"SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD" (2010)

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

Written by

Edgar Wright & Michael Bacall

Based On The Graphic Novels by

Bryan Lee O’Malley

May 13, 2010

Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear:

Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table. STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic.

KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper.

YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts.

SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an unruly yet adorable mop of hair.

Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS.

Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story:

KNIVES CHAU, 17, cute and innocent with clothes to match, sits next to her mother, MOTHER CHAU, 45, demanding.

Knives DROPS her bag, books scattering everywhere.

Knives crouches down to pick up her books, grumbling.

Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM holding her books. TEXT appears in an on-screen box:

"SCOTT PILGRIM, 22 YEARS OLD, RATING: AWESOME."

Stars appear in Knives’s eyes. Scott grins heroically. Scott winks at Knives. Scott winks at the camera.

Back in the kitchen, everyone looks at Scott...

Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS.

DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. Scott smiles broadly.

An eager Knives stands outside. Scott opens the door a crack.

Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through.

STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives.

Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in.

Knives enters, looking around the rehearsal pad with awe: Bare bulb, ratty rug, drums, guitar, bass, LAME BRAND amps.

Scott throws Knives’ coat on the floor. Knives waves.

REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset, sticks in her hands.

Knives stares blankly at Young Neil, who finally gets it.

Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. Amps hum to life.

Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK!

GUITAR AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR, SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE...

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space seems to GROW with the music. Stephen Stills barks unintelligible lyrics.

Knives watches, jaw ajar. The song ends, feedback lingering.

Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus.

The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills’ room.

Scott takes a breath, turns to Young Neil.

Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny, one room apartment. He turns to WALLACE WELLS, dark hair, arched eyebrow, disloyal.

"WALLACE WELLS, ROOMMATE, 24 YEARS OLD, FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!"

Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he’s reading.

TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the one room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace, FUTON included.

Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside, starts texting.

RINGY RING. The phone goes. Scott picks up.

Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM, cute, peppy barista, gabbing on her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. A sign behind her reads ’If you are using your cellphone, you will not be served’.

"STACEY PILGRIM, YOUNGER SISTER, 19, RATING: ’T’ FOR TEEN."

Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless.

Wallace clicks off. Scott sinks into an armchair.

Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine, looking into the HOT GIRL’S EYES on the back cover album ad.

Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next to a hot redhead in happier times.

A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly...

Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. Uniformed boys and girls pour out.

Knives skips to Scott. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind.

Wallace pulls Knives close. Whispers.

Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION).

They punch and kick in unison, side by side.

Knives flips over Scott’s back in a COMBO move.

The game ends. CONTINUE appears, counting down: 10...9...8... Scott looks at Knives. She digs for quarters.

Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint, slices in hand.

Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. Hangers click in time.

Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync.

Knives speaks to a female clerk, surly with tats and specs:

"JULIE, 22, STILLS’ GIRLFRIEND, RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?"

Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack.

Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk.

Knives blushes and looks at the ground. Scott hugs her.

Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace’s apartment.

They literally walk across the street to a small house.

Wind blows. The light snowfall turns into sand...

...Scott wanders alone through a barren land. He falls to his knees next to a lonely cactus.

A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands. She wears fishnets, an army jacket, skirt and goggles. Her pink hair is funky but cool. She is hotter than the desert sun.

...SCOTT WAKES UP, sitting up in the FUTON.

Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott, rubbing his eyes.

A scruffy, goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace:

"OTHER SCOTT, 22, WALLACE’S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS"

Other Scott goes back to sleep. Wallace rubs his eyes.

Scott opens the bathroom door. Sunlight ignites the room.

Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library. He carries a stack of books for Knives.

The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott’s attention. He freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION.

The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON.CA to the librarian. Scott’s gaze follows the GIRL as she blades out of the library. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts.

Scott continues to stare at the girl. Time slows to a crawl.

Scott stands in the rehearsal room, head still in the clouds.

A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch.

Scott, Kim Pine, Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an icy Toronto street. Scott’s head is still in the clouds.

A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded house party. Both have red plastic cups in hand.

Scott exits frame.

Neil sips his drink.

Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek:

’COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)’

Scott sketches an incomprehensible drawing of Ramona.

Scott has already left a Scott-shaped dust cloud...

Scott scans the party. His eyes go WIDE. He CRUSHES his plastic cup. There she is...playing the wall...RAMONA! Aloof. Enigmatic. Hot. Scott sidles up and stands next to her.

Scott begins to babble.

Ramona looks at Scott blankly. He slowly skulks away.

"THEN HE STALKED HER FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY..."

Series of quick shots as Scott follows Ramona. He ducks around corners, spies from behind a much bigger dude. Ramona leaves the party. Scott grabs a startled Young Neil.

JUMP CUT. Scott RUNS towards Comeau.

"SANDRA AND MONIQUE, 24, TWO GIRLS COMEAU KNOWS"

The girls laugh. Scott does not.

JUMP CUT through a FLURRY OF FACES as Scott asks everyone about Ramona:

PARTYGOER #1 I heard she kicks all kind of ass.

PARTYGOER #2 She’s on another level.

PARTYGOER #3 She’s got men dying at her feet.

PARTYGOER #4 She’s got some battle scars.

PARTYGOER #5 Not to be entered into lightly.

We end on the surly JULIE (the rude clerk) who steps in front of Scott, arms crossed. Stephen Stills is with her.

SCOTT looks to KIM. We hear the sound of arctic winds.

Scott lies on the futon, WIDE awake. Wallace storms in.

Wallace flops onto the futon, landing next to Scott.

Wallace drifts off. RINGY RING! Scott answers. INTERCUT with STACEY sitting on a bus on her cellphone.

Scott looks to Wallace, who is out cold, cellphone in hand.

HARD CUT to MORNING LIGHT filling the room!

Wallace sits bolt upright. Scott sits at Wallace’s computer.

’CLICK.’ Scott walks to the front door. Moments pass.

DINGY DONG. Scott JUMPS to his feet.

Scott opens the door. It’s KNIVES CHAU!

Knives smothers Scott.

He plasters on his best fake smile.

Scott and Knives flip through the record bins, out of sync.

Knives buys a hip and trendy jacket. Scott sits on a couch next to the DO NOT SIT sign, still distracted.

Scott and Knives walk out of a pizza joint. Knives chows down on a slice. Scott doesn’t eat, his thoughts elsewhere.

Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION, side by side. Scott plays halfheartedly, his timing off.

Knives goes to flip over Scott, but he messes up. THE MIRROR IMAGE of Scott’s videogame avatar appears on screen.

NEGANINJA - squares up against Scott’s avatar.

Scott has his little videogame head cut off. The "CONTINUE?" countdown comes up...10...9...8...

Scott takes a long look at Knives.

Scott takes a deep breath. This is never easy. 3...2...1...

An excited Stills addresses Sex Bob-Omb. Scott tunes his bass, alone by the window, staring out.

