"LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE" (2006)

STATS110pages134scenes19,440words38%dialogue54characters

Words

  • dialogue7,43338%
  • action10,72655%
  • other1,2816.6%

Scenes

location
  • INT 90
  • EXT 35
  • INT/EXT 1
  • UNKNOWN 8
time
  • DAY 80
  • NIGHT 23
  • DAWN 1
  • CONT 1
  • UNKNOWN 29
1

OPEN

Little Miss Sunshine

by

Michael Arndt

10/9/03

ECU - VIDEO PIXELS

Five young women stand side by side,waiting to be judged -- * breathless, hopeful. A name is announced. Four hearts break. *

The camera ZOOMS across the smiles of the losers to finda winner.* She bursts into tears,hugs the nearest runner up. *

Begin CREDITS.

MUSIC -- quiet and melancholy -- plays over all the opening scenes/ leading to the Title card.

The Contest Winner cries and hugs the Runners-up asshe has the tiara pinned on her head. Then -- carrying her bouquet --she strolls down the runway,waving and blowing kisses.

2

INT. BASEMENTREC ROOM - DAY

A six-year-old girl sits watching theshow intently.

This is OLIVE. She is big for her age and slightly plump.

She has frizzy hair and wears black-rimmed glasses.She studies the show very earnestly.

Then, using aremote, she FREEZES the image.

Absently/ she holds up one hand and mimics the waving style of Miss America. She REWINDS the tape and starts all over .

3

AGAIN, M1SSAMERICA HEARS HER NAME ANNOUNCED,AND ONCE AGAIN

breaks down in tears --overwhelmed and triumphant.

RICHARD (V.O.)
There'stwo kinds of people in this world-- Winners...and Losers.
4

INT. CLASSROOM- DAY

RICHARD (45)stands at the front of a genericcommunity
college classroom-- cinderblock walls,industrial carpeting.

He wears pleated khaki shorts, a golf shirt,sneakers. He moves with the stocky, stiff-leggedgait of a former athlete. His peppy, upbeat demeanor just barely masksa seething sense * of insecurity and frustration. MUSICcontinues underneath. *

RICHARD
If there'sone thing you take away from the nine weeks we've spent, it should be this:Winners and Losers. What's the difference?

Richard turns with a remote and clicks through aPower Point presentation, projected on the wall behind him.

The slidesnum~c Darwin's "Evolution ofMan" chart, except that theyshow a lumpy, hunched-over, sad-sack "Loser"evolve into a smiling,triumphant, arms-over-his-head \\Winner".

RICHARD {cont'd) Winners see their dreamscome true. Winners see what they want,they go out and they get it. They don't hesitate. They don't make excuses. And they don't give up. Losers don't get what they want. They hesitate. They make excuses. And they give up. On themselves and their dreams.

Richard putsdown his remote for the big finale. In the dim half-light, it'sa hushed, dramatic moment.

RICHARD {cont' d) Inside each of you -- at the very core of your being-- is a Winner waiting to be awakened ... and unleashed upon the world. With my nine step"Unleash the Winner Inside" program,you now have the tools,the know-how, the insights you need to put your losing habits behind you and make yourdreams come true. No hesitating! No excuses! I want you to go out into the world... and beWinners~

Big smile.

REVERSEANGLE -~ There are twenty STUDENTSin a classroom that could seattwo hundred. TheyCLAP half-heartedly.

Then there's an awkward moment when everyone gathers their stuff. No one says anything. ChairsSCRAPE the floor.

SHERYL (V.O.) *
... Yeah,I,mon my way now. *
5

INT. CAR - DAY

A woman, SHERYL, 40s, is smoking and talking ona cell phone as she weaves through a strip-malllandscape. She wears * office attire and a name tag that reads,\'Sheryl". *

SHERYL
... I don'tknow how long ...I don't know...! Richard, he doesn't have anywhere else to go!

She takes a drag, listens with increasing irritation,then exhales. A beat.

SHERYL(cont'd)
I'm not smoking... I'm not! Look, I'm at the hospital ... {beat) Yeah, I'll pick up a bucket of chicken. Okay, bye.

Shebeeps off her phone.

6

EXT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

Sherylstrides anxiously down a hospital corridor,fingering a,small cross on her necklace, going from oneroom to another, checking room numbers. She finds the room she's looking for.

As she tries to enter, a DOCTORemerges. They nearly collide.

DOCTOR
Ms. Harvey? {Sherylnods) Your brother's fine ...

Sheryl exhales, hugely relieved.

7

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

In a wheelchair, parked againsta wall, is Sheryl's brother, F~, also middle-aged. His wrists are wrapped in bandages.

With empty eyes, he listens tothe muted VOICE of the Doctor coming from the hallway.

DOCTOR (0.S. )
... Keep him awayfrom sharp objects: knives, scissors ... If you have medications -- depressants- in your house, keep them secured..·.
8

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR -DAY

Sheryl listens to the Doctor.

DOCTOR
r~d prefer to keep him,but ...
SHERYL
I know, the insurance ...

She shakes her head and sighs.

DOCTOR
You want to see him...?
9

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM -DAY

Sheryl and the Doctor enter. Frank barely reacts.

SHERYL
Hey, Frank...
FRANK
Sheryl.

Fighting tears, she goes and hugshim.

SHERYL

I m so glad you're still here.

FRANK * Well. That's one of us. *

10

INT. BATHROOM -DAY

Two hands spilla brown powder onto a small mirror.

A razor blade cuts the powder into lines.

A rolled-updollar bill lowers. The lines are snorted.

The snorter lifts his head up. He is a short, chunky, balding old man --a Roz Chast kind of grandfather.

This is GRANDPA,80 years old.

He sits down on the toilet seat,rubs his nose, takesa breath and relaxes as the drugs flood his system. *

11

INT. DWAYNE'SBEDROOM - DAY

DWAYNE isa handsome, skinny fifteen year old with amohawk. He lies on his back in his bedroom,bench-pressing a barbell.

The bedroom is dominated by ahuge portrait of Friedrich Nietzsche,painted on a bed sheet, hanging on one wall.

JUMP CUTS:

Dwayne does vertical sit-upson a wall-mounted brace.

Dwayne does vertical push-ups leaning against the wall.

Dwayne breathes heavily, having finished his work-out.

He walks to a home-made calender on the wallmade from a long roll of computer paper. It is marked,"Enlistment."

On the grid of maybe athousand squares. About half the have been in with magic

Dwayne uncapsa magic marker and fills in one more square. *

12

INT.CAR - DAY

Sheryldrives Frank home from the hospital. They say * nothing. Sheryl sneaks glances at Frank. Hesitantly:

SHERYL
You want to talk? Or no?

Frank stares at the road in front ofthem. Finally:

FRANK
No.
SHERYL
Okay.

She nods. They keep driving.

FADETO BLACK

TITLE: "LITTLE MISSSUNSHINE"

MUSIC ENDS.

13

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

An empty kitchen. A phone and answering machine sit in the FOREGROUND. The message light BLI~~ING.

In the background, through adoorway, the front door opens. Sheryl and Frank enter carrying several bags and suitcases.

SHERYL
{calling out) Hello! Anyone ...?!
14

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

She leads Frank down a hallway. He follows passively.

SHERYL
Down here. We have you with Dwayne.

She knocks and pushes open the door to Dwayne'sroom. Dwayne is on the b~d, readingTHUS SPOKE ZARATHUSTRA. He sits up.

SHERYL
Dwayne? Hi, Uncle Frank'shere.

Frank hesitates. He gives Sheryl a look: "You're kidding."

SHERYL (cont'd)
He doesn't mind~ Frank. We talked.

Frank makes a half-gesture towards the rest of the house.

SHERYL (cont' d)
We can't have you sleeping alone. The doctors said...
(he looks at her)
I'm sorry. Ihave to insist.

Dwayne gets up and exits theroom, pushing pastthem and avoiding eye contact. Sheryl enters the bedroom.

15

INT. DWAYNE'SBEDROOM - DAY

Sheryl goes and brushes offa cot. Frank remains outside.

SHERYL
You'll get along fine. He's really quiet. Look, I set up a cot.
(he hesitates)
Please,Frank? Please?

Very unhappily, Frank enters theroom and just stands there.

SHERYL (cont'd)
Thank you. I gotta start dinner. Come out when you're settled? And leave the door open. That's important.
(beat)
I'm glad you're heree

She gives him a kiss on the cheek,then departs.

Frank sits on the cot in his nephew's bedroom. On it isa Muppet sleeping bag with the Cookie Monster eating acookie.

Frank glances at the sleepingbag, then averts his eyes.

This is pretty much the worst moment of his life.

16

INT. DININGROOM - DAY

Dwayne is at the dinner table,reading. Sheryl walks by.

SHERYL
Dwayne,honey, there's a bucket of chicken in the car. Can you get it and I'll make a sal.ad?

Dwayne silently gets up and departs~and the chaotic ballet of dinner preparations in the Harvey household begins. Sheryl opens the door to the downstairs recroom and shouts.

SHERYL (cont'd)
Olive?!
OLIVE (0.S.)
Yeah?!
SHERYL
Is Grandpa with you?!
OLIVE (0.S. )
Yeah!
SHERYL
What are you guys doing?
OLIVE (0.S. }
Rehearsing!
SHERYL
Okay! Dinner in ten minutes!

OLIVE {0.S.) Okay!

17

INT. KITCHEN -DAY

Sheryl enters,opens the refridgerator, and begins pulling out stuff to makea salad.

Abruptly, from the kitchen side door,Richard enters.

RICHARD
Hi.
SHERYL
Hi. Frank's here.
RICHARD
Oh. Did StanGrossman call?
SHERYL
Check the machine.

He walks over and hits the answering machine.

MACHINE
Hello. You have one message.

It rewinds. Dwayne enters holding a bucket ofKFC.

SHERYL
Just put it on the table,hon. And can you set the table? We'll do paper plates tonight. I'll get cups and napkins.

Dwayne nods and departs. Sheryl exits in the other direction. The phone message begins.

JEFF (O.C.)
(filtered)
Sheryl, hey, it's Jeff. Listen, great news. You know,when Olive was down here last month,she was runner up in the regional Little Miss Sunshine... ?
RICHARD
(calling toSheryl)
It's from Jeff.
(to himself)
Fuck!

He stalks off. TheMESSAGE plays to the empty kitchen.

JEFF (O.C.)
(filtered)
... Well,they just called me and said that the girl who won had to forfeit her crown. I don't know why -- something about diet pills but anyway, that meansOlive won the regionals/so now she has a place in theState contest in Boca. They want to make sure she can make it, soI said you'd call them...

Sherylre-enters. She tries to listen to Jeff's message.

JEFF (cont'd)(O.C.)
{filtered) ... The woman'sname is Lauren Henderson and her number ...

BEEEEP. The machine cuts him off. Sheryl, not understanding, shakes her head and returns to making her salad. Richard re- enters/ picks up the phone and dials. Over the following,Dwayne comes in and out, pickingup stuff to set the table.

RICHARD
(into phone)
Richard Harvey forStan Grossman. Can you reach him... ?!Yeah, tell him I want to know this thing is done -- I'm waiting for the numbers. No/ Iunderstand that. I understand. Look,he has my cell, if he could just call me anytime over the weekend and letme know we're on, I'd be very,very grateful. Okay. Thank you. Bye.

He up.

Bitch.

SHERYL
Richard...! Sowhat happened with Stan Grossman?
RICHARD
He's still in Atlanta.
SHERYL
So why hasn't he called you?
RICHARD
Will you let me worry about this?!

Sheryl exhales,goes back to her salad. Dwayne comes in.

SHERYL
Dwayne,can you check on Frank? Tell him it's dinner time.

Dwayne nods and headsoff. Sherylwalks back to the door to the downstairs recroom and opens it again.

SHERYL (cont'd)
Olive?! Dinner time!
OLIVE (0.S. }
Okay!
18

INT. DWAYNE'S BEDROOM- DAY

Frank sits on the cot, staring ata photo in his wallet (we can't see it). FOOTSTEPS approach. Frank puts the photo away.

Dwayne appears in the door,knocks, and mimes eating.

FRANK
Dinner?
(Dwayne nods)
What? You don't talk anymore?
(Dwayne shakes his head)
Why not?

Dwayne rolls his eyes and half-shrugs.

FRANK (cont'd)
You can talk. You just choose not to?

Dwayne nods. Then he points to the bed-sheet painting of Nietzsche hanging on his wall. Frank turns and looks.

..LV.

FRANK (cont' d)
Is that Nietzsche? You don't speak because of Friedrich Nietzsche?

Dwayne nods, turns and leaves. Frank considers this.

FRANK (cont' d)
Far out.
19

INT. DININGROOM - DAY

Dwayne sits in his chair,folds his arms, and-- scowling --waits for everyone else to arrive. Frank tentatively follows.Sheryl comes out and puts her salad on the table.

SHERYL
Frank,you can sit here, next to Dwayne. Here's the salad. I'm gonna run get Sprite for everyone.

Shewalks off, pausing to open the recroom door again.

SHERYL (cont'd)
Olive! Come on! Dinner time!
OLIVE (0.S. )
Coming!!!

Sheryl disappears, leaving Dwayne and Frank alone. Frank sits. Dwayne scowls at the table in front of him.

Frank looks at his place setting-- a paper plate and a Big Gulp cup with the Incredible Hulk on it. He picks up the cup and examines it dispassionately. He puts it down.

DWayne doesn'tmove. Frank glances at Dwayne,not knowing what to do. He seems to have met someone who is at least as unhappy as he is.

This intrigueshim. He ventures:

FRANK
Got agirlfriend?

Dwayne looks atFrank, then shakes his head.

FRANK (cont'd)
Boyfriend?

Dwayne gives Frank a look.

FRANK (cont'd)
Kidding. Kidding. I know.
(beat)
So who you out

Dwayne shakes his head.

FRANK (cont'd)
No one? There must be someone ... !
(Dwayne shakes hishead)
You don't hang out with anyone? Oh come on. You must have one friend!

Dwayne reaches in his back pocket and pulls outa palm-sized pad of paper. He flips it open and scribblesa note.

He shows itto Frank. It reads:

"I hate everyone.n

FRANK ( cont' d)
Everyone? What about your family?

Dwayne scribbles again. He shows it to Frank. It now reads:

11Ihate everyone!!!"

He's underlined"everyonen three times. Frank looks at him.

FRANK (cant'd)
You hate me?

Dwayne considers this. He scribbles anew note. It reads:

UJ:.Jotyet."

FRANK (cont'd}
Fair enough.

They go back to sitting in silence. Richard comes out.

RICHARD
Frank. Good to see you.
FRANK
Richard ...

They shake. Richard sits down. Silence. Richard stands up.

RICHARD
I'm gonna get Olive.

He walks to the downstairs doorway and shouts.

RICHARD {centId} Dad! Olive! Come on!

OLIVE (0.S. )
(shrieking)
We're !! !

Sheryl enters with a big bottle of Diet Sprite.

SHERYL
You guys,go on and start. Frank, some Sprite? I want everyone to have at leasta little salad.
FRANK
Thanks, Sheryl.

She pours him acup, sits down, and starts opening containers of cole slaw and mashed potatoes.

Richard returns to the table, sits,and grabsa piece of chicken from the bucket. Dwayne follows suit,as does Frank.

The meal begins. Three seconds of silence.

FRANK (cont'd)
So, Sheryl... I couldn't help notice Dwayne has stopped speaking.
SHERYL
Oh! I'm sorry. Dwayne's taken a vow of silence.
FRANK
You've taken avow of silence?!

Dwayne nods .

SHERYL
He's gonna join the Naval Academy and become a fighter pilot. ·He's taken avow of silence until he reaches that goal.
FRANK
(toDwayne)
You're kidding ... !

Dwayne stares at Frank. He's not kidding. Olive enters the dining room, with Grandpa following.

OLIVE
Hi, Uncle Frank!
FRANK
Olive. Boy, you're gettin'big!
(toSheryl)
Is she big for her age?

