McCoy standsover a blazingcampfire. Acovered pot
simmers onthe coals. McCoypicks up a panand bangs
on it witha spoon. He's slightlytipsy.
McCOY
(callingout)
Comeand get it.
Camera pullsback to revealKirk and Spocktwo feet
away.
KIRK
Knockit off, Bones.We're righthere andwe're starving.
McCoy grinsand crouches besidethe coveredpot. He
revels in theirundividedattention.
SPOCK
Bi-podalseeds,Doctor?
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McCOY
Beans,Spock --but no ordinarybeans.
Theseare from anold Southernrecipe
handeddown to meby my father.And
ifyou turn yourVulcan nose at
these,you're notjust insultingme,
you'reinsultingcountless gener-
ationsof McCoys.
SPOCK
Inthat case, Ihave little choice butto sample your...beans.
McCoy ladlesout the beans.Kirk tears intohis. Spock
tries a forkful.He findsthe taste strangelyexciting.
SPOCK
Surprisinglygood.However, itcontains aflavoring I amnot familiar with.
McCOY
That'sthe secretingredient.
Spock eatswith enthusiasm.
KIRK
Gotany more ofthat secret ingredient, Bones?
McCOY
Youbet your buns.
McCoy grinsand pulls outa bottle of bourbon.Spock
stops in mid-chewand McCoyfills Kirk'scup.
SPOCK
AmI to understandthat your secret ingredientis...alcohol?
McCOY
Bourbon,Spock.Kentucky bourbon.
Carefor a snort?
KIRK
Bourbonand beans.An explosivecombin- ation.Do you thinkSpock can handle it?
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McCOY
Couldn'tpossiblyaffect his Vulcan
metabolism.
SPOCK
Asyou are so fondof pointingout, Doctor,I am halfhuman.
McCOY
Certainlydoesn'tshow.
SPOCK
Thankyou.
McCOY
Thisguy never changes.I insulthim
andhe takes itas a compliment.
(pouringhimself
anothershot)
Youknow, the twoof you could drive
aman to drink.
KIRK
(innocent)
Whatdid I do?
McCOY
Youreally pissme off, Jim. Human
lifeis far tooprecious to risk
oncrazy stunts.Maybe it didn't
crossyour machomind but whenyou
felloff that mountainyou should
havebeen killed.
KIRK
Itcrossed my mind.
McCOY
And?
KIRK
Evenas I fell,I knew I wouldn't die.
McCOY
(indicatingSpock)
Ithought he wasthe only onewho's
immortal.
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KIRK
It'snot that, Bones.I knew Iwouldn't diebecause thetwo of you werewith me.
SPOCK
Ido not understand.
KIRK
(darkly)
I'vealways knownI'll die alone.
McCOY
(frowning)
I'llcall Valhallaand reserveyou a
room.
(shakinghis head)
It'sa mystery thatdraws us together.
Allthat time inspace -- gettinon
eachother's nerves-- and whatdo we
dowhen shore leavecomes along?
Spendit together.Other peoplehave
families.
KIRK
(wistful)
Otherpeople, Bones.Not us.
They dwellon this thoughtfor a moment.Then, Kirk
notices thatSpock has removeda sack fromhis back-
pack. Spockreaches into thesack and takesout a
marshmallowwhich he attachesot the endof a pointed
stick.
KIRK
Whatare you doing,Spock?
SPOCK
Iam preparing totoast a marshmelon.
Marsh melon?Kirk and McCoyhide their smilesas Spock
holds the marshmallowoverthe fire.
McCOY
Well,I'll be damned.A marsh melon.
Wheredid you learnthat?
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SPOCK
Beforeleaving theship I consulted thelibrary computerto familiarize myselfwith thecustoms of "camping out."The eveningmeal is tradition- allyfollowed bythe toastingof marshmelons.
Spock offerssticks and marshmallowstoKirk and McCoy
who play along,amused bySpock's dead seriousapproach
to frivolity.
McCOY
Tellme something,Spock. Whatdo we
doafter we toastthe marsh...er,
melons?
SPOCK
Weconsume them.
McCOY
Iknow we consumethem, I meanafter
that.
SPOCK
Ibelieve we arerequired to engage ina ritual knownas the sing-a-long.
KIRK
Ihaven't sung arounda campfiresince Iwas a boy in Iowa.What shouldwe sing?Bones?
McCOY
(thinking)
Howabout "CamptownRaces?"
KIRK
"PackUp Your Troubles."
SPOCK
Arewe leaving,Captain?
McCOY
It'sa song title,Spock.
SPOCK
Ah.
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KIRK
"MoonOver RigelSeven?"
McCOY
"Row,Row, Row YourBoat."
KIRK
Excellent.Do youknow it, Spock?
SPOCK
Idid not encounterthat songin my research.
KIRK
Thelyrics are simple:"Row, row, rowyour boat, gentlydown the stream...merrily,merrily,merrily, merrily,life isbut a dream." Bonesand I willstart it offand whenwe give youthe signal, jump in.Doctor if youplease...
McCoy takesa hit of boozeand clears histhroat.
McCOY
Don'tsay I didn'twarn you.
McCoy startsto sing. Kirkjoins in. Maybeit's the
bourbon butthe two of themsound prettygood.
KIRKAND McCOY
(overlapping)
"Row,row, row yourboat gentlydown
thestream merrily,merrily, merrily,
merrily,life isbut a dream..."
They signalSpock that it'shis turn to jumpin but
the Vulcanmerely regardsthem quizzically.The
sing-a-longgrinds to a halt.
KIRK
What'swrong, Spock?Why didn'tyou joinin?
SPOCK
Iwas trying tocomprehend themean- ingof the words.
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McCOY
(losingpatience)
It'sa song, yougreen-bloodedson of
aVulcan. You singit. The words
aren'timportant.What's importantis
thatyou have agood time singingit.
SPOCK
(sincere)
Iam sorry, Doctor.We're we havinga goodtime?
McCOY
(givingup)
Iliked him betterbefore he died.
McCoy rollsout his sleepingbag.
KIRK
Whydon't we callit a night andget somesleep? I'manxious to have anothergo at ElCap in the morning.
McCOY
Overmy dead body.
They preparefor bed.
43 LONG SHOT -CAMPSITE 43
Under a twinklingsky, thethree men settleinto their
sleeping bags.Faint nightsounds. Crickets.An owl.
Then...
SPOCK
(toubled)
Captain?
KIRK
We'reon leave.Call me Jim.
SPOCK
Jim?
KIRK
Yes,Spock?
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SPOCK
LIfeis not a dream.
KIRK
(with asigh)
Goto sleep, Spock.
They go tosleep. Stars twinlkeoverhead.
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