"INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS" (2009)

STATS166pages19scenes16,151words16%dialogue52characters

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  • dialogue2,65516%
  • action13,08981%
  • other4072.5%

Scenes

location
  • INT 0
  • EXT 1
  • UNKNOWN 18
time
  • UNKNOWN 19
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EXT TRUCK (MOVING)—NIGHT

Inglourious Basterds

ONCE UPON A TIME IN . . . NAZI-OCCUPIED FRANCE

The modest dairy farm in the countryside of Nancy, France (what the French call cow country).

We read a SUBTITLE in the sky above the farmhouse:

This SUBTITLE disappears and is replaced by another one:

“1941 One year into the German occupation of France”

The farm consists of a house, a small barn, and twelve cows spread about.

The owner of the property, a bull of a man, FRENCH FARMER, brings an ax up and down on a tree stump, blemishing his property. However, simply by sight, you’d never know if he’s been beating at this stump for the last year or just started today.

JULIE’S POV A Nazi town car convertible, with two little Nazi flags attached to the hood, a NAZI SOLDIER behind the wheel, a NAZI OFFICER alone in the backseat, following TWO OTHER NAZI SOLDIERS on motorcycles, coming up over the hill on the country road leading to their farm.

The French farmer sinks his ax in the stump, looks over his shoulder, and sees the Germans approaching.

The FARMER’S WIFE, CHARLOTTE, comes to the doorway of their home, followed by her TWO OTHER TEENAGE DAUGHTERS, and sees the Germans approaching.

The farmer yells to his family in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

The young lady runs to the water pump by the house. She picks up a basin and begins pumping. After a few pumps, water comes out, splashing into the basin.

The French farmer sits down on the stump he was previously chopping away at, pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, wipes sweat from his face, and waits for the Nazi convoy to arrive. After living for a year with the sword of Damocles suspended over his head, this may very well be the end.

Julie finishes filling the water basin and places it on the windowsill.

Julie walks inside the farmhouse and closes the door behind her.

As her father stands up from the stump and moves over to the windowsill with the water basin . . .

The farmer SPLASHES water from the basin on his face and down his front. He takes a towel off a nail and wipes the excess water from his face and chest, as he watches the two motorcycles, the one automobile, and the four representatives of the National Socialist Party come to a halt on his property.

We don’t move into them but keep observing them from a distance, like the farmer.

The TWO NAZI MOTORCYCLISTS are off their bikes and standing at attention next to them.

The NAZI DRIVER has walked around the automobile and opened the door for his superior.

The NAZI OFFICER says to the driver in UNSUBTITLED GERMAN:

The Nazi officer climbs out of the backseat of the vehicle, carrying in his left hand a black leather attaché case.

The S.S. colonel yells to the farmer in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

The S.S. colonel crosses the distance between them with long strides and says, in French, with a smile on his face:

COL. HANS LANDA offers the French farmer, PERRIER LAPADITE, his hand. The Frenchman takes the German hand in his and shakes it.

INT—LAPADITE FARMHOUSE—DAY

The door to the farmhouse swings open, and the farmer gestures for the S.S. colonel to enter. Removing his gray S.S. cap, the German steps inside the Frenchman’s home.

Col. Landa is immediately greeted with the sight of the farmer’s wife and three pretty daughters standing together in the kitchen, smiling in his direction.

The farmer enters behind him, closing the door.

The S.S. colonel clicks his heels together and takes the hand of the French farmer’s wife . . .

He kisses her hand, then continues without letting go of his hostess’s hand . . .

FARMER’S WIFE Don’t be ridiculous, Herr Colonel.

While still holding the French woman’s hand and looking into her eyes, the S.S. colonel says:

His eyes leave the mother and move to the three daughters.

The farmer offers the S.S. colonel a seat at the family’s wooden dinner table. The Nazi officer accepts the French farmer’s offer and lowers himself into the chair, placing his gray S.S. cap on the table and keeping his black attaché case on the floor by his feet.

The farmer (perfect host) turns to his wife and says:

The mother of three takes a carafe of milk out of the icebox and pours a tall glass of the fresh white liquid for the colonel.

The S.S. colonel takes a long drink from the glass, then puts it down LOUDLY on the wooden table.

The French farmer sits at his wooden dinner table across from the Nazi.

The women remain standing.

Col. Landa leans forward and says to the farmer in a low tone of confidentiality:

The farmer’s wife follows her husband’s orders and gathers her daughters, taking them outside, closing the door behind them.

The two men are alone at the farmer’s dinner table, in the farmer’s humble home.

They now speak ENGLISH:

The colonel drinks more milk.

The S.S. colonel smiles.

Taking his black leather attaché case and placing it on the table, he takes out a folder from inside. He also extracts an expensive black fountain pen from his uniform’s front pocket. Opening the folder and referring to it:

Looking up from his papers:

The farmer gets up from the table, goes to a shelf over the fireplace, and removes from it a WOODEN BOX that contains all the fixings to his pipe. He sits back down at the table with his Nazi guest.

As the farmer loads the bowl of his pipe with tobacco, sets a match to it, and begins slowly puffing, making it red hot, the S.S. colonel studies the papers in front of him.

The farmer looks at Landa.

The farmer puffs thoroughly on his pipe.

As the farmer answers this question, the CAMERA LOWERS behind his chair, to the floor, past the floor, to a small area underneath the floorboards, revealing:

The S.S. colonel takes in this answer, seems to accept it, then moves to the next question.

The mother and her three daughters finish taking the laundry off the clothesline.

They can’t hear anything going on inside.

The three Nazi soldiers watch the three daughters.

BACK TO LANDA AND PERRIER

He begins gathering up his papers and putting them back into his attaché case.

The farmer, cool as a cucumber, puffs on his pipe.

The farmer stands up, goes over to the icebox, and takes out the carafe of milk. As he walks over and fills the Nazi colonel’s glass, the German officer talks.

As “the Jew Hunter” enjoys his fresh milk, he continues to theorize with the French farmer.

(changing tone) May I smoke my pipe as well?

The farmer’s cool facade is little by little eroding.

The Jew Hunter removes both a pipe and a bag of tobacco fixings. The pipe, strangely enough, is a calabash, made from an S-shaped gourd with a yellow skin and made famous by Sherlock Holmes.

As the Nazi colonel busies himself with his smoking, he continues to hold court at the Frenchman’s table.

The Colonel lets the last statement stand.

The farmer, pipe in mouth, stares across the table at his German opponent.

The farmer points out the areas on the floor where the Dreyfuses are underneath.

Col. Landa stands up from the table and, switching to FRENCH, says, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

The Nazi officer opens the front door and silently motions for his men to approach the house.

The soldiers enter the doorway. Col. Landa silently points out the area of the floor the Jews are hiding under.

He motions to the soldiers with his index finger.

They TEAR UP the wooden floor with MACHINE-GUN FIRE.

The little farmhouse is filled with SMOKE, DUST, SPLINTERS, SCREAMS, BULLET CASINGS, and even a little BLOOD.

With a hand motion from the colonel, the soldiers cut off their gunfire. The colonel keeps his finger in the air to indicate silence.

CU SHOSANNA’S FACE same as an animal being chased by a predator: FLIGHT—PANIC—FEAR.

SHOSANNA’S POV the safety of trees, getting closer.

The S.S. colonel closes the window.

The Nazi town car DRIVES away.

EXT—NAZI TOWN CAR (MOVING)—DAY

Col. Hans Landa sits in the backseat of the convertible that’s speeding away from the French farmhouse.

Landa speaks to his driver in GERMAN, SUBTITLE IN ENGLISH:

The S.S. colonel chuckles at his little funny.

A bunch of SOLDIERS are lined up at attention.

LIEUTENANT ALDO RAINE, a hillbilly from the mountains of Tennessee, walks down the line. He recruits the men the Germans will later call “The Basterds.” Lt. Aldo has one defining physical characteristic, a ROPE BURN around his neck—as if, once upon a time, he survived a LYNCHING. The scar will never once be mentioned.

He stops pacing and looks at everybody.

EXT—MOUNTAIN TOP CHALET—DAY

A huge chalet on a misty mountaintop in Bavaria.

“BAVARIA BERCHTESGADEN (HITLER’S PRIVATE LAIR)”

INT—BERCHTESGADEN—DAY

In a huge room, ADOLF HITLER pounds on a big table with his fist as he rants at TWO GERMAN GENERALS.

They speak GERMAN SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

Hitler pounds furiously on the desk with his fist.

The Führer sits down at the table to compose himself and wipe his greasy black hair out of his face.

He hits the button on the intercom on his desk.

KLIEST’S VOICE comes out of the intercom:

KLIEST’S VOICE (OS) Yes, mein Führer.

KLIEST’S VOICE (OS) Yes, mein Führer. Do you still wish to see Private Butz?

KLEIST’S VOICE (OS) He’s the soldier you wanted to see personally. His squad was ambushed by Lt. Raine’s Jews. He was its only survivor.

EXT—FRENCH WOODS—DAY

CU FACE OF DEAD GERMAN SOLDIER His head lies on the ground, horizontal. A HAND reaches into the FRAME, KNOCKS aside the dead German patriot’s helmet, and grabs a handful of the cadaver’s blond hair. A LARGE KNIFE ENTERS THE FRAME and begins SLICING ALONG THE HAIRLINE.

This process is called SCALPING.

After SLICING is complete, the SCALP easily peels off, like a banana skin.

GERMAN PRISONERS PVT. BUTZ AND SGT. RACHTMAN on their knees, hand behind their heads.

Pvt. Butz NARRATES the scene in GERMAN SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

WE SEE QUICK CUTS OF rings, weapons, an iron cross, and somebody digging out a gold tooth with a knife, being removed from dead Germans.

True that. The sight of the dead soldiers with bare feet does rob the tableau of a certain dignity that is normally felt in battlefield shots.

He fights his frustration, then . . .

Sgt. Rachtman is a little slow to respond. So Hirschberg grabs him by the hair, YANKS him to his feet, and KICKS him in the ass, sending him on his way.

Most of the Basterds sit in a circle, Indian style, with Aldo in the middle.

As Sgt. Rachtman walks toward this circle of Basterds, An OFFSCREEN LITERARY NARRATOR (not Pvt. Butz) speaks over the SOUNDTRACK in ENGLISH:

The captured German sergeant enters the circle of Basterds, stands straight before the sitting southern lieutenant, and salutes his captor.

Aldo returns the salute, looking at up him.

The German sergeant does.

Aldo points at one of the Basterds in the circle, CPL. WILHELM WICKI.

Then Aldo points to another Basterd. A big, scary-looking Basterd, in a German sergeant’s uniform, named SGT. HUGO STIGLITZ.

The two German sergeants look at each other.

The Basterds laugh, and a couple pat Hugo on the back.

The NARRATOR comes back on the SOUNDTRACK.

WE SEE A PHOTO OF HUGO on the front page of the Nazi version of Stars and Stripes (the military newspaper).

WE SEE THE MILITARY PHOTOS OF ALL THIRTEEN GESTAPO OFFICERS.

Hugo in chains, being put in a lone troop truck, part of a prison convoy, en route to Berlin.

EXT—FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE—DAY

The Basterds AMBUSH the prison convoy, killing everybody.

They walk to the back of the troop truck. Inside, Hugo, in chains, stares back at them.

Hugo nods his head, yes.

BACK TO THE BASTERD CIRCLE.

The circle of Basterds giggle.

Aldo takes out a map of the area and lays it out in front of his prisoner.

Werner sits, head held high, back straight, chin up, every inch the German hero facing death.

Aldo jerks his thumb behind him.

