We PAN OVER an empty swimming pool filled with Barden’s a
cappella groups, partying. The Trebles hold court.
A crowd of fans have formed around the pool. STUDENTS scale
ladders to get into the pool area.
Across the pool, Jesse joins Benji.
JESSE
Hey, man, here to help out?
BENJI
Yep. I’m ready to tag in.
BUMPER
Dude! You can’t be in here.
BENJI
(sings)
I KNOW! Just wanted to hear myself in the sweet spot.
Benji climbs out. Aubrey leads the Bellas to their corner.
To get everyone’s attention, The BU Harmonics make police
siren noises. Justin stands next to a huge pinwheel.
ON THE WHEEL: A handful of varied musical categories.“Songs
About Sex”, “Ugly Lead Singers”, “Ladies Of The 80s”, “Hair
Bands”, “Christian Rock.” Justin addresses the room.
JUSTIN
Welcome to the riff-off! Our 17th annual singing elimination contest. The winning team wins the greatest prize of all.
(holds up a microphone)
The microphone used by Hoobastank when they rocked out at the Schnee Performing Arts Center.
The crowd goes nuts.
JUSTIN (CONT’D)
To win, you must steal the song away from the group that is singing by picking off a word of their song and making it the first word of yours. If you can’t think of a song, you are...
(claps twice)
Cut off. If you repeat a song, you are...
More people clap with Justin.
JUSTIN/SOME PEEPS
Cut off.
JUSTIN
If you suck, you are...
Everyone claps twice.
ALL
Cut off.
CYNTHIA ROSE
This is really intricate.
Jesse waves to Beca. Then, he mouths and gestures:
JESSE
I’m taking you down.
Beca mouths back, “I don’t care.”
JUSTIN
Last year’s ICCA champions, will you please do the honor.
Bumper steps up and spins the wheel.
JUSTIN (CONT’D)
Good Luck. God, I wish I could do what you do... Okay, the first category of songs will be...
Justin abruptly stops the wheel. It’s landed on “Ladies Of
The 80s.” Everyone cheers! Bumper immediately starts
singing Toni Basil’s, “Mickey.” The Trebles join him.
BUMPER
OH MICKEY YOU’RE SO FINE YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND...
BU TREBLEMAKERS
HEY, MICKEY! HEY MICKEY!
ALL TREBLES
OH MICKEY YOU’RE SO FINE --
The song is quickly stolen by Barb and the BU Harmonics who
sing Madonna’s, “Like A Virgin.”
BARB
YOU”RE SO FINE, AND YOU’RE MINE, I’LL BE YOUR YOURS TILL THE END OF TIME, CAUSE YOU MADE ME FEEL...
BU HARMONICS
YEAH YOU MADE ME FEEL, SHINY AND NEW. LIKE A VIRGIN. HEY! TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. LIKE --
Aubrey steals with Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best
Shot.”
AUBREY
LIKE THE ONE IN ME. THAT’S OKAY LET’S SEE HOW YOU DO IT! PUT UP YOUR DUKES, LET’S GET DOWN TO IT!
BELLAS
HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT! WHY DON’T YOU HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT! HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT, FIRE AWAY --
A MEMBER from The High Notes steals with Roxette’s “Must Have
Been Love.” He/She can’t help laughing.
STONER
(laughs hysterically)
AWAY! IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE...
THE HIGH NOTES
BUT IT’S OVER NOW! MUST HAVE BEEN... LOVE...
STONER
BUT WE’RE IN A SWIMMING POOL. I HAVEN’T SHOWERED TODAY!
The CROWD boos.
JUSTIN ALL
The negative effects of
medicinal marijuana, folks.
You are... (claps twice)
(claps twice) Cut off!
Cut off!
BECA
(to Chloe)
You can pick any song that works?
(off Chloe’s nod)
And you just go with it... Nice.
Justin spins the wheel. This time it lands on “Christian
Rock.” Barb, baloney boobs a bouncin’, jumps in with “ONE
DAY.”
BARB
BECAUSE/ ALL MY LIFE I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR I’VE BEEN PRAYING FOR FOR THE PEOPLE TO SAY THAT WE DON’T WANNA FIGHT NO MORE THEY’LL BE NO MORE WARS AND OUR CHILDREN WILL PLAY/ ONE DAY/ ONE DAY/ ONE DAY/ ONE DAY/ ONE DAY/ ONE DAY
The crowd boos.
JUSTIN
“ONE DAY” By Matisyahu. Bonus props for trying to sneak a Hasidic Jew into the Christian Rock category but, you are...
(claps twice)
Cut off! Two groups remain!
(MORE)
53A.
JUSTIN (CONT'D)
(out-of-his-mind)
Don’t just bring it, sing it!!
The wheel spins and lands on “Songs About Sex.” Chloe
immediately starts to scream sing, Rihanna’s, “S&M.”