Sheryl nods. Olive, unprompted,walks over and gives him a kiss on cheek. She sees the bandageson Frank's

20

L.:L

OLIVE
What happened to your arms?
SHERYL
Olive...
FRANK
No, it's okay. Ihad a little accident. I'm okay now.
RICHARD
How's the new routine coming?
OLIVE
It's good.
RICHARD
When're you gonna let us see it?
OLIVE
I dunno. It's up to Grandpa.
GRANDPA
A couple of days. It needs a polish.

Olive sits. Grandpa walks to the table.

GRANDPA (cont'd)
What is this?! Chicken?! Every day it's the chicken! Holy God almighty! Is it possible, just one time, we could have something for dinner except the goddamn fucking chicken?!

Sheryl ignores him. Richard tries to cut him off.

RICHARD
Dad.. . Dad... Dad... Dad!! !
GRANDPA
I'm just saying... !
RICHARD
If you want to cook or buy yourown food, you're more than welcome...
GRANDPA
Christ. Y'know, at Sunset Village ...
RICHARD
If you likedSunset Village so much maybe you shouldn't have gotten yourself kicked out of there ... !

..1..'-;t;.

GRANDPA
(waves dismissively} Ahhhh ...!

He takes out a piece of chicken and starts eating.A tense silence. Frank tries to get things going again.

FRANK
When did you start? With the vow?

Dwayne shrugs. He doesn't care to comment.

RICHARD
It's been nine months. He hasn't said a word. I think it shows tremendous discipline.
SHERYL
Richard...
RICHARD
I'm serious! I think we could all learn something from what Dwayne's doing! Dwayne hasa goal. He has a dream. It may not be my dream, or your dream,but still. . .He's pursuing thatdream with focusand discipline. In fact,I was thinking about the Nine Steps ...
GRANDPA.
Oh, for crying out loud ...!
RICHARD
(evenly)
... About the NineSteps,and how Dwayne's utilizing at least seven of them in his journey to personal fulfillment.
SHERYL
Richard. Please.
RICHARD
I'm just saying! I've come around! I think Dwayne deserves our support.

Frank looks atDwayne. Dwayne rolls his eyes. Olive addresses Frank.

OLIVE
How did it happen?
FRANK
How did what happen?
OLIVE
Your accident ...
SHERYL
Honey ...

She shakes her head: "Don't go there."

FRANK
No, it's okay. Unless you object ...
SHERYL
No, I'm pro-honesty here. I just think,you know... It's up to you.
FRANK
Bemy guest ...
SHERYL
Olive,Uncle Frank didn't really have an accident. What happened was: he tried to kill himself.
OLIVE
You did? Why?
RICHARD
Idon't think this is an appropriate conversation.
(toOlive)
Let's leave Uncle Frank alone.

A beat. Olive has stopped eating.

OLIVE
Why did you want to kill yourself?
RICHARD
Frank. Don't answer that question.

Frank stares at Richard. He turns back to Olive.

FRANK
I tried to kill myself becauseI was very unhappy.
RICHARD
(overlapping} Don't listen, honey, he's sick and he doesn't know what he's ...
SHERYL
Richard. . .Richard ...
RICHARD
What?! I don't think it's appropriate fora six year old!
SHERYL
She's gonna find outanyway. Go on, Frank.
OLIVE
Why were you unhappy?

Frank glances at Richard-- deadpan victorious -- and continues.

FRANK
Well, there werea lot of reasons. Mainly,though, I fell in love with someone who didn't love me back ...
OLIVE
Who?
FRANK
One of my grad students. Iwas very much in love with him.
OLIVE
Him? It was a boy? You fell in love with a boy? .
FRANK
Yes. I did. Very much so.

This is new to Olive. She thinks it over.

OLIVE
That's silly.
FRANK
You're right. It was very, very silly.
GRANDPA
There's another word for it...
RICHARD
Dad ...
OLIVE
So ... That 1 swhen you tried to kill yourself ... ?
FRANK
Well, no. What happened was:the boy I was in love with fell in love with another man,Larry Sugarman.
SHERYL
Who' sLarry Sugarman?
FRANK
Larry Sugarman is perhaps the second most highly regarded Proust scholar in theU.S.
RICHARD
Who's number one?
FRANK
That would be me,Rich.
OLIVE
So... That's when you tried... ?
FRANK
Well, no. What happened was:I was a bit upset. I did some things I shouldn't have done. Subsequently, I was fired,forced to leave my apartment and move intoa motel.
OLIVE
Oh. So that's when...?
FRANK
(hesitates)
Well, no. Actually, all that was okay. What happened was:two days ago the MacArthur Foundation decided to awarda "genius"grant to Larry Sugarman.
(deep breath)
And that'swhen ...
GRANDPA
... You tried to check out early.
FRANK
Yes. And I failed at that as well.
RICHARD
Olive,what's important to understand is thatUncle Frank gave up on himself. He made a series of foolish choices,and then he gave up on himself, which is something that winners never do.

ltL

A beat. Frank looks like he could leap across the table and strangle Richard. Sheryl intervenes.

SHERYL

So that S thestory, okay? Let's move on. Olive,how's your new routine coming?

OLIVE
Fine. I told you.

Over the above,Frank turns and asks, regarding Richard:

FRANK
Is he always like this? {Dwayne nods) How can you stand it?

Dwayne writes a note, shows it to Frank. It reads:

"I can't .."

Frank nods. Richard addresses Olive.

RICHARD
Honey, tell Frank why you're doing your dance routine.
FRANK
Olive. vfuyare you doing adance routine?
OLIVE
For Little Miss Crab-Cakes.
FRANK
(arch)
A-ha! Just asI suspected ...!
SHERYL
Honey, tellhim what Little Miss Crab-Cakes is.
OLIVE
Little Miss Crab-Cakes isa beauty contest for everyone in Maryland. But you have to be six or seven years old and you have to bea girl.

Frank looks skeptically at Sheryl.

SHERYL * Don't look at me! This is Jeff and * the new step-Mom. It's big down *

l~.

FRANK * (to Olive} So what do you think your chances are?

Olive takes the question likea pro.

OLIVE
I think I can win. 'Cause a lot of the new girls --they don't have the experience.
FRANK
Well, good luck.
RICHARD
It's not about luck. Luck is the name that losers give to theirown failings. It's about wanting to win. Willing yourself to win. You got to want it badder than anyone.
OLIVE
Ido!
RICHARD
Do you? Really? {a beat;she nods) Then youtre gonna be a winner!

She smi Dwayne shakes his·headand keeps eating.

SHERYL
Richard ...
RICHARD
What?! It's true!
OLIVE
I was runner up in Florida!
FRANK
When were you in Florida?
SHERYL
Springbreak. Jeff had custody for· two weeks. Olive made it to the top of the Regionalsdown there.
OLIVE
Iwas second place.
RICHARD
Sher, y'know, there's a message from Jeff on the machine.
21

C.V.

SHERYL
Yeah. Did you hear what it was?
RICHARD
Actually, itwas something about Little MissSunshine.
OLIVE
What? Little Miss Sunshine? What?!

Sheruns off. Sheryl follows Olive into the kitchen.

22

INT.KITCHEN - DAY

Sheryl and Olive approach the answering machine. The "message"light is blinking. Sherylhits it.

JEFF (O.C.)
(filtered)
Sheryl, hey, it's Jeff ...!
23

INT. DINING ROOM - DAY

Richard, Frank, and Dwayne try to listen,eating silently.

24

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Olive and Sheryl listen.

JEFF (O.C.)
(filtered)
...Somethingabout diet pills, but anyway that means thatOlive won the regionals, so now she hasa place in the State contest in Boca ...

BEEEP. Over the above, Olive reacts with involuntary spasms of shock,disbelief, and then pure, unadulterated euphoria.

She waits -- trembling -- to hear the whole message. When it ends, she puts her hands to her temples:

OLIVE
Aaahhhhhhh!! ! Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! ! ! Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine!!!

She goes running out into the dining room.

OLIVE (O.S.)(cont'd)
Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine!!f

Sheryl closes her eyes.

SHERYL
Fuck ...!

Sheryl picks up the cordless phone, dials.

25

INT. DINING ROOM- DAY

Sheryl re-enters with the phone. Olive is rejoicing.

OLIVE
I won! Iwon! I get to go to the Championship! Oh, God! Oh, my God!
(beat)
I gotta pack! Igotta go pack! *

She rushes off to the downstairsdoorway and disappears.

RICHARD
Wait, Olive, finish your dinner!
OLIVE (0.S.)
I'm finished! *

GRANDPA * What happened? *

SHERYL * Apparently,the girl who won * Regionalswas disgualified. So * Olivehas her place in the Finals. *

RICHARD * When are they? *

SHERYL * I'm calling Jeff right ...Jeff! * Yeah,we just got it ... Yeah, she basically went crazy. No, I didn't get that,the machine cut you off.

Shegrabs Dwayne's pen and pad. She scribbles.

SHERYL (cont 'd)
Uh-huh. In Boca Raton. This Sunday?! Can you take her? You canrt put it off? No, it's just ... We have to figure this out. No, I'll give this lady a call and we'll figure it out. Right. Bye.

She hangs up.

RICHARD
It,s Sunday? Can Jeff and Cindy take her?
SHERYL
{shakes her head) They're going to Maui.

They all look at each other.

26

INT. RECROOM - DAY

We TRACK withOlive as she runs down a half-flight of stairs and races around,picking up clothes and shoes that are * scattered about.

27

INT. KITCHEN- MOMENTS LATER

Sheryl enters carrying the bucket of chicken,the half-filled containers of potato salad and slaw,and used paper plates.

Richard followsSheryl. Grandpa follows Richard.

SHERYL
I have to go. I promised Olive I'd take her if she made the finals.
RICHARD
You promised?
GRANDPA
I'm going.
RICHARD
Wait a minute,Dad...
SHERYL
We'll flydown, come back Monday.

Sheryl throws the plates in the garbage. Throughout the following,she wraps the leftover chicken inSaran wrap and puts the chicken and other leftovers in the fridge.

RICHARD
How're you gonna get around down there?
SHERYL
We'll rent a car.
RICHARD
And stay in a hotel?
SHERYL
We can afford it ...! *
RICHARD
Sheryl...! This is money!
SHERYL
Well, maybe if Ihad help bringing it in, y'know?! It all goes to your NineSteps, which is not ...
RICHARD
Honey. . .Honey. . .Honey...
(patient)
As soon asI hear from Stan, we'll get the advance,I will pay you back, we'll start generating revenue. But in the meantime ...

Sherylexhales, grits her teeth, shakes her head.

SHERYL

Okay,we ll drive down.

RICHARD
In the Miata? How're you gonna fit Grandpa?
SHERYL
Grandpa doesn,t have to come.
GRANDPA
What ... ?!I coached her! I gave her the steps! I have to be there!
RICHARD
Why don't you take theVW?
SHERYL
I can't drive a shift,Richard! I've tried, and Ican/t do it!

Having put away the leftovers,Sheryl opens the freezer and pulls out aJumbo Pak of popsicles.

SHERYL {cont 'd) We'll flydown.

RICHARD
We can't afford it.
SHERYL
Well, that's what we're gonna do! Unless you have a better idea.

She slams the freezer door and heads for the diningroom.

28

INT. DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Sheryl enters. Richard and Grandpa follow. Frank and Dwayne are finishing Sheryl tosses on the

SHERYL
Here. This is dessert.

She sits,rips open a popsicle and takesa bite. Silence.

Dwayne and Frank glance ateach other,then tentatively take popsicles for themselves. Richard takesa deep breath.

RICHARD
Okay. I'll drive the bus.
GRANDPA
No! I'll take her on a plane!

Everyone ignores Grandpa. Sherylconsiders Richard's idea.

SHERYL
What about Dwayne and Frank?
RICHARD
They can stay here.

Dwayne and Frank look at each other.

SHERYL
Richard. I was told explicitlyI could not leave Frank by himself. No offense, Frank.
FRANK
None taken.
RICHARD
Well, Iguess we can't go then! I mean,unless we take Frank and Dwayne with us!

A pause. All eyes turn to Frank and Dwayne. Dwayne begins vigorously shaking his head"No".

29

INT.OLIVE'S BEDROOM - DAY

Olive re-enters with dresses, shoes,and her swimsuit. She * pulls a suitcase from under her bed,opens it, and begins stuffing her things in.

30

INT. DINING ROOM - DAY

Sheryl pleads with Dwayne.

SHERYL
Dwayne/ please. For your sister?
RICHARD
Come on, Dwayne! It'

Everyone stares at him. Dwayne takes his pad outand writes. Frank reads over his shoulder as itcomes out.

FRANK
"This... is ... unfair ... All ... I .. . ask ... is ... that ... you ... leave .. . me ...alone."

Dwayne stops writing, folds hisar.ms. In the background, we HEAR Olive packing. Sheryl turns toDwayne.

SHERYL
Dwayne: Flight school. I'll give permission. Come on. It'll be fun. You can go to the beach.

Dwayne looks at her. FOOTSTEPSstart coming up the stairs. Finally, he offers his hand. Sheryl shakes. Everyone is relieved. Dwayne scribbles another note. Frank reads it.

FRANK
"But... I'm... not ... going ... to ... have ... any ... fun !!!"

He puts his hand on Dwayne's shoulder.

FRANK {cont'd) We,re all with youon that one, Dwayne.

Olive re~enters,lugging her suitcase -- she is breathless, flushed with excitement.

OLIVE
Grandpa? Is Grandpa coming to Florida?
SHERYL
We '.re allcoming.
RICHARD
Sheryl,wait. Olive, come here. Have a seat.

Olive walks over and sits next to Richard.

RICHARD (cont'd)
Now there's no sense in entering a

contest if you don t think you're gonna win. Now, do you think you can win Little Miss Sunshine?

Sheryl starts to object,but Richard his hand, cutting off. Olive doesn't seem so sure.

RICHARD (cont'd}
Yes or no, Olive. Are you gonna win?

Olive thinks itover. Then, with white-hot determination:

OLIVE
Yes!

Richard smilesand slaps the table.

RICHARD
We're gain'to Florida!
31

INT. VWBUS - ON THE ROAD - DAY

Richard is driving. Sheryl rides shotgun. Frank and Olive sit in the second row. Dwayne and Grandpa sit in back.

Dwayne is wearing aT-shirt that says,"Jesus Was Wrong".

Olive wears a large set of headphones that completely cover her ears. She does little half-dancing moves to the music.

No one says anything. They've been drivinga while.

Grandpa's ar.mshang limply by his side.

GRANDPA
Jesus, I'm tired~ I am so fucking tired. {to Dwayne) You know how tired Iam? If some girl came up to me ... begged me to fuck her...I couldn't do it. That's how tired Iam.
RICHARD
Dad! Your language ...!Please!
GRANDPA
She's listening to the music ... !
(loud)
Hey, Olive! I'll give you a million dollars if you turn around!

Oliveis oblivious.

RICHARD
Okay, but still, the rest of us ...
GRANDPA
Ahhh, the rest of you ...
(toDwayne)
Can I give you some advice?
(Dwayne shakes his head)
(MORE)

L.I• GRANDPA (cont' d) I'll do it anyway. I don't want you making the same mistakesI did when I was young.

RICHARD
Great. I can't wait to hear this.
GRANDPA
Dwayne? This is the voice of * experience talking. Are you listening?
(Dwayne nods)
Kid: Fucka lot of women. Not just one woman. A lot of women. You're young...
RICHARD
Okay,Dad? I think that's enough.
GRANDPA
(ignoreshim)
You gettin' any right now? Tell me, really.

Dwayne shakes his head. Frank,amused, can't help but turn around to watch this conversation take place.

GRANDPA (cont'd)
Jesus! You're, what? Fifteen? You should be gettin' that young There's nothing in the world better than the young stuff!
RICHARD
Okay, Dad, enough. Stopit!
GRANDPA
Would you kindly not interruptme, Richard? {to Dwayne) Look: rightnow, you're jailbait, they're jailbait. So it's fine. The minute you turn eighteen-- Bam! You're lookin' at three to five.
RICHARD
Dad,I'm gonna pull over ...
GRANDPA
Sopull over! You're not gonna shut me up! Fuck you! I lived 80 years!You're like those fuckers atSunsetVillage ...!
FRANK
What happened at Sunset Village?
SHERYL
Frank, don't encourage him.
GRANDPA
I'll tell you what happened! I pay my money,they let me in. I should be able todo what the fuck Iwantr
SHERYL
He started snorting heroin.
FRANK
You started snorting heroin?!
GRANDPA
I'm eighty!
FRANK
You knowr that stuff'll kill you.
GRANDPA
What am I, an idiot?
(to Dwayne)
And don't you get ideas. When you're young, you're crazy to dothat shit.
FRANK
What about you?
GRANDPA
Me?! I'm old! Youget to be my age -- you're crazy not todo it.

