"SCARY MOVIE" (2000)

..-

I

Aaron Seltzer& Jason Friedberg

by

DID LAST HALLOWEENIWHATKNo·,,v SCREAM IF YOU

I/ .I /~

s not Quentin •••It • SCARY VOICE

Quentin? CINDY

(from phone) SCARY VOICE

Hello? CINDY

RINGS. The phone

it on the lit stove. Popcorn," and putsPopof "Jiffytin~skilletaShe grabs

cake.food and devil's Frankenberry.cereal, Cbocula and·count several frightening food products: FEATUREwe rummaging for a snack.She opens the pantry,

CLICK.

so pick me up in ten.••• o.k., (into phone) CINDY.·

on T.V. watching "Halloween" of Five" type - talks on the cordless.phone while"Party just picture anyah fuck it - Jennifer Love Hewitt way, 7 and pretty in a Neve Campbell,.1our heroine,CINDY,

orange and black streamers,. human heads on sticks ••• •o lanterns,jack Halloween~ The place is decorated for

A dark and spooky night.

NIGH~ HOME - MODESTINT -

Aaron Seltzer·&FriedbergJaso;

by

HALLOWEENLASTDIDI WHAT KNOWYOU IF SCREAM

IN THE KITCHEN

Loser. (hangs up) off. fuck· whoever this is -know,Ya• CINDY

· smack. and shooting the smoking the joint, swigging the booze, gleefully·now FEATURE the Children, Through the window we

Halloween. alone on left you all your boyfriend too badIt's have a sexy voice.You

is this?Who (into phone) CINDY

She closes the door on the surprised toddlers.

Have a safe Halloween. · (to children) CINDY

and booze in their candy bags.She dumps the narcotics

Wrong again. ( from phone) VOICE SCARY

and hypodermic needles.marijuana joints, - bottles of liquor,table grabs the other items on the she reaches for the bowl of candy, but insteadDistracted,

Jake, is that you? (into phone) scary ••• Gee, don't you all lookkids.Hi, CINDY ,i , Trick or treat!! CHILDREN

Halloween costumes.inCHILDREN She walks to the front door and opens it to reveal four

CHIMES. The doorbellDONG!DING

• same ••• Give me directions'? - it all looks thethe mall · like forgetting where you parked at It's Christ, this always happens. KRUEGERFREDDY

No, it's Maple. CINDY

Wait, this isn't Elm Street? (noticing street sign) FREDDY KRUEGER

slice. then stops in mid- Freddy raises his razor-clawed hand,

Ahhh!!1 CINDY.

FREDDY KRUEGER!it's jumps through the windowA MAN

CRASH!

mounts ..• With every step, the tensionthe curtains and blinds. FOLLOW Cindy as she rushes through the house, shuttingWe

UP MUSIC SCARY

on the line .can see her!Whoever'sblue sweater. OFF as she looks down in horror at her tightCindy CLICKS

in that tight blue sweater. You look good just want to talk.I SCARY VOICE

what do you want?-Who is this CINDY

bitch. Don't ever do that to me again, SCARY VOICE

Hello? (picks up) CINDY

RING.

RING. getting a little freaked.phone;Cindy eyes the

RINGS again.phoneThe

SHATTERING glasses.andSMASHING plates SHOOT through the kitchen,KernelsPANG!PING!POP!

...,

A beat.

I'm asking the questions. SCARY VOICE

Why are you doing.this to me?

CINDY

and you die.oneMiss Not until you answer some questions. VOICE SCARY

alone.me Leave CINDY

Cindy? ( from phone) SCARY VOICE

She answers. Her cellular phone RINGS.RING.RING.

beat.A SMASHES the phone to pieces.She

No! CINDY

accept the charges? from ••• HomicidaL Maniac ••• will you have a collect callYou OPERATORPHONE

Hello? · CINDY

She picks up.RING -

RING. RING.

-trepidation. withit She eyes The phone RINGS again.He exits.

' morning. in theby my insurance adjuster come have I'll Sorry about the window. (leaving) KRUEGERFREDDY

at Oak, left at Sycamore.R;i<jht CINDY

She is terrified.of her nostril. GURGLES outbubble and a giant snot Tears well in her eyes,

Last.question. SCARY VOICE

terror. confusion andCindy~s adding to The smoke detector SOUNDS,SHRIEK·!SHRIEK 1

and now ON FIRE, neglected popcorn isherBehind her we see

guess.·tucky VOICESCARY

A long beat.

76? Uh ••• (getting choked up) CINPY

trembling. She sinks to her knees in terror,

Whatis it?and 100. thinking of a number between 1·I'm SCARY VOICE

SPITTING them out.toenails,her She now nervously bites

No ••• CINDY.

Next question. VOICE SCARY

beat..A

E.T.? chubby, alcoholic girl who was in know, the one with theyou••• poster) "Scream" movie(she passes a harassed on the phone ••• gets ·girlthe where That one CINDY.

then SPITS them out. bites her fingernails,n~rvouslyShe

movie? is your favorite teen horrorWhat VOICE SCARY

back door. also running to theFIGURESHADOWYa From outside we see

door~backthe SCREAMS and drops the phone in horror.· She races toShe

You forgot to lock it.door first. backthe check You might want to SCARY VOICE

cops~ I'm calling. the CINDY

off. The backyard lights turn

Oh. VOICE SCARY

CACKLING. The Scary Voice stops

like twice. we went out my boyfriend,That's not CINDY

boy through the sliding glass door.theCindy squints at

The Scary Voice CACKLES.

· -- "Scream."laaa chairto strappedBOY, dead TEENAGE and bloqdieda revealing The lights go on in the backyard,

him? You mean SCARY VOICE

He'll kick your ass.second. My boyfriend's gonna be here any CINDY

was down. The answernse.1you sorry Cindy, VOICE SCARY

Up? CINDY

,- down?.orQQ. . ' VOICE SCARY

Please ••. no ••• CINDY

down? Do you wipe up or SCARY VOICE

i ·1

away with the bat.she flails With eyes still closed,

door open. then closes her eyes and flings theShe raises the bat,

Then open the door.

••• 'm not afraid of you;r bat) grippj,.ng(· CINDY

bat out of.the hall closet. a·baseball then grabssl~wly, She moves to the front door

ten minutes. It's been It could be your friends. VOICESCARY

...No CINDY

Answer it. SCARY VOICE

DONG!DING

anymore?funhaving. Not Cindy? What's the matter, SCARY VOICE

Please ••• stop ••• CINDY

Aren't you going to answer the door? phone)from( SCARY VOICE

to her ear. She punches 9-1-1 on her cordless, then puts the receiver

it?

is who frozen in fear The doorbell.· Cindy isDONG!.DING

... mourits The suspense disappears. The figure·..in terrordoor: away from theCindy backs

· the doorknob. "The Club" overthen putsit,CHAINSthen LOCKS the door,

and She gets there one step ahead of the shadowy figure

DOOR BACK AT THE \ I ~ t

•I

to the ground.

him jumps up and knocksCujo Before the Killer can strike,

scampering up from behind •. · comes CUJO, Cindy's 200 lb. St. Bernard,S1.1ddenly,

TERROR.

IN. Cindy SHRIEKS Killer raises.the knife again -The

Implants ••• KILLER

then deflate. POP like balloons,breastsHerPOP!POP!

chest.her The Killer lunges at her and stabs twice at

SCREAMS! She turns to see the Killer and

from the phone. - it's the same scary voice Cindy freezes in her tracks

Hello Cindy. KILLER

look4.ng knife and creeps up behind her.wickedaHe raises

mask is Casper the Friendly Ghost.. "Scream," except his

a laon; mask white a black cloak andThe Killer has

right behind her. we see the KILLER -As she turns,door.tneCindy locks

INSIDE

legs •.•my I can't feel BOY LITTLE

GROAN in pain as She closes the door.The children

lands uselessly next to their broken arms. which only She apologetically tosses the children candy,

Oops ••• CINDY

' . the front porch.on_' lying bloody and beatennow

OR TREATERS to find three LITTLE TRICKeyesheropensShe

swings.severai She connects withCRUNCH!THUD!BANG!

PSYCHO!!YOUTHATTAKE CINDY

•cS

popular.

and Incredibly sexy, beautiful,The "It" girl.BUFFY -

gung-ho jock. - All American looks, muscular,JAKE

brooding in a Skeet Ulrich way.

and Good-looking, cool, Cindy's boyfriend.~SKEET

ensemble cast: We now FEATURE our The five teens drive down the highway.

NIGHT- ROAD WINDY DARK ANDEXT~

CH_RIS':rINE."'."plate we see the Cadi's personalized ·licenseAs they drive off,

road.the downOUT Skeet puts it in gear and PEELS

here! Get out of Go - just drive! CINDY

What's wrong? SKEET

jumps in the passenger side.Cindy

and QUENTIN.BUFFY,JAKE, Her friends are SKEET,

'57 Cadillac convertible.a red, just as her FRIENDS pull up instreet,Cindy runs into the

me some morphine .•.g·etSomeone LITTLE GIRL

YELP in pain.whoC~ILDREN, BEATEN stepping on the down the steps,Cindy races

OUTSIDE

She uses the distraction to dash out the front door.

~. •••• AAhhhh KILLER

HIS LEG.

HUMP vigorouslydown-and Cujo proceeds to pin the Killer

Cujo!boy, Good CINDY

out of town.He"s CINDY

maniac in your house? upset to find a knife wielding But uh, won't your dad bereason. Excuse me for being the voice of Cinqy)(to. QUENTIN

with antlers stuck in the grill.riowon,They travel

several DEER.

HITS Cadi.the teens,the Unbeknownst toTHUD!SMACK!

X-ING.DEER reading: Skeet takes his eye off the road as they pass a sign

Everything'll be o.k.road. the station's just down theRelax, SKEET

Skeet puts an arm around Cindy.

Ow. (rubs arm) QUENTIN

PUNCHES Quentin in arm.He

Yeah, douchebag. JAKE

not the 411. Cindy needs Five-aclerk friends. video Save the tech lingo for your wonder much why you don't get laid? BUFFY

walls which ••• satellite signals bounce off the The · It's the a ••• it's the canyons. QUENTIN

••• still no signal. CINDY

drives as Cindy tries to call the cops on her cellphone.

Skeet in the backseat between Quentin and Jake.i·sBuffy

spiky haired video store geek.Freckled face,QUENTIN -

He raises his knife, glinting in the moonlight.appears. Suddenly, standing in the middle of the road - the Killer

Almost there ••• SKEET

They go around a bend.

want to talk about it. you know she doesn'tC'mon, Buffy, SKEET

you have to admit •••Well, BUFFY

looney bin for life. That guy's locked up in amurder? something to do with my mom"s ·f Are you saying that this had CINDY

· CAR IN THEBACK

••• underdown a land come fromI••• (sing) WORK MEN AT

PLAYING MUSIC. stand on the shoulder,WORKMEN ATThe band

WORK.AT MEN They pass a sign reading:

? you ••• and now someone tried to kill tonight your mom was killedagoyear of like, ironic that exactly one Cindy, don't you find it kindwill. I O.K., if nobody's gonna say it, BUFFY

awkward silence.There is a long,

CAR THEIN BACK

dragging behind them. now with a wheelchairtravel on,teensThe oblivious , several of the Senior Citizens flip them the "finger."

LEAP out of the way.SCREAM andsenior's

the and ZOOMS up,The Cadi' walkers and -wheelchairs. theirin A group of SENIOR CITIZEN'S try to cross the road

X-ING. HANDICAP reading:sign They pass a

• He came out of nowhere. • • SKEET

in the middle of the road. Killer's listless bodythe The car's headlights illuminate

faces.

all theironTerror The teen·s get slowly out of the car.

and backs up over the killer, dislodging him from the axle. Skeet throws it in reverse They finally come to a stop.

Ahhh •••• KILLER f then hot asphalt.road flares,

speedbumps,- They drive over different severe terrains

••••_OWW"-11 KILLER

under the chassis.him him again, this time draggingThe skidding car hitsBAMl

lands with a sickly THUD.Kille~Finally, the

9.5.10,a, 9.0, a.s,- The teens hold up score cards

CAR THEON BACK

then a twist like a gymnast.somersault, an acrobaticdoesand He tucks his legs under him

Soaring in mid-air from the collision.

ON THE KILLER

Oh, shit. JAKE

air. t I

high into thehim They hit the Killer, catapultingSMACK!I

f i

time~no }:here'sbutBRAKESTHEON SLAMS Skeet

CINDY

my God ••.Oh ---~~/1, BUFFY I ' ,-~\ t •

all gonna fry.We"re BUFFY

There's alcohol all over the car ••• SKEET

Nobody's gonna buy that. · "accidentally run over him?" just tried to kill you, then youguy This Cindy. Just a legal note here, QUENTIN

accident. They'll understand - it was an got to go to the police.We've.•· CINDY

we gonna do?What•re BUFFY

at each other in dread as this sinks in.lookThe teens

He's dead. JAKE

Still no response. in the balls.Killer He discards the stick and KICKS the

movement.