CYNTHIA ROSE
NA NA NA NA NA COME ON/CAUSE I MAY BE BAD, BUT I’M PERFECTLY GOOD AT IT/SEX IN THE AIR, I DON’T CARE, I LOVE THE SMELL OF IT/STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT CHAINS AND WHIPS EXCITE ME...
CYNTHIA ROSE (CONT’D)
CAUSE I MAY BE BAD BUT I’M PERFECTLY GOOD AT IT/SEX --
Bumper sings, Salt n Pepa’s, “Let’s Talk About Sex.”
BUMPER
SEX BABY/LET’S TALK ABOUT YOU AND ME/LET’S TALK ABOUT ALL THE GOOD THINGS AND THE BAD THINGS THAT MAY BE...
BU TREBLEMAKERS
LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX/LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX/LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX BABY - -
Stacie steps up singing BOYZ II MEN’S, “I’ll Make Love To
You.” ANGLE ON: Everyone’s reaction.
STACIE
BABY ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT/I’LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU, WHEN YOU WANT ME TO/AND I --
Jesse steals with Foreigner’s, “Feels Like The First Time.”
He sings to Beca. Aubrey rolls her eyes.
JESSE
I GUESS IT’S JUST THE WOMAN IN YOU, THAT BRINGS OUT THE MAN IN ME/I KNOW I CAN’T HELP MYSELF, YOU’RE ALL IN THE WORLD TO ME...
CLOSE ON Beca, locked in, focused in a way we haven’t seen
her around a cappella. She begins mouthing words to the song.
BU TREBLEMAKERS
IT FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME/ IT FEELS LIKE THE VERY FIRST TIME/IT --
Beca jumps in, LOUD, rapping Blackstreet’s “No Diggity.”
BECA
IT’S GOING DOWN FADE TO BLACKSTREET/THE HOMIES GOT RB, COLLAB’ CREATIONS/ BUMP LIKE ACNE, NO DOUBT/I PUT IT DOWN, NEVER SLOUCH/AS LONG AS MY CREDIT CAN VOUCH/A DOG COULDN’T CATCH ME ASS OUT/TELL ME WHO CAN STOP WHEN DRE MAKING MOVES/ATTRACTING HONEYS LIKE A MAGNET/GIVING EM EARGASMS WITH MY MELLOW ACCENT/STILL MOVING THIS FLAVOUR/WITH THE HOMIES BLACKSTREET AND TEDDY/THE ORIGINAL RUMP SHAKERS...
Stunned by Beca’s performance, no one moves. Beca goes
deeper into the song...
BECA (CONT’D)
SHORTY GET DOWN, GOOD LORD BABY GOT EM UP OPEN ALL OVER TOWN STRICTLY BIZ, SHE DON’T PLAY AROUND
Fat Amy joins her.
FAT AMY
COVER MUCH GROUND, GOT GAME BY THE POUND/GETTING PAID IS A FORTE/ EACH AND EVERY DAY, TRUE PLAYER WAY I CAN’T GET HER OUT OF MY MIND... I THINK ABOUT THE GIRL ALL THE TIME EAST SIDE TO THE WEST SIDE
BECA/FAT AMY/ALL
I LIKE THE WAY YOU WORK IT
I LIKE THE WAY YOU WORK IT
NO DIGGITY, I GOT TO BAG IT UP, BAG
IT UP/HEY YO HEY YO HEY YO HEY...
A beat. The ladies look at each other, “That was awesome.”
Then, the crowd boos.
JUSTIN
Tough blow. The word from the song you needed to match wasit. You sang it’s. I didn’t stop you because, and I think I can speak for everyone, I could not believe what I was watching. You are...
(claps twice) Cut off.
Justin raises Jesse’s hand.
JUSTIN (CONT’D)
The Trebles win!
The crowd applauds as the boys pick up their prize. Then,
Bumper steps up to Fat Amy.
BUMPER
Enjoy watching us win the ICCA’s.
(gets closer)
On the TV.
(gets even closer)
On a regional cable affiliate.
As he walks away,
FAT AMY
I’m gonna break that jag in half.
Beca turns to this rag-tag group of girls.
BECA
What we just did was great, right?.
AUBREY
Calm your pits, Beca. We still lost.
BECA
Yeah, but it was spontaneous. There were no rules. And we were...
Aubrey puts her hand out, interrupting Beca.
AUBREY
Hands in. “AHHH” on my count.
STACIE
On three or afterthree?
CYNTHIA ROSE FAT AMY
On three. After three.
CYNTHIA ROSE
No. It’s one, two, “AHHH.”
AUBREY
That’s not how we do it.
BECA
What about just “AHHH” with no count off?
STACIE
Why can’t we figure this out?
This debate continues as we TRANSITION to...