"SCARY MOVIE" (2000)

A dark and spooky night.

The place is decorated for Halloween - jack ‘o lanterns,

-" orange and black streamers, human heads on sticks...

CINDY, our heroine, 17 and pretty in a Neve Campbell, Jennifer Love Hewitt way, ah fuck it - just picture any

“Party of Five" type - talks on the cordless. phone while

watching "Halloween" on T.V. CINDY.

' (into phone) «++O.K., SO pick me up in ten.

CLICK.

IN THE KITCHEN .

She opens the pantry, rummaging for a snack. We. FEATURE

several frightening food products: Count Chocula and Frankenberry cereal, and devil's food © cake.

She grabs a tin-skillet of “Jiffy Pop Popcorn," and puts -

-it on the Lit stove.

The phone RINGS. . re CINDY © Hello? SCARY VOICE

(from phone) Hello Cindy. —

‘SCARY VOICE | It's not Quentin... —

DING DONG! The doorbell CHIMES.

| She walks to the front door and opens it to reveal four CHILDREN in Halloween costumes.

Distracted, She reaches for the bowl of candy, but instead grabs the other items on the table ~- bottles of iiquor, - marijuana joints, and hypodermic needles.

She dumps the narcotics and booze in their candy bags.

CINDY — (to children) —— Have a safe Halloween.

She closes the door on the surprised toddlers. CINDY (into phone) Who is this?

a SCARY VOICE You have a sexy voice. It's too bad your boyfriend left you all alone on Halloween. : .

Through the window we FEATURE the Children, now gleefully swigging the booze, smoking the » joint, and shoowrng the

smack.

(hangs up) Loser.

IN THE KITCHEN

The tin-skillet expands with the POPPING « corn, ‘finally oe OPEN. ; .

slice.

- POP! PING! PANG! Kernels SHOOT through the kitchen, SMASHING Plates and SHATTERING glasses.

The phone RINGS again.

Cindy eyes the phone, getting ; a little freaked. RING. RING. :

Cindy CLICKS OFF as she looks down in horror at her tight © blue sweater. Whoever's on the line can see her!

SCARY MUSIC UP

We. FOLLOW Cindy as she rushes through the house, shutting the curtains and blinds. With every step, the tension — mounts...

CRASH!

‘A MAN jumps through the window - it's FREDDY KRUEGER!

“Abhhit!

Freddy raises his razor~élawed hand, then stops in mid-

_ CINDY No, it‘s Maple.

He exits.

CINDY

‘Right at Oak, left at Sycamore.

The phone RINGS again. She eyes it with ‘trepidation. |

RING. RING.

RING - She picks up.

RING. RING.

A beat.

Cindy?

; - CINDY Hello?

from...Homicidal Maniac...will you

accept the charges?

- She SMASHES the phone to pieces. A beat.

Her cellular phone RINGS. She answers.

“SCARY VOICE (from phone)

SCARY VOICE

Not until you answer some questions.

Miss one and you die.

Why are you doing. this to me?

SCARY VOICE

I'm asking the questions.

She nervously bites her fingernails, then SPITS them cut.

.. CINDY That one where the girl gets _ harassed on the phone... (she passes a “Scream" movie poster). ; ++.you know, the one with the chubby, alcoholic gsFt who was in E.T.? ,

A beat.

“SCARY VOICE - Next question.

She now nervously bites. her: toenails, SPITTING éhem out.

SCARY VOICE , ir m thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it?

She sinks to her knees in : terror, ‘trembling. CINDY - |

: (getting choked up) Uh...76? .

A long beat. ©

Behind her we see her neglected popcorn is now ON ‘FIRE, ane:

_BILLOWING smoke. -

SHRIEK! SHRIEK! The ‘smoke dakector souNDs, adding to Cindy' s confusion and. terror. oa

Tears well in her eyes, and. a giant snot _bubble GURGLES out of her nostril. She: is terrified. : ;

. SCARY VOICE Up or down?, r

‘CINDY Up?

SCARY VOICE | Sorry Cindy, you Tose. The answer ' was down. - CINDY My boyfriend's. gonna be here any second. He'll kick your ass.

_ SCARY VOICE You mean him?

The lights goon in the backyard, revealing a bloodied and

dead TEENAGE BOY, strapped to a chaira la "Scream.":

The Scary Voice CACKLES. Cindy squints at the boy through the otaeens glass GOOF

like twice. The Scary Voice stops CACKLING. oo SCARY VOICE _ Oh. The backyard Lights turn. off.

She SCREAMS and drops the > Phone in horror. ' She races to “ne back. door. .

From outside we see a SHADOWY FIGURE also running ‘to the. | back Goor.

_AT THE BACK DOOR

she gets ‘there one — ahead of the ‘shadowy figure and LOCKS the door, then CHAINS it, then puts "The Club" over the doorknob. _

7 Cindy backs away from the door in terror. The cigure

disappears. The suspense mourits...

DING DONG!) The doorbell. Cindy is frozen in fear - who is it? |

She punches 9-1-1 on her cordless, then. puts the aecesver to her ear. ;

DING DONG! oe SCARY VOICE Answer it. — CINDY No... SCARY VOICE

It could be your friends. It's been ~ ten minutes.. a

She moves to the front door “slowly, then grabs a “baseball bat out of _the hall closet.

| SCARY VOICE. Then open the door.

she raises the bat, then closes her eyes. and | flings the aoGm open. : :

with eyes still closed, she flails | away with the bat.

_ CINDY TAKE THAT YOU PSYCHO!!

BANG! THUD! CRUNCH! She connects with several swings.

She opens her eyes to find three LITTLE TRICK OR TREATERS,

now lying bloody and beaten on. the front porch.

_ CINDY Oops... a

_ She apologetically tosses the Children candy, which only

lands uselessly next to their broken arms.

The children GROAN in pain as she closes the door.

INSIDE _

Cindy locks the door. As she turns, we see the KILLER -

. right behind her. ~

‘The Killer has a black cloak and white mask on, ala. -“Scream," except his mask is Casper the Friendly Ghost.

He raises a wicked looking knife and creeps up behind her.

. KILLER Hello Cindy.

Cindy freezes in her tracks - it's the same scary voice from the phone.

She turns to see the Killer and SCREAMS!

The Killer lunges at her and stabs twice at her chest. POP! POP! Her breasts POP Like balloons, then deflate.

the Killer raises the knife again | - Cindy SHRIEKS IN.

TERROR. | . Suddenly, Cindy's 200 1b. ‘st. Bernard, _CuI0, comes

_ scampering up from behind.

Before the Killer can ‘strike, cujo jumps up and knocks him to the ground. t. . .

. CINDY Good boy, Cujo!

‘Cujo. proceeds to pin the Killer down. and vigorously HUMP

HIS LEG.

She uses the distraction to dash out the front door.

‘OUTSIDE

Cindy races down the steps, ‘stepping on the BEATEN

‘CHILDREN, who YELP in pain.

Cindy runs into the street, just as her FRIENDS pull up in a red, ‘57 Cadillac convertible.

Her friends are SKEET, JAKE, BUFFY, and QUENTIN. Cindy jumps in the passenger. side. |

Skeet puts it in gear and PEELS OUT down the road.

As they drive off, we see the Cadi’ s "personalized license plate - CHRISTINE.

The five teens drive down the highway . We now FEATURE our ensemble. cast: .

“SKEET : - - Cindy’ 's boyfriend. Good- -looking, cool, and precoding ina _ Skeet Ulrich way’ ,

JAKE - All American looks, muscular, gung-ho jock.

: SURre - The "Tt" girl. - Incredibly sexy, béautiful, and _

popular.

QUENTIN - Freckled face, spiky haired video store geek.

Buffy is in the backseat between Quentin and Jake. Skeet drives as Cindy tries to call the cops on her cellphone,

QUENTIN ; rt! s the a...it's the canyons. The satellite signals bounce off the walls which... oo.

‘He PUNCHES Quentin in arm.

Skeet puts an arm around Cindy.

Skeet takes his eye off the road as they pass a sign reading: DEER X-ING.

SMACK! THUD! Unbeknownst to the teens, the Cadi‘ HITS several DEER. oo They travel on, now with antlers stuck in the grill. _ QUENTIN: (to Cindy) . Excuse me for being the voice of reason. But uh, won't your dad be

upset to find a knife wielding _ maniac in your house?

; _ . “nL

—

They pass a sign reading: HANDICAP X-~ING.

A group of SENIOR CITIZEN'S try to ‘cross the road in their walkers and wheelchairs. The Cadi' ZOOMS up, and the Senior's SCREAM and LEAP out of the way.

Several of the Senior Citizens flip them the "finger."

The oblivious teens travel on, now with a wheelchair dragging behind them. .

you...?

‘They pass a sign reading: MEN AT WORK.

The band MEN AT WORK stand on the shoulder, PLAYING MUSIC.

-.-Z come from.a land down ender.<-

BACK IN THE CAR

- CINDY Are you saying that this had something to do with my mom's: murder? That. guy's locked up ina looney bin for life.

, BUFFY . Well, you have to admit...

want. to talk about it.

They ge around a bend.

—_ SKEET Almost there...

Suddenly, standing in the middle of the road ~ the Killer | appears. He raises his BALES, glinting in the. moonlight. —

BUFFY | Oh my. God... CINDY It's him.

Skeet SLAMS ON THE BRAKES but there's no time.

SMACK! They hit-the Killer, ‘catapulting him high into the

ON THE KILLER

‘Soaring in mid-air from the collision.

He tucks his legs under him and does an acrobatic

somersault, then a twist like a gymnast. BACK ON THE CAR The teens hold up score cards - 8.5, 9.0, 8, 10, 9.5.

‘Finally, the Killer lands with a sickly THUD.

‘BAM! The skidding car hits him again, this time dragging

him under the chassis.

‘They drive over different severe terrains - speedbumps,

road flares, then hot asphalt. KILLER

They finally come to a stop. Skeet throws it in reverse and backs up over the killer, dislodging him from the axle. .

“The teens get slowly out of the car. Terror.on all their

faces.

The car's headlights illuminate the Killer's iiaiiSss body in the middle of the road.

. ‘SKEET He came out of nowhere... -

. BUFFY Is he...dead?

The Killer squirms in pain.

IN THE CAR

. The parking brake gives, causing the car to roll forward.

‘QUENTIN Watch out!

- They scatter as the car rolls over the Killer's body - - CRUNCH!

The car rolls to a stop against the shoulder. The teens gather around the Killer's body in fear. So

Jake pokes tentatively at the body with a’ stick. No

movement °

He discards the stick and KICKS che Killer in the balls. Still no response.

oO - JAKE He's dead...

The teens look at each other in dread as this sinks in..

_ SKEET - There's alcohol all over the car...

' BUFFY We're all gonna fry.

Jake arabs the body by the legs and drags it back toward

the car, BANGING the head off bumps and. potholes.

. CINDY Are you crazy? | BUFFY Jake's right. Nobody saw anything -

no witnesses. Cindy, like this guy tried to kill you.

| SKEET You have a better idea?