Frank looks atSheryl -- You/re letting this happen? Sheryl waves her hands~exasperated.

SHERYL * We've tried,believe me! He's * worse thana two year old. The * intervention wasa fiasco. *

RICHARD
Can we please talk aboutsomething else now?
FRANK
So I take it you didn't like it at Sunset Village?
GRANDPA
Are you kidding? Fucking paradise there! They cook for you. Clean for you. You got golf. A pool. Now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, on a
FRANK
Aren't there other places?
SHERYL
He keeps getting kicked out. Sunset was number four.
GRANDPA
Motherfuckers.
(to Frank)
Hey,listen: I know you're a homo, but ... Yougo to one of these places? There's fourwomen for every guy. What does that say to you?
FRANK
You must've been pretty busy.
GRANDPA
Oh, man. They were knockin' on my door day and night! It was almost too much! IfI didn't have those little fuckin'blue pills ... Forget about itr

Olivesees Frank grinning at Grandpa. She takes off her headphonesand·turns around.

OLIVE
What are you guys talking about?
GRANDPA
Politics.
OLIVE
Oh.

A beat. She puts her headphones back on.

GRANDPA
(toDwayne)
Fuck a lot of women, kid. Igot no reason to lie to you. Not just one woman. A lot of women.
32

INT. DINER - DAY

Everyone sits in a round booth,looking at menus.

OLIVE
Mom, how much can we spend?
SHERYL
I'd say four dollars. Anything under four.
33

JV•

Olive nods. A WAITRESS arrives.

WAITRESS
Hi,you ready?
RICHARD
Yeah. Number five. And coffee.
SHERYL
Number seven, over easy. And grapefruit juice.
FRANK
Fruit plate. And you have chamomile? With honey. Thanks.
GRANDPA
The Lumberjack. Coffee. Extra bacon.
RICHARD
Dad...
SHERYL
Richard/ don't start ...
RICHARD
He's gonna kill himself ... !
SHERYL
It's his life.
GRANDPA
Thank you, Sheryl.

She shrugs. Dwayne holds up his note pad.

WAITRESS
Garden salad? And you?
OLIVE
Urn... Sorry! I'm sorry!
WAITRESS
Take your time ... !
RICHARD
Don't apologize,Olive. It's a sign of weakness.

Frank rolls his eyes. Olive sees something.

OLI\lE Oh, oh! Iwant waffles. And ... what does "A mod-ee 1'mean?

WAITRESS
It means itcomes with ice-cream.
OLIVE
Okay! A la mod-ee!
SHERYL
Olive. For breakfast?
OLIVE
You said, "Four dollars"!
SHERYL
Okay, fine. Yourre right.
WAITRESS
Okay! Be right back!

She departs.

FRANK
Actually, Olive... ? "Ala mode" in French translates literallyas "in the fashion". A... la ... mode.Mode is derivedfrom the Latin "modus1',meaning due or proper measure. There's kind of a funny story about ...
RICHARD
(cutting in)
Frank ... ?Shutup.
SHERYL
Richard ... !

Frank wavesSheryl off: don't bother. Richard turns to Olive.

RICHARD
Olive, can I tell you something about ice-cream? {she nods) Ice cream is made from cream,which comes from cow's milk. And cream has a lot of fat in it ...
SHERYL
Richard...
RICHARD
What? "She's gonna find out anyway." Right?
OLIVE
Find out what?
RICHARD
Well,when you eat ice-cream, the fat in the ice-cream becomes faton your body...
SHERYL
Richard,I swear to God ...!
OLIVE
What? What's wrong?
SHERYL
Nothing, honey. Nothing's wrong.
RICHARD
So if you eat lots of ice-cream, you're gonna become big and fat. But if you don't, you 1 11 probably stay nice and skinny.

Sheryl puts her head in her hands.

GRANDPA
Olive, Richard's an idiot. I like a woman with meat on her bones.

Olive is confused.

OLIVE
I don't... Mom! Why is everyone so upset?
SHERYL
I,m not upset,honey. I just want you to understand: It's okay to be skinny,and it's okay to be fat, if that'show you want to be. Whatever you want -- it's okay.

Richard rolls his eyes.

RICHARD
Okay, but, Olive, let me ask you:the women in Miss America ... ?Are they skinny, or are they fat?
OLIVE
Well... They're skinny,I guess.
RICHARD
Okay! So they probably don't eata lot of ice-cream. Do they?

Just then, the waitress arrives with a tray.

WAITRESS
Okay: Coffee, coffee,grapefruit, chamomile. And here's your ice- cream. Ala mod-ee,right? I'll have your waffles in asec!

She departs. Olivestares at the ice-cream. Finally:

OLIVE
Does anyone wantmy ice-cream?

Sheryl just closes her eyes. Grandpa jumps in.

GRANDPA
Yeah, Itll havea bite. You mind? Dwayne? Frank? Olive's giving away her ice-cream here.

Dwayne andFrank quickly snap to.

FRANK
Youmind if Ihave a little?

Olive shakes her head. Frank and Dwayne dig in. Even Sheryl gets in on the act. Richard is not amused.

GRANDPA
{loudly) Boy, this is good ice-cream! I feel sorry for the people at this table who aren't enjoying delicious ice-cream early in the morning. Olive,you're not givin' away all your ice-cream? What about your waffles? You can't eat waffles without the ice-cream! You'll have lonely waffles in your stomach! C'mon/ have a bite.
OLIVE
Wait. Don't take it all! Stop!

Olive picks up her spoon, fightsthem off. She takes a bite.

RICHARD
Olive...
SHERYL
Richard ...!

She glares at him~ ferocious. Richard shuts up.

34

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

Richard -- anxious listens toa greeting on his cell phone. A small BEEP.

RICHARD
(into phone)
Stan! Richard!Look, I know you're busy, but we're dying to hear what kind of numbers youcame up with in Atlanta. Callwhen you can.

He clicks off asSheryl, Olive and the others exit the diner. They trudge across the parking lot to theVW van.

SHERYL
You get him?
RICHARD
I can't get a signal out.
OLIVE
How long \til we get there?
RICHARD
A long time.
OLIVE
I know, but ... how. long?
RICHARD
We're doing six hundred miles today, and two hundred tomorrow. It's a lot of driving.
SHERYL
Honey, I'll drive a while.
RICHARD
No, it's okay...
SHERYL
No, you're right. I gotta learn to do this. I mean,you're doing it. How hard can it be?
35

INT. VW BUS- PARKED - DAY

Sheryl is trying to back up the bus. She'sgrinding gears.

RICHARD
Push the stick down hard!
SHERYL
I'mpushing hard!
RICHARD
Put the clutch in all the way!
SHERYL
It's on the floor!
JUMP CUT TO:

Richard tries. He keeps grinding gears as well. It's a horrible sound.

36

INT. SERVICESTATION GARAGE - DAY

Richard andSheryl talk to a MECHANIC.

Behind them,Olive and Grandpa are playing thatgame where you try to slap the other person's wrists.When Grandpa gets hit, he reacts with cries of pain --much toOlive's delight.

In the background,across the lot,Dwayne and Frank sit on a cinderblock wall,waiting for the situation to resolve itself.

MECHANIC
Well, you got a problem. Your clutch is shot.
RICHARD
Can we get a new one?
MECHANIC
Well, I tell you what: These old buses? We'd have to order it.
RICHARD
How long'd that take?

MEC:HANIC Well, it's the weekend,so ... Maybe Thursday?

Richard andSheryl react.

37

EXT. SERVICESTATION - DAY

Frank and Dwayne sit silently. Dwayne watches bitterly this is just one more fiascohe's been dragged into.

Frank looks on wistfully asSheryl --thirty yards away glances worriedly between Richard and the Mechanic.Frank notices Dwayne's stare. He speaks withoutlooking at Dwayne.

FRANK
I don't know if you know this,but growing up?
(MORE)

FRANK {cont 'd) Your Mom was the cool one. She turned me on to Proust. She could've done anything.

Dwayne looks at Frank --he can't quite believe this. He takes out his pad, half-smirking,and writes:

"What happened?"

Frank looks at the pad,then at Dwayne.

FRANK (cont'd)
She had you, Dwayne.

He pats Dwayne on the leg,gets up, and walks back towards Richard and Sheryl. Dwayne is left alone, taking this in.

38

INT. SERVICESTATION GARAGE - DAY

Frank wanders in as Richard presses the Mechanic.Grandpa and Olive stop their game and join the conversation.

RICHARD
Okay, look:we've come two hundred miles... Is there a dealership around here?
MECHANIC
Well,you eould call over to Clarksville,but they're probably closed. Y'know, it's the weekend.
RICHARD
Yes, we're all aware of that.

Silence. The Mechanic feels bad forthem. Dwayne re-enters.

MECHANIC
Well, I tell you what: these old buses? You don't need a clutch to shift from third to fourth. You just ease up on the gas. You only really need the clutch for first and second.

Richard doesn't understand what he's getting at.

MECHANIC (cont'd)
What I'm sayin' is:as long as you keep parkin/ on a hill,you get yourself goin' fifteen,twenty miles an hour, and you just start up in third. Then you shift between third and fourth.

..:)I•

RICHARD
And you can drive like that?
MECHANIC
Oh, yeah. The problem's just getting up that speed up. As long as you keep parkin' it ona hill, you're fine. My brother andI once drove from here to Canada ...
RICHARD
What if you're not on a hill?
MECHANIC
What?
RICHARD
I mean, it's sitting here rightnow. There's no hill. How do we... ?

The Mechanic considers this. He squints his eyes and runs his tongue back and forth across his teeth.

MECHANIC
Well/ I tell you what: You get enough people --you just get behind there and push. Just push it up to ten, fifteen miles an hour, and you just go. Everybody jurrpinside,and you just go!

They all stare at him.

39

EXT. PARKINGLOT - DAY

Richard's at the wheel of the bus.Everyone else, including the Mechanic, is behind the bus. The sliding door is open.

RICHARD
Okay, ready?! Olive, Dad: I want you in the car first.
OLIVE
I know. We know.
RICHARD
Okay, is everyone ready?
SHERYL
Yes! Let's go!

Richard starts up the bus. Frank turns to the others.

FRANK
I just want everyone here toknow I'm the pre-eminent Proust scholar in theUnited States.
RICHARD
Okay,go! Push!

They all push. The van starts rolling,slow at first, then faster and faster. Finally, they're all running behind it.

RICHARD (cont'd)
Olive, Dad/ get in! Sheryl!

Olive,Grandpa, and Sheryl jump in the side door. The Mechanic fades. Frank and Dwayne keep pushing faster.

RICHARD (cont' d)
Okay, I'm puttin' it into gear! Get ready!

He guns the engine and shifts from neutral to third. The bus isREVVING low but is powering itself nonetheless.

SHERYL
Okay, get in! Get in!
(to Richard} Slow down! You're losing them!

RICHARD

I can t! I can't slow down!

Dwayne runs up to the door. He sees Frank is fading.

He runs back to Frank, gets behind him,and pushes him up alongside the bus. Frank divesin. Dwayne dives after him.

40

INT. VW BUS - ON THE ROAD -DAY

Everyone cheers. Frank is panting. Dwayne shuts the door.

RICHARD
Is that it? Are we in?
FRANK
(toDwayne)
"No one gets left behind! No one gets left behind!" Outstanding, soldier! Outstanding!

Frank salutes him. Dwayne smiles,embarrassed.

41

INT./EXT. VW BUS, ON THEROAD - DAY ~ DRIVING MONTAGE

The VW down an on-ramponto Interstate.

TheVW cruises down I-95. Signs pass. Scenerygoes by.

Inside the bus,everyone just stares out the windows.

Later,Grandpa is doing magic tricks forOlive. He produces a quarterfrom behind her ear and gives it to her.

Later, everyone is playing rock, paper,scissors.

Still later, everyone is back to doing nothing.

42

INT. VW BUS - ON THE ROAD -DAY

Richard is pitching his business to Frank,who is bored, but not as bored as he would be doing nothing. He is slouched down, barely moving. Richard,however, is in full sell mode.

RICHARD
...So I start pitching "TheWinner Inside~~ to Stan... Two minutes in,he stops me, says1 "I can sell this.''
FRANK
Wow.
RICHARD
This is the guy who broke Tony Robbins! He knows how to do it-- start with the book; media tour;then corporate events; consulting,videos series, direct buys on TV... There'sa science in how you roll these things out.
FRANK
Interesting ... !
RICHARD
So now he's at the Expo in Atlanta -- he's been hyping itUPr building the buzz -- he's gonna send it out, do a ticking clock auction.
FRANK
How about that ...!
RICHARD
And I can detect that note of sarcasm, Frank...
FRANK
What sarcasm?!
RICHARD
... ButIjust want you to know --I feel sorry for you.
FRANK
You do? Good.
RICHARD
Because sarcasm is the refuge of losers.
FRANK
It is?! Really?!
RICHARD
Sarcasm is just the sour grapes of losers trying to pull winnersdown to their level. That's one of the lessons ofStep Four.
FRANK
wow, Richard! You've really opened my eyes to whata loser I am! Say, how much do I owe you for those pearls of wisdom?
RICHARD
It's onme, buddy. It's on me.
SHERYL
Okay,you ~uys, enough. Frank, stop it.
FRANK
{pointing) "Hestarted it!"

Even Sheryl has to laugh a little at this. Pretty soon, everyone in the back is giggling. Even Dwayne smiles.

SHERYL
You are bad! You are sobad~
FRANK
I know!
RICHARD
Yeah, go on and laugh. You're whistling past the graveyard.

Richard maintainsa steely composure. Then Richard's cell phone goes off: BEEEEP-BEEEEP. He checks the number.

RICHARD (cont'd)
There! Thatrs the call I've been waiting for! Everybody,please! Everyone . ..? !
(clicks the phone)
Stan! Hello ... ?Hello?! Hello?!
43

EXT. CONVENIENCE STOREI PHONE BOOTH - DAY

Richard is in aphone booth at a gas station Imini-mart. Everyone hangs out by the bus -- parked ona slight incline except Dwayne,who is doing push-ups on the grass nearby.

44

INT. PHONE BOOTH -DAY

Richard waits tensely. Then -- abruptly -- he is ''up".

RICHARD
Stan! Richard! Yeah, yeah/ no problem! So... What'd we get?

He listens. Gradually, his face falls.

BY THE VW -- Sheryl,Olive, Grandpa, and Frank watch Richard on the phone. Dwayne wanders back to the van.

SHERYL
Honey, I'm·gonnause the ladies room. You need to go?
OLIVE
No. I'm gonna practice my routine over here.
SHERYL
Okay. Don't go too far.

They both wander off. Frank turns to Dwayne and Grandpa.

FRANK
I'm gonna geta drink. You guys want anything?

Dwayne shakes his head,but Grandpa pulls out his wallet.

GRANDPA
Yeah. Get me some porn. Something really nasty. None of that air- brushed shit,alright? Here, here'sa twenty. Get a little treat for yourself too, if they got any fag-rags in there.

Frank stares at Grandpa. Then, twenty and and Richard.

45

INT. CONVENIENCESTORE - DAY

Frank stands at the counter,pointing out behind-the-counter magazines toa middle-aged Indian-AmericanPROPRIETOR.

FRANK
That one. That one. And let's try thatone. No, down.. . Yeah, that one. And a small grape Slushee.

By the frontwindow, a good-lookingYOUNG MAN is perusing the newsstand,cradling a grocery bag. He stops and stares.

YOUNG MAN
Frank ... ?

Frank turns. They are startled to see each other.

YOUNG MAN (cont'd)
Oh my God! What are you doing here?!

