. The sky is just turning grey-white. A cold wind is blowing, moaning
in the trees and swirling a fine haze of snow across the open valley
below. The guys all pile out in their totally wrecked tuxeécs and
cracked patent leather shoes.
STAN (cont)
This is not it! Definitely! This is not it, they changed it somehow.
MICHAEL
Why the hell should this be different from anything else?
AXEL
(riding over Michael)
You're full of shit, Stanley!
STAN
Who'd you say was full of shit?
AXEL
You're full of shit. You're always full of shit!
~ They lock in a glare for a moment. Finally, Stan avoids Axel's eyes.
- STAN
Holy shit, I'm starving!
AXEL
Fuckin' A.
There is a moment of tension. Then everyone begins eating cold bal-
oney, ripping slices of them out of half-dozen near frozen plastic
packages, dipping them in a jar cf mustard and stuffing them down --
everyone, except Nick. Mustard has dripped over everything, sotato
chips are littered everywhere and beers are being passed arcund. Axel,
his mouth half-open, full of food, stares at Nick in wonderment.
AXEL .
Let me ask you a question, Nicky. How come I never see you eat any- thing?
NICK
Sometimes I like te starve myself -- keeps the fear up. AXEL
It ain't natural. What do
you say, John?
JOHN
(as Axel goes for his baloney)
That's mine!
AXEL
You want it?
JOHN
Damn right!
AXEL
Gimme a Twinkie, Mike.
MICHAEL
Here.
Axel tears off the wrapper, dips it in the mustard and glomps it
JOHN
(disbelievingly)
That's mustard!
AXEL
(mouth jam- med full)
What? .
; JOHN
You just put mustard on your
twinkie!
AXEL
(nods)
You sound like a traffic cop! -.. Gimme another beer.
John just shakes his head.
STAN
(pointing to the location beside the road)
-Definitely! This is not it!
I'm telling you, they changed
it!
30s
ry
ey
AXEL
(unrelentingly)
You can't find your own ass with two hands! :
STAN
(shifting subject)
Jesus, it's freezing!
AXEL
Fuckin' A.
JOHN
(abruptly; remembering)
You know, we forgot to make a toast to Steven and Angela...
They all meet in a look, stand silently for a moment frozen in tab-
leau in their crushed rented tuxedos at the side of the Caddy in the
snow, the icy wind beating at their clothes, the dark mountains rear-
ing themselves over them, the air filled only with the sound of wind.
Then they raise their beer cans, drink.
Suddenly, they all seem minuscule, overwhelmed by the massive, black
Slopes looming up from the narrow road.
After'’a moment of silence, Axel kicks the trunk oepn and they all be-
gin taking stuff out.
Michael strips down right where he stands, and begins putting on his
hunting clothes.
Axel and Stan grab their own gear and fcllow the example of Nick and
John, who are changing on the corner of -:he seats.
Hunting gear is hanging all over the fendgers, bumpers, etc. They are
all fumbling, struggling, half-naked, half-insane figures...
JOHN
Whee-uu! NICK ° Jesus! It's really freezing, Mike! AXEL Fuckin! A! ‘STAN
You know, you got a really
terrific vocabularv, Axel.
AXEL
Fuckin’ A!
STAN
(shakes his head, then, to Michael)
Mikey, hey Mikey, you got any extra thermal socks?
Michael who is crouched down studying the hillside, lcoks over...
STAN (cont)
(rummaging around in
the mess of sorry-
looking things he
has brought)
Never mind, Mike. Never mind.
I got ‘em... Where the hell are
my boots? Anyone: see my boots?
--- Who the hell took my boots!
Stan begins plunging in the squashed baloney, crumpled tuxedo jackets,
potato chips, shoes, sleeping bags, etc.
OTHERS
Dickhea@! Watch it!
STAN
Somebody took my boots... I bought ‘em special. I know I brought my special boots.
Stan tears into the trunk again, comes up with nothing and is shiver-
ing now. It is very cold.