No stick. Jake pokes tentatively at the body with a

body in fear. gather around the Killer's The teens against the shoulder.s~opThe car rolls to a

CRUNCH! body - the Killer'sover They scatter as the car rolls

Watch out! QUENTIN

causing the car to roll forward.The parking brake gives,

CAR IN THE

He's alive. CINDY

The Killer squirms in pain.

dead? Is he ••• BUFFY

skewer. ,/

on a two whole·rotisserie chickensJake roastsNext to. her,i

a mars·hmallow on a stick over the flames.roastsBuffy

of sand. The teens huddle around a bonfire on this deserted stretch

NIGHTLATE BEACH -EXT -

TO:·CUT

· reaches them. The teens hop.in and drive off just before the oncoming car

trunk repeatedly like an overstuffed suitcasetheSLAMthey The Killers legs still hang out, sobody in the trunk. oncoming headlights appear, the teens quickly stuff theAs. r

we don't go to jail? What is, to get rid of the body so CINDY

A beat. MUSIC UP.THEME JEOPARDY Cindy ponders as

be? So what's it gonna JAKE

Everyone stares at Cindy.

Someone's coming. JAKE

HEARD approaching.A car is

idea? have a betterYou SKEET

I don't know about this ••. QUENTIN

tried to kill you. Cindy, like this guyno witnesses. - Nobody saw anythingJake's right. BUFFY

Are you crazy? CINDY

potholes~and off·bumps BANGING the headthe car,

toward body by the legs and drags it backJake grabs the

of the body.ridget We've got to JAKE

and tos.ses it onto the fire •..over.dead sealthe· then dragsclub,fatal. Jake finally delivers theTHWACK!

I'm getting cold. Hurry up already, BUFFY

••• Humane Society I I even donate my time to the••• (THWACK!) I go to church •••I~•• ·(cont'd.) JAKE

ARF! r BABY SEAL I THWACK!

••• person , ••• I consider myself a moralistic (cont'd) ' . JAKE

cranium. He gives the seal two more whacks about theTHWACK!!

right ••• I'm not sure what we're doing is (as he clubs)

wood.: CLUBS the seal on the head with the piece ofJakeTHWACK!·

ARF! ARF! BABY SEAL

surf. to make it's way back into thetriesThe cute baby seal

· shoreline. beached at theBABY SEAL,he spots a it on the embers,

throwshe Before of wood.piece and grabs aupJake gets

I got it. JAKE I. Fire's going out. SKEET

an arm around Cindy, trying to comfort her.Skeet keeps

• l.:::,

fetish. asphyxiatione~otic _occasional· auto mixing in the four on the weekends, to masturbate three times a day - secretly lust for Cindy, causing you You cracking, know-it-all dork. the wise-you guess that makesI

JAKE

I _ his ·tiptoes. as he pirouettes on Now·wearing a.pink·tu-tu and tights,

JAKEON

the Jaffrey ballet. penchant for tu-tu's and dreams of lies a facade- Yet·under his macho all-costs, beer guzzling womanizer. win-at-A·Jake. we got the jock - (cont'd} - QUENTIN

which blasts Nine Inch Nails.boombox,out awhipsSkeet

· soundtrack. edgy archetypes and a loud, all of your typical high school Filled with in on the youth market. at cashingaimed budget scream-fest A low classic teen horror movie. This has all the makings of a QUENTIN

Tastes like chicken ••. (mouth full) JAKE

Jake munches on a roasted seal paw.

Retardo Montalban.Get to the point, BUFFY

and now this •••mother• s death, her Cindy, the anniversary of attempt onThe going on here? Doesn't anyone see what'sHello? QUENTIN

Quentin stands and paces excitedly.

warm their hands over the flames. and the teens all The seal re-ignites the fire,WHOOSH!

l.o.

TO: CUT--. >/____,

we better do this.coming up.sun• s SKEET

· · from her sugary nicknames.

th~m The other teens grab barf bags and VOMIT intoRETCH!!

little snuggle-wuggle •.••mybunny, my little honey-sriookie-wookie, ; littlemy so cute, So perfect,, (cuddles up to him) I · Skeet. I my boyfriend Then finally, there's CINDY

2" PART-

HALLOWEENLAS~DIDIWHAT KNOWYOUIF "SCREAM entitled,

reading a script Who lounges in a director's chair,

ON CINDY

make it to the sequel. probablywill and.the· only one who gotten over her mom's brutal murder, case who hasn •thead.· screwed up A a virgin. and alas,kind,smart, the girl- next door.· Pretty,Cindy - BUFFY

the group.~ejoinsBuffy

bidet. and the cold sting of an Icelandic turn en's include fresh water eels, Shallow, utterly self-centered, her

ON BUFFY

,. measurements are 36-24-34 ••• Beautiful, seductive, her the prom queen.Buffy;Then there's SKEET

himself. head, trying to suffocate Wearing a plastic bag over his

ON QUENTIN

day.~. me every mother' s killer hauntsmy of The face Leave the mask on.No. CINDY

is? - don't you want to see who itWait QUENTIN

edge. They all nod solemnly, then start to push the body over the

ball bitch. two- Mutherfuckin' tittie suckin' CINDY

swear. Cindy - Come on, JAKE

you have to swear.Cindy, 'BUFFY

who hesitates. They all turn to Cindy,

Cocksucker. SKEET

Fuck. JAKE

Shit. QUENTIN

A tense beat.

1 swear each of you.Swear - BUFFY

other apprehensively.eachThey look at

anyone what happened. to never tellswearhave toallWe BUFFY •. ominous black cloak and Casper'mask • staring at theawe, in frightenedit They stand over

then set it down. body to the edge of the docks, The five teens drag theRIVER.sDAWSON'A sign reads:

PRE-DAWN-DOCKS FISHINGEXT._

-~/. mascara, etc • 1 lipstick, eyeliner,·· which are· women's cosmetics:samples, the last· of hisaway He goes over to his briefcase and puts

· spring line. We' re previewing theconventions. of these damno·neAnother CAMPBELLMR.

up the omelette.He flips

that in also, folding the ingredients into an omelette.

He dumps revealing a cow tongue.butcher·paper,He unwraps

f Just a couple of nights. CAMPBELLMR. r into the eggs.themand dumps a jar of pig's feet,He opens '

gone? How long will you be CINDY

,· the door.are·by Several suitcases and an airline ticket

on the background T.V. news dronesthe few eggs into a frying pan asaCRACKSHe

CAMPBELL, stands over the stove, cooking her breakfast.

MR. her fatheras Cindy sits at the breakfast .table

MORNING KITCHEN -CINDY'SINT -.

UP FADE

LATERYEAR ONE SUPERIMPOSED:

OUT FADE

who's clutching a blue pendant. look-alike,Dir~RIOLEONARDO It comes to rest next to a sinks to the bottom of the river.ita~follow the bodyWe

UNDERWATER

SPLASH!-over then push the bodyThey nod,

CINDY

puts it away.th~nshudders, framed picture of her mom's killer,She whips out a

ON THE JUDGES

STANDING Every MALE in the audience rises and gives her a

She takes it slowly out of her mouth.

~hing. swallowing the entire She takes the sausage and slowly "deep throats" it,

SOUNDS as a spotlight hits her.A ORUMROLLsausage. 24" oolisha.outwhip·sstage andcenter Buffy strides to

finalists ••• two spectacular to top our first Buffy will have to do something FONZY PRINCIPAL

ON STAGE

Meet me at the swim-gym afterschool. CINDY

Oh, shit. BUFFY j) and Buffy GASPS in terror.Cindy shows her the note,\

important? middle of something really Cindy, can't you see I'm in theDuh, BUFFY

we have to talk.Buffy, CINDY

who waits to go onstage.Cindy approaches Buffy,

STAGEBACK

Thank you, Danielle. FONZY PRINCIPAL

STRONGER APPLAUSE.tobowsSheher face. a tire track acrosssportingand now She gets up, unhurt,

· · over Danielle. drives out from the wings-and rollsTRUCKA MONSTERVROOM!·

Hit it! DANIELLE

blood. spurts own eye, which we see the Shop Teacher drill into hishimBehindWHIRRR!

wall~ it into theplugsHe_

Someone could trip over this ••• SKEET

he spots the unplugged drill cord.As Skeet continues,

power drill, trying to fix·it.

a. who stares into the eye ofthe Shop Teacher,passesSkeet

Help •••. STUDENT FLATTENED

His protruding legs convulse in pain. The car flattens the student lying underneath it.BOOM!

tire jack, depressing it. he unknowingly steps on away to Cindy,hisAs Skeet makes

Ow! STUDENTS

senseless. KNOCKING themtwo students, The engine block hitsCRUNCH!

drops an engine block from a_pulley. unknowingly yanking a lever whichSkeet grabs his jacket,

Everyone remember - safety first. (to class} TEACHERSHOP

up to see Cindy in the doorway.Skeet looks I. have a visitor.youSkeet, TEACHERSHOP

prosthetic arm. TEACHER hobbles over, sporting an eye patch and aSHOPThe

· · working on the engine.car, the hood of atinder'huddleSTUDENTSotherfourSkeet·and

DAY SHOP -AUTO SCHOOLINT -

TO:CUT

_. impressed. They nod to each other,

· their dives.p~acticing SWIM TEAM, Behind them we see thethe bleachers. Quentin huddle together inJake,.andBuffy,Skeet,Cindy,

DAY- S_WIM-GYMSCHOOLINT_ -

TO: CUT

look. a gravehim She gives to see Cindy enter.uplooksBe

Hey, that's why it's a classic. QUENTIN

· like her. nobody takes it in the assYeah, LADYOLD OTHER

how to fuck. that Jenny really knows and scene was particularly arousing, The cock-sandwichForrest Pump. ".. I did likeBut first three. paled in comparison to theitI felt LADYOLD LITTLE

LADIES.

OLD DOWN to reveal he's talking to two LITTLEPANWe

golden shower •••dildos, two-headed it all - girl on girl 69, - it's got "Robocock 4"recommendI QUENTIN

giving his review of the latest release. Section," holding up a tape and"Pornoin theisQuentin

DAY- STORE VIDEO-INT

CUT TO:-

•.. I got one too. pocket) from hisa note(takes ••• knowI SKEET

I ••• Skeet, CINDY

Skeet· reaches Cindy.

my good eye!!!Ahhh - SHOP TEACHER

•• trampoline~ over there on the guy it co.uld be that fathim.-~.be could be her, could••• could be me, (points to Buffy) you ••• •. It could be It could be anyone QUENTIN

he urinated in the water.from his suit - SWIMMER emit a cloud of purple dyewe see aIn the pool,

What are you trying·to say? SKEET

_night? mean, what if someone saw us that I him?not it·•s What if choice~ but he's the obviousCould be, QUENTIN

Everyone-GASPS in horror.

Maybe it's Cotton Blend ••. BUFFY

it? Then who was SKEET. ) \ thong bikini's. DIVERS walk by wearingMALEwe see twoIn the background,

... Hey, it wasn't me.oww QUENTIN

PUNCHES Quentin in the arm.He

Yeah, douchebag. JAKE

couldn't keep your big mouth shut. knew youI Busyfist.Mr.••. (makes jack-off motion) It's probably you •.• (to Quentin) BUFFY

fuck with us. Someone's just trying toBullshit. JAKE

Somebody knows. CINDY

blush. sleeping ••• but you could use some you looked so peacefulyou,wake I didn't want to A few·hours ago. CAMPBELLMR.

When did you get home? CINDY

I'm here now. But another one of your nightmares. havingwereyou honey, It's o.k., CAMPBELLMR.

Oad1 CINDY

nightstand light, revealing it's her father. She sits up and turns on herhorror.inShe SCREAMS

awake~ HANDS grab her - startling herTWOSuddenly,

obvious bad dream. in the midst of ansleep,and turns in herCindy tosses

MIDNIGHT- BEDROOM CINDY'S-·INT

We wait ••• CINDY

now?do What're we supposed to BUFFY

off. Jake walks

Halloween. quiet about what happened last And all of you better keepprank.· I don't buy any of this, it's just a JAKE

red handprint on his cheek.

leaving a Jake bitch slaps Quentin across the face,SLAP!

••• It could be QUENTIN.

boun~es..

he The Fat Guy waives as BOUNCING on a trampoline.boxers,

GUY wearingFAT where we see a to the corner,we·PAN

Diane. your grandmother, after home and named you Cindy took you!'18-Then·thing~ Trimester" 3rd..· shafted on that whole got so we heart was still beating, ••• But the doctor noticed that your (plucks her eyebrows) fetuses •••other garbage with the tossed you in thethe·nmother; your· vacuumed and scraped you out of The physician's assistantclinic. There we were at the abortion CAMPBELLMR.

mudmask over her face.aHe applies

you almost didn't make it.know,You remember like it was yesterday.I CAMPBELLMR.

· to hear his bedtime story. "no," then puts her head on the pillowheadShe shakes her

·born? day you were Say, did I ever tell you about the CAMPBELLMR.

now rolls her hair in curlers with fatherly tenderness.He

understand·.IO.K., (smiles) CAMPBELLMR.