WE RACK-FOCUS to one of the Basterds not in the circle. He’s wearing a wife beater and power-hitting stones with a baseball bat.

Werner’s eyes go to the ballplayer.

Instead of getting mad, the Basterds burst out LAUGHING.

Also says to Werner, with a giggle in his voice:

INT—BARBER SHOP (BOSTON)—DAY

Donny, cutting heads, in his pop’s barber shop, in Boston.

declaring open season on Jews in Europe, and I’m suppose to fly to the fuckin’ Philippines and fight a bunch of fuckin’ Japs—not me, pal. If we just go in this against the Japs, the whole U.S. of fuckin A can go take a running jump at the moon.

INT—SPORTING GOODS STORE—DAY

MR. GOOROWITZ’S sporting goods shop in Donny’s Jewish Boston neighborhood. Donny walks in.

The store proprietor extends his hand to the young man.

The store owner leads him to a basket with eight bats in it. Donny starts going through them without saying anything.

Mr. Goorowitz watches.

Donny, concentrating on the bats, not looking up:

Donny’s “no” silences the gabby Goorowitz. He seems to settle on one, feeling its weight in his hands.

The proprietor answers the phone and gets into a conversation with his OFFSCREEN mother.

Donny walks outside. WE STAY IN STORE but can see him clearly through the store’s big picture window.

However, Mr. Goorowitz instinctively turns his back to Donny to speak with his mother.

Donny starts swinging the bat. It’s pretty obvious he’s pantomiming beating somebody to death with it. Then he starts yelling:

Mr. Goorowitz sees none of this as he speaks to his mother. He hangs up the phone just as Donny walks back into the store. The store owner turns to the store customer.

INT—HALLWAY APARTMENT BUILDING—DAY

Donny, dressed nice, in an apartment building in his Jewish Boston neighbourhood. He knocks on a door.

A VERY OLD JEWISH WOMAN opens the door, only a little, peering out at the young man.

She thinks for a beat, then holds the door open for the young man.

INT—MRS. HIMMELSTEIN’S APARTMENT—DAY

Donny sits on an overstuffed sofa, holding a tea cup and saucer in his hand. Mrs. Himmelstein sits on an overstuffed chair, holding her tea, looking across at her visitor.

Donny chuckles at her little joke. The old woman remains stone. She wasn’t joking. He places his saucer on the coffee table and begins:

He holds up his bat.

She takes another sip of tea.

Donny picks up his cup and takes a sip.

As WE CUT BACK and FORTH BETWEEN DONNY WALKING and WERNER WAITING, WE ALSO CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN DONNY and MRS. HIMMELSTEIN . . .

She signs the BAT: “MADELEINE.”

Donny steps up to the plate, looking down at the Nazi: He sees the Iron Cross hanging from the German Sgt’s right pocket. The Jew taps the German’s medal with the end of his bat.

Donny gives him a “oh yeah, we’ll see about that,” look.

The Bear Jew raises the bat up high over his shoulder and brings it down hard against the side of Rachtman’s head.

Donny BEATS Werner TO DEATH WITH THE BAT, to the cheers of the Basterds.

Aldo points a finger at Butzs and crooks it toward him.

A crying, visibly shaken Butz sits down in front of Aldo.

His arm shoots out like a rocket and points out the positions.

WE SEE Pvt. Butz in the Führer’s room for the first time. He wears a Nazi cap, which is unusual in the presence of the Führer, but he seems okay with it.

FROM HERE ON WE GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ALDO AND HITLER.

The young German is telling Aldo what he thinks Aldo wants to hear. But the last answer didn’t go down as well as he thought it would, as is evident by the frown on Aldo’s face.

Aldo removes a LARGE KNIFE from a sheath on his belt.

INT—CINEMA AUDITORIUM—NIGHT

We’re in the auditorium of a cinema in Paris. However, the CAMERA is pointed in the direction of the audience, not the screen. We start CLOSE on the projector beam emanating from the little glass window in the back of the theater.

The CAMERA continues to DOLLY back, making the shot wider and wider, bringing in more and more the German-occupied citizens of Paris, who stare at the OFFSCREEN silver screen in the dark.

We can hear the OFFSCREEN SOUNDTRACK of a Goebbels-produced German omm-pa-pa musical movie being projected.

The shot continues to pull farther and farther back, and the German dialogue continues to fill the auditorium . . .

“SHOSANNA DREYFUS TWO WEEKS AFTER THE MASSACRE OF SHOSANNA’S FAMILY”

We hear the sound of the German musical’s climax.

The lights go up in the auditorium.

Shosanna, dressed in a NURSE’S UNIFORM she swiped from somewhere, remains seated, as the rest of the PATRONS gather their coats and file out.

EXT—LITTLE CINEMA (PARIS)—NIGHT

Patrons exit under the cinema marquee, as someone from inside SHUTS OFF the marquee’s lights.

The MARQUEE READS in French:

“GERMAN NIGHT BRIDGET VON HAMMERSMARK in MADCAP IN MEXICO.”

EXT—PROJECTION BOOTH (LITTLE CINEMA)

A French black man, who we will learn later is named MARCEL, is the cinema’s projectionist. We see him for a moment, taking the film reels off the projector and placing them on rewinds.

The owner of the cinema, an attractive-looking French woman, who we will later know as MADAME MIMIEUX, appears in one of the cinema’s opera-box balconies.

Looking down from her porch at the young girl, sitting in the empty cinema.

The DIALOGUE will be spoken in FRENCH and SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH.

Using her hands to pantomime the rotating film reels on a projector, she says:

Which shows a lovely PENCIL SKETCH of the CITY OF PARIS, complete with Eiffel Tower.

The CAMERA finds the THREE-YEARS-OLDER SHOSANNA working as the PROJECTIONIST. It would appear that Shosanna passed Madame Mimieux’s exceptional test.

A lyrical, Morricone-like tune PLAYS on the SOUNDTRACK. This will be “Shosanna’s Theme.”

A little bell begins RINGING on one of the projectors, alerting Shosanna its time for a REEL CHANGE.

Shosanna stands at the projector, watching the old German film she’s projecting, waiting for the FIRST REEL CHANGE MARK . . .

As the FILM REEL on the FIRST PROJECTOR rolls out, Shosanna stands ready, waiting by the SECOND PROJECTOR . . .

As “Shosanna’s Theme” plays on the soundtrack, we watch, via MONTAGE, her go through her daily chores: carry heavy film cans up the stairs, empty the rat traps, etc, etc. . . .

The MARQUEE READS in French:

“GERMAN NIGHT LENI RIEFENSTAHL in PABST’S WHITE HELL OF PITZ PALU”

Shosanna emerges from the cinema carrying two buckets of LETTERS (for the marquee) and a tall ladder. Her chore here, obviously, is to change the show on the marquee.

The LITERARY NARRATOR comes on the soundtrack in ENGLISH:

Shosanna, by herself, perched up high on the ladder, changing the letters on the marquee.

A YOUNG GERMAN SOLDIER (about the same age as Shosanna) walks out of the cinema. He sees the ladder with the young French girl on top and walks over.

They speak FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

Shosanna looks down, seeing the young German soldier smiling up at her from below.

Shosanna continues working, not adding to the conversation.

He hands the French damsel the letters spelling MAX.

She busies herself with the marquee letters . . .

Due to his uniform and Shosanna’s situation, his efforts at trying to make small talk strike the young Jewess in hiding as a Gestapo interrogation.

Shosanna makes no reply back.

She climbs down from the ladder and faces the German private.

She turns to go back inside.

She opens the door to go inside.

She hands him her excellently forged papers.

That’s obviously not what he meant, but he takes them anyway to read her name.

She gives no response.

He gives her a little salute and walks into the black of a curfew- imposed night.

She looks after him. She didn’t show it, but he kind of got to her. After all, for any true cinema lover, it’s hard to hate anybody who, CINEMA MON AMOUR.

EXT—ROOFTOP CINEMA—NIGHT

Shosanna stands on the roof her her cinema, late at night, lighting up a cigarette. As she takes her first big drag, she remembers a voice.

Shosanna is shocked by this statement.

Marcel comes onto the roof.

Marcel goes back inside. Shosanna smokes.

INT—FRENCH BISTRO—AFTERNOON

Shosanna sits in the back of a French bistro, reading a book, “The Saint in New York,” by Leslie Charteris, drinking wine when the young German soldier from the other day, FREDRICK ZOLLER, walks in. He gets a beer, then notices the French girl sitting in the back. He smiles and heads over to her. “Oh no, not this guy again,” she thinks.

Again they speak in FRENCH SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

Just then TWO OTHER GERMAN SOLDIERS come over, obviously very impressed with Fredrick. They make a fuss over him in UNSUBTITLED GERMAN, which neither Shosanna or the non-German- speaking members of the movie’s audience can understand. He signs autographs for them and shakes their hands, and they go on their way.

Shosanna’s eyes narrow.

He leans in across the table. She leans in too, and he says:

She leans back, annoyed.

Fredrick laughs at that line.

This catches young Shosanna off guard.

TWO MORE GERMAN SOLDIERS and their TWO FRENCH DATES approach the table. They ask for Fredrick’s autograph, and he signs it for them. One of the French girls says, in FRENCH, how exciting it is to meet a real live German war hero. Shosanna hears it. They leave. So that’s it, she thinks.

He takes a sip of beer.

You bet your sweet ass that got her attention.

Shosanna isn’t falling for the young German by any stretch. However, his exploits, as well as his charming manner, can’t help but impress. But his referring to Goebbels as “Joseph,” like they’re friends, is all she needs to get on the right side of things. This young man is trouble with a capital T, and she needs to stay far fucking away from him.

She abruptly rises and says:

And with that, she disappears, leaving the perplexed private alone.

EXT—CINEMA MARQUEE—DAY

Shosanna and Marcel are changing the letters on the marquee.

Marcel excuses himself to visit the toilet.

Shosanna is alone outside the little cinema, perched up on her ladder.

A GERMAN MAJOR in a black Gestapo uniform steps out of the back of the sedan.

The DRIVER, a German private, steps out as well.

Yelling to the young girl up high on the ladder:

Both GERMAN and FRENCH will be SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH.

Telling his driver in German to ask her in French:

In French the driver asks Shosanna:

She climbs down the ladder.

The driver opens the back door of the sedan, indicating for her to get in.

Then in her best imitation of Mademoiselle Mimeux’s arrogant manner.

The driver begins to translate when the Gestapo major holds up his hand, telling him not to bother. The major looks at the young French girl and tells her in German:

No translation necessary. She climbs into the back of the car, followed by the Germans. The sedan takes off.

INT—SEDAN (MOVING)—DAY

The Nazi sedan drives through the early-afternoon Paris streets.

WE HOLD SHOSANNA IN TIGHT CU the whole ride, never showing her Nazi oppressor sitting beside her. We just hold on her face trying not to reveal anything.

The car door opens, and the driver offers Shosanna his hand.

EXT/INT—MAXIM’S (FAMOUS PARIS CAFÉ)—DAY

She steps out of the car and is led into a Paris café by the Gestapo officer. It takes the young Jewess a moment or two before she realizes she’s not being led to a Gestapo interrogation room, a railroad car, or a concentration camp, but to lunch.

The best table at Maxim’s. Three people, and two dogs, sit at it: Germany’s minister of propaganda and the number-two man in Hitler’s Third Reich, JOSEPH GOEBBELS; his female French translator (and mistress), FRANCESCA MONDINO; and young Private Zoller. TWO BLACK FRENCH POODLES belonging to Mademoiselle Mondino sit together in another chair at the table.