Knives BURSTS into frame. Scott winces.

Stills gestures to Knives’ home-made Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.

Knives can barely contain herself. She grabs Scott.

We follow Scott as he walks in a daze to the bathroom.

Scott pees in a state of dreamy reverie. The PEE BAR above his head slowly reduces. He stares at himself in the mirror. Scott exits the bathroom, entering...

...a long, empty HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. Scott’s footsteps echo as he moves towards a classroom door with a STAR on it... RAMONA FLOWERS bursts through the door, skating past Scott and down the hall, PACKAGE from AMAZON clutched in her hand. Scott runs after her, around a corner, down a row of LOCKERS leading to...the outside of WALLACE’S APARTMENT???

Scott LEAPS out of the futon and RUNS towards the front door, THROWING IT OPEN and startling Ramona Flowers just as she presses the doorbell. DINGY DONG...

Scott stands in awe of Ramona. She gives him a pen.

Scott finally signs on the dotted line. And throws the package straight in the trash.

Scott finds Ramona waiting at the top of some stairs in the park. The Toronto skyline gleams in the night behind them.

Scott and Ramona trudge through the snow in the empty park.

They sit on some swings in the park.

Laughing, Ramona hops off her swing.

The snowfall gets heavier.

The snow gets heavier still. Ramona walks away.

A door with a STAR on it appears out of the whiteness. Ramona opens the door. Scott and Ramona fall into blackness...

Scott shivers at the kitchen table of Ramona’s cozy, girl friendly apartment. He watches as she slips out of her coat.

Ramona exits. After a moment alone, Scott ventures upstairs. He wanders towards a half open door. Pushing it open, he finds Ramona in her bedroom in her bra and skirt.

Scott covers his eyes and our screen goes BLACK.

Scott opens his eyes to see Ramona hugging him.

They look into each others eyes...camera circles Scott and Ramona as they begin an awesome make out session. Scott imagines himself soundtracking the kiss with a slinky bassline. Ramona breaks off, smiling. Scott is in heaven.

The slinky bassline continues as Ramona takes her skirt off, revealing black panties to complement black bra. Scott takes his shirt off. They tumble onto the bed and make out. Then-

Ramona curls up next to Scott.

They exchange a smile. Then without warning we jump cut to -

DAYLIGHT! Scott awakens. Ramona is gone. An arrow points to the empty spot in the bed next to him.

’RAMONA’ Another arrow point out that-

’SHE’S IN THE SHOWER’ Ramona steps out of the bathroom in a towel. Scott relaxes.

Ramona skates towards the front gate, Scott walking next to her. WAIST DEEP SNOW covers the roads and sidewalks.

Ramona shrugs and ROLLERBLADES through the snow...(somehow)

SSSSHHHOOP! Ramona skids to a stop, right back next to Scott. She hands him a note. ’RAMONA FLOWERS, 212 664-7665, xxxxxxx’

Scott looks back up. Ramona is already skating far, far away.

’THE ROCKIT, FUN FACT: THIS PLACE IS A TOILET’

Ramona wades through a grungy venue under the stare of young hipsters, reaching Scott at the bar. He stands with Wallace and Stacey. She holds hands with a guy wearing glasses.

Scott is so amazed at her presence, his social skills vanish.

Scott goes white. He didn’t even see Knives come in.

Knives pecks Scott on the cheek. He pushes her away. Knives looks kinda sexy, wearing makeup and new clothes.

LEONE STAREDOWNS all around. Stacey stares at Scott. Knives and Ramona stare at each other. Wallace stares at Jimmy.

Scott scurries off. We hear feedback from a mic onstage.

Scott runs backstage to see Stills obsessively flipping through a chart with hand drawn stats of their rival band.

Scott sounds less than convincing. He looks up at Ramona and Knives sitting with Wallace, Jimmy and Stacey in the BALCONY.

Crash and The Boys tune up. A drunk Wallace turns to Jimmy.

TRASHA, 8 year old girl drummer, gives Wallace the finger.

Sex Bob-omb peer at the band from offstage. Kim glowers.

Crash and the Boys play a whole song in .04 seconds.

Wallace yells from the balcony.

Crash continues his rampage of musical hate.

Kim Pine scowls harder than ever.

Sound explodes from the stage. The audience are stunned.

Stills paces backstage as the others watch the band.

As Crash And The Boys climax, Stacey turns to Ramona.

Ramona arches an eyebrow. Stacey turns to Knives and Tamara.

Scott looks up into the balcony, sees Stacey talking to Knives. He turns around and slaps Stephen Stills in the face.

Stacey and Ramona listen intently to Knives’ story.

Knives freezes, staring at the stage.

ONSTAGE: A DISHEVELED PROMOTER walks to the mic.

SEX BOB-OMB walk on. Wallace and Knives give the only cheers.

Scott nods vigorously.

ANGLE on Knives. She faints in the excitement.

Sex Bob-omb rock out, barely into the first verse when a chunk of ceiling CRASHES down and a SPINDLY INDIAN HIPSTER KID DIVES HEAD FIRST through the hole, finger pointed at Scott as he sails towards the stage!

MATTHEW PATEL lands onstage and glares at Scott through a lopsided fringe. He wears an evil grin and a jacket that borders on flamboyant. He drags on a cigarette (blacked out).

Matthew Patel leaps in the air and sails toward Scott.

Scott throws his bass to Young Neil and BLOCKS Patel with his left arm, then PUNCHES him across the floor with his right. Patel LANDS like a cat, FLIPS his fringe and GLARES at Scott.

Patel RUNS at Scott. Scott SPIN KICKS Patel in the chin and sends him flying into the air. They land in THE PIT, knocking hipsters down and squaring off in the resulting circle.

The LIGHTING GUY spotlights the fighters.

All eyes WHIP up to Ramona...

Patel attacks Scott with spin kicks. Scott blocks. Patel punches. Scott blocks, then holds his hand up for a time-out.

Patel attacks, landing kicks and punches. Scott evades and counter-attacks. Patel evades, then lands more punches. Scott jump-spins away from danger. They pause, breathing heavy.

Scott looks at Patel’s outfit.

Patel attacks again. They exchange furious blows, until Patel puts Scott in a choke hold. Scott looks up to Ramona.

The Lighting Guy SWINGS the spotlight to Ramona in the balcony. We see a sketchy childlike ANIMATED FLASHBACK.

The spotlight swings back onto Scott and Patel.

Patel levitates into the air and points at Ramona.

Patel SNAPS his fingers and launches into a BOLLYWOOD SONG!

Patel levitates into the air. Four hot girls in skirts with fangs and bat-wings appear in the air around him.

Patel and the Demon Hipster Chicks shoot FIREBALLS at Scott. He flips back onto the stage, narrowly dodging the attack.

The Demon Hipster Chicks unleash more fireballs. Scott dodges. The house drum kit is trashed behind him.

Scott hits the ground, dodging a third wave of fireballs. They explode Crash and the Boys in the wings.