Dad. Just high school stuff, CINDY

back~ but holds She wants to talk,

old man anything. your you know you can tel1Come on, CAMPBELLMR.

her. He continues making her over, putting false eyelashes on

Nothing. CINDY

what's wrong?Cindy, CAMPBELLMR.

cheeks. and brushes rouge onto herAvon makeup kitqisHe takes out

CUT TO:·

Noooo ••••• JAKE·

38OO.WOMEN'S BREASTS!now has a pair ofJake

whips off his shirt and GASPS.He rushes to the mirror,

His chest continues to swell, he's developing tits.·

? the •••What JAKE

Suddenly; his chest swells •.

·dumbbells. Jake resumes his workout, curling.

Gm IN THEBACK

plunges it into his arm.

then takes a needle, fills it from the switched vial,Jake

Jake enters. A moment later, The Shadowy figure exits.

ESTROGEN. Jake's steroid vial with a vial labeled: which switcheshand,.s black gloved~igure'ON theCLOSE

and opens Jake's locker. A SHADOWY FIGURE enters,

LOCKERSTHEAT

He bobs· his head to the music.over his headphones.

Bop"- "Mmm Hanson'sHEARand we walkman up, He turns his

_Jake pumps iron in the deserted weight room.

NIGHT GYM - SCHOOLINT -

pumpkin.~.ght,Goodr-. CAMPBELLMR.

Baker. looking like Tammy Fayeheavily made up,isnow see sheWe

Dad. Thanks, (drifting off) CINDY

mustache. he waxes her She closes her eyes and smiles peacefully as

his crotch in pain. He looks down at A frown slowly creeps acrqss his face.

He jacks-off with the Vaseline.SHLURP !SHLURP -SHLURP -

and spreads it on his dick.dollup of goo, scoops a big He reaches for a nearby·jar of Vaseline,

••• ! squeek Squeek - (frightened) GERBIL

GERBIL and smiles lustfully. then. grabs a then a dustbuster,pump,a penisHe uses

Oh yeah, take that Martha Stewart ••• QUENTIN

porno and centerfolds.. Quentin pulls his pants down and starts jacking-off to the

from the T.V. and jazzy porno musicMOANING, HEAR the sound of peoplewe / I "Shaving Ryan's Privates."of the video reads: The cover Quentin grabs a video and sticks it in the VCR.

and BILL GATES, CAPTAIN PICKARD,- Quentin's favorites

Tacked on the doors are nudie centerfold pictures of

walls. revealing zebra and leopard skinThe shelves flip over,

by The Divinyls UP."I Touch Myself,"The song,

shaped Murphy bed folds down from the wall. illuminate the room as a heartligh~A disco ball and red

the room into a porno haven: which transformsON the lights, Quentin enters and CLAPS

ROOM BACKTHEIN

to the back room.

and walks the lights,offHe turns CLOSED sign.hangs the

then locks the door andCUSTOMER, Quentin lets out the last

NIGHT- STORE VIDEO-INT

in terror. She.SCREAMS

shag. style

"Friends" cut and styled into abeenHer hair hasHer POV:

· YAWNS and stretches awake, then goes to the mirror.Buffy

NEXT MORNING

TIME LAPSE:

She gets into bed and turns off the light.

••• especially in the next scene. into camera)l9oks(she ••• anything to happen .to it I wouldn't want hair's so beautiful, my that just It's Mom. Allright, (she stops) BUFFY

been brushing your hair for hours. you"ve time to go to bed,Buffy, (O.S.) MOM BUFFY'S

two ••• Ten-thousand one, ten-thousand (counting brush strokes) BUFFY

mirror. brushing her hair in the Buffy sits at her vanity table,

NIGHT- BEDROOM BUFFY'S-INT

fanning himself in pain. he hops around the room,from his crotch,smoke emanatesAs

AHHHHl QUENTIN

scratched off the label to sabotage him. Somebody actually a jar of Ben Gay Deep Heating Rub. the jar of Vaseline and examines it to find it'sgrabsHe

OWl QUENTIN

1 AWAY DAYS3- PARTY HALLOWEENANNUAL.· A banner reads:

DAY BIOLOGY CLASS -INT

SCREAMS echo through the neighborhood.Her

1 Babe!! CINDY

.. pig's head revealing a severed the covers back further,_-She pulls

-Flipper!! CINDY

dolphin's head. revealing a severed She pulls the covers back further,

Cujo! (horrified) CINDY

The severed head of her dog Cujo lies next to her in bed.

aside. covers up and flings theShe sitsTerrified, blood -everywhere. She pulls back the c.overs slowly -·

blood on them also. hands up - there'sher·She holds her silk pajamas.on shock to see bloodinShe looks down Cindy wakes slowly. .. MORNING- BEDROOM CINDY'S-INT

SOBBING over her outdated look.to her kneessinksShe

been rusted shut. but the zippers She tries desperately to unzip the jeans,

Acid wash jeans ••• BUFFY

jeans. down to see that she's wearing acid washShe looks

shag - that's so out ••• Not the Jennifer AnistonNoooo!!!! (horrified) BUFFY

Cindy only·stares at him.

••• tell them it.wasn't meCindy •••

SKEET

CHOKES him.throat. andthe·him byJake grabs

Skeet! It has to be you, including sign language). ( BUFFY

say? What're you trying to ·SKEET

· :suspiciously.look·'"•at-"himThey all • • .::._.••~~:,••:,,h-••0.-••,~-_'.:•;_•:•:••;•••."~:•:•:..~•••• wasn't terrorized last night? How come you're the only one who JAKE

Uh ••• nothing. SKEET.

Skeet? What happene.d to you, BUFFY

Someone definitely knows. QUENTIN

me? Now do you all believe CINDY

an ice pack shoved in his pants. and Quentin has Buffy has a bad hair-do,Jake has cleavage,

- All are suffering from the effects of last night's terror

behind in the empty classroom. leaving our cast of teens The Teacher and Students exit,

tomorrow.for Thirteen," Read Chapter 13, entitled "Chapter TEACHER

students. and Quentin among theBuffy, FEATURE Cindy, Skeet, Jake,we

human cadaver. and another dissecting a frog, another·dissecting a cat,_.//·•· one dissecting aseeweSTUDENTS, PANNING down the rows of;\ (~\

· Check this out ••• video tape)a (pulls out Show."Cocks "Courtney: 3,000 miles away taping thewasHe

How do you know? SKEET

couldn't have.He QUENTIN

Blend guy. it's probably that Cottonknow,You SKEET

you.. q.o~b~_ed I 'm sorry I ever CINDY

Cindy hugs Skeet.

It's air tight. JAKE

buy it.I BUFFY

Good enough for me. QUENTIN

Oh. (nods understandingly) CINDY

meant ••• hampster. I I say "sister?"Did SKEET

But you don't have a sister. CINDY

her homework.withsister uh ••. helping mywasII told you. SKEET

air.for GASPShe,.·andhim, Jake finally .drops

Skeet? you last night,wereWhere CINDY

goatee like Satan. and a pointeda pitchfork, He has red horns,Her POV:

pacifist •••aI'm~ do anything like thatwoutd·neverI - SOBBING) he breaks down( Christmas lights. like mantlethe stringing it over unraveling her intestine and Clausen kosher pickle jars, then · blood meticulously into empty

3" never slit her jugular with aI swearI I'm not a goddamn liar.And COTTON

T.V.THEON BACK

Goddamn liar ••• CINDY

Watching with utter contempt.

ON CINDY

lady. that kill I didn't didn't do it, just wanna say that Iuh,Ithere, uh ••• if you're watching outYeah, COTTON

to the survivors of your victim? do you have anything to sayCotton, COURTNEY

The audience APPLAUDS.

Blend. guest is convicted killer Cotton If you're just joining us, today's (into microphone) COURTNEY

Cotton Blend sits on stage in front of a live AUDIENCE.

''Friends."showV. from the T.For You," The show"s theme music plays The Rembrandts, "I'll Be There

Cocks as the host. style talk show, except with CourtneySpringer,.A "Jerry

T.V.THEON.

VCR •thei11 stand and sticks the video Quentin goes to the nearby T.V.

newspaper clipping out of her pocket.aShe pulls

•.. name was Tom TingleHis ... (interrupts} CINDY

someone at the docks •••maybeor BUFFY

There was that other car ••• SKEET

someone saw us •••Maybe. JAKE

scene of the movie.· the firstin the guy we ran over Maybe it has something to do with QUENTIN

They ponder a beat.

us?. this to then who's doing If it's not him, BUFFY

disgust.in_ She turns the T.V. off

CINDYON·

PUMMELS each other. It's utter chaos as everyoneSMASH!PUNCH!KICK!

BRAWL. throwing ERUPT into an all-out, chair Behind her we see the audience

gratuitous violence! some Now to boost our. ratings -

looks cheerily into the camera.thenShe recovers,

That is extremely touching ••. COURTNEY

eye. from hertear Also dabbing a • COCKS COURTNEYON I and "Aryan Race."~'KKK"tattooed with forearms which areexposing his He wipes his tears,

47. l

does a remote broadcast in front of a mental hospital.j__ i COURTNEY COCKS,named tabloid reporter,typeA Courtney Cox

T.V. ON THE

V..• attention to the Ther-Cindy turns

He gives her a peck on the cheek, then exits.

possibly happen? l what couldabo.ut me,worryDon't CINDY

to be o.k.?going sure you're (grabbing luggage) 'I CAMPBELLMR.

"Supermom" Her skeleton wears an apron labeled,

on an anatomical stand. where Mrs. Campbell's skeleton hangsto the corner,PANwe, I ••. bones.have.her I I But we' 11 always'too.miss herI CAMPBELLMR. • / here. ) just wish she was stillIDad,Oh, --,._, CINDY t

· ·· hugs her.goes and ,

He and tears well in their eyes.They look at each other,

mom's recipe.•••Mrnmm (taking a bite) CINDY

then puts it on her plate.air,CATCHES it in midShe

a fish. monger throws· omelette through the air at her, like a fishthaHe FLINGS

It's ready. CAMPBELLMR.

back in the skillet.'landsomelette finallyTh~SIZZLE!

Lady 'aint what it used to be. but being an Avonhoney,know,I CAMPBELLMR.

Dad, you're always working. C.l:NDY

...,..

just like on T.V. hand in front of the lens in the photo,Cotton also has his

PICTUREFRAMED ON THE

Cotto.n. Cindy GASPS, then whips out the framed picture she keeps ofI ) his face. I Cotton puts his hand over the camera, partially blocking·

· convicted murderer of Joan Campbell. Cotton Blend, infamous patient - I And here comes Bellview's most COURTNEY

COTTON BLEND, is also let free. in horror as her mother's killer,•.Cindy watches the T.V

We"re going to Disneyland! KACZYNSKI & LECTER

· next?do going toyou insane asylum, what're you"ve just been released from the- Unibomber and Hannibal the Cannibal COURTNEY

them for a statement. Courtney eagerly approaches

LECTER walk past her. HANNIBAL KACZYNSKI andTEDwe see As Courtney reports,

T.V.THEON BACK

Yeah? JESUS CHRIST

cigarette. where JESUS CHRIST sits smoking aPAN to the couch,We

my lord •••Oh, ·crNDY

all inmates are being released. - .due to budgetary cutbackswhere, live from Bellview Mental Hospital, Courtney Cocks coming to youisThis (into microphone)· COURTNEY

;..

She squints her with questions.swarmtocontinueThey

No comment ••• CINDY

Talk to us Cindy!

killer is on the loose? I your mom'sknowingit feelHow's

1 statement? can you give us aCindy -

and cameras in her face. shoving microphones They spot Cindy and converge on her,

PARKING. REPORTER TABLOID then finally,PARKING, FACULTY she passes she strides through the parking lot,

As then exits.PARKING, Cindy parks her car in StUDENT

MORNING SCHOOL -HIGH KEVIN WILLIAMSONEXT -

CRUNCH!1CRASH SWERVE! we hear•.SO

and drives off.

head, He gets in his car, still with his jacket over his

from the glaring media crush. head to shield himself Cotton throws his jacket over his

No comment. COTTON

Cindy Campbell? killing your victim's daughter, closure byseek now try toyou Will freedom.your you haveCotton, COURTNEY

~irtbag. - late J0's, stubble facedhim we finally get a glimpse ofandCourtney rushes to Cotton,

ON T.V.BACK

particularly offensive. found the Broadway playI (seething) CINDY

who also nod "yes." Courtney looks at the crowd of Students,"yes".He nods

·Do 'ya think? COURTNEY

· Actually, it does. CAMERAMAN

villain. me a murder - it doesn't make and an infomercial about your mom's two best sellers,movie,for-T.V. made- I sold a·because Look, just COURTNEY.

you? should I talk toWhy CINDY

protectively next to Cindy. who stands including Skeet, STUDENTS gather around, A small crowd ofCindy's face.in She puts the microphone

· statement? how about giving me aCindy, COURTNEY

.. hatred Cindy instantly recognizes Courtney and smolders with

CAMERAMAN step into her path.COURTNEY COCKS and her As she walks the front steps to school, tabloid reporter

She steps over the heap ofCRUNCH!Photographer's neck -

to a kick She does a backflip, then delivers a scissor

Reporters with them.WHACK!proceeds to

and "Waah!" nlinchucks with apair ofaoutwhipsShe

another.to a spinning back kickShe does

POW! a Reporter to the ground.Cindy karate chopsSMACK!

