"HORRIBLE BOSSES" (2011)

HORRIBLE BOSSES

by

Michael Markowitz

Current revisions by

Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Daley

FADE IN:

Looking incredibly weary, NICK WATERS, 30’s, enters his apartment in his business suit. He stumbles into --

He drops his briefcase, strips off his jacket, loosens his tie and collapses onto the bed like a dead man. PAN OVER TO the alarm clock which reads “1:23 AM.”

The alarm clock now reads “4:59 AM.” It switches to “5:00” and a BLARING BUZZER goes off. Nick sits up in bed, shuts off the buzzer and painfully forces himself out of bed. He hurries out of the bedroom, passing the saddest, deadest houseplant in history.

Nick opens his fridge to reveal a wasteland of moldy leftover containers and crusty condiments. The orange juice container he grabs is empty.

He opens the freezer. It contains nothing but multiple boxes of “Jimmy Dean’s Breakfast Bowl -- with Bacon!” He pops one in the microwave, then glances over at a framed photo of a slightly younger Nick kissing a smiling OLD WOMAN on the cheek. The frame reads: “I Y Grandma!” Nick sighs sadly.

Nick sits on the toilet eating his breakfast bowl with a fork. He takes some toilet paper from the roll and wipes his mouth with it.

Nick showers while simultaneously brushing his teeth and shaving. He loses track and brushes his face with the toothbrush.

Nick hastily grabs work clothes from his messy drawers and closet. Clearly, no laundry has been done in a while.

Nick hurriedly buttons his shirt, tucks it in and begins tying his tie as the elevator reaches the lobby.

As he drives to work, he dials a number and transfers it to speakerphone.

She hangs up.

A soulless four-story building in a drab office park. Nick exits his car and runs full-speed to the entrance.

Nick bursts through the doors and looks at his watch. It reads “6:02.” He looks up at a security camera with a flashing red light, indicating he is on tape.

Nick sits at his desk inputting information from a large PILE of documents into a spreadsheet on his computer. The clock on his computer turns to “8:00 AM.”

Nick jumps, startled. He turns to see his boss, DAVE HARKEN, 40’s, standing behind him.

MOMENTS LATER

of the lobby security camera footage on a television. The time code at the bottom of the screen reads “6:02.” We see Nick looking up at the camera and silently mouthing the word “Fuck!” The image freezes and we PULL BACK to see Harken holding the remote. Nick stands across from him.

There’s an uncomfortable beat. Then --

Harken picks up the phone.

He glances at a framed photo on his desk.

of the hot, bikini-clad MRS. HARKEN, 30’s, standing on a beach.

15 BACK TO SCENE 15

Harken has crossed to a credenza with several bottles of booze, two glasses and an ice bucket. He begins to fill a glass with ice and Scotch.

Harken hands him the drink he just poured.

Harken returns to his chair and sits.

Nick gets up to go.

Nick turns back.

Nick, unsure of what to do, picks up the glass and gulps it down.

A car pulls up outside the modest building.

STACY, cute, 30’s, is dropping off DALE STEVENS, 30’s, who wears the scrubs of a dental hygienist.

18 CLOSE ON HER ENGAGEMENT DIAMOND 18

It’s tiny and yellowish.

19 BACK TO SCENE 19

They kiss. Dale exits the car.

Stacy drives off. Dale steels himself for what lies ahead, then goes inside.

Dale enters the waiting room, passing a few PATIENTS. He grabs a mask and goggles from a supply room, then heads into --

Dale finds his boss, DR. JULIA HARRIS, 30’s, sexy but with something a little off, hovering over a patient, MR. ANDERTON, 50’s. Dale seems visibly uneasy.

Dale turns the valve on the tank and soon Mr. Anderton’s eyes roll back in his head. Julia shuts the door, picks up a drill and begins boring into the patient’s molar.

Dale hands her a tool.

Dale sighs and looks down at the unconscious Mr. Anderton. This obviously isn’t the first time Julia has spoken this way.

He hands her the tool.

She lifts the patient’s limp hand and cups it over her breast.

She smacks the lifeless hand and cackles with laughter.

Dale hands her the Water Jet tool. Julia briefly sprays some water in the patient’s mouth, then casually sprays down Dale’s crotch with it.

Julia’s whole demeanor changes. She becomes deadly serious.

Mr. Anderton GROANS groggily.

