at the car ripping through the back window.
Allen skids to a stop.
Terry hangs Ershon half out of the car. He looks down the street and sees the four Motorcyclists tearing at him. A shotgun blasts at Ershon. Ershon panics.
Terry pulls Ershon in and Allen hits the Prius in reverse KNOCKING ONE MOTORCYCLIST OFF HIS BIKE with the open passenger door.
Allen slams on the brakes. Terry pushes Ershon out. Allen puts it into park and turns on the radio.
MUSIC: PHIL COLLINS’ You Can’t Hurry Love.
Allen kicks up his feet and opens up Ershon’s cheese and has a bite. The Motorcyclists rocket towards them firing shots.
Terry pulls him back in and Allen hits the pedal. Ershon snatches the cheese back from Allen. Allen leans in and takes one more bite.
CONTINUED: (2)
Allen cruises through a parking lot. The three motorcyclists are still behind him.
The side window is shot out. The Motorcyclists are all over them.
Allen turns and there are literally 80 MOTORCYCLISTS parked in the middle of the street hanging around.
As they pass through all the bikes follow the three Motorcycles causing a giant pile up. Allen tears off leaving them behind.
CONTINUED: (3)
Their car screeches to a stop in front of a brownstone. It has a FORECLOSED notice on the door and a REAL ESTATE QUICK SALE SIGN ON THE BRICK FACE.
It is a vast amazing space taking up the whole floor, sparsely decorated, 360 views, terraces light up.
Terry pushes Ershon onto a chair. A butler DEMARCO, 50, enters.
They stroll around the apartment looking at original Warhol’s and Pollacks.
There is a beat of silence.
Terry and Allen step away. They talk very close to each other.
CONTINUED: (2)
Beat.
Terry and Allen walk towards Ershon with hands extended for a big handshake and a hug.
Demarco pops a bottle of champagne. They all toast.
The fax machine is ringing off the hook. Pages are coming forward. Terry, Allen and Ershon are huddled over a desk looking at paper work and still sipping champagne.
They both sign.
Ershon press the conference button on the phone.
We hear voices on the phone.
LAWYER #2 (V.O.) This is Eileen Shapp from Gerland, Shapp and Quentin.
FOREIGN BANKER #2 (V.O.) This is Dmetri Wirkin from-
Ershon hangs up.
CONTINUED: (2)
Terry and Allen are inside a stunning wine room with Ershon in tow.
MUSIC: ELLA FITZGERALD
QUICK CUT; Allen on the phone.
QUICK CUT; Terry on the phone.
Allen walks back and forth while DeMarco takes notes in the amazing kitchen.
We see Terry locking Ershon into a guest bedroom.
The guys stand in the mirror in designer tuxedos.
The doorbell rings.
A beautiful dinner. Allen pours a glass of wine, Sheila sips it
Francine sits with Terry.
Francine goes up to him -- they’re close for the first time in twenty years. Terry is dizzy.
DeMarco walks in carrying a tray.
Sheila is now just in her bra. She and Allen are kissing.
Sheila stands there, beautiful.
Ershon sits in his room and types into his computer in Chinese characters. The computer screen: CHINA AIR.
He switches screens and goes to a KIDS PARTY PLANNER. Ershon picks up the phone.
Terry and Allen stumble into the kitchen.DeMarco pours them fresh orange juice. Sheila's up, reading the paper.
Terry grabs a cup of coffee. Francine runs through, rushed.
She gives Terry a kiss and leaves.
Allen walks over to Ershon’s room.
Allen opens the door. He sees Ershon STANDING on the WINDOW LEDGE about to JUMP.
Allen moves towards Ershon just as he lets himself fall.
Terry runs over.
Terry and Allen look over the edge to see a BOUNCY CASTLE perfectly placed to break his fall.
Ershon climbs off the bouncy castle. There's a man dressed as a PRINCE. He watches Ershon run by
Ershon jumps into a waiting car.
Allen walks over to the desk phone and hits redial.
VOICE (in Chinese) Air China.
Allen works his iPhone.
Allen scans it.
ERSHON’s SUV heads down the Westside Highway.A SUV PULLS in BEHIND them. Then ANOTHER SUV. Window are rolled down REVEALING the Armenians in one and the Africans in the other. They all carry Tech-Nines.
The three cars star jockeying for position heading down the Westside Highway. They exchange gunfire - windows are blown out. Cabs skid out of the way.
Terry and Allen's car swings in behind them.The Foursome tear down the Westside Highway.
Terry drives. Allen is on the radio.
Terry pulls out a CD and puts it in the player.They shout their conversation of the engine noise.
Allen hits play. IT’S A MASH-UP BETWEEN LITTLE RIVER BAND AND METALLICA -- it kicks hard.
Immediately, the Brazilians are behind them. The hot Brazilian blows Allen a kiss and then they RAM the Prius.
Terry and Allen’s car spins out of control toward a truck with two SKATER DUDES UNLOADING A SKATE BOARD RAMP.The skaters see Terry and Allen’s car careening for them. They drop the ramp and jump away.
IN SLO MO we see the car drive right up the ramp and flip over, landing on their roof. Hard.
MUSIC OUT
From Terry and Allen’s UPSIDE DOWN POV -- they watch as the Brazilians, Armenians, Africans, cop cars and Ershon all tear off into the distance.
Terry and Allen climb out of the car. Terry looks over at the Javitt’s Convention Center. On the front sign it reads “XXX ADULT CONVENTION, KNIFE AND GUN SHOW, AND CAR AND MOTORCYCLE SHOW.”
Terry runs over to the Javitt’s Center.