STAN (cont)
All right. All right, you guys. Whoever took my boots I want ‘em back!
Michael, Nick, Axel and John stand by the roadside while Stan is
still half in his tuxedo and patent leather dress shoes, draped only
in a gigantic red goose down vest that could only have come from
Axel. They have all seen this a million times, look at each other
and shake their heads. Michael's knapsack lies on the ground in
front of him and we can see that it contains an extra pair of Vibran-
soled mountain boots. .
AXEL (over)
I got a boot: for you, Stan.
(starts a move
as if to kick)
Here... right up your ass!
ey
STAN
(dancing avay from Axel's lethal kick Hey, Mikey, lemme borrow your Spares, your extra pair.
MICHAEL
No. STAN
(both hands in the air)
No? MICHAEL No.
The word hangs there in the air for a moment. There is a sudden
tension.
STAN
What do you mean, no? MICHAEL What I mean by no, Stan, is no. STAN
Some fuckin' friend... You're
some fuckin' friend, Mike!
MICHAEL
You gotta learn, Stan. Every goddamned year you come up here with your head up your ass--
AXEL
(interjecting)
Maybe the view looks better to him from up there!
(laughs)
MICHAEL
(continuing
over Axel)
You got no jacket, you got no
pants, you got no knife and you
got no boots. All you got is
that stupid pistol you carry
around like some wise guy cop.
You think that's always gonna
take care of you! That's what
you always think!
-
AXEL
What the hell, Mike, give him the boots.
MICHAEL
No. No boots. No nothin’... No more.
STAN
You're a fuckin’ bastard, Mike.
You know that? You're a miser-
able fucking selfish bastard!
MICHAEL
(snapping it out, jabbing his finger at the ground)
This is this, Stan. This isn't something else. This is this! This time you're on your cwn.
STAN
I fixed you up a million times,
Mike!
(to the others)
I fixed him uv a million times!
I don’t know how many times I
fixed him up with girls, and
nothing ever happens... Zero!
(to Michael)
The trouble with you, Mike, no
one ever knows what the hell
you're talking about! "This is
this"? What does all that bull-
shit mean, "this is this"?
(turns to the others
for moral supvort)
I mean, is that.some faggot-
sounding bullshit he's running
down, or is that some faqgot-
sounding bullshit! And if it
isn't, what the hell is it?
(to Michael)
You know what I think? There's
times I swear I think you're a
goddamn faggot!
‘JOHN
Hey, you guys--
.
(Revised 5/9,’77) 44,
STAN
(hopping-mad now)
Last week! Last week he coulda
had that new reé-headed waitress
at the Bowlacrome: te cdulda had
it knocked: And look what he did.
I mean, look what he fuckin' die!
Nothin'! That's what!
JOHN
Stan! Shut the hell up!
This last from John, strong, and it surprises us. Axel just throws
up his hands in a comical way. But Michael's stare at Stan is un-
wavering and it unnerves the others. Nick is watching Michael very
intensely.
JOHN (cont)
I*‘ll give you my boots. I'll stay in the car and listen to the radio.
Michael -- who remains completely unmoved throughout Stan's tirade
-- pumps another shell in the chamber of his rifle without sound.
The silence lies there cold and killing. John freezes in his tracks
and stares at Michael, his face gone blank. The color is draining
out of Stan's face.
MICHAEL
I said no.
Michael says this last with a hardness we haven't seen him exhibit
with his friends before. John looks at Axel, who is riaht behind
him, and they both back away. Stan, who is standing directly op-
posite Michael, begins to tremble. His mouth comes open, closes
and comes oven again. His hand beqins moving in his jacket pocket,
stops. Michael's face is grave. Suddenly, Nick steps forward --
he looks long and hard at Michael, crosses to the knapsack, takes
out Michael's extra pair of boots, walks over to Stan and throws
them on the road. Stan laughs. He is the only one who does.
OMITTED
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