A car is HEARD approaching. |

Everyone stares at Cindy.

Cindy ponders as JEOPARDY THEME Music UP. A beat.

we don't go to jail?

As. oncoming headlights appear, the. teens quickly stuff the body in the trunk. The Killers legs still hang out, so they SLAM the trunk Tepeatedly like an ‘overstuffed suitcase >

a CRUNCH!

The ‘teens hop. in and drive off just before the oncoming car reaches them. —

| _ TOs:

The teens huddle around a bonfire on this deserted stretch

of Sens)

Buffy roasts a: marshmallow on a stick over the flames.

' Next to her, Jake roasts two whole: rotisserie chickens on a Skewer:

THWACK!

LS.

| Skeet keeps an arm around Cindy, trying to comfort her.

7 SKEET |

Fire's going out. ; JAKE

I got it.

Jake gets up and grabs a piece of wood. Before he throws it on the embere.. he spots a BABY SERLe beached at the .

shoreline.

- The cute baby seal tries to ‘make it's } way back into the

surf. BABY SEAL

‘THWACK! Jake CLUBS the seal on the head with the piece of “wood. — oe

right...

THWACK!!. He gives the seal two more whacks about the cranium. , : a

- JAKE

...I consider myself a moralistic person...

'THWACK!

weal go to church...

_. (THWACK!) «-.-L even donate my time to the

Humane Society...

. BUFFY Hurry up already, I'm getting cold.

Jake finally delivers the fatal club, then drags: the: dead seal over and tosses it onto [ae fire.

Lo.

WHOOSH! The seal re-ignites the fire, and the teens all warm their hands over the flames.

Quentin Stands and paces excitedly.

“BUFFY. a Get to the point, Retardo Montalbon.

Jake munches on a roasted seal paw.

QUENTIN, This has all the makings of a classic teen horror movie. A low budget scream-fest aimed at cashing in on the youth market. Filled with all of your typical high school archetypes and a loud, ay soundtrack. . .

Skeet whips out a boombox, which blasts Nine Inch Nails.

the Joffrey b ballet.

on JAKE

Now wearing a. pink: tu-tu_and tights, as he pixouettes: on his | TAPES =

fetish.

/ ON QUENTIN

Wearing a plastic bag over his head, trying to suffocate

himself. - SKEET Then there's Buffy, the prom queen. Beautiful, seductive, her measurements are 36-24-34... ON BUFFY

Who stands in a negligee and poses for a PHOTOGRAPHER.

. SKEET (cont'd) : Shallow, utterly self-centered, her turn on's include fresh water eels, and the cold sting of an Icelandic

bidet.

Buffy rejoins the group.

; BUFFY Cindy - the girl: next door. Pretty, smart, kind, and alas, a.virgin. A screwed up head case who hasn't gotten over her mom's brutal murder, © and. the only one who will probably make it to the sequel.

ON CINDY

Who lounges in a director's chair, reading a script 7 entitled, "SCREAM IF YOU KNOW WHAT I DID LAST HALLOWEEN ,

- PART 2" co hm

; CINDY Then finally, there's my boyfriend Skeet.

(cuddles up to him) ..

. So perfect, so cute, my little. snookie-wookie, my little honey-. bunny, my little snuggle=wuggie. +

RETCH! The other teens grab. barf bags and VOMIT into them from her sugary nicknames.

- SKEET . ne _ Sun's coming up. We better do this.

—~— -

A sign reads: DAWSON'S RIVER. The five teens drag the

_body to the edge of the docks, then set it down.

They Stand over it in frightened awe, staring at the ominous black cloak and Casper, mask.

anyone what happened. They look at each other apprehensively.

BUFFY : Swear - each of you. Swear!

A tense beat.

They all turn to Cindy, who hesitates.

‘BUFFY Cindy, you have to swear.

. JAKE . Come on, Cindy - swear.

' They all nod solemnly, then start to push the body over the

Soge= QUENTIN -

Wait - don't yea want to see who it

is? CINDY

No. Leave the mask on. The face of my mother's killer haunts me every

_ day...

19.)

She whips out a framed picture of her mom’ s killer,

shudders then puts it away.

. CINDY (cont'd) | . -+eT can't take another. They nod, then push the body over - SPLASH!

UNDERWATER

We follow the body as it sinks to the bottom of the river.

It comes to rest next to a LEONARDO DICAPRIO look-alike, who's clutching a blue pendant.

SUPERIMPOSED: ONE. YEAR LATER -

Cindy sits at the breakfast table as her father MR... ChMPRELL, stands over the stove, cooking her breakfast.

He CRACKS a few e935 into a ‘frying pan as the news drones on the background T

Several suitcases and an airline ticket are by the door.

- CINDY» How long will you be gone?

‘He opens a jar of pig's feet, and dumps them into the eggs.

; MR. CAMPBELL gust a couple of nights.

He unwraps ‘butcher’ paper, revealing a cow tongue. He dumps

that in also, folding the ingredients into an omelette.

He flips up the omelette.

| Spring line.

He goes over to his briefcase and puts away the last of his . samples, which are women's cosmetics: lipstick, eyeliner, -

mascara, etc.

he

_s DANIELLE Hit it!

VROOM!: A MONSTER TRUCK drives out from the wings. and rolls over Danielle.

She gets up, unhurt, and now sporting a tire track across her face. She bows to STRONGER APPLAUSE.

a PRINCIPAL FONZY Thank you, Danielle.

a BUFFY Duh, Cindy, can't you see I'm in the middle of something really _ important?

Cindy shows her the note, and Buffy GASPS in terror.

ON STAGE

“putty strides to center stage and waiioes out a 24" polish

sausage. A DRUMROLL ‘SOUNDS as a spotlight hits her.

She. takes the sausage and slowly "deep throats” it, swallowing the entire thing. ,

She takes it Slowly out of her MORER(.

Every MALE in the audience rises and gives her a STANDING

OVATION.

ON THE JUDGES

Soe

Y

They nod to each other, impressed. |.

' Skeet looks up to see Cindy in the doorway.

drops an engine block from a pulley.

Skeet. and four other STUDENTS ‘huddle under the hood ofa

car, working» on _the engine.

The SHOP TEACHER hobbles } over, Sporting an | eye patch and a

prosthetic arm.

Skeet grabs his jacket, unknowingly yanking a lever which

CRUNCH! The engine block hits two students, KNOCKING them _ senseless. ,

As Skeet makes his way to Cindy, he unknowingly steps on a

tire jack, depressing it.

BOOM! The car flattens the student lying underneath it. His protruding legs convulse in pain. _ FLATTENED . STUDENT. Skeet passes the Shop Seachér, who stares into the eye of a. ower drill, trying to fix. it. ;

As Skeet continues, he spots the unplugged drill cord.

, SKEET _ Someone could trip over this...

. He plugs. it into the wall.

-WHIRRR! Behind him we see the Shop. Teacher drill into his own eye, which spurts blood. :

se

“SHOP TEACHER Ahhh - my good eye!!!

Skeet’ reaches Cindy.

' CINDY Skeet, I...

SKEET

ci EnOws 2 - (takes a note from his

‘pocket ) --.I got one too.

CUT TO:.

Quentin is in the "Porno Section," holding up a tape and giving his review of the latest release.

We PAN DOWN to reveal he's talking, to two LITTLE OLD LADIES. |

LITTLE OLD LADY .

_I felt it paled in comparison to the first three. But I did like © "Forrest Pump.” The cock-sandwich scene was particularly arousing, and that Jenny really knows how to fuck.

He looks up to see Cindy enter. She gives him a grave - look. -. Ba

Cindy, Skeet, Buffy, Jake, and Quentin huddle together: in the bleachers. Behind them we see the SWIM TEAM,

practicing their dives.

‘BUFFY {to Quentin) It's probably you... (makes jack-off motion) ---Mr. Busyfist. I knew you couldn't keep your big mouth shut.

Yeah, douchebag.

He PUNCHES Quentin in the arm.

_ In the background, we see two MALE DIVERS walk by wearing ;

thong bikini's.

Everyone GASPS in horror.

night?

‘SKEET What are wea trying to say?

In the pool, we see a SWIMMER emit a cloud of purple dye from his suit - he urinated in the water.

- QUENTIN | It could be anyone. It could be YOu... ,

(points to Buffy) ‘«.-could be me, could be her, could

be him...it could be that fat guy over there on the trampoline...

We PAN to the corner, where we see a FAT GUY wearing. boxers, BOUNCING ona creme 2ne. The Fat Guy waives as he

. bounces.

SLAP! Jake bitch slaps Quentin across the face, leaving 2 a red handprint on his cheek.

Jake walks off.

| BUFFY a What're we supposed to do now?

CINDY | We wait...

‘INT ~ CINDY'S BEDROOM - MIDNIGHT

Cindy tosses and turns in her sleep, in. “che midst of an obvious bad dream.

‘Suddenly, TWO HANDS grab her - startling her awake:

She SCREAMS in horror. She sits up and turns on her

nightstand light, revealing it's her father.

_ . MR. CAMPBELL:

It's o.k., honey, you were having another one of your Rag PERAUGs!s But r' m here now.

blush. ©

He takes out his Avon makeup kit and brushes rouge onto her cheeks.” ;

He continues making her over, putting false eyelashes on: her.

She wants to talk, but holds back.

He now rolls her hair in curlers with fatherly tenderness.

She shakes her head “no," then puts her. head on the pillow to hear his bedtime story.

‘He applies a mudmask over her face. |

a MR. CAMPBELL There we were at the abortion Clinic. The physician's assistant -yvacuumed and scraped you out of your. . mother, then tossed you in the garbage with the other fetuses... _ (plucks her eyebrows) _««-But the doctor noticed that your » heart was still beating, so we got shafted on that whole “3rd . Trimester" thing. Then we. took you ‘home and named you Cindy - after your grandmother, Diane. =

She closes her eyes and smiles peacefully as he waxes her mustache. —

We now see she is heavily made up, looking like Tammy Faye Baker.

Jake pumps iron in the deserted weight room.

He turns his walkman up, and we HEAR Hanson's "Mmm - Bop". over his neaaphonss.. ‘He bobs ns head, to the music.

AL THE LOCKERS

A SHADOWY FIGURE enters, and opens Jake's locker.

CLOSE ON the *igure' s black gloved hand,. which switches Jake's steroid vial with a vial labeled: ESTROGEN.

The Shadowy figure exits. A moment later, Jake enters.

Jake takes a needle, fills it from the switched vial, then plunges it into his arn.

‘BACK IN THE GYM

Jake resumes his workout, curling dumbbells.

suddenly, his chest swells.

' JAKE What the...?

His chest continues to swell, he's developing tits. He rushes to the Mirror, whips off his shirt and GASPS. Jake now has. a pair of 38DD [WOMEN ' Ss BREASTS! |

«

CUT TO:-

Quentin lets out the last CUSTOMER, then locks the door and | hangs the CLOSED sign. He turns off the lights, and wai” to the back room.