Terry COMES SMASHING THROUGH THE MAIN WINDOW on a crazy SPIDER THREE WHEELED MOTORCYCLE with a pump action shot gun with a laser scope on it and PORN STAR BRIANNA BANKS SITTING ON THE BACK.
MUSIC: KICKING POP THRASH
After a beat Allen comes tearing around from the back in a TESLA SPORTS CAR with a SHOCK GRENADE GUN.
They both gun it and tear down town.
The Lieutenant is MASSAGING A MIDDLE AGED WOMAN in a day spa.
He storms off.
Martin is over Fosse’s shoulder studying a computer screen (unseen).
Fosse hits a button. They both scream with glee.
FOSSE/MARTIN Clean shaven! I love this site.
They both go back to the screen.
News choppers jam the skyline.
Ershon barrelling down the street while being shot up by gun men in the two SUVs.
Suddenly the back tire of the Armenian SUV blows up and Terry comes rocketing up on his bike with his sighted shot gun. The Armenian SUV is then rammed and we see Allen in his Tesla.
We see BRAZILIAN HOT LADY AND TOUGH GUY in the front seat. It's chaos set to cranking music. Terry and Allen talk to each via Bluetooths.
New York Police Academy Cadet Graduation services are in progress. A HIGH RANKING OFFICER is talking to a sea of new Cadets and their proud parents. In the background we hear SIRENS, HORNS, CRASHING.
Just then, Ershon's car crashes through the back of the stage. Immediately following are the SUVs, Terry's motorcycle, Allen's Tesla. The Squad Cars chasing another SUV. Two of SUVs crash off the stage and come to an abrupt stop.
All the cadets descend on the security forces in the SUVs. They BEAT THE CRAP out of the Armenians and the Africans.
Terry comes upon the SUV and Ershon pulling up to the West side Helipad. A CHOPPER IS WAITING.
Allen comes barrelling around a corner and comes screaming up.
They're seconds too late. Ershon is GETTING IN the HELICOPTER. The Brazilians are pulling up.
The Helicopter's blades spin, Ershon climbs in. Allen drives his Tesla, skids to a stop.
Terry takes off his helmet, watches in disgust.He looks at Allen's car, perfectly positioned. TIGHT on Terry's eyes. TIGHT on Allen's eyes. TIGHT on Terry as he nods 'yes'. TIGHT on Allen as he nods 'no'. Terry puts back on his helmet and revs the throttle.
Terry locks the brake as the back tires burn rubber and then pops the clutch. Allen's eyes grow huge as Terry full speed comes right at him. At the last millisecond, TERRY POPS A WHEELIE USING the TESLA like a RAMP, shooting himself in to the air. Terry in SLO MO sails toward the rising helicopter. COPS, ALLEN, BAD GUYS all stare, frozen. Terry sails, separating from his bike.
With one hand he cocks his shot gun, the other, he reaches for the door to the helicopter. It's poetry. Then in REAL TIME, TERRY SLAMS HEAD FIRST INTO THE HELICOPTER GLASS AND FALLS FORTY FEET to the water.
Allen dives into the water.
In the background we see the helicopter corkscrew from the impact and fall into the water with a huge violent splash. Police Cars pull in and block the Brazilian’s van from leaving.
Harbor Patrol boats circle the helicopter. ALLEN AND TERRY STAND WET WITH BLANKETS BY THE EDGE OF THE PIER. Uniformed police lead away the Brazilians. As they pass Terry and Allen THE HOT BRAZILIAN LADY BREAKS AWAY AND KISSES ALLEN.
The police pull her away and towards the Paddy Wagon.
Ershon is handed over to Terry and Allen.
Allen puts cuffs on Ershon.
We pull out as rights are read.
The Mayor, the D.A., Allen, Terry, Lieutenant Mauch and two SEC OFFICIALS sit at a large conference table. Ershon sits at the far end of the table with handcuffs on.
SEC OFFICIAL #1 Ershon is tied to a dozen international banks not to mention at least five major domestic banks that have received bailout funds are finally showing signs of recovery.
Allen clicks on Facebook. It shows on a large screen.
We see the spinning pin wheel on the screen. Everyone waits.
The pin wheel stops. Everyone leans in.
TIGHT ON SCREEN we see it’s a Facebook Page for David E. There’s one video imbed which Allen clicks on.
The beginning of Rob Schneider’s CHICK MAGNET starts. Rob Schneider wears a big pimp hat and spills a drink on a women’s breasts.
CONTINUED: (2)
We see that Bob is in the room too with a cup of coffee.
Another SEC Official walks in and hands papers to Official #1.
SEC OFFICIAL #1 More bad news. Our lawyers have been pouring over the charges against Ershon and because of a bill passed in ‘01 concerning international banking regulations, technically speaking David Ershon hasn’t done anything illegal.
Ershon stands up and SEC Official #2 unlocks his handcuffs.
Allen puts a bunch of paper work on the table.
He starts pushing forward immaculate files.
The D.A. looks at the paperwork.
CONTINUED: (3)
Terry and Allen exit and walk down the steps. There is no press conference. But across the way Martin and Fosse stand in front of three dozen reporters.
REPORTER #1 When did you realize that Brazilian terrorists were in the city?
Terry and Allen sit on the fountains on Sixth Avenue and 51st eating gyros. A STRANGE GUY walks up them in silhouette from the sun.
The Strange Guys steps out of the sun, it’s DEREK JETER.
Derek hands them a folder.
Derek walks off feeding pigeons like a street person.
MUSIC UP: Pink Floyd’s, “Money” covered by Mos Def.
They’re driving off in the battered Tesla, heading down the Westside Highway towards Wall Street.Allen reads the file.
ROLL CREDITS