Frank puts his arms behind his back,hiding his bandages.

FRANK
I'm... on a trip.What about ... ?I thought you were ...
YOUNG MAN
... With Larry?Yeah, Larry bought a beach house,right down the road about -- I don'tknow -- about two miles. We're having this big blow- out tonight and he's all freaked we're not gonna have enough booze.

He nods to his grocery bag,filled with bottles of Merlot.

FRANK
Larry's here ... ?!
YOUNG MAN
He's filling the tank. He's ... Wow/ I can't believe this! How've you been?
FRANK
Fine. I'm fine.
YOUNG MAN
Good. Good. You know, Iheard .. . Someone told me you got fired ... ?
FRANK
Yeah. No, I quit. Iquit. 's enough, youknow?

4 ..:L

YOUNG MAN
Right. Well,good. Good for you. \Cause you alwaysseemed so ... tense, y'know?
FRANK
Yah.
YOUNGMAN
So what're you up tonow?
FRANK
I'm... Weighing my options. You know. Taking time off.
YOUNGMAN
Well,great. That's great.

The Proprietor puts three porn magazines and a grapeSlushee on the counter and rings them up for Frank.

PROPRIETOR
$15.94/please, sir.

The Young Man glances at the magazines,then at Frank. Frank keeps his hands behind his back. An excruciating pause.

YOUNG MAN
Well, great seeing you again.
FRANK
Yeah. You too.
YOUNG MAN
Take care of yourself.
FRANK
You too.

The Young Man turns and exits. Frank hands over a$20 bill.

He watches theYoung Man walk off while the Proprietor puts the magazines in abrown wrapper and hands Frank his change.

Frank takesa few steps and peers out the window.

HIS POV --The Young Man gets into a Jaguar convertible driven by a distinguished-lookingBEARDEDMAN.

TheYoung Man says something and points back at the store. The Bearded Man turns and cranes his neck.

Frank, in the store, ducks out view. The Young Man and the Bearded Man exchange afew words, then shrug laugh.

Then they drive off. Frank watches, heartbroken. Behind him, the Proprietor picks up theSlushee and waves it.

PROPRIETOR
Ay! Don't forget yourSlushee!
46

EXT. PHONEBOOTH - DAY

Richard is grasping at straws.

RICHARD
Okay,Stan, wait, lemme interrupt you ...No/ Stan, listen-- are you in Atlanta? 'Cause I'm coming right by you. Maybe I can swing by * and... No, Stan, listen ...! *
47

EXT. VW BUS - PARKED - DAY

Grandpa, standing by the bus,reads Richard's body language. Richard, in the booth, talks with increasing desperation.

GRANDPA
He's not getting it. Christ.

He and Dwayne share a look. Grandpa turns away, troubled.

Frank walks stiffly back to the bus with hisSlushee and the wrapper. Without looking,he hands the wrapper to Grandpa.

FRANK
How's it going?
GRANDPA
Not so good.

Sheryl walks back to the vw as Richard hangsup the phone.

Richard stays in the booth fora second. Then he exits the booth and walks back to the vw,passing Sheryl.

SHERYL
Sowhat happened?
RICHARD
Nothing. Let's get out of here.

He walks to the driver's seat.

SHERYL
Wait a minute. I thought you said this was a done deal.
RICHARD
was a done
SHERYL
You didn't get anything?
(beat)
So where does that leave us?
RICHARD
It leaves us fucked. That's where it leaves us.

Pause.

SHERYL
I can 1 tbelieve I'm hearing this. Did you try negotiating ... ?
RICHARD
Yes, I tried! I tried everything! What do you think ... ?!Let's just go, okay? Let's get out of here!

He starts the car. She stares at him. He won't look at her.

Finally,he turns and yells:

RICHARD (cont' d}
Let's g.Q!!!

Furious, she goes and gets in the bus,slamming the door.

Everyone else in. Richard releases the brake and they drift down the hill.

As the van rolls away, Richard shifts andGUNS the engine.

48

INT. VW BUS - ON THE ROAD -DAY

Silence. Everyone avoids everyone else's eyes. Finally, Frank glances around.

FRANK
Where's Olive?
49

EXT. PHONE BOOTH -DAY

Olive stands next to the phone booth.

In the distance, theVW bus appears.

It drives up and swings around the road.

Dwayne slides open the door. They barely slow down.

Olive dives in. The van coasts downhill.

Then Richard gear GUNS

50

INT.VW BUS - ON THE ROAD - DAY

Richard drives. Everyone is tense exceptOlive, who listens to her headphones. Finally/ Grandpa gets up and walks up to the front of the bus. He speaks quietly to Richard.

GRANDPA
Richard ...
RICHARD
Yeah...
GRANDPA
Listen1 whatever happens -- at least you tried to do something on your own, which is more than most people ever do, and I include myself in that category. It takes guts, and I'm proud of you for taking the chance, okay?
RICHARD
Okay, Dad. Thanks.

He tries to be cool and dismissive,but Grandpa just stands there. Finally, Richard turns and makes eye contact.

Awkwardly, he offers·his hand to Grandpa. They shake.

Thanks, Dad.

51

INT. MCDONALDS - NIGHT

Everyone sits at a table eating. No one says anything.

52

EXT. MOTEL - NIGHT

With keys in their hands,they walk along the motor court, looking for their rooms.

SHERYL
Here's eleven. Frank,you're twelve? And Grandpa's thirteen.
OLIVE
Mom? Can I sleep with Grandpa?
SHERYL
That's up to him.
OLIVE
Grandpa...?
GRANDPA
Okay. I got two beds. You could still use some rehearsing ...
OLIVE
I know! That'swhy I said...!
RICHARD
Everyone,we're getting up at seven. I'llknock on your door. We want to be on the road by eight so we can be in Boca in time for registration. It's two hundred miles/ so we can't dawdle.
SHERYL
Frank? You guys'll be all right?
FRANK
We'll be fine.

Dwayne nods. Sheryl kisses Dwayne andOlive.

SHERYL
Okay. Goodnight. Sleep tight.

Everyone waves goodnight to each other.

53

INT. MOTEL ROOM ELEVEN - NIGHT

Sheryl and Richard enter. Sherylcloses the door.

RICHARD
What a fucking nightmare ...!
SHERYL
Richard ... We have to talk.
RICHARD
Please, not now. Let's just get through this and get home...
SHERYL
No, Richard. We need to talk now.
54

INT. MOTEL ROOMTWELVE - NIGHT

Dwayne lieson his bed staring at the ceiling. Through the walls we canHEAR Sheryl and Richard arguing very loudly.

SHERYL (0.S. )
You said it wasa done deal!!!
RICHARD (0.S.)
Stan gave me his word!

4t$.

SHERYL (0.S. )
I'm not married to Stan Grossman! Jesus, Richard, what're we gonna do?

RICHARD {0.S.) We just keep going...

SHERYL (O.S.)
I can't, Richard, it's too much! It's too much, I can't take it!

Et cetera. Frank wanders out of the bathroom,squirting Rogaine on his head and rubbing his scalp. He watches Dwayne.

FRANK
Hey. Dontt listen to that. Come on, let's watch the tube.

He turns on theTV. Dwayne sits up and turns theTV off. He lies down, stares at the ceiling again.Frank looks at him.

FRANK
I'm gonna brush my teeth.

He turns and goes back to the bathroom.

55

INT.MOTEL BATHROOM - NIGHT

Frartkenters, turns on the faucet,prepares to brush his teeth. He sees himself in the mirror and stops. A beat.

He opens up his wallet, pulls out the photo he looked at earlier, stares at it. Again,we can't see the photo.

He looks at himself in the mirror again.

56

INT. MOTEL ROOM TWELVE -NIGHT

The fight continues. Dwayne listens, scowling.

RICHARD (O.S.)
I trusted him, okay?! Step Three is you have to trust people!
SHERYL (0.S. )
Fuck the NineSteps, Richard! They're not working! It's overt!! Forget it!!! I never want to hear the NineSteps again!!!

A stunned silence. Dwayne, hearing this, just barely smiles.

57

INT. MOTEL ROOMTHIRTEEN - NIGHT

Grandpa tucksOlive -- in pajamas -- into bed. It's quiet-- we can't hear Sheryland Richard fighting.

GRANDPA
There you go. Snug as a bug in a rug.
OLIVE
Grandpa ... ?
GRANDPA
Yeah?

Shehesitates.

OLIVE
I'm kind of scared abouttomorrow.
GRANDPA
Olive, you're gonna blow 'em out of the water. I guarantee it. They won't know what hit 'em.

She smiles. He/s about to leave her when ...

OLIVE
Grandpa ... ?

He turns back. Shehesitates again. Something's really

58

BOTHERING HER.

GRANDPA (cont'd)
It's okay. What's the matter?
OLIVE
I don't want to be a loser.
GRANDPA
You're nota loser, Olive! Why do you say that?!
OLIVE
Because ...!Dad hates losers. That's what he said!
GRANDPA
But you're not a loser! And your Dad would never hate you, ever!
OLIVE
But what if I lose tomorrow?

She's on the verge of tears. He takes her hand.

...JVe

GRANDPA
Whoa, whoa, back up a second. You can't lose. You know why? Becausea real loser isn't someone who doesn't win. A real loser is someone who's so afraid of not winning they don't even try. That's not you! You're in the contest! You're gonna dance! So even if you win,or you don't win, you've already won! See? You see? You-see-you-see-you-see?

He tickles her. Shesqueals. He stops, brushes her hair.

GRANDPA
I think we're gonna have fun tomorrow. You think?
(she nods)
Okay. I'm gonna get ready for bed. Goodnight. Sleep tight.
OLIVE
Don't let the bedbugs bite!

He gives hera kiss, turns off the lamp.

59

INT. MOTELROOM TWELVE - NIGHT

Frank re-entersfrom the bathroom wearing monogrammed silk pajamas,a sleeping mask on his head. Dwayne is in bed readingTHUS SPOKE ZARATtruSTRA. Frank climbs into bed.

Dwayne sits up,looks at Frank, concerned.

FRANK
What?

Dwayne shows his pad of paper to Frank. It reads:

"Please don't kill yourself tonight"

Frank shakes his head.

FRANK (cont'd)
Not on your watch. Iwouldn't do that to you.

Dwayne nods, relieved. Frank pulls his sleeping mask over his eyes, lies back. Dwayne leans over, turns out the light.

60

INT. MOTEL BATHROOM- DAY

Grandpa enters and locks door.

He opens his shaving kit and takes out asmall mirror anda tiny ziploc baggie filled with lightbrown powder.

61

INT. MOTEL ROOMELEVEN - NIGHT

Richard and Sheryl siton opposite sides of the bedrnot facing each other. It's quiet. They've hit rock bottom.

SHERYL
Maybe we should try living apart. Just fora while.

Richard closes his eyes. This killshim.

Abruptly,Richard stands, gathers his keys,wallet, etc.

SHERYL
What're you doing? Richard ... ?
RICHARD
I'm gonna fix this.
SHERYL
Richard ...
RICHARD
I'm gonna fix this. Don't worry.

He grabs his coat and exits,very determined. Sheryl, left behind, _flopsback on the bed.

62

EXT. MOTEL PARKINGLOT -NIGHT

Richard strides to theVW bus, parked parallel on the street.

A small crowd ofTEENAGERS is hanging out, smoking and ·drinking. Three Teen Boys are puttering around on mopeds.

Richard -- on a mission-- climbs in the VW's driver's seat and starts it up. He shifts into third andREVS the engine.

The \rr#doesn:t move.He REVS it very high and loud,jostling in his seat to try to get the bus going. It stays still.

Richard takes his foot of the gasfslumps back.

The Teens stop chatting and stare at him.Richard,at the end of hisrope, turns and looks at the Teens and their mopeds.

JUMP TO:

Richard walks up to the Teens on theirmopeds. They are wary. Richard smiles, tries to be friendly.

RICHARD
Hey! How would one of you guys like to maketwenty dollars?

The Teenslook at each other.

TEEN BOY
Fuck off,fag.

Thisamuses the other Teens. Richard -- undeterred-- pulls out his wallet,opens it up to see how much cash he has.

RICHARD
Okay, look ...
CUT TO:
63

EXT. HIGHWAY ENTRANCE - NIGHT -LONG SHOT

An empty highway entrance, lit by streetlamps. Interstate traffic flies by at 70mph -- cars,SUVs, eighteen wheelers.

Into the frame and down the entranceramp rides Richard, balanced precariously ona borrowed moped, pushing 35mph.

He edges into the break-down lane and drives parallel to the SWOOSHING traffic, a look of grim determination on his face.

He passes a sign that reads/"Atlanta, 23 Miles." *

FADE TO BLACK
64

EXT. MOTEL PLAYGROUND- NIGHT

It's quiet. An empty children's playground sits near the motel/ lit by a single streetlamp.

Sheryl lies ona platform swing, rocking back and for~h, smoking a cigarette,staring up at the stars.

She looks at her wedding ring/jiggles it with her thumb.

FADE IN theWHINE of a moped.

65

EXT. HOTEL PARKINGLOT - NIGHT

Richard pulls into parking lot ofa large chain hotel. A marquee out front reads,"Life/Styles Expo. Welcome!"

66

INT. HOTELHALLWAY - NIGHT

Richard comes ina side exit and stridesdown a long, carpeted hallway. Empty rooms the hall.

Outside each conferenceroom is an easel with a foam board mock-up of a self-help book cover. Richard walks past face after face of aspiringself-help gurus.

67

INT. HOTEL LOBBY- NIGHT

Richard -- windblown, still in shorts and sneakers--strides into a well-appointed lobby. A female CONCIERGE ison late- night duty. He walks to a courtesy phone, picks itup.

RICHARD (cont'd)
(into phone)
Stan Grossman/please. Thank you.

Through the receiver,we hear RINGING. Then VOICE-MAIL.

VOICE MAIL
(via phone)
The hotel guest you're calling is not available. Please leave a message at the tone.

BEEP.

RICHARD
Stan, it's Richard...
(at a loss)
I don'tknow where the fuck you are. I'm at your hotel. Call me.

He hangsup and looks around/ exasperated. He takes out his cell phone and dials. He puts the phone to his ear.

As the phoneRINGS in his ear, we hear the synchronized BLEATING ofa cell phone from the hotel bar nearby.

It takes Richard asecond to make the connection. He turns.

In the bar/lounge,a boistrous group ofCORPORATE TYPES prosperously attired men,meticulously groomed women-- are seated around a booth,drinking and laughing together.

Holding court is Stan Grossman,a swarthy mid-30s go-getter wearing khakis, loafers, and a cashmereV-neck.

Richard watches as Stan pulls out his cell phone,checks the caller ID, shakes his head, puts the phoneaway.

Richard -- phone in his ear --walks over and stands behind Stan Grossman, staring down at him. The Corporate Types stop laughing. Stan turns, looksup at Richard. Richard smiles.

Hi~ Stan!

68

EXT. HOTEL PARKINGLOT - NIGHT

Richard andStan argue next to a dumpster in the parking lot behind the hotel. Richard's borrowed moped is parked nearby.

RICHARD
You said it would ...!
STAN GROSSMAN
That's whatI thought! At the time!

RICHARD * But it'sa great program! You said * yourself! I don't understand...! *

STANGROSSMAN
It's not the program,Richard, it's you,okay? No one's heard of you. Nobody cares.

Richard exhales,shakes his head, gathers himself.

RICHARD
Sowhat's the next step?
STANGROSSMAN
There is none. We had our shot. It didn't fly. We move on.
RICHARD
You mean give up.
STAN GROSSMAN
Richard ...
RICHARD
One set back, you're ready to quit.
STAN GROSSMAN
Richard, listen -- I pushed this thing hard, okay? I rammed itdown their fucking throats, all right? No one bought it. Now, Iknow the market. It's time to moveon. You're not gonna win this one.

Richard stares at Stan, absorbing this. Then he speaks with a strained nonchalance, nodding and smiling.

RICHARD
Okay...! Good! I'm glad. You know why? is what the Nine Steps are all about ...
STAN GROSSMAN
Richard! Jesus...!
RICHARD
You blew itr Stan. You,re out.