IN THE BACK ROOM

Quentin enters and CLAPS ON the lights, which transforms the room into a porno haven:

A disco ball and” red light. illuminate the room as a heart shaped Murphy bed folds down from the wall.

The song, “I Touch Myself," by The Divinyls UP.

The shelves flip over, revealing zebra and leopard skin walls.

'Tacked on the doors are nudie centerfold pictures of . Quentin's favorites - CAPTAIN PICKARD, BILL GATES, and.

MARTHA STEWART. ©

Quentin grabs a video and sticks it in the VCR. the cover of the video reads: “Shaving Ryan's Privates."

We HEAR the sound of people MOANING, and jazzy porno music from the TVs

Quentin pulls his pants down and starts jacking-off to the _ porno and centerfolds.

| QUENTIN Oh yeah, take that Martha Stewart...

He uses a nis pump, then a dustbuster, then. grabs a GERBIL and smiles lustfully.

_. GERBIL (frightened) Squeek - squeek...!

He reaches for: a nearby jar of vaseline, scoops a big dollup of goo, and spreads it on his dick.

SHLURP - | SHLURP - SHLURP! He Jacks=Oct with the Vaseline.

A frown slowly creeps across his face. He looks down | at his crotch in pain...

QUENTIN — Ow! !

He grabs the jar of Vaseline and examines it to find it's: actually a jar of Ben Gay Deep Heating Rub. Somebody . scratched off the label to sabotage him.

As smoke. emanates from his crotch, he hops around the ECORI: fanning | himself in pain.

Buffy sits at her vanity table, Sreshing her hair in the. mirror. . BUFFY : | an

(counting brush sbeokes)

Ten-thousand one, ten-thousand two... .

anything to happen to it...

(she looks into camera) -.-especially in the next scene. - She gets into bed and turns off the light. . | | | TIME LAPSE: ‘NEXT MORNING | | Buffy YAWNS and stretches awake, then Goes. to the mirror. |

. Her POV: Her hair has been cut and styled into a “Friends" | _ Style shag.

She SCREAMS in terror.

- dolphin’ s head.

_BUFFY (horrified) Noooo!!!! Not the Jennifer Aniston

shag - that's so out... She. looks down to see that she's wearing acid wash jeans. -

She tries desperately to unzip the Jeans, but the zippers been rusted shut.

She sinks to her knees SOBBING over her outdated look.

‘Cindy wakes slowly. She looks down in shock to see blood

on her silk pajamas. She holds her hands up - there's blood on them also. .

She pulls back the covers slowly - blood everywhere.

Terrified, She sits up and flings the covers aside. The severed head of her dog Cujo lies next to her in bed.

CINDY _ (horrified) | Cujo!

She pulls the covers back further, revealing a severed

She pulls the covers back further, revealing a severed pig's head. ; “CINDY - Babell!

Her SCREAMS echo through the neighborhood.

. CUT TO:

_ A banner reads: ANNUAL, HALLOWEEN PARTY “23 DAYS AWAY! .

PANNING down the rows of STUDENTS, we see one dissecting a frog, another’ dissecting a Cat, and another dissecting a

human cadaver.

We FEATURE cindy, ‘Skeet, Jake, Buffy, and Quentin among the students.

The BELL RINGS.

The Teacher and Students exit, leaving our cast of teens behind in the empty classroom.

All are suffering from the effects of last night's terror - Jake has cleavage, Buffy has a bad hair-do, and Quentin has ©

an ice pack shoved in his pants.

CINDY: Now do you all believe me?

- QUENTIN Someone definitely knows.

They all look’ at him suspiciously.

‘SKEET . What're you trying to say? _

_ BUFFY ‘(including sign language) te has to be you, Skeet!

Jake grabs him by the throat and CHOKES him. SKEET |

(gasping) Cindy. «.tell them it. wasn' t me...

Cindy ‘only. ‘stares at him.

Her POV: He has red horns, a pitchfork, and a pointed goatee like Satan. .

. CINDY ; “Where were you last night, Skeet?

Jake Final ty Aneps hime and he’ GASPS for air. SKEET I told you. I was uh...helping my Sister with her homework.

QUENTIN Good enough for me. BUFFY I buy it. JAKE

It's air tight.

Cindy hugs Skeet.

"He couldn't have.

(pulls out a video tape) * Check this. out...

—, /

‘Quentin goes to the nearby T.V. stand and sticks the video

in the VCR.

ON THE T.Vv.

A "Jarry Springer" style talk show, except with Courtney

. Cocks as the host.

gs

The show's theme music plays The Rembrandts, "I ll Be There For You," from the. T.V. show “Friends. “

Cotton Blend sits on stage in front of a live AUDIENCE.

. COURTNEY {into microphone) _ If you're just joining us, today's ’ guest is convicted killer Cotton Blend.

The audience APPLAUDS.

- COURTNEY . Cotton, do you have anything to. say to the survivors of your victim? ~

BACK ON THE T. ve

——

aN,

-_——

i

-ww

He wipes his tears, exposing his forearms which are tattooed With "KKK" and “Aryan Race."

ON COURTNEY ‘Cocks Also dabbing a tear from her eye:

COURTNEY > That is extremely touching...

She recovers, then looks cheerily into the camera. . COURTNEY

Now to boost our. ratings - some gratuitous violence!

. Behind her we see the audience ERUES into an aldo, chair

throwing BRAWL.

KICK! PUNCH! SMASH! It's utter chaos as everyone PUMMELS each other.

-ON CINDY

She turns the T.V. off in disgust.

this to us?. They ponder a beat.

- QUENTIN Maybe it has something to do with the guy we ran over in the first scene of the movie.

| JAKE Maybe someone Saw US...

- SKEET ‘There was that other Car...

His name was Tom Tingle. - -

She pulls a newspaper Clipping out of her pocket.

es

es

He FLINGS the omelette through the air at her, like a fish

“monger throws a fish.

She CATCHES it in mid air, then puts it on her plate.

They look at each other, and tears well in their eyes. He ~ goes and hugs her. os

here.

We PAN to the corner, where Mrs. Campbell ' s_ skeleton hangs on an anatomical stand.

Her skeleton wears an apron labeled, "Supermom"

MR. CAMPBELL | (grabbing luggage) Sure. you" re going. to me o.k.?

possibly happen?

. He gives her a peck on the cheek, then exits.

cindy turns her attention to the T.V.

ON THE T. Vv.

A Courtney Cox type tabloid reporter, ‘named. COURTNEY cocks,

dees a remote bEgadcase in front of a mental hospital.

a

-_-—~ ee

eee

, . ‘CINDY Oh, my. lord...

We PAN to the: couch, where JESUS CHRIST sits smoking a cigarette.

| JESUS CHRIST Yeah? ; BACK ON THE T.v.

As Courtney reports, we see TED KACZYNSKI and HANNIBAL LECTER walk past her..

Courtney éagerly approaches them for a statement.

7 . COURTNEY . Unibomber and Hannibal the Cannibal ~ you've just been released from the insane asylum, what’re you going to do next?

LECTER & KACZYNSKI We're going to Disneyland!

‘Cindy watches the T.V. in horror as her mother’ s balLeie ‘COTTON BLEND, is also. let free. :

Cotton puts. his hand over ‘the camera, partially blocking

his face.

Cindy GASPS, then whips out the f amed picture she | keeps of - cotton. . . 7

-—

BACK ON T.V.

Courtney rushes to Cotton, and we finally get a glimpse of” him - late 30's, stubble faced eaethegs

He gets in his car, still with his jacket over his head, and drives off.

O.S. we hear SWERVE! CRASH! CRUNCH! . CUT TO: ©

Cindy parks her car in STUDENT PARKING, then exits. As she strides through the parking lot, she passes PACULTY PARKING, then finally, TABLOID REPORTER PARKING.

A swarm of REPORTERS and CAMERAMEN get out of news vans. Among them is GERALDO RIVERA, © ‘JERRY SPRINGER,. and

STUTTERING. JOHN.

They spot Cindy and converge on her, shoving microphones and cameras in her face.

REPORTER #1

Cindy ~- can you gave us a statement?! REPORTER #2

How's it feel knowing your mom's killer is on the loose?

REPORTER #2 Talk to us Cindy! CINDY No comment... 7 They continue to swarm her with questions. “She squints from the POPPING FLASHBULBS.

She tries to walk past them, but they block her way.

. CINDY I said no comment...

_ SMACK! Cindy karate chops | a Reporter to the ground. POW! “She does a spinning back kick to another.

She whips out a pair of nunchucks with a "Waah!" and proceeds to WHACK! Reporters with then.

She does a backflip, then delivers a scissor kick to a Photographer's neck - CRUNCH! She steps over the heap of beaten and GROANING Reporters and Cameramen. a

As she walks the front steps to school, tabloid reporter COURTNEY COCKS and her CAMERAMAN step into her path.

Cindy instantly recognizes: Courtney and smolders with

hatred. COURTNEY

Cindy, how about giving me a

statement?

She puts the microphone in Cindy’ s face. A small crowd of STUDENTS gather around, including Skeet, who stands protectively next to Cindy.

- CINDY Why should I talk to you?

' COURTNEY ©

Look, just because I sold a made- for-f. V. movie, two best sellers, and an infomercial about your mom's murder - it doesn't make me.a villain. ; eee it does.

_ COURTNEY ‘Do 'ya think?

- He nods "yes". Courtney looks at the crowd of students,

who also nod. “yes. " ; CINDY

(seething)

I found the Broadway play | particularly offensive.

ene !

Ye:

SKEET © Yeah, it was overbearing and shoddily choreographed at best.

A beat.

She rears back and ‘PUNCHES Courtney in the. face. She then “wrenches the camera away from the Cameraman.

-CINDY | I il give you a story..

SMACK! CRUNCH! She BASHES Courtney about the head, breaking the camera and knocking Courtney out.

"SHERIFF DUTY -A Roseanna, Patricia, I mean David Arquette type, breaks up the fight. ©

Skeet all an arm around Cindy to calm her.

_SHERIFF DUTY I'm very disappointed. @ENpy

Sorry, Sheriff Duty.

- SHERIFF DUTY omny. don"t you. kids get to class?

Cindy and the rest of the Students disperse to school.

Behind sheriff Duty, Courtney rises to her wobbly feet,

‘looking ¢ Gaze.

| SHERIFF DUTY (calling after the kids) Violence never solves anything...

He gestures: with his ; police t baton to enphasize his point.

25 «

WHACK! He unknowingly smacks Courtney over the kneecaps.

She doubles OvEEy MOANING in paittie

SHERIFF DUTY

- «eewithout using our fists...

WHACK! He unknowingly smacks hee in the face, knocking her

out again °

STUDENTS crowd the hallway, talking and _ sangnan with each other.

A banner on the wall reads: ANNUAL HALLOWEEN PARTY - -

' ONE WEEK AWAY!

