"POLICE ACADEMY 2: THEIR FIRST ASSIGNMENT" (1985)

STATS118pages260scenes17,661words20%dialogue91characters

Words

  • dialogue3,47220%
  • action13,16875%
  • other1,0215.8%

Scenes

location
  • INT 40
  • EXT 55
  • UNKNOWN 165
time
  • DAY 14
  • UNKNOWN 246
1

OPEN

"POLICE ACADEMY II" (working title)

Written by

Barry Blaustein

and

David Sheffield

flfTH DRAFT

October 10, 1984

"POLICE ACADEMY 11"

ACT O}IE

FADE IN:

1

EXT. RUN-DOWN IHNER ·CITYBUSINESS DI STRICT -KIGHT

Sinister tension MUSIC BEG HISas we ESTABLISH the bleak, low skyline.

2 ANO'l'IIERANGLE 2

As we MOVE IN ON a small shop. Through the window we can seea nerdish MERCHAH'L anervous but spunky little guy with glasses. He loollsout of thewindow with ap- prehension,turns the "OPEK" sign around so that it reads, "CLOSED."

3

INT. SHOP

The Merchant opens his cash register, takes out a small stack of cash and stuffs it into a bank d~posit enuP.lope. He quickly seals the envelope and tucks it into his bre.istpocket. How he picl:sup a canistor of MacP., studies i-tgrimly, then jams it into his side pocket.

4 SERIES OF QUICKCLOSEUPS - MERClll\ltT 4

Securing his shop:

A> He stretches some folding burglar bars across the front window, locllsthem shut.

B) He slams the heavy steel baclrdoor, locks three solid deadbolts in rapid succession, then drops .thea.1111 steel bar in place.

C} He switches off the lights.

D) Ho turns a key, activating a sophisticated alarm sys- tem. A red ,~arningsign f1<1sheson and off. It says, "SYSTEMARtlEO." The IIT,ARTTbeginsBEEP.

has just a few seconds before the alarm goes off. Ho

,.

moves quickly. Fir~t h~ rl~r~~ P lifa-~i~P plastic police do!!i·1f!_,,,...•·• ··,,.,,1•::,rsupacard- :c board cut-out of c:;11,l,.~,.~t.-.·,;:l;,:;''DirtyHarry"point-:« ing a huge pistol. II€!flipsa switch which turns on a "' TAPE RECORDER inside th€!DOG. It B/IRKSrepeatedly.

6

EXT. SHOP - COMTIMUOUS ACTION

The Merchant steps out, locks the !ront door with a giant padlock. Just when we think he's through, he pulls a heavy chain and a giant metal door rolls down, completely covering the front of the shop. On the door is every kind of warning sign imaginable: •COMPUTER SENTRY SYSTEM -- W!\RNIMG!""ARnED RESPOHSE," "BEl~AREOF KILLER DOG," ''SUDDENDEATHASSURED," "THIS MEAllSYOU!" "l'IEl1BEROF HATlOHAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION." The Merchant steps back, takes out a remote control device and pusl1esa button. Barbed wire automatically stretches into place. He pushes another button and the wire begins to glo1~141lh electrical current. The ELECTRICITY BUZZES and SNAPS a warning. The nerchant turns and walks dot.Jnthe street.

7

ANOTHER ANGLE

As he steps quickly down the deserted str~et, scared to death. He passes several bombed-out buildings and burned cars. The MUSIC INTENSIFIES as ho quickons his pace. liehears tho CRASH of Gl,J\SS.He breal:s and nins.

The MUSIC ACCELERATES,

8

ANOTHER ANGLE

As ~,esee wheIE~he is headed: a 211-hourbanlli ngma- chine. llog<itsthoro, gasping for broath, panicky. lie sticks his hank card in the machine and frantically enters his code nunber, Seconds grind past. The tension MUSIC BUILDS and STOPS.

9

CLOSE 011BANK COMPUTER

A message appears: "Temporarily out of service. Sorry for the inconveniP.nce."

10

MERCHANT

pounds on tho machine, a beaten man. Ho sensGS so~u;~body beJ1iJ1dhima1,rl~pin~nrou11rl•••

r!USICSTHIG!

11 SEVERAL MEMBERS or A GANG 11

hover ;,roundhim, completely blocking his escape. They are an incr~dibly scaring-looki11gbunch, some bla~~. ~omo white, some hispanic, some women. One of the guys is ~ playing witlta Slinky. ~

<COll'i'IIIUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" -Rev. 10/10/Sq 3.

These are not suburban punkers. These are vicious, hid- eous, ugly toughs. ZED, the wide-eyed, psychotic leader, stands at the front of the gang.

,.

12

OFFICER DOOLEY

strolls down the alley whistling. He walks right be- tJ,Jeenthegang and the Merchant. He instantly sizes up the situation.

DOOLEY .. EKcuse me.

He does a quick about-face and retreats.

13

MERCHANT

isa defeated man. Without any prompting,he hands the envelope of cash to Zed who takes it but still waits ex- pectantly. The l'lerchanthands hiswallet to Zed. Still no response. He takesoff his watch and gives it to Zed who snaps his fingers. The gang starts to leave. Sud- denly, the little Merchant decides to play hero. Ile fum- bles in his pocket,comes out with the canister of M~ce.

Hey, you forgot something.

Zed turns around and sees the Mace. A wicked grin plays across his lips. He reaches out and very calmly takes theMace and sprays a couple of shots into his mouth

:,:

as though it•s breath spray. He picl1sup the 11erchant

,.

andkisses him.

END OF TITLE SEQUENCE.

,.., 14

11

EXT. CITY BUILDING - DAY

We PANALOHG the wall of the run-down brick building which is covered with graffiti. Obviously the gang has made many raids on the place. It is not until the CAMERA STOPS on tl1esign over thE><loorthat we realizc it's the police station. A wisp of toilet paper hangs from the sign which is one of those old-fashioned globe lights with "POLICE PRECINCT 1116"painted on it. The gang m\lst have "rolled" the building overnight. All at onco some- one O. S.throws half a brick, SHA.TTERIHGthe GLOBE.

15

UNMARKED SEDAM

pulls up in front of the precinct.

16

INT. GAR

POLICE CHIEF HURST, his driver and his bodyguard are lookingaround nervously.

HURST
Let's go.
14

EXT. PRECINCT -CONTINUOUS ACTION 17

As Chief Hurst and the others leap from the car and make a break for the building, crouched low, running a zig- zag pattern. Suddenly, out of nowhere, they are pelted with eggs.

18

INT.POLI CE PRECIIICT-CONTINUOUS ACT IOK

Hurst and the othors enter, dripping with eggs. They push their way through a crowd of distraught citi2en5 who are complaining loudly to a bunch of old, tired, defeated cops. They pass the Merchant we met in the opening scene.

MERCH/\IIT You've got to stop this gang. It's the third time this week I've been robbed.

A HARE l<RISHHAis co1nplainingto another cop.

HARE KRISHR/1. Look at this. They cut off my ponytail.

A nice OLD LADY is complaining to a fat slob of a tle5ll sergeant who is reading a Chic tlagazin~,unconcernecl.

OLD LADY
They have no respect for you, for me, for anyone.
(snapping at him)
Listen to mr, you ~tupid shit. I'm talking to you.
19

INT. CAPTA II{PF.TF.T.F\!':!':J\?."•~~R.R.!R·R.--CO}{TIRUOUSACTI01119

Chief Hur!ltenters, furoingmad. He confronts the pre- cinct cornrnander,CAP'l:AIMPETtLASSI\RD.The captain is a tough hut decent old-timer who's served ~t the pre- cinct for 32 years.

(CONTIHUE:D>

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/23/84 5.

19

CONTINUED: \9

After years of playing good-cop/bad-cop, Lassard is a man on the edge. Waiting for him to fall off is LIEUTENANT MAUSER, a snide, sniveling, officious man in his mid- thirties. CARL PROCTOR is present.

HURST
Well, congratulations, Captain.
PETE LASSARD
(reacts to Hurst> What is it now, Hurst?
HURST
It's official. According to these reports, this is now the worst precinct in the entire city. Burgulary up 36¾. Armed robbery up 20¾. Vandalism up ~q¾.

Proctor whispers something to Mauser.

MAUSER
Actually, I think if you'll check, sir, it's more like ~S%.
HURST
Thank you, Lieutenant .•.ah...
MAUSER
Mauser. M-a-u-s•..
PETE LASSARD
(interrupting)
He didn't ask for your God damn resume, Mauser. Listen, Hurst. You cut my budget. You cut my staff. I got nothing to work with. Look around you. Those guys are old, they're tired. They just can•t hack it any more.
HURST
Maybe they need a new Captain, Lassard. Come on men••• the Mayor wants results, Lassard, just what do you propose?
PETE LASSARD
I propose you take your nose out of my business and stick it up tho mayor's ass where it usually is.
HURST
You'ue got exactly thirty days, to turn this precinct around or you're out. Do you understand? Thirty days and that's it.

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/23/8~ 6.

19 CONrINUED1 (2) 19

PETER LASSARD
What you're asking is impossible and you know it. I'll need a dozen ne1.1men!!
HURST
You can have siK.

They exit.

PETE LASSARD
Get me the Police Academy. I want to speak to my brother.
20

EXT. OFFICE

Mauser stops Hurst. Mhile they talk we can see a member of the gang in the b.g., casually breaking into the pre- cinct's candy machine 1.1ithacrowbar. No one seems to notice as the coins fall out and hit the floor.

111\USER Sir, we're all under pressure here but 1 see no reason to insult the mayor and yourself but, I've got some ideas of my own about running the precinct.

HURST
I'm sure you do, Mauser.
MAUSER
Long range plans, Captain, planning steps, deployment. It's really a a question of leadership that works and ...
HURST
Lassard's got 30 days -- ifhe blows it,the job is yours.
MAUSER
<smiling) I understand, sir.
HURST
Mauser •..you"re themost incredible ass-kisser I've ever seen.
MAUSER
(still smiling)
Thank you very much, sir. I do my best. Regards to your lovely wi !e.

"POLICE ACADEMY JI" - Rev. 10/23/84 7.

z, INT. POLICE ACADEMY COMt!ANDANT'SOFFICE - DAY 21

COMMANDANT ERIC LASSARD sits alone, watching a large goldfish S"Wimaround in a rather small bowl. He picks up a giant-sized container of fish food and shakes it over the bowl. Nothing comes out. He shakes harder. The PHONE RINGS. He picllsit up, still shaking the fish food 1,1iththe other hand.

ERIC LASSARD
Police Academy ...this is Commandant Eric Lassard speaking,

INTERCUT THROUGHOUT: Captain Pete Lassard at precinct.

PETE LASSARD
Eric ••• thisis Pete.
ERIC LASSARD
Pete! It's uery, very nice of you to call. How's my baby brother?
PETE LASSARD
Not so good.

Throughout this, Eric Lassard has been trying to shake the fish food. He slams tha container with tho back oI his hand and the top comes off, filling the bowl with a small mountain of fish food.

<COHTIHUED)

21 COKTIKUEDt 21

The fish is smothered.

ERIC LASSARD
(distracted)
What's up •..uh... Pete?
PETE LASSARD
I've got a problem.

Eric Lassard pokes around in bowl with a letter opener. He can't find the fish.

ERIC LASSI\RD We all have out little problems.

PETE LASSARD
Yeah, but this is serious.
ERIC LASSARD
1 hope you haven't gotten some girl in trouble.

PETF:LI\SSARD No, no. I need to got my hands on some young men.

ERIC LASSARD
(taken aback)
Well ...I guess there are places you could go •••certain bars and so on, Does Margaret know about this?

PETE LASSI\RD What are you talking about? I'm in trouble here. I need some new recruits.

ERIC LASSI\RD (relieved) Oh. Well •••tl1at'seasy. We've had many, many fine young graduate~ here at the Academy,• •both 111en and WOIBE'll.

PETE LASS/I.RD I need the best you can find. Some real lalapaloozers.

ERIC LASSARD
I know exactly who you need.
22

EXT. SUBURDAH STRE~T - MORHLN~

He are CLCSt OJIOEFICER f.UGF.ll~T/1.CY.LEBERR'i,Mhois bristling wilh e,,er}"policegadgr,tir,,.t;Jin.ihle:htt!cJCi-c~- volver, mncc-,h:rndcuffs,hal<,n··-everything but the rioL helmet. He hit!!:sonl£'r!>lil:e:ifields!:!rgcant.

TAC~:T.r.r.r.RRY Comp on. Move it, moue it,

23

WIDER /\IIGLE

To 1eveal that hQ is ~ s:drnoIcIossi119guard. SC)vr.•r~! eler,~nl::nykicl'.i~all!bri'.il:l~•acrossth1>sl.H,EL,mxict:'.i to ~et aHny from Tacklnb~rry.

"i'J\''.!'.l.~:m::P.P.i<cont• d) Ke'?pit moving! l.ct''.igo.

?.4

[\t:halp-fa<:f'dr.ij.~1~1l~-;)r~0tlr;~·r:~Pf'l:'ll:stohr·rt·!hin~•,oh- noi-:iauscig!tl··year·oldBJ1t1';.

MOU IH t!£i>.CEDES Neu, Bii~,,.I wn11lyo1:to go ~trnlghl to c:1;"I~:,t!Hl~y.

•!hyshou1 cl11

t1~H~I?~nr:n(~~nr:s E~c~cs~ 1 ~~1d :=~.

r.oriIHr1E,~cr:n!•:s (fi,ml~•) Yot~•~batt~r ,-~~,,dJ~P,mi~t~r.

(then rnu!e,rhi,- lnC:\ll,) hird f.-.,C~f'a

~!0;1HIITRCE'l'J::S

Th:ltde:•~it.. i°:)111~1nt10~1h1,.,. (t:C'l:T1Jnn:D)

2S CC'HTIllUf.11:

BR/1.T (tnuntlng sarcasm) Oh, I'm I(l«lsc~red.

!on!oohs out to s'"~··-

26 TI\CKLEBERl".l'.

at th€ school cr,,s:;ing.

,..,

?.7 BAC~:1'0!10!1 ,_'

As shP.~JP.tsoutof th~ car, crossc>sto T:u:)(Jp),<,rry.

TJ\t:~·:T.~:?.f-:fEY CsnlutiHg c~!>u~!l}•) llelp;·ou,rn;i';1s,?

r;o•;IHtlf.J'f~E!'.F.S Yes, o{ficr?r. nr son Hri;~:·is al~ars Jn~a !er ~ch0ol. c~ultlyo~ talk to }ii~•••~it~)J~giv~,lljrna liU.IP ~,;~ni?

LI\G~:LF.!lc.!'!\Y (snilin,:~ Sure tl,j1,g,ma•~~-

2'? 'i'Atl-:LEP.Ei!RY

Ill.B1i;:!'n. (chc>c:ltinghisH;il:ch) Alno.'.7teicrh\:h111nl.1•:,r.lho11r!:.Tiw;1 to dPptoy lor sci1ool.

BR:\T I •1l~ro!·!h~nI ·1~,?~:ld}'•

TAGJ:LEE~E:P.RY Csud~~1,ly~c1Qa~ing) rou'r(!_?C•:"ll_\'__I:("!_',.._:-JSt~•!"!!T

I.Jitharna~l!~g~i·•f•()!l,1'ar:kt;:-l--...!r~•c';r"~•~::his:;jrl,~,~r~i.·hich tu:rnsou\:to lJtialll:~~·i0~-~··~h··ilrn~;1'!~.~IOL-

(COHTl}n~~•:P;·

"POLICEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/84 11.

29

COKTIKUED:

Aiming it with both hands heFIRES a canister, SHATTERING the rearWINDOW of the station wagon. The car instantly fillswith a thick cloud of gas. The Brat climbs out of the front window and hits the ground.

TACKLEBERRY (cont'd)
Mow move it, move it!!!

Without looking back, the Brat scrambles to his feet and runs for dear life toward the school building.

30

TACKLEBERRY

walks calmly over to the Mom who is wide-eyed with fear.

MOM IH MERCEDES
(dazed)
Thank you, Officer.

Tackleberry touches the hrim of his hat and smiles pleasantly.

TACKLEBERRY
Ho problem, ma'am.
31

I KT.FAST-FOOD RESTAURAHT AT MALL - MOMENTS LATER

Officer LARVEL JOKES sits alone, amusing himself with a noise. A young COUPLE on a date enter and sit at a tiny table beside Jones. They are very smug, very preppy, trying hard to impress each other.

PREPPY GUY
It's no better than television.
PREPPY GIRL
I wouldn't know. I never watch television.
PREPPY GUY
Personally, I don't even~ a television.

The Guy bites into a potato chip. Jones makes the sound of a loud crunch. The Gi?l seems a Ii ttle shocked. The Guy smiles to cover his mild embarrassment.

The Guy eats another chip. Jones makes louder munching noises. The Girl covers her eyes, ashamed to be seen JJith thisguy. She picks up her sandwich and taltesa bite. Jones makes horrible chomping sounds. The Guy and Girl both look at each other accusingly. Jones nonchalantly sips his Coke.

(COHTIMUED)

31 GOl!T!!WED:

llo\~th~Girl taIle5another hite. This tiincJonos s,,:iJws horr i bln1nunching,sin«c;kingn~isr,-s.TheGuy lt«shilcl enough.

I'F.E!TYGU"f <conl.inui1,g, s;ircastic:dly) Hun,n v,lH :uwe?

TheGuy picl:sup his coffee nncltake!:.:::.sip.Jonos r-,nl:~svulgarslurpingsounds, 1rnnctua-!.eclh,«belch. The PrPppyGirl is reo!lifled.

rP."F:PFYGIf.L (nearly l1yslcrical) F"orGod':-:.s:ilrn.11ich.illl!J11sl t~l:PP.~hont.:i.rleci~•e.

She fights hacl:te,i?:s,co•:c·ringhr:r11011thwit.h herU~p}~j)\• ShQ fr<,>;:>?~~~~sJotH~f•tt~J:~sf.h~-:;c;!ndcldis~ustiJJun.C'l~f:> blo~i11g. . .

32

EXT. DASEP!\LLFIELD ··DA1

A 51l~jQrlt?,~9l.H?pilch~~.tonth~rio\~rHl,q2ttiacrre~dyto

26

-,ILCH.

33 B!\Ii!':R 33

U[FlCER DOUG FI\Cl:!.Fl\01:llu~fh,Jc!,!!ll"Tc!in!:lh;,clugoul. B,,hi1dhim ca the top step oi the clugoutis an old tobacco..clribblinP,f!l:-:n:=tg~r.F~cl~~erj~;r~~JJrintothe ga:':"r-.H~grip~his polic.:-buto111iJ:s-ah~t,r~i!i~5jt...

rITCIIF.I\

Bl\T'rr::n

Fl\Cl:LER

ii~pE':rf~clunis~ns~:~•1tr~:th~~l,atonsr1;1c:Jiir~~thf>::t~~;;~ti~"r in th2 lo!·ehCJ~Hl~r!d}inc'.'c~i•,:,ht~t·«c~~:-~~t(:i?!tulhP fll,'J?Ut.