Richard turns and walks off. Stan can't believe it. He watches Richard, shakes his head and re-enters the hotel.

Richard strides to the moped,looks both ways, climbson and pedals furiously. The moped sputters to life.

69

EXT. HIGHWAY -NIGHT

Richard, grim,rides his borrowed moped along the breakdown lane as cars and trucksROAR past him.

This is -- handsdown -- the worst moment of his life.

Then there'sa FLASH of lightning and a CLAPof thunder. It starts to rain. Richard keeps riding.

70

INT. MOTEL -NIGHT

A darkened motelroom. We hear the WHINE of the moped as it pulls into the parking lot andup to the door.

The door opens and Richard --dazed, soaking wet-- steps in.

He closes the door behind him;walks over, lieson the bed fully clothed-- and stares up at the ceiling.

Sheryl, sleeping,wakes up and sees Richard.

SHERYL
Y'okay?

He nods. Sheryl rubs his arm, rollsover, goes back to sleep. Richard stares up at the ceiling.

FADE TO BLACK
OLIVE (V.0. )
Dad ... ?
71

INT.MOTEL ROOM - DAWN

Richard opens his eyes. Olive is standing next to the bed. The blue light of dawn is coming through the windows.

RICHARD
What is it, hon ... ?
OLIVE
Grandpa won't wake up.

Richard takes this in.

72

EXT. AMBULANCEROOF - DAY

We are behind the lights of an ambulance as it speedsdowna commercial strip. The LIGHTS FLASHand SIREN BLARES.

73

INT. HOSPITALWAITING ROOM - DAY

Everyone sits silently in a waiting room,waiting for news.

Olive,bored, goes through a rack of medical flyers. She takesone and approaches Dwayne.

OLIVE
You want to take an eye test?
(Dwayne shakes his head)
Uncle Frank? You want to takean eye test?
SHERYL
Olive, come here. Put that away. We're gonna have a familymeeting. Dwayne? Family meeting.
RICHARD
What? Now?
SHERYL
Richard ...! Let 1 Sjust do it.

She takes a breath. She turns to the kids.

SHERYL (cont'd)
First of all, the doctors are doing everything they can to help Grandpa right now. He's had a long...
(searches for words)
... eventful life,and Iknow he loves both of you very much. But if God wants to take him,we have to be ready to accept that,okay?
(they nod)
Now, I think you guysknow we've been having money problems lately,with Richard's venture and everything ... * ,Things haven't really gone the way we hoped. So it looks like when we gethome we might have to makesome changes in the way we live. We might have to move out of our house. We might have to declare bankruptcy. I don'tknow. I have to talk to a lawyer about all that.
74

,)I•

Shelooks at Richard, the kids. Her voice becomes shaky.

SHERYL (cont'd)
But whatever happens -- we'rea family. What's important is that we love each other. I love you guys sol so, so much ...

She turns away, starts to cry. Frank puts his hand on her shoulder. Sheryl grasps it. Olive and Dwayne watch Sheryl.

Dwayne writes a note, shows it toOlive. It reads:

"Go hug Mom!"

Olive goes and hugs Sheryl. Sheryl, crying, picks upOlive and holds her in her lap,hugging her. Dwayne gets up,goes across the waiting room and stares out the window.

OUT THE WINDOW

A second floor view. It'sa banal suburban landscape. Cars go busily back and forthon a distant road.

Dwayne just stares out the window with a blank face.Behind him, a DOCTOR enters the waiting area.

DOCTOR
Are you the family ofEdwin Harvey?
75

INT. HOSPITALROOM ~ DAY

Everyone is gathered in a smaller room. The Doctor closes the door behind him. He turns to face them.

DOCTOR
I'm sorry. We did everything we could. He was ... It was too much. He probably fell asleep and never woke up. I'll havesomeone come talk about handling the remains.
RICHARD
Thank you. Appreciate it.

The Doctor opens the door and callsdown the hall.

DOCTOR
Linda ... !

He gestures, then departs. Silence.

OLTVE
Is Grandpa dead?
SHERYL
Yeah, honey. He's passed away.

Olivenods, says nothing.

A hospital administrator,LINDA, comes in with asheaf of papers. She is overburdened and all business.

LINDA
I'm your bereavement liaison, Linda. My consolations for your loss.
RICHARD
Thank you, Linda.

Linda hands Richard her sheaf of paperwork.

LINDA
(fast,indifferent)
Okay. These are the formsyou need to fill out -- death certificate, report of death and the M.E.pink slip. Try and be as detailed as possible. This is a brochure for our Grief Recovery SupportGroup that meets Tuesdays. If you'd like, I can refer you at this time to a funeral home so you can begin making arrangements.

Richard and Sheryl glance at each other.

RICHARD
Urn,actually, pre-arrangements have been made with a home in Maryland.
LINDA
In Maryland ... ?
RICHARD
Yeah, we're passing through. Y'see, we're trying to get to Boca Raton ...
LINDA
Okay -- if the body is crossing state lines? You're gonna need a Burial Transit Permit from the

County Registrar ...

_RICHARD

Okay, fine, but here's the thing -- we're trying to get toBoca Raton by three 01 Clockthis afternoon ...

LINDA
Three o'clock? Today?
(checks her watch)
That ain't gonna happen.
RICHARD
It's for my daughter. This is really important.
LINDA
It may be important,but you still have to fill out this paperwork.
RICHARD
Okay, I know this is unusual... Is there a way we can go andcome back? I mean, can we do paperwork later?
LINDA
You can't abandon the body...

RICHARD LINDA *

I'm not gonna abandon the ... Otherwise the hospital * body. I just want togo and becomes responsible ...Sir, * come back. We just need to there's a way these things * get toBoca and then we'll need to be done. Sir? * come back! We'll come back! Sir... ? Sir!!! *

~INDA (cont' d) Sir, smay surprise you, but you'·renot the only onewh0 1Shad someone die here today, all right?! Now we have a wa~ of * doing things around here,and I'm gonna ask you to respect our rulesand procedures!

Silence. Richard stares at the floor,seething. A pause. Richard speaks with great restraint.

RICHARD
Could you ... ?Is there away we could view the remains?
LINDA
(nods,also restrained} I'll show you/ yes. We haven't had a chance to move him downstairs.

She leads them out.

76

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR -DAY

Linda stops in front of an intensive careroom.

LINDA
He's in here. Now someone may come by in a few minutes to take him to the basement,but just tell them who you are. They'll wait.
RICHARD
Thank you.
LINDA
When you're done with the paperwork I'll be in the nurse's station.
RICHARD
Okay. Great. Thank you, Linda.

She departs.

77

INT. INTENSIVECARE ROOM - DAY

They enter. It's quiet. There'sa body under a sheet.

Richard walks over and peers under it,then puts itdown.

He turns away and faces the wall. He starts hyperventilating -- choking down the emotion. He doesn't want to lose control, and he's not comfortable showing his feelings.

RICHARD
(under his breath)
Goddamn it, Dad. Goddamn it.
(beat)
Stupid, stupid, stupid...!!! *

He shakes his head and takesa few sharp breaths, getting himself under control -- still facing the wall.

Sheryl hugsOlive, stroking her hair. Olive is dry-eyed this is all new to her. Sheryl bends down and whispers:

SHERYL
We'lldo Little Miss Sunshine next year. Okay, honey? Next year.

Olivenods. No one says anything. Finally, Richard turns around. He is very determined.

RICHARD
No. We've come seven hundred miles. I'll be damned if I'm not making that contest.
SHERYL
Honey... We can't leave him!
RICHARD
We're not going to leave him.

Richard dumps the paperwork ina wastebasket. He opens the door, glances into the hallway. He closes the door.

RICHARD (cont'd)
Fuck ...!

He looks desperately around the room. He sees the window.

He goes to the window,opens it up.

78

EXT. HOSPITAL -DAY

Richard peers out the window. He's at the back side of the building, seven or eight feetabove a near-empty parking lot.

79

INT. INTENSIVECARE ROOM - DAY

Richard ducks back in. He tosses his car keys to Dwayne.

RICHARD
Dwayne. Go around outside.
SHERYL
Richard... Whgt are you thinking?
RICHARD
We'll take him with us.
SHERYL
No, Richard. No. That's not going to happen.
RICHARD
He's better off with us than with these people!
(toDwayne)
Go under the window. Frank,you go with him.
SHERYL
Dwayne, don't you dare!
(to Richard)
Look: you stay here. We'll take

\

Olive. Frank'll drive!

RICHARD
We'll be there in two hours! I'll have a funeral home meet us assoon as we arrive!
(never say die:)
Listen, everyone.
(MORE)

b~. RICHARD (cont'd) If there's one thing Grandpa would've wanted, it's to haveOlive perform at the Little MissSunshine pageant. Ibelieve we'd be doing a grave disservice to hismemory if we gave up now. There's two kinds of people in the world:winners and losers. And what's the difference? Winners don't give up. So what are we here? Are we winners? Or losers?

CUT TO:
80

EXT. HOSPITAL- DAY

Richard peeks out the window.

RICHARD
Okay,ready?

Frank,Dwayne, Sheryl and Olive stand under the window, trying to look inconspicuous. Frank gestures -- Wait.

Across the lot,two NURSES stroll toward the hospital.

FRANK
Not yet ... Not yet ...

The Nurses pass out of sight.

FRANK {cont'd) Okay -- go, go, go!

Richard disappears fora second,then reappears with a big bundle wrapped ina sheet. He hoists it into the window.

RICHARD
Careful ... Careful ...

He edges the bundle off the window ledge. Frank and Dwayne gently lower the bundle to the ground. They glance around.

FRANK
Okay! Here we go! One, two ...

Frank, Dwayne, Sheryl and Olivelift the bundle together and scuttle across the parking lot to .theVW bus fifty feetaway.

An ELDERLY COUPLE walking fifty yardsaway observes them.

FRANK {cont' d) Be cool. Be cool. Almost there.

They arrive at the bus.

Dwayne whipsopen the vw~s back door (a hatchback that hides your luggage)and they hoist the bundle in. Frank slams the door closed. Richard comes sprinting into the parking lot.

RICHARD
Okayr let's roll! You ready?
FRANK
Any time, Rich!

Richard starts up the bus,gets out and helpsthem push.

They get the bus rolling. The lot is ata slight incline~ which helps. Finally, Richard jumps behind the wheel.

RICHARD
Okay, I'm putting it into gear ...!

Sheryl and Olive jump in the side door.

Frank and Dwayne run behind the bus,pushing like crazy.

FRANK
Did I mention 11 mthe pre-eminent Proust scholar in the US?

Richard REVS the engine and puts it in third. The bus begins picking up speed. Dwayne and Frank sprint along side.

This time, IYwayneis prepared to push Frank up along-side the bus. Frank lunges in. Dwaynejumps in after him.

81

INT. VW BUS - DAY

Dwayne slides the door shut. They're giddy and breathless from the escape. They quickly sober up.

RICHARD
Okay, what time is it?
SHERYL
(checks her watch)
It's 11:30. How much further ... ?
RICHARD
I dunno. Two hundred miles ... ?
FRANK
And when does registration end?
SHERYL
Three o'clock.

They do the math.

FRANK
It's gonna be close.
RICHARD
No,we'll make it. We just can't stop. No one has to pee, right?

Oliveis thinking.

OLIVE
Dad? What's gonna happen to Grandpa?
RICHARD
Honey, as soon as we get to Florida, I'm gonna call a funeral home in Maryland and theyrll take care of everything. Your Grandpa was smart and planned ahead. Okay?

Olivenods. That's not really what shewas asking about. Sherylsees this.

SHERYL
Honey, Grandpa's soul is in Heaven now. He's with God. Okay?

Olive nods. She turns and looks out the window.

OUT THE WINDOW

82

THE PASSING LANDSCAPE OF THE ROAD LEADING BACK TO THE

Interstate. It seems a long wayfrom God.

CLOSE ON OLIVE

Thinking.

FADETO BLACK

Begin MUSIC the same quiet tune that began the film.

83

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY - MONTAGE

The VW cruises past fields,billboards~ farms, rest stops.

84

INT. VW BUS - ON THE ROAD -DAY - MONTAGE

The dialogue below plays over the following shots.

The family drives in silence,each looking out the window.

Richard drives ·--stoic,determined.

Sheryl is pensive. Shesneaks glances at Richard.

Frank, subdued,watches Sheryl. He rubs Oliveon the head.

Olive,headphones around her neck, stares out the window.

Dwayne lies acrossthe back seat, staring up.

DWAYNE'SPOV - Passing power lines undulate against the sky.

From the back,we see the highway passing as each person is lost in a reverie.

Sheryl,in the front, looks at Richard, reaches over and rubs Richard's neck. Richard glances at her,keeps driving.

OLIVE (0.S.)
Uncle Frank? Does everyone get to * go toHeaven?
FRANK (O.S.)
That's an excellent question, Olive. Actually, the Hindus believe that you get as many lives as you want. Buddhists believe that you live many lives but ata certain point you reach Nirvana and cross the finish line. Christians believe you only get one life -- they don't believe in do-overs.
OLIVE (O.S.}
What do you believe?
FRANK (0•S•)
I dunno. I haven't mademy mind up. What about you?
OLIVE
I think everyone goes to Heaven.
FRANK
Even me?
OLIVE
Yes!
FRANK
You promise?
OLIVE
Yes!!!
FADE TO BLACK

oo.

85

INT. VWBUS - ON THE ROAD - DAY

They are cruising. Olive has her headphones back on,though she's not bouncing anymore -- just nodding her head.Sheryl points toa passing sign/ "Boca Raton-- 61Miles."

SHERYL
Sixty one miles. What time is it?

Frank checks his watch.

FRANK
Five of two ... !

Sheryl looks worriedly at Richard. Richard steps on the gas.

RICHARD
We'll make it! Don't worry!
SHERYL
We're cutting it close ...
RICHARD
It's not even close! We'll be ...

A car cuts in front of him. He brakes.

RICHARD (cont1d)
Look out! Asshole!

He HONKS the horn loudly at theguy.

FRANK
What happened?
RICHARD
He cut me off!

The horn keepsHONKING intermittently.

SHERYL
Okay. You can stop now.
RICHARD
It's not me! This thing is stuck.

He tries to pull the horn button up. Instead,he gets a long continuousHOOOONK. He lets go. It stops.

SHERYL
Okay, just leave it ...!

Silence. Then a HO~~. Another silence. HONK, HONK.

SHERYL {cont'd) Maybe if you pull itfrom...

She tries to lift up another part.HOOOOONK. She stops.

RICHARD
Just leave it,okay? We'll fix it when we get toBoca!
SHERYL
Okay, fine!

Silence. HONK! Silence. HONK! HONK! Silence. Dwayne puts his head in his hands. He can't stand it.

FRANK
How many days \til you enlist?

Dwayne pulls out his pad and writes. He shows it:

"623"

Frank contemplates this.

, FRANK {cont'd) Maybe I can adopt you.

Dwayne stares out the window. HONK! Silence. HOOONK!

86

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

The van, its horn BLARING, cruises pasta State Trooper hiding behind an evergreen. The TROOPER hits the lights.

87

INT. VW BUS - ON THE ROAD -DAY

Richard sees the lights in the rear-view mirror.

RICHARD
Oh, Jesus! I'm being pulled over! Everybody: act normal, okay?. Like everything is normal. Here we go ...

He pulls onto the breakdown lane and stops. The HORN continues HONKING intermittently. The Trooper, a 50-ish good ol' boy, gets out and approaches.

TROOPER
How're you folks doin'today?
RICHARD
Fine! Doin' fine! {HONK) Sorry!
TROOPER
Having trouble with your horn?
RICHARD
Yeah,a little trouble.
(HONK)
Sorry!
(HONK)
Sorry!!!

Frank leans forward gleefully:

FRANK
Don't apologize, Rich! It's a sign of weakness!

Richard ignores him.

TROOPER
Would you step out of your vehicle?
88

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

Reluctantly, Richard gets out. The Trooper gestures towards the back of the van.

TROOPER
Would you step thisway?
RICHARD
No ... !
TROOPER
What?
RICHARD
Don't ...!
TROOPER
Don't what?