Another banner reads: . HEROIN SAFETY ASSEMBLY ~- HOW TO HIDE YOUR TRACKS. © , . Skeet walks Cindy to class.

The bell RINGS.

PRINCIPAL FONZY comes down the hall, speaking into a megaphone. . PRINCIPAL FONZY (amplified) '. EVERYONE BACK TO CLASS. COME ON PEOPLE - NOW!

Skeet gives Cindy a quxck kiss.

“He exits. Cindy ducks into the women's restroom. ~

al

IN THE BATHROOM ~

‘Cindy stands at the mirror, and takes a hard look at

herselt«

“Two CHEERLEADERS, each sitting on the toilet in adjacent

Seatis: are unaware of canay® Ss presence. CHEERLEADER #1

Did you check out that Cindy Campbell. chick this morning? She so

creepy... Cindy OVERHEARS them, becoming visibly upset.

CHEERLEADER #2 I know. - FART! 1 FART!! The Cheerleaders let a few rip. CHEERLEADER #1 Everytime I pass her in the hall, she fully weirds me out. SHIT! PLOP! SPLASH! The Cheerleaders move their bowels.

CHEERLEADER #2 "Everyone thinks she's a loon.

SPRAY! SPLATERRRR!! One of the Cheerleaders HAS THE RUNS.

; CHEERLEADER #1 She's probably mental.

Tears well in Cindy' Ss eyes from their harsh words, and

aoa She rushes out of the bathroom.

IN THE HALLWAY

. Principal Fonzy spots the tearful cindy exiting the

bathroom.

~~ Seow

mee we eee

—Ss ee om oe

PRINCIPAL FONZY | THAT'S O.K., CINDY, I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S TROUBLING YOU.

‘Cindy looks. around to see a few Student's now peeking their ~

heads out of classroom doors to gawk at. her.

BODY: a

Cindy slinks off down. the hall, as Principal Fonzy wheels

around on the gawking students.

Ls PRINCIPAL FONZY | ‘EVERYONE BACK TO CLASS - CINDY'S PERIOD DOESN'T CONCERN YOU...

Cindy, wearing a nightgown, sits on. . her bed studying.

No response. He picks up a pebble and =nEOWs it at her window..: - —_ .

TINK! The pebble bounces off the window, but there’ s still no response.

He picks up a rock and throws it at the window - THUD! Still no response. —

Finally, he wheels over a meaieval catapult, with a boulder loaded on it. He cuts the catapult. release cord.

WHOOSH! The boulder hurtles through the air.

SMASH! The boulder CRASHES through the entire window frame. : . a

IN CINDY'S BEDROOM

She is oblivious to the boulder watch has CRASHED into her room. .

- A moment later, Skeet climbs through the window.

' SKEET & CINDY ' (in unison) - AMMmMM. . 2. ;

SKEET

Hey, what happened? why didn‘t you | “meet me at the quad? _ =

She looks away.

~~ oe

He kisses her gently.

- | CINDY OO ‘Do you think I'm psycho?

He crosses his fingers behind his back.

_ SKEET No, of course not. (he rubs her shoulders) You've got to relax. You trust me,

don't yous

- CINDY (T do...T...

He sweeps her in and they kiss passionately. A beat.

He slowly lifts the shoulder strap of her nightgown, and runs his fingers sensuously through her ‘Back hair. a

‘He whispers softly in her ear.

SKEET ; Your hair’ s so soft and silky smooth. What do you use?

He lays her down on the bed as they continue kissing. .He raises her nightgown and looks down.

. SKEET . That's some camel toe. . _ CINDY

He reaches past her to the nightstand and t holds up. an - actual severed, stuffed Games. s foot. .

He replaces the foot, then strips down to his boxers. . They continue making out, and he raises her na.ghegown tuSthSe to

reveal her panties.

‘CLOSE ON CINDY'S PANTIES

-

Instead of elastic, tiny barbed wire runs along the

perimeter. ‘There's also a ZAPPING electrified fence and a Sign reading: NO TRESPASSING.

SKEET : I don‘t. know if I can take this anymore. I mean, we've been going out since we were freshman.

Frustrated, he gets out of bed, wearing only his boxers. . He grabs. a marker and gees to the Mirror.

Like Matt Damon in "Good Will Hunting," he solves complex math equations on the mirror...

Skeet erases the equation, then draws. a picture of an eye. They now play "Pictionary." He draws furiously as she

| tries to decipher his message.

. CINDY © What is that, an eye? Oh, “I".. ‘(he draws a magic wand) -.-wand. I. want... (he draws a 2) -.-Ll want to.... . (he draws a brake pedal) ' ..eL want to break... (he draws an up arrow) -..I - want - to - break - up.

His pictionary message sets in.

‘He doesn't answer. A beat.

‘she ‘takes his finger and puts it inte her mouth, SUCKING . slowly on it.

~

-_——- ~~ &

He takes his finger out of her mouth - it's now three times it's ‘normal size and THROBBING.

| CUT TO:

A banner reads: ANNUAL HALLOWEEN PARTY - 4 DAYS AWAY!

Cindy walks down the crowded hallway to her locker. She opens it to reveal her locker is decorated with beefcake

teen heart~throb photos - LEONARDO DICAPRTO, BRAD PITT, AND |

BILL CLINTON.

She find a note inside. .

The note reads: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST HALLOWEEN. She GASPS, completely freaked.

. - CINDY ; I have to tell the others...

cur TO:

The FOOTBALL TEAM is gearing up for practice. As they strip down, we FOCUS on several naked butts.

First a muscular butt, then a sun-tanned bikini line butt,

then a ultra fat butt with crack hair and pimples.

ON JAKE'S LOCKER

He opens it: to reveal it looks like a medicine chest - bottles of every known prescription.

He looks around to make sure no one's. ‘watching, then grabs

a syringe and fills it from a vial. labeled Steroids. =

He plunges the needle into his arm, and immediately his biceps. swells. to: twice their size. tO,

He then grabs Rogaine, and rubs it into his scalp. . Finally, he grabs a bottle of Massenqail Disposable douche, and. holds it i . oe _— JAKE “(into camera) For the days when I'm just not feeling my freshest.

He lowers the douche between his legs as we... a CUT TO:

As the PLAYERS come out of the locker ‘tor practice, Cindy looks for Jake.

He comes out, all suited up.

| CINDY

Jake... | .

; JAKE . . What do you want? I got practice.

She shows him the note.

JAKE o (examining note) Hmmm...8 1/2 x. li. . «college ruled...three hole punch... (looks up gravely) This is horrifying.

’ CINDY — ' Now need, it.

As he turns the note over and reads, his face goes white

with terror. pa es es CURSOR. >.

A banner reads: HOMECOMING QUEEN PAGEANT. he seats

"are. filled with STUDENTS.

ON STAGE.

A dozen TEENAGE GIRLS, including Buffy, stand in front of

Raid audience. .

Principal Fonzy addresses the crowd from the “podium.”

: PRINCIPAL FONZY- (into microphone) ‘And that concludes the bathing suit part of our. “Competition. -

We FEATURE Cindy in the crowd, anxiously waiting. tO talk to. Bufty.

ON THE JUDGES TABLE

The judges are JUDGE JUDY, JUDGE WAPNER, and JUDGE REINHOLD. They hand a card to Principal Fonzy.

Buffy, Heather, and Danielle hug each other excitedly as the other Contestants exit the stage to APPLAUSE. |

, PRINCIPAL FONZY Now for the talent part of our competition. .

Buffy, Heather, and Danielle exit to change. .

; PRINCIPAL FONZY First up is Heather, pants will juggle for us.

Heather strides out onstage, carrying juggling balls. She. juggles the ‘balls, ; as a STAGEHAND stands by.

The Stagehand tosses her an apple, which she incorporates

into her: ‘jaggling, BITING the apple as. she juggles.

He then tosses her a chainsaw, a, blow torch, and ‘finally, a _ poodle. . : .

POODLE © _Ruff!.

She incorporates all of them into her juggling.

She finishes to POLITE APPLAUSE.

Danielle strides onstage, dragging a . bed of nails with her. . She ites down on the bed of nails.

she whips out another newspaper clipping - this one with a color photo of a giant octopus and two leqs sticking out of it.

They're all freaked.

_ BUFFY » Shit...I knew we should've gone to _the cops.

, JAKE. , Yeah...you warited. to cover it _ up more than anyone.

a BUFFY Me?!

They all start to ARGUE violently, pushing and shoving each

other. Finally. Cindy cuts through. | CINDY 5 I think I know who it is. They all ‘stop. in mid-fight, posing in » strangle, ‘Punching, and kneeing Roses -

; a CINDY

The paper said his only Living relative was his twin brother, Tim Tingle. I-did some checking, he works at the Marquee movie theater _downtown. I think we should go there, check it out - see what he knows « Who's with me?

they all look down at their feet, WRISTLING, obviously not

wanting to go.

She looks disappointedly at Skeet.

’ CINDY Thanks, Quentin.

The marquee reads: HORROR “MOVIE FESTIVAL!

Dozens of TEENAGERS , wearing horror costumes, wait in line.

INSIDE

Pandy and Quentin stand in the lobby, looking around.

‘teeth...

We PAN to see she's looking at a picture over a plaque which reads: "Tim Tingle - Employee of the Month."

CINDY .

Let's separate. QUENTIN Good idea - there's safety in

numbers... we

They separate. Cindy approaches an USHER.

— CINDY Hi, do you. know if Tim is working ‘tonight? I'm his girlfriend and rT have something to tell him... . (whispers conspiratorially) --.gonorrhea.

The Usher takes a step back.

‘USHER > Upstairs. -.in the projection room.

- She walks up” the staircase. UPSTAIRS A long, dark hallway leads to the projection room.

- Cindy, nerves on edge, walks slowly down the hall. Her ‘footsteps CREAK on the floorboards. -

HEOW! A CAT jumps out and startles her - "Ah!"

- CINDY (sighs in relief) It's just a kitten...

‘She walks on slowly, completely spooked out.

HOOT! HOOT! An OWL flies by, startling her. She takes a few more tentative steps.

SQUEEK! “SQUEEK! SQUEEK! A nest of BATS fly around. her head, startling her. .

CINDY

Ah! .

She rushes down the hall and enters the projection room. IN THE MOVIE THEATER

Quentin scans the rows of costumed audience members in the dark theater.

He becomes distracted by the movie on screen, "Friday the

all

- ‘QUENTIN Friday the 13th, my favorite...

He takes a seat and watches -the movie.

BACK IN THE PROJECTION ROOM

Cindy enters to find it's deserted. She OOK around for

' clues.

She looks at the books on the shelf - Killing on $2 a bay:

and ‘Blowing Up the Bridges of Madison County.

— a’

———— =

- wre wore eee

We PAN to. the corner, where JESUS CHRIST sits smoking a cagaretse=:

Cindy snoops around, opening file Seema ee rifling through drawers, pulling ¢ down shelves.

Suddenly, she turns to see a Xerox machine in the middle of

the room.

The Xerox machine is on, spitting out copies which all read: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST HALLOWEEN.