Scott rolls across the stage, GRABS one of Kim’s CYMBALS and throws it Captain America style. It hits Patel square in the eyes. POOF, the Demon Hipster Chicks vanish.

Scott leaps into the air. Patel opens his eyes just in time to see Scott Pilgrim’s FIST racing towards his face.

K.O! Scott punches Patel. He explodes into COINS. They clatter to the stage floor. Scott lands and picks them up.

Ramona makes her way out fast. Passes Stacey.

Stacey turns to see Wallace and Jimmy making out.

Ramona passes Knives, who is being resuscitated by Tamara.

Scott picks up the coins onstage and counts them.

Ramona yanks Scott away. The Promoter ambles back onstage.

Knives is now wide awake, clapping wildly from the balcony. Her eyes scan the venue for Scott...but he is long gone.

A bemused Scott and mortified Ramona sit on the bus home.

Ramona takes a breath. Looks deep into Scott’s eyes.

Scott kisses Ramona. The studio audience ’awwww’s.

A bleary Wallace fries bacon. Scott bursts through the front door, a spring in his step. The studio audience applauds.

Wallace shoots a look at the idiotically upbeat Scott.

Scott huffs and helps himself to some of Wallace’s bacon.

At this point a sleepy JIMMY wanders out of the bathroom and helps himself to coffee.

Scott points bacon at Wallace accusingly.

Wallace points to a hunky actor on the cover of NOW magazine.

Scott grumbles off. Wallace turns the television way up. We see Lucas Lee on a payphone in some crummy thriller.

A shivering and annoyed Scott dials the payphone.

Scott checks what he’s wearing. SPOOKY MUSIC underscores.

A beaming Knives knocks on the payphone glass.

The SPOOKY MUSIC continues on in the record store.

Scott is on edge as Knives geeks over a standee for THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD: it features sultry blonde singer ENVY ADAMS posing and the rest of the band shrouded in shadow and mist.

The SPOOKY MUSIC gets louder, pounding inside Scott’s head.

Knives is so smitten, the word actually appears onscreen. Scott brushes it away. The SPOOKY MUSIC comes to a stop.

Scott walks out, leaving Knives in the aisle.

Scott sits on the bus alone, thinking about Knives. CROSSCUT with Knives still in the record store, in shock. ON THE BUS: Scott sighs, thinks of something happier... CROSSCUT with Ramona: rollerblading, her funky pink hair. ON THE BUS: Scott smiles, a little happier.

Sex Bob-Omb tune up. Kim spins a drumstick in her fingers.

Young Neil PAUSES his DS. Kim and Stills share a look.

Scott plays the insanely simple video game tune.

Kim mimes shooting herself. Stills unplugs Scott’s amp.

DINGY DONG...

Scott opens the door to see Ramona, now sporting BLUE HAIR.

Scott ushers her in, weirded out by this hair development.

Everyone mumbles back. Scott still stares at Ramona’s hair.

Scott fake laughs. Starts ushering Ramona out again.

Ramona lounges, reading a magazine. A tense Scott hurries around the kitchen area, preparing food as Wallace looks on.

Ramona goes to the bathroom. Scott drops the act.

Ramona returns. Wallace pulls on a jacket.

Scott stops Wallace at the door, with a panicked whisper.

’15 MINUTES LATER’ Ramona and Scott eat on the floor, picnic style. Scott has cooked garlic bread (and only garlic bread) for dinner.

’15 MINUTES LATER’ A nervy Scott serenades Ramona on his bass guitar.

’15 MINUTES LATER’ Scott makes out with Ramona on the futon. Scott smiles as she runs her hands through his hair.

Scott sits up like a shot. Ramona is taken aback.

A deep voiced NARRATOR chimes in. Earl Jones deep.

Scott disappears and just as quickly reappears, now wearing his dorky SNOW HAT, hair tucked tightly beneath the flaps.

’15 MINUTES LATER’ Scott and Ramona climb a STAIRWAY, long handrail between them.

Ramona and Scott finally reach the top of the stairs and NIGHT TURNS TO DAY, as if crossing a magical line.

Ramona looks up at the looming CASA LOMA, a castle surrounded by big, bright movie set lights.

A crew readies a shot of WINIFRED HAILEY held hostage by some GOON. A STAND IN takes the place of the leading man. Scott and Ramona approach some SPECTATORS, including Wallace.

The UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FANFARE announces LUCAS LEE as he exits his trailer, smoking a cigarette (blacked out). He skates towards the set, doing kickflips. The spectators go ’oooh’.

Lucas steps to his mark and puffs up into action hero mode.

Lucas Lee points his board at the GOON.

Lucas Lee points at Scott, who remains oblivious.

Lucas Lee stomps towards Scott, who gasps.

POW! Lucas Lee punches Scott, flooring him. Scott comes back up with a pen and paper, wobbly.

POW! Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. He nods to Ramona.

Lucas Lee THROWS Scott up into a castle turret, crumbling it. Scott CRASHES down through scaffolding onto the set. Lucas holds up his hands for a quick continuity photo, then stomps over to pick up a dazed Scott from the ground.

Lucas Lee PUNCHES Scott again. He slides across the wet-down ground. A SET NURSE sprays Lucas’ knuckles with antiseptic.

Lucas Lee wanders off. Scott staggers to his feet, punchy.

Scott spins Lucas around, only to find an identical STAND IN!

Scott turns to see the real Lucas, smirking on the sidelines. POW! The identical Stand In punches Scott to the ground.

Scott stands to fight the double. Suddenly, COUNTLESS STUNTMEN fan out behind the STAND IN, all identically dressed, all carrying skateboards and ready to rumble.

The Stuntmen ATTACK Scott Pilgrim with a howl. Scott PUNCHES through a couple of the boards, Tae Kwon Doe style.

KROW! Scott takes a skateboard to the face, followed by a barrage of crippling skateboard blows to his knees and ribs.

We follow the smirking Lucas to the coffee station. We hear the noise of punching and kicking slowly subside to nothing.

Lucas turns, shocked to see Scott, in front of a PAINTED 2-D SKYLINE BACKDROP, surrounded by many unconscious stuntmen.

Scott CHARGES Lucas Lee and leaps into a FLYING KICK. Lucas GRABS his foot and hurls him through the backdrop. RRRIP! Scott lands in a CRUMP, framed through the torn skyline. Lucas stomps over to him, preparing for the deathblow.

Lucas offers a hand. Scott goes to shake it. POW! Lucas gets him square in the mouth. Scott smiles through his aching jaw.

Lucas pulls down his shirt, revealing a skate company tattoo.

Scott points to the LONG HANDRAIL on the stairs.

Wallace taps Lucas’ shoulder and hands him his skateboard.

CLACK! Lucas GOES FOR IT, a perfect ollie onto the rail. Scott and Wallace watch as Lucas disappears from sight, sparking down the ENDLESS RAIL...HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...