We join the in mid-conversation:

They all speak GERMAN, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

Shosanna is led through the French eatery by the Gestapo major. Private Zoller sees her and stands up, excuses himself, and greets her before she reaches the table.

Fredrick says in French, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

Private Zoller turns in his direction, takes Shosanna by the arm, and leads her to him.

Joseph Goebbels, remaining seated, looks up at the young French girl, scrutinizing her as he spoons crème brûlée into his mouth.

The excited Fredrick introduces Shosanna to the propaganda minister formally.

Goebbels offers up his long, spiderlike fingers for Shosanna to shake. She does.

He looks to Francesca to translate, but she’s just taken a big bite of tiramisu.

Frederick jumps in . . .

NARRATOR’S VOICE comes on soundtrack:

Francesca, dressed as a French peasant girl, with a YOUNG GERMAN (MOVIE) SOLDIER.

She speaks in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

A SUBTITLE APPEARS below naming the film’s title:

“SENTIMENTAL COMBAT” (1943)

WE SEE JUST A SUPER-QUICK SHOT OF Goebbels FUCKING Francesca DOGGY- STYLE.

The Gestapo officer steps up and says to Fredrick in German:

The Gestapo officer pulls out a chair for the young lady to sit down. Shosanna takes the hot seat. Seated to her right is Pvt. Zoller. To her left are the two curly, pampered poodles. Major Hellstrom pours Shosanna a glass of red wine from a small carafe on the table.

Goebbels looks across the table at her.

Francesca interprets Goebbels’s German for Shosanna.

Francesca interprets . . .

Francesca interprets . . .

Francesca interprets . . .

Francesca interprets . . .

Francesca interprets . . .

Private Zoller interrupts—

Francesca tells Shosanna in French:

Goebbels speaks German to Shosanna:

Fredrick jumps in . . .

Goebbels listens silently, then after a bit of a pause:

Francesca interprets . . .

Francesca asks . . .

Francesca interprets . . .

Francesca interprets . . .

Fredrick jumps in . . .

He chuckles, but alone.

Zoller, thinking fast, says:

As Francesca interprets this for Shosanna . . .

the empty chair next to the young Jewish girl is suddenly filled with the bottom half of a gray S.S. officer uniform.

The S.S. officer sits down, and it’s our old friend from the first scene, COL. HANS LANDA.

The S.S. OFFICER who murered her family takes her hand and kisses it, saying in perfect French:

Francesca’s memory is jogged.

She repeats it by whispering it in Goebbels’s ear.

Big, hearty laugh around the table.

Then the Reich minister’s companion, Mademoiselle Mondino, interrupts:

Everybody begins to stand up from the table . . .

Francesca gathers the stupid dogs . . .

As Col. Landa stands, he says:

Mademoiselle Mimieux’s eyes go to Private Zoller, who responds.

Laughter all around. The Reich minister and his Axis entourage make their way to front of the café, with the two dumb dogs on a leash, leading the way.

Everybody says their farewells.

Col. Landa offers the young Jew in hiding a seat at a small table in the outside patio area of Maxim’s.

The fluency and poetic proficiency of the S.S. Jew hunter’s French reveals to the audience that his feigning clumsiness at French with Monsieur LaPadite in the film’s first scene was simply an interrogation technique.

They speak FRENCH SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

She’s about to answer when a WAITER approaches.

Considering that Shosanna grew up on a dairy farm, and the last time she was on a dairy farm her strudel companion murdered her entire family, his ordering her milk is, to say the least . . . disconcerting.

The key to Col. Landa’s power and/or charm, depending on the side one’s on, lies in his ability to convince you he’s privy to your secrets.

The strudel arrives.

The colonel takes one look at it and says to the waiter:

The waiter returns, applying crème fraîche to the two strudels.

The S.S. colonel looks across the table at his companion. Picking up his fork, he says:

Shosanna takes a whipped-creamy bite of strudel. Landa follows her lead.

Shosanna, mouth full of strudel, indicates she approves.

Col. Landa removes a little black book from his pocket.

He records the names in his little book.

As if she has any say.

Col. Landa takes another bite of strudel, and Shosanna follows suit.

Landa takes out a handsome-looking cigarette case, with an S.S. LOGO on it. Removing one of the fags, he lights it up with a fancy S.S. gold lighter. He offers one to Shosanna.

She takes one but makes no move to light it.

He inhales deeply and says:

Col. Landa stands up, throws some French francs on the table, puts on his gray S.S. cap, touches his finger to his visor, saluting Shosanna, and says:

And with that he’s gone.

Shosanna breaths a sigh of relief.

The CAMERA begins to slowly lower from a MEDIUM CU to her feet and ankles and the floor. We see her shoes are in a puddle of urine. During her conversation and strudel with the man who exterminated her entire family, Shosanna pissed herself. She drops the German cigarette into the piss puddle by her feet.

INT—CINEMA AUDITORIUM—NIGHT

The SILVER SCREEN Onscreen is the German screwball comedy “LUCKY KIDS.”

We hear OFFSCREEN laughter at the onscreen Aryan antics.

The LITERARY NARRATOR comes on the soundtrack.

We see her face get slightly distracted behind the eyes.

She chuckles at THAT thought, though it looks like she’s chuckling at the German comedy.

The idea flashes on her face. Then Shosanna bursts out laughing.

Zoller looks over at her. Happy. She’s enjoying the movie.

The Nazi rouges’ gallery, and Shosanna, applaud the film.

Goebbels accepts congratulations, as they stand and begin to file out into the lobby.

Goebbels speaks GERMAN, and Francesca translates:

The chandelier being removed from the ceiling of Versailles.

Greek nude statues being hand-trucked out of the Louvre.

A truck driving through the French countryside with the enormous crystal chandelier in the back.

The lobby of Shosanna’s cinema, pimped out in Nazi iconography. WORKERS buzz around decorating. The Greek statues are moved into place.

We see workers trying with incredible difficulty to hoist the huge, heavy, and twinkingly fragile chandelier in Shosanna’s auditorium, which now resembles something out of one of Tinto Brass’s Italian B-movie ripoffs of Visconti’s “The Damned.”

BACK TO SHOSANNA AND THE NAZIS in the lobby, post screening of “Lucky Kids.” She’s soundlessly escorting them to the door as they make their good-byes.

We see Pvt. Zoller hanging back, so he can say good-bye.

She closes the door on him, watching the Nazis walk into Paris night. Their shadows for a moment on the wall, look like grotesque Nazi caricatures.

Marcel sits at the top of the staircase of the lobby, looking down at Shosanna.

They speak in FRENCH SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

She slowly walks up the stairs to Marcel. She makes him part his legs and sits on the lower step, between his legs, her back up against his chest, his arms around her shoulders, Shosanna has only known this type of intimacy with Marcel.

She begins kissing his hands.

One of his fingers probes her mouth.

The back of her head presses up hard against him, as his hand both caresses and grips her lovely neck.

She then TWISTS around so she’s straddling him. They are now face to face.

She gives him a deep French kiss.

A young MILITARY ATTACHÉ opens the sliding double doors that serve as an entrance to the room.

MILITARY ATTACHÉ Right this way, Lieutenant.

A snappy, handsome British lieutenant in dress brown steps inside the room. This officer, who has been mixing it up with the Gerrys since the late thirties, is LT. ARCHIE HICOX, a young George Sanders type (“The Saint” and “Private Affairs of Bel Ami” years).

Upon entering the room, Lt. Hicox is gobsmacked.

Standing before him is legendary military mastermind GEN. ED FENECH, an older George Sanders type (“Village of the Damned”).

But in the back of the room, sitting behind a piano, smoking his ever-present cigar, is the unmistakable bulk of WINSTON CHURCHILL.

The lieutenant was not expecting him.

Hicox salutes the general.

Hicox’s eyes go to the formidable bulldog behind the piano, who’s scrutinizing him behind his cigar. However, the man behind the cigar makes no gesture, and the general makes no acknowledgment of the three-hundred-pound gorilla in the room. Which Lt. Hicox knows enough to mean, if Churchill isn’t introduced, he ain’t there.

Hicox heads over to the bar globe.

The lieutenant moves over to the Columbus-style globe bar and busies himself mixing spirits, playing bartender chappy.

Fenech, eyeing the lieutenant’s file.

Back to them, mixing drinks, he says:

His back still to us, as he bartends . . .

He turns around with his whiskey and plain water and the general’s whiskey no junk. He finishes what he was saying, as he walks toward the general, handing him his drink.

He hands the general his whiskey.

SUDDENLY . . . bellowing from the back of the room:

Gen. Fenech looks to the prime minister.

With a puff of cigar smoke, Churchill says:

The general has to resort to peeking at his file.

Fenech can’t help suppress a smile. They have the right man.

He runs his finger along his hairline.

Gen. Fenech continues on with his exposition, moving over to a military map.

In the back of the room the bulldog barks:

The three British bulldogs laugh.

EXT—CINEMA ROOFTOP—DAY

Shosanna and Marcel are on the rooftop of their cinema literally making a movie.

Marcel is behind an old (even then) BOLEX 35MM MOVIE CAMERA, positioned low, looking up.

Shosanna, the camera subject, stands on boxes looking down into it.

A old-timey MICROPHONE is positioned out of frame.

As they always do, and always will, they speak FRENCH SUBTITLED into you know what.

She claps her hands in front of her face.

Shosanna takes a deep breath, then:

WE CUT, BEFORE SHE SPEAKS, TO . . .

THE SCENE EARLIER BETWEEN MARCEL AND SHOSANNA IN THE LOBBY, ON THE STAIRS, TALKING ABOUT BURNING DOWN THE CINEMA.

Big difference. This time, it’s in COLOR.

He snaps his fingers.

INT—SMALL FILM-PROCESSING LAB—LATE NIGHT

A old mom-and-pop film processing lab circa the thirties. Late late at night.

GASPAR, the fatherly figure of all the experimental French filmmakers in the decade before German rule, takes a SAVAGE BEATING at the hands of his friend Marcel.

Shosanna watches, pitiless.

Marcel holds Gaspar’s arm behind him as he forces his head flat against the tabletop.

Shosanna brings a HATCHET DOWN DEEP into the table, just by his face.

She lifts up the hatchet, raises it high . . .

WE SEE the five heavy silver film cans of Fredrick Zoller’s life story, “Nation’s Pride” (clearly marked), on the floor of the projection booth.

The can for REEL 4 is open and empty.

Shosanna’s at the editing bench. REEL 4 is up on the rewinds . . .

Shosanna SPLICES her and Marcel’s footage into REEL 4 of Fredrick’s film, rewinds it, puts it back in the can, and puts a piece of RED TAPE on the REEL 4 CAN.

She walks out of the booth, turning off the lights behind her, PLUNGING THE SCREEN INTO DARKNESS.

EXT—LA LOUISIANE (TAVERN)—NIGHT

We see a small basement tavern with an old rustic sign out front that reads “La Louisiane.”

“The village of Nadine, France”

TWO SHOT LT. HICOX and LT. ALDO RAINE Aldo is dressed like a French civilian. Hicox is dressed in a German gray S.S. captain’s uniform. They look out of a window, in an apartment, in the village of Nadine, overlooking the tavern.

Wilhelm Wicki joins the SHOT, dressed in a German S.S. lieutenant’s uniform.

WE SEE that the other Basterds, dressed in French civilian clothes, are in the room as well. They are Donowitz, Hirschberg, and Utivich. And in the back of the room, dressed in the gray uniform of an S.S. lieutenant, Hugo Stiglitz sits off by himself, sharpening his S.S. DAGGER on his leather belt, looped around his boot. Anybody not in the scene from the Basterd’s opening chapter is dead.