Shaken, Dale hands her the tool.

A medium-sized warehouse building in an industrial neighborhood.

KURT GAMBLE, 30s, good-looking, sits at his desk. Unlike Nick and Dale, Kurt seems content in his workplace. A reasonably cute, but by no means drop-dead gorgeous, UPS GIRL approaches his desk with a package.

She considers this briefly, then scribbles her number on a Post-it note.

She heads off. Kurt opens his DATEBOOK and scribbles “UPS Girl” in the Tuesday slot. We see every night of the week is filled with appointments with other women: “Barnes & Noble girl,” “Lauren? Laura?,” “Blonde Chick” and so on.

Kurt looks up at JACK PELLIT, 70s, the kindly, affectionate owner of the company.

The two of them head toward the exit.

Kurt looks at his boss with admiration. There’s a lot of love between these two.

As they pass the unisex rest room, they see MARGIE, 30s and clearly pregnant, looking uncomfortable as she waits to get in.

After a long beat, the door opens and out steps BOBBY PELLIT, late-20s, weasely-looking, sniffing a bit too much and rubbing his nose repeatedly. There’s something unnaturally energetic about him.

Margie quickly slips into the rest room and shuts the door.

Kurt follows after Jack.

Jack and Kurt pass a receptionist desk and go out into --

Kurt walks Jack to his Cadillac.

He gives Kurt a hug like a doting father, then climbs into his car. As Jack pulls out and begins driving across the parking lot, Kurt waves. Suddenly, the car’s HORN begins to honk in a CONSTANT BLARE. Kurt lowers his hand as the car veers off the pavement, slowly cruising into a tree where it stops abruptly, the horn still honking.

A bewildered Kurt runs toward the car, as we --

Kurt sits at a table looking depressed.

PAN to reveal Kurt is sitting with Dale, who looks just as dejected.

PAN FURTHER to reveal Nick sitting beside Dale.

A SEMI-CUTE GIRL walks past.

Kurt groans as he pulls himself out of the booth.

Kurt heads off after the girl.

Nick sits alongside five other CO-WORKERS at a conference table. Harken’s chair at the head is empty. Nick pours himself some water from a glass pitcher on the table.

Nick jumps as Harken enters.

Nick’s eyes narrow. Suddenly, he grabs the heavy glass pitcher from the table and SHATTERS IT AGAINST HARKEN’S FACE. Shards of glass fly everywhere as Harken falls from his chair onto the floor.

28 SAME SCENE (REALITY) 28

Harken is fine. Nick is as we left him.

Nick’s CO-WORKERS bury their heads in their notes. Nick tensely raises his hand.

Harken nods. Is he impressed?

Nick glows.

Everyone turns to look at Nick.

Everyone’s head snaps back to Harken.

Harken heads out.

Nick hurries to catch up with Harken.

Harken gets directly in Nick’s face, speaking softly but intensely.

Harken slaps him hard on the back and continues on his way, leaving a stunned Nick.

Kurt somberly heads to his desk. He’s wearing a dark suit.

Kurt sees Bobby Pellit standing in the doorway of what was Jack’s office.

Kurt enters. He notices that the “Jack Pellit” nameplate has been partially taped over with the name “Bobby” scribbled in magic marker.

Kurt sits. Bobby quickly slips a small mirror and rolled up dollar bill into a drawer. Kurt sees Bobby has tossed most of Jack’s mementos, achievement awards and photos with luminaries in the trash.

Kurt’s eyes narrow. He reaches into the trash can and grabs one of Jack’s discarded ACHIEVEMENT TROPHIES and PLUNGES its pointy end deep into Pellit’s chest, impaling him in his chair.

32 SAME SCENE (REALITY) 32

Kurt sits across from an unharmed Pellit.

ANGLE ON Margie at her desk.

ANGLE ON a balding, middle-aged man in a wheelchair, HANK, who sits at a desk near Margie’s.

Kurt sighs as he looks from Margie to Hank and back. At last, he gathers his resolve and crosses to Hank’s desk. From a RESPECTFUL DISTANCE we watch as Kurt breaks the news to Hank who reacts with sad resignation.

Kurt turns to see Pellit standing directly beside him.

Pellit heads off. Hank glares at Kurt.

Hank wheels away, leaving Kurt to face the angry looks of his CO-WORKERS.

Dale, dressed for work, knocks on Julia’s office door.

Dale enters.