Richard shuts up. The Trooper sees him glance at the trunk.

TROOPER
You have something in your trunk?
RICHARD
No! Nothing! There's nothing. It 1 S just ...Don't open it.

The Trooper is incredulous.

6Y.

TROOPER
Sir, you realize you've just given * me probable cause to search your trunk? Putyour hands on top of your vehicle. Now don't move.

He shakes his head and walks back towards the trunk.

RICHARD
Please! It's not illegal, it's ... *
TROOPER
Sir, I'd advise you to keep your mouth shut.

Richard shuts up. The Trooper pulls his gun and hesitantly approaches the trunk.

89

INT. VW BUS - DAY

Everyone surreptitiously watches the Trooper.

SHERYL
(sotto)
Oh no, what's he doing?!
90

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

Richard watches the Trooper walk around the back of the bus and reach for the trunk. He closes his eyes.

The Trooper opens the trunk.

TROOPER
Whoa! Goddamn!!!

Richard opens hiseyes, shakes his head -- this is the end.

TROOPER
Sir, would you come here?

Richard walks back. The Trooper bends down behind the bus.

Rounding the corner,Richard sees the Trooper picking up Grandpa's porn magazines, which have spilled onto the road.

The bundled sheet sits in plain sight. The Trooper, distracted, gathers the magazines and stands. He grins.

TROOPER (cont'd}
Don't worry, I ain't gonna bust you.
91

INT. VW BUS- DAY

Everyone in the bus -- mindsblown -- waves back.

92

EXT.HIGHWAY - DAY

The Trooper tidies the magazines and,grinning,shuffles throughthem with a connoisseur's eye Swank, High Society, Black Tail. The next magazine: Honcho.

A beefy, moustached stud gazes smolderingly from the cover.

The Trooper stops grinning·. He looks at Richard. Richard shrugs and laughs nervously.

93

INT. VW BUS - DAY

As the Trooper's cruiser pulls back onto the highway, Richard walks to the front,climbs in, slams the door.

SHERYL
What happened?!
RICHARD
(st~ely)
I'll tell you when Iregain consciousness.
(starts the car)
Frank. Dwayne. Get out and push.
94

INT. VW BUS -ON THE ROAD - DAY

They are cruls1ng. The horn HONKS in occasional spurts. Everyone ignores it. Olive plays with an eye chart she got at the hospital. She points at a diminishing set of"E"s.

Dwayne is in the back seat,holding a hand over one eye and pointing his finger up,down~ or sideways to correspond to the rotation of the"E". Dwayne makes itthrough the chart.

OLIVE
20/20vision! Mom, Dwayne has 20/20 vision!
SHERYL
I bet he does.
OLIVE
Okay, further back!

Dwayne and Olive continue with the charts,with Dwayne sitting further back. Sherylpoints to a passing sign.

SHERYL
Boca Raton!

Frank checks his watch.

FRANK
ItIs 2 : 15PM.••!

Sheryl looks at Richard,who steps on the gas.

RICHARD
We'll make it, okay?! Maybe a few minutes late.
SHERYL
No, Richard ... !They said three 01 Clocksharp!··Theywere very explicit. You don't want tofuck with these people. Trust me.
FRANK
You know where it is?
SHERYL
The Holiday Inn. She said it's just off the highway. You can't miss it.
RICHARD
She better be right.

In the back,Olive pulls out a new flyer.

OLIVE
Okay,now I'm gonna test if you're colorblind. What letter is in the circle?

She holds up a chart with a green circle. Inside the circle, in a mosaic pattern, is a bright red letter"A,'. Dwayne makes a gesture, "There's nothing there."

OLIVE (cont'd)
No, inside the circle! Right there!

uwayne shakes his head again. Olive glances at Frank.

OLIVE (cont'd)
It's an "A"! Can't you see it?! It's red! See? Right there!

Dwayne takes the chart and stares at it.

FRANK
You can't see the "A"? It's bright red. Can you see the difference between the green and the red?

Dwayne his head turns away.

FRANK (cont' d)
Oh, man.

Dwayne looks at him. He pulls out his pad and writes:

"What?"

Frank doesn't say anything. Dwayne points violently at the pad. Frank looks at him. Quietly:

FRANK {cant' d) Dwayne. I think you're colorblind.

Dwayne doesn't understand. He points at the pad again.

FRANK (cant' d)
You can't fly jets in the Navy if you're colorblind.

Dwayne does nothing. Then he seems toimplode in on himself, curling up in a ball. Frank shouts towards the front.

FRANK (cont'd)
Rich, pull over!
RICHARD
What?!
FRANK
We have an emergency backhere!
RICHARD
What is it?
FRANK
Just pull over!
RICHARD
What's the emergency?

F:R.AN".K Sheryl,will you make him pull over?!

SHERYL
Richard...!
RICHARD
We're gonna be late if ...
SHERYL
Richard!!!
RICHARD
I'm

He puts on the clicker.

95

EXT. SIDEOF THE INTERSTATE - DAY

The bus pulls into thebreak-down lane beside the highway.

The door slides open and Dwayne gets out onto the grassy slope by the side of the road. He walks off with his head in his hands. This is the first time we've heard his voice.

DWAYNE
Fuck!!!
(beat)
Fuck!!!

The others get out of the car and watch him.

SHERYL
What happened?
FRANK
He's colorblind. He can't fly.
SHERYL
Oh, Jesus. Oh, no.

Thirty yards away Dwayne falls to his knees,buries his hands and face in the grass, and SHRIEKSlike a wild animal.

There,s an out-of-control quality to his behavior that is scary and disturbing. Finally,Dwayne rolls to a sitting position, his hands covering his face.

He sits there crying. The others don,tknow what to do.

Richard glances at Sheryl. He points at his watch and shrugs.

SHERYL (cont'd)
Let's give him a second.

In the background, theVW keeps HONKING like some demonic beast --mocking Dwayne's helplessness.

Finally, Sheryl approachesDwayne.

SHERYL (cont' d)
Dwayne? Honey? I'm sorry.

He says nothing. She sighs.

SHERYL
Dwayne ... Come on,we gotta go.
DWAYNE
I'm not
SHERYL
Dwayne...
DWAYNE
I'mnotl I don't care! I'm not getting in that bus again!
SHERYL
Dwayne ...For better or worse: we're your family...

Dwayne stands up and screams at them.

DWAYNE
You're not my family! I don't want to be your family! I hate you fucking people! I hate you! {he points atthem) Divorce! Bankrupt! Suicide! You're losers! You're fucking losers!

Everyone is stunned by this outburst. Dwayne puts his hands over his eyes and sits down again.

DWAYNE (cont'd)
Just leave me, Mom. Please? Just leave me here.

Sheryl gets up and walks back to the others.

SHERYL
I don't know what to do.
RICHARD
We're gonna be late. Can we leave somebody here with him?
FRANK
I'll stay.
SHERYL
No, we're not doing that.
RICHARD
Olive, you want to talk to him?
SHERYL
No, Richard. There's nothing to say. We just have to wait.

A beat. Then Olivewalks over and sits do~m next to Dwayne.

red and snot is dribbling from He straw 's some ants in

She puts her ar.m on his shoulder and watches him poke.The ants climb busily over the grass. They sit quietly.

Then Dwayne stands up.

DWAYNE
Okay, let's go.

He walks back to the others. His voice is automatic.

DWAYNE (cant d)
I apologize for the thingsI said. I was upset. I didn't really mean * them. *
FRANK
(mock-tender)
Dwayne. . .We know you did.
SHERYL
Frank...
(to Dwayne)
It's okay. Let's just go.

They all start pushing the bus.

96

INT. VW BUS - ONTHE ROAD - DAY

Richard is weaving through traffic -- the engine's~~liNG VERY HIGH. Richard,Sheryl~ Olive, and Frank are looking ahead intently.Dwayne is slouched in the back,staring at ·nothing. The horn has tapered off to an occasionalHONK.

Frank checks his watch.

FRANK
2:50 ... !
RICHARD
We're gonna makeit! Olive, don't worry! We'll be on time!
JUMP TO:

The same. Frank checks his watch.

FRANK
2:55!
RICHARD
Just look for the exit! It's comingup!
JUMP TO:

The same. Frank checks his watch again.

FRANK
2:58!

No one says anything. Then Richard points.

RICHARD
There! That's it! Can anyone see a Holiday Inn?

A beat. Olivepoints.

OLIVE
There! Little MissSunshine!

As they ride up the exitramp, the sign in front of the Holiday Inn reads,"Little Miss Sunshine."

Richard comes off theramp onto a four lane commercial road.

There,s amaze of service roads and parking lots between him and the Holiday Inn. Richard is baffled.

RICHARD
How the fuckdo you get over there?
SHERYL
Turn here! Turn here!

Richard takesa right into a service road.

SHERYL (cont'd)
Will you slow down?
RICHARD
I can't! I'm in third gear!
FRANK
2:59PM!
RICHARD
Does anyone see a turn-off? How the fuck do you get over there?

They drive past the Holiday Inn --a few hundred yards away.

OLIVE
Dad! You drove past it!
RICHARD
There's no place to turn in!
SHERYL
Turn You turn around!
RICHARD
Okay,hold on, everybody.

TheVW screeches around in a wide arc acrossfour lanes of (luckily empty) traffic. Richard guns the under-revving engine. They again drive past the distant Holiday Inn.

RICHARD (cont'd)
Can anyone see a way in?
SHERYL
Go over there/ then cut across!
RICHARD
Okayr hold on!

The VW squeals around a left turn onto another service road.

RICHARD (cont'd)
Therers no way in! What the fuck?!
OLIVE
Dad! You're driving past
SHERYL
There! Into the parking lot!

She points. Richard turns into an enormousempty parking lot. He drives towards the HolidayIr~ in the distance.

There's-stillno clear path on how to get there.

RICHARD
It's a dead end!
SHERYL
No, go over there!
RICHARD
It's thesame! There's no way...!

He turns the wheel and they begin tracingawide loop -- bombing around the parking lot at35mph ina holding pattern.

FRANK
Three o'clock!
OLIVE
Dad ...!
SHERYL
Go back out!
RICHARD
We 's no way in!
SHERYL
So we just keep going in circles?

Richard says nothing. Finally:

RICHARD
Okay:Hold on, everybody! Olive, put your seat belt on.

He comes out ofa wide arc and heads straight for the median strips separating him from the Holiday Inn.

SHERYL
Oh,my God!
RICHARD
Hold on,everyone!

He guns it. As soon as he hits the first median,the HORN goes off and doesn't stop. They're in anew parking lot.

SHERYL
Look out!

Richard goes SCREECHING past several parked cars. They're one median strip away from the Holiday Inn parking lot.

RICHARD
One more! Here we go! Hold on!

They hit the median hard. A big bump. They've made it into the Holiday Inn parking lot. The whole van sags to the rear.

Frank looks out the rear window.

A tire is wheeling off across the parking lot by itself.

FRANK
We lost a tire, Rich!
RICHARD
We'll get it later! Here we go!

They come gliding intoa parking space, HORN BLARING.

Frank yanks open the sliding door. It slides back, slams into the end of the track and derails. The whole door falls off the side of the van and into the parking lot.

Frank doesn't even look back. He sprints across the lot towards a distant banner marked"LittleMiss Sunshine."

All others-- Dwayne -- sprint him.

97

INT. REGISTRATIONHALL - DAY

A big carpeted hotellobby.

The doors open and Frank comes in, breathless.He stops.

The place is crawling with tiny blond girls and their stressed mothers. The girls are dressed,coiffed and made-up to within an inch of their life.

Nearby, aCONTEST OFFICIAL is packingup her things behind a table with a"Registration" banner.

Frank sprints up to her. The others catchup and stand, looking on -- desperate,disshevelled,breathing hard.

FRANK
Hi, we're here to register!
OFFICIAL
I'm sorry,we're closed.
FRANK
But we have an entrant. Right here. We just need to check in.
OFFICIAL
Registration ended at three.
FRANK
It's three now!
OFFICIAL
No ...

She points to a clock on the wall. It's 3:04PM.

RICHARD
Oh, have a heart! We're four minutes late! We just drove all the way from Maryland...!
OFFICIAL
Then you should have been hereby three.

She tries to leave. Richard stops her.

RICHARD
Wait,wait, wait! How can we make this work?

Everyone was three. I'd be giving unfair

RICHARD
We're not asking for an advantage! We just want to compete!
OFFICIAL
Don't yell at me, sir. I didn't make you late. We've settled on the schedule of the show and we've turned off our computers. Now the show starts in twenty minutes, I have a hair check to do,I'm sorry you're laterbut I can't help you.

She tries to leave but they block her way. Richard gets on his knees.

RICHARD
Please! You don'tknow what we've been through ...!
SOUND GUY (0.S•)
Uh,Ms. Jenkins ... ?

They all turn. There's a SOUND GUY --a very portly young man with a high voice -- who's clearly just heard the story.

SOUNDGUY (cont'd)
I can put 'emin the system.

OfFICIAL Oh, Kirby, you don't have to!

KIRBY
No, it's okay. It's five minutes.
OFFICIAL
Well ... It's your time. 'Scuseme.

She pushes past them. Frank leaps up.

FRANK
Hello! Everyone?! We've just witnessed a great act of compassion and human kindness! Exhibit A: we've got Eva Braun here -- making the trains run on time,and B: Kirby! My man! Currently the greatesthuman being on the planet! Applause,please!

He leads the others in applause. Everyone else in the lobby ignores them. Kirby smiles, flips on the computer. They crowd around.

SHERYL
Thank you so much! You don't know what thismeans ...
KIRBY
Please. It's five minutes.

He glances in the direction of theOfficial,who has departed, and shakes his head. Quietly:

KIRBY (cont'd}
I ain't working for these people again. These people are crazy. {to Olive} , So,what's your name?
OLIVE
Olive.
KIRBY
Olive. That's a nice name.

She smiles. He starts tapping away at the computer.

Olive glancesaway and freezes. Across the room is Miss Florida, sitting behind a table,signing photos for kids.

Olive is in awe.

OLIVE (cont'd)
Mom! It's Miss Florida! Look! It's really her!
SHERYL
You want to say hello?

Olive shakes her head,intimidated --it's like meeting a god.

SHERYL (cont' d)
Come on,she looks nice. We'll just say hi. {to Richard) You got this?

Richard nods -- I'll take care of it.

Sheryl drags Olive to the back of the line-- a half a dozen girls and their mothers. The GIRL in front ofthem turns and stares at Olive -- sizing up the competition. Olive smiles.

OLIVE
Hi ...!

The Girl quickly turns back around,not anything.

Olive takes this in stride. Frank and Dwayne approach, carrying the family'sluggage and a SundayNY Times.

FRANK
Hey. I'm getting aroom. We'll set up a base camp.
SHERYL
Okay,we'll come find you.

Frank and Dwayne walk off. Olive watchesthem go, then turns and looks at the other girls.

Again, they're all miniature Barbies with expensive clothes and hair. All of them are several inches shorter thanOlive, who is still dressed in her traveling clothes--denim cut- offs and black Converse high-tops.She stands out.

Two TWIN GIRLS are chasing each other around,giggling.

Olivewatches. Eventually, the Twins seeOlive watching them.

They whisper to each other and giggle.Olive gives them a friendly half-smile. Finally, the Twin Girls approachOlive.

TWIN GIRL ONE
Are you on a diet?
OLIVE
What?
TWIN GIRL ONE
Are you on a diet?
OLIVE
No ...!
TWIN GIRL TWO
Didn't think so!

They dissolve into gigglesand ru..Tl Olive is disturbed.

Sheryl is steamed but doesn'tknow what to do.

ACROSS THE ROOM

Kirby finishes upwith Richard having him sign a release.

KIRBY
And sign...
(Richard signs)
... And you're done!Here's your tickets; sash; tiara. * else? *
RICHARD
Yeah. Is there a funeral home around here?
98

INT. HOLIDAYINN ROOM - DAY

A quiet,empty room.

Frank and Dwayne enter,dropping the luggageon the floor.

Dwayne immediately walks toa bed in the corner of theroom and lies facing the wall. Frank surveys theroom with a jaundiced eye. He walks over, peers out the window.