Lt. Hicox watches Stiglitz off by himself on the other side of the room SHARPENING his dagger menacingly.

Stiglitz is fucking weird . . .

Lt. Hicox approaches Stiglitz . . .

He continues bringing the blade’s edge up, then down on the leather strap.

Meaning the blade. Stiglitz doesn’t answer.

The renegade Gerry sergeant stops his blade’s progress and looks up at the limey lieutenant.

He turns his attention back to his blade.

Hicox moves over to Aldo and asks him privately:

Aldo just looks at him.

They move to the window, and sure enough, ONE LONE NAZI PRIVATE relieves himself against the side wall.

Lt. Hicox, this was definitely not the plan.

Sgt. Donowitz chides him:

The British officer watches the German soldier, who’s not supposed to be there. When Hugo Stiglitz joins him at the window, Stiglitz looks down at the urinating Nazi, S.S. dagger in hand.

He sheaths the dagger.

EXT—LA LOUISIANE (BASEMENT TAVERN)—NIGHT

The GERMAN PISSING PRIVATE sloppily finishes his task. Cramming his noodle back in his pants, he descends the stairs that lead him back into the basement tavern. We follow him . . .

INT—LA LOUISIANE (BASEMENT TAVERN)—NIGHT

Inside the basement tavern La Louisiane. It has a very low-hanging basement ceiling. A old-looking wood bar off to the right. And the only other space in the little tavern is taken up by two large (at least in here) tables, which take up both halves of the room. And despite rumors to the contrary, one of the two tables is completely filled with drunken, celebrating Nazi enlisted men, of which our urinating friend is one of five.

The five Nazis are sitting around the table, drinking, and playing a very fun game with none other than the Fräulein of the hour, UFA diva BRIDGET VON HAMMERSMARK, dressed to the nines in a chic, forties-style woman’s suit, complete with fedora. The game they’re playing consists of each player having a card with the name of a famous person, real or imaginary, stuck to their forehead. The player doesn’t know what name is on their forehead. So they ask the others questions to figure out who they are.

The five Germans’ five cards read: MASTER SGT #1: (POLA NEGRI); FEMALE SGT #2: (BEETHOVEN); GERMAN PRIVATE #3: (MATA HARI); GERMAN PRIVATE #4: (EDGAR WALLACE); GERMAN PRIVATE #5: (WINNETOU). And Bridget von Hammersmark, who wears her card in the brim of her fedora, has GENGHIS KHAN.

It’s German #5’s (WINNETOU) turn to ask questions.

The DIALOGUE will be in GERMAN and SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH.

The whole table bursts out laughing.

In the BACKGROUND, WE SEE our three counterfeit German officers—Hicox, Wicki, and Stiglitz—enter the basement tavern. They obviously see the five German soldiers, but they’re too far away for us (the audience) to read their faces. No doubt they’re less than happy. Fräuhlein von Hammersmark sees them as well. Without getting up, she waves to them.

The table CHEERS and APPLAUDS the Apache chief as he takes the card off his forehead.

The other four German soldiers drink down their beer (part of the game).

Bridget von Hammersmark knocks back her champagne.

The table heartily agrees.

Bridget looks directly at the master sergeant and does a perfect, and perfectly funny, double take.

Mata Hari looks directly at Beethoven and does a double take.

Soon the whole table is doing dueling double takes.

HICOX—WICKI—STIGLITZ watch the table do dueling double takes. Obviously, they don’t understand.

She walks over and joins the masquerading Germans’ table. The gentlemen rise. She greets each warmly with a French cheek kiss, as if she knows them well.

They all take a seat. The two basterds and one Brit drink whiskey. The tavern’s PROPRIETOR, an older, big-bellied Frenchman named EARL, comes over to the table and pours more champagne into Bridget’s champagne glass. He leaves, returning back behind the bar, with the YOUNG FRENCH BARMAID, the only other person in the establishment.

Obviously, they speak GERMAN, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

BACK TO THE GERMAN TABLE

The French barmaid has taken Bridget’s place in the rousing, rowdy game. She tells them her person must be French or she won’t know them. Winnetou thinks for a moment, then writes a name on a card. The barmaid puts it on her forehead. It says: NAPOLEON.

The Germans all laugh.

BACK TO THE BASTERDS’ TABLE

Hugo Stiglitz does a SPIT-TAKE.

Bridget’s eyes bore holes in him.

BACK TO THE REAL GERMANS They see Hugo do the spit-take and burst out laughing. Keeping it up, they begin to do dueling spit-takes, like they did dueling double takes earlier. Needless to say, they all get wet.

BACK TO THE REAL GERMAN TABLE Master Sgt. Pola Negri drinks his beer as he looks over, dreamily, at Bridget von Hammersmark at the other table.

Leni’s health is deteriorating, so if you have to speak . . .

Hicox, seeing the German master sergeant approach, signals for her to cool it.

The pretend officers offer congratulations to the sergeant.

The German master sergeant CLICKS his heels and bows before his superior officers.

He raises his hand . . . as do the seated phony officers: “Heil Hitler.”

As she takes a rather fancy fountain pen from her clutch . . .

Even the slightly psychotic Stiglitz likes this German sergeant.

He thrusts out his beer stein, for the officers to cheer.

Bridget finishes signing her autograph, with a big flourish.

She reaches into her clutch and pulls out some lipstick, applies some ruby-red color to her lips, and then kisses the napkin, leaving a big red lip print. Then she hands the treasured item to the young officer.

Then, to the whole tavern . . .

The whole room toasts.

This would be a good time for the German sergeant to go back to his table and his men. And he almost does . . . but . . . since he is drunk, and star struck, he out wears his welcome.

Feeling any good Nazi officer’s patience would have been exhausted long ago, Lt. Hicox butts in.

The table of game-playing soldiers hears this and gets quiet.

The German master sergeant looks quizzically at the officer.

The whole room pauses . . . for different reasons . . .

A silent moment passes between the two tables, then the two German- born imposters spring into action.

Stiglitz, STANDS and YELLS to the other table:

The Germans SPRING UP and take hold of Sgt. Pola . . .

The five known Germans move aside, revealing the unknown German in the room, unseen till now, our old friend from before: MAJOR DIETER HELLSTROM of the GESTAPO. The major stands from the little table he was sitting at.

The Gestapo major is now standing beside Sgt. Pola, before the imposter’s table.

Lt. Hicox calmly explains his origin.

As Bridget von Hammersmark places a cigarette in an ivory cigarette holder—which Hicox, as if on cue, lights for her she says:

The imposters laugh.

Then . . . so does the Gestapo major. He turns to the sergeant.

Which the young sergeant is more than happy to do. That table begins playing their game again.

Major Hellstrom, the highest-ranking officer in the room, bows graciously to the female German celebrity.

The Gestapo major sits at the table, opposite Lt. Hicox and Wicki. The French barmaid brings over the Major’s beer stein.

Chuckle . . . chuckle

Chuckle . . . chuckle.

Chuckle . . . chuckle.

Chuckle . . . chuckle.

BACK TO THE REAL GERMANS’ TABLE

They continue to have a lot of fun playing their game.

BACK TO THE OFFICERS’ TABLE

Lt. Hicox begins to refuse when Bridget (feeling she knows better) interrupts him:

The major borrows five cards from the other table and lays them out in front of Bridget and the officers.

As Maj. Hellstrom finishes explaining the finer points of the game, a CAMERA PANS OFF HIM and BEGINS SLOWLY ZOOMING INTO STIGLITZ. The major’s dialogue begins to FADE AWAY.

Until we’re in a SPAGHETTI WESTERN FLASHBACK. Which is RED-FILTERED FOOTAGE of Hugo being savagely WHIPPED by somebody wearing a GESTAPO UNIFORM, SUPERIMPOSED over his CLOSEUP.

The flashback disappears. It’s driving Stiglitz crazy, being this close to a Gestapo uniform and not plunging a knife into it.

The major’s voice comes back on the soundtrack.

Everybody write your names.

The five players write their names . . .

Then move their cards to the left . . .

Everybody sticks their cards on their forehead . . .

They laugh—but then Wicki says:

The table says, “Yes.”

The table confers and decides, yes, it is exotic.

The table says, “Yes, you are.”

The table says, “No.”

He throws the card on the table.

The three counterfeit Nazis knock back their whiskeys.

The table’s not sure what to do. Is this a confrontation? Then the major laughs.

Lt. Hicox holds up three fingers (pinky to middle finger) to Eric, the owner.

Eric brings the three glasses and the old bottle, pouring for the three soldiers.

Major Hellstrom lifts up his beer stein and toasts:

They all mutter, “a thousand-year reich” and clink glasses.

The Gestapo major puts down his beer stein, and then WE HEAR a CLICK under the table.

Lt. Hicox picks up his thirty-three-year-old single-malt scotch and says:

The English film critic commando picks up the thirty-three the Nazi major bought him and says:

He puts the glass down.

As does HICOX, HITTING not only Hellstrom, but BRIDGET as well.

HICOX FALLS to the floor . . . DEAD.

BRIDGET FALLS to the floor . . . SHOT.

EDGAR WALLACE is SHOT by WICKI.

FEMALE SGT. BEETHOVEN and STIGLITZ bring their guns toward each other and FIRE. They BOTH TAKE and GIVE each other so many BULLETS it’s almost romantic when they collapse DEAD on the floor.

WICKI and MATA HARI both ON THEIR FEET, FIRING WILDLY at each other. MATA HARI is HIT THREE TIMES. WICKI is HIT ONCE.

The SHOOTING STOPS . . . THE SMOKE caused by the gunfire . . . starts to DISSIPATE . . . The only one in the room left alive is the young German sergeant with the machine gun.

WE HEAR the feet of the soldiers outside reach the basement entrance.

The door opens . . .

The German sergeant sends FIFTY BULLETS in the door’s direction . . .

No one goes through it.

What we have here is a rabbit-hole-like situation. No one inside is getting out. No one outside is getting in.

The young German sergeant YELLS in ENGLISH to the outside:

Aldo’s voice YELLS down the hole:

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) We’re Americans! What are you?

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) You speak English pretty good for a German!

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Okay, talk!

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Okay, okay, it wasn’t your fault! What’s your name, soldier?

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) That’s the same name as one of the guys you just killed!

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Okay, Wilhelm . . . is anybody alive on our side?

We hear a VOICE OFFSCREEN yell out:

BRIDGET’S VOICE (OS) I’m alive!

Wilhelm spins in the direction of the voice.

On the floor, with a bullet in her BLOODY LEG, lies the still-alive Bridget von Hammersmark.

The German sergeant points the muzzle of the machine gun at the German celebrity, with hate in his eyes.

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Who’s that?

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Wilhelm, who is that?

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Which girl?

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Yeah, she’s ours!

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Is she okay?

We hear the Basterds curse their luck offscreen.

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Okay, Wilhelm, what’d ya say we make a deal?

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Aldo. Wilhelm, can I call ya Willi?

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) So, Willi, you know we could lob three or four or five or six grenades down there and your little war story ends here. But good fer you, bad fer her. You die, she dies. So what say we make a swap?

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Okay, Willi, here’s my deal! You let me and one of my men come down to take the girl away! And we take the girl and leave! That simple, Willi! You go your way, we go ours! And little Max gets to grow up playing catch with his daddy! So what ‘ya say, Willi, we got a deal?

Bridget watches Willi think . . .

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) I’m here, Willi!

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) What choice ya got?