He looks up to find Julia sitting at her desk in nothing but an unbuttoned white lab coat.

He sits, then immediately stands again.

She leans back in her chair and puts her hands behind her head revealing even more of her body.

Julia stands and moves uncomfortably close to Dale. He tries not to stare at her breasts.

Startled, Dale hurries out of the office.

Nick, Dale and Kurt sit miserably over their drinks. They’ve all had a few.

Nick and Kurt turn to Dale.

In the b.g., a GUY has noticed them. He heads over.

The three guys exchange uncomfortable looks as they reach for their wallets.

They look skeptical. *

KENNY * I’m the opposite of gay! *

They guys look at each other with eyebrows raised. Nick * mouths “opposite.” *

KENNY * Come on. Handjobs for the Three * Musketeers. Let’s do this! *

The BARTENDER spots Kenny and points at him.

He hurries out. There’s a silent beat as the guys process what they’ve just witnessed.

The three guys are walking home, all mildly buzzed.

There’s a beat as Nick regards Kurt.

They continue walking. After a beat.

There’s another beat.

Nick begins to warm to the idea.

They reach the corner where they part ways.

Dale heads off.

OFF their ambivalent looks --

Dale is organizing some equipment when a pair of woman’s hands suddenly cover his eyes.

He turns and reacts as he sees it’s not Julia, but his fiancée, Stacy.

Julia appears in her office doorway.

Julia leads Stacy into the exam room. Dale cuts them off.

OFF Dale’s defeated look --

Stacy lies on the chair with the nitrous mask over her nose. Julia and Dale stand beside her.

And she’s out. Immediately, Julia pounces on Dale, feverishly trying to unbuckle his belt.

Stacy groans softly. Dale pushes Julia away.

Julia begins to clamber up onto Stacy’s supine body. Dale pulls her off.

He goes to turn off the gas but before he can --

Julia opens a nearby drawer and tosses an envelope onto Stacy’s chest.

Dale lunges at the envelope and pulls out the photos.

40 CLOSE ON THE PICTURES 40

-- Dale lies on the dentist chair, his eyes open and his hands behind his head with Julia at his crotch, apparently fellating him.

-- Julia, now nude, straddles Dale, who is naked from the waist down on the chair. She holds one arm in the air like a rodeo cowboy.

-- Julia is on the floor, her legs splayed while Dale lies limply on top of her.

-- Julia is on all fours. Dale is limply draped over her back, apparently doing her doggy-style.

41 BACK TO SCENE 41

She holds up the packet of photos.

Dale gapes at her, dumbstruck.

Kurt and Nick are playing a videogame as Dale bursts through the front door.

Nick and Kurt exchange a look.

They both turn to Nick who is uncertain. Kurt spots the photo of Nick with his GRANDMOTHER and grabs it off the wall.

Dale nods.

There’s a beat. Kurt’s eyes light up.

Kurt opens the door on Nick and Dale. The decor of Kurt’s place is best described as a middle-income bachelor pad.

He points to his computer. On the screen is a listing from --

Nick reads the listing.

The others hurry to look. From --

44 THEIR POV 44

We see a black Mercedes SLK pull up. A distinguished- looking MAN in a well-tailored suit steps out. He wears sunglasses and carries a briefcase.

45 BACK TO SCENE 45

A knock at the door.

Kurt opens the door on the Man who looks even smoother up close.

He walks to the middle of the living room, opens his briefcase and takes out a plastic tarp which he proceeds to unfurl over the carpet.

The guys exchange a confused look.

NICK/KURT What?!

The Man heads off. After a beat --

Kurt drives. Nick is in the passenger seat. Dale in back.

Kurt reaches up and pushes a button on the rear-view mirror. A male voice comes over the speaker.

Kurt and the others lock their doors.

Kurt’s car drives down a depressed-looking block.

The guys are still chatting with Gregory.

DALE/NICK Thank you, Gregory./Thanks, Gregory.

Kurt’s car pulls up on a grimy-looking South-Central street and stops in front of a dingy bar. The guys get out and look around warily.

The three guys enter the squalid, smoky place. The room is full of surly-looking PATRONS, none of them white. People turn to stare.

They each take a seat at the bar where a no-nonsense BARTENDER walks over to them.

An intense-looking GUY on the next stool notices them.

The three stand and head for the door.

The guys come out onto the sidewalk.