LL

37 F.XT.CITY STRf.F.T-DAY

Several c"'rsare parnll~I p::orMod.An EXECUTIVE, a fat- f~c:ecl,g(:oil-ol'-boy··l}·pc,return:,t0hi!;Lin-:olnandis il·!icdtofind "'11::orJ:ingticl:et.I[(?c01~rl:iinstotheguy will,him, a bla~d junior cKnc1,tivei11R s11it.

f.XfCI.IT!VE A,~. ~1h;1.ttl,,:,hclli!<t.iti!:?

He sn'ttch~sthe ticl:c!:offtlL,~Hilltlshielc!andlooJ.:s1tptt, SN} a 1101ic:o11'.-p<lrlrr.-~alj iln0ypr.rlir-d,,c:onrleoIc,us ah~«tl.,

r-:xr-:cwnVE (continuing) (;ivcthcsc !lit'tr,!°i,,iicl~ahat!geand tlH!}'thin1:th,r01m ti,£?s-::rccts. (c:alli1~!:to thP.jitnc:r> f1C?y,s1::,,!!i:J!c,.;1rt.M~itup.

He cntcJl~~l!p!Jlt:hth!'jtlJtc-~·•r()!"-~on·t~u:~lopt.:ithhis J;rn,:.:J~le!-.

EX£CIJT1Vt <C(>')l1n'.!.l1~u) E~C:ll';l•r.~...~h"."nr,r.11:!ilrt~;tot:ilJ~ ~o J''?".t;.:]H~'.ttl.}d•;ticl:•-:-f..

The guy 1~:1tc!:<::sinar.:;:i::cnent~,u~·FICEittc•~J::!11Gl\T!l!·,f:!t gets o:.itoflitejit.11;,y,u:ifo)r1i11ghis!::1~,:;,fr~c1;,, to,~crihgo•:ei:the!:::-:ecutiv<?.

F.}'.f.CUTlVF.

ve1y nice) r tta~jt1sl~()l\~~ring...,~1,... (!.~!~:i1n,OH!..his!JttJ},:t.) ... is it custor·.".1ytoti!'or~•h::t7

27

EXT. :;LNM\'BET\C!L

We F.:~T,VJT.ISHtbr;,br>ach,SM'!?I:alr•r;,opl<"s1111l,:athil!g,ki~1s thrc~JingF1i~l.-~c!:',mar!ypretty~irl::,.Ere,:,thec1i5l.;,1i<:"' we can hc-:lrlotulRO~~:rru~:1c~r,,:i,h~r•s"U;--ntucl~i:tS!r.!iyh P.b:le•'bytheqroup ..,1<'t•nt~!n.·•l•.~Htnc!J,.:~...

C!ITTO:

39 (1!"fICf::1.1.C!\P.EY~~/\!W!IE:'f

Th,~sourc~ of ♦-!intr.u!:i~:,hflh\n~1tt:~t!hc~lofasoHp~d..ur f1unebuy~I;"1-1ldchj!;l~~ii~•lc<1nfJj,;l~tlh!~-::J:~ndr.ddtf.'!ii~~ ,.r0]ic~cnr.

1'-1.

COlfl'lllUED:

'!hoGl\tl~:Rllt!OVESNITHthebuggyas Mahone;•guir!esit he- t1,1eensunhathe1·s.J!gis I(iCH(;dbad,,enjoying tlrns111i, w~aring wlial'sleft of liispolice unifor~: tliepants cut off short, the slr.oucsgo11eC<•rr.pletc:d}•-llothingisl(.>ft of his police hat but the visor. 1·J~honeyopensthe flap of liisholster and tal:asout a bottle of sunblock. fin s~n~rs ~o"@ on his nose. He's into thn MU~l(;,obuiou5!F l01•e5the job.

I\ImTHF.RI\HGI.E

As he stops thP bug~y beside a young couple Ji~uliig~ picnic. 'fhe1•haH!so~e l•ottlcd)l(,<'lsin.in iceche:;t.

M:'\11011£Y Iii,foll',~.Sorry, no glass bottles alloi:erlonthe bf!ach.

IHthout getting of Ithe hui:~ylieho Ielsouthis h:rncl. ih~ young HOJr.<lnh:indshim;_}i;--l~tt.-:h~'~!:;llF~t~1eleit.

Cflrl~RI\.F0LLOl!S.tsl1;.tl1on1q·t!1ivesafe!~feetdownthe b~:,ch. IIP.1~~{:lt0sfor~h~t.tlr.~~~.:-~n~rOl~~~trjngaround )11snccJ.:,pops-op~llai:':!l?Ianc1!itarlstochugit. fle stors wlu~~,hes-=-<->s--

T!IRF.F.llF.JUJTl FU!.'iOU!IGCil!tl.S

lying on th•:iir!lto1lad,~,'.;llnbathin9,their!Ji.!,ir:iloj1S untied.

l-:ithou~stC'ppin~,pich~;up~ RHLl.lfOR}i<'11H1poi~~ts;:;tl~J~.-:> ~Jirl~. lt ;·.:~J:~sa!.tH~DL:LFc.;T!H'~qt:rELf!~~Gnoise.

GlRLS

~re :.ost.c,rtl~dth,t.U1~r~it u9, givinq r1~h~ne\'unic~ vie~!of lh-?irhre~5~.~.

I,1\llO!IF.Y

HIS POV -JE'EP 45

ROARING down the beach, dangerously fast. In the Jeep are three big,muscular JERKS, the kind of assholes who insist on playing tackle football right in the middle of a Cub Scout weenie roast.

VARIOUS AHGLES 46

As the Jeep swerves down the beach, causing panic among the sunbathers.

47 FI\TIIERAND SOIi 47

are just putting the finishing touches on a fancy sand- castle. They both leap out of the u::iy.isthP.Jeep smashes tho s.indcastle.

IJ8 JERKS IM JEEP 48

laugh and whoop it up.

49

MAJIOIIEY

blocks their Jeep with his dune buggy.

l1AHONEY lley,get that Jeep of£ the beach bP.foreyou hurt somebody.

l'lahoneywishesho hadn"t said the part about hurting somebody because the BIGGEST JERI<gets out of the Jeep and strides toward hirn.

BIGGEST JERK
Whatcha ~onna do about it, dipshit?
MAHOIIEY
Dipshit• Fer your sake, I"m gonna pretend I didn't haar that.

Without anothor word, the Biggest Jori<reaches out and rir5 M;,honey•~b~dgc oll his shirt. He bends the ha.doc betwecn his thumb and forefingE>r.

11AHOHEY (continuinq) You're l\1ckyh~c~,1~0J•rnl)oingto prct~nil1 •1•·•--·•·-.··

<COJITUIUED)

IJ9 COlfTlMUED: 49

BIGGEST JERK
What about this?

The Biggest Jerk takes Mahoney's PR-2~ baton and cracks it over hiskneo.

M/1.HOKEY (bravely) Okay. You asked for it. You're under arrest.

Mahoney takes out his handcuffs. The Biggest Jerk tak~s them and stretches them as hard as he can. The cu£ fs snap in two. The other tl~oother jerl{sget out of the Jeep and join their friend.

MMIOl{EY (continuing; appearing to bacl;down) Gee, you guys are so strong and ..• oily. You must spond a lot of time giving each other lube jobs. Of course, that's not surprising. (climbs baclrinto the duno buggy) Imean, it's true what people say, right? That all you muscle guys are gay?

BIGGEST JERK
Kill him!

Mahoney taltesoff as fast as he can. The Jerks leap into the Jeep and take off after him in hot pursuit.

MIDDLE-AGED MAK

buried in sand up to his neck, looks up in horror to see the dune buggy bearing down on him, fast. Jt straddles him, the wheels passing by on either side. The man screams, looks around just in tine to see the Jeep. The Jeep straddles him, too. •

so DUHE BUGGY 50

gathers speed, racing along the beach, right at the water"s edge. The JEEP ROARS up alongside. They• re trying to force Mahoney into the water. Mahoney looks up to see ...

51 ROCK JE'f"TY 51

stretch(ng across the beJtch,dead ahead .

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/8!i 17.

52

JEEP AND DUNE BUGGY

head straight for the jetty. But the Jerks have their eyes on Mahoney and don't see it.

53

MAHONEY

reaches for a FIRE EXTINGUISHER which is mounted to the dune buggy. He aims it at the Jerks and FIRES a BLAST of white foam.

JERKS IN JEEP

are temporarily blinded by the foam.

55

MAHONEY

throws the dune buggy in a power slide and it spins around, just short of the rock jetty.

56

JEEP

can't stop in time. It slams into the jetty and rockets into the air.

57

ANGLE - JEEP

As it soars through the air, the Jerks screaming, hanging on for dear life.

58

GARBAGE SCOI~

is motoring out of the channel, just on the other side of the jetty. The JEEP CRASH lands on the deck which is piled high with garbage.

59

JERKS

dazed but unhurt are sitting there like idiots, completely covered with garbage.

60

GARBAGE SCOW

BLOl~Sits HORN and CHUGS out to sea, taking the Jeep with it.

on the shore, waves goodbye.

ttpQLICEACADEMY IIft- Rev. 10/l0/8q 18.

63

EXT. BAD NEIGHBORHOOD IN CITY - DAY

Commandant Eric Lassard's van moves down a narrow street. Tha neighborhood looks dangerous. The scene is under- scored by scary tension MUSIC, the kind of stacatto scora often heard on TV cop shows.

61t SEVERAL ANGLES

of people from the neighborhood as they glare at the van. The 11USICCOHTllWES.

65 lHT. VAK 65

Our officers are looking out the windows. We PULL BACK to reveal Jones making all the tension music himself. Mahoney gives Jones a look. Tackleberry looks out the ~ window. He loves what he soos. ~

TACK LEBER RY
(to himself)
EKcellent, excellent.
ERIC LASSARD
You're all very, very fortunate. This is one of the most exciting precincts in the city.

Somebody throws some rotten fruit at the van.

HOOKS
I don't thin!!they liltepolice officers.
ERIC LASSARD
Oh, there might be some resentment at first.
66

THEIR POV - SIDEHALK

As they stop at a red light, a LITTLE KID, about six, hanging on to his 1nother•shand, ,;houL.sani11.sult"-t them.

LITTLE KID
Hey, cops. I got something for you.

The Kid grabs his crotch.

ERIC LASSI\RD But I'm sure you'11 win them over,

"POLICE ACADEMY ll" - Rev. 10/23/8~ 19.

67

SMALL 1111H-BUS

pulls alongside. On the side is painted, "SENIOR ClTlZEKS RESOURCES SERVICES." All the old people inside are yelling insults and making suggestive gestures. Some are oinking like pigs.

thru thru

71

I KT.PETE LASSARD'S OFFICE - DAY

Captain Pete Lassard is addressing the new officers. Mahoney is still wearing his cutaway uniform from the beach. Lassard is trying hard to be friendly and fatherly.

PETE LASSARD
Gentlemen, today the 16th precinct welcomes some new faces. My brother tells me that they're some of the finest recruits ever to be graduated from the police academy. The 16th precinct serves and protects what was once a great neighborhood. Mow there's viscious gangs that moved in and they've been taking over. We don't know why they're here or where they came from. What we do kno~1is that they're scum and our job is to find them and stop them. These new recruits have been trained in the latest techniques of urban law enforcement. Any of you have any special skills that we should now about?
TACKLEBERRY
I know how to perform an emergency tracheoto~y with a steah knife, sir.

Lassard eyes him warily.

72

OUTSID~ OFFICE - SAME TIME

Mauser is watching Lassard and the others through the glass office wall. Sergeant Carl Proctor walks up. Proctor is a supercilious little snit, the only guy at the precinct who is friendly with Mauser.

(COKTIIWF:D)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/23/8~ 20.

MAUSER
<sarcastically> So these new recruits are gonna save the precinct, huh?
PROCTOR
Personally, Lieutenant, I hope they fall flat on their cans.

Mauser (under his breath) That could be arranged, you know.

PROCTOR
Speak.
MAUSER
If these new guys fail, Lassard's out. That makes me captain.
PROCTOR
And •.•
MAUSER
I'm gonna need somebody to be the new watch commander.
PROCTOR
Somebody who's loyal.
MAUSER
Somebody who'll make sure they fail.

They eKchange conspiratorial smiles.

"POLICE ACADEMY 11n - Rev. 10/10/8~ 2 1 •

73 BACK TO LASSARD'S OFFl CE- COHTIKUOUS ACTIOH 73

Lassard is proudly wrapping up his talk.

PETE LASSARD
I want this to be the best damn crime suppression unit in the city. I want us to stand proud and walk tall. But more than anything else, I want us to be a family.
(he walks by Tackleberry, Fackler Jones and Mahoney)
With a bunch of brothers .••
(as he walks by hooks, he chucks her chin)
. • •asister .•.

Lassard puts his hands on Hightower's shoulders. He's proud to have the big man on board.

PETE LASSARD
(continuing)
And one big mother.

Hightower smiles sheepishly.

PF.YE:LASSI\RD (continuing) Well, good luck, everybody. Report :I: to the squad room where Lieutenant z Mauser will give you your assignments.

They begin to file out. Mahoney lingers. He trie3 to get Lassartl'sattention.

MJ\IIONEY Excuse me, sir. It's me ...Mahoney.

PETE LJ\SSARD Yes, Mahoney.

MAHOHEY
We're a family, right?
PETE LASSARD
That's right.
MAHOIIEY
Well, I've got a problem, Dad. I left a very important job back at the beach and l'd like to get back th~re as soon as ...

<CONTIIWED}

0POLICE ACADEMY 11" - Rev. 10/23/84

73

CONTIMUED:

PETE LASSARD
( firmly} You're not going back to the beach until you've cleaned up this neighborhood.
MAHONEY
( protesting} Dad...!
PETE LASSARD
And another thing. Get yourself a proper uniform.
MAHONEY
God, you're mean. No wonder Mom fools around.
PETE LASSARD
Out.
74

IMT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

Mauser is addressing the new officers. Also present are several old cops, including Dooley and SISTRUNK. Mahoney is missing.

MAUSER
Notwithstanding the touching speech that Captain Lassard gave moments ago, you people are not real police officers, you're rookies and I am your watch commander. When you screw up .••and you will screw up .•• I'll be there to write up a report. Three bad reports and you're suspended.
( to Hooks} What's your name?
HOOKS
(meekly} Hooks, sir.
MAUSER
May I see your service revolver, ,. Hooks? 11am

She hands it to him. He looks in thechamber.

MAUSER
(continuing)
There's no round in thechamber. CCOIITIHUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY rrn - Rev. 10/23/84 23.

71! COKTIKUED:

HOOKS
(weakly apologizing)
I was afraid it might •••go off.
MAUSER
That's one, Hooks. You're on report.
(makes a note of it)
See how it works? This squad deploys each day at ten hundred hours.

He holds up his wrist ~IATCH. Right on cue, it BEEPS a rendition of YAKKEE DOODLE.

MAUSER
<continuing) Precisely ten hundred hours. Since you people are rookies, each of you will be assigned to a veteran officer who will•••

Mauser is interrupted as Jones makes the sound of the watch beeping. Mauser pushes the button again. Jon<ls stops.

PROCTOR
Okay••• assignments. Mahoney?
HIGHTOWER
He's not here, sir. He had to get •.•
MAUSER
Fine.

Making a note of it.

PROCTOR
That's one for Mahoney. Fackler, you'll ride with Officer Dooley.
FACKLER
(responds> 'les,sir.

Fackler looks at Dooley who waves to him and smiles,

MAUSF,R Tackleberry, you're trained for motorcycle duty?

(CONTIHUED>

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/23/SIJ 21!.

71J

CONTIHUED: <2>

TACKLEBERRY
Yes, sir, sir!
MAUSER
You've got it. Take this to supply and join Officer Kirkland in motor pool.
TACKLEBERRY
(trembling with eKcitement)
Thank you, sir!
MAUSER
Hightower, you've got foot patrol.
(to Proctor)
Okay, who else .•.?

Jones makes the beeping sound again. This timeMauser snaps around and catches him in the act. Mauser is not amused.

MAUSER
<continuing) And who might you be?
JONES
<in a Swedish accent> Doctor Monsignor Larvell Jones ... <saluting sharply} Swedish Intelligence.
MAUSER
(sarcastically} I see. Well, Monsignor, you'll be riding with Officer Sistrunk. He just lovesrookies -- especially Swedes.

SISTRUNK

smirks at Jones. He's a pot-bellied tobacco-chewing bigot. He spits.

MAUSER AND JONES

MAUSER
Enjoy.
JOKES
Ruh-roh.

(CONl'IKUED>

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/23/8~

71/B CONTINUED: (Al>

MAUSER
Okay, that's it.
HOOKS
What about ~e, sir• Don't I get a car?

(CONTIIWED)

"POLICE ACADEMY 11" - Rev. 10/10/SIJ 25.

MAUSER
(mocking hor voice)
No, you don't get a car. You get a nice little desk with a nice little chair.

He turns to walk away. Hooks mutters to herself.

HOOKS
(under her breath)
Asshole.

Mauser spins around.

MAUSER
That• stwo, Hool!s.
75

IKT. UIUFORM SHOP IN NEIGHBORHOOD -DAY

Mahoney is in linewith three or four othermale customers, waiting to be fitted. CHLOE DANIELS, the bright, attractive young woman who owns the shop, is measuring the men. She calls out measurements to her assistant.

CHLOE
Chest IJ2.•••waist36.

She matter-of-factly jams the tape against the guy's crotch.

CHOLE
< continuing) Inseam31J. Next.
76

MAHONEY

waiting his turn, notices a little kid, about three or four, left unattAnded in a stroller while his mother shops. The child plays with one of those balloon animals. Mahoney bends down to the kid and says nicely

11AHOMEY Hi •. ,what's that -- a giraffe? Can I see him for a minute?

77

BACK TOCHLOE

Who has just finished measuring another custo~er.

<COMTllWED>

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/84 26.

48

··...

CHOLE
Hext.

Mahoney steps up to be measured. Chloe looks up to see an enormous bulge in his pants; it stretches nearly to his knee.

78

ANGLE OM MAHONEY

Who grins. Chloe is unimpressed. This isn't the first smart ass she's encountered. She goes about her job.

CHLOE <cont'd) Chest ~2... waist 33 ••.inseam ...

rlAHO!fEY Please ...be gentle.