ALDO’S VOICE (OS) Well, now, Willi, that’s true enough. But something you need to know, so you don’t get the wrong idea. Ain’t none of us give a fuck ‘bout that girl. But, admittedly, if you kill her, it would fuck up our plans. But you’ll be dead by then anyway, so what’d you care? And let’s not forget that little Katzenjammer Max, growin’ up without a pop. So in the spirit of gettin’ you home to him, we got a deal, Willi?

Aldo and Hirschberg come down the stairs, showing open hands.

Willi keeps his machine gun trained on them.

Aldo, with his hands up, says:

Willi pointing the gun at them . . . thinking . . .

He puts the machine gun down on the bar.

Aldo and Hirschberg spin around, shocked.

From the floor, the bloody, sweaty, and in excruciating pain (she’ll probably lose that leg} German movie star says to the two American soldiers she’s just meeting for the first time:

INT—FRENCH HOUSE IN COUNTRY (BEDROOM)—NIGHT

An OLD MAN lies asleep under the covers of his blankets, in his bed, in his bedroom . . .

and the sound of FEET RUNNING TOWARD US . . .

his bedroom door is THROWN OPEN, and Sgt. Donowitz RUSHES IN, grabbing the old man in his bed and putting a

Donny SLAMS the .45 hard against the old man’s head, shocking, scaring, and bringing the old gent to attention.

He nods his head, yes.

Donny YANKS/DRAGS the old man out of bed, in his almost comical nightshirt (which makes him cuter, thus the brutality against him hurts more) toward the door . . .

INT—DOCTOR’S EXAMINING ROOM—NIGHT

house, with an examining table and medical instruments.

However, it’s obviously the medical examining room of a veterinarian.

Along the walls are different cages with eight BARKING dogs in them.

The soldiers are putting the shot-in-the-leg, bleeding, and in excruciating pain Bridget on the examining table.

Donny, still holding onto the Old Man, points in the girl’s direction . . .

Donny jams the barrel of his .45 into the thigh of the old man.

The old man nods his head, yes.

Bridget screams from the table . . .

Donny yells at the old man:

The old man tries to explain in French that he’s not a human doctor

Donny takes the .45 and SHOOTS one of the DOGS in the cages.

Donny SCREAMS at the old man:

The old man begs him to stop and goes to get the morphine.

The BODY of Gestapo Major DIETER HELLSTROM dead on the floor.

INT—LA LOUISIANE—NIGHT

We’re back in the basement tavern. Col. Hans Landa stands over the corpse. He moves over to the next corpse, and a smile breaks out on his face.

He says in GERMAN SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

A Nazi soldier named HERRMAN joins the S.S. officer.

The SERGEANT of the German company yells to the trio:

The TRIO NOW DOWN the GERMAN COMPANY with their machine guns.

Looking down he sees something . . .

Bending down, he examines Fräulein von Hammersmark’s two pretty dress shoes lying on the floor.

One shoe is covered in blood.

The other, while blood-speckled, is fairly clean.

Picking up the clean shoe and holding it in his hand.

AN OFFSCREEN SOLDIER’S VOICE cries out:

We follow Hans to the spot on the floor where Sgt. Willi lies. He’s shot in the chest, but it looks like Max’s daddy is still alive.

INT—EXAMINING ROOM—NIGHT

Bridget on the examining table, post morphine shot.

The other Basterds in the room watch Aldo interrogate the German lady.

Aldo thinks for a moment . . .

She holds up three fingers, middle to pinky.

She holds up three fingers, thumb to middle.

They do. And she opens it and takes out three tickets to the film premiere.

Donny breaks the team’s silence:

Aldo stands up from the chair, pacing as he takes in this new information.

Donny, referring to Aldo and himself:

Bridget SCREAMS in frustration:

All the Basterds, except Donny, burst out laughing.

The CAMERA WHIP-PANS to SGT. DONOWITZ.

Bridget rolls her eyes.

We’re in Shosanna and Marcel’s living quarters above the cinema. We’ve never been in here before.

A SUBTITLE APPEARS ONSCREEN:

“NIGHT OF ‘NATION’S PRIDE’ PREMIERE”

Shosanna’s standing before a full-length mirror in a real attractive forties-style dress for the premiere. She’s stunning. This is the first time in her life she’s had the opportunity or the occasion to wear something like this. Since she knows this is the last night of her life, no time like the present.

SOUNDS of the hubbub of the premiere, not to mention the German brass band that’s blaring Third Reich marches, can be heard coming from below.

Shosanna walks to her apartment window and looks down at the Germanic miasma below.

SHOSANNA’S POV WE SEE all the pageantry below. Tons of SPECTATORS. Tons of guests dressed in Nazi uniforms, tuxedoes, and female finery, walking up the long red carpet (with a big swastika in the middle, naturally) leading into Shosanna’s cinema. The German brass band omm-pa-pa-ing away. German radio and film crews covering the event for the fatherland back home. And, of course, MANY GERMAN SOLDIERS providing security for this joyous Germanic occasion.

Shosanna COUGHS up a lugi and HOCKS it.

A GERMAN S.S. GENERAL being interviewed by a RADIO COMMENTATOR—the lugi HITS him right on his bald head.

Shosanna goes back to the full-length mirror, places a very fashionable forties-style hat on her head, then lowers the period- style black fishnet veil over her face. She takes out a small GUN and puts it in the pocket of her dress, and it’s on. She exits the apartment door to join the premiere. From this point on, there’s no turning back. It’s all the way baby, all the fucking way!

INT—CINEMA STAIRWELL—NIGHT

The stairwell in the building that connects the living quarters with the cinema. Shosanna walks down the stairs and goes through a door that puts her next to the projection booth door. She takes out a key and opens it.

INT—PROJECTION BOOTH—NIGHT

Marcel’s prepping the film reels for tonight. The five silver metal film cans that carry one 35mm reel of film each are laid out. The cans for reels one and two are empty. Cans for reel three, our specially marked can for reel four, and the can for reel five (which should never see the light of a projector) lie in wait.

Shosanna, looking like a forties movie star, enters the projection booth.

The scene in FRENCH SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

Marcel lifts up the veil covering her face and their lips meet.

INT—CINEMA LOBBY—NIGHT

The pageantry of the evening is in full swing, as all the German beautiful people enter the cinema. They mingle in the swastika-covered, Greek-nude-statue-peppered lobby. Nazi military commanders, high-ranking party officials, and German celebrities (Emil Jannings, Veit Harlan) hobnob and drink Champagne from passing WAITERS, who carry glasses on silver trays.

We see Shosanna enter from the area at the top of the big staircase in the lobby that overlooks the lobby parlor entrance. She descends the staircase and busies herself with theater stuff.

At the top of the staircase, looking down at the master race in all their finery, is Col. Hans Landa, dressed in his finest S.S. dress uniform.

They start to leave.

He walks over to the patient in the hospital bed. It’s none other than SGT. WILLI, and yes, he’s still alive.

Landa pulls up a chair next to the bed and sits down.

The THINK BUBBLE DISSOLVES away, revealing the entrance again, and as if on perfect cue, in walks Bridget von Hammersmark, dressed lovely, leg in a big white cast. The three Basterds in their tuxedos flank her.

He descends the stairs, toward the four saboteurs . . .

They speak in GERMAN, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

They chuckle and air kiss.

A brief moment passes between the two . . .

The colonel begins to regain his composure . . .

The double meaning is not lost on the German actress.

This stops her for a second.

Then Landa laughs it off, taking them off the hook.

The German Fräulein turns to the three tuxedo-wearing Basterds.

The Basterds know only too well who Landa the Jew Hunter is, but they can’t show it.

Aldo sticks out his hand . . .

The German takes his hand . . .

(FRENCH) It means daisies, I believe.

Turning his gaze to Donny.

Now to Hirschberg . . .

Then Hirschberg breaks out the best Italian accent of the group:

Col. Landa stops a WAITER with a tray of champagne glasses.

Everyone gets a glass.

Shosanna joins the circle and is handed a champagne glass.

This is the first moment the Basterds are aware of Shosanna.

All three smile goofy, spaghetti-bender smiles.

Donny hands her two tickets. She indicates for them to follow her.

Donny and Hirschberg both exchange one last look with Aldo, then follow the young French girl into the auditorium.

INT—AUDITORIUM—NIGHT

The cinema auditorium is filling up quickly with gray and black uniforms.

Shosanna finds the two counterfeit Italians their seats.

After she points out their seats, she turns to leave . . .

Hirschberg . . . reaches out and grabs her wrist. . . .

He looks her in the face and, filled with tremendous guilt, because if he’s successful tonight he’s going to blow this cute French girl to smithereens, he says:

The cute French girl looks back at the goofy-looking Italian boy with slicked-back hair that makes him look kind of Jewish with tremendous guilt, knowing if she is successful tonight, she’s going to burn him alive, and says:

Col. Landa, Lt. Aldo, and Bridget are still together.

What are either of them supposed to do, argue?

Col. Landa goes over to one of the Nazi GUARDS/USHERS and whispers in his ear, guesturing toward Aldo. Like he’s saying, leave the boy alone, till we come back . . . Or is he?

Col. Landa limps Bridget away toward Shosanna’s office.

As Aldo stands in the lobby, more and more people enter the auditorium, till it’s only Aldo and the six Nazi guards/ushers in the now-vacant lobby.

INT—SHOSANNA’S OFFICE—NIGHT

Shosanna’s cinema manager’s office. It’s small, cluttered, and dominated by a desk.

Col. Landa closes the door behind him and LOCKS IT.

Bridget notices but says nothing.

Now the two Germans are alone.

Pointing at one lone chair in front of the desk.

She lowers herself in the chair.

Instead of moving around to the other side of the desk, opposite her, the S.S. Colonel pulls another little chair over and places it in front of the fräulein.

He sits, their knees almost touching.

The colonel points to the foot not in the cast.

Patting his lap more with more aggression.

The nervous fräulein lifts up her strappy dress shoe enclosed foot and places it in the colonel’s lap.

The Colonel very delicately unfastens the thin straps that hold the fräulein’s shoe on her foot . . .

He slips it on her foot . . .

Bridget knows she’s BUSTED.

Col. Landa smiles and says in ENGLISH:

He removes her foot from his lap.

She stares defiant daggers into him.

Bridget’s face turns tomato RED, as the VEINS in her face BULGE and her esophagus is CRUSHED in his GRIP.

With a violent YANK, he JERKS her TO THE FLOOR. She TUMBLES out of the chair, Landa never releasing his GRIP around her throat. Now fully on top of her, he BEARS DOWN, SQUEEZING THE VERY LIFE OUT OF HER. Everything he has, he brings to bear on the elegant lady’s neck.

Then, to finally finish her off, he begins BANGING THE BACK OF HER HEAD, HARD AGAINST THE FLOOR . . .

He releases the grip around her throat. His hands are TREMBLING . . .

Strangling the very life out of somebody with your bare hands is the most violent act a human being can commit.

Also, only humans strangle, opposable thumbs being a quite important part of the endeavor. As Hans Landa stands, the sheer violence he had to call on to accomplish this task still surges through him. He tries to gain control of the trembling that is rippling through his body. He takes out a silver S.S. FLASK (filled with peach schnapps) and knocks back a couple of swigs. He holds his hand out in front of him. The TREMBLING is beginning to subside. He picks up the telephone.

Into the phone, in German, he says:

Step one in Hans’s master plan, done.

He then dials another number . . .

Aldo in the lobby . . .

He’s THROWN ROUGHLY to the ground face first. Like the modern- day Secret Service, within seconds his wrists are handcuffed behind his back and he’s searched. They find the BOMB attached to his ankle. It’s removed, and a BLACK CLOTH BAG is pulled over his head. Then he’s hoisted up and RUSHED out of the building.