Cut back to Scott & Wallace, impressed at Lucas.

HSSSSSSSSS...

Cut back to Scott & Wallace, very impressed at Lucas.

HSSSSSSSSS...

Cut back to Scott & Wallace. Scott’s about to say ’wow’ when- BOOOOOOOOM! A fireball appears from the bottom of the stairs.

Fist bump. Scott smacks his forehead.

Scott slumps on the couch, phone pressed to his ear. Wallace cooks bacon in the kitchen (no pants). We hear the OUTGOING MESSAGE: This is an automated voice messaging system. RAMONA is not available, please record your message after the beep.

Scott ambles over to the fridge and rests his head on it.

Wallace points to the NOTE Ramona scribbled which is pinned literally under Scott’s nose on the refrigerator: RAMONA FLOWERS, 212 664-7665, xxxxxxx

Wallace cocks an eyebrow. Scott slides to the floor.

Wallace crouches down to join Scott on the floor.

Scott’s face falls, completely shocked at this bombshell.

RINGY RING. Scott and Wallace look at the phone.

Scott picks up. A SEXY, NON-RAMONA VOICE REPLIES...

VOICE (O.S.) Hey Scott.

CLICK...Scott slumps to the floor. Wallace appears over him.

Scott grunts. RINGY RING. Wallace grins and grabs the phone.

Scott sits bolt upright, expectant.

Scott lays back down. FUCK.

Scott sits bolt upright again. FUCK! Wallace opens the door a crack. Knives shivers outside, pale and broken looking.

Behind Wallace, we see Scott LEAP through a window head first. GLASS SMASHES.

Knives sighs. Scott sprints away in the background.

Scott walks fast down the street, freaked out and paranoid. He sees five ’X’s looming above him on a pedestrian crossing and quickly diverts into an...

Scott rips the ’X-Men’ patch off his jacket, when-

WHZZZ - SOMETHING buzzes past Scott. He looks around.

WHOOSH - another blast of air whizzes by.

SHFFF - SOMETHING sweeps him off his feet. He’s pissed now.

SHWAA - SOMETHING slices the air in front of Scott.

Scott punches the air in front of him. Hits SOMETHING. A DIMINUTIVE DIRTY BLONDE dressed in a punk rock kung fu get up lands on the ground with a thump. She spins to face Scott.

ALT #1:

ALT #2:

Scott shakes his head, baffled.

PAF - the Mystery Attacker vanishes. Scott looks to the sky.

Scott is in his usual payphone, dialing Stacey frantically.

Scott hangs up the phone and walks two steps into-

Scott approaches the counter. Stacey has her back turned.

Stacey turns around, revealing herself to be JULIE!

Stacey taps on the window outside, mouthing that she has to go. Scott turns back to Julie, not happy.

(Note to concerned reader: Everytime Julie says "FUCK", a black bar comes out of her mouth and the sound is bleeped.)

Julie points at THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD poster behind the counter with concert dates at the bottom.

Scott retreats away from Julie and bumps right into... RAMONA. They share an awkward moment. She looks at the floor.

Scott hides behind Ramona as a lithe figure emerges from the steamed-milk mists of the coffee shop...the singer from THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD has seemingly stepped out of the poster.

"ENVY ADAMS, 23, FUN FACT: KICKED SCOTT’S HEART IN THE ASS."

The icy, platinum blonde fashionista walks towards Scott.

Scott nods. LEONE STAREDOWN between Envy and Ramona.

Ramona goes to order coffee, leaving Envy to fix on Scott.

REVERSE: Scott is instantly wearing his DORKY HAT.

Envy disappears into the cappuccino mists. Ramona returns.

Scott and Ramona walk side by side, sipping their coffees.

Ramona stops and kisses him.

Scott lies between Wallace and Other Scott on the futon.

A bleary Jimmy sits up between them all.

Scott stands (no pants). Music swells.

A deadly serious Stephen Stills addresses Kim, Scott and Young Neil. Ramona lounges on the couch...

Stills paces past the window to reveal...KNIVES CHAU OUTSIDE. CRASH ZOOM on her tearful face, pressed against the window. TOTALLY CRUSHED to see Scott cuddling with Ramona.

KNIVES frantically rifles through racks of hair dye and rants furiously into her cellphone.

Knives stands on her bed and continues ranting at Tamara.

Tamara helps Knives color her hair under the bathtub spigot.

Tamara turns the faucet on and rinses Knives hair.

Knives looks in the mirror: HER HAIR IS EXACTLY LIKE RAMONA.

Knives throws a long scarf on, looking sexy, eyes narrowing.

PUSH into Knives, as she plots. Tamara pops into frame.

We see a TEXT MESSAGE typing onscreen:

’YUNG NEIL ITZ KNIVES. OMFG UR SO HOTT’

A huge line of TOO COOL YOUTHS snakes outside a rock venue. A sign reads ’˜THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD - Sold out’. We hear loud music blasting through the open doors.

The LOUD MUSIC stops abruptly. Sex Bob-Omb bow onstage.

Wallace and Other Scott clap and cheer, drunk. The other snobbish kids in the audience shrug and disperse.

A disillusioned Sex Bob-Omb hang with Ramona at the bar.

Ramona excuses herself.

Ramona does her eyeliner. She looks in the mirror to see two images of herself staring back. Or is it...

"KNIVES CHAU, 17, SINGLE WHITE ASIAN" with identical hair, clothes and makeup, standing next to Ramona, looking hot.

Ramona exits, confused. Knives follows.

Ramona and Knives exit the bathroom together. Scott breaks into a cold sweat. Knives shoots Scott a sultry look.

Knives heads into Young Neil’s arms at the other end of the bar. Scott struggles with something resembling jealousy.

A ’WHEEL OF FORTUNE’ spins INSIDE SCOTT’S HEAD, with selections such as ’It was nothing’ and ’She was nobody.’ The wheel sticks between ’I gotta pee.’ and ’Who, her?’

Scott washes his hands and looks up to see TWO SCOTTS staring back, one with fringed hair and a wicked glare! Scott whips around. He’s alone. SPOOKY MUSIC begins...

A freaked out Scott returns to the group. The lights dim and the stage fills with twisting blue tendrils of smoke.

THE CLASH AT DEMONHEAD materialize, ENVY in a long black coat. Knives screams her teen brains out.

The BASS PLAYER steps into the light, no longer shrouded in dry ice, he cuts a handsome, striking ROCK GOD figure.

Todd flips his fringe from his eyes. Stares at Scott.

"TODD INGRAM, 25, EVIL-EX #3, FUN FACT: 9TH DEGREE VEGAN"

Envy lets her coat slip off, revealing a stunning figure.

Sex Bob-Omb, Knives and Ramona hang near the BACKSTAGE doors.

Julie opens the backstage door and huffs.

The group shuffles backstage. Scott hangs his head like a condemned man.

Knives makes a face that looks like this: >:O !!!!