~ithout warning, Chloe takes out a straight pin and pricks Mahoney"s bulge. The puncture BALLOON rockets out of his pants and flies across the room with a pathetic SQUEAKING sound.

79

EXT. PRECINCT PARKING LOT - DAY

Dooley and Fackler get into a black and white,

80

INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS ACTION AO

DOOLEY
(cheerfully> Ready, son? (as Fackler nods} Okay. Let's roll.
81

EXT. CAR - CONTINUOUS ACTION

Dooley turns on the flashing red lights and PEELS OUT of the parking lot.

82

EXT. DOUGHNUT SHOP CORNER - DAY

As the squad CAR SQUEALS around the corner and stops with a SCREECH of TIRES directly in iront of a doughnut shop. Dooley and Fackler get out.

"POLICEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/811 27.

83

EXT. PRECINCT PARKING LOT/INT. SISTRUNK'S CAR - DAY

Jones and Sistrunk are sitting in the parking lot.

SISTRUNK
Jones, I got you figured !or a smart ass. I've never taken any shit from you people and I'm not gonna start now. You don't think, you don't talk, you don't breathe unless I tell you to. You understand?

Jones holds his breath, nods, appears scared.

SlSTRUKK (continuing) That's good. We're gonna get along fine.

They start to pull out of the parking lot. Jones turns a"Wayand maltesthe sound of a flat tire thumping,

SISTRUNK
<continuing) You hear that?

Jones shakes his head innocently, still holding his breath. After a beat, Jones makos the sound again.

SISTRUHK
(continuing)
Goddamit. We got a flat.
(stopping the car)
Check your side.
55

EXT. CAR - COHTIKUOUS ACTIOH

Sistrunk and Jones look at the tires, then each other.

SISTRUNK (cont'd)
Mine are okay. Yours?
JOMES
(in a high voice, llkG hQ's on helium> Fine.
SISTRUNK
(perpleHed)
I • 11bea son-of-a-bitch.

They get back in and start away. We HOLD 01{a LONG SllOT as we h~ar Jones begin the FLAT TIRE sound again.

"POLICE ACADEMY 11° - Rev. 10/10/84 28. •

85

EXT. PRECINCT PARKING LOT - SAME TIME

Tackleherry approaches his partner, OFFICER KIRKLAHD, who is by a motorcycle wearing a leather jacket and helmet.

TAGKLEBERR'l Officer Tackleherry reporting for duty, sir!

Officer Kirkland removes her helmet and shakes her blonde hair.

KIRKLAIID
Officer Kirkland. I'd appreciate your not calling me sir.

Tackleberry•s jaw drops as though ho's seen a ghost.

TACKLEBERRY
.Yas. ~a 1 am,sir.
KIRKLAND
I take it you don't like your assignment. Is it because I'111a woman?
TACKLEBERRY
I decline to answer that question .•. out of respect for your gender.
KIRKLAND
I'll take care of myself, you just cover your own ass.

She leans over the motorcycle to turn on the gas switch.

TACKLEBERRY
Nice piece.

She straightens up, turns around and glares.

TACKLEBERRY
(continuing; sincerely)
I was referring to your sidearm.

KIRI\LAttD <softening somewhat) Oh.

TACKLEBERRY
Nay I~
KIRKLAND
Sure.

(CONTINUF.D)

"POLICE ACADE~Y II" -Rev. 10/10/84 29.

85

COHTI){UED:

She hands him the huge revolver, butt first.

KIRKLAND
(continuing)
It's a Colt .357 magnum.
TACKLEBERRY
What kind of loads?
KIRKLAND
Hundred-and-forty-eight grain hollow-base wad cutters.
TACKLEBERRY
Sensible weapon.

He takes out his own giant pistoland hands it to her.

TACKLEBERRY
(continuing)
I prefer the 111<-Four Auto I oader with full-power steal-jacketed hardball rounds. Primarly for the knock-down capability. On the other hand •.. ifyou want penetration ...

Tackleberry stops, ernbarrass~dat what he's said.

KIRKLAMD
(quickly)
You know, the .357will crack the engine block ofa truck.
TACKLEBERRY
l can see where thatwould be useful.

He studies Kirltland. He's never met awoman like her before.

86

IHT. DOUGHNUT SHOP -DAY

Faclllerand Dooley are h;ivingcoffee. Dooley chews on a doughnut. Behind them,THROUGH the window, we can see a big mean black GANG MEMBER dousing g~soline on a car.

DOOLEY
Th9 neighborhood's not so bad. Xou know thn secret to bning a good cop? GQt to know the people.

<COMTIMUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY Ilq - Rev. 10/23/8~ 29A.

86

CONTIHUED:

,.... The Gang tle111berenterstheshop.

• GANG MEMBER (to Fackler) Yo, man... you got a match?

FACKLER
Sure.
(handing him matches)
Keep the pack.

The Gang Member eKits.

DOOLEY
That's the idea son. You have to build a trust with people. Then they'll respect you.
(to the man behind the counter)
Hey, Joe. Couple o' more tube cakes here.

Behind them, the CAR EXPLODES in a ball of fire. Dooley doesn't notice. Fackler looks back vaguely and returns to his coffee.

30. '.:

61

-.

Mauser is looking ina mirror, flossing his teeth . Mahoney enters.

MAIIOHE'l ElCcuseme, sir.

Mauser is startled. He spins around. The dental floss is stuck between his teeth. The floss container dangles fromhis mouth. Mahoney breal<sit off.

MAHOHEY
<continuing) Officer Mahoney reporting for duty.
MAUSER
(overly friendly)
Well, heIlo, tlahoney. Nice of you to drop by. Ue missed you earlier.

MAHO}IEY Had to get a uniform, sir.

MAUSER
Good, good. We can't face the pub! icnalted.

MAIIOllEY That•s right. I r.1ean,wherewould we hang our handcuffs?

Mauser 1aughs and Mahoney joins in. They already despise each other.

MAUSER
That's cute. I like a rookie with a sense of humor.

111>.IIONEY I like you, too, sir. I admire a guy who isn't ashamed to floss. You know, sir, oral hygiirneis something th:1ttoo many bi!f-citycops overlool{. If Barnaby Jones had just flossed a Ii ttlemore often, I bet h~'d still be on the air today.

MAUSER
Oh, yo,1like hygieno? Good.
(handing hi1:1:Ill «5signrnt?tltshl::.~t} Yo\1~urrh1.--~1:"'.....,.....,,"f'Wr,:-:rtn~r. You'1e ,..,,,.,.' ,:•,·•!Jwith Officer·'~i;~i~SchtuJn~~~

"POLICE ACADEMY II~ - Rev. 10/10/84 31.

88

EXT. RUM-DOI~}{HOUSEIH CLTY - MORLFING

Mahoney, in uniform, ~•alksup the steps and rings the bell. He notices a bunch of Mad Maqa~ine stickers glued to the door. From inside, we hear the voice of Officer Vinnie Schtulman.

SCI!TULtlAH• SVO ICE Who is it?

MAHONEY
It's Carey Mahoney .••your new partner.
SCHTULMAH'S VOICE
Come on in.

Mahoney opens the door ••.

89

INT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS ACTION

He steps into the room which is incredibly messy. Tl~ decor includes a large print of a bunch of dogs playing poker, plastic swords, posters of monsters and the Three Stooge5. Mahoney look~ around warily as Schtulman calls to him from the bathroom.

SCHTULMAK'S VOICE
Be out in a minuto. You want some breakfast?

Mahoney looks at the kitchen area. Dishes and pots lio everywhere, covered with refuse from three-week-old moals. A big yellow cat is scratching in a bowl of Riea Krispies.

MAHONEY
Ho, thanks. I'm not really hungry. I '11havP.something later.
(under his breath)
A tetanus shot, maybe.

We hear a TOILET FLUSH and SHTULt!AMcomes out, tucking his shirt in, tugging up his trousers. He shakos Mahoney's hand.

SCHTULMI\H How you doin'? Vinnie Schtulman. Okay if l eat real quick?

MAHONEY
Please ..•go ahaad. Enjoy.

(COHTIKUED>

"POLICEACADEMY IIn - Rev. 10/10/8~ 32.

Schtulman picks up the bowl of Rice Krispies the cat was playingwith and sits at a plastic dinette. He pours in somemilk.

SCHTUUlAN Next to lunch and dinner, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

He digs into the cereal, starts to take a bite, then sees something which angers him. He yells at the cat.

SCIITULl1AH <continuing) Aw, jeeze, Bunkey!

Schtulman flips something out of the bowl with his spoon.

SCflTULtll\H <continuing) How many times have I gotta tell ya?

He wipes off the spoon, takes a big bite, smiles and speaks to Mahoney with his mouth full.

SCHTULMAH
(continuing)
Sure you don't want any?
90

EXT. SCHTULMAN'S BACK YARD - 111HUFESLATER

Schtulman leads Mahoney down the back steps and into the junk-covered yard.

SCHTULMAM (cont'd)
It's gonna be great havin' a new partner. I just hope Lou"s not jealous.
MAHONEY
Lou ..• ?
65

SCIITULMAN

My regular partner. Come on and meet him.

IJ1 A POLICE DOG 91

A big slovenly mutt that looks like Schtulman•s canine counterpart, casually licking his private parts. He looks up when he hears Schtulmallcall.

"POLICE ACADEMY II" -Rev. 10/10/811 33-35.

91 COllTIHUED: 91

SCHTULMAll <cont'd) Here, Lou! Come on, boy.

Lou looks up happily, then continues lickinghims~lf.

l'IAHOKEY If I could do that, l'd never leave home,

Schtulman opens the gate. LOU bounds out excitedly. BARKING and jumpingon Mahoney likoan unmannorly puppy. He licks rlahoney"s face.

SCHTULMAH
Hey, you're lucky. Ho likesyou.

92 OMITTED 92 :t thru thru 94 94 :t

95

EXT. CITY STREET -LATER THAT DAY

Schtulman's K-9 truck drivP.sdown the street. •

96

!NT.K-9 TRUCK -CONTINUOUS ACTION

Lou the dog sits on the seat between Mahoney and Schtulman, who is driving. It's crowded. LOU scratches his ear vigorously, PANTS loudly right in Mahoney's face. The dog breath and the BO from Schhd man are a1most more than Mahoney can take. He cracks a window.

MAHONEY
Kinda crowded up here.

SCHTULtlAN Yeah, but you don't want to ride in the back. That's where Lou does his doodies.

They stop at a red light. Mauser pulls up in his watch commander's car.

96

COHTIKUED:

MAUSER
Enjoying yourself, Mahoney?

LOU GROWLS. Mauser pulls away.

96A

EXT. SIDEWALK IM HEIGHBOR!IOOJ)-KID - DAY 9611.

about nine or ten years old, is walking along with a footba 11 •Two GAllGl'IEl'IBERSwalkup.Gang l'lemberii1 snatches the football.

KID
Hey! Girnmiethat.

The Gang Members play keep-away with the ball, tossing it back and forth, just out of the Kid's reach. Gang l'lember ff2misses a toss and we FOLLOW

96B

FOOTBALL

as it rolls to a stop. A giant hand picks it up.

96C

ANGLE TO REVEAL - HIGHTOWER

As he picks up the ball.

96D GANG l'IEMBERt1 96D

gestures to Hightower.

GANG l'lEt!BERt1 Hey, cop, over horo.

<J6E HIGHTOl~ER 96[

throws the ball hard, real hard.

96F

GANG MEMBER 11

As the ball hits him in the mids~ction, knocking him straight back and through the plate-glass ~1indowof an abandoned storo. The ball comP.sbt>\mcingout. The Kid runs in and gr abs it. lielooks in ama.:ementat --

96G II IGIITOJo!f.R

1o1hosmiles.

37. *

96H

EXT. SIDEWALK -DAY

l'lahoneyandSc:htulmanwa Ika longa ro1~of shops. Schtulman picltsup something he fi11dsona busstop bench.

SCHTULl1AM Hey, 1oollat this. A Baby Ru th. And it ain't even been touched. (he opens the wrapper) Ho wonder. It's got ants all over it. <he brushes itoff and takes a bite) Wanna bite?

MAHONEY
No, thanks. What made you become a cop, Schtulman?
SCHTULMAH
!1ymother. She thought l lool:ed good in the unifo1m.
MAHOIIEY
l'd like to meet yo11rmother sometimo,

SCHTUl,MI\H {as he tal:esa last bite of the Baby Ruth) }law, you wouldn't. She's a pig. Ot,J •••

An anthas stung Schtulrnanon ti~ inside of his lip. Ho picks it out.

96-1 EXT. ALLEY NEAR LIGHTIHG STORE - SAME TIME 96-I

Four GANG MEMBERS are standing around, plotting a holdup.

GANG r1Er1BER~3 Come 011,man. 'l'.ougonnado it7

GAIIGMEMBER iiS Yeah. I'm gonna do it.

GANG !'!EUBERit~ (handing him a big pistol) WP.11,.!'l.<lit,man.

Gang Member t6 takns the pistol, sticks it in his hElt.

"POLICE ACADEMY I I"- Rev. 10/10/Stt 38.

96J

INT. NEARBY STORE - SAME TIME

This is the lighting fixture store we saw in the opening. The Merchant we met before is finishing up a sale to his ~ only customer, a young mother.

MERCHANT
Your change comes to 27 cents.
(hands her the coins)
Enjoy your bulb.

The mother exits. THROUGH the window we see her walking in one direction. She stops and starts running in the other direction. We see why as Gang Members iS and i6 enter. The Merchant looks up.

MERCHANT
(continuing> What do you want?

Gang Member ~6 whips out a wicked-looking .45 auto~atic and points it at the Merchant who immediately throws up his hands.

GANG MEMBER 116
Open the safe.
96K

EXT. STREET OU TSIDESIIOP- COHTIRUOUS ACTI 011 961<

Mahoney, Schtulm.inand Lou are 1,1alkingpast theshop window.

SCHTULMAN
You know what was delicious? Fizzles. Why don't they make •em anyh1ore? You rernem•••
MAHONEY
Shhh!

Mahoney hns spotted the holdup. He quickly ducks out of sight. Schtulman is confused.

SCHTULMAH
What's up?
MAIIOKEY
(into his radio)
Unit 11-15. i-Je'vegota 211 in progress at 302 Caroline Street. Ple~se advise.
96L

!HT. DISPATCHER'S ROOM AT PRECINCT - SAME TIME

Hooks has taken the call. Proctor is standing over her.

HOOKS
Ten-four. Stand by, 11-15. M-1, did you read that?

9611 !HT. WATCH COMHAIIDER'SCAR - COl!TUIUOUSACTION 9611

tlAUSER (into his radio) Ten-four. (with a wicked smile) Tell them to move in.

96ll IKT. DISPATCHE:R•SROOM AT PRECINCT - COHTillUOUSACT!ON 9611

HOO!<S Shouldn't they wait for a backup?

Proctor takes the microphone away fro~ her and spQaks into it himself.

PROCTOR
Move in, M-15.

96-0 EXT. SHOP 96-o

MAHOHEY
(into radio> Ten-£our. ( to Schtul man)
We're going in.

SCHTULl'IAM We are?

Mahoney flattens against the wall and starts inching toward the door. Schtutman follows suit.

96P lllT.SHOP 96P

Merchant has just opened his safP, Gang l'lembert6takes the cash.

GJ\llGMEMBERt6 (furious) Six dollars?

MERCHAMT
Business has bePn slow.

(COJ{TIHUED)

l/0 • •

96P

COHTHIUED:

Gang Member t6 looks zead11to kill tho guy. Suddenly he sees Schtulman peering around the corner through the frontwindow.

GAltG MEtlBERfl6 Shit! (he presses the pistol at the Merchant's head) Get do~m. Stay down or you're dead.

TheMerchant obeys, crouching behind the counter. Gang Membezs #5 and ff6make a breallfor it, running for the rear exit.

96Q

EXT. SHOP

Schtulman and rlahoneyhaven't seen them escape. They draw thP.irservice revolvors.

MAIIOJIEY
Let's go.

They burst in .•.

96R

IHT. SHOP - COHTIHUOUS ACTIOH

As they point their revolvers. Ho one is in sight.

96S

EXT. ALLEY BEHIJ(DSTORE - SAME TIME

Gang Members #5 and 16 sneak out the back door and run down the a11oy with Gang r!P.mbers13and 1111.

96T

INT. STORE

Mahoney and Schtulman are creeping througl1 themaze of hanging lamps. It•s very eerie. They•re on ~dge.

96U

MERCHAJIT

cowers under the counter, afraid to move.

96V

ALLEY BEHIMD STORE

Fackler•~ t:~•r!•~,t•.,,. -.,·.!!!~~!l1stotheback door, fumblii.,i,,,;:l:...... .L·.i.!:t•j•taHatc:.~:csadeep breath and step~ inside.

thru thru l 17 117

118

BACK INSIDE STORE

Schtulman pushes through the tang leof swag lamps. lie ~ees a man with a gun! It's Schtulman's own reflection ln a mirror. Too late. Schtulman FIRES, SIIJ\TTERlt:Gthe MIRROR, and at that instant we --

GUT TO:
119

FACKLER

near the back of the store. The gunshot stnrtles him so badly that he squeeaes the trigger o{ the sawed-off SHOT- GU}I. It ROARS lIke a cannon, dropping a I ineof chandeliers behind them.

120

SCHTULMAN AND MAHONEY

leap for cover, convinced the armed robber has shot at them. They open up with the service REVOLVERS, FIRING REPEATEDLY, SMASHING GLASS with every SIIOT.

121

FACKLER

returns FIRE through the maze, BLASTIRG LAMPS in every direction.

122 OMITTED 1?.l

123 SCHTULl1AHAND MAHOHE'i 123

STOP FIRING for a moment. They stalk Fackler through the jungle of lamps. Tension builds.

123B

SCIITULMAHARD MAHONEY

take a few steps backward and trip over Fackl~r. Their GUMS FI RE. l~ehear someone RETUR:UNG tl1eirSHOTS.

42. :t.

TACKLEBERRY AND KIRKLAND 124

Tackle berryOPENS FIRE with his .IJ5autoloader. It goes off like a small howitzer. Then Kirkland FlRES a long, ear-shattering BURS'Ifrom an Uzi SUBtlACHINEGUN, MOWI}IG DOWN practically all the LAMPS that are left.

125

EVERYBODY ELSE

hits the floor as Kirkland rakes the shop with BULLETS. She STOPS.

127

MERCHANT

turns around to see a GRO~LING LOU staring in his face. The Merchant makes a dash for his life,with Lou right on his tail.

128A

STREET OUTSIDE SHOP

As the Merchant runs out the front door, slamming it behindhim.

