Cooper enters, awkward. The PRINCIPAL (male, fifties) turns
from the window.
PRINCIPAL
Little late, Coop.
(Indicates chair.)
Guess you had to stop off at the Asian fighter plane store.
COOPER
(sits, smiles)
Actually, sir, it’s a surveillance drone. With outstanding solar cells.
Cooper nods at Murph’s teacher, Ms Hanley, thirties,
attractive.
PRINCIPAL
We got Tom’s scores back. He’s going to make an excellent farmer. Congratulations.
The Principal slides a paper across the desk.
COOPER
(taken aback)
What about college?
PRINCIPAL
The university only takes a handful. They don’t have resources -
COOPER
I’m still paying taxes - where’s that go? There’s no more armies.
PRINCIPAL
Not to the university. Coop, you have to be realistic.
COOPER
You’re ruling him out for college now? He’s fifteen.
PRINCIPAL
Tom’s score simply isn’t high enough.
COOPER
What’re you? About a thirty-six-inch waist?
(Beat.)
Thirty-inch inseam?
PRINCIPAL
I’m not sure I see what -
COOPER
You’re telling me you need two numbers to measure your own ass, but just one to measure my son’s future?
Ms Hanley stifles a laugh. The Principal shoots her a look.
PRINCIPAL
You’re a well educated man, Coop. A trained pilot -
COOPER
And an engineer.
PRINCIPAL
Okay. Well, right now the world doesn’t need more engineers. We didn’t run out of planes, or television sets. We ran out of food.
Cooper leans back. He’s not going to win this one.
PRINCIPAL
The world needs farmers. Good farmers, like you. And Tom.
(Smiles benignly.)
We’re a caretaker generation. And things are getting better. Maybe your grandchildren -
COOPER
Are we done, sir?
PRINCIPAL
No. Ms Hanley is here to talk about Murph.
Cooper shifts his gaze to Ms Hanley.
MS HANLEY
Murph’s a bright kid. A wonderful kid, Mr Cooper. But she’s been having a little trouble ...
Ms Hanley places a textbook on the desk.
She brought this to school, to show
the other kids the section on the
lunar landings ...
COOPER
Yeah, it’s one of my old textbooks, she likes the pictures.
MS HANLEY
This is an old federal textbook. We’ve replaced them with corrected versions.
COOPER
Corrected?
MS HANLEY
Explaining how the Apollo missions were faked to bankrupt the Soviet Union.
COOPER
You don’t believe we went to the moon?
MS HANLEY
(tolerant smile)
I believe it was a brilliant piece of propaganda. The Soviets bankrupted themselves pouring resources into rockets and other useless machines.
COOPER
’Useless machines’?
MS HANLEY
Yes, Mr Cooper. And if we don’t want a repeat of the wastefulness and excess of the twentieth century, our children need to learn about this planet, not tales of leaving it.
Cooper considers this in silence. Looks at Ms Hanley.
COOPER
One of those useless machines they used to make was called an MRI. And if we had any of them left, the doctors might have been able to find the cyst in my wife’s brain before she died, rather than afterwards. Then she could be sitting here listening to this, which’d be good, cos she was always the calmer one ...
Ms Hanley looks at Cooper, embarrassed. Then -
MS HANLEY
I’m sorry about your wife, Mr Cooper. But Murph got into a fist fight with several of her classmates over this Apollo nonsense and we thought it best to
(MORE)
MS HANLEY (cont’d)
bring you in and see what ideas you might have for dealing with her behavior on the home front.
COOPER
Sure. Well, there’s a ball game tomorrow night, and Murph’s going through a bit of a baseball phase. There’ll be candy and soda ...
Ms Hanley looks at him, expectant.
COOPER
I think I’ll take her to that.
Ms Hanley turns to the Principal, not happy.