SEX BOB-OMB lounge on a couch on one side of the room. Envy, Todd and Julie lounge on a couch across from them.

Knives in shock as she thinks a thousand thoughts. Envy burns a hole through Scott. Everyone else feels... ’AWKWARD’.

Todd and Julie glare at Knives.

Scott looks at Ramona. She is about to answer when...Knives stands up, POINTS at Envy and SCREAMS-

Envy nods at Todd. He PUNCHES KNIVES SQUARE IN THE JAW! OMFG! Scott jumps to his feet, FACING OFF against Todd Ingram.

Young Neil rushes to Knives’ aid. Scott boils. Todd smirks.

ANGLE on Knives. Her hair is black and plain as before.

Young Neil escorts Knives out. Todd sits back down like nothing happened. Scott’s face is a bright shade of rage.

Scott LEAPS across the table and SWINGS a punch at Todd. Todd THRUSTS a hand out and telekinetically FREEZES SCOTT IN THE AIR. Scott hovers, grasping his neck, choking. Todd’s hair magically forms into a FAUXHAWK.

Todd telekinetically HURLS Scott through the club’s wall! Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb peer through the newly made hole in the wall, to see Scott sprawled on some trash bags. He tries to keep cool, despite being in a lot of pain.

Todd lifts up Scott telekinetically and throws him miles into the air. Scott sails out of shot and into space.

Scott returns to earth with a THUMP. He moans in pain. While the others bicker, Ramona helps Scott to his feet.

A brief, scrappy ANIMATED FLASHBACK of Young Todd and Ramona.

Young Ramona shoves Young Lucas down a hill and starts making out with Young Todd.

Young Ramona and Young Todd wreck stuff. Nobody cares.

Young Todd punches a hole in the moon. It’s pretty crazy.

The FLASHBACK ends. Scott can only fixate on one aspect.

Ramona shrugs.

Todd appears behind Ramona - ready for another round.

Scott stands up - sort of ready for another round.

Scott CHARGES at Todd, who PSYCH-THROWS him back into the club. We hear a distant CRUMP. Stills calls through the hole.

Sex Bob-Omb skulks away. Envy grins at Ramona, wicked.

Suddenly, the bass-line from FINAL FANTASY 2 rumbles through the walls. Todd calls to a roadie.

SCOTT stands in an elephant’s graveyard of plastic cups and bottles, picking the hell out of his bass, amp pegged to 10. TODD INGRAM levitates, floating towards Scott with his bass.

Todd lands in front of Scott. BASS OFF! PICKS STRIKE STRING! Todd easily out-basses Scott, shredding him into oblivion. The enormous reverb LAUNCHES club debris towards Scott.

Scott slides across the floor and slams right into the wall. Todd LEVITATES, fauxhawk rising. He hovers next to him.

Todd DETUNES his bass and delivers a death note that BLOWS Scott right through the stage wall.

Scott crashes into a backstage food table. Todd floats toward him, savoring the kill. Envy appears beside him with a smirk.

Scott turns around on his knees, cringing, holding a cup of MILKY LOOKING COFFEE in either hand as a peace offering.

Todd floats to the ground, takes one of the cups and drinks.

TWO TRENDY POLICE TYPES BUST IN THROUGH THE WALL, making two more holes and pointing their fingers like deadly weapons.

VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Todd Ingram, you’re under arrest for veganity violation code number 827, imbibement of Half & Half!

VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 No vegan diet, no vegan powers.

Vegan Police Officer #2 flips open his CODE VIOLATION book.

VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 At 12:27 a.m. on February 1st, you knowingly ingested Gelato.

VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 Milk and eggs, bitch.

VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #2 On April 4th, 7:30 p.m., you partook a plate of Chicken Parmesan.

Envy gasps, disgusted.

VEGAN POLICE OFFICER #1 The deveganizing ray! Hit him.

The Vegan Police BLAST Todd with arcs of power from their finger guns. Todd’s fauxhawk deflates into a bowl cut.

Scott rises into a stance to deliver his killer line...

Scott HEADBUTTS TODD, exploding him! POOM! Scott dusts himself off as COINS rain down. Envy stares, jaw ajar.

A battle worn Scott limps through the hole in the wall. Ramona follows, shooting Envy a look on the way out.

Envy blinks, in shock. Julie pops into shot.

Sex Bob-Omb, Wallace and Other Scott munch pizza slices. Ramona and Scott, on the fringes. It’s an odd mood.

Scott sighs and holds a cold Coke Zero on his forehead.

Scott does not look okay. Stills coughs.

Neil is at the counter with a catatonic Knives. He shrugs.

Scott takes another bite. Other Scott whispers to Wallace.

The whole gang trudge to the after party. Scott limps a bit, lagging behind. Ramona falls back with him.

Scott and Ramona enter a big, fartsy, artsy WAREHOUSE.

We hear an offscreen distant ’˜nooooo’ from Knives.

They pass Kim. She’s also staring at Scott. Not lovingly.

Scott and Ramona have reached the bar at the party.

In the back glass of the bar, Scott sees his reflection: fringed hair, wicked glare. He catches himself.

PAF! A foot appears out of nowhere and KICKS Scott in the head, sending him flying across the dance floor. Scott looks up at his opponent, the MYSTERY ATTACKER!

Scott gets up. The three square off in a triangle.

’ROXY RICHTER, 23, 4TH EVIL EX : SAPPHIC AGGRESSIVE’

Roxy throws a SCORPION KICK at Scott’s face. Ramona CATCHES her foot mid-air. Roxy flips out of the hold.

The girls square off, clearing the busy dance floor.

RAMONA pulls a LARGE HAMMER from her purse.

An embarrassed Scott watches with the rest of the crowd.

With blinding speed, Roxy slips her belt off and WHIPS A RAZOR SHARP FLYING GUILLOTINE BELT BUCKLE at Ramona! Ramona CARTWHEELS as the buckle sails between her legs and SMASHES into a DISCO BALL. Mirrored shards fly everywhere.

PAF! Roxy vanishes as Ramona SWINGS the hammer at her. It smashes a speaker. Sound on one side of the room cuts out.

Ramona turns around just in time to see Roxy’s deadly belt SAILING towards her. She BLOCKS with the hammer. The belt wraps around it. Roxy HURLS the hammer out the window.

Ramona springs off of various pieces of furniture, LEAPING towards Roxy and PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE. Roxy REELS and SLAMS into the wall, leaving a dent in it.

Roxy points an accusing finger at the mortified Scott.

Ramona positions Scott into a fighting stance as Roxy CHARGES with deadly intent. Ramona puppeteers Scott into a furious volley of PUNCHES on Roxy. She staggers, winces.

PAF! Roxy disappears then REAPPEARS between Scott and Ramona, kicking them apart with the splits. Roxy then KICKS Scott into the ceiling. He lands HARD on the floor.

Roxy lifts her leg over her head, preparing to drop her boot of DEATH on Scott’s head. She grins at Ramona.