129

HIGHTOMER

iswaiting. He thinks the Merchant is the robbQr getting a!l.11'.Hightower charges and drops the rlorch.:.ntwitha crack-back tackle, smearing him into the pavement. Hightower looks up to see Lt. Maus~r standing over him.

11AUSER Hello, Higl1tower.

Mahoney, Schtulman, Tackleberry and Kirkland straggle out of the store, shcc,pishlyholdin!Jtheir guns.

MAUSER
(continuing)
Hello, everybody.

The Merchant gets up and~,"::,,,.,,~ohisstore a defeated man.

MERCll.!\MI My shop. Look ~hratthey clid to my shop.

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/23/SIJ IJ3.

I: i;

95

INT. SHOP - THEIR POV 132

As seen THROUGH the plate glass window. Every piece oI glass in the shop has been smashed eKcept for one pitiful-looking swag lamp hanging from the ceiling.

comes running over to the Merchant.

JONES
Sir? Good news. Ne found your money.

He hands the Merchant the six dollars. The Merchant looks at it, then looks at his shatten~d shop. The last swag LAMP falls and BREAKS. He whimpers.

135

INT. SQUAD ROOM AT PRECINCT

All our officers are lined up in front of their lockers. Captain Pete Lassard looks on grimly while Proctor reads a report. Mauser listens with suppressed glee.

PROCTOR
... Said officers did then discharge their weapons, with flagrant disregard for public safety, causing to be expended some 1200 rounds oI ammunition. Total damage to the shop ... $76,800.50.
MAUSER
Well, those are the facts, sir. Sorry. I know you must be furious. I've n&VQr seen suel1gross neg 1 igence.
LASSARD
Do you men have an1thing to say?
MAHOHEY
May I speak --You know, Captain Lassard, your brothQr taught us many fine things at the ac~derny. CMORE)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" -Rev. 10/23/8~

135

CONTIHUED:

,---.

11AHOIIEi'<COIIT'D> He taught us that a cop can neuer try to hard or care to much. And that's what we did today. Perhaps we were a bit overzealous.

MAUSER
Overzealous -- 1200rounds $76,800.
PROCTOR
And fifty cents.

MI\HONEi' If caring is a crime and trying is a felony, then rguess we all plead guilty.

PETE LASSARD
Mahoney is right, Lieutenant Mauser. If the rest of your men tried as hard as these officers, we could licH this gang in no time.
(Lassard tears up the report)
Good job,men. Keep it up.

Lassard exits. Mauser fumos.

MAUSER
Mahoney, that was the most amazing line of bullshit I ever heard.
MAHONEY
Coming from you, sir, that's quite a compliment.

Schtulman begins eating an egg salad sandwich.

"POLICEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/84 45.

99

-..

sees this and leaps to the attack, BARKING, GROWLlllG ferociously, backing Mauser into a corner.

SCIITULMAM
Lou. • .Lou! I1rnay!

Lou backs off. Mauser tries to regain his dignity.

MAUSER
You're all on report.
(pointing at Lou)
You, too.

Lou attacl!sagain. 11auser turns tailand runs for the door. He slams it just in time.

137

EXT. A NEIGHBORHOOD BAR - HIGHT

The place is called "The Club and Cuff." We hear MUSIC and LAUGHHIG inside.

138

INT. BI\R

The place is decorated in a police motif. Handcuffs, nightsticks and guns are mounted on the walls, along with photos of famous cops from TV shows and movies. Mahoney, Schtulman, Hightower, Jones and Fackler are all gathered at a table drinking beer. They all t.1earcivilian clothes. Schtulman gets the attention of a waitress.

SCHTULtll\H Give us another round here, will ya?

MAHONEY
I'd like to propose a toast.
(they rai:;etheir glasses)
To Lieutenant Mauser... The biggest putz at the precinct.

They all drink.

HIGHTOWER
I used to play football with a guy like Mauser. He was always getting us in trouble with the coach.
MAHONEY
What'd you do?

<COMTiffUED>

"POLICEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/SlJ 46.

138

COJITIRUED!

HIGHTOWER
Broke every bone in his body.
MAHONEY
Good thought,Hightower. Hang onto that.

Tackleberry walks up and stands there, slightly embarrassed.

MAHONEY
(continuing)
Hey, Tackleherry•••
TACKLEBERRY
I need to speak to you, Mahoney.
MAHONEY
Go ahead.
TACKLEBERRY
It's of a personal nature.

MAHONEY

103

---- OH. EXCUSE US, GUYS•

Mahoney and Tackleberry exit.

139

AT BAR

Proctor, in civilian clothes, approaches the BARTENDER who is pouring several draft beers.

PROCTOR
Is that beer for the rookies?
BARTENDER
That's right.
PROCTOR
I'd like to send them something ... special .•.you know... to welcome them to the force.

Proctor hands the Bartender a fifty dollar bill. The Bartender reaches under the har, pulls out a bottle of pure liq\tid.

BARTEMDER
How 'bout some pure grain alcohol. Two hundred proof.

The Bartender begins to rour the alcohol into the beer. Proctor smirks.

1110 11A!lCHEYP.l!DIAC!-:l."E:Ff.1'.P.Y

settle into a private booth.

~!t\HOHCY

TJ\~~~:T..FFF.nr'1' It's l:ir)(!~.nd.

11/\HOHF:"l OJ,yenh ...your rn!t11er. You're a luc!:~•nu11,T,H.:klr,h;•l·ry.SltP'S~ ioxa

Tf:c~:L£~tnRI Affirmnli~~- Witl1r~g~rd to Kirlll:ind,I ...

II,~cnn't!JO011.

11/J!O!'.SY

TAr..:}7LF:8r.:!rY I lltinl:l'm•••

rF·H01~~~· Yo,1thinJ<:•Jha.l~C~·~ift011,n~n. SrQ!l jt out.

TacJtlebPtry locl!5~tonnclt:o~al!e~u1·~no one O\~f?rh~ar!:, thr.·n:;r,e11sitoutin puIicc corl e.

111\llOJ!SY (reali-;-:ii.~,n!:toni~'11<1<I, ~ little too loudly) Lnvf'I"?!Yol~'r,,1:1_lc·v~?

-rt.c::1.1::s~~r.RY S},hh• l.c•t•5J~~;•jtthi;-ten-thirt~·- li·..•E.~,c:h:iy-!

t~AHOl~rY <t.J!,j~!''.';lnt;f~,:cited1}') 'icua!•dl:ir];l;~~1tl.'Ih1l'.•~OT'-;1~-. So, <lo~s~h~ h•1v,~thf'J1ot~-7c:-;-~:uu, t1,•.)?

Tt..<:~~J.ERr.~~Y I duu•t J(11~H.I·~ in►--~:1H:•ri~nc~tlin r«~L':q·sofri10~1;-i!\t.i.~·nrd.u:P.

"POLICE ACADEMY II" -Rev. 10/10/Slf

1110

COMTINUED:

MAHONEY
Come on. You'vehad women before.

T/\CJ<LEBERRY We 11 •••

1'1AHOMEY Youmust have had at least one.

T/\CKLEBERRY Negative.

MAHONEY
(blurting it out, really loud)
You"re a virgin?

Everybody in the place hears this. We hear some snick- ers. Tackleberry gets all red in the face. He stands up and barks at the crowd in his best policeman's voice --

TACKLEBERRY
You people go about your business or I' 11crac}1some heads!

He sits down. Mahoney pats him on the shoulder.

MAHONEY
Tackleberry, you need it bad.

llf0A EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BAR - NIGHT 1IJOA

Mauser is parked in his watch commander's car. Proctor walks up.

PROCTOR
Mission accomplished.
MAUSER
Good. Mow all you have to do is wait till they come out.
(handing Proctor a earnera} And get somo pictures.
PROCTOR
"Willdo.

Mauser pulls away. Proctor gets into his own car which is parked in the shadows.

"POLI CEACADEMY I I"-Re 11.10/10/8'1

140B

INT. BAR -LATER THAT EVENING 11!OB

Mahoney, Fackler, Hightower, Tackleberry, Jones and Schtulrnanare slouched over the table, their faces in their beer. They're all sloshed. So is Lou. rlahoney picks up hishead and puts his arm around Schtulrnan.

MAHONEY
Schtulman .., Stchtaputski. You're my partner,man. I love you. But I gotta be honest. You stink. {pulls somo crumpled bills out of his pocket> Here•s three dollars. Run yourself through a car wash.
SCHTULMAN
Thanks, Mahoney.

Schtulman starts to leave. Mahoney stops him.

M/1.HOJIEY Wait. Here's another dollar. Have yourself hot-waKed.

140C

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE -LATT:RTHAT NIGHT

Proctor is still waiting in his car, He looks up as he hears the GUYS COMING OUT of the bar.

140D

EXT. BAR PIOD

The guys come out, reeling drunk, and trying to play touch football. Mahoney, Schtulman and Hightower form a huddle.

l'IAHO.HEY Schtulrnan •..yougo down and out. On sixty-three ••• ready, break!

PROCTOR

issn~pping picturesof them. He opPns the door to get out fora betterangle.

GUYS

line up for the play. Fncl11~r,T•clr)cherryand Jones line up opposite the cthf'(!i.Tl,e:y'1~U!i ingabeer bottle fora ball.

( C:OIITIIIUED)

ftPOLICEACADEMY llft- Rev. 10/23/SIJ 50.

11JOD CONTINUED: 1110D

11AHONEY Forty-two left ... thirty-five right. Sixty-three•.• hut. hut!

Hightower snaps the beer bottle. Schtulman goes out. Mahoney throws the beer bottle .•.

PROCTOR

is taking pictures. The bottle hits him on the forehead with a loud DINK. He !alls straight back, out cold.

1119A

EXT. PRECINCT - DAY 1'I9A

TO ESTABLISH that this is morning.

150

IKT. MAUSER'S OFFICE - DAY

We are CLOSE OK Proctor's photos of football game of night before. ANGLE to reveal Proctor showing photos to Pete Lassard. Proctor wears a bandage. Mauser is smiling.

LASSARD * ,. Were they drunk?

Proctor has black eye. •

PROCTOR
This one•s a little overexposed. They appear to be clearly inebriated. Ann thP.yconducted themselves in a manner unbecoming to members of the dopartmant.
LASSARD
Who took there pictures?
PROCTOR
I did, sir.

(C.:OMTINUED)

ftPOLICEACADEMY !In - Rev. 10/23/811 50A.

,so COIITIHUED: CAD 150

,. LASSARD ,. Why?

,. PROCTOR Just following some vagug inner * ,. voice, sir.

MAUSER
{suddenly snapping at Proctor) You know, Proctor. How about wg z devote our energies to stopping crime for a change!

(CONTIKUEO)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" -Rev. 10/10/84 51.

150

COHTINUEO:

Proctor eMits. Mauser walks Captain Lassard to the door.

MI\USER (continuing) Sorry I had to do that, sir. But sometimes he justgoes too far.

150A

IHT. LOCKER ROOM -MOMENTS LATER

All the recruits are sitting around listless, hung-over. Proctor enters and blowsa shrill whistle. The recruits cringe.

PROCTOR
Mahoney! Lieutenant Mauser wants to see you.

l50B INT. MAUSER'S OFFICE -MOMENTS LATER 1508

Mauser is alone. He leans back in his chairand stares out the window. Mahoney enters. Mauser doesn't notico.

M(>.USER
{gleefully, to himself) Any day now, Mahoney, and your little ass isgoing to bemine.
MAHOHEY
You wanted to see me, sir?

Mauser spins around in the chair, startled.

MAUSER
(embarrassed)
That's right.
MAHONEY
l hope this isn't going to botoo personal, sir. I heard what you said about my ass.,. and I don't know how to break this to you, but I'm straight.

tlAUSER Very funny. Every year wn get a " rookie who thinks he's a comedian, "' Mahoney. See if you think this is • funny. .. (scribbling on an assignment sheet) Your new assignmc;nt.

"POLICE ACADEMY II" -Rev. 10/10/84 52.

151

IMT. TUMMEL -DAY

Mahoney, Schtulman and Lou are sitting in a little booth inthe middle of the tunnel, watching cars go by. It's smokey and foul.

MAHOHEY
Why are we here, anyway!
SCHTULMAH
In case somebody's car stops, We're supposed tosave 'em before they get carbon monoxide poisoning.

MAH01{£:( Who's gonna save us?

Mahoney dusts some black soot off his sleeve.

SCHTULMAJI
It£.fil! get kinda boring.
(he takes out a tennis ball)
Lou! Wanna play catch?

He tosses the ball across tho tunnel. Lou runs after it. Suddenly there is a loud O.S.CAR COLLISIOM. Lou returns with the ball.

MAHOJIEY
At leastwe've got something to do now.

He and Mahoney got up to investigate the accident.

116

EXT. BAD CITY STREET -DAY 152

Hightower is walking along. His street looks peaceful. He's doing a good job. He stops when he sees Mauser wait- ing forhim r-nthe 14atchcommander's car.

MAUSER
(pretendi11gto be nice)
Hello, Hightower. Enjoying your assignment?
HIGHTOWER
Yeah, I actually feel like I'm doing something useful.

You know, Hightower, I bP.lieuea m~n should do what he does best.

(COKTIIIUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY Il" -Rev. 10/10/Slf 53.

152

COIITIIIUED:

Mauser nods toward a jitney. Hightower sighs. Mauser hands him the keys and a bookof tickets.

MAUSER
(continuing)
And don't come back tillyou write at least fifty parking tickets.
153

!RT. SISTRUIIK'SSQUAD CAR -DAY

Jones makes the sound of a high-pitched squeak. Sistrunk thinks it's the car.

SISTRUNK
Aw. shit. What could that be? You know anything about engines?

Jones answers inGerman gibberish. Sistrunk frowns. When he thinlHlSistrunk isn't looking, Jonesmakes the squeak again. Only this timeSistrunk notices. lie doesn't let on.

SISTRUNK
(continuing)
Row whnt? I bet it's the fan belt.
(he stops the car)
Get out and check it.
154

EXT. CAR -COIITIIIUOUSACTIOII

Jones gets out and opens the hood. As he leans in ...

155

SISTRUNK

turns on the ear-piercing SIREN. It YELPS loudly, right in Jones' ear. Jones staggers out from behind the hood, stunned and wobbling. Sistrunk chortles.

SISTRUNK
You ain't foolin' me, boy. I didn 1 tfalloff nn godd~mn ~\ITnip truck.

156 OtlITTED 156 "

157

EXT. RUII-DOWNSELF SERVE GAS STATION - DAY 157 •

Dooley's squad car pulls in. Fackler gets out.

"POLICE ACADEMY ll" -Rev. 10/10/84

iss AKOTHER ANGLE -STATION 158

122

-- FACKLER APPROACHES THE STATION ATTENDANT, AN 11-YEAR-OLD

LATIN KID who issitting with his feet propped up, read- ing a wrestling magazine. Loud LATIH MUSIC PLAYS on a portable RADIO.

FACKLER
Excuse me •••could I use your restroom, please?
LATIN
You buyin'gas?
FACKLER
Uh. • •no.
LATIN KID
Thon pee somewheres else.
FACKLER
(almost assertively)
Look, this is ...a police emergency.
LATIN KID
(unimpressed)
Oltay,take tho koy.

TheKiel indicates a key on the desk, Fackler picks it up. It's attached to a heavy chain with a huge concrete block on the end. He struggles to lift the thing.

LATII{KID (continuing) Hey, don't run off with that.

158A

SQUAD CI\R 1581\

Dooley watches as two big GAllGMEl1Bf.RSwalk up, carrying some tools.

DOOLEY
(cheerfully)
Hi, fel lahs.

GANG 11EMBERft7 You got any jumper cables?

DOOLEY
Sure. They're in the trunk.

Dooley starts to get out of the car.

npoLICE ACADEMY !!ft -Rev. 10/10/84 55.

159

FACKLER

is dragging the heavy key chain over tothe restroom door. He manages to open it ...

160

FACKLER 1 SPOV -BATHROOM

It's incredibly vile and filthy. The walls are covered with graffiti and grungy with years of slime. Scum drips from the overflowing urinal. The commode looks like it hasn't been used for years. The porcelain is broken, cobwebs cover it. A big rat sticks its head out of the toilet bowl and glares.

161 FACl<LER 161

can't believe how bad it is. He closes the door and turns around to see --

162

SQUAD CAR

right where he left it, but it's been completely strip- ped. The hood is up; the engine is gono, as are all four wheels. The car is covered with freshly sprayed graffiti and Officer Dooley is nowhere insight. We can hear him POUNDHIG on tho lid of the trunk, his VOICE MUFFLED but desperate.

FACKLER
(confused)
Officer Dooley •••?
162A

EXT. PRECINCT STEPS -LATE DAY T62A •

Mahoney, Schtulman and Lou wearil'} climb the steps. They're covezed with soot from the tunnel.

A162B INT. MAJN PRECINCT LOBBY -DA~ A162B'

Mahoney, Schtulman andLou walk past a group of citizens. • Pete Lassard is addressingthem. •

PETE LASSARD
, Thekey to forming a successful citizen watch group is communic~tion. Think of the precinct as the hub of a communications network.

"POLICE ACADEMY rr· - Rev. 10/10/8~

162B

INT. DISPATCH AREA - DAY

Kirklanilopens her locker and is surprised to £ind a rose. Hooks notices this.

HOOKS
Who's that from?

,.

A smile plays across Kirkland's lips.

162C

INT. LOCKER ROOM - TACKLEBERRY - DAY 162C "'

is repairing his helmet.

60. :1

162D

KIRKLAND AND HOOKS

Kirkland's eyes say itall.

HOOKS
(realizing the situation} Oh, my God.

162[ MAHONEY 162E

enters the 1ockerroom, still covered in soot. Mauser passesby wearing only a towel.

MAUSER
Hello, Mahoney. Enjoy your day?

Mauser heads toward the showers. Mahoney is too tired to respond. He slumps down on a bench next to Tackleberry who is repairing his helmet.

M/\HOHEY Hi, Tackleberry.

TACKLEBERRY
Hey, Mahoney. Would you stir this for me?

Tacltleberryhands Mahoney a.container of a thick, glue- Iil:Pmil<lu-r-e.llahoneystirsit. Tackl1?.b1?.rrysandpapers his helmet.

MAHONEY
14hat is this stuff? Some kind of glue?
TACKLEBERRY
Stronger. It's fiberglass resin.
MABONEY
(getting interested)
You mean when it hardans...?

Tackleberry takes hack thP-can.

TACKLEBERP.Y
lt turns into fiberglass.

Tackleberry begins to apply the stuff to his helmet.

MAHONEY
How long does it tal:e?

TACl<LEBERRY A few seconds.

