The Goonies enter. Looking• around. Everything is SILENT.
DESERTED. Chunk races inside and starts pulling at
everybody's clothing, trying to signal them with bizarre
hand signs and wild descriptive gestures that make him look
totally not of this earth. He finally gets out a FEWWORDS.
CHUNK
Guys ... g:uys ... we gotta' get outta' here! ! · I just saw the--
Chunk is INTERRUPTEDby the SOUND OF A SLAMMINGDOOR! The
kids nearly JUMP out of their skin! They turn to the
DIRECTION of the sound!
The SHADOW of a person stands bythe restaurant door. The
person has JUST CLOSEDthe door. They step FORWARD. INTO
TEE LIGHT. IT IS MAMA FRATELLI! We immediately RECOGNIZE
HER from the earlier JAIL BREAK. She GLARES.at the boys.
MAMA
· How long youi.poys beenat .that ·. window?
MOUTH
(trembling)
L-L-L-L-Long enough to see that this place needs about 400 Roach Motels.
Immediately, Mama takes a strong dislike to Mouth. Chunk is
in the background frantically signaling and *
mouthing ... 'don't piss her off'. She LEADSthe boys to a
table. She CALLSto the back room.
63 MAMA 63
(Cont'd) Jake ..• we got customers.
We hear a LOUDTHUMP from the back room. rollowed by Jake's
VOICE.
JAKE (O.S.)
Whattayou' mean customers!?! This ain't no rest-
Jake pokes his head out. He sees the KIDS. He PAUSES.
MUTTERINGunder his breath.
JAKE
Shit.
Mama SNAPSher fingers at her son.
MAMA
Now go on. Get in the kitchen. Warm up the stove.
Jake RELUCTANTLYwalks to the kitchen. He walks PAST the
Goon kids. Jake GLARES dpwn at·the kids. Eyes filled with
ANGER. He enters the KITCHEN. The kids take their seats at
a CROOKEDTABLE. I.t is IMPOSSIBLEto eat a meal at this
table. It is WOBBLY. DIRTY. STICKY. Set with filthy,
YELLOWED dishes and RUSTYsilverware. Mikey LIFTS his fork.
It is attached to the table by a long, gooey WADOF CHEWED
GUM. Throughout this, Chunk is trying to gesture and
explain to the boys, but he is so excited, ONLYAIR comes
out. MamaTOWERS over the boys. FROWNING down on them.
MAMA
Okay ... we got a specialized menu here. We serve .one thing. "Fresh Fish Surprise". ,.
CHUNK
What.kinda' fish?
MAMA
(slamming her hand on the table)
I said it's a surprise!
CHUNK
(scared)
Okay ... Okay ... I'll take it.
MAMA
What about the rest of ya?
6 3 The other guys exchange NERVOUSglances. 63
MIKEY
Just a glass of water for me,
Everyone follows Mikey and ORDERSWATER. MamaNODS.
MAMA
Okay ... one surprise and five waters. 'Zat it?
MOUTH
(out of extreme nervousness, forces an Italian accent)
I'd like a' the Antipasto salad •.. the fettucini Alfredo ... the a Veal Scallopine .•. and a bottle of Botticelli. .. 1981. ·
An angry Mama LEANStoward Mouth. She GRABS his tongue.
BETWEENHER fingers. PINCHING. She removes a POCKETKNIFE
from her pocket. She MOVESthe blade to Mouth's tongue.
Ready to CUT.
MAMA
We got one more thing on the menu ... TONGUE!
(a menacing smile)
You boys like tongue?
The boys all SHAKE THEIR HEADS. SCARED. Mama catches
herself. She MOVES the knife away. RELEASING her grip on
Mouth's tongue. Mama smiles falsely, and walks back to the
kitchen's SWINGINGDOORS. Mouth COVERS his mouth. In PAIN.
Mikey GETS UP from his chair. He begins to LOOKAROUND.
SEARCHINGfor a spot on the floor, a trap door, anything
that would indicate a buried treasure. LOUDARGUING IS
HEARD from the kitchen. -~
JAKE (O.S.)
But, Ma... this was s'posed to be our dinner .•.
MAMA (O.S.)
Just shut up. Shtit up and do what I told ya'.
The boys at the table LOOKat each other. FRIGHTENE
DATA
What about those two guys who came in before us? What happened to them?
63 CHUNK 63
(Cont'd) (finally able to talk)
Guys, look ... if we don't get outta'
here now.·.. there ' s gonna be some
kinda' hostage crisis ...