As Roxy’s leg descends, Scott reaches up with one finger and lightly TICKLES the back of Roxy’s knee.

GRAPHIC: ’TICKLE TICKLE!’

Roxy falls, still in the splits, throbbing with orgasmic meltdown. Scott watches as Roxy giggles between spasms.

Roxy screams in ecstasy before EXPLODING into COINS. A spent Scott is left standing in the middle of the room.

The party starts up again, a wave of gossip spreading around the room. People text furiously and point fingers at Scott.

Scott flushes red and retreats back to the bar. Ramona follows tentatively. The gossip echoes around them.

Scott swigs down his drink. Ramona tries to lighten things.

Scott seems immediately drunk.

EVERY GUY AND GIRL AT THE PARTY

HEY!

Ramona stops. Looks hurt. She touches her hair.

Ramona walks off and loudly announces:

Ramona leaves. Another crescendo of gossip echoes around the room. Scott’s friends gather round in a pity party.

But then - Ramona returns, handing Scott a LAMINATED LIST.

Ramona exits proper. Scott looks at the list. It reads-

’PATEL, LEE, INGRAM, RICHTER, KATAYANAGI TWINS, GIDEON...’

Stills flips to hand drawn sketches of THE KATAYANAGIS, identical Asian twins dressed like pretentious New Wave fops.

We reveal a grim, terse Scott playing a doomy bassline. The rehearsal room feels empty without Knives or Ramona.

Sex Bob-Omb and Young Neil load their gear at the venue.

Flyers cover the outside walls of another rock venue:

’T.I.B.B! SEX BOB-OMB!! THE KATAYANAGI TWINS!!! AMP VERSUS AMP!!!! TWO BANDS ENTER!!!!!! ONE BAND LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!’

’ACTUALLY, NO’

Two stages sit on either side of the auditorium. On one: a MONOLITHIC WALL OF ELK AMPLIFIERS. On the other, SEX BOB-OMB, with their dinky LAME BRAND amps behind them.

Sex Bob-Omb stare up at the Katayanagi amps, sweating behind their instruments. Stills looks into the audience positioned between the bands: a legion of identical INDIE TEENS.

Stills tries to run. Scott grabs him and pulls him back.

Kim points to RAMONA in the crowd. She is totally there. Her hair is now the BRIGHTEST GREEN, and she stands next to a nondescript MYSTERY GEEK in blazer and black rimmed glasses. They are chatting. She looks happy. Scott turns bleak again.

Scott nods at Kim’s advice. He looks back to the crowd to find the MYSTERY GEEK staring right at him. Then-

Disorienting LIGHTS and LASERS flash on the opposite stage.

A wall of FEEDBACK builds...THE KATAYANAGI TWINS appear, sliding onstage behind their respective keyboard stands.

KYLE KATAYANAGI, 23, is very serious and Japanese. KEN KATAYANAGI, 23, is serious and very Japanese.

Scott, Stephen Stills and Kim share a nervous look.

Scott is distracted again by the Mystery Geek staring at him.

Kyle Katayanagi hits a SINGLE NOTE on the keyboard, blasting an enormous wave of sound at Sex Bob-Omb. It’s so loud that it shakes the foundations and rips the lighting rig from the ceiling, leaving a huge hole in the roof. The crowd cheers.

Now an open air venue, SNOW falls onto the stage. An earth shaking BASS NOTE blows the dust off Sex Bob-Omb...

Scott and Stills get into battle position. Scott screams!

Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT, their sound blowing a mass of snow towards the Katayanagis. For once, they sound awesome.

Kyle looks at Ken. They share a nod. Ken turns their amps up to the Japanese character for ’11’. Their waveforms transform the swirling snow into a TWO HEADED WHITE DRAGON!

Katayanagi SLAM their Moogs. Heavy weirdness EXPLODES from the amps! The Dragon blows a BLAST of snowy fire that BLOWS SEX BOB-OMB OFF THE STAGE. The crowd ERUPTS into cheers.

Scott, Kim and Stills lie in a heap under their instruments.

Stills points to the ’Mystery Geek’, who smirks and whispers in Ramona’s ear. This is GIDEON GRAVES, 37, ASSHOLE.

Scott’s eyes reflect Ramona’s hair and turn GREEN. He struggles to his feet. The crowd slowly stops clapping as Scott pulls Stills to his feet, then helps Kim up.

Kim, inspired by Scott’s new hardcore attitude, comes in heavy on the kick drum. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!

Heads nod in time as Sex Bob-Omb ROCK OUT! Their waveforms transform a mass of snow into a GREEN EYED YETI!

The Katayanagis fight back with their future sounds and their Sonic Dragon stalks towards Sex Bob-Omb, slinking on perfect beat with the Katayanagis’ spooky music.

The Yeti and the Dragons CLASH at center stage, fighting in time to the music!

Scott and Stills bring their pick hands down like fierce PUNCHES. The Yeti brings it’s fists down on The Dragon. Sex Bob-Omb HAMMER DOWN THE FINAL NOTE:

The Yeti picks up The Dragon and THROWS it at the Katayanagi Twins, EXPLODING them and their amps into COINS.

’+999 ROCKING’

The crowd goes bazooky. A DISEMBODIED SCOTT HEAD appears, hovering next to Scott.

Scott looks for Ramona in the crowd, but she and Gideon are gone. Scott hands his bass to Young Neil.

Scott swipes the SCOTT HEAD and jumps into the still- applauding crowd. He can’t find Ramona, but comes upon KNIVES standing alone in her homemade Sex Bob-Omb T-shirt.

Knives’s unusally composed demeanor gives Scott pause.

Knives shrugs, different.

Scott and Knives lock eyes. Scott suddenly spots a flash of GREEN HAIR exiting the building.

Scott follows. Knives watches him go, eyes narrowing.

Scott chases Ramona down the street outside the venue.

A sleek black ’˜61 Lincoln Continental pulls up behind.

VOICE (O.S.) That’s the bad news.

GIDEON GRAVES appears behind Scott with Stills and Kim in tow. The Lincoln parks. A driver opens the passenger door.

Scott glowers. Ramona looks at the floor. Stills is ga-ga. TEXT: An arrow points to Stills’ crotch, captioned ’PEE’.

Gideon produces a CONTRACT and clicks a pen.

Scott GRABS the contract and throws it onto the sidewalk.

We hear SCRIBBLING. Stills has picked up the contract and is furiously signing it using Scott’s back. Kim shrugs and signs it too, before trying to hand it back to Scott.

Scott watches Ramona get into the Continental. She rolls the mirrored window up so Scott stares at his own reflection.

A cough. A meek Young Neil slides into view, bass in hand.

Young Neil signs the contract. There are hand shakes all round. Gideon turns to Scott and pats him on the shoulder.

Gideon walks around to the driver side of the Lincoln.