11AHOHEY Got any more?

thnt thru

167

16·1

"POLICE ACADEMY 11" - Rev. ,o/10/84 61.

168

LOCKER ROOM SHOWER

Mauser is in the shower, singing "If I Ruled the World" to himself. He starts the shower, douses his head, and with his eyes closed, reaches for the shampoo. He can't find it. Suddenly Mahoney's hand reaches INTO FRAM£ and hands him a tube of something. Mauser takes it and quickly rubs a lot of it into his hair. He tries to work up a lather with both hands. Suddenly, he stops working his fingers, because they're stuck. Really stuck. le tries to pullthem away from his hair. He can't. He screams.

MAUSER
Hey!
169

INT. MA LHLOCKER ROOM -CONTINUOUS ACTIOH 1&9

All the male recruits. including Mahoney, are getting dressed. Mauser walks through the group, obviously nude, although we only see him from the waist up. His hands are still fiberglassed to his hair which is sticking up in peaks. He glares at them.

MAUSER
Who the hell is responsible for this?

Lou sees Mauser and takes off after him, snarling fero- ciously. Mauser runs /orthe door. He pushGs it open, just in time. And he steps into ...

170

INT. MAIN PRECINCT -LOBBY

which is fullof people from the citizens'watch group. Mauser leans against the door, horrified for an instant. Tha people in the lohbv are shocked. M~user decides to pretend nothing iswrong. He walks nailedthrough the lobby,his hands still glued to his hair.

rll\USER (forcing a smile) Hi. How are you?

Ci~izen~ give him a ~Gird look.

M!IUSER (continuing) What's thQ mattor? You naver saw a man wash his hair before?

FADE OUT.

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev.10/10/84 62-65. •

FADE IN:

thru thru

180

INT. MAUSER'S OFFICE -DAY

Proctor is cutting the last chunk of fiberglass out of Mauser's hair. Mauser looks at himself ina hand mirror. He scowls at the huge gaps and bald spots.

MAUSER
l bet you anything it was Mahoney. Look at this!
PROCTOR
It's not so bad. Just woar the wig forawhile.

(CONTINUF.D>

MAUSER
What am I supposed to do about this?

Mauser holds up his hands. Big clumps of hair are fiberglassed to his palms. Proctor can't control him- self. lie snickers. Mauser glo1~ersat him.

180A

EXT. STREET NEAR PRECINCT - DAY

Pete Lassard rides along in a police station wagon. He sees something that makes him mad --

180B A LITTLEGAHG Mf-MBF.R 1808

is spraying graffiti on an alley wall.

180C

LASSARD

stops the station wagon, j\tmpsout and haads toward the gang rnernbeI•

PETE Ll\SSARD Hey!

Lassard runs toward the gang nu~rnber.But when he gets into the alley, he is quickly surrounded by several more big gang members, all carrying cans of spray paint. Thay rattle the cans, threatening Lassard.

PETE LASSARD
(continuing)
I've been waitin' {or this. You bastards don't scara me.
(claringthem)
Come on ... I'lltake all of you on!

The gang ~1embersclose in on him.

180D HIT. SQUAD ROOtl- MHW'l'F.ST.hTF.R 180D

Mauser is speaking to the new recruits. He wears a bad wig. He is scowling.

Mii11~I".'\ At tJ1af:r--•:,\ • }c•::struly was th::ohjccl o! >\r,,dj(;inu~ pranlt.

(COM1'1MUi::IJ)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/81/ 67.

139

··- HE HOLDS UP HIS HAIRY PALM FOR ALL TO SEE •

MAUSER
<continuing> Who can tell me how this happened?

MAHO}{EY I can. And if you don't stop that, sir, you could go blind,

MAUSER
(sputtering mad)
You're on report, Mahoney.
180E

EXT. FRONT OF PRECINCT - SAME TIME

Lassard's STATIOK WAGON whools up and SCREECHES to a stop. It's spray-painted with graffiti. On the side of the car, in big letters, is written, "PIG MOBILE." Lassard gets out and slams the door. He looks like he just lost a fight. 'rhegang has spray-painted hi111,too. On the front of his uniform is written, "CHIEF PIG." A big star is spray-painted on his chest. He storms up the steps.

180f !HT. SQUAD ROOM - SAME THIE 180f

Mauser is still interrogating the officers.

MAUSER
Someone in this room is responsible. And I'm going to find out who. I don't care how long it...

Mauser is interrupted as Pete Lassard storms in, still furious about his run-in with the gang.

PETE LASSARD
What's going on here?
MAUSER
I was just reprimanding them, ::.i r •••
PETE LASSARD
To hell with your goddam reprimands.
MAUSER
But. sir ...

(COHTlllUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" -Rev. 10/10/8~ 68.

180F COMTIHUED: t80F

PETE LASSARD
Sit down, Lieutenant. I've got something to say.

Mauser sits instantly. There's no dealing with Lassard now.

PETE LASSARD
<continuing) We've got to do something, men. This is war! We didn't start it, but, by God, we're going to finish it. We're going to work time-and- a -halI...we're going to work double-time if we have to, but make no mistake about it. We're going to nail those punks starting now!

Fackler jumps up on his desk, raises his arm likehe's going over the top at lwo Jima and yells

FACKLER
Let's kick ass!

Fackler falls off the desk. (NOTE, stirring, martial MUSIC UNDERSCORES this sequenc~.)

181

EXT. CITY PARK -DAY

Two gang members come running out of the bushes carrying several women's purses. We hear an O.S.woman yell --

WOMAH'S VOICE
Police!

Mahoney leaps out of a tree, commando-style, on top of one of thegang members.

182

OTHER GANG MEMBER

runs of£ in another direction.

183

MAHONEY

shouts £or h~lp.

MAIIOUEY
S~htulman! Coming your w~y.

ftPOLICEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/84 69.

184

SCHTULMAH

is sitting on a park bench, eating an ice cream cone. As the other gang member runs past, Schtulman sticks out his leg and the gang member trips, headlong to the ground with a loud thud.

185

INT. TEHEL1EHTHALLWAY - DAY

Tackleberry and Kirkland have two GANG MEMBERS up against a wall.

TACKLEBERRY
Kirkland.,. may 1 borrow your cuffs?
KIRKLAND
Sure.

,.

She hands him the handcuffs. Their hands touch. They're both embarrassed. The Gang Member looks back at them, • annoyed.

GAHG ME~1BER Hey, don't let me interrupt nothin'.

186

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

Two of the Gang Members who earlier attacked Fackler's car are stripping an expensive car. Gang Member 17 is taking off a wheel while Gang Member 18 works with a wrench under the hood. Fackler walks up and politely taps Gang Member 18 on the shoulder.

FACKLER
Excuse me ...l don't think you should be doing that.

Gang Member 18 is so unimpressed that he doesn't even stop working under the hood.

GAKG MEMBER 18
Watcha gonna do about it?

Fackler fumbles with his PR-2~ baton, holds it out.

FACKLER
I think I'll have to arrest you or s orne thing ...

Unseen by Fackler, Gang Member f7 sneaks around from behind, tire tool in },and,about to clobber him.

<CONTIHUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/8'1 70.

GAMG MEMBER 18
(scoffing)
You're not gonna use that thing.

Fackler raises the baton, just to threaten him. On the backswing, he pops Gang Member i7 in the forehead. Fackler spins around, in time to see him hit the ground, out cold.

FACKLER
Sorry •••I didn't mean to .••

As Fackler turns he bumps into the brace holding up the hood. The hood slams down on Gang Member i8.

187

EXT ..I\LLEYL~AYBEHINDGROCERY- DAY 187 "'

Namu and another big, mean gang member are terrorizing the Chinese grocer.

NAMU
Zed don't like it when you miss your payments.

Suddenly, Jones enters. He leaps into a martial arts .. position and mak~s threatening noises like Bruce Lee.

,.

Namu turns the gun on him.

HAMU
(continuing)
Hold it right there, cop.

Jones circles him, making cat-like noises.

NAMU
( continuing; contemptuously)
Guy thinks he's Bruce Lee.

Just like Bruce, Jones leaps 10 feet straight up, doing a remarkable triple flip. As ho comes down, he kicks both Namu and the other gang member. The blows make loud smacking sounds like you hear in Bruce Lee movies. Both gang members drop li)c~~ ton of brickP.

188

EXT. CLTY STREET - MLGHT

A slightly-built young man with e~trernelyshort hair is walking along by himself. lielooks up in horror to see --

71. ~

189

TEK OR TWELVE GANG MEMBERS

coming forhim.

\90 YOUMGMAN 190

breaks and runs for cover into --

191

BLUE OYSTER BAR 1'}1

The young man dashes inside, followed by the gang members,

192

IHT.BLUE OYSTER -CONTINUOUS ACTION

The young man runs for cover. Several men in leather are dancing with their male partners. They look up as the gang members enter. Tho t!USJCSTOPS. The men in leather step forward, threateningly. ihe partners hang back. On'!of the leatlu~rboys throws the first punch at a gangmember and the melee begins.

192A

INT. RADIO ROOM - NIGHT 1921\

Hooks has just takon a call on the radio, Mauser and Proctor are going over some reports.

HOOKS
(into phone)
Right. Okay, we'll be right there.
( to Mauser)
There's a huge fight at the Blue Oyster Bar. Should I send in the SHAT tea1n?
MAUSER
{with a gloam in his eye) Ko, Send in Mahonoy.

Hooks gives Mauser a look, but obeys.

HOOKS
(into :ra(!io> M-15, a 1115in progress at the Blue Oyster Bar at, ..uh...

She lool<sfor the address.

PROCTOR
(without thinking)
Six-twanty-one CohlanAVQIIU~.

( CO!lT IIIUED)

,.

...-.

Mauser and Hooks both give him a look. Proctor quickly returns to work on tha reports, pretending not to notice.

192B

EXT. BLUE OYSTER BAR - KIGHT

The K-9 truck pulls up. Mahoney, Schtulman and Lou get out. They stop as thr,,,ysee--

192C

BAR

Tha fight is raging inside. Me hear BRAWLING, sounds of BARE-KNUCKLE SLUGGING, TABLES being CRUSHED. A CHI\IR CRASHES through a WINDOW.

192D MAHOllEY,SCHTULl'IAR.LOU 192D

SCHTULMAI{ Jee~e.

t!AIIONEY I'rngoing in.

192E

MAHONEY 1~2E

charges into the door. He is instantly thrown back out. He lands at Schtulman's feet.

MAHOKEY (cont"d)
I'm coming out.

HIGHTOWER'S JITNEY 192F 192F

1Jheelsup. Hightower gets out.

SCHTULllf\N Hi ya, HightowAr. Looks prAtty bad.

HIGHTOHER
Yn'll wait here~

They watch in amazem,intas Hightower strides into tho door of the bar. The RRAHL INTENSIFIES. Suddenly one of the gang members flies out ol thA door backwards, landing at Mahoney's fl)<>+.,...,.,.,,..· ······..···•h<>rs::iils out.The HightO\l<'Y,_....'rr r> 0 rhirunderhis arm lihe « !1,.~·· , ,,,...~cld.ul1n:;,nlooilat each other, amazed.

(CO!ITIKUED)

·;3.

1')J,f CONTI!WED:

HJCHTOJ.!ER (continuii1t1> Put lhD~o in tliPl1,1cl1.I'll ho 1i11hlh.::.cl·:.

liegoes bncl:ior r:orr..lfahun!·y~nclSchtul:n<1npicllupone of th<?!f:lll{I'"":nl,~rs.::.::clcarryhiPltoth~~...aitingK-9 trucll.

t!tdlel!EY (to tho y:u,gr:r:>mher) YOU h::iveu,~Ijgh~ to roi::;:lll5ilmit. You hil\'Ctheright to :iCtll.!lt ~rpc,j11l0~~ttor11~y•..

or-11cM.n,rr re~,

193 K-~ TRUC~ .,nlHUT~S LRTEr 193

M.::.hoJls·1•isr<!:ldingth~1:risor,.-,?st.It~iTri~hts.Sch\~:lri~;i i::;5!.~!ffinqr:1:yl·eth.~-ei9hthoznintlrg...ty1nl-oth,-·h~1:k. 'Iht:!}'rre!st~cl;~-:,ciin1iJ:~cordt-1octl,lh;~jrit~G23p1~~~cc; <l~H:ill'J~l~:2F.!~t«Jc;;g,~.

r1r1H~!C'i(CO!lt'Ii) 'iouh:n;c,lb•:1·ighl.tos!~~gth,1h~\!t'S. lou h~~:,.:tl:~:Iitihltoc:.~h1e"f'l•.• tl1at·svory i~porta:1t.

orTIC~L FL!r TO:

EX!. K·9 TRUCK - MIJ!UIE~LATER

IIi[>l,tor~nr;,nd~cht~il~,m«re5tackin11thel<l.$t11'1yi11I.<> t~i-:!r~c]~ecll1uc~;.ih,:,y<::-inhnrr,l'j<:lo~t0thr>rlcr:!·,t1:-::rc a!"cso m~n~,of th~!rr◄•rlc?.h',?H:yi!.i!.,ti)}re;:u~jn~y.

rc~no~n~'t'<~er~t •c!) Yollh~'.:cithPtig:,•_t.:."ls,,1,1~ ◄-.Yt•iJ h:l·,c,thQrightto p~~nt th-~i.!:llls, b11Lno 1011du•,lor~.

H1CH·rftl!f.R l tl1in!1tl•nt'snil.

l'l/1.1[OJIF.Y n~?Ftngoodjob, Hi~~~~~CH!P't.Th«nJ:s.

H lGf!T('!,!Ei\

flPOLlCEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/84 .,... •

194

CONTINUED:

HIGHTOl~ER (continuing) Ya'll be good.

Several of the Blue Oyster customers gather around Hightower, gazing at him in admiration. Hightower blushes. The truck pulls away. It is so loaded down that the rear bumper scrapes the pavement.

194A

EXT. POLICE STATION - ESTABLISHING - DAY 19L!A

195

INT. PRECINCT LOBBY

All our officers, except Tackleberry, are present.

MAHONEY
Captain Lassard, I need your signature. ,
PETE LASSARD
What have you got?
MAHONEY
Authorization !or a body cavity search.
PETE LASSARD
(beaming with pride as he signs the form)
You men did a terrific job.
OFFICERS
(AD LIB> Thank you, sir. Thanks, Captain.

DESK SERGEA}[T (handing him the phone) Captain Lass~rd, it's the commisioner.

PETE LASSARD
YQs~ sir_ ~orly-~wo ~rras~s. ~ell, I told you these new recruits could do the job...

Mauser enters with Proctor, who carries some reports.

<COl(TI HUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY JJn - Rev. 10/23/8~ 75.

19S

COHTIHUED: 195

PETE LASSARD
(continuing)
Wait. Here's Lieutenant Mauser with some more news.
MAUSER
HelIo, sir. I'm afraid most of the charges will have to be dropped.
PETE LASSARD
What?!

Proctor hands Mauser the reports.

MAUSER
Improper arrest procedures. Unnecessary use of force. I'm afraid we had to release the prisoners.
LASSARD
( on phone)
Yes, we're dropping the charges. What -- yes, that's right -- improper arrest. We had to release the prisoners •••
MAUSER
(takes phone> Mauser here, sir -- I couldn't agree with you more, sir. Arrests don't mean a thing if you can't make them stick and give my regards to your lovely wife.

Mauser smiles. Mauser hangs up.

MAUSER
(continuing; to Lassard)
Sorry to be the bearer of badnews. Will there be anything else?
PETE LASSARD
(dazed)
K~- J•d li]IGto bQ ~long_

Pete Lassard walks into office and closes the door. We hear anguished CRIES as he POUKDS his HEAD ON thoDESK. Mauser smiles.

MAHONEY
Iknow what you're doing,Mauser.

(CONTIIIUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" -Rev. 10/23/84 75A.

195

COHTINUED: (2)

MAUSER
Then you'd better be nice tome. Because I'm gonna be in charge soon.

Mahoney watches as Mauser exits.

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. T0/10/8q 76.

197

I}(T.LOCKER ROOM

Jones is sitting on a bench, playing taps. Schtulrnan ~ takes off a sock, smells it and throws it over his ~ shoulder. It sticks on the wall. He takes off the other sock and throws it, just as ..•

198

MAUSER

opens the door to enter the locker room. The sock hi ts him and sticks. He peels it off, disgusted.

MAUSER
You filthy, disgusting •..

LOU GROWLS a warning. Mauser eKits quickly, still glaring at Schtulman.

198A

MAHONEY

enters the locker room. He notices Tackleberry putting on a bad sports jacket.

tll\l!OHEY Why so dressed up?

TACl<f,E:Bf.RRY I have a date with Kirkland. "

11/1.HONEY Is that cologne you"re wearing?

TACl<LEBERRY Ko. Gun oil.

199

INT. HALLWAY AT PRECINCT

A NURSE marches down the hall, her SHOES SQUEAKING. She's a scowling bulldog of a woman, 200 pounds of pure venom. Two male attendants accompany her.

200

INT. LOCKER ROOM

M~user, in~ ~n~•l. ~~•ses hp M~honQy. Th~y ol~rQ al each other. Nahoney watches as llauser entersthe showers. Fackler approaches rlahoney.

FACKLER
Hey, Mahoney, somebody wants to see }'OU.

(COll'lllWED)

77. •

200

COHTINUED:

MAHONEY
Thanks.

The fat Hurse entets.

HURSE
You Mahoney?
MAHONEY.
That's right.
NURSE
I'm here for the BCS.
MAHONEY
BCS •. ,?
NURSE
Body Cavity Searcl1.
MAHOHEY
Oh, right.
NURSE
Where's tl1e prisoner?

Mahoney looks towards the showers. Steam ls corning out. We can hear Mauser RUNlfIHGthe WATER. l'lahoneysmiles.

202

!HT. SHOWER - CONTINUOUS ACTION

Mausor is showering. He looks around, suspicious, para- noid. He starts to lather. Sud(lenlytwo pair of hands grab him.

MAUSER
What the hell is going on?

The atten1lantsdrag nauser out of the showers to the waiting Nurse. They bend him over.

MAUSER
(continuing; to Nurse)
What do you w~nt? What aro you doing? You're making a .!UJ!. mistal<e.
NURSE
<stornly) Shut him up.

<COiliIIWV.D>

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/84 78. •

202

CONTINUED: 20?.

An attendant quickly slaps a big piece of tape over Mauser"s mouth. He murmurs a protest. 'IheNurse steps behind Mauser.

HURSE
<continuing) How just relax. And we"ll get along fine.

She smiles demonically and snaps on a rubber glove, tugging it up to her elbow.