I said no comment .•. CINDY.

emphasize his point.tobatpn_his policewithHe gestures

Violence never solves anything ••• (calling after the kids). DUTY .SHERIFF

dazed. •looking sheriff Duty, Courtney rises to her wobbly feet,Behind

•. Cindy and the rest. of the Students disperse to school

Why don't you kids get to class? DUTY SHERIFF .

sorry, Sheriff Duty. CINDY.

I'm very disappointed • SHERIFF DUTY

Skeet puts an arm around Cindy to calm her.

enough! Break it up - that's DUTY SHERIFF ..i,/

fight.·.· breaks up thetype, I mean David ArquetteRoseanna, Patricia,ADUTY -SHERIFF.

breaking the camera and knocking Courtney out • BASHES Courtney about the head,SheCRUNCH!SMACK!

I'll give you a story ..• CINDY

wrenches the camera away from the Cameraman.

She then PUNCHES Courtney in the face.She rears back and

You want a story? CINDY.

A beat.

for you?back Cotton will come you scaredaren't Anyhoo ••• Cindy, (shrugs) COURTNEY

shoddily choreographed at best. it was overbearing and~eah, SKEET

r~stroom. Cindy ducks into the women'sexits.He·

Meet me at the quad after bio. SKEET

Skeet gives Cindy a quick kiss.

NOW!- PEOPLE I ON COME CLASS.TO..BACK EVERYONE (amplified) FONZY PRINCIPAL

megaphone. speaking into athe hall,downcomesFONZYPRINCIPAL

RINGS. The bell

allright~I'll be CINDY

o.k.?You SKEET

Skeet walks· Cindy to class.

TO HOW- 'ASSEMBLYSAFETYHEROIN. Another banner reads:

AWAY! WEEKONE

- PARTY HALLOWEENANNUAL on the wall reads:.bannerA

talking and laughing with eachSTUDENTS crowd the hallway,

DAY- HALLWAYSCHOOL-INT

out again. knocking her her in the face,smacksHe unknowinglyWHACK!

••• without using our fists .•.

DUTY SHERIFF

MOANING in pain. She doubles over, He unknowingly smacks Courtney over the kneecaps.WHACK!

... can talk things outWe (cont'd} DUTY SHERIFF

Principal Fonzy? CINDY

bathroom. Principal Fonzy spots the tearful Cindy exiting the

HALLWAYTHEIN

·out of. the bathroom.rushesSheodors.

and words, from their harshCindy's eyesinTears well

probably mental.She's

RUNS.THEHAS One of the CheerleadersSPLATERRRR11SPRAY!

Everyone thinks she's a loon. CHEERLEADER #2

The Cheerleaders move their bowels.SPLASH!PLOP!SHIT!

me out. she fully weirds pass her in.the hall,Everytime I

few rip. The Cheerleaders let aFART!!FART!!

know.I CHEERLEADER #2

becoming visibly upset.OVERHEARS them,Cindy

creepy ••• She so Campbell. chick this morning? Did you check out that Cindy ' '• stalls, are unaware of Cindy"s presence. each sitting on the toilet in adjacentTwo CHEERLEADERS,

to be a survivor. You 've got You' ve got to be strong. (to her reflection) CINDY

herself. and ·takes a hard look at Cindy stands at the mirror,

BATHROOMIN THE

Cindy? Cindy?_ whisper calls)( SKEET.

window.

bedroom .her looking up at Skeet stands on the front lawn,

OUTSIDE

bed studying.·her a nightgown, sits onwearin9Cindy,

NIGHT- BEDR90M CINDY'S-INT

YOU ••.CONCERN PERIOD DOESN'T Is CINDY- CLASSTO BACK 'EVERYONE FONZY PRINCIPAL

around on the gawking students.

wheels as Principal Fonzy Cindy slinks off down the hall,

BODY ••• HER ABOUT MANY QUESTIONSGIRL WITH FLOW CAN LEAVE ABLOODSUBSEQUENT ANDEGG DROPPING OF HERTHE FONZY PRINCIPAL • heads out of classroom doors to gawk at her •I' now peeking theirStudent'sfew. Cindy looks around to see a t Huh? I CINDY t

You do? CINDY

t'

•I L

t

away. She looks

meet me at the quad? Why didn't you what happened?Hey, SKEET

• • • ••HIJlmnDil. (in unison) CINDY& ·sKEET

out. of town. alwaysdad'syour strange,That's SKEET

dad's out of town.myDon't worry, (helps him inside) scared me.youSkeet - CINDY.

the window •through' moment later, Skeet climbsA

room~ CRASHED into her She is oblivious to the boulder which has

BEDROOM IN CINDY'S

The boulder CRASHES through the entire windowSMASH!

The boulder hurtles through the air.WHOOSH!

He cuts the catapult release cord.loaded on it.

a boulderwith. catapult, over a medievalhe wheelsFinally,

CINDY! (yells) SKEET

Still no response.·

THUD! He picks up a rock and throws it at the window -

Cindy? (louder) SKEET

no response. The pebble bounces off the window, but there's stillTINK!

window. ( up a pebble and throws it at herHe picksNo response.\

PANTIES CINDY'SONCLOSE

· · her panties.rev~al her nightgown further torais·esand hecontinue making out,

T~ey•. He replaces the _foot, then strips down.to his boxers

it in Egypt.gotMy dad CINDY

actual severed, stuffed camel's foot. holds up anand He reaches past her to the nightstand

Thanks. CINDY

some camel toe.sThat' SKEET,

raises her nightgown and looks down.

•. He He lays her down on the bed as they continue kissing

shampoo plus conditioner.aone - It's two in Pro-V Formula.Pantene excited)'(getting CINDY·

What do you use?smooth. Your hair's so soft and silky SKEET

He whispers softly in her ear.

runs his fingers sensuously through her back hair.

and of her nightgown,strapsh9ulder slowly lifts theHe

beat.A He sweeps her in and they kiss passionately.

• I ...do ••I CI~u1

He kisses her gently.I.

don't you? trust me,Yourelax. got to You've (he rubs her shoulders) not. courseofNo, SKEET

back.his behind He crosses his fingers

psycho? you think I'mD~ CINDY

slowly on it.

SUCKING takes his finger and puts it into her mouth,She

little more time.a·to give me You just have ... I'll come around. (she moves closer) promise •••I CINDY

beat·.A answer. He doesn't

You want to break up with me? CINDY

His pictionary message sets in.

up.- break want - to --••• I (he draws an up arrow) want to break •••.•• I brake pedal)a( he draws. want to ••••... I 2)a (he draws want ...I •.• wand. a magic wand)(he draws "I" .••Oh,eye?an What is that, CINDY

tries to decipher his message. He draws furiously as she- They now play "Pictionary."

eye~ then draws a picture of an Skeet erases the equation,

me. just talk toupset - mathematical equations when you get you always solve complexSkeet, CINDY

math equations on the mirror. solves complexhe "Good Will Hu_nting,"inDamonLike Matt

a marker and goes to the mirror.He grabs wearing only his boxers.he gets out. of bed,Frustrated,

I'm just not ready. CINDY

I were freshman.weout since ' we've been goingmean,Ianymore.

I can take this I don't.know if SKEET I TRESPASSING.NO sign reading: ..,./I-, ' !

a and fence ZAPPING electrifiedThere's also aperimeter. i- /,--•··,\

of elastic, tiny barbed wire runs along theInste~dI

l. l, I'.

feeling my freshest. For the days when I'm just not (into camera) JAKE

and holds it up. he grabs a bottle of Massengail Disposable douche,Finally, and rubs it into his scalp.He then grabs Rogaine,

biceps. swells. to twice their size. and immediately his He plunges the needle into his arm,

·· ster<:>ids. a syringe and fills it from a vial labeled

then grabs around to make sure no one"s watching,looksHe

known prescription.everybottles of it looks like a medicine chest -revea~He opens it to

LOCKER JAKE'SON

then a ultra fat butt with crack hair and pimples. then a sun-tanned bikini line butt,First a muscular butt,

FOCUS on several naked butts.westrip down, As they TEAM is gearing up for practice.FOOTBALLThe

DAY ROOM - LOCKERBOY'S INT -

have to tell the others •••I CINDY

freaked. ··completelyShe GASPS,

HALLOWEEN.LASTDIDYOUWHAT KNOWI note reads:The

note inside.aShe find

AND BRAD PITT,DICAPFTO,LEONARDO- teen heart-throb photos

opens it to reveal her locker is decorated with beefcake

She Cindy walks down the crowded hallway to her locker.

AWAY! DAYS4- PARTY HALLOWEENANNUAL banner reads:A

DAY SCHOOL -HIGHINT -

normal size and THROBBING.it's now three times He takes his finger out of her mouth - it'sI------·' i ------------,I

Jl.

:...,..

· part of our competition. And that concludes the bathing suit m.icr0phone)(into FONZY PRINCIPAL.

• crowd from the podiumthe Principal Fonzy addresses

the audience. including Buffy, stand in front ofA dozen TEENAGE GIRLS,

with STUDENTS.~illedare The seats PAGEANT.QUEEN. HOMECOMING A banner reads:

DAY- SCHOOL AUDITORIUMINT -

with terror. his face goes white he turns the note over and reads,As

Now read it. CINDY·

is horrifying.This (looks up gravely) ruled •.• three hole punch •.•I• \./J,I 11. •. collegex.••• 8 1/2Hmmm

note) (examining

do you make of this?What CINDY '1.

note.thehim She shows

got practice.Iwant? What do you JAKE

Jake ••• CINDY

He comes out, all suited up.

Jake.for looks

Cindy PLAYERS come out of the locker for practice,As the

DAY FOOTBALL FIELD -EXT -

we •.. He lowers the douche between his legs as

She lies down on the. bed of nails. Danielle strides onstage, dragging a bed of nails with her.

Danielle ••• Next up isHeather. Thank you, FONZY PRINCIPAL

She finishes to POLITE APPLAUSE.

She incorporates all of them into her juggling.

Ruff!. POOI;>LE

poodle.

a and finally, a.blow torch; He then tosses her a chainsaw,

BITING. the apple as she juggles.her:•juggling,iQto·· which she.incorporates The .stagehand tosses her an apple,

STAGEHAND stands by.aas·the-balls,juggles

She. Heather strides out onstage, carrying juggling balls.

for us. who will juggle First up is Heather, FONZY PRINCIPAL

and Danielle exit to change.Buffy, Heather,

competition. Now for the talent part of our FONZY PRINCIPAL

Contestants exit the stage to APPLAUSE.othe~the each other excitedly ashugHeather,. and DanielleBuffy,

1 Heather ••• and BuffyDanielle;are ••• And our three finalists (reading card) FONZY PRINCIPAL

REINHOLD.· They hand a card to Principal Fonzy. JUDGEand WAPNER,JUDGE JUDGE JUDY,judges areThe

TABLE JUDGES ON THE

three finalists. judges have narrowed it down toOur FONZY PRINCIPAL

Buffy. anxiously waiting to talk tocrowd,FEATURE Cindy in theWe),/.___'·~\ ' I

JJ .

wanting to .go. WHISTLING, obviously not all look down at their feet,They.

me?· Who's with.knows. see what he·- check it outthere, I think we should godowntown. works at the Marquee movie theater he checking,someI did Tingle. relative was his twin brother, Tim The paper said his only living CINDY

and kneeing poses. punching, posing in strangle,mid""fight,all stop in~hey

it is.whoknow I think I CINDY

Cindy cuts through.Finally.other. ARGUE violently,·pushing and shoving eachThey all start to

Me?1 BUFFY

more than anyone. you warited to cover it up•••Yeah JAKE ,\ ..•

Are you for real? (to Buffy) QUENTIN

knew we should've gone toShit ••• I BUFFY

They're all freaked.

for what we did to him. I think someone's getting revenge CINDY

it. legs sticking out oftwo color photo of a giant octopus and clipping -.this one with anewspaperanotherout,She whips

consumed by a giant octopus. Half of him had beendays later. body in their. nets elevenfound his Some fishermennight.after ••• that I checked the obituaries every day CINDY

)

room. proj·ectionthe_-in-Upstairs_ USHER

The Usher takes a step back.

••• gonorrhea. (whispers conspiratorially) _ ••• have something to tell him I'm his girlfriend and Itonight? do you know if Tim is workingHi, CINDY

approaches an USHER.Cindy.•separateThey

,·;..--..·._ numbers. - there's safety inGood idea QUENTIN

Let• s separate. CINDY

Month."the Employee of-'l'ingle"Tim which r_eads: PAN to-see she's looking at a picture over a plaguewe

teeth ••• buck eyes,beady Receding hairline, CINDY

like? Any idea.what he looks QUENTIN

looking around.in the lobby,stand Cindy and Quentin

INSIDE

TEENAGERS, wearing horror costumes, wait in line.Dozens of

FESTIVAL!MOVIE HORROR reads: marqueeThe

NIGHT THEATER -MOVIEMARQUEEEXT -

Thanks, Quentin. CINDY

She looks disappointedly at Skeet.

I •·11 go. QUENTIN

Blowing Up the Bridges of Madison County.and

Day;a Killing on $2 at the books on the shelf -looksShe

clues. She looks around for Cindy enters to find it's deserted.