They turn to see COCKSUCKER JONES, 30s, the guy who was sitting next to them at the bar.

He gestures for them to follow him into the alley beside the bar. Kurt and Nick move to follow.

Cocksucker Jones leans in to the three guys.

They turn to go, when Dale turns back.

Cocksucker glares at him.

Kurt grabs Dale by the shoulder and hustles him to the car.

53 SERIES OF SHOTS 53

MUSIC CUE: Frank Sinatra’s “(Forget Your Troubles, Come On) Get Happy”

-- Dale, Kurt and Nick each take a turn at an ATM machine, withdrawing the maximum amount they can.

-- Nick at his desk at work. He looks over his cubicle wall and his eyes narrow as he sees Harken directing a WORKMAN who stencils the words “Senior Vice President of Sales” below where it already says “President.” Another WORKMAN uses a sledgehammer on the wall of the office. Nick grins malevolently.

-- Kurt is at his desk in the chemical company. He looks up to see Bobby Pellit open his office door and lead out two obvious HOOKERS. Pellit has white powder around his nostrils. He spots Kurt watching him and he sneers back. Kurt smiles devilishly.

-- CLOSE ON Dale as he places tooth X-rays into plastic contact sheets. PULL BACK to reveal Julia is licking his neck while tweaking his nipples through his scrubs. In contrast to earlier, Dale appears to be unfazed and almost amused by Julia’s antics.

Cocksucker Jones holds an open briefcase that’s empty but for a single stack of taped together 20-dollar bills.

Cocksucker pulls back the lower edge of his jacket to reveal what appears to be the holster of a gun.

The guys all AD LIB “no’s.”

Nick is poring over a stack of documents when his phone rings.

INTERCUT WITH:

Kurt and Dale wait in the car outside of Nick’s office.

He hangs up then peers over his cubicle wall to see Harken talking to another EMPLOYEE nearby. Nick takes a breath, leans over his garbage pail and sticks a Commtronix pen down his throat. At the sound of Nick’s loud WRETCHING, Harken looks over to see him puking into the trash pail.

Nick wipes his mouth and turns pathetically back to his desk.

Nick grabs his jacket and moves to go.

Nick barely conceals his contempt as he picks up the stack of papers and heads out.

Kurt’s car pulls up slowly and parks. Kurt, Dale and Nick slump down in their seats.

They watch the house with steely determination.

The guys are bored out of their minds, barely awake. Dale nibbles on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a plastic bag.

A long, silent pause as they watch the house...

They exchange looks.

They get out of the car. Dale pockets his sandwich.

The three guys creep around Pellit’s patio, peeking in doors and windows. Finally:

Kurt is about to try a window when Dale stops him.

Kurt pulls his shirt sleeves down over his hands. Dale does the same. Nick, who wears a T-shirt, tucks his hands inside the bottom of the shirt. With some difficulty, Kurt slides open the window.

The three of them manage to wriggle through the window. It’s not graceful: Dale’s foot gets caught on the sill, causing him to tumble on top of Nick and Kurt. At last, all three are inside.

They take in Pellit’s living room. There’s a leather sofa, a 60-inch plasma and enormous speakers. On the wall are framed Ed Hardy posters depicting dragons and half-naked girls.

Kurt heads upstairs while Dale and Nick look around the living room.

Nick looks over to see Dale holding in his sleeve-covered hands an open wooden box filled with white powder.

Suddenly, the box slips out of Dale’s hands. It hits the floor, sending a cascade of cocaine all over the rug.

He kneels and begins trying to scoop up the coke in his hands. It’s an impossible task.

Kurt looks around the room. He doesn’t see anything useful so he heads into --

He flips on the light. His eyes land on Pellit’s toothbrush. He grins slyly.

Dale is still on his knees, scooping up coke, as Nick returns from the kitchen cradling a Dustbuster in his T- shirt.

Struggling with his hands in his T-shirt, Nick vacuums up the cocaine from the rug. When he’s finished, he pops open the vacuum’s waste receptacle and dumps the contents back in the wooden box.

65 CLOSE ON THE BOX 65

Which is now filled not only with cocaine, but bits of hair, dust bunnies, food and other crap.

66 BACK TO SCENE 66

Just BELOW FRAME, Kurt removes Pellit’s toothbrush from his ass and returns it to its holder, careful to keep his hands covered with his sleeves.