Gideon disappears into the Lincoln and drives off and Sex Bob-Omb drift away. Scott stands alone. He slaps his head-

Scott sits on the bus alone, thinking about Ramona...

Ramona sits expressionless in the back of Gideon’s car...

Scott tries desperately to think positive...

A smiling Gideon sidles closer to Ramona...

Scott walks forlornly down an empty street and bumps his head on a telephone pole. ’THONK’.

’OH GOD WHY’

Scott sits on the swings, staring straight ahead. Night turns to day. Day turns to night.

Scott remains in the exact same position.

Scott looks over to see STACEY on the swing next to him.

Stacey stands to go, gives Scott a hug.

Stacey heads off. Scott looks at the camera.

Scott enters. Flicks the light on. Gets a shock.

Scott flicks the light off. Over PITCH BLACK...

VOICE (O.S.) Sorry.

VOICE (O.S.) It’s Chris.

Scott sits in the chair, wrapped in a blanket. SOME GUY lies in Scott’s usual futon spot (wearing Wallace’s monogrammed robe). Wallace hands Scott cocoa.

Scott stares deep into his cocoa and shakes his head.

Scott nods.

Scott nods.

Scott nods.

Wallace produces earmuffs and a sleep mask.

RINGY RING. Scott stares at the phone. Some guy picks up.

Gideon appears to sit on some kind of throne. He calls off.

Click.

Scott turns, alarmed. REVEAL Wallace on the other cordless.

Snow blows around a steely eyed Scott as he stomps towards a group of desolate WAREHOUSES near the water. A lone HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette, leaning against a warehouse wall.

Scott shrugs.

The Hipster Kid waves Scott in.

The warehouse is empty. Scott follows the sound of music to a GATED ELEVATOR. Two Hipster Kids guard the elevator.

Scott gives the slightest shrug.

Scott steps into the elevator. So far so good.

Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON’S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT...the CHAOS THEATRE.

All HIPSTER KIDS have gathered in one spot of ultimate snobbery. They are legion, wearing identical outfits; Chuck Taylors, skinny jeans. COMEAU holds court among them.

Scott pushes through the idiot hordes. SEX BOB-OMB are playing onstage, now using SWEET BRAND amps, YOUNG NEIL on bass. Stills sees Scott walking by as they finish a song.

Scott pauses, looking up at his former bandmates.

Scott turns to see GIDEON sitting on a throne of cool atop a BLACK VELVET VIP PYRAMID. Ramona kneels at his side.

A COCKTAIL WAITRESS with a fringe appears with a Coke Zero. Scott takes the beverage and THROWS THE CUP TO THE FLOOR!

Gideon puts his arm around Ramona.

Scott gets into a fighting stance. Gideon loses his cool.

Sex Bob-Omb shake their heads. Gideon stands up, flexes.

Ramona and Scott lock eyes. A new power comes over Scott. He reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty vintage T- shirt and pulls a FLAMING BLUE SWORD from his own chest.

Ramona looks away from Scott. Gideon smiles.

Kim scratches her head with her middle finger before grudgingly launching into a number.

Kim clicks out a fast tempo. Sex Bob-Omb begin to ROCK OUT.

A HORDE OF HIPSTER INDIE KIDS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM, ON BEAT. Scott swings at them with his FLAMING BLUE SWORD. He slashes at them to the beat, exploding each attacker into COINS. Scott then RUNS up the side of the pyramid towards Gideon.

Ramona hands Gideon a cane with G-MAN engraved on the handle. He unsheathes a SWORD that could not have fit in there.

Scott and Gideon LEAP towards each other...Gideon descends like a vulture and SMASHES the sword out of Scott’s hands. Scott hits the ground HARD, rolling to a stop.

Gideon approaches, to administer a final blow.

Gideon raises his sword. Then from above...

KNIVES CHAU sails into frame and KICKS the sword out of Gideon’s hands. She lands awkwardly, tripping and falling down the side of the pyramid. Gideon chuckles.

Scott looks to Knives, both concerned and amazed. She quickly recovers and POINTS a furious finger.

’KNIVES CHAU, 18 YEARS OLD, FUN FACT: SCOTTAHOLIC’

Angle on a confused RAMONA standing behind Gideon.

Knives leaps up the pyramid toward a shocked Ramona!

Knives pulls out KNIVES and charges! Ramona fights defensively, redirecting Knives’ parries without harming her.

GIDEON lashes out at Scott. He can barely block Gideon’s tremendous blows, distracted by his duelling exes.

DUAL DUEL! The fighters weave in and out of each other, throwing blocks and punches, KUNG FU STYLE.

Scott lands a KICK to Gideon’s chest, sending him flying off the edge of the pyramid. He then BLOCKS a punch from Knives to Ramona and spins her away, separating them.

Knives and Ramona both look at Scott, neither amused.

Scott breaks into a flop sweat.

Knives and Ramona stare at Scott.

STAB! A sword pierces Scott’s chest from behind.

Scott slides off Gideon’s sword and falls to the ground...

TEXT WITH ARROW POINTING TO SCOTT: ’DEAD’

Everything goes white...SAND blows through frame...Scott’s eyes blink open. He looks up into a BLINDING BLUE SKY...

Scott sits up next to a lone cactus, rubbing his temples.

Ramona appears out of nowhere; fainter than before.

Ramona lifts her hair up on the back of her head, revealing a blinking CHIP implanted on her skull.

Ramona covers the chip, self-consciously touching her hair.

The winds blow harder, Ramona seeming to fade away.

Scott’s eyes go wide with epiphany.

Ramona slowly dissolve away in the sand.

Ramona is gone. Scott slumps to his knees.

DA-DING. The PILGRIM-HEAD appears and rotates around Scott.

We FLASH BACK to Scott swiping the PILGRIM HEAD, then FAST FORWARD through the breakup with Ramona and Sex Bob-Omb. We hear Scott screaming throughout this magical restart.

We FAST FORWARD all the way to Wallace’s apartment, as Scott enters. He flicks the light on.

Scott flicks the light off. On PITCH BLACK...

Wallace flicks on a bedside lamp, hands him the phone.

Scott hangs up and heads for the door, hardcore.

Wallace stands to high five Scott, exposing his junk.

Scott Pilgrim RUNS towards the desolate WAREHOUSES. The same HIPSTER KID smokes a cigarette against the wall.

The Hipster Kid EXPLODES into COINS.

Scott approaches the two Hipster Kids guarding the ELEVATOR.

Scott SPLIT KICKS them in the faces, knocking them out.

DING! Scott exits the elevator and steps into GIDEON’S UNDERGROUND LAIR OF COOL SHIT: THE CHAOS THEATRE...AGAIN.

Scott KNOCKS DOWN Comeau and looks to Sex Bob-Omb.

Kim looks at Scott, deadpan as ever.

Kim shrugs.

Kim SMILES at Scott for the first time ever.

Scott turns to GIDEON on his throne, Ramona at his side.

Scott goes straight into fight mode.