ROOM THE PROJECTIONBACK IN t takes a seat and watches the movie.He

my favorite •••the 13th,Friday QUENTIN t

13th." "Friday the He becomes distracted by the movie on screen,

,.. .. dark theater • the rows of costumed audience members in thescansQuentin

THEATERMOVIE IN THE

She rushes down the hall and enters the projection room.

Ah! CINDY

head, startling her. BATS fly around herA nest ofSQUEEK!SQUEEK!SQUEEK!

few more tentative steps.

a She takes startling her.bY.,OWL fliesAnHOOT!HOOT!

-She walks on slowly, completely spooked out.

It's just a kitten ••• (sighs in relief} CINDY

"Ahl" jumps out and startles her -CATA:~ow1

CREAK on the floorboards.footsteps

Her walks slowly down the hall.nerves on edge,Cindy,

projection room.'the hallway leads todarkA long,

UPSTAIRS

up the staircase.w~lksShe

Thanks. CINDY

so.

movie. reacting to the SCREAMS in terror, so does the audience,As Quentin

1! AAHHH! QUENTIN

•. CASPER MASK, sitting next to him Quentin turns to see it's actually the KILLER, wearing the

The guy next to Quentin doesn't respond.

_. This is the best part •• QUENTIN

guy sitting next to him.n~dgEis~·theQuentin

stab a victim.·toaboutmask,.·hockey wearing his trademark On screen we see JASON, Still watching "Friday the 13th." r- ON QUENTINBACK t She rushes -out. I have. to warn Quentin •••I , CINDY j) '\,•!

DID YOU WHAT KNOWI - all with the same label:balloonsI

I

and coffee mugs, baseball caps, available - T-shirts,

piece of concession merchandise.everyaretableOn the~ I I She looks at a nearby table and GASPS •I• then drops it in horror.reads it,a flier,Cindy grabs

HALLOWEEN.LASTDIDYOUWHAT KNOWI. read: The Xerox machine is on, spitting out copies which all

the room.

middle ofthe a Xerox machine inseetotu.ens,=;heSuddenly,

drawers, pulling down shelves. Cindy snoops around, opening file cabinets, rifling through

What?! CHRISTJESUS

•. cigarette

a CHRIST sits smokingwhere JESUSPAN to the corner,We

Jesus Christ ••• CINDY

pursuit ·continues.· and the The• Killer blows his nose and dries his eyes;

- hug. consol_inga: Quentin hands the Killer a hankie, as they give each other

start WEEPING along with the audience. Quentin and the Killer can't help themselves, they both

- Leonardo's death scene."Titanic"I

plays which He and the killer are now in front of a screen•

now sore butt.rubbing his Quentin hobbles out onstage,

THEATER. IN ANOTHER.

PANTS.~-HIS UNBU~ONINGwho's He looks back at the Killer,

•••• 1No ( looking at scene) QUENTIN

ZEKE.by butt-fucked RHAMES getsVING famous scene where on screen we see the

"Pulp Fiction."which playsscreen, Quentin and the Killer rush onstage, in front of the movie

The The Killer appears onstage, brandishing the knife.

Help •••• QUENTIN

screen, pleading to the audience.

movie Quentin mounts the stairs and stands in front of the

Help me!!! QUENTIN I

pursuit. the Killer in hotaisle, Quentin runs bleeding down the

Quentin. the Killer STABSvictim, JASON stabs an on-screenAs

bastard! You he killed Quentin!-g~dmyOh (to Killer) CINDY

The Killer looks up to see Cindy rushing onstage.

looks fake.bloodtheYeah, but

Whoa, they're really into it. MOVIEGOER #1

Watching the action.

MOVIEGOERSTWOON

over him. Quentin collapses in a bloody heap as the Killer stands

Quentin! CINDY

rope out of a hat. Quentin's intestines, like a magician pulling an endless Coinciding with the action on-screen, the Killer pulls out

BACK ONSTAGE

She races to the front of the theater.

NO!! CINDY

it's not an act.realizes She's the only one who Cindy rushes in and sees Quentin and the Killer onstage.

THEATERTHEOFBACKTHEAT

The Killer appears onstage, brandishing his own meat hook.

Oh, shit •••• QUENTIN

to be disemboweled. up at the screen in dread as Mel Gibson is aboutHe looks

"Braveheart." which plays Quentin runs in front of the movie screen,

IN ANOTHER THEATER

SJ.

/ j

she can't.knowing him everything, butto.tellat him, wantinglooksShe

we came ••• CINDY ·, anyway? What were you kids doing here (beat) on it.menmy got all I've Don't worry, we'll find him. DUTY SHERIFF

Sheriff Duty stands by. a•.,·.r.. obviously in deep shock. She shivers, wrapped in a blanket. Cindy sits in the back,

CAR SQUADAON

They grab their gear and exit the van.

Let's go. COURTNEY

scenee Courtney surveys the

•. news van pulls up with Courtney Cocks and her CameramanA

photos.scene and SNAP crime POLICE to dust for fingerprint_s,Sheriff Duty directs the from the squad cars and ambulances.flashing lights yellow police tape,-scenenow a full crimeThe place is

THEATERMOVIETHE OUTSIDE

LAPSE:TIME

emergence exit. Tim quickly drops the knife and mask and escapes out the

Tim Tingle! CINDY

and a Casper mask in the other.with a knife in one hand, Cindy rushes offstage to find TIM TINGLE, standing there

SCREENTHE BEHIND

and Cindy chases after him.offstage,fl~esThe Killer

••• · this mask wearing by a mannight murdered last He was a student here.wa$Green young life was cut short, Quentin · Until his Kevin Williamson High. This is Courtney cocks live from (mid-broadcast)_ COURTNEY

Cocks.~ Courtney

FEATUREwethem Among camera.' s.into REPORTERS broadcast of Dozens the school. converged onMEDIA hasswarm ofA

MORNING-SCHOOLHIGH KEVIN WILLIAMSON-EXT

that. resentI DUTY SHERIFF

the cup of coffee, revealing a milk mustache.lowe~sHe

Sheriff? charge of a homicide investigation, Aren't you a little young to be in COURTNEY

he drinks.

which· foamy cup of coffee,aDuty Another COP hands Sheriff

BASHING him against the fender.They miss the door,BAM!

the back of the ambulance. Behind him we see the Paramedics trying to load Quentin in

Get those camera's out of here ••• (to Courtney) DUTY SHERIFF

•. Courtney Cocks swoops in to film the proceedings

in a body bag.

zipped up carry Quentin out on a stretcher,PARAMEDICSThe

Right. D~JTY SHERIFF

A beat. He stares at her skeptically.

••. to see the movie.• (cont'd,) CINDY

alo~e? leave mejustthey•·tWhy can CINDY

Cindy1"- BANGING on. the windows with cries of "Cindy!

ca~, around theCLAMOR Skeet and Cindy watch as the media

CAR IN THE

Let's go. COURTNEY

Cameraman.·her Courtney grabs

isl" "There she. car with cries of·to_theoverru~hThey

and the crush of media spots them. Skeet and Cindy pull into the parking lot in Skeet's car,

As you can see, fear is rampant ••• (turns to camera) COURTNEY

and runs off SCREAMING.booksHe drops his

You know, you're right. STUDENT

paranoid and scared. _The Student looks around,

you right now! he could be stalkingbe anywhere, He could And you bought that crap?

the place pretty well protected and _ Police said they haveNot really.- STUDENT

next victim?the be- Are you worried that you could COURTNEY

him. interviewsandSTUDENT She grabs a passing

scho~l. peaceful high panic has set in at this once Tensions are high asat large. ••• The suspect,· Tim Tingle, is still COURTNEY

up a Casper mask.She holds

SCHOOLHIGH INSIDE THE

approach.ButfyJake and As they exit the car,

sign of reporters.

no drive to the back entrance of school -CindySkeet and

THUD! off the hood and lands with aFLYINGShe goes

eyes!my Ahh - COURTNEY

into Courtney's face •.upshoots·. Wiper· fluid..

button. Cindy finally leans over and presses the wiper fluid

Cindy! Come on, COURTNEY

but still she hangs on.orange cones, He SCREECHES around the trying frantically to shake her. Skeet drives through the Driver's Ed.obstacle course,

get you big bucks! I can me an exclusive -giveCindy, COURTNEY

her microphone in Cindy's window. She sticks SHARP TURNS, trying to get her off.He makes

my car! Get off SKEET

staring_through the windshield at Skeet and Cindy.

now She climbs over the roof and lays down on the hood,

speeding car. then uses it to pull herself onto thegaining a handhold, STABS the trunk with her microphone,She reaches out and

runs with superhuman speed and catches up to the car.

Courtney As if she.were the Cyborg Cop in "Terminator 2,"

microphone.h~r running behind the.car with and spots Courtney Cocks,rearview mirror,in.theHe looks

media.t-hefromaway and drives Skeet floors it,·SCREECH!

Hang on. SKEET

...

Salesman •••aofDeath Kill,toTimeA Killing Fields, The TO Kill A Mockingbird,include~ choices for book reportsYour .. ENGLISH TEACHER

Her ENGLISH TEACHER is in mid-lecture.

and pressure are getting to her.terror· looking pale and skittish - thedesk,at hersit$Cindy

DAY- CLASSROOMINT -

TO: CU'I'

and everyone goes their separate ways.BELL. RINGS,The

loganberry scones. Today we're makingclass. my Home Ee want to be late for I don't Now if you'll excuse me, JAKE

They nod in silent intimidation.

it? You got JAKE

He stares them all down meaningfuliy.

jail. 'aint going toBut I bring it on. he can he wants a piece of me,If my chances with that psycho.take I'll of you.all goes forthatAnd JAKE

who shrugs him off •.Skeet grabs Jake,·

Hey! SKEET

You talk and I'll kill you myself. JAKE

Sheriff Duty everything. I'm gonna tell I can't lie anymore. CINDY

The four teens huddle under a stairwell, out of ear shot.

1 AWAY DAYS2- PARTY HALLOWEENANNUAL A banner reads:

\ ~.

I \ ·· no school!-Allrigh~

The two pranksters_ jump up and give each other high-fives.

of here. Both of you are expelled - get out FONZY PRINCIPAL I. nods • pran'ksterThe .other

Well ••• yeah.

Is this your idea of a sick joke? masks}(re: FONZY PRINCIPAL

pranksters hands. Principal Fonzy comes up and grabs the masks out of the two

two!_you Hey - FONZY PRINCIPAL

own urine.

of her puddle PAN down to reveal she is standing in aWe

scare me. You didn'tassholes. Real funny, CINDY

LAUGH at her.They_ playing a practical joke.

STUDENTS, The two take their masks off to reveal they are

SCREAMS in terror.Cindy

jump out at her. Not one but two CASPER KILLERSBOO!

a corner and •••She turns

her breath and walks down the hall. She catches hyperventilating. Cindy leans against a wall,

HALLWAYIN THE

?! Cindy ••.Cindy? TEACHER ENGLISH

rushes out of the classroom.·and \,,,,,./

up She gets room is spinning.- the Cindy covers her earsII

--~\I I

'I 59.

TO.WHITE:FADE

Mom. ~omes that pig ••• there singing and _riding'.mIAnd just as .. .O.)(V CINDY.

She rides a PIG with a saddle.contact lenses. and multi-coloredjet black hair, She wears Gothic makeup,

disagree •.•toam I who• of these ••madearedreamsSweet (sings) CINDY

and singing. Cindy, dressed as Marilyn,see

we "Sweet Dreams," In a parody of the Marilyn Manson video;

NIGHTMAREHER- A SLAUGHTERHOUSEINT -

TO: OISS0L-VE.

· · nightmare... keep having the sameInight. had trouble sleeping atI'veWell ••• CINDY

What's bothering you? F0NZY PRINCIPAL

notepad. up a chair behind her and takes out ahe pullsreclines as

She He leads her to a black leather therapists couch.

been missing class ••. let's talk. you've have been slipping,grades but your has been hard on you, know thisI I'm concerned.Cindy, FONZY PRINCIPAL

Principal Fonzy and Cindy enter.

DAY- OFFICE FONZY'S PRINCIPAL-INT

office. my want to see you inICindy, PRINCIPAL. FONZY

They walk off happily.

••• vandalism go get drunk and do someYeah, let's PRANKSTER #2 /___..'t I I \.......---

Sheriff. Duty? CINDY

Suddenly, Sheriff Duty appears in the doorway.

AWAY. SNORING Behind her, Principal Fonzy is asleep -

••• take off the mask •• don •t take off the mask ••• don •t•·

CINDY

As she comes out of her dream.

·CINDYON-

DISSOLVE OUT:

••• don't take off the mask •••mask Cindy, don't take off the JOAN DEAD

her dead mother speaks:the Killer, Just as she tries to unmaskher. mouth.sound comes out of

but no SCREAMS,Cindy BLOODY CORPSE. Standing over JOAN'S

-' KILLERTHE I

turns into a nightmare as we fade to •.•

The dream who breastfeeds·- at age 16.Joan.cradles Cindy,

ROCKING CHAIR·INA

We fade to •••pot brownies. Joan and Cindy bake together -

KITCHENIN THE

to ••• we hear CRASH! as we fadeo.s.into oncoming traffic. FLINGING her off the swing andJoan pushes her too high,

and higher. Joan pushes her higher, They smile to each other as Joan pushes Cindy on a swing.