203

CLOSE ON MAUSER'S FACE

His eyes bulge and he gives out a muffled scream as tho O.S. Hurse begins her search.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

203A

INT. KIRKLAND'S APARTMENT - EVENING

Kirkland opens the door to reveal Tackleberry who wears a !lowered disco shirt. He is very nervous,

KIRKLAND
Hello, Tackleberry.
TACKLEBERRY
<stiffly greeting her> Kirkland.

Tackleberry stares at Kirkland, she looltsvery attractive in the nice dress she"s wearing. Kirkland says nervously:

KIRKLAND
You look very nice.
TACKLEBERRY
Permit me to respond in kind. I've never seen you in civilian attire.
KIRKLAND
Disappointed?
TACKLEBERRY
Oh, negative, n~gative... And you 1

l<lRKLAHD (quickly) No.

"POLICEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/8~ 79.

203A

CONTINUED: 2031'\

There's an awkward pause. Kirkland glances at her watch.

KIRKLAND
Ccontinuing) Well, almost nineteen hundred hours. We'd better go.
TACKLEBERRY
Right.

He thrusts a small package into her hand.

TACKLEBERRY
(continuing)
Oh, here.
KIRKLAHD
What's this?
TACKLEBERRY
Gift.

203B CLOSEUP - Gl FT 203B

A pair of sterling silver earrings shaped like tiny handcuffs.

203C

TACKLEBERRY AHD KIRKLAND

He beams with pride as she tries on one of the earrings.

KIRKLAND
Oh, they're beautiful. Thank you.

She looks absolutely radiant. The lighting seems sud- denly very flattering to them both. They gaze into each other•s eyes.

MUSIC: A lush, romantic melody, very heavy on the strings. This continues to swell under the following MOHTAGE as we slowly --

DISSOLVE TO:

A201! MONTAGE A204

1) EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

Kirkland, in uniform, is riding along. Sh~ !~ughs ns she sees --

(COlfTlIIUED>

"POLICEACADEMY 11" - Rev. 10/10/84 80. •

A201f COKTIHUED, A201J

2) TACKLEBERRY

riding on his motorcycle with one leg out behind him, sho~,ingo £f1ike Paul Hewman in "Butch Cassidy."

3) KIRKLAKO AKD TACKLEBERRY

She is riding on the handlebars o! his cycle. They're laughing.

IJ) INT. POLICE STATION

Tackleberry and Kirkland are playfully fingerprinting each other. He presses her fingers on the ink pad, raises them to his lips and IIissesthem. This leaves ink stains on his mouth, but they are both oblivious.

5) FIRING RANGE

Several cops are lined up, blasting at targets.

6) TACKLEBERRY AND KIRKLAND

He has his arms around her, showing her how to fire a huge shotgun. She fires a couple of rounds, al thoughwe can't.hear it heca11~eof thP ORF.A.MY MUSIC. They look at each other lovingly.

7} IH SKY ABOVE

Two beautiful doves flying in SLOW MOTION.

8> BACK ON GROUND

Tackleberry points up at the doves. Kirkland smiles. Together they raise the shotgun and fire. A fe~1 feathers fall INTO FRAME.

DISSOLVE TO:

9) EXT. WOODS NEAP.FIRING RANGE - NIGHT

Tackleberry is roasting the doves over a small fire. He gazes transfixed at Kirkland who is slowly sliding a ramrod up and down, cleaning the barrel of Tackleberry's giant shotgun. '.theireyesmeet, their {acQs flush with passion.

The MUSIC reaches a CRESCENDO and ENDS.

DISSOLVE TO:

2011 Ol'lJTTED 2011

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/8~ 81.

A205 EXT. KIRKLAKD'S APARTMEKT -KIGHT A205

Kirkland andTackleberry, in uniform, are standing in the doon1a11. We see thei. rmotorcycles in thebackground.

TACKLEBERRY
Good night, Kirkland.
KIRKLAND
Good night.

He turns, takes a few steps down the walk. Suddenly Kirkland calls out --

KIRKLAKD
(continuing)
Tackleherry ...

TACKLEBERRY

KI RKLAJID
(blurting it out)
I loveyou.
TACKLEBERRY
Ditto!

The 111JSICSOARSonce again as he runs to her. They l~iss passionately, then break apart.

B205 IMT.APARTMENT -COMTI:IWOUSACT IOK B205

They step inside the doon,ay, grab each other and ease down onto the couch, kissing wildly. Tackleberry fumbles awkwardlywith the bucl!leoI her gun belt. She unbuckles it forhim. Her heavy pistol hi tsthe £loor with a thud. Tackleberry unbuckles his own gun belt and drops it, too. Then he remembers his "back-up" gun in a hidden holster at the small of his back. He tosses it to tho floor. Ho takes a small revolver out of a holster on his leg and drops it. Kirkland takos his hand and guides it inside her blouse. With trembling finyers, Tackleb,nry reaches in and comes out with a tiny double-ba:rrelderrinyor. lie pitche~ it to the floor. They melt into each other's arms as --

Th!!CAMERA MOVES TO the floor where Tacklebe:rry's club is sticking through Kirkland's handcuffs. The MUSIC reaches a CLUIAX and SUBSIDES.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

"J'OLJCEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/81J 81A.

20S Ol'llTTED 2.0S *

206

INT. JAPANESE RESTAURANT - HIGHT

Pete Lass ardand his brother Eric at one o£ those TEPPAll • tables with a hot metal surface in the middle. Their JAPANESE CHEf is preparing the food in a verv flashy manner, tossing utensils around, slamming the salt shaker on the table, f1ipping food to the Lass ard brothors. Unfortunately, the chef is very bad at this. Pete is extremely annoyed.

PETE LASSARD
(snapping at the chef)
ls that crap really necessary?

The Chef looks hurt but continues to toss things <1round.

ERIC LASSARD
You seem a little edgy, Pete.

PETE LI\SSARD (suddenly very calm) Oh, I'm fino. Look what I got for you. An early birthday present.

He reaches under the table and gives Eric a small bowl with a large tropical fish in it.

ERIC LASSARD
That's very kind of you.

He admires the fish, sets it on the teppan table.

ERIC LJ\SSARD (continuing) How are things at work, Pete?

This suddenly inflames Pete's temper. He practically shouts, his neck muscles bulging.

PETE LASSARD
Awful! If I don't do something quick, I'll be out of a job. They say I'm old ...they say I'm losing it ..• thatl'm getting purnuoid. They're all Q\Jtt,9get mo! Che pounds the hot table; it burns his hand> Jesus!
ERIC LASSARD
Try to relax.

(CONTIHUED)

ZfJ6 COHTIJIUED: <2) 206

PETE L!\SS~.l!D <sud~P11lvcool agni11) Sorry. Just the str:-:in,th:it's all • (as the Chnf hits hin,ia the I.icet.•ilh~sl,rin1>; Pete s11:-:rl~athim) - You slupi,ll.1as••• (quieklp a1•olo~izing) Scrrv. Y~u•1e doi11y3 Ntl)\~erfltl job, (sudil~nlraccu~ing Eric) You did this to me!

PETE Lf'.~SARn Y011! ~!hy'rlVi,us,,11,1mf"!tho,;e gurs?

'ET!::LJl~;~,/~~'.D Tl,ct:er<>{ll~ir,~!;\l lth~~Y~lois 'CTeW\IJ)!fo.11<!thr,pvoplninthP n~!~Od1C!J.oollil.r!?1,1c,1se.!h~y h~tc '-'~•.

fitIr.;Ll'.'.;$1>.!:I) Hhy l1en·I;you:l~sc-:-~~:.t}1ing?

n:rr:LASSAr.n

F:RICi~ft:~;~/\lUJ lfoll,1•oucouli!...uh•.• (l.hin~;inghrird> ..• clo'""~id.hingt<>t~;>!'~lllQthr. co~rntuait~•...,«~pecialshc:>Wof 1,01jer·invol~,c?''.C?ntinthe r~1:i~1hhtnh~Jotl.,l\.~t.!·r-r'ltf~ir.

rETF:LJ\SSA1'lJ ";:hrit'shri 11i;rnl.You'1elhr.i l1P~~biy brotJ1ar.

rele lot>l~:1llvw11,!\oticc.·sth~tth~wntC'"rinthefishl,o?~J L:;buhhlinq. 'fh<?!ishf1c-,d.:;!,~ll>'up.

'~TE:L/\ssr,EU (shc:r.rh•,toChef) Thh; fi~h i, boileL

J!:.i'A!{ESF.CHFF You 14::nt5tirhr,

83. ,.

The Chef flips the fish out of the bowl with lightning speed, tosses it on the tabla. We hear him slice it into pieces. He flips the bi ts ofcoolledfish to the Lassard brothers.

I'm warning you. I was at Guadalcanal. (he picks up the fish with his chopsticks, tastes it, then says calmly) Not bad.

207

EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

A HIGH AllGLEABOVE the street reveals a banner which says, "LETS SUEEP CRIME OFF OUR STREETS!" As we BOOtl DOWK TO street level we see a festival underway. Booths are selling goods and all kinds of strange ethnic foods, A few portable carnival rides are set up. The street is cro1~ded-withpeople from the neighborhood, some of thel'I in colorful ethnic costumes.

A band is playing cheerful music which sounds sort of vaguely Balkan. Here and there we see the police officers, in ~niform but relaxing and joining in the fun:

208

MAHOXEY

is inside a booth sponsored by the police, He's handing out pamphlets.

MI\IIOHEY ( likea carnival barker) Step up. Right here. Crime prevention painphIets, I got safety tips ... do'sand don'ts ..• 'How to Slug a Mugger' ...

209 Ll£UT£HAHT MAUSER 209

is watching the fair, scowling. Schtulrnanwalks up, eating sorot>thing1,mird.

Sr.II:Ill.11I\ll Havt>;•ol!t!!•:(!·.:,,.,·.:·;,."1;,nfood? llen:,,talH~abit".

<COIITIJHJF.D)

wpoLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/8~

MAUSER
What is that?

SCHTULMJ\N Pig ear on a stick.

Schtulman sticks it in Mauser's face.

210

TACKLEBERRY

Clog dancing with a group of costumed dancers as Kirkland watches, smiling.

2

\1 JONES 211

is amazing a little boy by making eerie space sounds.

212

BOOTH SPOHSORED BY POLICE

Chloe walks up. Mahoney is glad to see her.

MAHONEY
Hi.
CHLOE
Hi. Do I know you?
MAHONEY
Don't you remember me? You measured my crotch.
CHLOE
Oh, my God. The guy with the balloon in his pants.
MAHONEY
<pleased) You remembered.

Where's your ethnic costume?

MAHOKEY
l'm Irish. <indicating his uniform) This is my ethnic costume. Want to ride the ferriswhe~l?
CHLOE
~lhynot?

He hops over the counter to joinher.

"POLICE ACADEMY 11" -Rev. 10/10/SIJ 85.

212A

SMALL CROWD

isgathered to watch an athletic event. A sign says: •Tuna Toss Sponsored bythe Latvian Benevolent Society." A brawny Latvian contestant (in costume) grips a 20- pound blue fin tunaby the tail, spins it like a hammer and tosses it as far ashe can. The crowd cheers.

212B

ANOTHER LATVIAN 2128

marks where the fish hit the street.

212C

TILT-A-WHIRL

Fackler gets off, dizzy. Hightower gets on with a couple of little Asian kids.

212D

OHFERRIS "WHEEL

Mahoney is kissing Chloe. The ferris wheel is stopped. ._

:r CHLOE Inever kissed a cop before.

MAHONEY
Ever feel a cop?
CHLOE
No.
MAHOHEY
Neither have I. Although l have been known to cop a feel.
CHLOE
Hot on this ferris wheel you won't.
MAIIOIIEY
There's always the roller coaster.

They kiss again. The ferris wheel starts up and their car LIFTS OUT OF FRAnE. the neKt car reveals Tackleberry and Kirkland passionately making out. As they LEAVE FRAME, we see Fackler sitting in a car by himself, enjoy- ing the scenery.

213

SMALL STAGE

set up on the street. It's coverQd with bunting and

184

-··. POSTGRS PROCLAIMING "LET'S SWEEP CRIME OFF OUR STREETS,•

( COllT INUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/84 86.

213

COHTIHUED:

A small crowd and several reporters, including TV camera crews, are gathered around for a formal speech. The MAYOR is just finishing her remarks. Captain Pete Lassard stands behind her.

l1AYOR ••. But in a sense, this sar:ieethnic diversity gives our city its charm and its strength. And now, I'd like to introduce the man responsible for this fair. Captain Pete Lassarcl. Captain.

Lassard steps forward, beaming. He holds up a broom. The crowd applauds.

PETE LASSI\RD Thank you, Mrs. Mayor •••

214 NEARBY ALLF.:Y-SAl1ETIME 2111

Zed, the wild-eyed psychotic gang leader, approaches, followed by many members of the gang, more than wa've evor seen befo1e. Se"eral of them carry sticks and bats. They head toward the fair with a purpose.

2.15 AROUND CORNER -SAME TIME 215

Lou trots up, into the spirit of things, wearing a small pointed Latvian hat. He lifts his leg to urinate, but stops when he sees the GANG standing over him, smirking. LOU GROWLS. Z0d steps fromaround the corner. Lou stops growling and slinks to the ground,wagging his tail for forgiveness.

216

BACK AT FAIR

Lassard is into his speech.

PETELASSARD
This broom is just a symbol of a new spirit that's sweeping across this neighborhood.•••

Schtulman in the crowd, listening to the speech. Lou slinks up to him, hanging his head. The cloghas been spray painted all over with graffiti.

SCHTULM/UI Lou...? What happened to you?

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/84 87.

217

UP IN FERRIS WHEEL

Mahoney and Chloe are in an embrace. The ferris wheel stops.

CHLOE
We stopped.
MAHONEY
Good.

He starts to kiss her, but sees something on the ground that disturbs him.

MAHONEY (cont'd)
Maybe not so good •••
218

HAHOKEY'S POV - GANG MEMBER

is at the controls of the ferris wheel. He locks the brake and grins at them.

218A

IJPIN FERRIS WHEEL 218A •

Chloe takes off her shoe and hurls it.

CHLOE .. You bastards! •

219

BACK ON STAGE

Lassard is wrapping up his talk.

PETE LASSARD
And now, Mayor, if you'll help me, 'let's sweep crime off our streets' ..• for good.

He and the Mayor both grip the broom posing for photo- graphers. They are interrupted by loud SHRIEKING as the crowd suddenly panics. The TV CAMERAS suddenly wheel around to record --

220

GANG

bullying their way down the street, scattering the crowd ahead of them. Lassard is furious. He grabs the broom and wades toward the crowd, brandishing it like a club. but he is thrown back as the fleeing crowd runs into him.

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. ~0/10/Sq 87A.

221

UP IH FERRIS WHEEL

Mahoney is looking down at the melee.

221A

TILT-A-WHIRL

Highto~er is spinning around helpless.

222

GAKG MEMBER 22Z

with a baseball hat smashes a display of canned goods.

2Z3 AKOTIIERGI\IIGMEMBER 223

pushes over a booth with a man inside.

SEVERAL GAHG MEMBERS 224

push down an entire row of booths. They crash to the street. People scream.

225

JOIIES

speaking into a public address system.

JOKES
Rem.:incalm! The helicopters will arrive momentarily.

Jones makes chopper noise. A crowd of citizens runs him ~ over.

226

ESPECIALLY BIG GAMG MEMBER

shoves a couple Latvian contestants aside and picks up a tuna. He wheels and hurls it into the air with all his strength .•.

227

IMT. JAPANESE RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS ACTION

Tho same Chef we met earlier is sharpening a knife. The tuna comes crashing through the window. It lands in front of tl1eChef who starts cutting up the tuna without missing a beat.

228 ANOTHER GAl{GMEMBER 228

up on a light pole, takes out a knife and cuts dot.Jnthe banner. If falls into the milling crowd below.

229

PETE LASSARD

in the crowd, struggling to get out from under the banner.

(COMTlllUE:D)

PETE LASSARD
I'll kill 'em!
230

EXT. PRECIHCT BUILDING - DAY

An angry mob of people is outside the precinct. It seems the whole community has turned out to protest the ineffi- ciency of the police. The wreckage of the fair is * visible. ~

Fackler pushos his way through the mob on his way to work. He tips his hat to an old woman.

FACKLER
Good morning, ma'am.

The old lady slams him in the stomach with her heavy purse.

231

INT. CAPTAIN PETE LASSARD'S OFFICE - SAME TIME

Pete Lass::irdispacking up his possessions. lietiikes do1,1na1arge photo of Jack Wobb. He•s looking at it fondly when Mahoney and Schtulman walk pa5t the door and stop.

MAHONEY
Hi, Captain Lassard. Rearranging the office?
PETE LASSARD
Hope. Just getting my things together. I'm outta here.
MAHOIIEY
Why? You still have a week left. We can lloit .

PETE LASSJ\RD Thanks, son, but 1 know when I'm beaten.

MAHONEY
I'm sorry to hear that. Who's taking over?

Proctor sticks his head in the door.

PROCTOR
Mahoney. Captni11n~~~cr wants to see you in the squad room.

<COMTIllUED)

90. *

231

COHTINUED;

MAHONEY
(unbelieviny)
Captain Mauser?
232

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE SQUAD ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Mauser stands looking at himself in a full-length mirror with a sign over it that says, ''Howis your public appearance?• He is admiring a pair of shiny new Captain's bars on his shoulders. He breathes on them, shines them with his sleeve, puffs out his chest and steps into the squad room.

233 SQUAD ROOM - CONTJl(IIOUSACTION 233

As Mauser strides in, smirking intolerably.

MAUSER
From this moment on, I am the de facto commander of this precinct. Mow.
(turning threatening)
It's time to clear the air. On Thursday last, yours truly was the object of a disqusting personal attack. I want names.

The officers are silent.

MAUSER
(continuing)
All right. Have it your way. I'll suspend every one of you.

The guys look at each other. Mahoney stands up.

MAHONEY
I did it.

tlAUSER Mahoney .•. (unable to contain his joy> You're suspended.•. indefinitely.

SCHTULM/l.N You can't do that. You suspond him, you suspend me.

MAUSER
My pleasure. Anybody els~?

91• «

203

INT. CLUB ALLDCUFF BAR - NIGHT 2311

Mahoney, Schtulman, Lou and Pete Lassard are seated at a booth. Schtulman is looking at a cheeseburger, too depressed to eat.

SCHTULMAN
Lou... you want this?
(as Lou turns away)
Mahoney?
MAHONEY
No, thanks.

Lassard slams down his beer.

PETE LASSARD
Thirty-two years I gave this department, on 1yto be pushed out by a gang of punks.

MAIIOl{EY You did your best, sir.

FETE LI\SSARD If we could just find out where they come from ..•where they hang out. ••who their leader is.,.