This happens in mere seconds, and quietly too. No one in the auditorium is none the wiser . . .

INT—AUDITORIUM—NIGHT

master race, waiting for showtime.

The six Nazi soldiers hustle the hooded Aldo down the red carpet, then into the alley beside the cinema.

Aldo’s put up against a wall.

Inside the black hood, he’s SCREAMING every insulting thing about Germany, Germans, German food, German shepherd . . . anything.

COL. LANDA’S VOICE (OS) Shut up!

The faceless black hood does.

Col. Landa, now standing directly in front of his hooded prisoner, says in ENGLISH:

He reaches out with his finger and lightly touches Aldo’s face right in the middle of the hood.

Aldo’s head VIOLENTLY FLINCHES.

In German, he orders the men to put Aldo in the back of a truck.

Aldo, bound and bagged, is put in the truck. Also in the truck is Utivich, wearing a makeshift chauffeur’s uniform, bound and bagged like the lieutenant.

The truck drives off.

Col. Landa turns around and SEES FROM A DISTANCE Hitler’s motorcade pull up to the cinema. Then the Führer, Goebbels, Francesca, and the rest of the entourage make their way down the red carpet into the cinema.

We see the truck leaving the city of Paris, under the veil of night.

We also seem to be leaving the drama of Operation Kino.

INT—TRUCK (MOVING)—NIGHT

The two hooded prisoners bounce along in the back of the truck.

Utivich is crying inside his hood.

LT. ALDO
Utivich?
UTIVICH
Is that you, Lieutenant?
LT. ALDO
Yep.
UTIVICH
Do you know what happened to Donny? Hirschberg? The woman?
UTIVICH
Do you know what happened to Donny? Hirschberg? The woman?
LT. ALDO
No, I do not.
UTIVICH
Lieutenant, sorry I’m crying.
LT. ALDO
Nothin’ to be sorry about, son. This bag get to anyone.
UTIVICH
Not exactly John Wayne, am I?
LT. ALDO
John Wayne’s a pampered movie star. He bursts into tears if his cook busts his yoke at breakfast. Just try puttin’ a bag over his head and hear what kinda sounds he makes.

Utivich giggles through the tears.

LT. ALDO
I just want you to know, son, I was real proud of you tonight. Learnin’ how to drive overnight. Driving in that limo line. You was in the hot seat, son, and you stood up real good.

Utivich cries LOUDER.

Aldo takes his foot, finds Utivich’s foot, and places his foot on top.

The TOUCH has a slightly calming effect on Utivich.

In the darkness, Utivich has reclaimed his dignity.

EXT—COUNTRY TAVERN—NIGHT

The truck pulls up to a small tavern outside of Paris (not La Louisaiane).

The two hooded prisoners are walked inside the establishment.

INT—COUNTRY TAVERN—NIGHT

The hooded men are led into the closed for business, but open for something else rustic tavern.

The Nazi guards unlock the handcuffs, then sit them down in chairs.

Then, simultaneously, the hoods are YANKED OFF.

The two prisoners are seated at a table, in what they can now see is a rustic tavern. On the table is one telephone, one bottle of Chianti, and three glasses. And on the opposite end of the table sits Col. Hans Landa.

A NAZI SOLDIER sits posted at an impressive-looking two-way radio set up in the tavern.

Col. Landa starts in right away at the two baffled, discombobulated American soldiers.

They will only speak ENGLISH in the scene.

COL. LANDA
Italian? Really?
(BEAT)
What could you have possibly been thinking?
LT. ALDO
Well, I speak a little Italian—
COL. LANDA
I speak a little Tagalog, but I wouldn’t begin to presume I could pass for Filipino. Don’t get me wrong, I understand you were in a pickle, what with you losing your Germans. And I have nothing but admiration for improvisation. Still . . . Chico Marx is more convincing. If the three of you had shown up at the premiere dressed in woman’s attire, it would have been more convincing.

Landa’s eyes go to the two Nazi guards behind the prisoners.

COL. LANDA
(GERMAN)
You may leave us. But stay alert outside.

They exit, leaving the colonel, the lieutenant, the private, and a German radio man in the corner.

COL. LANDA
So you’re Aldo the Apache?
LT. ALDO
So you’re the Jew Hunter?
COL. LANDA
Jew Hunter (pfuit). I’m a detective. A damn good detective. Finding people is my specialty. So naturally I worked for the Nazis finding people. And yes, some of them were Jews. But Jew Hunter? Just the name that stuck.
UTIVICH
Well, you do hafta admit, it is catchy.
COL. LANDA
Do you control the nicknames your enemies bestow on you? Aldo the Apache and the Little Man?
UTIVICH
What do you mean, the Little Man?
COL. LANDA
The German’s nickname for you.
UTIVICH
The German’s nickname for me is the Little Man?
COL. LANDA
Or the “Little One”, either one means you. And as if to make my point, I’m a little surprised how tall you are in real life. I mean, you’re a little fellow. But not circus-midget little, as your reputation would suggest.
LT. ALDO
Where are my men? Where is Bridget von Hammersmark?
COL. LANDA
Bridget von Hammersmark. Oh, I’m sure she’s in whatever, big bubbling cesspool in hell the devil reserves for traitors of her ilk.
COL. LANDA
(CON’T)
Well, let’s just say she got what she deserved. And when you purchase friends like Bridget von Hammersmark, you get what you pay for. Now as far as your paisanos Sergeant Donowitz and Private Hirschberg—
LT. ALDO
How do you know our names?
COL. LANDA
Lt. Aldo, if you don’t think I wouldn’t interrogate every single one of your swastika-marked survivors . . . ? We simply aren’t operating on the level of mutual respect I assumed. Now, back to the whereabouts of your two Italian saboteurs. At this moment, both Hirschberg and Donowitz should be sitting in the very seats we left them in. Seats 0023 and 0024, if my memory serves. Explosives, still around their ankles, still ready to explode. And your mission, some would call it a terrorist plot, as of this moment is still a go.

The two basterds don’t believe this. It can’t be true.

LT. ALDO
That’s a pretty exciting story. What’s next, Eliza on the ice?
COL. LANDA
However, all I have to do is pick up that phone right there, inform the cinema, and your plans kaput.
LT. ALDO
IF they’re still there, and IF they’re still alive, and that’s one big IF, there ain’t no way you gonna take them boys without settin’ off them bombs.
COL. LANDA
I have no doubt, and yes, some Germans will die, and yes, it will ruin the evening, and yes, Goebbels will be very very very mad at you for what you’ve done to his big night. But you won’t get Hitler, you won’t get Goebbels, you won’t get Goering, and you won’t get Boormann. And you need all four to end the war.
(pause)
But if I don’t pick up that phone right there, you may very well get all four. And if you get all four, you end the war . . . tonight.

The Nazi colonel lifts up the bottle of Chianti and fills three glasses. As he pours, he says:

COL. LANDA
So, gentlemen, let’s discuss the prospect of ending the war . . . tonight.

All three have their Chianti filled glasses.

COL. LANDA
So the way I see it, since Hitler’s death, or possible rescue, rests solely on my reaction . . . If I do nothing . . . It’s as if I’m causing his death, even more than yourselves. Would you agree?
LT. ALDO
I guess so.
COL. LANDA
How about you, Utivich?
UTIVICH
I guess so too.
COL. LANDA
Good, we more or less all agree. Gentlemen, I have no intention of killing Hitler, and killing Goebbels, and killing Goering, and killing Boormann, not to mention winning the war single-handedly for the Allies, only later to find myself standing before a Jewish tribunal.

Now they get it.

COL. LANDA
If you want to win the war, tonight, we have to make a deal.
LT. ALDO
What kinda deal?
COL. LANDA
The kind you wouldn’t have the authority to make. However, I’m sure this mission of yours has a commanding officer? A general, I’m betting. For . . .
(thinking)
. . . . O.S.S. would be my guess.

Aldo’s eyebrows reveal that was a good guess.

COL. LANDA
Oooh, that’s a bingo. Is that the way you say it, that’s a bingo?
LT. ALDO
You just say, bingo.
COL. LANDA
Bingo! How fun. But I digress, where were we? Oh, yes, make a deal. Over there is a very capable two-way radio. And sitting behind it is a more than capable radio operator named Herrman. Get me somebody on the other end of that radio with the power of the pen to authorize my— let’s call it, the terms of my conditional surrender, if that tastes better going down.
BACK TO THE PREMIER
Shosanna is in the booth. She brings down the lights.

In the packed, excited auditorium, the house lights go down.

CU CURTAIN SWITCH. She flips it.

In the auditorium, the RED VELVET CURTAINS part.

Shosanna throws the lever on the first projector.

The PROJECTOR BULB goes HOT WHITE, PROJECTING A BEAM . . .

FILM REELS rotate . . .

35mm FILM moves through the projector’s film gate . . .

The opening seal of a film by the THIRD REICH flickers on the SCREEN . . .

Goebbels and Francesca watch . . .

Hitler watches . . .

Fredrick watches . . .

Donowitz and Hirschberg watch . . .

Shosanna, in the booth, watches through the little window . . .

The CAMERA PANS OFF of Shosanna to the clearly marked film can, REEL 4. The SURPRISE REEL.

BACK TO LANDA AND THE BASTERDS Landa, with radio headphones over his ears and a microphone in his hand, talks to the UNSEEN/UNHEARD American brass on the other end.

COL. LANDA

23

. . SO, WHEN THE MILITARY HISTORY OF THIS

night is written, it will be recorded that I was part of Operation Kino from the very beginning, as a double agent. Anything I’ve done in my guise as an S.S. colonel was sanctioned by the O.S.S., as a necessary evil to establish my cover with the Germans. And it was my placement of Lieutenant Raine’s dynamite in Hitler and Goebbels’s opera box that assured their demise. By the way, that last part is actually true.

FLASH ON
Landa placing bomb in Hitler and Goebbels’s opera box.
BACK TO LANDA
COL. LANDA I want my full military pension and benefits under my proper rank. I want to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor for my invaluable assistance in the toppling of the Third Reich.

He looks over and sees Aldo and Utivich watching the one-sided conversation.

COL. LANDA
In fact, I want all the members of “Operation Kino” to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor. Full citizenship for myself—but that goes without saying. And I would like the United States of America to purchase property for me on Nantucket island, as a reward for all the countless lives I’ve saved by bringing the tyranny of the National Socialist Party to a swifter than imagined end. Do you have all that, sir?
(pause)
I look forward to seeing you face to face as well, sir.
(pause)
He’s right here.

The colonel hands the headphones and microphone to Aldo.

LT. ALDO
Yes, sir?

We HEAR the VOICE on the other end of the radio give Aldo his orders:

RADIO VOICE (OS)
Colonel Landa will put you and Private Utivich in a truck as prisoners. Then he and his radio operator will get in the truck, drive to our lines. Upon crossing our lines, Colonel Landa and his man will surrender to you. You will then take over driving of the truck and bring them straight to me for debriefing. Is that clear, Lieutenant?
LT. ALDO
Yes, sir.

The conversation is over. He puts the radio down.

The three men look at one another.

Landa picks up his wine.

COL. LANDA
So I suppose the only thing left to do is lift a glass and toast to Donowitz and Hirschberg’s success. You too, Herrman, come over here.

The four men, Col. Hans Landa, Lt. Aldo Raine, Pfc. Smithson Utivich, and Herrman, lift up four glasses of wine.