A PLAYGROUNDON

motherly. mid JO'S, pretty,-CAMPBELL

JOAN we see different vignettes of Cindy and her mom,·

IN A DREAMLIKE SETTING

volume on his transistor radio. A nearby COP turns up the The suspects turn in unison.

Turn to the right. (into intercom) Take your time. (to Cindy) DUTY SHERIFF

The suspects turn in unison.

Turn to the left. (into intercom) DUTY SHERIFF

I'm not sure, it happened so fast ••• CINDY

Cindy studies. them.The suspects do.

Step forward. (into intercom) DUTY SHERIFF

talk to the suspects.to Sheriff Duty presses the intercom

GUY. TALL

and aGUY' E_FFEMINATEGUY'HEADEDRED BLACK GUY'GUY,FAT. }

\ suspects.- Afivebetween Tim Tingle stands in the center,

SUSPECT LINEUP.glass at a looking through the They stand behind a one-way mirror,

ROOM LINEUPIN THE

I.D. positive a need you to make-weof town. picked Tim Tingle up just outsideWe

Sheriff Duty leads Cindy into a lineup room.

DAY- STATIONPOLICEINT -

and peers after them. He puts on the confiscated Casper maskpretend sleeping.

he was- his eyesopens As they walk off, Principal Fonzy

to come with me. I'm going to have to ask youCindy, DUTY SHERIFF

..

her way to the front.jost~esCourtney Cocks who shove microphones and cameras in his face.·PRESS, · Sheriff Duty ·stands on the front steps, talking to the.

DAY- STATION POLICE-EXT

Cindy hugs Sheriff Duty gratefully.They lead him away.

up •••. was set.I didn •t do it!IswearI 'l'INGLETIM

· · through the glass. struggles against them, eerily staring right at Cindy

He GUARDS come from either side and escort Tim Tingle out.

away. Take,him (to GUARDS) SHERIFF DUTY

pulling the "pagina." The one number J.him -That's CINDY

he has tucked his dick between his legs.through as ON Tim Tingle's butt - the head of his penis pokesCLOSE

we see their bare butts. PANNING from behind the suspects,

They stand resplendent in the nude.their underwear. and whip off As the song ends, they turn around in unison,

up for the big finale. Finally, they're left standing in their underwear, gearing

· man-breas~s. and another with wearing woman's underwear and garter belt, we reveal one guy dance and strip to the music,As.they

Monty." "The Fulla la The suspects begin to do a strip-tease,

Baby take off your clothes ••• (sings) COCKERJOE

on."

Your HatLeaveCanIOYou HEAR Joe Cocker's From the radio we

and a menorah.incense, She lights candles,

She adds bubble bath to the running water.towel. Cindy sits at the edge of her bathtub, wearing only a

NIGHT- BATHROOMCINDY'S-INT

They walk off together.

we could go out too.guessI but "fuck,." was going to sayIWell COURTNEY

Go on a date? DUTY SHERIFF

and ••• sometime Maybe you and me could get together (seductively) COURTNEY

Thanks. (shyly) DUTY SHERIFF

some police work.That's (flirtatiously)

I -

was wrong about you .••IguessI (catching up) COURTNEY

him. her mike and followsdownand Courtney putsHe walks off,

questions ••• No more we've got our man.easy - our community can now restmurder. has been arrested and charged with Tim Tingle After a positive I.D., DUTY SHERIFF

About the case? COURTNEY

Rancho Cucamunga ••• born in26, Well I'm a Sagittarius, DUTY SHERIFF

us? you tellcanwhat Sheriff Duty, COURTNEY

I, I.

j A beat. She is in deep relaxation.

the water.o·fsurface BUBBLES rise to theFARTof Cindy' sTwo1BLOOP1BLOOP

eyes in tranquility then relaxes back into the tub, closing herShe hangs up,

you too.Love CINDY

Love you.O.K. I SKEET

She shaves her face.

sleep~ then go to I'm just going to take a bathNo, CINDY

She shaves her armpits.II

SKEET

tired. guess I'm just a littleIsorry. CINDY

legs. a razor and leans back to shave hergrabsthenShe SIGHS,

boyfriend? your You know,Skeet. It's me, VOICE

Who is this? (alarmed) CINDY

Hello Cindy. VOICE

Hello? CINDY

picks up.SheRING. anxiously. phone RINGS, startling her. · She eyes thep~oneThe..

SIGH of relaxation • leans back and gives a deep

She and steps into the sudsy bath.She drops her towel

She CLICKS over.

on. hang Oh, sorry - CINDY.

Still me·. t SCARY VOICE

Hello? CINDY

ov~r. She CLICKS

A beat.

on a sec? can you hang my other line.That's CINDY

SOUNDS. waitingll."callHerCLICK! ~ I'm going to ••• ~ SCARY VOICE t She listens in horror.

Wrong. was arrested?That I VOICE SCARY

But I thought ••• CINDY

including straps and a bow. The bubble's farm a perfect two-piece bikini over her,

scene. - it's the same one from the firstSCARY VOICEthe

Cindy stands straight up in terror at the recognition of

me? Hello Cindy, miss ( from phone) VOICE.SCARY,

tired ••• just tooI;m I told youSkeet, CINDY

warily.

up it She picks The phone RINGS, startling her again.

oo.

A beat. CROWD holds it's breath in anticipation.

TEAM HOME lies there· in pain as theHe•.turffirst on the

The Receiver is hit in mid-air and lands headCRUNCH!

••.· ball~·the up for RECEIVER goes

His a pass over the middle. He fades back and throws

quarterback.te~home Jake as theFEATURING A heated football game is underway,

FIELD ON THE

packed with STUDENTS who watch the action on the field. bleacherstoplaysBAND MARCHINGthe-game It's the-big

DAY- FIELD FOOTBALLSCHOOLHIGH-EXT

I over. I. horror - it's notinphone_thel.ooks atSheHe hangs up.

Bye. you. But I'm still going to killYeah. SCARY -VOICE

·could you? CINDY

call.you back.couldI SCARY VOICE

I'm still here.uh ••• it's me.Yeah, SCARY VOICE

Hello? CINDY

She CLICKS over.

on. Hang CINDY

Me again. VOICE SCARY

Hello? CINDY

•76

plastic baqqie, as if he were tossing him a bag of peanuts. The Drug Dealer tosses the Student a crack rock in a

I'll take a bag of crack! _STUDENT

A STUDENT shouts out.

crack! Mushrooms!cocaine! DEALE'RDRUG

narcotics •. only his contains concession tray around his neck - A DRUG DEALER walks down another aisle, also with a

Candy apples!Hot dogs1Peanuts! VENDOR

his neck. A VENDOR walks down the aisle with a concession tray around

probably just a crank call. It was It's not him,-he's in jail. SKEET

voice. know thatI .•• I'm telling you (mid:...conversat-ion) CINDY

watching the game. FEATURE Cindy and Skeet,we

BLEACHERSIN THE

It all comes down toYou said it. 2 ANNOUNCER

game! What a 1 ANNOUNCER

Sitting behind a sideline booth, giving the play by play.

SPORTSCASTERSTWOON

spine poking through his uniform.

we see his waiving to the crowd, he trots off the field,As

up as the home crowd APPLAUDS.The Receiver finally gets

ball.the calls forand Jake lines up under the CENTER,

· cow. of a

"Moo"the HEAR We even GROWLJ;NG. SNORTING andeach other,

dig in againstLINEMANDEFENSIVEAND The BEEFY OFFENSIVE•.

They CLAP hands and come to the line.

b:teak! Ready - 3.".. formation on"I"weak side (giving play) JAKE

HUDDLETHE BACK IN

Cindy looks around for Skeet, who's nowhere in sight.

BLEACHERSIN THE

ass. Nice LINEMAN

BACK on the butt.RUNNI~Gaand pats The Lineman turns

Nice block. RECEI~R

LINEMAN on the butt. The Receiver turns and pats a

Nice catch. JAKE

RECEIVER on the butt.aJake pats

HUDDLETHEIN ON THE FIELD -BACK

He exits.

No thanks. CINDY

you want anything?nachos, I don't ••• I'm going to get someNo, SKEET

She nervously swigs a bottle of tequila and chain-smokes.

You think I'm paranoid, don't you? CINDY

BAND MARCHINGTHEON

Killer's dagger. styrofoam hatchets, they use styrofoam replicas of the but instead of" "Tomahawk Chop,does thecrowd·The home t STANDS IN THE

quarterback. wants to kill thereallyHe 2 ANNOUNCER

through those blockers. 666 is slicing his wayNumber 1 ANNOUNCER·

· SPORTSCASTERSON THE

Ahhh"! JAKE

brandishing the knife.him,straight for and he runs a free path to Jake,The Killer now has

Hey, it's all you man. (to Killer) LINEMAN OFFENSIVE

Lineman immediately steps back.I and the Offensivejagged knife, The Killer whips out hisI

The helmet to helmet.COLLIDE,The two linesSMASH!

and hikes the ball anyway.The Center shrugs,

••• Holy shit! (cont'd.) JAKE

666. number on his jersey -right down to the a football player, The Killer has disguised himself as

helmet1 under hison - one DEFENSIVE LINEBACKER has the Casper maskTo his horror,

Jake looks across at the defense.

JAKE

some setting library books on fire.then finally,·lighters, some flicking STUDENTS holding candles,somePAN acrosswe

mourn. and-PARENTSTEACHERS, A candlelight vigil is being held - dozens of STUDENTS,

NIGHT- SCHOOLHIGH-EXT

CUT TO: t

escapes. his whistle,- and _the Killer·blowsThe RefereeTOOT!

then a cartwheel. a backflip, the splits,dance - Who celebrates the murder by doing an elaborate endzone

KILLER ON THE

BACK TO REAL TIME:

leafblowers, cleaning up Jake"s remains. GARDENERS withcrew ofa: In the background we see

This time in slow motion.

PLAYED AGAIN:SCENEDEATHJAKE'S

JUMP CUT:

Let's see that again in slow motion! 2. ANNOUNCER

the highlight reel. ·makeThat' 11 1 ANNOUNCER.

and guts flying out the other side of the mower . sending his blood The Killer runs over Jake,WHIRRRR!!!

••• No ••• no JAKE

The Killer catches up to Jake.

"BOOS!" the touchback.Home CrowdThe

touchback. Jake runs into the opposing eridzone - scoring a

hot pursuit.in lawn mower, still

a now riding Jake looks over his shoulder to see the Killer

THE FIELDONBACK

from "Halloween.·.,themeWho now play the

•..lip· herpes sore on her upper and we now see a giantback into lens,Courtney turns.,

off in tears.walksHe

..• little bastardhorney that miss. ••• I 'm gonna.meForgive (sniffles a tear)· pages ••• "Jugs" between thea copy ofhad he knew but I to read his textbook, of class, pretendingthe backinsit. to usedHe geome~ry. had him inI (heartfelt) CURTISMR.

What are your memories of Quentin? COURTNEY I. I teach math.Mr. Curtis, CURTISMR.

name? me sir, what's yourExcuse (to Curtis) COURTNEY

CURTIS.MR. nearby elderly man,aShe interviews

word with one of the mourners •••a Let's see if we can getSchroeder. students Quentin Green and Jake candlelight vigil is underway for Kevin Williamson High where a This is Courtney Cocks live from (into microphone) COURTNEY

You're on. CAMERAMAN

tears.-actu·re onion in her eyes to manuf

an She rubs by with her Cameraman.Courtney Cocks stands

holding their own candles. FEATURE Cindy and Skeet,we Among the sorrowful crowd,

HEMP.". "LEGALIZE and finally'JAKE,""REMEMBER

QUENTIN,"YOU,MISS "WE'LL which read: Some hold signs

and rushes off.

her candledrops so saddened that she loses it - sheShe;s

SKEETAND ON CINDY

". ... high so my nigga's can getmy casket,iil "Told my mama if I die ••• Put a blunt (reads through tears) FONZY PRINCIPAL

on his reading glasses.putsanda cue card,9uttakesHe

Shaku-r. prime - the late rapper Tupac man who was also cut down in his poem by a youngshare·aI'd like to In honor of our departed students, (solemn} FONZY PRINCIPAL

addresses the crowd of mourners.

who The cameraman turns the lens on Principal Fonzy,

also killed Jake. believe· that whoever killed Quentin, Our investigation has led us to out. His alibi checkedyesterday. Tingle, the suspect we arrestedTim Charges were dropped againstYes. DUTY SHERIFF

matching Courtney's. giant herpes sore on his upper lip,

a and we see he also has Sheriff Duty turns to the camera,I

the killing"s related?Are COURTNEY

• J She points .her camera and mike in his face •

Sheriff Duty ••• (spots Sheriff Duty) · over. The killing is notwidespread fear. still lurks atheresadness, And yet underneath thetonight. grief stricken who've turned out from one of the manyTouching words (into lens) COURTNEY

3.7

)

up at him in dread.She looksA beat. •

know about it. I• We're the only one's wholet it go. Just The secret died with him.it. r only one who could've known about the wasHe dead. Listen, Tingle' s I SKEET

aside.Cipdy Skeet pulls

technicalities ••• not going to quibble overI'm DUTY SHERIFF

innocent~· But he was CINDI:

Lethal injection. We executed him this morning. DUTY SHERIFF

What?! CINDY

•. Tim Tingle' s dead DUTY SHERIFF

Halloween his brother •.• Last It's about Time Tingle. need to talk to you.ISheriff Duty, CINDY

She rushes off toward Sheriff Duty.

on! Hang SKEET

She breaks his hold.

going to confess.rmdiarrhea ••• guilt, the pressure, the The anymore.this I can't live with CINDY

and grabs her.upHe catches

going? where are you-hey~ey, SKEET

· Buffy~ Congratulations, DANIELLE

Heather and_Danielle hug Buffy in congratulations.