Ramona and Scott lock eyes. A strange new power overcomes Scott, different than before.

Scott reaches for the HEART DESIGN printed on his ratty T- shirt and pulls a FLAMING RED SWORD from his own chest.

Kim drives a hardcore beat. Sex Bob-Omb ROCK THE FUCK OUT. HIPSTERS ATTACK SCOTT PILGRIM to the BEAT. Scott swings his FLAMING RED SWORD, exploding each attacker into COINS.

Ramona hands Gideon his cane. He unsheathes his SWORD. Scott and Gideon RUN towards each other, LEAPING in the air. They pass in the air and Scott SLASHES. They land on opposite sides of the platform, backs to each other.

Gideon falls down. Dead, apparently. Scott calls out.

Knives SAILS through the air and KICKS Ramona in the head SUPER HARD. We hear a METALLIC KLONK.

They square off, Ramona staggered, Knives pulling KNIVES.

Scott jumps between them, hands held out.

Knives tries to go around him. Scott GRABS her wrists. She kicks him in the face.

Knives steps back, stunned.

Knives’ frown melts. Scott turns to Ramona.

Ramona rubs the back of her head. The CHIP no longer blinks.

All turn to see GIDEON; bloodied, but still grinning, a lopsided slash across his face accentuating his smirk.

Scott steps into a fighting stance. Knives joins him.

Ramona looks to Gideon, then joins Scott and Knives and STRIKES A FIGHT POSE, the three of them ready to rumble.

Scott ATTACKS with his sword. Gideon BLOCKS, disarms Scott with one move, spins and BUTTS Scott in the face with the hilt of the sword. Scott teeters on the edge of the pyramid. Knives throws her knives. Gideon’s lightning fast sword deflects them, SHING SHING!

Gideon wheels towards Ramona, expecting her to move. She looks doubtful, takes a hesitant step towards him. He grins.

Ramona steps up to Gideon and whispers in his ear.

Ramona knees Gideon in the balls.

Gideon SWINGS his sword at Ramona. Knives whips off her scarf, uses it to wrap up Gideon’s sword arm and disarms him. Scott and Knives punch Gideon in the face in a volley of FREEZE FRAMES.

Knives KICKS Gideon in the stomach and Scott follows with a PUNCH IN THE NOSE, sending Gideon sliding across the floor. Gideon gets back to his feet via backflip. He shakes off the assault and grins.

Gideon throws a series of Wushu moves that give him a POWER UP - his glasses glow, his HEALTH BAR increases. He makes an ’X’ with his fingers and a draws a NEW POWER UP SWORD.

He cuts big arcs at Scott, Knives and Ramona. They barely dodge him. Scott SPIES his sword and picks it up just in time to BLOCK Gideon’s attack. The swords create an ’X’. Ramona KICKS. Gideon BLOCKS, knocking her down.

Gideon swings at Scott. Scott ducks. Knives attacks and scores a hit. Gideon hits her back, dropping her. SCOTT ATTACKS. They fence. Gideon spins low. Scott leaps in the air. Gideon spins again and swings upward. Scott blocks with his sword and is sent UP into the air.

Gideon jumps after him. They CLASH in the air. Scott’s sword SHATTERS.

Scott lands hard. Gideon lands in front of him and raises his sword for the kill. Ramona swings Gideon’s VELVET ROPE, cancelling out Gideon’s digital sword.

Gideon SLAPS Ramona in the face and sends her painfully tumbling down the pyramid. She lands painfully at the bottom. Knives and Scott share a look. They Get up and circle Gideon.

COMBO ATTACK! FREEZE FRAME PUNCHES: Knives kicks and Scott punches, sending Gideon back and forth like a pinball: KICK PUNCH KICK PUNCH KICK! Gideon’s face smashes with each impact.

Ramona rises to see Scott and Knives kicking ass. Scott slides Knives through Gideon’s legs. From the floor, she kicks him in the back of the head, then upends him like a wheelbarrow and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE, sending him spinning.

Gideon lands HARD on his knees, defeated. One lens of his glasses cracks. He looks up at the steely eyed Scott.

Gideon starts to pixellate quite badly. Not long now...

Scott spins and BACK HEELS Gideon in the face. Gideon’s head EXPLODES, his glasses SAILING down the steps of the pyramid. Then his body follows suit in an almighty-

POOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

SHIMMERING COINS rain down. Scott and Knives kiss.

Kim points to the falling coins.

Stills jumps off stage and picks up coins.

The coin rain continues, silhouetting Scott and Knives in their kung fu poses. They share a smile.

Ramona, awake now, makes her way towards them.

The trio walk down the pyramid steps. Scott picks up Gideon’s fallen glasses.

The glasses GLIMMER. GIDEON’S VOICE echoes.

Scott peers into the glimmering lenses, spotting his EVIL MIRROR IMAGE staring back at him. The glasses dissolve and Scott whips around to face...

NEGASCOTT walks towards Scott, Knives and Ramona. Fringed hair. Dark clothes. Evil face.

Knives and Ramona flank Scott in a fighting stance.

The girls reluctantly exit stage left as Scott walks forward to confront his dark side.

Scott and Negascott face off. Both take a step forward...

Knives and Ramona huddle in the snow outside Chaos Theatre. They look expectantly at the entrance, worried for Scott. Then...

Scott strolls out with Negascott. They chat amiably, shake hands and part ways. Scott approaches Knives and Ramona.

Scott runs his fingers through his hair.

Scott’s HAT appears on his head! He looks totally freked.

Knives removes the hat from Scott’s head, literally taking his guard down. Ramona sees this and smiles.

Scott smiles, then realizes Ramona has gone. He turns to see her, pulling her hood up and walking into the darkness. Scott calls after her. Steps tentatively away from Knives.

Ramona, hoping to slip away, stops and turns back.

Ramona looks at Knives as she says this.

Snow begins to fall. Ramona straightens his parka tenderly.

She takes his hand briefly, then lets it drop.

She turns to walk off again. Scott watches, then hears-

Surprised, Scott turns back to see a smiling Knives.

She grins and kisses his cheek.

We hear a COUGH - Young Neil sidles into frame behind her. Guitar still in hand.

We hear a 2ND COUGH - Nega Scott also sidles into frame.

Knives doesn’t look back, but urges Scott to-

Ramona walks on into the night alone, but then-

Ramona is flabbergasted to see a cheery Scott walk alongside.

Ramona smiles. She holds out her hand like in the park scene earlier. Scott takes it.

We see the door with the star on it, standing right in the middle of the street, snow swirling around it.

Scott and Ramona walk towards the door, sunrise coming up over Toronto, night magically turning to day, winter turning to spring.

Over this magical transformation, we hear a lush rendition of ’˜Ramona’ swelling and hear whispers of gossip over Toronto’s cell phone airwaves.

Scott and Ramona walk through the door. Tilt up to the heavens and reveal the CONTINUE graphic in the stars.

CONTINUE? 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...