He’s about to go when he notices a bar of Neutrogena face soap beside the sink. He looks around deviously.

Dale and Nick are doing their best to pick the crap out of Pellit’s cocaine.

Kurt comes down the stairs.

Kurt pulls away from the curb.

He pulls a BlackBerry out of his pocket.

Nick emerges from the store with a plastic bag and gets into Kurt’s car.

Nick holds up a box of latex gloves.

They drive for a beat. Then --

A two-story house with a tidy yard. Kurt’s car pulls up.

Kurt and Nick begin pulling on their gloves.

Nick and Kurt get out of the car. After a beat, Dale remembers his sandwich and pulls it out of his pocket.

Kurt and Nick sneak up to the front porch which is camouflaged by shrubs. They peek inside.

Kurt tries the windows. They’re locked.

Kurt looks around and spots a small rock beside the porch. He picks it up and winds back to throw it at the window.

But it’s too late. Kurt has released the rock. It HITS the window, but instead of breaking the glass, the rock itself BREAKS into two pieces.

Nick shows Kurt a key concealed in one half of the fake rock. He grabs it and inserts it into the front door lock.

The guys tiptoe in, whispering and tense. The place is tastefully decorated with attractive furniture and modern art. There is a vase of flowers on a table.

A CAT springs out of nowhere, startling them, then runs off.

They head up.

Dale is finishing the last of his peanut butter sandwich. He checks the rearview mirror. No sign of anyone.

Just as Kurt and Nick enter, the cat suddenly jumps out from behind the door, startling them again.

Kurt notices a framed wedding photo on the dresser of Harken and Mrs. Harken.

Yet again, Kurt and Nick jump as the cat LEAPS out of hiding with a YOWL then runs off.

Dale plays a bowling game on his cell phone.

A breeze blows through the open windows of the car, catching the plastic bag from Dale’s sandwich and carrying it out the window.

Just then, Harken, in running attire, comes jogging up the street. His eye is caught by the plastic bag falling from the car window onto the street. He stops and angrily picks up the bag.

Dale, surprised, turns to the window.

Suddenly, Harken begins to choke and his face grows increasingly red.

With one hand Harken grabs his throat and with the other he looks at the plastic bag he’s holding.

Harken collapses to his knees. His face is turning blue now. Dale quickly steps out of the car.

Harken yanks up the right leg of his jogging pants revealing an EPI-PEN strapped to his ankle. He reaches for it, but Dale moves faster.

Harken nods urgently as his eyes begin to roll back.

Dale takes the cap off the epi-pen, raises his arm and jams the needle into Harken’s chest. Harken lets out a grunt.

Dale raises his arm again.

Nick continues to search around the bedroom. Kurt is by the window.

Nick joins him at the window and they both react as they see what appears to be Dale repeatedly STABBING Harken in the chest, neck and arms. Harken lies motionless on the sidewalk.

As they hurry to leave the room, Kurt stumbles over the CAT which has appeared yet again. Unseen by either of them, PELLIT’S BLACKBERRY SLIPS out of his pocket and lands on the floor at the foot of Harken’s bed.

As Dale kneels over Harken to check his breathing, a car pulls up alongside and MRS. HARKEN steps out. Seeing her husband on the ground, she rushes over.

Mrs. Harken kneels beside Harken and supports his head.

Harken groggily looks down at his torso which is perforated by dozens of tiny needle marks.

She grabs Dale in a warm hug.

Still a bit woozy, Harken gets to his feet and points at Dale.

As Harken and his wife continue to bicker, Dale quietly retreats to Kurt’s car.

Nick and Kurt pace nervously.

Dale enters.

Kurt and Nick digest this for a beat.

They consider this for a beat.

OFF Dale’s confusion and Nick’s annoyance --

Nick sits in his parked car watching the house through binoculars.

Through an upstairs window, he sees Pellit enter his bedroom. Nick checks his coat pocket and confirms it contains a Home Depot bag with rat poison inside. Nick dials his cell phone.

INTERCUT WITH:

Kurt sits in his car, reading Maximmagazine. Julia’s car pulls up. She gets out, goes to the trunk, opens it, then bends down to get a bag of groceries. Nick watches her ass appreciatively as she does and keeps watching as she heads into her building.

SFX: His cell phone rings.

Dale’s car is parked.

Dale watches the movie Precious on his laptop. He glances over to see Harken turn on the light in his bedroom. On the seat beside Dale, we see a large jar of Planters peanuts.