Cindy grabs a flier, reads it, then drops it in horror. She looks at a nearby table and GASPS. ;

On the table are every piece of concession merchandise.

available - T-shirts, baseball caps, coffee mugs, and | balloons - all with the same label: I KNOW WHAT you DID LAST HALLOWEEN. ~

; CINDY — I have. to warn Quentin...

She rushes ‘out.

. Wearing his trademark hockey Mask ,. about to stab a victim.

Quentin nudges! ‘the. guy sitting next. to him.

The guy next to. Quentin doesn' t respond.

Quentin turns ‘to see it's actually the KILLER, wearing the CASPER MASK, sitting next to him..

_ QUENTIN. | AAHHH!!!

As Quentin SCREAMS in terror, so does the audience,

reacting to the movie.

——)

- =—~we ww.

——

euwrwvui w-

As JASON stabs an on-screen victim, the Killer STABS Quentin. ;

Quentin runs bleeding down the aisle, the Killer in hot. pursuit. ;

Quentin mounts the stairs and stands in front of the movie — Screen: pleading to the audience. | ——- QUENTIN —

The Killer appears onstage, brandishing the knife. The audience CHEERS them on, believing them to be pretending

the parts that are on-screen.

Quentin backs away, terrified. He runs offstage, into the adjacent theater, with the Killer in tow.

IN THE ADJACENT THEATER

Quentin and the Killer rush onstage, in front of the movie

screen, which plays "Pulp Fiction."

On screen we see the famous scene where VING RHAMES gets butt-fucked by ZEKE. .

He looks back at the Killer, who" s UNBUTTONING HIS PANTS...

IN ANOTHER THEATER

Quentin hobbles out onstage, rubbing his now sore butt.

He and the killer are now in front of a screen which plays "Titanic" - Leonardo's death scene.

Quentin and the Killer can' ‘t help Chonselves, they both Start WEEPING along with the audience.

-Quentin hands the Killer a hankie, as they give each other a consoling hug. ,

The. Killer blows his nose and dries his eyes, and the pursuit continues . ,

‘IN ANOTHER THEATER

Quentin runs in front of the movie screen, which plays "Braveheart. :

He looks up at the screen in dread as Mel Gibson is about

to be disemboweled.

The Killer appears onstage, brandishing his own meat hook. AT THE BACK OF THE THEATER

Cindy rushes in and sees Quentin and the Killer onstage. |

She's the only one who realizes it's not an act.

She races to the front of the theater.

BACK ONSTAGE

Coinciding with the action on-screen, the Killer pulls out Quentin's intestines, like a [ mage dan pulling an endless rope out of a hat.

. CINDY | Quentin! —

Quentin collapses in a bloody heap as the Killer stands over him. .

MOVIEGOER #1. -Whoa, they're really into it.

_- MOVIEGOER #2 Yeah, but the blood looks fake. The Killer looks up to see Cindy rushing onstage.

. CINDY . (to Killer) - ' Oh my god - he killed Quentin! You bastard! .

The Killer flees offstage, and Cindy chases after him. BEHIND THE SCREEN | | |

Cindy rushes offstage to find TIM TINGLE, Standing there with a knife in one hand, and a Casper mask in the (Other.

. CINDY Tim Tingle!

Tim quickly drops the knife and mask and escapes out the emergence exit.

- TIME LAPSE: » OUTSIDE THE MOVIE THEATER |

The place is now a full crime scene - yellow police tape, flashing lights from the squad cars and ambulances. Sheriff Duty directs the POLICE to dust for fingerprints,

and SNAP crime scene photos.

A news van pulls up with Courtney Cocks and her Cameraman. Courtney surveys the scene. .

They grab their gear and exit the van.

ON A SQUAD CAR

Cindy sits in the back, “wrapped ina blanket. She shivers, ©

obviously in deep shock.

‘SheEsee ‘Duty stands by.

. SHERIFF DUTY _ Don't worry, we'll find him. I've got all my men on it. (beat) What were you kids doing here

anyway? | CINDY We came eee

She looks | at him, waneing to tell him everything, but knowing she can't. |

55.0

He stares at her skeptically. A beat.

. SHERIFF ory Right.

The PARAMEDICS carry Quentin out on. a stretcher, zipped up in a body bag. ee ;

Courtney Cocks swoops in to film the proceedings. .

Behind him we see the Paramedics Eeyang to load Quentin in the back of the ambulance. .

BAM! They miss the door, BASHING him against the fender.

Another COP hands Sheriff Duty a foamy cup of coffee, which he drinks. .

Sheriff? He lowers the cup of coffee, revealing a milk mustache.

A swarm of MEDIA has. converged on the school. Dozens of REPORTERS broadcast into camera's. Among them we FEATURE .

Courtney Cocks. —

This is Courtney Cocks live from.

Kevin Williamson High. Until his

young life was cut short, Quentin ~ - Green was a student here. He was ' murdered last night by a man wearing ° this mask...

7. She holds up a Casper mask.

; . She grabs a passing STUDENT and interviews him.

; COURTNEY Are you worried that you could be. the next victim?

, STUDENT ; ‘Not really. Police said chey have | _ the place pretty well protected and

uh...

vo . COURTNEY | : . a . And you bought that crap? He could a be anywhere, he could be Stalking.

. you right now!

_The Student looks around, paranoid and geared s

i | | a STUDENT - You know, you're right.

He drops his books and runs off SCREAMING. COURTNEY

(turns to camera) As. you can see, fear is rampant...

: oe Skeet and Cindy pull into the parking lot in Skeet ' S Car, oh — "= . ane the crush of media spots them. ;

, we & - they rush’ over to the car with cries of “There she. is!” Courtney grabs her Cameraman.

r : re COURTNEY ' - . Let's go.

| _-—sSXIN THE CAR |

_ Skeet and Cindy watch as the media CLAMOR around the car, - BANGING on. the windows with eries of “Cindy! - Cindy!"

- CINDY Why can't they just leave me alone?

_

| SKEET Hang on.

SCREECH! ‘Skeet ziears it, and drives away from the media.

He looks in the rearview mirror, and spots Courtney Cocks, running behind the.car with her microphone.

As if she were the Cyborg Cop in "Terminator 2," Courtney

. runs with superhuman speed and catches up to the car.

She reaches out and STABS the trunk with her microphone,. gaining a handhold, then uses it to pull herself onto the

Speeding car.

She climbs over the roof and lays down on the hood, now staring through the windshield at Skeet and Cindy.

‘SKEET - Get off my car!

He makes SHARP TURNS, trying to get her off. She sticks her microphone in Cindy's window. -.

Skeet. drives through the Driver's Ed obstacle course, trying frantically to shake her. . He SCREECHES around the orange cones, but still she hangs on.

- COURTNEY ‘Come on, Cindy!

“Cindy finally leans over and presses the wiper fluid button. .

° Wiper’ fluid shoots up into Courtney's face.

She goes FLYING off the /hood: and Lands with a THUD!

Skeet and Cindy drive to the back entrance of school - no

. Sign of reporters.

As. ‘they exit the car, ‘Jake and Batty approach.

INSIDE THE ‘HIGH SCHOOL oe —

38 ..

A banner reads: ANNUAL HALLOWEEN PARTY - 2 DAYS AWAY! The four eeans: huddle under a Stairwell, out of ear shot.

7 CINDY ; I can't lie anymore. I'm gonna tell Sheriff Duty everything.

' JAKE _ You talk and I'll kill you myself.

“Skeet grabs Jake, who shrugs him off...

JAKE | : And that goes for all of you. I'll take my chances with that psycho. If he wants a piece of me, he can bring it on. But I ‘aint going to. jail. ;

He stares them all down, meaningfully.

They nod in silent intimidation.

| The ‘BELL BENGE and everyone goes their separate ways.

Cindy sits at her desk, looking pale and ‘skittish - ‘the terror: and BressuEe are getting to her.

Her ENGLISH TEACHER is in mid-lecture.

co - ENGLISH TEACHER Your choices for book reports include, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Killing Fields, A Time to Kill, Death of a ‘Sateemani .

ow

Cindy covers her ears - the room is spanntn7 She gets up

and Tushes out of the classroon.

IN THE HALLWAY

‘Cindy leans against. a wall, hyperventilating. She catches

her breath and walks down the hall.

She turns a corner and... |

BOO! Not one but two CASPER KILLERS jump out at her. Cindy SCREAMS in terror.

The two take their masks off to reveal they are STUDENTS,

playing a practical. Joke. They LAUGH at her.

. CINDY — Real funny, assholes. You didn't scare me. 3

We PAN down to reveal she is standing ina puddle of her own urine.

PRINCIPAL FONZY | Hey - you twot

principal Fonzy comes up and grabs the masks out of the two pranksters hands.

PRANKSTER #1

The other prankster nods.

- PRINCIPAL FONZY Both of you are expelled - get out of here.

_ The two pranksters jump ‘up and give each other neigh Eaves ~

PRANKSTER #1 Allright - no school!

iS erin SSS seas ma

PRANKSTER #2 Yeah, let's go get drunk and do some _ vandalism...

‘They walk. off happily.

PRINCIPAL, FONZY ‘Cindy, I want to see you in my office.

CUT TO: |

Principal Fonzy and Cindy enter.

He leads her toa black leather therapists couch. She reclines as he pulls up a chair behind her and takes out a .

notepad.

. CINDY Well...I've had trouble sleeping at

night. I keep having the same nightmare...

In.a parody of the Marilyn Manson video, “Sweet Dreams," we

“see Cindy, dressed as Marilyn, and Singing: .

_ CINDY (sings) , - Sweet dreams are made of these...who am I to disagree...

She wears Gothic makeup, jet black hair, and multi-colored

contact Lenses. She rides a PIG with a sadeiei.

. CINDY (V.0.) . And just as I‘m singing and riding - that pig...there comes Mom. —

wee... ° DESSOLVE TO: .

FADE TO WHITE: —

IN A DREAMLIKE SETTING

We see. different vignettes of Cindy and her mom, JOAN

CAMPBELL - mid 30's, pretty, motherly.

ON A PLAYGROUND

Joan pushes Cindy on a swing. They smile to each other as: Joan pushes her higher, and higher.

Joan pushes her too high, FLINGING her off the swing and

into oncoming traffic. 0O.S. we hear CRASH! as we fade COs .

IN THE KITCHEN

Joan and Cindy bake together - pot brownies. We fade to...

-IN A ROCKING CHAIR

Joan. cradles Cindy, who breastfeeds - at age 16. The dream: turns into a nightmare as we fade to... . ae

THE KILLER

“Standing over JOAN'S BLOODY CORPSE. Cindy SCREAMS, but no

sound comes out of her. mouth. Just as she tries to unmask the Killer, her dead mother speaks:

oe DEAD JOAN Cindy, don't take off the mask...don't take off the mask...

DISSOLVE OUT:

ON-CINDY

As she comes out of her dream.

- CINDY | (cont'd). «..don't take off the mask. . .don' t

take off the mask...