Frank turns,looks at Dwayne lying on the bed. He walks over, settles intoa chair, pulls out hisNY Times.

FRANK
Hey,you know, facing the wall like that ... ?There's no way you gonna stop mefrom killing myself. No way! I could be out the window before you even turn around.

A beat. He opens up a SundayNew York Times.

FRANK (cont'd)
Sorry.

He looks at Dwayne for a few beats,then shakes his head and opens up the Book Review section.

INTHE BOOK REVIEW

is a full-page ad for UnderstandingProust by Larry Sugarman.

A banner reads, "The Surprise Bestsellerfrom America's # 1 Proust Scholar!'' There' saphoto of Larry Sugarman, in a beard and glasses, looking very serious.

Frank stares at the ad.

99

EXT. HOLIDAY INN BALCONY -DAY

Frank opens a sliding door and stepson to the tiny balcony.

He walks to the edge and looks over.

It's eight floors down to the parking lot.

Frank considers the drop.

Then he pulls out his wallet and takes out the photograph.

THE PHOTO shows Frank and theYoung Man from the convenience store at some chic party,wearing tuxes, smiling, and drinking Champagne.

Frank stares at the photo.

He looks up and surveys his surroundings-- a rather grim landscape of Burger Kings and Jiffy Lubes.

Quietly, he puts the photoaway and turns back to theroom.

100

EXT. PARKINGLOT - DAY

Richard approaches theVW bus with two funeralhome WORKERS in jumpsuits who affecta bored, seen-it-alldemeanor.

WORKER ONE,40s, is an old pro. WORKERTWO, 20s, is a fresh- faced rookie.A FUNERAL HOME VAN is parked in the background.

RICHARD
... We're driving five,six hours-- we thought he was napping. By the time we figured it out it wastoo late.
WORKER ONE
... Too late.So where's the body?

Richard turns; pops the trunk,averts his eyes, and opens it.

The Workers look in the trunk. Then look at Richard.

101

INT. LOBBY - DAY

Olive finally makes it to the front of the line.

MISS FLORIDA
.I H l. What's your name?

OLIVE

MISS FLORIDA
What's your talent,Olive?
OLIVE
I like dancing!
MISSFLORIDA
Dancing? Dancing was too hard for me! I'm a singer. You must be a good dancer!

I am! I'm ly good!

MISS FLORIDA
I bet you are! Well, thanks for stopping by,Olive. Best of luck!

But Olive is not quite ready to move on.

OLIVE (cont'd)
Ummm... Miss Florida?
MISS FLORIDA
You can callme Bonnie!
OLIVE
Bonnie ... ?Do you eat ice cream?
MISS FLORIDA
(perplexed)
Yes! I love ice cream! My favorite flavor is Chocolate Cherry Garcia. Although,technically, I think that's a frozen yogurt. Okay?
OLIVE
Okay,thank you, Bonnie! Bye!
MISSFLORIDA
Bye! {to the next girl) Hi, what's your name?

Sheryland Olive head off.

OLIVE
She eats ice cream, Mom!
SHERYL
I heard!
102

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

Richard signs an invoice. Worker Two closes the rear doors of the van, climbs in the driver's seat and starts the engine.

Richard hands the clipboard to workerOne. He hands Richard a cardboard box containing a wallet,glasses, a keychain, etc.

WORKER ONE {cont'd) The personal effects ...

RICHARD
Oh. Thank you .
WORKER ONE
You take care.
RICHARD
You too. Thanks.

Worker One gets in the van and slams the door.

The van pul out, drives to the edge of the parking lot and puts on its turn signal. Richard watches. The van pulls into the street and drives off,disappearing into traffic.

Richard is left alone, holding the box of Grandpa's stuff.

103

INT. HOLIDAY INN ROOM - DAY

Sheryl and Olive enter. Dwayne is stillon the bed facing the wall. Frank is slumped in a chair,staring at nothing.

SHERYL
Frank ... ?How're you guysdoing?

Sheryl silently points at Dwayne. Frank shrugs. Sheryl goes and starts opening luggage. She pulls out a bathing suit.

SHERYL
Okay, Olive. Let's put on your swimsuit. Here. You want to change in the bathroom?

Olive takes the swim-suit and goes into the bathroom.

Sheryl begins gathering upOlive's costumes.

SHERYL (cont'd)
Dwayne, I know you hate all of us and want to kill yourself But since we're here anyway,why dontt you guys go to the beach?
FRANK
Heyr there's an idea! The beach! Come on, we'll walk over,go surfing, ~aybe meet some chicks ... Whaddaya say?
104

INT. HOLIDAY INN BATHROOM- DAY

Olive finishes putting on her swim-suit. There's a full- length mirror on the back of the bathroom door.

Olive turns around and reaches for the door knob. She stops.

She steps back and looks at herself in the mirror.

She turns sideways. She sucks her stomach

time she's ever done

SHERYL (0•S•)
Frank,here's your tickets. That's you and Dwayne. She's going on last,now, because we were late ...
FRANK (O.S.)
We'll be there. Don't worry.

Olive turns back frontal. She lets herstomach hang out.

She 1 Snot happy with what she sees -- also the firsttime.

105

INT.HOLIDAY INN ROOM ~ DAY

Sherylfinishes gathering up Olive·,scostumes.

SHERYL
Olive, you ready? We gotta go!
OLIVE (0.S. )
Coming!
106

INT.HOLIDAY INN BATHROOM - DAY

Olive stares at herself in the mirror. She's making up her mind about something. (Winner or Loser?)

Then, very determined, she walks out of the bathroom.

107

INT. HOLIDAY INN ROOM - DAY

Olive comes out. Sheryl is there.

SHERYL
You ready? Let's go!
(to Frank)
Frank, do your best!

They exit. A beat. Dwayne sits up.

He's depressed, but no longer catatonic. He looks at Frank.

DWAYNE
Let 1 sget out of here.
108

INT. LOBBY - DAY

Richard -- holding the box ofGrandpa's stuff -- findsa bench and sitsdown. He seems shaken.

Around him, the pre-pageant hubbub is ata fever pitch.

He flips Grandpa's stuff -- keys, glasses/ gum.

He looks up and surveys the frenetic activity- mothers combing their daughters'hair, little girls practicing ballet moves, girls crying, girlslaughing and chasing each other.

Then, across the lobby,the elevator doors open andSheryl and Olive step off carrying garment bags and travel cases.

Richard gets up and interceptsthem. Sheryl sees him coming.

SHERYL
Hey. D'you take care of ... ?
RICHARD
Yeah, I did. Wait a sec. Olive, come here. Time fora pep talk.
SHERYL
Richard,we're late already... !
RICHARD
This is important! Olive, come here.

She goes to him. He hunches down, takes her hand,searching for words as if the very meaning of his life were at stake.

RICHARD (cont'd)
Olive... I know you and Grandpa worked on this together. I b1ow how much it meant to him. We drove nine hundred miles to get here. Our car broke down. We've been through a lot. But I think it'd all be worth it ... if you won tonight.
SHERYL
Richard! Jesus! Olive, come on!

She tries to pull Olive away but Richard holdson to her.

RICHARD
Okay, Olive? Okay?

Olive stares. She really wants to please him. She nods.

RICHARD (cont d}
Good girl! Go knock 'em dead!

Sheryl shakes her head and pullsOlive off towards the backstage area. Richard watchesthem go.

109

INT. BACKSTAGE - DAY

Sheryl and

Mom or a Groomer.

110

INT.DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Sherylfinds a tiny empty dressing room in back and hangsa garment bag ofOlive's costumes on the door.

SHERYL
Okay, we have about one minute. You want todo hair or make-up?

Olivethinks. It's like the fate of the free world is at stake. Finally:

OLIVE
Make-up ...!

Kirby pokes his head in the door.

KIRBY
Hey. I need your music!

Olive goes to her bag, digs in,hands him a disc.

OLIVE
Here.
KIRBY
This? Did you choose this?

OLI\lE My Grandpa did.

KIRBY
Your Grandpa? What track?
OLIVE
Twelve. Oh, one thing ... ?

She glances atSheryl, then goes and whispers in Kirby's ear. Kirby smiles.

KIRBY
Okay,you got it.
OLIVE
Thank you,Kirby!
KIRBY
I'll be looking for you.

He departs.

111

INT.AUDITORIUM - DAY

Richard finds his reserved seats - four seats on the aisle. He sits in the fourth seat and lays his jacket across the other three,saving them for Sheryl,Dwayne, and Frank.

The guy next to him isa grizzled BIKER sitting impassively with his arms folded. Richard tries to be friendly.

RICHARD
Hey.

The Biker glances at him and nods.Richard persists.

RICHARD (cont'd)
You got a kid in the show?

The Biker looks at him. He takes an earplug out of his ear.

BIKER
What?
RICHARD
You got a kid in the show?

The Biker stares at him.

BIKER
First time?

Richard nods -- Yeah! The Biker nods-- Figures. He puts the earplug back in his ear and resumes his impassive stare.

Richard is unnerved. TheLIGHTS DIM.

Onstage, an MC steps up toa microphone. A DRUMROLL.

MC Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the 14th annual Little Miss Sunshine pageant! Let's welcome the contestants!

MUSIC. BigAPPLAUSE.

Twenty-five little girls parade out on stage in swim-suits. Twenty of them are blond-- some bleached. They've been arranged from shortest to tallest.

Olive -- at leasttwo inches taller than everyone else is at the end of the line.

They end a across

MC (cont'd} We have twenty five contestants from all over theState of Florida. At the end of the evening,one of these girls will be crowned Little Miss Sunshine!

Richard, in the audience,claps enthusiastically. The Biker claps without enthusiasm.

112

EXT. BEACH -AFTERNOON

A glorious, sunny day. The ocean stretches out to infinity.

Dwayne and Frank,in swim trunks, are at a surfboard rental shop on the beach. The ocean's dead calm. Frank is handing money toa DUDE at the shop. Dwayne looks out at the water.

DWAYNE
There's no waves,Frank.

FRANK

We don't need waves. We ll just paddle out.

113

INT.AUDITORIUM - DAY

The MC is up on the stage. Another DRUMROLL.

MC ... Let's heara big round of applause for the evening wear!

MUSIC. Big APPLAUSE. Thesame girls -- in precocious evening-wear -- come out in thesame order and do the same little loop around the Olive's on the end again.

Richard, in the crowd,applauds -- a little less heartily.

114

EXT. ON THE WATER -DAY

Frank and Dwayne paddle straight out into the ocean. It's calm, but the shore isa long way away. Dwayne looks back.

DWAYNE
How far arewe?
FRANK
I dunno. Quarter mile?
DWAYNE
Youwan.nastop?

Frank shrugs. They down into the water.

FRANK
Hey. Think you can touch bottom?
DWAYNE
How far is it?
FRANK
Must be ten, twelve feet. Comeon1 Y'ready? On your mark, get set ...

They divedown into the water.

115

EXT. UNDERWATER - DAY

It's about fifteen feet to the white sand on the bottom.

Dwayne swims all the way down to the bottom.

Frank swims down more slowly. He finally makes it.

He comically mimes that he's drowning.

Then he and Dwayne come back up.

116

EXT. ON THE WATER - DAY

They resurface.

FRANK
Victory! Yes!

They rest on their surfboards,breathing hard.

Then, without waiting,Dwayne dives down in the water again.

117

EXT. UNDERWATER -DAY - MONTAGE

Shots of Frank and Dwayneswimming in the blue water with white sand and shafts of sunlight.

It's beautiful.

They do flips,twists, spins.

Dwayne swimsdown to the bottom again. He stays,looking up at the surface,Frank's legs, his empty board,the sunlight.

Then heswims back up to the surface.

118

INT.AUDITORIUM - DAY

TheMC up on stage. Another DRUMROLL.

MC And now! The moment you've been waiting for! The talent competition! Ladies and gentleman, please welcome Amber Tiffany Harper, who'll be singing atune from the Broadway show, ''Annie."Amber . . . !

A little girl walks out --very stagy -- and begins to sing:

AMBER
"The sun'11 come out ... tomorrow ..."

Richard sits in the audience. He's growing uneasy.

119

EXT. ON THE WATER - DAY

They sit on their boards and look out to sea.

FRANK
Man, it's beautiful out here.
(beat)
I don't know ifI believe in God, but the ocean -- it's always here for you: infinitely bigger than you are,and completely indifferent. So... My version of God.
DWAYNE
Frank ... ?
(Frank looksover} What'd it feel like when you cut your wrists?

Frank takesa breath.

FRANK
You know, Iwish I could tell you I felt bad. But I didn't. I was ... Outside the world,y'know? It was very peaceful.
(beat)
But, I'm feeling that way now,too, so ...

He shrugs. Dwayne nods. He looks out to sea.

DWAYNE
Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep until I was eighteen. Just skip all this crap -- high school and everything. Just skip it ...

He shakes his head.

FRANK
Y'ever hear of Marcel Proust?
DWAYNE
He's the guy you
FRANK
Yeah. French writer. loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent twenty years writing abook almost no one reads. But...he was also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he gets down to the end of his life,he looks back and he decides that all the years he suffered-- those were the best years of his life. Because they made him who he was. They forced him to think and grow,and to feel very deeply. And the years

he was happy? Total waste. Didn t learn anything.

Dwayne grins .

FRANK (cont'd)
So, if you sleep til you're eighteen...
(scoffs} ... Think of the suffering you'd miss! High school's your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that! Unless you go into academia, but that'sa different story.

They share a smile. Dwayne gazes out to sea. A beat.

DWAYNE
You know what ... ?
(Frank looks over)
Fuck beauty contests. It's like life is one fucking beauty contest after another these days. School, then college, then work. Fuck it. Fuck the Naval Academy. Fuck the MacArthur Foundation. If Iwant to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love and fuck the rest.

Frank stares at Dwayne, impressed. Dwayne glances at Frank~ who to play it cool.

FRANK
I'm glad you,re talking again, Dwayne. You're not nearly as stupid as you look.

Dwayne smiles. Frank looks around.

FRANK (cont 'd)
So now whatdo we do?
DWAYNE
You got me,Frank. Maybe we can stay out here forever.

A beat. They look at each other.

DWAYNE (cont' d)
We should go.

They begin paddling back to shore.

120

INT.AUDITORIUM - DAY

A tiny girl in aCOWGIRL outfit -- smiling like crazy -- taps her way through atap-dance routine. She'sfantastic.

Richard's smile is fading. He's really starting to worry.

121

EXT.BOARDWALK - DAY

Frank exitsa T-shirt shop and throws a shirt toDwayne.

FRANK
Ican't believe we found these. I hope they fit.

As they stride up the boardwalk,he strips off his shirt and puts on his new T-shirt. In big block letters, it says:

"LOSER"

Dwayne puts on his. It's the same. Frank looks at him.

FRANK (cont'd)
You're every mother's dream, Dwayne. Come on.

They head off.

122

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

Another TINY BLONDE GIRL sings while flouncing and prancing across the stage, blowing kisses twirling a parasol.

She the MC, batting

The audience -- charmed -- starts clapping along. As she finishes,the audience rises asone in a standing ovation.

Richard is the only one to remain seated. His face sinks as reality finally hits him-- there's no way Olive will win.

He gets up and departs.

123

INT. LOBBY - DAY

Frank and Dwayne enter and stride towards the doors of the auditorium. A pant-suitedGRANDMA is sneaking a smoke.

FRANK
Is it over?
GRANDMA
Not yet.

They open the door and walk intoa BLAST of syrupy singing.

The door shuts. The door reopens. Frank and Dwayne stagger out. They look at each other.

DWAYNE
I'm going backstage.
FRANK
Right See ya.

Dwayne heads off as Frank leans againsta wall,recovering.

124

INT.BACKSTAGE - DAY

Dwayne strides through the backstage, looking forSheryl and Olive. With his wet Mohawk and LOSER t-shirt,he stands out.

A PAGEANT OFFICER tries to stop him.

PAGEANT OFFICER
Excuse me? You authorized to be backstage?
DWAYNE
No.

He continues walking. Everywhere there are little blond girls crying, whining, or lolling about. All the mothers are over- dressed, over-coiffed,and over-stressed. It's depressing.