COL. LANDA
Gentlemen, to history, and its witnesses.
CHEERS.
BACK TO THE PREMIERE

WE CUT TO THE B/W FILM ON SCREEN. Fredrick Zoller, playing himself, is in an ornamental tower in a Russian village, picking off RUSSIAN SOLDIERS below.

A RUSSIAN GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY
peering at the German private through binoculars. He lowers the long-range glasses and confers with one of his OFFICERS.
GEN. KCHOVLANSKEY
(RUSSIAN)
What’s the death toll?
OFFICER
(RUSSIAN)
47, so far.
WE HEAR A SHOT.
OFFICER
(RUSSIAN)
48. General, I implore you, we must destroy that tower!
GEN. KCHOVLANSKEY
(RUSSIAN)
That tower is one of the oldest and most beautiful structures in Russia. I won’t be responsible for turning a thousand years of history into dust!

A BRAVE RUSSIAN SOLDIER tries to run between two buildings.

Zoller gets him.

Then proceeds to pick him apart, one bullet at a time.

SHOSANNA IN THE PROJECTION BOOTH She removes “REEL 4” (the Special Shosanna Reel) and prepares it on the second projector. Reel 3, on the first projector, playing now, is halfway through. In a few short minutes, it’s going to be show time.

Marcel says to Shosanna in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

MARCEL
It’s time. I should go lock the auditorium and take my place behind the screen.

This is the last time they will ever see each other—too much to say. He holds her in his arms and lays a one kiss before I die wet one on her.

DONOWITZ AND HIRSCHBERG
sit in their seats watching the movie, surrounded by DRESS-UNIFORM NAZIS. They’ve developed a dopey way of communicating with each other in this hostile environment.

Basically, speaking English as if it were gibberish Italian they say English words, only adding an “I” or “A” or “O” to the end of it. And saying it in an exaggerated Italian accent, complete with pantomimes.

Donowitz leans into Hirschberg and says in a whisper:

They speak in ITALIAN-ISH SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

SGT. DONOWITZ
(ITALIAN-ISH)
I-a go-a toilet-a, set-ta Boom-a.
(I go to the toilet and set the bomb.)
When-a I-a go-a, you-a set-ta Boom-a.
(When I go, you set your bomb.)

Hirschberg indicates/pantomimes that he can’t set his bomb surrounded by all these Nazis.

Donowitz pantomimes crossing his legs and setting the bomb on his ankle in his seat. Then getting up and dropping it in the back of the auditorium in the dark.

Hirschberg doesn’t get it.

HIRSCHBER
What-a?
(What?)

Donny pantomimes again, more exaggerated, and with less patience.

HIRSCHBERG
Affirm-ato, affirm-ato
(Affirmative, affirmative.)
SGT. DONOWITZ
They-o look-o screen-a, not-o you-a.
(They’re looking at the screen, not you.)
HIRSCHBERG
Fantastic-o.
(Fantastic.)
SGT. DONOWITZ
After-teri, set-ta, five-o moment-o
(pointing to watch)
You-a, pphisst.
(After you set the bomb, wait five minutes, and get out of here.)
HIRSCHBERG
What-o?
(What?)
SGT. DONOWITZ
Confussi-i, confuss-i, confuss-i.
(Confused, confused, confused.)
What-a, and-o what-o, same-o?
(I thought “What-a” meant “What.” Does “What-o” mean “What,” as well?)
HIRSCHBERG
Oh-o, sorr-o, I-o meant-a “What-a.”
(Oh, sorry, I meant what.)
SGT. DONOWITZ
After-teri, you-a set-ta bom-a, five-o moment-o, you-a, fuck-o pphisst.
(After you set the bomb, wait five minutes and get the fuck out of here.)
HIRSCHBERG
Affirm-ato, affirm-ato.
(Affirmative, affirmative.)
SGT. DONOWITZ
Good-a, luck-a.
(Good luck.)

Donowitz stands up from his seat and walks out of the dark auditorium into the lobby. The Nazi guards/ushers are gone, and the lobby is completely empty. Seeing the STAIRS leading down to the WATER CLOSET/BATHROOM, he descends them to plant the Boom-a—I mean, the bomb.

DESCENDING THE STAIRS
leading to the water closet. Like a lot of old cinemas, not only was the water closet located under the auditorium, you had to pass through a rather large SMOKING LOUNGE to get to it. In the smoking lounge are TEN NAZI ENLISTED MEN, the guards/ushers for the event, smoking and indulging in soldiers’ gossip. They’re all in dress uniforms, and all are armed.

Donowitz, in his tuxedo, acts cool and walks right through them.

They look up but don’t disturb their time-off vibe.

Donny enters the big water closet. Except for ONE LONE NAZI ENLISTED MAN at the urinal, it would appear as if Donny has the whole washroom to himself.

He enters the privacy of a toilet stall and locks the door.

MARCEL IN LOBBY
He descends the stairs leading down from the projection booth into the empty lobby. He goes to one of the auditorium doors and peers inside.

WE SEE THE SCREEN AND THE AUDIENCE FROM MARCEL’S POV in the back of the room. The audience seems riveted to Fredrick’s exploits onscreen.

Marcel closes the door and, with a KEY, DEADBOLTS it SHUT.

INSIDE THE AUDITORIUM
WE PAN OFF THE SCREEN to Marcel, who locks the two doors on either side of the screen . . . Due to curtains placed there, no one notices Marcel’s actions.

Marcel then goes BEHIND THE SCREEN. WE SEE THE IMAGE (backward) of Fredrick’s sniper battle HUGE, COVERING THE ENTIRE SIDE OF THE ROOM . . . A PILE of over 300 nitrate FILM PRINTS lies like a junk pile, right behind the screen.

Sitting down in a wooden chair facing the screen and pile-o-film, he lights up a cigarette, an absolute no-no in a cinema of this era, but tonight, what does it matter?

He smokes and waits for his cue to . . . BURN IT DOWN!

FREDRICK IN OPERA BOX
alongside Hitler, Goebbels, Francesca, and Boormann. Onscreen the battle rages. He leans over and whispers something in Goebbel’s ear we can’t hear. Goebbels makes a very sympathetic face (at least sympathetic for Goebbels) and says in German:
GOEBBELS
Perfectly understandable, dear boy. You go now, and we’ll see you after the show.

He exits the opera box and walks to the projection booth door. He raps on the door in a trying to be amusing way.

The door opens, just a little bit. Shosanna, not friendly, stares at him.

He, as usual, is all smiles and charm.

They speak in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

FREDRICK
Are you the manager of this cinema? I want my money back. That actor in the movie stinks.

He laughs.

She doesn’t even smile. She says, all serious business:

SHOSANNA
What are you doing here?
FREDRICK
I came to visit you.
SHOSANNA
Can’t you see how busy I am?
FREDRICK
Then allow me to lend an assist.
SHOSANNA
Fredrick, it’s not funny. You can’t be here. This is your premiere. You need to be out there with them.

As Fredrick prepares to tell his little tale with all the charm at his command, Shosanna listens, knowing the third reel is just about over and her big reel change is coming up.

FREDRICK
Normally, you would be right. And for all the other films I do, I intend to endure evenings like tonight in the proper spirit. However, the fact remains, this film is based on my military exploits. And in this case, my exploits consisted of me killing many men. Consequently, the part of the film that’s playing now, . . . I don’t like watching this part.
SHOSANNA
Fredrick, I am sorry, but—
FREDRICK
—So, I thought I’d come up here and do what I do best, annoy you. And from the look on your face, it would appear I haven’t lost my touch.
DONNY IN TOILET
Sgt. Donowitz, with BOMB in his lap, sets the timer for six minutes from now. He then places the bomb in the back of the toilet tank.

CAMERA ON FLOOR OF WATER CLOSET We see the tile of the floor stretch out before us. We see Donny’s feet in the closed toilet stall. We HEAR the OFFSCREEN Nazi enlisted man finish his piss. Then HIS SHOES WALK THROUGH FRAME . . . WE FOLLOW THEM TO . . . the SINK . . . WE STAY ON the shoes . . . as WE HEAR the Soldier WASH HIS HANDS . . . THEN

24

. . THE CAMERA RISES UP HIS PANT LEG . . . TILL . . . WE’RE EYE

LEVEL with the German soldier, with an ARMY CAP on his head, who’s done washing his hands . . . THEN . . . the soldier removes his cap, brushes some bangs out of his face, and WE SEE THE SWASTIKA HAND-CARVED INTO HIS FOREHEAD, THE UNDENIABLE MARK OF THE BASTERDS. He SPLASHES some WATER ON HIS FACE, puts his cap back on his head, and joins his comrades in the smoking lounge. As he exits THE FRAME, he says to somebody OFFSCREEN;

SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
(GERMAN)
Hey, Fritz, you owe me three cigarettes. Now pay up.
SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK
Fredrick still outside the doorway, and Shosanna still baring the way.
SHOSANNA
I have to get prepared for the reel change.
FREDRICK
Let me do it?
SHOSANNA
No.
FREDRICK
Oh, please, it’s been two years since I’ve done a reel change.
SHOSANNA
I said, no.
FREDRICK
(cute whine)
Come on, it’s my premiere.
SHOSANNA
Are you so used to the Nazis kissing your ass, you’ve forgotten what the word “no” means? No, Fredrick, you can’t come in here. Now go away!

No subtitles for Fredrick needed this time. He gets it.

He does a one-armed PILE-DRIVE PUSH on the door, knocking both it OPEN and Shosanna back into the room.

Fredrick, a different cat than we’ve seen up till now, enters the booth, closing the door behind him and LOCKING it.

The quite startled Shosanna says to Fredrick:

SHOSANNA
Fredrick, you hurt me.
FREDRICK
Well, it’s nice to know you can feel something. Even if it’s just physical pain.

Fredrick steps forward . . .

Shosanna steps backward . . .

FREDRICK
I’m not a man you say “Go away” to. There’s over three hundred dead bodies in Russia that, if they could, would testify to that. After what I’ve done for you, you disrespect me at your peril.
BACK TO WASHROOM
The Swastika forehead soldier gets a light for his cigarette. He takes a big drag.

SOLDIER’S POV He faces the washroom, and down that long row, he sees Donny emerge from the toilet stall. His tuxedo jacket is off and draped over his right hand. Sporting the white dress shirt and black tuxedo vest, he’s quite far away, so now he just looks like some guy in a tux who just finished taking a shit. Donny walks toward us . . .

CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
seeing him get closer . . .
SOLDIER POV
Donny gets closer . . .
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
seeing him closer still . . .
SOLDIER POV
Donny gets closer . . .
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
begins to notice . . .
SOLDIER POV
Donny getting closer, begins to notice the German soldier notice him . . .
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
Now Donny is close enough for the soldier to recognize. His face SCREAMS:
SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
The Bear Jew!!!

The soldier’s GUN is out of its holster and rising toward Donny’s chest . . .

WHEN . . .
Donny raises his right arm, with the tuxedo jacket on it, and FIRES a GUN concealed under it.

HITTING Swastika Forehead in the chest . . . who finishes raising his GUN, FIRING, HITTING Donny in the chest . . .

The two soldiers FIRE INTO each other . . . till their weapons are empty, and the two men lie dead on the floor.

The ten other NAZIS in the room stand shocked at what just happened in front of them.

SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK IN THE PROJECTION ROOM Fredrick hears the gunshots below them and turns toward the door.

FREDRICK
What the hell was that?

While Fredrick’s back is turned, Shosanna takes a GUN out of her pocket and SHOOTS Fredrick THREE TIMES in the back . . .

25

. . HE CRASHES HARD INTO THE DOOR, THEN FALLS FACE FIRST TO

the floor . . .

Shosanna, gun in hand, looks out the projection booth window into the audience . . .