Behind her, Principal Fonzy is asleep - SNORING AWAY.

Suddenly, Sherift Duty appears in the doorway.

As they walk off, Principal Fonzy opens his eyes - he was pretend sleeping. He puts on the confiscated Casper mask and peers after them.

Sheriff Duty ‘leads Cindy into a lineup room.

IN THE LINEUP ROOM

They stand behind a one-way mirror, looking through the glass at a SUSPECT. LINEUP.

Tim Tingle stands in the center, between five suspects - A

‘FAT GUY, BLACK GUY, RED HEADED GUY, EPFEMINATE GUY, anda

TALL GUY.

Sheriff Duty presses the intercom to talk to the suspects.

The suspects do. Cindy studies them.

The suspects turn in unison.

The suspects turn in unison. A nearby CoP turns up the

volume on his transistor radio.

From the radio we HEAR Joe Cocker’ 's "You Can Leave Your Hat On. it} . ;

The suspects begin to do a strip-tease, ala “The Full

Monty.”

As they dance and strip to the music, we reveal one guy wearing woman's underwear and arter belt, and another with |

- Man-breasts.

Finally, they're left standing in their underwear, gearing -

up for the big finale.

As the song ends, they turn around in unison, and whip off

their underwear. ‘They . stand resplendent in the nude.

PANNING from behind the suspects, we see their bare BEES

CLOSE ON Tim Tingle’ Ss butt - the head of his penis pokes through as he has tucked. his. dick between his legs.

CINDY | That's him - number 3. The one pulling the "pagina."

GUARDS come from either side and escort Tim Tingle out. He struggles against them, eerily staring right at Cindy

‘through the guess

‘TIM TINGLE 7 . I. swear ‘I didn't do it! I was set _

“Up.e.. They lead him away. Cindy nage Sheriff Duty gratetully- | | | CUT TO:

Sheriff Duty ‘stands on the front steps, talking to the. ‘PRESS, who shove microphones and-cameras in his face.

Courtney Cocks jostles her way ‘to ae front.

SHERIFF DUTY oO Well I'ma Sagittarius, 26, born in Rancho Cucamunga...

He walks off, and Courtney puts down her mike and follows him.

_ COURTNEY | .(catching up) I guess I was wrong about you... (flirtatiously) _ That's some police work.

Thanks.

_ COURTNEY (seductively) Maybe you and me could get together sometime and...

oo, COURTNEY Well, I was going to say "fuck," ‘but | ' I guess we could go out too.

They walk off together.

Cindy sits at the edge of her bathtub, wearing only ¢ a towel. She adds eubpie bath to the running water.

She lights candles, incense, and a menorah.

She drops her towel and steps into the sudsy bath. She

leans Back and gaves a deep SIGH of relaxation.

“The phone RINGS, startling her.’ She eyes the phone

anxiously. RING. She picks up.

- CINDY Hello? VOICE Hello Cindy. CINDY (alarmed) Who is this? VOICE It's me, Skeet. You know, your boyfriend?

She SIGHS, then grabs a razor and leans back to shave her legs. . ;

CINDY |

Sorry. I guess I'm just a little tired. SKEET.

Do you want me to come by?

She shaves her a rmpits.

then go to sleep. She shaves her face.

O.K. Love you.

She hangs up, then relaxes back into the tub, closing her eyes in tranquility ;

BLOOP! BLOOP! Two of cindy ': s FART BUBBLES rise to the

surface of the water. — . . :

She is in deep relaxation. A beat.

<

oo.

fl i ‘ i

ae The phone RINGS, startling her again. She picks it up all > warily. re ae . CINDY . _ Skeet, I told you I'm just too SCARY VOICE

| ee (from phone) _ . Oo Hello Cindy, miss me?

. Cindy stands straight up in terror at the recognition of the SCARY VOICE - it’s the same one from the first scene.

The bubbles form a perfect two-piece bikini over her, including straps and a bow.

be oe | SCARY VOICE ne That I was arrested? Wrong.

She listens in horror.

: - SCARY VOICE as _. I'm going to... —

CLICK! Her “call waiting" SOUNDS.

] | I _. _ CINDY | That's my other line. Can you hang > ) . ' on a sec?- ‘ ; ' A beat. | _ | SCARY VOICE | ‘She CLICKS over. - - Hello? r : 7 a | ' - SCARY VOICE Still me. CINDY. Oh, BOERY - hang on. -

She CLICKS over.

~

-Or

; CINDY Hello? SCARY VOICE > Me again.

She CLICKS over.

_ CINDY | Hello? —

| SCARY VOICE Yeah. But I'm still going to kill

you. Bye. He hangs.up.. She looks at the phone in horror - it's not over. : :

rae

It's the big game - the MARCHING BAND plays to bleachers. packed with. STUDENTS who watch the action on the field. —

ON THE FIELD

A heated ‘football. game is underway, FEATURING Jake as ‘the home team quarterback.

He fades back and throws a pass over the middle. His. RECEIVER goes ‘up for the ball.... .

'. CRUNCH! “the Receiver is hit. in mid-air. and lands head first on the turf. He lies there in pain as the HOME TEAM CROWD holes it's breath in anticipation. A beat.

The Receiver finally gets up as the home crowd APPLAUDS. As he trots off the field, waiving to the crowd, we see his

spine poking through his uniform. ON TWO SPORTSCASTERS

Sitting behind a sideline booth, giving the play by play.

SKEET mo It's not him,-he's in jail. It was probably just a crank call.

A VENDOR walks down the aisle with a. concession tray around his neck.

oe VENDOR : ; Peanuts! Hot dogs! Candy apples!

A DRUG DEALER walks down another aisle, also with a

concession tray around his neck - ‘only his contains narcotics.

DRUG: DEALER . Cocaine! | Mushrooms! Crack!

A STUDENT shouts out.

The Drug Dealer tosses the Student a crack rock in a

plastic baggie, as if he were tossing him a pag of peanuts.

BACK on, CINDY AND SKEET

She nervously swigs a bottle of £ tequila and chain-smokes.

‘He exits.

BACK ON THE FIELD - IN THE HUDDLE Jake pats a RECEIVER on the butt.

The Receiver turns and pats a LINEMAN on the butt.

The Lineman turns and pats a RUNNING BACK on the butt.

IN THE BLEACHERS

Cindy looks around for Skeet, who's nowhere in sight.

BACK IN THE HUDDLE -

_ _JAKE (giving play) Weak side "I" formation on "3." Ready - break!

tee et

they CLAP hands and come, ‘to the line. os *SN Eo =

The BEEFY OFFENSIVE AND DEFENSIVE LINEMAN dig in against each other, SNORTING and GROWLING. We even HEAR the "Moo"

‘of a cow.

Jake lines up under the CENTER, and calls for the ball.

~ - JAKE a . so Down!...Set!...

, : Jake looks. across at the defense.

‘To. his horror, one DEFENSIVE LINEBACKER Hae the Casper mask on - under his helmet!

The Killer has disguised himself as a ‘football player, to / right down to the number on his jersey - 666.

. JAKE (cont'd.) ---Holy shit!

The Center shrugs, and hikes the ball anyway.

_ _ SMASH! The two lines COLLIDE, helmet to helmet. The Killer rushes toward Jake but is BLOCKED ) by an OFFENSIVE

LINEMAN.

| . The Killer whips out his jagged knife, “and the Offensive ; Lineman immediately steps back. , oe

) . OFFENSIVE i . LINEMAN co oo (to Killer) Heys it's all you man.

The Killer now has a free path to Jake, and he runs straight for him, brandishing the knife. a : 7 JAKE | - Ahhh!

a ON THE SPORTSCASTERS _ roe ee _. ANNOUNCER 1 ,

Number 666 is slicing his way through those blockers.

IN THE STANDS

The nome crowd does the “Tomahawk Chop," but instead of styrofoam hatchets, they use ) styrofoam replicas of the

. Killer’ s dagger. — ON THE MARCHING BAND

. Who now play the theme from "Halloween. ”

BACK ON THE FIELD

Jake looks over his shoulder to see the Killer now riding a

‘lawn mower, still in hot pursuit.

Jake runs into the ‘opposing ‘etidzone - scoring a touchback,

The Home Crowd "BOOS!" the touchback.

The ‘Killer catches up to Jake. JAKE No...mo...!

WHIRRRR!!!: The Killer runs over Jake, sending his blood and guts flying out the other side of the mower.

| - ANNOUNCER L That'll make the highlight reel.

ANNOUNCER 2 ; Let's see that again in slow motion!

- JUMP CUT: JAKE'S DEATH SCENE PLAYED AGAIN: This time in slow motion. .

In the background we see a crew of GARDENERS with

_leafblowers, cleaning up Jake's remains. |

' BACK TO REAL TIME: ©

ON THE KILLER

. Who celebrates the murder by doing an elaborate endzone

dance -~a backflip, the splits, then a cartwheel. .

TOOT! The Referee ‘biows his whistle, and the Killer 2 * escapes. Cur TO:

A candlelight vigil is being held - eO2eRs ‘of STUDENTS, TEACHERS , and. PARENTS mourn. '

We PAN across some STUDENTS holding candles, some flicking lighters, neo finally. some setting Library books on fire.

wo moses eS

72,

Some hold signs which read: “WE'LL MISS YOU, QUENTIN,”

“REMEMBER JAKE," and finally, “LEGALIZE HEMP."“"

Among the sorrowful crowd, we FEATURE Cindy and Skeet, holding their own candles. ;

Courtney Cocks stands by with her Cameraman. She rubs an onion in her eyes to manufacture tears.

a word with one of the mourners...

She interviews a nearby elderly man, MR. CURTIS.

He walks off in tears.

Courtney turns back into lens, and we now see a giant herpes sore on her upper lip..

-~-Se o—a~ _— —- -

She points her camera and mike in his face.

COURTNEY | Are the killing's related?

Sheriff Duty turns to the camera, and we see he also has a giant herpes sore on his upper lip, matching Courtney's.

The cameraman turns the. lens on Principal Fonzy, who addresses the crowd of mourners.

. He takes out a cue card, and puts on his reading glasses.

-. ON CINDY AND SKEET

She's so saddened that she loses it - she drops her cance and: rushes off. oo,

wre we —_ae eee

He catches up and grabs her.

CINDY , ‘I can't live with this anymore. The guilt, the pressure, the : ; diarrhea...I'm going to confess.

She breaks his hold.

She rushes off toward Sheriff Duty.

- CINDY Sheriff Duty, I need to talk to you. It's about Time Tingle. Last Halloween his brother...

Skeet pulls ‘Cindy aside.

_ SKEET

Listen, Tingle's dead. He was the only one who could've known about it. The secret died with him. Just let it go. We're the only one's who know about it. 7

A beat. She looks up at him in dread.

—_——

; CINDY And Buffy.

They rush off, passing Principal Fonzy.

‘fo' life..."