SCHTULMl\ll I say we do what Baratta would do.

MAHOJIEY
What?

SCHTULMI\I{ Go untlercover... infiltratethe g~ng... got their confidence.

PETE LI\SS/\RD Think you could do it?

111\IIOHEY Me?

PETE LASSARD
You're young enough. tlell,you even looh lil<eone of those little bastards.

SCHTULMAN

(CONTINUED>

"POLICE ACADEMY II" -Rev, 10/10/84 92.

COHTIKUED:

Schtulman is excited. He starts to eat.

PETELASSARD
Okay, Mahoney, here's the deal. I can't offer you any salary ... not even expenses. If you get into trouble, Imight not be able to bail you out. It'll be dangerous and you could be killed.
MAHONEY
Sounds awfully tempting, sir.
235

EXT. DARK STREET - HIGHT

MUSIC BEGINS, a slow suspenseful pulse. We are CLOSE OH a pair of black pointed BOOTS, CLICKIHG down the pave- ment. We TILT UP SLOMLY to reveal Mahoney in a gang disguise. He sneers. Half a block behind him, a TRUCK rounds the corner. It BACKFIRES. Mahoney ilattens against an alley wall, petrified.

The MUSIC has STOPPED. Mahoney looks around, regains his sneer and starts walking again. The MUSIC STARTS UP again.

236

EXT. HARROW ALLEY - 11IHUTESLATER

Two gang members ~1alkTOW.I\RDus. Mahoney is hiding behind a corner, clutching a length of steel pipe, watching them.

MAHONEY
(under his breath)
Come on •••come on.

When they get within a few yards, Mahoney takes a doep breath and steps ;,.roundthe corner. Mahoney CLANGS the STEEL PIPE against the METAL GR/I.TINGcoveriuga shop window. It makes a hell of a racket. Mahoney ~cre~m5 like he's crazy. The gang merabershalt. They watch him wari 1y. Mahoney turns and runs down the street in the other direction, yelling and swinging the pipe as he goe:;. lie:,lo11:,Iouye10oughtoSl:11\SHaPHOHEBOOTH wii.h

,.

the PIPE.

237

GAJIGMEMBERS

start following Mahoney, keeping back, curious.

"POLICEACADEMY II" - Rov. 10/10/84 93.

238 l'IAHO}{EY 238

passes a shop window. It's the lighting store. Inside, the Merchant is up on a step ladder, hanging up a new chandelier. With an animal cry, Mahoney throws the pipe through the window. The Merchant is so startled he grabs the chandelier, kicking the ladder aside. He hangs on for dear life as the ALARMS sound. Mahoney runs. The chandelier drops.

238A DOJilHSTREET 238A

Mahoney is walking fast. The gang members are a few yards behind him.

l'!AHOKEY (under his breath) Come on, guys. Come to papa.

The gang members catch up with him. Mahoney keeps walk- ing, ignoring them.

FLACl<O Hey, man. What you doin'?

When Mahoney speaks, it is with a tough, street-wise accent.

MAllONEY (contemptuously) I ain't doin' nothln'.

FLACl<O How come you messed up that store?

MAHONEY
Because I felt like it.

This is the correct answer; they are impressed.

FLACKO
All right! I'm Flacko...
(indicating the black guy)
this here is Mojo.
MOJO
What do they call you, ~an?

{CONTINUED>

COl{TIllUF:D:

l'!AHOJIEY (at a losg) Uh.,, Ju\1hec1cl.

FLJ\C!(O Me and Hojo, ~e•1e Hitl1th0 SeuI .Iiens,Hho 1h y<JUc !«im,rn;,.n?

n«ho11eydoE>sn'tar,swPr,

FLrd.;~:o (cont inuin~> WI\()'syour9"nn?

tlAH011£Y ChP r:u,'tthin1,o{ anrth.ingelse) The Archir-~.

nol10 I «i?l~tJH~·.·~rhc:t:rdofnoArchi!?s.

t:l\lHHIF:'{ He USE>(ltob~ th~•~ur\pucl:ers!net t?ccb~ngE·rlil.

il~JO /\11righl, }'e:>h.I thin!!I h!o\J semi?f1H1;1ucJ:~1·sfr01:1Lholk·st Side.

FL!\C:KO Ile;·,r.1;,Jl,youshouldlie.,ithus.

1:/\HO!IEY llo!4doI !J"'ttohe a Seal1 ion?

FL.!\Cl:O (frcL•Hdn~> Sc\111ir-11,H~n.. .no lS{;a1lion.

L~OJO Do:1'tWOltY, ~c c~n gel you l11.

A lJJi~•htliy}Jl~J,iucsOHth,:1~~./\:::;q~r;;ric:~yi,:;t:1ilinp- th,;,m,ch,;,cl:i11~1tbc-,,.out.

FLI\Ct;U Chill out. lt's th~Man.

Th" squ:,dcar stops in front ol the"-!aaclOffj(:1;,rSistruni: g(:'t.sout.H~ E~JJ:.slou;11t1th•::··.ll«hon~ylar'1~,his:f;--.::2 <H-~='~-'°'sSi~trunh~hinc~hi!•flt1~d1t;~1htinLh,.)irf~!t:~s•

SISTRUNK
What you boys up to?

FLI\CKO l{othin'.

SISTRUNK
You know anything about some destruction of property a while ago?

110JO Haw, man. We ain't done nothin'.

SISTRUHK
Up against the car, Chico.

They obey. As Mahoney leans against the squad car, ho sees Jones sitting inside. Their eyes meet. Jones is shocked to see Mahoney, but says nothing. Sistrunk a11proacheswith the flash! i ght.lieputs his hands on Mahoney to frisk him, and as he doos, Mahoney grabs Sistrunk by the wrist, pins his arm behind his back and snatches his service revolver out ol its holster. He points it at Sistrunk.

MAHOIIEY
{to Jonos) Toss out your gun. Get out of the car. Move.

Jones obeys.

MAHOMEY
<continuing) Come around here. {indicating Sistrunk) Now take his handcuffs ofl. Put 'em on him.

Jones oboys, watching Mahoney weirdly but afraid to blow his cover.

MAHONEY
<continuing) Now rip his shirt.

Jones almost smiles. He rips Sistrunk's shirt. Ho's really enjoying this.

MAHOHEY
(continuing; to Sistruni:)
Bend over the hood.

<CONTINUED)

"POLICEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/8~ 96.

~38A COKTIKUED: ( 3) 238A

Sistrunk obeys.

MAHONEY
<continuing; to Jones) Kick him.

Jones kicks him. Jones looks at Mahoney and smiles. Mahoney winks.

MAHONEY
(continuing)
Harder. {as Jones kicks him harder) Good. How both of you, get away from the car.

They stand back. Sistrunk is looking at Mahoney, trying to figure out who he is.

MAHONEY
<continuing) Turn around.

They obey. Mahoney points the REVOLVER at thP.front tire of the car and FIRES. He quickly moves around the car, SHOOTING out all four tires. He FIRES another SHOT in the air.

MAHONEY
(continuing; to the cops)
Don•t move.

He takes off running. Flacko and Mojo catch up with him. Mahoney FIRES the last SHOT into the air, then throws the pistol back toward the car.

FLACKO
That was fantastic, man.
MOJO
You're all right, Jughead.
238B

INT. KIRKLAND FAMILY DEN - HIGHT 238B '-

Tackleberry and Kirkland are keeping the dinner date with her f olits.OLD 11AMKIRKLAKD is leaning by the mantle. He's thick-necked, beefy, and tough as nails. His son Bud is the spitting image of his fatheT, only tallar by a little bit and dumber by a lot. Kirkland sits next to Tackleberry on the sofa. If Tackleberry feels uncomfort- able, it's because Bud is grinning at ltim,like a loon.

CCOIITIMUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/t0/84 96A.

OLD MAH KIRKLAND
(cordi::illv> I was with the SeaBees, Tackleberry. Hell, I was all over the Pacific in '4'1. Che sizes Tackleberry up)
My little girl here tells me you're into self-defense.
TACKLEBERRY
That's quite correct, sir.

He smiles at Kirkland. The Old Man notices this.

KIRLAND
(to Tackleberry)
Daddy was middle-weight champion of the SeaBees.

OLD tll\NKIRKLAHD Yep. Bud here was once a Golden Gloves champ. But 1 bet I can still take him on.

BUD
(laughing> Hey, don't try me, Dad.
OLD MAH KIRKLAMD
(teasing)
I bet I could take you right now.
BUD
{good-naturedly) Okay, Dad, you aslredfor it.

Bud gets up and starts sparring around. The Old M~n joins him, feinting, dodging, all in good fun.

OLD MAH KIRKLAND
(chuckling)
Watch yourself, boy. I don't w:mn:i.hurtyou.

Sud~efily,with WAr1\i1,g,thoOld M~n punchas Bud in ti~ face, with a loud smacking sound. lt's a good solid right to the jaw. Bud shakes his he~d and grins,

BUD
(laughing)
Good one. Dad.

(CO){TIHUED)

"POLICEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/84 96B.

238B

CONTI HUED: <2)

Tackleberry is watching this, fascinated, his mouth slightly open.

OLD MAH KIRKLAND
You•ro gotting slow, son.

How Bud works inside and gives the Old Man two quick shots to the face with his bare knuckles.

BUD
Uh-oh. Hailed you that time, Dad.
OLD MAM KIRKLAND
Ha, ha. Sure did.

Old Man Kirkland lands him a solid blo14to the midsection and Bud staggers. The Old Man follows with a fierce uppercut to the chin.

BUD
Hey, hey. Nice shot.

Mrs. Kirkland enters, sweet, genial, somewhat giddy. She ·sees tho light and feigns surprise.

MRS. KIRl<LAIID (just joshing) You boys stop that foolishess and come to the table. Dinner's ready.

The Old Man and Bud stop sparring and put their arms around each other, real buddy-buddy. They're laughing. Blood trickles from the corner of Bud's mouth.

t!RS.KIRKLAND (continuing; smiling at Tackleberry) Honestly, when tho5e two get started they're like a couple of kids.

238C

INT. KIRKLAND DINING ROOM - MOMEKTS LATER Z38C

Everyone is seated around a table, eating pot roast. Bud's lip is swollen. lie~rins at raekleberry with his mouth full.

TACKLEBERRY
Excellent chow, Mrs. Tackleberry.

Mrs. Kirkland blushes and smiles at Old Man Kirkland who now wa:ns a l:age red welt on the bridge of his nose. The Old Man notices th~t T~ckleberry is struggling to cut his roast with a butter knife.

<COlfTIKUf.D)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/8~ 96C.

238C

COHTIKUED:

OLD MAN KIRKLAND
Tackleberry••• you can't cut meat with that thing.
(he picks up a carving knife} Think fast!

And Old Man Kirkland throws the knife at Tackleberry who miraculously catches it in mid iir.

TACKLEBERR'i (calmly) Thank you, sir. Much better.

He cuts the roast, takes a big bite. Old Man Kirkland nods at his daughter, approvingly.

239

IMT. SCHTULMAM' S GARAGE -DAY

Pete Lassard is showing Mahoney a big, clumsy lavalier microphone which is attached to a bulky apparatus, the size of a cheap transistor radio.

PETE LASSARD
This is a radio tran~mitter. Take off your shirt.

(CONTIKUED)

Q., ,'.

COIITIMUED:

M~honpy obeys, reluctantly.

111\l!Ol!SY Wh~1P did y()\I1:1ethisthing?

SCHTULIIAH
I hHilt it.

Mf\.!trJHEY (studying it su5pi- ciou:;ly} Why does it say 'MistAr MicrophotH~'?

SCH1'ULllAII Don't I-lorry.l m:itleafoIJ r.101\ifiC:'"Iti01\S.

Lnssard starts strapping th<?IH!,H•ytleviceonM:ihonoy'r, chr-stwith tap~.

M!1lJOJtF.:i' Ow. Ihat''5Loo ti~rld:.

lfprips th>"t:~r'!offtl;,hor:P.y•sdH1st,taliingsomechest hair ~,ithit. 11:ihonc;y1,Jinces.

M/l,JIC1/F.i' Thr!I''r,::,t:iIringme>tomr-!!i:th<:- lrn:idoftho gang.

PF.if,l.l\S~;ARD Good. As long :isthis tl1i»gis on, I'JJ h~.:l.tC?Vct)'~~or~lyotrsciy. J\tstgi~o m~ scna c1uns so I'll }:!"'o:..r1,:h,::,rr:-Y<n•?.l~.

11/\llOJWf Rinht. f:.10yousur~ ·thisi:;q')jnq i.ot.Jo:rk?

SCI!iUL111\H

Suddenly, fl01:,tl,otr:rnsmitlP.l,W<>he.irtheFAillTbut un~istakahlQ sound of ctPl'.~~F,l},l\J_.LGAfiL.

(CONTIHUED>

239 COIITil!UED:(2) ?.39

BASEBALL A.lll/OU~:er:11' SVO Ier: (filtciad, mutPd) Mump.hreysuing:;•.• it's ;:long driPD tori1rf1tfi~ld. Gai~g, going ..•~one. llolycoK!

Mahc,,ne'Ia11tlLil:;~ardlool<<ltSchtu Iman::cc:11~ingly. Sch t\1h\anretunes thf11,;t:ej1:eI•

SCllTULfl/I.fl Itdo~s thalsn~~times. lou j11sl J1q~e togiue it~ l?p.

l'l!\llOIIF:'i ( unco:1vincod)

212

EXT. GO!'.HF.!":ILLRFLTL!LR.JCIIHORLI()O))-L!\TERTL!!ITD/IY

tjt!honey,inhis g a!lITdi~g\.Ji3•?,isw~iting.Uf:'wea1s« hul}:~rco~t.lo c:otH:~:iltht:r;"ldiotran:c=it;Ltt~?.F~:H;l(onn!? Mojo pul! up in ~n c.1tl(;h,~v,-cc1:uerlib1e.n~~lr::t;?\'jiu""~"~.• in illldtheytill:,;,ofl.

Tl(SlDECl\!l

110\iO Hey, Juqh~:-i,I.Yous1~Qntin',m<ln. Hhy don.•t~Jou·tcd;Boffr{>~.-rco~t?

lihlrom:'l No... it•~ oJ(ny...

IHTEP.CUT:

Schtul!,,,rn~n,1Pel,,r.~~s:>rtiare!'IonitoI itl!Jti,<!ti;:!\S- ,:i;t.tcr.L•:•H!;.\t5h-;,~.c::r·i•HLL,.:·:!.1~0C';lH5t~11]l,~;::r n~ht)!?~Ytril~;ingO\TrJTther~t:~jV('~·.

tlAHO'lE't'SIJOJr..F.(cont'd) ... 1 ...uh... r J.J.};~to~L•-?;-i.t.

PETE LASS,'\.?D <worriPtl) J;,rnn!

tLl\l~Dl:F.'!'~VOJCF: t·lhere~J~goin•?

COHTIIIUEU:

..-.

FL/o.C/{O'SVOICE Tl1~t•sfor us to Jrnowand ycu tO •• •

Flacilo's'JOICEfJ\DES«s lh1,-siynalturnsto STATIC. Schtul1•:mJiddles 1,1iththr-lun,'r.

BACX IH CHEVY

FLJ\Cl<O Wait till ya11~oat Z•d.

1111..110!IE:y 7.C'Id?

f!./V.:J:C He's the !fan.

Al Iat one~ ue hP.~l lhP!=-ounOoft1U~1t. Maht'nC?}r'~(~e~1ic,2 h;t~Jd<;J:,:-rl\Jpanf!=ls\'1 i~i;enin~fr~t1io~t~ljun.

BAf.,i'11h!IILOH'SVOiCF. <filter~,l) I1-ni tetlrn__sC'l1rns__tl_1«_t_rnc1li~thr, ~~~o.i~1~~~lll!;:HU..Itj!!tq.!b'.'.1 ~~~\~L~·-~Jl{)V~~udsl~~~J~)___th.i.!lg.~.

11ah~ney isnear panic. lie fur~los 11,,~orl1lscoatto sliut th'?d:n,nthin~!oJI. Flad:~ \.!·,i:1lisit'sfro1nthec:ir radio.

ru-,c1:o (to t!ojo) He\', !leliig_<wdstalion, r.;:n.

MOJC
!.h~rn•\io~in't.c•ve>non.

FL!1.f:~•~O Chitting l1~jcen th!•' a1·r.1> i:f)11,no\J,')J~dc•1,s_i0'2.,j,Jtl.

nujo lu11Asi11lo11dLAiiltMUSI~. dro~9jng out B~rry th~nj1c~1.1•

~POLICE ACADEMY Jln -Rev. 10/10/84 100. r

2113

COHTIHUED:

FLACKO
(continuing)
That's cool.

Mahoney breathes a sigh of relief.

244

!HT. K-9 TRUCK

They•ze picilingup the same LATIN l1USIC. Lassarcl adjusts the signal.

PETE LASSARD
Come on, Mahoney. Talk to me.
245

EXT. L\BANDO!IEDZOO -11IIIUTESLATER

The Chevy pulls up. They drive along abandoned cages. It's very eerie.

BEAR CAVF. 245A

As the Chevy pulls up. A rope bridge stretchos across the moat which is full of scummy greenwater.

MAHONEY
What the hell is this?
FLACKO
Used to bewhere they kept the bears.

They get out. Mahoney follows them across th!!bridgo.

2'15B INT. BEAR CAVE -CONTINUOUS ACTION 245B

Flacko and Mojo leadMahoney into the gloomy cavern which is lit by torches. It's very spooky. Mahoney is aware of severalmembers of the gang glaring at him. The CAMERA FOLLOWS as they walk deep into the cave. Mahoney notices a vast hoard of merchandise. Gang members are stackin!1 car storeos, TV's, bieyele wheels, anything of VaJUI::!a

245C

AMOTHER ANGLE

As they reach the entrance to Zed•s private throne room. They are stopped by a huge 1~0111anguard.

(CONTI.HUED)

"POLICE ACADEl1YII" - Rev. 10/10/84 \01.

21!5C CONTINUED; 2l!SC

FLACKO
This here's Jughead. He wants to see Zed.

She blocks l'lahoney'spath.

l'IOJO Hey. He's cool.

She looks Mahoney over, then decides to let him pass. As soon as they're safely out of range, Mojo says:

MOJO
(continuing)
l'm gonna have to kick her ass one of these days.

21!5D !HT. ZED'S THRONE RROM 2115D

He is watching a stolen TV. A sappy show like the Brady Bunch is OK. He's mesmerized. The three enter.

FLACKO
Zed .••?
ZED
What do you want?

He kicks the TV to the floor. It lands beside several other busted sets.