, won!I Oh my god - t BUFFY I The audience APPLAUDS. t Buffy Michelle Geller!! f CHUCK WOOLERY

SOUNDS. DRUMROLLA

High Homecoming Queen is ••• And this year's Kevin Williamson (into mic) CHUCK WOOLERY

crowd. addresses the CHUCK WOOLERY, wearing a tuxedo,HOST -The

· Fellatio" "Miss Buffy's reads: Congeniality""Missreads: Danielle's Universe""Miss Heather's ribbon reads:

across them.~raped eveninggowns with ribbons

wear Danielle,. and HeatherBuffy,-The three finalists

STAGEON

filled with STUDENTS.isThe audience

CEREMONY" "!JOMECOMING. A banner reads:

NIGHT- AUDITORIUMSCHOOL-INT

" life ••••· fo my niggabealways " ••• 'cause you'll (cont'd speech) FONZY PRINCIPAL

passing Principal Fonzy.They rush off,

And Buffy. CINDY

wings. to thePANwe glory,of. stands in her momentAs·.suffy

BACK INSIDE

off. ·rushesHe

here. you wait I'll go around the back, , f SKEET

I It's locked. CINDY

they're locked.

- YANK on the auditorium doorsup andrunSkeetCindy and

OUTSIDE

l thank youyou -thankOh, BUFFY

against her head.

SHATTER and waives as the vasesShe smilesCRASHlSMASHl

then they toss rose vases. The audience toss roses at her,

the crowd. and waiving-toblowing kisses She walks to center stage,

Miss Kevin Here she comes, (sings) WOOLERYCHUCK

a squeeze. then gives her assroom key,a·_herhandsHe

hour. one place -My Remember the deal. WOOLERYCHUCK

her ear:in then whispers her on both cheeks,kissesHe

tiara on her head.

and a Chuck Woolery places a bouquet of roses in her hand,

but thanks.bitches, know you two are just being phoneyI BUFFY

you deserve it.Yeah, /)____I\ HEATHER /-", '

floor prompter pit. She"s face.to face with the Killer-- he's in the stage

back around and SCREAMS!She turnsfor :the Killer. behind herchecking to the end of the stage,crawlsBuffy • • BACK INSIDE I lip! Open r CINDY t do~~- on the lockedBANGSCin~y I OUTSIDE

Someone please help me ••• , BUFFY

she was a stripper.

as if bills at her,$1 members of the crowd throwMALEThe

crowd. WHIPPING blood from her hair into theside - from side to swinging her head She crawls down the runway, I. ...No I BUFFY.

brandishing a knife. she looks back to see the Killer in the wings,Terrified,

of blood, trying to get it off her. as she jogs in place in a puddleUP"What a Feeling"song

Jennifer Beals in "Flashdance." DOUSE her, like SPLASH!' Three more bucketsSPLASH!SPLASH!

A beat. She collapses in a chair.

1 Aahhh! BUFFY

SCREAMS. up her blood dripping hands andholds

She as the audience GASPS.DOUSES her,The pig's blood

BUFFYON

· SPLASH! tipping the. bucket -He pulls the rope,

"Carrie."a la directly over Buffy's head,rafter The bucket is perched atop aBLOOD.PIG'Slabeled: He holds a rope tied to a bucket1..LURKSKILLERTHE

THE WINGSIN

7 7 •

some even have scuba gear.Students-swim around, with blood, like a water tank.fiilednowThe place is

INSIDE

? the •••'What CINDY I. jam. blood seeps through the doorsuddenly,

a jackhammer.finally,and She then puts on a welders mask and blowtorches,avail. a crowbar, to no.with Cindy tries to pry the doors open

OUTSIDE

deep.

ankle The blood fills the auditorium,doors.,locked.the POUND on on her blood as they franticallycrow9_slipsThe

HUMAN SPRINKLER.her look like a

making Blood now shoots out of her in ridiculous torrents,

then ears.nose, Blood spurts out of· her eyes,WHOOSH!WHOOSH!open dam. Blood shoots out like an-WHOOSH! She opens her mouth and

SCREECH in horror. The audience spots her and

her stab wounds like fire hoses.

from She's gushing blood As she staggers out of the pit.

ON BUFFY_

the doors are all locked!

- but head for the exitsfreaked out, The audience members,

CRUNCHING and FLESH TEARING.BONESthe sounds ofHEARWe

•••• AAHHlt'NO! HELP !! STOP BUFFY

Bu_ffy getting slaughtered. HEAR the AGONIZING SCREAMS ofweFrom under the floor,

go? where'd she The audience look around confused -

Nooe ••• dragged under)she's(as BUFFY

under the stage. he pulls her Bumps her head asBAM!and He grabs her arms

I• ,

She looks at him a tense beat.Skeet and Cindy pull up.

NIGHT- HOUSE CINDY'S-EXT

She frowns suspiciously.

SIGNS. "EXI'r"NEON him to see 3 FLASHINGpast.She. looks

it. ... couldn't find!but was looking for the back entrance,I SKEET

Where have youBuffy 's dead.Skeet, CINDY

Just then, Skeet appears.

?1 Buffy •.• Buffy •.• killer? who's theBuffy - CINDY

Cindy takes off her walkman headphones.

I can't hear you ••.Wait; I CINDY I. and Buffy WHISPERS to her.Cindy leans in closer,

The Killer is •.• (dying words) BUFFY

but STILL ALIVE.-a bloody messBuffy's

Buffy! CINDY

Cindy rushes to her.

on the front steps. leaving Buffy to beach The auditorium drains,auditorium. over Cindy as Students are washed out of theBlood.SPLASHES

'

in a big wave. and blood floods outBURST open,The doors finallyBOOM!

--------~----- ---------------

Dad. Thanks., CINDY • want to talk • thought you mightfriends dying, t heard about yourIpumpkin.Hi, I ( f ram phone) CAMPBELLMR.

Hello? CINDY

· apprehensively. She picks up startling her.RINGS,The phone

,•_::,,-·.. -c......-..-:,._. ••• Cindy changes the channel.

•• acupunctu~e; found ShiatzuIuntil muscles were tight and tensemy••• (cont'd.) PINHEAD

body. stick out of his as hundreds of needlesa.towelwearing justHe stands up, d

Pinhead •••~e,fromTake it PINHEAD·

DOCTOR performs acupuncture.on him.CHINESE

a from "Hellraiser,". lies on a massage table asPINHEAD,

T.V. ON THE

late.night infomercials. Cindy's on the couch watching T.V., but all that's on is

NIGHT- ROOM LIVING-INT

TO: CUT

Man's Party."ltDeadBoingo's He drives off, his car radio BLARING OingoShe exits.

I'll pick you up in thedoors. Just stay inside and lock your promise.Io.k. Hey, it's gonna be ·SKEET

And then there were two. CINDY

1• t

80. I

got a ••• woman's And the that's right.Uh ••• taken ab.ack)( CAMPBELLMR. •

Cock? ) t CINDY '

... a ...a the man's gotseeYou , things you should know.somes. there ' know you"re modest ••• butNow I CAMPBELLMR. ,

... oa-ad CINDY

we had that talk. this but ••• I think it ' s timeabout· ••.• your mother would 've been better struggling for words)(• •... knowYou CAMPBELLMR.

She changes the channel.

shooter ••• now, I'll through in a salad And if you act to slice a tomato. sharp enoughstill"is;andligaments, and through bone, cartilage, , It cuts and Decker does it all.· ) The new bodycount buzzsaw from Black LEATHERFACE

different human body parts with a chainsaw. from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," cuts throughLEATHERFACE,

T.V. ON THE

She flips to another infomercial.

guess. Fine ••• I CINDY

doing?Skeet How are you and CAMPBELLMR.

I'm not sure. CINDY

You feeling allright? ~~/..''--...t ; \ CAMPBELLMR. ~~\

I r

I

·-·..,. ; A SHADOWY FIGURE approaches.

Dad, is that you? CINDY • and squints to see who• s there •eyesShe rubs herher.

wakingopen, CREAKS Her door Cindy lies asleep in bed.

NIGHT BEDROOM -CINDY'SINT -

Dad, I'll always be your littleOh, -'CINDY

anymore. guess you"re not daddy's little girl I you"ve grown up so fast.Gosh, judgement. I trust yourSkeet, whatever you decide to do withWell, CAMPBELLMR.

She turns it off.

••• hunter.greenand White, fuchsia, comes in three fashionable colors. and It's light, durable,by Remco. the hockey maskusethat's why ISo , MEYERS MICHAEL )

mask. ·"Halloween," models his hockey from MICHAEL MEYERS, Another infomercial plays.

THE T.V.ON

school. Boy, the things they teach you in CAMPBELLMR.

nut? Bump uglies until the man busts a (blurts out) CINDY

So the man and woman •.• uh •.. uh ••• O.K ••• uh ••. yes, that's uh .•. correct. CAMPBELLMR.

Pussy1 CINDY

r

,

Don't •.••• CINDY

her._ She cowers as the Killer raises the knife overknives. They miss, but stick into the wall behind as if they were

beater at the Killer.

an~ and turkey baster, instead she throws a spatula, so utensils-· no knives.the.remainingthrough'looksShe

·Ohno, Fluffy! CINDY

The knife misses, but STABS her CAT, pinning it toMEOW! • ducks. I

who up a knife and throws it at the Killer,She picks

1. Nooo ••• CINDY

a drawer filled with kitchen utensils.outShe dumps

KITCHENIN THE

with the Killer in pursuit. She runs off into the kitchen,

"The Thinker."Rodans' now carved into· The sawdust clears to reveal the endtable's

sending wood chips everywhere • STABS at the endtable,heGROWLS at her asThe Killer

Get back! Get back! CINDY

She SNAPS a whip at him.CRACK!

him off like a lion-tamer.and fendsgrabs an endtable,

She lunges at her with a knife.jumps out of bed as· heShe

AAHHHH! (screams) CINDY

THE KILLER!IT'S She turns on the lights to reveal -

? Dad ••• ,,,.,)____,...(, CINDY Y\

I

r

Courtney turns to her cameraman.

it. but ••• this time I really meanYeah, DUTY SHERIFF

time? Didn "t you say that last· COURTNEY

jostles for position.CocksCourtney

got our man. we've community can now rest easy - Our the serial murderer was killed. Thanks to the heroics of Cindy here, DUTY SHERIFF

the PRESS.

MEDIA, etc.COPS, The place is now a full crime scene -

NIGHT HOUSE - CINDY'SEXT -

Cotton.Blend! {gasps) CINDY

THE KILLER IS ••• COTTON BLEND.

mask •••th~ slowly, then reaches down and.takes off Cindy approaches the bodyhe collapses dead.Finally,

HEAD.HIS·

ON and even WINDMILLSPOP-LOCKS,WORM,He does themoves:

The JOLTS cause him to do elaborate hip-hopZAP!ZIP!

· break-dancing in time to the beat. The Killer's twitching body startsHIP-HOP MUSIC UP.

causing him to convulse and gyrate.body, Electrical JOLTS shoot through the Killer'sZEE!ZAP!ZIP!

now wet clothes.hitting his

him, She throws a plugged in toaster atSPLASH!at him -

she TOSSES a glass of water Just as he's about to stab her,

'I

· and ·snorts it. Comet Cleanser,·ofa lineou-adumps· GUY Another of coke.linea snortingGUY, They pass one

movie.the minutes left.in all the killing ended with still 20 amazing thatAnd it• sbehind me. That everything bad' sclosure. finally haveI I'm feeling like (a beat) Yeah. CINDY I

What a party. , SKEET

OUT. KNOCKING HIMSELFhead, then CLANGS! it into his own The third finishes off a keg,

head·.-own it over hisSMASHES a bottle, then The next chugs •. CRUNCHES it against his foreheadone chugs a beer, then

DRUNKEN DUDESON THREE

· drinking ••• dancing, loud music, in full swing -is A raucous party

HOUSETHEIN

Skeet and Cindy enter.

TEENAGERS enter the house party. Dozens of cars are parked haphazardly on the lawn as

orange and black streamers, etc. lanterns~jack 'o The house is decorated for Halloween -

NIGHT- HOME SUBURBANEXT -

IN FADE

HALLOWEEN-199831, OCTOBER Superimposed:.