‘A banner reads: "HOMECOMING CEREMONY"

The audience is filled with STUDENTS. ON STAGE |

The three finalists - Buffy, Danielle, and Heather wear evening gowns with ribbons draped across them.

Heather's ribbon reads: "Miss Universe" Danielle's reads: "Miss - Congeniality" Buffy's reads: "Miss | Fellatio" , a

- The HOST - CHUCK WOOLERY, wearing a tuxedo, addresses the

crowd.

And this year’ s Kevin Williamson

High Homecoming Queen is... A DRUMROLL SOUNDS. |

- The audience APPLAUDS.

‘BUFFY Oh my god - I won!

Heather and Danielle hug Buffy in n congratulations.

‘DANIELLE Congratulations, Buffy.

~ —— - «

-[ -_ —_— ~~

—~_— = —_——

wwe we ee jeoe Siam

BUFFY | I know you two are just being phoney bitches, but thanks.

Chuck Woolery places a bouquet of roses in her hand, and a tiara on her head.

He kisses her on both cheeks, then whispers in ner ear:

He hands her a room key, then gives her ass a squeeze.

She walks to center stage, blowing kisses and waiving. to the crowd.

The audience toss roses at her, then they toss rose vases.

SMASH! CRASH! She smiles and waives as the vases SHATTER against her head.

- BUFFY Ohy thank you - thank you! OUTSIDE

Cindy and Skeet run up and YANK on the auditorium doors - they're eenec:

here.

He rushes off. _

BACK INSIDE

As Buffy stands in her moment of glory, we PAN to the wings. oo.

IN THE WINGS

THE KILLER LURKS!. He holds a rope tied to a bucket

labeled: PIG'S BLOOD. The bucket is perched atop a

rafter Gerectiy over Buffy's head, a la "Carrie."

He pulls the rope, tipping the. bucket - SPLASH!

holds up her blood dripping hands and SCREAMS.

She collapses in a chair. A beat.

SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH! ' Three more buckets DOUSE her, like Jennifer Beals in “Flashdance." ;

Song "What a Feeling" UP as she jogs. in place ; ina puddle of blood, trying to get it off her..

Terrified, she looks back to see the Killer in the Wings; brandishing a knife.

BUFFY |

No...

She crawls down the runway, swinging her head from side to side - WHIPPING blood from her hair into the crowd.

‘The MALE members of the crowd throw $1 bills at her, as if

she was a stripper.

‘OUTSIDE

‘Cindy BANGS on the locked door. —

oo. CINDY Open up! BACK INSIDE

Buffy crawls. to the end of the stage, checking behind her for the Killer. She turns back around and SCREAMS!

She's face.to face with the Killer -- he's in the. ‘stage

floor prompter pit.

—e ee <

—— ”

———ee

He grabs her arms and BAM! Bumps her head as he pulls her under the stage. oo . BUFFY (as she's dragged under) Nooo...!

The audience look around confused - where'd she go?

From under the floor, we HEAR the AGONIZING SCREAMS of Buffy getting slaughtered.

| | BUFFY : STOP! HELP! NO! AAHHH....

We HEAR the sounds of BONES CRUNCHING and FLESH TEARING.

‘The audience members, freaked out, head for the exits - but ‘the doors are all toeked

ON BUFFY

As she staggace out of the pit. She's gushing blood from her stab wounds like fire hoses. oe

The audience spots her and SCREECH in horror.

She opens her mouth and WHOOSH! - Blood shoots out like an

. open dam. WHOOSH! WHOOSH! Blood spurts out of her eyes,

nose, then ears.

Blood now shoots out of her in ridiculous torrents, making -

her look like a HUMAN SPRINKLER.

.. The crowd. Slips on her blood as they frantically POUND on '. the locked. doors. The blood fills the auditorium, ankle

Seen:

OUTSIDE

Cindy tries to pry the doors” open with a crowbar, to no. avail. She then puts on a welders mask and blowtorches,

_and finally, a -jackhammer .

Suddenly, blood seeps through the door’ jam.

INSIDE

“ghe place is now filled with blood, like a water. tank.

Students - swim around, ‘some even have scuba gear.

BOOM! The doors finally BURST open, and Blood steeds out

ina big wave.

OUTSIDE

Blood SPLASHES over Cindy as Students are washed out of the auditorium. The auditorium drains, teaving Buffy to beach

on the £ront SICSPAS

Cindy rushes to her.

Buffy's a bloody mess - but STILL ALIVE. | ‘BUFFY (dying words) The Killer is... Cindy leans in closer, and Buffy WHISPERS to her.

_ CINDY . Wait, I can't hear you...

Cindy takes off her walkman headphones.

. CINDY Buffy - who's the killer? Buffy...Buffy...?!

Just then, Skeet appears.

_ CINDY Skeet, Buffy's dead. Where have you been? , - SKEET

I was looking for the back entrance, Bue Fees ORlen” t find it. ,

She looks past ‘him to see 3 FLASHING NEON “EXIT. SIGNS. She- frowns suspiciously.

Skeet and Cindy pull up. She looks at him a tense beat. -

er a pp

—ee oe

--

wee eee —~sw we

NN.

apprehensively. -

80. .

‘SKEET Hey, it's gonna be o.k. I promise. _ Just stay inside and lock your doors. I'll pick you up in the . morning. | ,

She exits. He drives off, his car radio BLARING Oingo’

Boingo's “Dead Man" ‘S$ Party."

Cindy's on the couch watching T. Ver but all that's on is

late night infomercials.

ON THE T.V.

PINHEAD, from "Hellraiser,". lies on a massage table as a CHINESE DOCTOR performs acupuncture on him.

PINHEAD © . Take it from me, Pinhead...

He stands up, wearing just a towel as hundreds of needles stick out of his body.

Cindy changes the channel. re en yates

The phone RINGS, startling her. She picks up

_ CINDY ' Hello? - MR. CAMPBELL (from phone) ~ Hi, pumpkin. I heard about your friends dying, eheught you might want to talk.

| CINDY © | . Thanks, Dad. —

-_ —=— er ow

~———ss we —~ee :

~~]

How are you and Skeet doing?

- CINDY Fine...I guess.

_ She flips to another infomercial.

ON THE T.V.

LEATHERFACE, from “Texas Chainsaw Massacre," cuts through

different human body. parts with a chainsaw.

‘She changes the channel.

. MR. CAMPBELL You know... (struggling for words ) ‘soe VOUT mother would've been better ‘about this but...I think it's time _ we had zhat talk.

CINDY |

MR. CAMPBELL .

| Now I know you're modest...but

_. there's some things you should know. ' You see the man's got Ave -Aeee

a CINDY . Cock?

a”. MR. CAMPBELL ~ ~ ‘(taken aback) ~~. Uh...that's right. And the woman's got a... _ Ff =:

MR. CAMPBELL | 0. K...uh...yes, that's uh...correct. So the man and woman...uh...uh...

nut?

_"Halloween," models his hockey mask.

She turns it off. —

‘MR. CAMPBELL ;

Well, whatever you decide to do with Skeet, I trust your judgement.

Gosh, you've grown up so fast. [I guess you're not daddy's little girl

anymore. ~CINDY

Oh, Dad, I'll always be Our little girl.

Cindy lies asleep in bed. Her door CREAKS open, ‘aking her. She rubs her eyes and quanta to see who’s there.

A SHADOWY FIGURE approaches.

oe CINDY Dad...?

She turns on the lights to reveal - IT'S THE KILLER!

CINDY | (screams) AAHHHH!

She jumps out of. bed as he lunges at her with a knife. She grabs an endtable, and fends him off like a lion-tamer.

CRACK! She SNAPS a whip at him.

CINDY» Get back! Get back!

The Killer GROWLS at her as he STABS at the endtable, Sending wood chips everywhere. .

The gaudust clears to reveal the endtable' Ss now carved into ¢ Rodans' "The Thinker."

' She runs. off into the kitchen, with the Killer in pursuit.

IN THE KITCHEN

She dumps | out a drawer filled with kitchen utensils.

MEOW! The knife misses, but STABS her CAT, pinning it to the wall. —~

ae » CINDY Oh no, Fluffy!

She looks through the ‘remaining utensils — no knives. SO instead she throws a spatula, curkey baster, and an eqg- beater at the Killer.

They miss, but stick into the wall behind as if they were

knives. She cowers as the Killer raises the knife over

- her.

_ CINDY | Don‘t.-...

- a - 7 -- 7

~~

—-_~

—_———w

Just as he's about to stab her, she TOSSES a glass of water at him - SPLASH! She throws a plugged » in toaster at him, hitting his now wet clothes.

ZIP! ZAP! ZEE! Electrical JOLTS shoot through the Killer's body, causing him to convulse and gyrate.

HIP-HOP MUSIC UP. The Killer: s twitching body starts

break-dancing in time to the Beat.

ZIP! ZAP! The JOLTS cause him to do elaborate hip-hop moves: He does the WORM, POP-LOCKS, and even WINDMILLS ON

“HIS HEAD.

Finally, he collapses dead. ‘Cindy approaches the body slowly, then reaches down and takes off the mask...

The place. is now a full crime scene - COPS, MEDIA, etc. Sheriff Duty stands with his arm aroun Cindy, addEsasang -

the PRESS.

Courtney Cocks jostles for position.

a COURTNEY Didn' t you say that last time?

Courtney turns to her cameraman. |

And there you have it. In an ironic “twist, Cotton Blend, the man who - murdered Joan Campbell, was. kilied _by her daughter, Cindy Campbell.

This is Courtney Cocks, Signing off. Remember, if it's murder, kiddie- ‘porn, Or animal husbandry, I'11

bring you the story first.

. Superimposed: OCTOBER 31, 1998 - HALLOWEEN

The house is decorated for Halloween - jack ' o lanterns,

orange and black streamers, etc.

“Dozens” of cars are parked haphazardly on the lawn as TEENAGERS enter the house party.

- Skeet and Cindy enter.

_ IN THE HOUSE

A raucous: ‘party - is in full swing - loud music, dancing, drinking... —

ON THREE DRUNKEN DUDES

One chugs a beer, then CRUNCHES it against his forehead. | The next chugs a bottle, then SMASHES it over his own head.- The third finishes off a keg, then CLANGS! it into his: own

head, KNOCKING HIMSELF . ouUT.

. CINDY Yeah...

. all the killing ended with still 20 minutes left .in the movie.

‘They pass one GUY, snorting a line of coke. Another GUY Gumps' out. a line of Comet Cleanser, and ‘sn snorts it. -

we

: emanating from her untamed forest.

: CINDY Skeet, I'm sorry I ever doubted you. Throughout all of this, you’ ve been -hers for me.

_ . SKEET Hey, I love you.

' CINDY And I. love you. | (whispers in his ear) And tonight I" m gonna prove it.

She takes his hand and leads him upstairs. They pass a

GIRL, who's beer-bonging. Just as she drains the beer out. of the funnel, a DRUNKEN DUDE, about to vomit, UPCHUCKS

into the funnel.-

_ =, PARTYGOERS CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

She drinks down the. now chunky beer.