FLACKO
There's somebody I want you to meet. I think he'd be a good Scullion.
ZED
You don't think, Flacko. You ask.

Zed approaches Mahoney, sizing him up.

ZED
(continuing} What do they call you?

l'IAHOKEY Jughead.

ZED
That's sucks.

11AHOKEY I been thinking of changing it.

"POLICE ACADEMY 11" - Rev. 10/10/81! 102.

2'15D CONTINUED:

Zed Iinds this amusing. He sneers. l'lahoneytakesout a cigarette, his hand shaking slightly.

ZED
What you so nervous about?
MAHONEY
This place weirds me out.

2'16 OMITTED 21\6 thru thru 2'18 2'11.l

2119

INT. K-9 TRUCR 2IJ9

MAHONEY'S VOICE
(from the receiver)
It smells like animal shit.
SCHTULMAN
(stunned)
They took him to my place?
PETE LASSARD
Shhh.
MAHONEY'S VOICE
(confused)
The Zoo?
( realizing)
Jesus! The old 200!
218

EXT. K-9 TRUCK 250

wheels around, heads back in the s::1medirection.

BACKAT BEARCAVE 250A 250A

Mahoney is trying to light the cigarette with a lighter that doesn't work.

ZED
You need a light?
MAHONEY
Yeah.

Zed dips his hand into a bowl of clear liquid. He passes his hand over a candle and the hand bursts into flame! He holds it up to Mahoney who lights his cigarette. The flam~ goes out. Zed smiles wickedly, but his face goes darllas he hears the so\lndof FAINT MANIACAL LAUGHTER. Mahoney' sradio has picked \Illalocal com~erical.

<CONTIKUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/23/8~ 103.

250A

CONTIHUED:

RADIOANNOUNCER'S VOICE
(filtered)
Sunday, Sunday! At Raceway Park!! Dragsters, top-fuelers ...Big Bob Badham and his funny cars!

Zed grabs Mahoney and shoves him against the wall. The SOUND STOPS.

ZED
You're wired.
MAHONEY
You're crazy.
250B

BACK TO K-9 TRUCK

ZED'S VOICE
(from reciever)
You set me up!

Suddenly the TRANSM!SSIOK STOPS and there is nothing but STATIC. Lassard picks up his radio microphone.

PETE LASSARD
<into 1nille) We've got a 997 at the abandoned zoo. Mahoney needs help urgently!

& &

253

!KT. RADIO DISPATCHER'S ROOM - SAME TIME

Hooks has heard the call. Proctor is listening.

HOOKS • Mahoney's in trouble. • {into mike) .. All units we have a 992 at the old • abandoned zoo. •

Proctor grabs the mike.

PROCTOR
What are you doing?
HOOKS
I'm calling for assistance. Mahoney's in trouble.

{COKTIKUED)

npoLICE ACADEMY IIff- Rev. 10/23/8~ 10I!•

PROCTOR
Mahoney is suspended. You'll • do nothing of the kind. •

Hooks decks him with a solid hayroaker. She grabs the mike and shouts into it.

HOOKS
Police!! Ma.honey'sin trouble!!
222

INT. SQUADCAR - SAME TIME

Jones and Sistzunk are listening.

HOOKS' VOICE
(filtered)
A 997 at the abondoned zoo. Hurry!

Sistrunk doesn't respond.

JOKES
997 -- that means a cop's in jeopardy, so move it, asshole.

.. SISTRUIIK :r: I'll move it, mother.

255

EXT. SQUAD CAR - COHTIHUOUS ACTION

Sistrunk PEELS OUT, directly iSLlothe path of an oncoming garbage truck. The squad car is creamed, out of commis- sion

255A

INT. DOOLEY'S CAR - SAME TIME

HOOKS' VOICE
Mahoney needs help!

Fackler and Dooley try to throw their milkshakes out of the closed car windows. It splatters everywhere. Dooley takes off, fast.

Z55B EXT. DOUGHNUT SHOP - CONTINUOUS ACTION 255B

As the squad car careens out of the parking lot on two wheels.

: !:

"POLICE ACADEtlYII" -Rev. l0/10/Slt 105.

258 I KT.HIGHTOl~ER• S JI THEY-SAMETI l'IE 258

Hightower's driving as fast as he can, his jaw clenched in determination.

259

EXT. AK IHTERSECTIOK -SAME TIME

Several cars move aside aswe hear a loud yelping SIREH. Jones zips through the cars on a bicycle clutching a bull- horn. He makes the siren sound again, changing to a steady wail ashe pedals OUT OFFRAME.

259A

IHT.BEAR CAVE - SAME TIME 259/\

Zed is aiming a black .~5 automatic at Mahoney. Flacko andMojo stand back.

ZED
Flacko, man, you brought a E.Q.Ein here.
FLACKO
<weakly) I didn't thinllhe was a...

Zed turns the gun on Flacko.

ZED
(shouting)
Shut up!

Mahoney sees a slim chance and kicks Zed in the crotch as hard as he can. Incredibly, Zed is unfa2ed. His face twists with rage.

ZED
(continuing} Don't make me flare my nostrils.
259B

EXT. BEAR CAVE ENTRANCE - SAME TIME

Pete Lassard has taken command. He is explaining a plan to Hightolder,Fackler, Dooley, Schtulman and Lou. He points to a hard-drawn map.

PETE LASSARD
Don't fire unless you absolutely have to. I don"t want Mahoney hurt. Hightower?
HIGHTOWER
Yes, sir.

<COKTIIHIED)

"POLICEACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/23/8~ 106.

PETE LASSARD
I want you and Jones to cross the bridge and wait just outside the entrance till you hear my signal •••

Mauser approaches, furious. LOU SNARLS at him.

NAUSER
Well, well, well. Former Captain Pete Lassard. What are you doing?
PETE LASSARD
Making a plan of attack. There's an air vent on top of that cave. I"m going in through there.
MAUSER
Like hell you are. I'm in charge here. I make the plans.

LASSARD • Very well Mauser. "'

MAUSER
(points at "' Captains bars) s Captain Mauser. "'

Lassard starts to respond, but holds his temper.

MAUSER
(continuing)
Fackler, come with me.
FACKLER
J.lhere?

rll\USER (as if he's an idiot for asking) Up to the air vent.

Yackler shrugs, shoulders a long rope and follows Mauser toward the cave.

259C

INT. CAVE - SAME TIME

Zed lowers the pistol.

ZED
Let's settle this my way.

Zed props his elbow on the table. Mahoney assumes he wants to arm wrestle. He's relieved.

(COMTINUf.D)

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/23/8~ 106A.

259C

CONTINUED: <A1>

MAHONEY
Okay, but I gotta ~arn you. I do push-ups.

Mahoney clasps Zed's hand. Suddenly Mojo lashes their 1~riststogether.

(COl{TINUED)

"POLICE ACADEMY Il" - Rev. 10/10/8~ 107.

259C

COMTIMUED:

MAHOHEY
(continuing)
Is this really necessary? I won't move my elbow.

Flacko slaps a big switchblade into Mahoney's hand. Zed whips out a knife that's even bigger.

MAHOIIEY.
(continuing; to Flacko)
You wouldn't have a machete, would you?
259D

EXT. BEAR CAVE - SAME TIME

Mauser and Fackler are climbing the wall of the bear cave. Fackler slips, but he regains his footing.

MAUSER
Come on!
259E

EXT. ENTRAIICETO CAVE - SAL1ETI MT 25CJE

Jones and Hightower cross the bridge, sneaking so as not to alert the gang inside. Jones still carries bullhorn.

259F

INT. CAVE - COIITIKUOUSACTION

They slip inside, revolvers drawn. They inch forward. Suddenly Hightower stops short as he soes a couple of rats peering at them from the darkness. Hightower is petrified.

HIGHTOMF.R
(hoarse whisper)
Wait!
JONES
(whispering)
What is it?

HIGHTO~IJ::R I can'tgo in.

JONES
Why?
HIGHTOWER
I'm scared of rats.

(COKTIHUED)

hPQLICEACADEMY II~ - Rev. 10/10/Sq 108.

JONES
You're kiclding.

One look at Hightower's stricken face tells Jones that the big man can't go on.

259G

INT. THRONE ROOM - SAME TIME

The knife fight has begun. Zed and Mahoney circle each other. Zed slashes out, cutting rlahoney•scoat. They work their way up the steps.

259H

EXT. TOP OF CAVE

Mauser is rigging a rope to descend through the air vent. Fackler looks down --

259-I

FACKLER'S POV - CAVE BELOW 259·1

A dizzying forty feet down. It's crawling with armed gang members who surround Zed and Mahoney.

259J

MAUSER AND FACKLER

MAUSER
Okay. Down you go.
FACKLER
<surprised) Me?
MAUSER
That's an ordor, Fackler.
259K

INT. BEAR CAVE

Zed has the upper hand in the knife fight. Mahoney loses his switchblade. Zed grins.

259L

TOP OF CAVE

Fackler is fumbling with the rope.

MAUSER
Move it!

Fackler trips, bumping into Mauser and sending him through the hole. Mauser fall~, screaming.•.

"POLICEACADEMY 11" - Rev. 10/10/8~ 109. z

259M

INT.BEAR CAVE - CONTINUOUS ACTION 25911

As Mauser falls head first, the rope trailing behind him. At the last second, just four or five feet from the ground, the rope stops him! He dangles upside-down, shrieking helplessly.

259H

JONES

cha;rgesin, gun drawn.

259-0 GANG MEMBERS 259-0

open FIRE at him.

259P

JONES 2591'

retunrs FI RES.

Z60 011MITTED 260 thru thru

Z69 ZED 269

pushes Mahoney ahead of him, holding the knife against his throat.

270

MAUSER

is caught in a CROSSFIRE. BULLETS WHIZ all around him while he spins at the end of the rope, his wi(lhanging by a piece of tape.

270A

JONES 2701\

EMPTIES his REVOLVER. He ducks behind a corner, and grabs the bullhorn. He make~ a deafening machine gun sound.

271 OfllTTED 271 thru thnt

GANG 11El1BERS

scatter and run for their lives.

"POLICEACADEtlY I I"- Rev. 10/10/81! 110. t

271JA

PASSAGEWAY

Zed pushes Mahoney ahead of him. He stops long enough to cut the cords binding their wrists. Zed takes out the

246

L!SAND PUTS IT TO MAHONEY'S HEAD.

ZED
Move!
271JB

EXT. EHTRAHCE TO CAVE

Several gang members flee across the rope bridge. High- tower is waiting at the other end. Ho grabs the bridge and flips them off. They fall into the scummy water below.

271!C INT. STAIRWAY OUT 27l!C

Flacko, Mojo and the big ~oman·scramble up the stairs, heading for a small door. REVEAL Officer Dooley waiting for thorn. He trips a LEVER which CLANGS into place, locking them insido.

DOOLEY
Sorry, boys.

271!D EXT. ENTRANCE TO CAVE 271JD

More gang members try to cross the bridge. Hightower flips them into the water.

271JE

INT.ANOTHER EXIT 274E

Namu reaches an exit door, only to find it locked. With all his strength, he breaks the door. He crawls out, only to see ...

271!F LOU

waiting for him, creeping forward, GRO!~LIHG. Lou charges. chewing on Namu's leg.

271JG

INT. PASSAGEL~AY 274G

Zed shoves Mahoney up the stairs. The door at the top is open. It's a way out •

250

·-·

thru thru

''POLICEACADEMY ll" -Rev. 10/10/8'1 1 1 1•

279

CAPTAIK PETE LASSARD

steps out of the shadows, aiming a snub-nosed .38 direct- ly at Zed.

PETE LASSARD
(calmly; evenly)
Drop the gun.
ZED
<shouting> No!

Now Zed is pointing the .IJSatLassan!. It's a stand-off.

ZED
(continuing: voice trembling)
You won't shoot. You got no guts!
PETELASSARD
Inthzee more seconds, you got no brains.

And Lassard calmly backs the hammer of the .38. Zed's hand trembles. He breaks, lets out a howl and drops the gun to the steps with a clatter. Lassard relaxes his stance. Zed reaches for another gun at the small of his back. Mahoney sees this and swings from the overhead bars,knocking Zed down. They struggle. Zed reaches for the gun, just beyond his grasp. A big boot steps on his wrist. Zed looks up to see --

280

SCHTULMAK

standing there, gr inning athim. Schtulman tal<esa Jiite out of a pink Hostess snowball.

280A

JONF:S

runs up and subdues Zed. Mahoney gets up and dusts him- self off.

PETE LASSARD
(t.oMo.honey)
Thanlls.

Jones snaps the cuffs on Zed. Lassard walks up to him, raises the .38 toward the ceiling the squee~as thQ TRIGGER. It just CLICKS.

PETE LASSARD
I stopped carrying livQ ammo in '73.

(CONTINUED>

,

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev, 10/10/84 1ltA.

280A

COKTIKUED: 2801\

Mahoney, to Zed,who is red-faced with anger:

MAHOHEY
He showed you the thing with the gun. How, come on ..•how'd you do the trick with the fire?

Zed flares his nostrils. Jones takes him away.

282

EXT. CAVE - MOMEKTS LATER

Tackleberry and Kirkland ROAR up on Tackleberry•s MOTOR- CYCLE, carrying every weapon they could get their hands on. Thoy charge up to Hightower breathing hard.

TACKLEBERRY
What's the situation?
HIGHTOWER
It's all over.
T.A.CKLEBERRY
Any gunplay?

HlGHTOWER Oh, yeali! You missed it •••

Tackleherry lets out a little whimper of disappointment. Kirkland takes o[[ her helmet, kicks it. Tackleberry comes over and puts his arlftaround her,trying to comfort her.

283

INT. CAVE - SAME TIME

Everyone has forgotten about Mauser. He is still swing- ing from the rope. Lou charges in and begins to snap at him.

MAUSER
Heyyyy!

2811

284

EXT. POLICE ACADEMY CHAPEL

As the BELLS CHIME. We TlLT DOWN TO the front doors of the chapel. An honorary guard of policemen, in full- dress uniforms, raise their swords, crossing them in traditional military fashion. Tackleberry in full dress uniform and Kirkland in a wedding dress walk be- neath them.

<COHTINUEP>

"POLICE ACADEMY II" - Rev. 10/10/811 111B.

2811

COHTIHUED: 284

As he passes, Tackleberry reaches out and feels one o! the swords.

TACKLEBERRY
(to the policeman> Put an edge on that thing.
285

ERIC LASSARD 2115

is watching the wedding party. Hightower joins him.

HIGHTOWER
Commandant •••I want you to meet my fol11s.

<COHTIHUED)

1

12•

2115 COiliIHUED: 285

tir.a11(1Mrs.Hightower slep out from behind their son. They are t;r,-allpeople.F.:~J'l>Ci~llyMr.Higlitow;,r,who c;in'tbo more than five-foot-lour.

ERlC LASSAl!D Hr>l-1doyouclo,••

286 JONF.S ?.ft()

has his hack lo u~, tnhing pictures. At least ~e c~n hear the unmistal:aiileCLlCKanti1-llUH.o!amotor-di·ive Cfl.l!F.RJ\.Thr>rROn:ss!O!!!~LPl!OTC!GR1\fliERln!i:,psintohln.

NI'lTOGRtH'I/ER Excusn 1:u>.

Jonps turns ~1O\J1H?:lHd"'snaps~pictuni" of the !'hoto- grapher. But he h~s no c~mer~. He r.i~kesth:.~s>t.i}1.t~ again. He inin5.

WF.llllllit;PJ\RTY ?.J\"/

i!;posing !or rholos on the slei;!iofthe ch,q.>~1. l·:1r,~l.:>ndrais~!;the-lu~:flof1i~~tt.:edcfin~tt<H~ntot:--.J.:P. off h<?r!J"TT.<11.Asm,tll!e,·t,lvr.risstr.>ppP.1!lolt,•I lC'!.J.SlH?to55e5h'::'Ifl(!:!'.'l:f.11tow~itinghrid~5!'H~i(1~. Lou leat'Silltho :iir.catches it, hring:;it lo ;:pl<•\Jcl Schtul~an who is st,.1ffinghi~far-~wilh hors cl'oeuvr~:,.

SCl!TUU!!\JI J\11right, L<>\lIl!;iu~~shrir.1p J~11.

288 MAl!OllEYAl!llC1\Pill.JNn:n:L(\SSA!rn

~rG t.!:ltchingtheHP(ltli11gp:lrtr,enjoyill!Jit.

1'1::rcL/lS<;/\RD Wh0.rc~'t'U~toin~.1ao~J~~~nc:}:t1Jth~ heel.ch?

1AflOIH::l 1 c.lc-n•t]~now.

T'E1'E!.A~SJ\P.ll You cuulil~~llck n,oun~. Bright guy Iiht?you c01.1ldm:il:t?Licutenant. And l'm go11n;ir:t=-ud•~Hc•::rHatch Co..im~.ndt~!•

(COllTIXUf.:!l)

288 COllTIIHIED:

Maloor,~yisloohing at Chloe who looks al,:;oulutely uorgeous.

rlJ\!IOJIEY Wit~·not1 1t•s not such :1hail noigltlwrhoccl.

289 'I'I\Cl-'.LEBF.RR'l

climbs on his rnotorcy<,l<!which!msa "Just r.:ni:it>rl" sign on it. Klrl:l;,:ulciet:.onbQhin!ihit.i.

290 ME~:BERSOF ~IED!lHIGI'!\r.TY 290

I<lP.!:Lfdll)Ff\:'llLY z'),

/1.sth,·JI1~:i1•()r1oodhJI~.Budl:irl;la11dcnn'thn!phiasnlf. }lei,ipas~~~y tc~rs. O)ci1~\~11J:tr}{landpunche~hi;:!on lhe j<UJ.

A uni£orl1\e1loff ic<>J1!'(Iin>ctin•itr.1fficinfrontofthr. ch~1r~1. He turns ~1o!ind. lt•s 1·1ncst1r,t.!r.-~1ingnsingle r.trip-~whf'·lOhisC2pt~in'sbtirsu:0°:!d·1.:ol;e.H291<,r~s al ,~~l1l(~hrr1y,~~ti~ns}1ir1on.

MAilSJ::?. He11•.•? C('l'-:E,{HI.tlc,1JPilf

T~ckl<>h<.!rl)';11Hl!:irl:1:mrldo:1~1hr.>elsta11:!onth~Ci'.CLl::, ROPiRl}~Gtouar(lM~u:;q,r,t!h{'Jl<~:1;•!lcutoft.h~w~yaTh~ 1t.otorcyc:ll'ta!:c>soffdo~:nth-~streot,•:irld;i,nd's1:,,c!- diEg got4nfl1in~ in t.hr-!,~i r,'.:.

RULL C:REDiiS,

FADE Ol!I.