OUT FADE

bring you the story first. porn, or animal husbandry, I'll kiddie- .1.f it's murder,Remember, signing off.C~cks,Co~rtneyisThis Campbell.Cindy her daughter,by was killed murdered Joan Campbell, Cotton Blend, the man whotwist, In an ironichave it.youthereAnd (into lens) COURTNEY

I 'I

something stronger. he needs dented -it•s He pulls back the blade to find

bush~· SLASHES at theHeTHWACK!an~a macheteoutwhipsHe

emanating from her untamed forest.

WILDTHE HEAR the primitive sounds of the CALL OFWe

BUSH OF PUBIC HAIR fills the screen.Her enormousPOOF,!

panties ••• lowers·hershe gleam with heated anticipation aseyesHis

Here, let me ••• CINDY

panties, but struggles. t He tries to take off hercontinue to makeout.TheyI

With not one, but two nipples.

•\ sexy. .,

how a superfluous nipple -Wow, t SKEET I

bra off and looks at her breasts.

gets herHe making out. Skeet and Cindy lie on the bed,

BEDROOMIN THE- UPSTAIRS

beer. She drinks down the now chunky

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! PARTYGOERS

into the funnel.

the beer outdrains Just as she GIRL, who's beer-bonging.

a They pass him upstairs •hand and leadsShe takes his

gonna prove it •r•mAnd tonight (whispers in his ear) love you.And I CINDY

love you.IHey, SKEET

there for me. I Throughout all of this, you've been, Skeet,·. I'm sorry I ever doubted you. CINDY .I./_______,\ ~\ ' ..

'

SIT-'N"-SPIN.HUMANhim like aonaround on him, spinningsitsCindydear life asfor Skeet hangs on

BEDROOMTHE BACK IN

· CRUMBLES from the action in the bedroom.

and CRACKS, PARTYGOERS look up as the ceiling THUMPS,The

DOWNSTAIRS

really getting into it. and harder,harder,him to a frown as she ridesturns His smile and rides him hard.on top of him,climbsShe

•••mein. woman Oh, Skeet, you've unleashed the CINDY

and they make beautiful. love.He finally gets it right,

Still not it. CINDY

He thrusts in again.I.

sorry. SKEET

That's not it. (surprised) CINDY

her and thrusts in.mountsHe

prematurely ejaculate.' promise ••• I'll try not toI SKEET

love you.I CINDY

and liquid pours out. He takes his mask off,

mask, fins.

snorkel scuba gear - tank,now wearing fullcomes back up, Skeet beat.A delight.inMOANS arches her back andCindy

••• border down below theway·kissing hisher,· gets on top ofHe

as pubes fly everywhere.He trims her bush,WHIRRRRRR!

wacker.weedaUP FIRES protective goggles andonHe putsr\

mounting dread.phone-witheyes the~he

The phone RINGS, startling her.RING!RING!

Principal Fonzy, who's also been killed.

FEATURE Among them we in terror over the bodies.WEEPSShe

not Dad!No, CINDY

- also lying there dead.DAD She looks in horror to see her

1 Skeetl CINDY

BLOOD. DEAD IN A POOL OFLYING-

SKEET She spots Cindy walks terrified through the bodies.

on a medieval rack. chair, another is guillotined, while another is stretched one is. fried in an electrica noose,byhangingis-One

KILLED!BEENHASPARTY AT THE EVERYONE

what she sees.~tSCREAMS Cindy descends the stairs and

DOWNSTAIRS

you? Skeet •.• where are CINDY

the hall.down She ventures

Skeet? CINDY

and puts her clothes on.of bed,outShe gets

Skeet? CINDY

to· find Skeet's gone.She wakesSleeping in bed.

CINDYON

LAPSE:TIME

..•.Weee Weee! CINDY

oo.

whoever you are, let's go.o~,come CINDY

Killer.theac.esf She turns and

victim anymore. going.to be theI'm notrunning, I'm tired ofit.that's-No CINDY

in her tracks.stopsshegets away, the distraction to dash past him, but before sheusesShe

his head, blinding him. she grabs a moo-moo and throws it overquic~ly,·Thinking

SCREAMS~Cindy

as HACKS at the closet door,The KillerSPLINTER!THWACK!

of the closet.corner cowers in theshe Jamie Lee Curtis in "Halloween,"Like

IN THE CLOSET

and hides in a closet.She runs She dashes off down the hall,· with the Killer giving chase.

AAHHH! CINDY

THUD! ground with a and the Killer clumsily drops to theSNAPSThe beamCRACK!

silently behind her from a ceiling beam.downhimself lowering Suddenly, above her we now reveal the Killer,

nowhere in sight.the Killer's she looks wildly around, butSca~~d,He hangs up.CLICK.

Tonight you' re going to die. SCARY VOICE

SOBBING heap, clutching the phone.She collapses in a

who Cindy?Guess (from phone) VOICE SCARY

? H-hello ••• --//...•'-- (picks up) i \ CINDY y--\

he charges her.· Now armless,arm.left She hacks. off the Killer'sTHWACK!

•.•~admy This is for CINDY

again. lungeshe by the spewing stump, Undaunted She hacks off the Killer's right arm.1THWACK

••• my mom This is for CINDY

axe. but she's quicker with her The Killer raises his knife,

and grabs the axe. She breaks the glass,SMASH!

GLASS"BREAK- MANIAC HOMICIDALOFCASE"IH reading:

Another case, also containing an axe, but this label

GLASS" BREAK-. FIRE

OF CASE"IN with a label reading:case,glassin a~An

W"-LLTHEON

She looks around for a weapon.

fecal matter SPLATTERS against the wall.Behind the Killer,

combo at him.viciousaShe throwsSOCK!KICK!PUNCH!

you...of shit outthe I'm gonna beat CINDY

in the other arm.cuts her again,HeSLASH!

sumo-thonged butt.his we see the Killer's cloak is cut out to revealFrom behind,

upa GRUNTING and CHALKING They squat like Sumo wrestlers,

UP her high heel shoe.

COUGHS he actuallyass,the so hard inhim She kicksBAM!

sonofabitch!You CINDY

Ii.;

i i mask.his over eye now see a blackweand him in the eye,SOCKSSheBAM! - dukesher She raises two boxers.likeoff They square

bodybag. CORONER wheels the Killer out in a·theconsoles her asHe

DUTY AND SHERIFFC~NDYON

sensationalized news ••• shocking, exploitative, you live with this breaking, coming to This is Courtney Cocks, (into camera)_ COURTNEY

Courtney Cocks is on the scene, broadcasting.course,Of

MEDIA, etc.COPS,-scene huge crimenow a The place is

NIGHT HOUSE -EXT -

LAPSE:TIME

it's over.o.k.,It's DUTY SHERIFF

She's in shock.of her hand.out- He takes the axe

It's over.- Cindy, he's dead. DUTY SHERIFF-

Duty. ARMS grab her from behind - it's SheriffTWOSuddenly,

him. finish and again raises the axe toCindy follows,unconscious. The Killer lands at the bottom of the stairs, lying

DOWNSTAIRS

TUMBLES down the staircase.

and he TEETERS back,him,off Just as she"s about to

at her.sccnTs Unfazed by the loss of limbs, the Killer

just a torso and head. leaving himleg,last She hacks off the Killer'sTHWACK!

and for world peace •••killed, you· else everyone And this is for CINDY

the Killer lunges again.on one. leg, Now HOPPING off the Killer's right leg..hacks·SheTHWACK!

This is for Skeet ..• CINDY

the gun.COCKSCindy move in,CopsThe

••• keep rolling. to cameraman)( Please don't ••• · COURTNEY

holdin_g her hostage. head; to hergun She grabs Courtney Cocks and puts the

to. haveI CINDY

want to do this. You don ' t put the gun down!Cindy,· DUTY SHERIFF

then train them on Cindy.COPS draw their guns,All

backl Everyone get (waiving gun) CINDY

from his holster.it

and yanks she lunges for Sheriff Duty's revolver,Suddenly,

to the Coroner's van. Cindy watches distrustfully as the Coroner wheels the body

Get him out of here. coroner)(to DUTY SHERIFF

No. CINDY

" don't take off the mask, don't take off the mask ••• "Cindy, Her MOM'S VOICE echoes in her head -A long beat.

· is? Killer the Don't you want to know who (to Cindy) DUTY SHERIFF

The Coroner stops.

Hold it. (to Coroner) DUTY SHERIFF

gold. you bastard, this isKeep rolling, · to cameraman)( COURTNEY

in his eyes.~earswith

her,by The cameraman puts down his camera and also kneels

organs. ••• they missed all your vital

... make it in there, kid, you're going toaan:g I. DUTY SHERIFF

cradling her head tenderly.

by her, Sheriff Duty kneels· As she lies bloody and dying.

COCKS ON COURTNEY

PEELING OUT down the road.Cindy hijacks the van,VROOM!

lies in a bodybag in back. unharmed, runs to the van where the KillerCindy,bloody. Courtney drops to the ground, bullet ridden andThey stop.

fire! Hold your DUTY SHERIFF

shooting Courtney with a hail of bullets. - mistakenlyOPEN FIREAll CopsBLAST!POW! BLAM!

Huh?! COURTNEY

FIRE! (turns to Cops) Then you leave me no choice. DUTY SHERIFF

No. CINDY

Just put the gun down. SHERIFF DUTY

I ••• you getting all this? (to cameraman) me ••• Cindy, don't hurtPlease, COURTNEY

Everyone get back or I'll kill her! CINDY

cliff. it into gear and aims it for the edge of theShe.jams

No,. no ••• CINDY

with his mouth - Still alive! holding onto the hood ornamentonto the grill of the van,

jumped Cindy looks up to see that the Killer has.lTHUD

steering wheel, exhausted. she collapses against the Satisfied that he's dead,

road.thein motionless She repeats this until he lies

- rolls over him. She throws it in reverse and CRUNCH!

him. RAMS . She SMACK! FLOORS IT·- jams it into gear andShe

alive!Still The Killer rears up on his torso -

Come on, get up ••• get up ••• CINDY

10 feet in front of the van.He lands in the road,

SMASHING through the windshield. She SLAMS on the brakes, sending the KillerSCREECH!

1 ••••No· CINDY

lunges over the seat, trying to bite her jugular.He the Killer UNZIPS the bodybag with his mouth.Just then,

The Killer's still alive!SQUIRMING - She looks in the rearview mirror, to see the bodybag·

River. Dawson's which reads: She winds along the steep cliffs passing a signthe back. down the road in the van, with the bodybag inCindy speeds

NIGHT- ROAD WINDYAND -DARKEXT

He leans down and kisses her blood-filled mouth.

me one last time ••••.• kiss (she coughs up blood) me •.•Kiss COURTNEY

to Duty.turnsShe

9-L

HER MOTHER!! JOAN CAMPBELL -ISXILLERTRUETHE

Mom?! (gasps) CINDY

••• reveal mask toJesus· She pulls off the Cindy realizes this. is also a mask.

smoke?Got a JESU.S CHRIST

CHRIST! is ••• JESUS killerreal-the rev~al off the Martha Stewart mask to She pulls is a mask..too Cindy realizes thisIn a twist,

image. I'm trying to change my MARTHA STEWART

why?But Martha Stewart?! CINDY

STEWART! that it's ••• MARTHAto:reveal She unmasks the Killer

you are. have to know whoIknow.have toI 'CINDY

She stares at the masked Killer..

DEAD!NOT HE'S STILLhead - The Killer lifts his

van. approaches the Killer, who's pinned under the smoldering Cindy is battered, bruised and generally fucked up.· She

landing on the rocky shore.the van,fromCindy is thrown

impact. EXPLODING on lands in a fiery heap,vanTheKABOOM!!!

BELOW ROCKSTHEON

side of the cliff with the Killer still on the hood. CRASHING down thevan goesth~and She drives off the edge,

11 Aahhhh •••. CINDY

' ..

-·--·-----·-----------.....-~..-.

DAY DORMITORY - INT- COLLEGE

IN FADE-

LATERYEAR ONE Superimposed:

off her mom's head.lopsSheTHWACK!

.. you in hell.-•..see~· CINDY

and raises it over Joan's head.an~She picks up

•• Mom~Oh, CINDY

Tears well in Cindy's eyes.

••. _last. were the You My revenge was almost complete. CAMPBELLJOAN

Mom. sorry, CINDY

· mother. I'm still your Watch your mouth, JOAN CAMPBELL_

_Slut! CINDY

My lovers. CAMPBELLJOAN

? ••• Blend Tim Tingle, CottonaboutWhat CINDY

revenge.my came back to takeI CAMPBELLJOAN-

a step back, reeling with the horrible truth.Cindy takes

alive. You all buried me Only clinically. JOAN CAMPBELL

dead.were But I thought you CINDY

CREDITSENDROLL

OUT FADE

SCREAMS in horror.Cindy

••• HALLOWEENLAST.DIDYOUWHAT KNOW STILLI.

mirror: on the wr~tten she sees a message As the steam parts,

Diggler in "Boogie Nights."Dirkher legs, like 12" PENIS dangling between She drops her towel, revealing a

A beat.

You're a survivor •••You survived. (to her reflection) CINDY

a hard look at herself.takesand She walks to a mirror,

envelopes the room.Steam

l: in the shower stall. : I

and turns on the hot water.wearing a towel,Cindy enters,

' I'.') Ij 97. JI