(out of breath, gesturing in
a big whisper)
Garage ... four wheel drive ... bullet-
holes the size of Big Macs •...
MOUTH
Chunk, I'm startin' to O.D. on all your bullshit stories.
A LOUDSOUND suddenly echoes through the place. CHURNING.
BUMPING. WHIRRING. It sounds like a WASHINGMACHINE gone
BERSERK. The kids EXCHANGE a FRIGHTENEDGLANCE. We hear
the voice of a man SCREAMINGOBSCENITIES.. On the far
wall ... A DOORFLIES OPEN! A MANSTORMSOUT! It's FRANCIS
FRATELLI.
His clothes and body are SPLATTERED,STA.INEDby a DARKGREEN
INK. He is SCREAMING. BOILINGMAD. He is YELLING across
the hallway to Mama, holding up his hand .. A drawing of
Ullyses s. Grant has been STAMPEDonto his hand.
FRANCIS
r-
, . How the hell am I s 'posed to finish
'·"------·
up downstairs ... with that piece of
Smithsonian shit I got to work with?!
Francis sees the table of kids. STARINGat him. Francis
PAUSES. STARTLED. He COVERS the stamp on his hand and
DASHESback through the door. As if he were caught doing
something WRONG. We hear him latching several LOCKSon the
door behind him. The boys exchange another MYSTERIOUS
GLANCE.
The KITCHENDOORS SHOOT OPEN! Mama STRADDLESOUT! Carrying
a tray of GLASSES1n one arm. The metal CLEAVER in the
other. The glasses a.re filled with RUSTY, ORANGECOLORED
- WATER. Small PARTICLESfloat in the water. Mama
DISTRIBUTESa glass of water to each of the boys. They
STAREat-the water's ODDcolor.
MOUTH
'Zis s'posed to be water?
MAMA
It's wet ain't it?
(,,--\ 63 DATA 63
(Cont'd) (nervous laugh)
Yeah ... sure ... looks great.
MOUTH
If ya' like drinkin' mule piss.
Mama TURNSto Mouth. RAGEin her eyes. Mouth starts
pouring his water from one glass to the other. It sounds a
little like going to the bathroom. This is driving Mikey
crazy. He starts to bounce up and down on his seat,
knocking his knees together. He excitedly whispers to.
Mouth.
MIKEY
Cut it out, Mouth! This is the sorta place that has Daddy Long-legs in the restroom.
The kitchen doors FLY OPEN again. Jake exits. He is
wearing APRONS. Covered with BLOOD. His hands and arms are
also STAINEDwith blood. He is carrying A HUGESTEAMING
POT. A ladel RESTS in the pot. He RESTS the pot on the
table. LOOKINGat the boys.
JAKE
Who ordered fish surprise?
Chunk nervously raises his hand. Jake ladels the GROTESQUE
contents of the pot into Chunk's plate. The fish surprise
is made'up of a black, JELLIFIED LIQUID. Loaded with FISH
HEADSand BONES. Chunk FROWNS.
CHUNK
Yummy.
Mama looks into the pot.
MAMA
Is.there some left?
Jake NODS. Mama CHECKS her wristwatch.
MAMA
Time to feed your brother.
JAKE
Let Francis do it ... I fed it last night.
MAMA
Francis is busy.
63 JAKE 63
(Cont'd) I hate gain' down there, Ma. It--
MAMA
He's your brother.
(pushes Jake)
Now get goin'. 'Fore it gets cold.
Jake RELUCTANTLYwalks to a crooked wooden door. He OPENS
the door. It leads into DARKNESS. Jake ENTERS. We HEAR
him descend the creaky ~tairs. A nervous Mikey STANDS.
BOUNCINGon one leg. He LOOKSat Mama.
MIKEY
S'cuse me, M'am... Where's the man's room?
With his usual wild hand gestures and expressions, Chunk is
trying to convince Mikey NOi TO GO downstairs. Mama GLARES
at Mikey.
MAMA
Can't you hold it?
·CHUNK
(agreeing with Mama)
Yeah, Mikey ... can't you hold it?!
Devilishly, Mouth pours a thin, noisy stream of water from
one glass which he holds high above the other.
MIKEY
(beyond desperation)
LADY... PLEASE!! ...
MAMA
Downstairs. To your right. And STAY -to your right!!! ~
Mikey NODS. TREMBLING. Chunk still tries to CONVINCE
Mikey.
CHUNK
(whispering)
Mikey ... Don•t ..• You can't ... please ...
Mikey IGNORES Chunk and WALKSto the basement door. He
ENTERS.