- UPSTAIRS - IN THE BEDROOM

Skeet and Cindy lie on the bed, making out. He gets her bra off and looks at her breasts. . a

ON HER BREAST

with not. one, but two nipples. They | continue to makeout. He tries to take off her panties, but — LS

‘His eyes gleam with heated anticipation as she lowers ‘her .

panties...

POOF! Her enormous BUSH OF PUBIC BAIR fills the screen.

We HEAR the primitive sounds of the CALL OF THE WILD

He whips out a machete and THWACK! He | SLASHES at the bush.' He pulls back the blade to find it's dented | - he needs =

something stronger.

——

a7.

He puts on protective goggles and FIRES UP a weed wacker. WHIRRRRRR! He trims her bush, as pubes fly. everywhere.

He gets on top of her, ‘kissing his way down below the border... _

Cindy arches her back and MOANS in delight. A beat. Skeet

comes back up, now wearing full scuba gear - tank, snorkel mask, fins.

He takes his mask off, and Liguid pours out.

He mounts her and thrusts in. CINDY

, (surprised) - ' That's not it.

He thrusts in again. CINDY Still not it. He finally gets it right, and “they make beautiful love.

“ster in me...

' She climbs on top of him, and rides him hard. His smile

turns to a frown as she rides him harder, and harder, really getting into it. DOWNSTAIRS |

The PARTYGOERS look | up as the ceiling THUMPS, CRACKS , and CRUMBLES from the action in the bedroom.

BACK. IN THE BEDROOM

Skeet hangs on for dear life as Cindy sits on him,. spinning axound on him like a HUMAN SIT-' H-ePius

roaanen 4

OS.

TIME LAPSE: ON CINDY Sleeping in bed. She wakes to find Skeet's gone.

She gets out of bed, and puts her clothes on.

- CINDY’ Skeet?

She ventures down the hall.

CSWNe Tihs Cindy descends the stairs and SCREAMS at what ‘she sees.

EVERYONE AT THE PARTY HAS BEEN KILLED!

One is. hanging by a noose, one is fried in an electric ' chair, another is quillotined, while another is stretched

on a medieval rack.

Cindy walks terrified through the bodies. She spots SKEET - LYING DEAD IN A POOL OF BLOOD.

oo, CINDY .Skeet!!.

She looks in horror to see her DAD - also lying there dead.

. . CINDY No, not Dad! —

She WEEPS in terror over the bodies. Among them we FEATURE - Principal Fonzy, who's also been killed.

RING! RING! The phone RINGS, startling her.

She eyes the phone. with mounting dread.

| CINDY (picks up) H-hello...?

CLICK. He hangs up. - Scaicd, she looks wildly around, but

the Killer's nowhere in sight.

Suddenly, above her we now reveal the Killer, lowering himself down silently behind ASE: from a ceiling beam.

CRACK! The beam SNAPS and the Killer clumsily drops to the ground with a THUD! :

She dashes off down the hall, with the Killer giving chase.

_ She runs and hides ina closet.

_IN THE CLOSET

Like Jamie Lee Curtis in. "Halloween, " she cowers in the - corner of the closet.

THWACK! SPLINTER! The Killer HACKS at the closet door, as Cindy SCREAMS. oo e

“Thinking quickly, she grabs a moo-moo and throws it over his head, blinding him.

- She uses the distraction to dash past him, but ‘before she

he away, she stops in her tracks.

‘She turns and faces the Killer.

SLASH! The Retlen sveas at her, euetine her acm:

From behind, we see the Killer's cloak is cut out to reveal

She looks around for a weapon.

ag 90. |

They square off like two boxers. She raises her dukes - BAM! She SOCKS him in the eye, and we now see a black eye over his mask. Lo Di

CINDY | You sonofabitch!

BAM! She kicks him so hard in the ass, he actually COUGHS UP her high heel shoe.

They squat like Sumo wrestlers, GRUNTING and CHALKING up"

their hands. They BUMP bellies.

his sumo-thonged butt.

SLASH! He cuts her again, in the other arm.

CINDY . | I'm gonna beat the shit out of you.

PUNCH! KICK! SOCK! She throws a vicious combo at him:

Behind the Killer, fecal matter SPLATTERS against the wall. .

ON THE WALL

An axe ina glass case, with a label. reading: “IN CASE. OF FIRE. - -. BREAK. GLASS"

Another case, also containing an axe, but this label

“EGAGLNGt- “EN. CASE OF HOMICIDAL MANIAC - BREAK GLASS" | SMASH! ‘She breaks the glass, and grabs the axe.

The Killer raises his knife, but she' Ss quicker with her 7

axe. .

‘CINDY ‘This is for my mom... —

THWACK! She hacks off the Killer's right arm. Undaunted | by the spewing stump, he lunges again. . .

ae CINDY This is for my dad... , -—

THWACK! She hacks. off the Killer's lett arm. Now armless, he enarges her. . .

f

; CINDY This is for Skeet...

THWACK! She hacks off the Killer's. right leg. Now HOPPING on one. leg, the Killer lunges again. —

THWACK! She hacks off the Killer's last leg, leaving him

just a torso and head.

Unfazed by the loss of limbs, the Killer SCO "TS at her. Just as she's about to off him, he TEETERS back, and TUMBLES down the staircase.

DOWNSTAIRS ~

The Killer lands at the bottom of the stairs, lying unconscious. Cindy follows, and again raises the axe to finish him. = ae

Suddenly, TWO ARMS grab her from behind - it's Sheriff Duty.

| | SHERIFF DUTY Cindy, he's dead. It's over.

He takes the axe out of her hand. She's in shock.

TIME LAPSE:

-EXT - HOUSE - aise?

the place is now a ‘huge crime scene - COPS, MEDIA,. etc.

ON CINDY AND SHERIFF DUTY

He consoles her | as ‘the CORONER wheels the Killer out in a bodybag- ,

The Coroner stops.

Killer is?

A long beat. Her MOM'S VOICE echoes in her head - "Cindy, don't take off the mask, don' 't take off the aasks ==

(CINDY No. — SHERIFF DUTY

(to Coroner) Get him out of here.

Cindy watches. distrustfully as. ‘the Coroner wheels the body to the Coroner's van.

Suddenly, she lunges for Sheriff Duty' s | Eevolver, and yanks it from his holster. CINDY (waiving gun) Everyone get back! All COPS draw their guns, then train them on Cindy. |

| SHERIFF DUTY -Cindy, put the gun down! You don't want to do this. a

She grabs Courtney Cocks and puts. the gun to her head, | noiesed her. hoatage. |

_ COURTNEY

Please don' tees _ (to cameraman)

-.-keep rolling.

-The Cops move in, Cindy COCKS the gun.

- 93.

CINDY

i | “ Everyone get back or I'll kill her!

; _ SHERIFF DUTY — Just put the gun down.

CINDY

BLAM! POW! BLAST! All Cops OPEN FIRE - mistakenly shooting Courtney with a hail of bullets.

SHERIFF Dury

They stop. Courtney drops to the ground, bullet ridden and bloody. Cindy, unharmed, runs to the van where the Killer

lies in a bodybag in back. . po VROOM! Cindy hijacks the van, PEELING OUT down the road.

ON COURTNEY COCKS

. 7 As she lies bloody and dying. Sheriff Duty kneels by her, ‘ _ cradling her head tenderly. _ a

. - SHERIFF DUTY 7 - . Hang in there, kid, you're going to oe make it...

. (looks her over) -.-they missed all your vital |

organs.

we

‘The Cameraman puts down his camera and also kneels by her, ' with tears in his eyes. | COURTNEY (to cameraman) — Keep rolling, you bastard, this is .

a

Cb

_ She turns to Duty.

“He leans down and kisses her blood-filled mouth. -

Cindy speeds down the road in the van, with the bo bodybaq ‘in

‘the back. She winds along the steep cliffs passing a sign _ which reads: Dawson's River.

She looks in the rearview mirror, to see the bodybag SQUIRMING - The Killer's still alive!

Just then, the Killer UNZIPS the bodybag with his mouth.

He lunges over the seat, trying to bite her qugulaxs

; CINDY

SCREECH! She SLAMS on the praked, sending the Killer SMASHING through the windshield.

“He lands in the road, 10 feet in front of the =

The Killer rears up on his torso - Still alive! .

She jams it into gear and FLOORS IT - SMACK! © She RAMS. him. She throws it in reverse and CRUNCH! - rolls over him.

She repeats this until he lies motionless in the road. Satisfied that he's dead, she CoLapsss against the

steering wheel, exhausted.

THUD! Cindy. looks up to see that the Killer has jumped onto the grill of the van, holding onto the hood ornament

with his mouth - ‘Still alive!

| CINDY - No, no...

She jams it into gear and aims it for the edge of the

cliff. |

73 «

t sstt@ ins teedenai

_ CINDY | She drives: off the edge, and the van goes CRASHING down the side of the cliff with the Killer still on the hood. ON THE ROCKS BELOW

KABOOM! ! ! The van lands in a fiery heap, EXPLODING on impact. |

Cindy is thrown from the van, landing on the rocky shore.

Cindy is battered, bruised and generally. fucked up. She approaches the Killer, who's pinned. under the smoldering . van. ;

“The Killer lifts his head - HE'S STILL NOT DEAD!

. She stares at the masked Killer.

She unmasks the Killer to ‘reveal that it's...MARTHA

‘STEWART!

- _ .CINDY Martha Stewart?! But why?

. In a twist, Cindy realizes this too is a mask. She pulls off the Martha Stewart mask to reveal the real killer

is...JESUS smecodanee

- JESUS CHRIST Got. a. smoke?

Cindy realizes this is also a mask. She pulls off the ; Jesus mask. to reveal...

CINDY ©

(gasps) Mom? {

7 THE TRUE KILLER Is JOAN CAMPBELL - HER MOTHER!

; CINDY But I thought you were dead.

‘alive.

Cindy takes a step back, reeling with the horrible truth.

. - JOAN CAMPBELL I came back a iake my revenge.

‘= * CINDY What about Tim Tingle, Cotton

Blend...?

JOAN CAMPBELL | My lovers.

mother.

| JOAN CAMPBELL: My revenge was almost complete. You

were the dast... Tears well in Cindy's eyes.

THWACK! She lops off her mom's head. | Superimposed : ONE YEAR LATER FADE IN | ' INT. - COLLEGE DORMITORY - DAY .

FADE OUT -

IN THE GIRLS. BATHROOM

Cindy enters, wearing a towel, and turns on the hoe water .

in the shower stall. Steam envelopes the room. She walks to a mirror, and takes” a hard look at herself. CINDY . | (to her reflection) You survived. You're a survivor...

A beat.

She drops her towel, revealing a 12" PENIS dangling between her legs, like Dirk Diggler in “Boogie Nights.”

As the steam parts, she sees a message written on the - mirror:

I STILL KNOW WHAT you DID LAST HALLOWEEN...

Cindy SCREAMS in horror.

ROLL END CREDITS