He stops, turns to a littlePRINCESS slouched on a sofa.

DWAYNE (cont 'd)
Where are the dressingrooms?
PRINCESS
Are you allowed to be here?
DWAYNE
Just tellme where the dressing rooms are.
PRINCESS
(yelling off-screen)
Security! Security!!! Help!!!

Dwayne rolls his eyes,moves on. *

125

INT.BACKSTAGE, DRESSING ROOMS - DAY

Richard wandersthrough the backstage. He spotsSheryl and Olive ina small dressing room in the back. He approaches.

Olive is sitting in amake-up chair, wearing gold hot pants and a red top. It's a slightly bizarre ensemble,given her girlish plumpness. Richard hesitates. Sherylsees him.

SHERYL
Hey. What're you doing?
RICHARD
I came to wishOlive good luck.
(toOlive)
How're you doin'?
OLIVE
(weak)
Good.
SHERYL
{sotto voce) Nervous.
RICHARD
You're gonna do great! I know it!
(toSheryl)
Can I talk to you a sec?

She nods. They wander a few steps out ofOlive's hearing range. Richard is agitated, troubled.

SHERYL
What's up?
RICHARD
(hesitates)
I don't want Olive to go on.
SHERYL
(can't believe it)
Are you kidding ...?!!!
RICHARD
We're not in Maryland anymore/ all right? She/s out of her league here.
SHERYL
So ... ?
RICHARD
Sheryl...! She's not gonna win. There's no fucking way.
SHERYL
It doesn't matter ...!
RICHARD
It ~matter!
SHERYL
It doesn't matter!
RICHARD
It does!!!

Suddenly, all Richard's emotions rush to the surface.

RICHARD.
I don't want her to lose. I know what that feels like. It's not good. We can't let that happen.

She stares at him. It's the firsttime he's admitted to any kind of vulnerability or weakness. She takes his hand.

SHERYL
Richard ...

They look at each other. This is the first honest moment we!ve seen betweenthem.

Unfortunately/ they are interrupted by Dwayne,who enters a determined look on his face. Sheryl sees himcoming.

SHERYL
Hey. How1re you feeling?!
DWAYNE
Better. Where's Olive?
SHERYL
In the dressing room. What's up?
DWAYNE
(hesitates, then sotto)
I don't want Olive doing this.
SHERYL
Ohr my God ...!
RICHARD
See?!
DWAYNE
Mom, look around! This place is fucked! I don't want these people judging Olive! Fuck them! *

RICHARD * Exactly! Fuck them! *

Dwayne glances at Richard,unnerved by his agreement. *

SHERYL * No, Dwayne. It's too late ... *

DWAYNE * It's not too late! You're the Mom! * You're supposed to protect her! *

Sheryl stares at him. A clipboard-wielding, head-set wearing * ASSISTANT passes by and calls out. *

ASSISTANT * Olive Harvey! Two minutes. *

He walks on. They watch him go. Dwayne and Sheryl face off. *

DWAYNE * She's not a beauty queen,Mom... *

126

INT. DRESSINGROOM - NIGHT

Olive standsnear the doorway,listening. Her face betrays nothing. Dwayne'sVOICE is faint but clear.

DWAYNE (O.S.)
...She's just not.
127

INT. BACKSTAGE -NIGHT

Sheryl and Dwayne stare at each other.

SHERYL
Listen to me.
(teary-eyed)
Olive iswho she is. is what 's to *
128

INT.DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Oliveturns~ walks mechanically back to her chair and sits.

SHERYL (0.S. )
...She'sworked hard, she's poured herself into it ... *
129

INT.BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

Sherylputs a hand on Dwayne's shoulder.

·sHERYL ... We can't take itawayfrom her. We just can't.

Dwayne closes his eyes, hangs his head.Sheryl hugs him.

SHERYL (cont'd)
I know you want to protect her, but... We gotta let Olivebe Olive. For better or worse ...

The clipboard-wieldingASSISTANT returns.

ASSISTANT
Olive Harvey? Are you the Harveys?

They nod and return -- en masse~~ to the dressing room~ Olive is seated in her chair,staring dumbly at~·the floor.

SHERYL
Olive? Time to go.

Olive doesn't move. Sheryl goes to her.

SHERYL
Olive... ? Honey,are you okay?

Olive won,t look at her. Sheryl glances at Richard.

ASSISTANT
Urn... We need to go.
SHERYL
Hang on.
(to Olive)
Honey... ?Olive, look at me.
(Olive looks)
You don't have todo this if you don't want. If you want to sit this one out,that's fine. We're anyway, okay?

A watch.

ASSISTANT
It's time.

Silence.

Olive stands up. Shewalks to the Assistant.

ASSISTANT (cont'd)
Okay. Let's go.

He takes her hand. They stride off.

Dwayne, Sheryl/ and Richard stand together and watch--mutually powerless -- as Oliveis lead off.

TRACKING BACKWARDSwith Olive. She's got her game face on a mask of fear and determination. Sheryl calls after her.

SHERYL
Good luck, honey!

Olive keeps walking,not looking back.

130

INT. AUDITORIUMLOBBY - DAY

Frank re-enters. Dwayne and Sheryl are coming the other way.

FRANK
Is she going on?
DWAYNE
She's going on.

They enter the auditorium together.

131

INT.AUDITORIUM ~ NIGHT

Yet another LITTLE BLOND GIRL is onstage,taking her bows to polite APPLAUSE. Richard leads Sheryl,Dwayne, and Frank to their seats. The MC comes on stage.

MC Very nice. Thank you. Okay,you've been a patient audience tonight ...

IN THE WINGS

Olive stands next to the edge of the curtain watching theMC.

MC (cont' d) ... We have one more contestant and then we'll be crowning the winner. So please welcome, from the Fort Myers district, Olive Harvey!

APPLAUSE.

WE FOLLOW Olive out onto the stage.

The LIGHTS are blinding.

The AUDIENCE is hidden in darkness.

There's a crowd MURMURbecause of her hot-pants get-up.

Dwayne, Frank, Sheryl/ and Richard applaud nervously.

Richard takes Sheryl'shand, squeezes it. They share a look.

Olive waves over theMC. He walks over to her and holds the mic down for her to speak. She takes a breath.

OLIVE
I'd like to dedicate this tomy Grandpa, who helped medo this routine.

MC That's sweet! Is he here? Where's your Grandpa rightnow?

OLIVE
He's in the trunk of our car.

The MC doesn;t know how to react.

MC Okay! Well! Take it away, Olive!

He retreats. She is alone on stage. Some 12YEAR OLD BOYS in the audience decide to be cruel. One of them "moos".

BOY ONE
Moooo!

GIGGLES and SHUSHES. Another boy chimes in.

BOY TWO
Arf! Arf! Arf!

More GIGGLES andSHUSHES. Miss Florida, at the judges table by the stage, looks around sternly. She feels bad forOlive.

Olive is confused. She doesn't understand these noises.

Dwayne hangs his head. Frank looks around.

FRANK
Where are those fuckers?! I'll kill 'em!

Then Olive finds whatshe's looking for:

Kirby, in the sound booth.

He nods at her. Shenods at him.

Then Olive turns around,her back to the audience.

Kirby turns a VOLUMEknob up to ''6". He hits "play''.

[The music clearly dependson the rights. For specificity, we'll use "Peach"by Prince.]

A BLAST of hard rock12 bar blues comes out of the speakers.

Everyone is surprised.

The music is hard-driving and nasty. It is completely different from the other pageant music we've heard so far.

For the first four measures,with Prince saying,"Here she comes," and "Shegot them gold hot-pants on again,,,Olive barely moves, rocking her shoulders and hips to the beat.

Dwayne, Frank, Sheryl,and Richard all glance at each other.

This is not what they expected.

No one knows what to make ofOlive rocking,her back turned.

However, when the first verse begins,Olive-turnsand strides up the stage --hands on hips, shoulders swinging -- with an absolute and spectacular physical self-confidence.

She rocks out,busting crazy moves this stage has never seen: shakes, shimmies,twirls, dips, undulations-- a melange of MTV rump-shakin',Solid Gold Dancers re-runs,and out-of-left-field inventions of herown. Other moves are clearly drawnfrom Grandpa's sixty-year career of strip-bar patronage.

She dances with a totalcommand -- an exuberant,even witty mastery of her body,the music, the moves,everything.

Most of all,she's doing for for her own sense of fun -- and the judges are instantly irrelevant.

The audience is stunned. No one moves. Mouths hang open.

Sheryl,Frank, and Dwayne gape. Richard is baffled.

RICHARD
What's she doing? What the hell is she

When the verse ends,Olive punctuates the 12-bar vamp with a series of violent pelvic thrusts.

Everyone is totally shocked. No one knows how to react.

SHERYL
Oh, my God ...!

Abruptly, Frank starts laughing in disbelief.

He stands and begins cheeringOlive, pumping his fistand grooving to the music.

Richard stares at Frank. Cautiously encouraged,he stands and cheers along with Frank-- tentative at first, then more and more unselfconsciously.

Sheryl and Dwayne join in,relieved and amazed.

Grandpa was right -- she's blowing them out of the water.

As the second verse ends and the guitar solo begins,Olive punctuates thevamp with another series of thrusts.

This is too much for the contest Officialfrom the registration desk,who sits near the stage at the table of contest JUDGES,including Miss Florida. Shelooks around and spots Sheryl,Richard, Frank, et al, standing and cheering.

The Officialgets up, walks up the aisle and yel at Sheryl.

OFFICIAL
What is your daughter doing?!

Sheryl - taken aback -- shrugs. Richard leans in.

RICHARD
She'skicking ass, what she's doing!

The others smile and nod. The Official is incensed. She turns and walks back to thesound booth. She yells at Kirby.

OFFICIAL
Turn it off!
KIRBY
What?
OFFICIAL
Turn the music off!!!
KIRBY
(fake deaf)
What ... ?!

He smi and cranks the musicup to "8". Mothers and children in the audience clap their hands over their ears.

The audience polarizes-- some (the GrizzledBiker;Miss Florida) stand and whi others sit dumbfound or frown disapprovingly, shaking their heads. Still others flee for the exitr heads down,hands over their ears.

The Official, furious,leaves Kirby and stalks down the aisle to the stage. Sherylwatches with growing worry.

SHERYL (cont, d)
What's she doing? Look....!

She shakes Richard,points.

The Official goes to theMC -- at the side of the stage -- waves to him. He bendsdown, listens. He nods.

The MC walks onstage and tries to stopOlive from dancing, grabbing her arms .

Olive doesn't know what he's doing,but she won't let him break her routine. She wiggles away and keeps dancing.

Richard -- outraged -- races to the front of the auditorium, leaps on the stage,jumps on the MC's back and rides him piggy-back -- into the wings. They crash to the ground.

Olive stops dancing,turns and looks at Richard.

Richard, grappling with theMC, waves her on.

RICHARD
Keep dancing,Honey! Just dance!

Olive turns and stares at the audience.

Dwayne, Frank andSheryl are gesturing~- "Keepgoing!"

Olive -- hearing themusic, seeing Sheryl,Frank, and DWayne cheering her-- starts to dance again, fluid and relaxed.

Richard disentangles himselffrom the pissed-offMC as STAGEHANDSstep in and pull them apart. Richard shrugs off their restraining hands,then turns to watchOlive dance.

The Contest Official steps forward and angrily confronts him.

OFFICIAL
Get your daughter off stage now!

Richard -- taken aback -- tates. She presses him.

OFFICIAL (cont'd}
If you don't stop her, she'll be disqualified!

Richard stares at her. Then he nods.

RICHARD
okay.

He turns and walks outon st.age.

Olive, seeing him, is confused. He steps up behind her.

Then Richard starts dancing.

They dance together:Olive in front~ Richard backing her up.

Richard looks at the Official with a defiant,fuck-you smile.

Sheryl/ Frank and Dwayne,watching, can't believe it.

DWAYNE
Holy shit ...!
FRANK
(to Sheryl)
You married that guy?

Sheryl shakes her head-- she can't believe it either.

Frank runs down the aisle,jumps on stage,and dances next to Richard -- a surprisingly competent set of butt-wagging, party-music moves. Dwayne follows Frank up on stage.

Sheryl pausesa moment and watches her family.

Richard waves toSheryl to join them.

A beat. Then Sheryl walks, then runs,and jumps up on stage. Richard helps her up,and they dance together.

Kirby cranks it to\'10". MUSIC is overpowering everything.

As the songs winds up, Sheryl lines up next toOlive for a unified series of thrusts.

As the final cymbal crashes, Olive pulls up her shirt to reveal "Peach" is written on her tummywith magic marker.

Audience MEMBERS respond with a standing ovation.

Frank and Dwayne strut around with their arms in theair, like victorious professional wrestlers.

Richard picks upOlive, swings her in theair* Sheryl walks over and hugs Richard andOlive.

FADE TO BLACK AND SILENCE

132

INT.OFFICE - NIGHT

Richard, Sheryl, Olive, Frank, andDwayne sit -- dazed -- in a drab office. They're all handcuffed together/except Olive.

Nothing's happening. Flourescent lightsHUM.

Frank and Dwayne are still wearing their"LOSER" T-shirts.

Boxes of pageant materials -- trophies,sashes, tiaras -- are stacked around them.

Sheryl quietly eyes Richard, slouched next to her,and smiles to herself. Her eyes drift toa nearby carton of tiaras.

A door OPENS. They all look over.

A COP appears, starts taking off their handcuffs.

COP
Okay. You're out.

RICHARD

We re free?

COP
They're dropping charges. On the condition that you don't enter your child in a beauty contest in the State of Florida ever again.
FRANK
(hesitates)
I think we can live with that.
133

INT. HOLIDAY INNLOBBY - NIGHT

Richard, Sheryl,Olive, Frank, and Dwayne step into the lobby.

It's deserted. Decorations and banners litter the floor.

They wander out,dazed, rubbing their wrists.

Sheryl approaches Richard/takes a tiara from behind her back, places iton his head. Richard accepts it wryly.

RICHARD
Great. Thank you very much.

She smiles. Richard turns toOlive with the tiara.

RICHARD
Here. I think this is for you.
OLIVE
Dad...!

She struggles to articulatesomething. Finally, she shrugs.

OLIVE {cont'd) I just like dancing.;.!

RICHARD
Well, you were great.
FRANK
You were beyond great.
DWAYNE
You were incredible.
OLIVE
(shy)
Thank you.

They all smile at her. Then Richard looks around.

RICHARD
Letts get thefuck out.of here ... !

CUT TO BLACK

SOUNDS of carson a distant highway.

RICHARD (V.0.}
...So it'stwo in the morning ...
134

EXT.REST STOP - DAY

Everyone is seated ata picnic table ata road-side rest stop. Cars WHIZZ by on a highway in the far background.

They've finished eating-- an empty bucket ofKFC and bottles of Diet Sprite litter the table. Richard is tellinga story.

Everyone is relaxed -- smiling and listening.

RICHARD
... He'sdown on hisknees in this dumpster behind the racetrack ... And it starts to rain.
(laughter)
It's wet ...It's hot ... *
(MORE)

..LV,:;:P. RICHARD (cont1d) around this 1 a this ticket thatI threw away -- and all a sudden he goes, "Richard,don't drop the light!" And I go, "Don'twhat?" (mimes holding light) And goes, "Dropthe fucking light!!!" So I go (mimes dropping light) Right in the water! He's like ... (mimes electricshock) Ahhhaahhhaahhhaahhhhhh!!! (appalled laughter) I run back,unplug the light, run to the dumpster-- he's lying there,rain is pouring down ... And he's got the ticket! This twelve hundred dollar trifecta ticket! And I'm like,"Dad! Dad, are you okay?" And he looks at me and all he says is: "Richard.. . Don't ever have children."

Everyone bursts out laughing.

RICHARD (cont'd)
Tome, he says that! To me!

The mirth tapers off. They glance at each other.

Frank holds up his bottle of DietSprite.

FRANK
Here 1 Sto Grandpa.
EVERYONE
Here's to Grandpa.

They clink and drink. Richard nods to a snack shack nearby.

RICHARD
So... ~no wants some ice-cream?

CUT TO BLACK

THE END