The ONSCREEN BATTLE rages so LOUDLY with GUNFIRE that her weapon didn’t stand a chance of being heard.

Her eyes go from the audience . . .

26

. . UP TO THE BIG SCREEN . . .

27

. . WHICH HOLDS FREDRICK ZOLLER IN A TIGHT, HANDSOME CLOSEUP.

The face on the silver screen breaks the young girl’s heart . . .

28

. . SHE LOOKS TO HIS BODY, LYING FACE DOWN ON THE FLOOR, BLOOD

flowing from the holes she put in his back . . .

29

. . HIS BODY MOVES A LITTLE, AND HE LETS OUT A PAINFUL MOAN . . .

30

. . DYING THOUGH HE IS, AT THIS MOMENT FREDRICK IS STILL

ALIVE . . .

Shosanna moves to him . . .

31

. . SHE TOUCHES HIM, AND HE LETS OUT ANOTHER MOAN . . .

32

. . SHE TURNS HIS BODY OVER ON ITS BACK . . .

33

. . HE’S HOLDING A LUGER IN HIS HAND . . .

34

. . HE FIRES TWICE . . .

BANG BANG
Two bullets HIT HER POINT BLANK IN THE CHEST . . .

THROWING HER against the wall, then FALLING FORWARD on her knees to the floor . . .

35

. . FREDRICK, LUGER STILL IN HAND, TAKES AIM FROM THE FLOOR . . .

36

. . FIRES . . .

HITTING the bloody girl on the floor, in the thigh . . .

37

. . SPINNING HER BODY AROUND IN AGONY . . .

Like he did to the Russian onscreen, he picks her apart, one bullet at a time . . .

38

. . FIRES . . .

A BULLET BLOWS OFF THE HEEL OF HER FOOT . . .

The Luger drops to floor. Fredrick DIES.

Our young French Jewish heroine lies on the projection booth floor in a pool of her own blood, her body RIDDLED with bullets, her nerve endings wracked with pain, CRIPPLED and DYING . . .

WHEN . . .

39

. . THE LITTLE BELL ON THE 1ST PROJECTOR STARTS TO RING,

informing the projectionist it’s time for the REEL CHANGE.

Dying or not, if Shosanna intends to get her revenge, she’s going to have to lift her ass off the floor and execute this fucking reel change.

CINEMA AUDITORIUM
The battle onscreen continues. The audience is riveted.

The FUHRER watches, completely caught up in the dramatic spectacle. He says to Goebbels in German:

HITLER
Extraordinary, Joseph, simply extraordinary. This is your finest film yet.

Goebbels is beyond proud. He smiles to Francesca, who proudly pats his hand.

PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna, bloody, crippled, and fucked, with great and painful effort, PULLS HERSELF OFF THE FLOOR . . .
AUDITORIUM
Hirschberg, sitting in his seat, SETS the BOMB on his ankle, then stands up and begins scooting past everybody in his row’s knees.
PROJECTION BOOTH
Like the German heroine in one of Riefenstahl’s mountain films, Shosanna CLIMBS UP the 35mm film projector, like it was Pitz Palu . . .
FILM ONSCREEN
Private Zoller FIRING away from his perch. In the top far- right corner of the FRAME, WE SEE the 1st REEL CHANGE MARK . . .
PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna hanging onto the projector, waiting for the 2nd reel change mark. It’s an agonizing effort . . .
BEHIND THE SCREEN
Marcel, smoking, waiting for his cue . . .
HIRSCHBERG
gets out of his row and begins walking up the aisle in the middle of the cinema toward the exit.
ONSCREEN
SERGIO LEONE CU FREDRICK. He SCREAMS to the Russians below:
MOVIE ZOLLER
Who wants to send a message to Germany?

In the top right of THE FRAME, the 2nd REEL CHANGE MARK POPS ON . .

40

PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna TOSSES herself to the floor, as she THROWS THE CHANGE-OVER SWITCH on the 2nd projector . . .
EX CU PROJECTOR BULB
BLASTING WHITE in our face.
SLOW MOTION
SHOSANNA FALLING . . .
EX CU 35MM FILM
MOVING . . .
SHOSANNA
HITS the DUSTY ground HARD, NOT in slow motion . . .
PROJECTOR BEAM
SHOOTS OUT OF THE LITTLE PROJECTION BOOTH WINDOW hits screen.
CU SHOSANNA
on the floor, eyes closed, last breath blown into the dusty projection booth floor. Like her family before here, dead from Nazi bullets.
AUDITORIUM
ON THE SILVER SCREEN FREDRICK’S EX CU

CUT TO

ON SILVER SCREEN MATCHING SHOSANNA EX CU CAMERA in the exact same placement, same background (B/W sky), SLIGHT LOW ANGLE LOOKING UP, so onscreen Shosanna is looking down on the Nazis, the way Fredrick was looking down on the Russians. The way this HUGE IMAGE OF SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE stares down the auditorium of Nazis brings to mind Orwells “1984” Big Brother.

HITLER and GOEBBELS React.

HIRSCHBERG
standing in the middle of the aisle, turns toward the screen. When he sees Shosanna’s GIANT FACE, he’s gobsmacked.
BEHIND SCREEN
Marcel sitting in the chair, with his cigarette, before the EVEN MORE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA

SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE ONSCREEN She stares down the packed house of Nazis and says in FRENCH:

SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE I have a message for Germany. I’m interrupting your Nazi propaganda horseshit to inform you dispicable German swine that you’re all going to die.

HITLER and GOEBBELS react.

HIRSCHBERG
reacts.
MARCEL
smiles.

SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE And I want you to look deep in the face of the Jew who’s going to do it.

AUDITORIUM AUDIENCE
While the shocked German audience is transfixed to the screen, behind the heads of most of them . . .

The BOMB Landa set in Hitler and Goebbels’s opera box . . .

EXPLODES.
BLOWING TO SMITHEREENS HITLER, FRANCESA, and BOORMANN, and propelling GOEBBELS, still in his theater seat, across the auditorium, into the opposite wall and taking out a portion of the ceiling as well.

The crowd reacts . . .

The explosion causes the huge chandelier from Versailles to topple from its jury-rigged placement and CRASH onto the audience below . . .

ONSCREEN THE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA finishes her WAR CRY.

SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE My name is Shosanna Dreyfus, and this is the face of Jewish vengeance! Marcel, BURN IT DOWN!

BEHIND THE SCREEN
Marcel takes his cigarette and FLICKS IT into the pile of nitrate film.

ONSCREEN SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE LAUGHS MANIACALLY at the scrambling little Nazis, running in a panic, as FLAMES LIKE OUT OF A GIANT BLAST FURNACE BURST THROUGH SHOSANNA’S FACE and CLIMB UP THE WALLS of the cinema.

The AUDIENCE STAMPEDES toward the exits . . .

HIRSCHBERG
with bomb set on ankle, is caught in a massive “Day of the Locust” SWARM OF BODIES . . .

People frantically pound on locked doors, trapping them to their grizzly fate.

The FLAMES and FIRE spread through the auditorium . . .

Hirschberg, caught in the people crunch, knows this is it.

HIS ANKLE BOMB GOES OFF right underneath everybody in the room.

The effect this has on the people in the room is very similar to that of the effect an M-80 blowing up in an ant hill would have on the ants. The auditorium is a literal red rain of legs, arms, heads, torsos, and asses.

THEN . . . ,

DONOWITZ’S TOILET BOMB BLOWS UP UNDERNEATH the auditorium.

COLLAPSING THE CINEMA AND BLOWING OUT THE FRONT OF THE THEATER.

As MADAME MIMEUX’S CINEMA BURNS . . .

These SUBTITLES APPEAR ONSCREEN as if on a military teletype:

“OPERATION KINO A COMPLETE SUCCESS.”

FADE OUT
FADE UP
“HITLER DEAD. GOEBBELS DEAD. BOORMANN DEAD. GOERING DEAD. ZOLLER DEAD. MOST OF HIGH COMMAND DEAD.”
FADE OUT
FADE IN

“FOUR DAYS LATER, GERMANY SURRENDERS.”

FADE OUT
FADE IN

“ONCE UPON A TIME IN NAZI . . . OCCUPIED FRANCE.”

CUT TO

EXT—WOODS—MORNING

It’s a misty early morning in a woodsy area. The German truck, with Aldo and Utivich in the back, and Landa and Herrman in the front, comes to a stop.

LANDA and HERRMAN IN THE TRUCK CAB Herrman, behind the wheel, tells Landa in German:

HERRMAN
These are the American lines, sir.

In the back of the truck sit the two last remaining members of the Basterds, Lt. Aldo Raine and Pfc. Smithson Utivich, both with their hands cuffed behind their backs.

Landa and Herrman appear at the truck rear. Landa says in ENGLISH:

COL. LANDA
Okay, gentlemen, you can climb down.

Aldo and Utivich climb down from the truck.

Col. Landa indicates for Herrman to remove the handcuffs from the two prisoners.

He does.

COL. LANDA
Herrman, hand them your weapon.

He does.

Col. Landa hands over his LUGER and his very-cool-looking S.S. DAGGER.

COL. LANDA
I am officially surrendering myself over to you, Lieutenant Raine. We are your prisoners.
LT. ALDO
Thank you very much, Colonel. Utivich, cuff the colonel’s hands behind his back.
COL. LANDA
Is that really necessary?

As Utivich cuffs the Colonel’s hands behind his back, Aldo says:

LT. ALDO
I’m a slave to appearances.

Then Aldo takes the Luger and SHOOTS HERRMAN DEAD.

The bound Col. Landa is appalled.

COL. LANDA
Are you mad? What have you done? I made a deal with your general for that man’s life!
LT. ALDO
Yeah, they made that deal, but they don’t give a fuck about him, they need you.
COL. LANDA
You’ll be shot for this.
LT. ALDO
Naw, I don’t think so, more like I’ll be chewed out. I’ve been chewed out before. You know, Utivich and myself heard that deal you made with the brass. End the war tonight? I’d make that deal. How ’bout you, Utivich, you make that deal?
UTIVICH
I’d make that deal.
LT. ALDO
I don’t blame ya. Damn good deal. And that pretty little nest ya feathered for yourself. Well, if you’re willing to barbecue the whole high command, I suppose that’s worth certain considerations. Now I don’t care about you gettin’ pensions, merit badges, ticker-tape parades, who gives a damn, let’s all go home. But I do have one question. When you go to your little place on Nantucket island, I imagine you gonna take off that handsome-looking S.S. uniform of yours, ain’t ya?

For the first time in the movie, Col. Landa doesn’t respond.

LT. ALDO
That’s what I thought. Now that . . . . . . I can’t abide. How bout you, Utivich, can you abide it?
UTIVICH
Not one damn bit, sir.
LT. ALDO
I mean if I had my way, you’d wear that goddamn uniform for the rest of our pecker-suckin’ life. But I’m aware that ain’t practical. I mean at some point ya gotta hafta take it off.

He opens Landa’s S.S. DAGGER and holds the blade in front of Hans’s face.

LT. ALDO
So I’m gonna give you a little somethin you can’t take off.
CU COL. LANDA
The dagger has just completed carving a swastika deep into his forehead.

COL. LANDA’S POV On the ground, looking up at Aldo, bloody knife in hand, who straddles him. And Utivich, who’s next to him. The two Basterds admire Aldo’s handiwork.

Aldo turns to Uitivich and says:

LT. ALDO
You know somethin’, Utivich? I think this just might be my masterpiece.

They ghoulishly giggle.

CUT TO

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED
BY QUENTIN TARANTINO