Harken looks around suspiciously, then goes to Mrs. Harken’s closet. He opens it and begins looking through her clothing. He sniffs one of her dresses and his eyes narrow. He sniffs himself, then compares it to the smell of the dress. Unsatisfied, he continues searching around the room for any incriminating evidence. Suddenly, his foot comes in contact with something on the floor. He reaches down and picks up...

PELLIT’S BLACKBERRY.

He turns it on and scrolls down the contacts list to “HOME” which shows Bobby Pellit’s name and address. Harken’s face turns beet red.

Dale ducks down as he sees Harken’s garage door opening. Harken’s Porsche 911 pulls out and zooms up the street. Still scooched down, Dale dials his phone.

Nick watches Pellit performing a series of sweaty KUNG FU MOVES in a full-length mirror.

CELL PHONE RINGS.

Nick answers.

Dale flips on the light and enters clutching the peanut jar in his gloved hands. He slides open the shower curtain and Harken’s CAT LEAPS OUT at him.

He regains his composure and finds a bottle of men’s shampoo. As he nervously removes the cap from the shampoo and the lid from the peanuts, he notices that MR. PEANUT is STARING right at him. Despite his jaunty top hat and little monocle, there is something almost accusing in his look. Dale stares back at Mr. Peanut as we see his resolve soften.

Nick watches as Pellit finally gets into bed and turns off his bedside lamp.

Nick reaches for the door handle as --

SFX: Nick’s cell phone rings. Nick jumps, then answers the phone.

INTERCUT WITH:

Lights appear in Nick’s rearview mirror.

Harken’s Porsche pulls up and stops just behind Nick’s car. Harken gets out and heads toward Pellit’s front door.

Suddenly, Nick looks up to see HARKEN knocking on Pellit’s door. In the bedroom, Pellit’s light goes on.

Looking irritated, Pellit answers the door. Before he can get a word out...

... Harken removes a gun from his pocket and SHOOTS Pellit twice in the chest.

Nick reacts, slumping down in his seat, horrified.

With shaking hands, Nick reaches for his ignition but knocks the car keys out. They fall onto the floor of the car.

As Nick bends down to find his keys, Harken’s shadow looms over him. Nick cowers just out of sight.

Harken looks around. Did he hear something? No. He calmly but briskly walks away from Nick’s car, gets into his own and speeds off.

Nick ZOOMS away from the curb.

Nick’s car SPEEDS through a red light at an intersection. A TRAFFIC CAMERA FLASHES as it snaps Nick’s photo and license plate.

With trembling hands, Nick and Dale take deep gulps of their drinks. Kurt hurries in, looking disheveled. The ensuing conversation is conducted in tense whispers.

Kurt softens.

Nick and Dale turn to him, quizzically.

Kurt realizes what he said.

Kurt lowers his head.

Kurt’s car is parked across the street.

Kurt watches through her bedroom window as Julia undresses sexily.

As Julia removes her bra, we see Kurt’s face pressed against his car window, his breath fogging it up.

Julia enters her bedroom with a tray of food. She wears a skimpy kimono-style robe. She sits on her bed and unwraps a Popsicle.

We see Julia eat the Popsicle as suggestively as humanly possible. Then she picks up a banana and peels it.

Julia eases the whole banana into her mouth. Then she picks up a hot dog.

Julia opens her front door, stares straight at Kurt and beckons him inside with one finger. She walks back inside, leaving the door wide open.

Kurt opens his car door so quickly he tumbles out headfirst, planting his face on the street. He jumps up, but one ankle is tangled in the seatbelt. He finally extricates himself and hurries to the house as fast as he can.

Nick, Kurt and Dale emerge from the bar.

The three of them climb into Nick’s car.

Before Nick can even pull out of his parking spot, they hear the WHOOP of a police siren and see the flashing lights of a SQUAD CAR behind them. The guys’ faces go white.

Nick unrolls his window as one COP approaches his side and his PARTNER comes up on the other.

Nick glares at Kurt as the cops head back to their car.

Kurt, Nick and Dale sit in a waiting area looking equal parts terrified and pissed at each other. Throughout the following, they speak in hushed voices.

Just then, a burly detective, HAGAN, appears behind them.

The guys glare angrily at each other as they follow Hagan.

Nick, Dale and Kurt sit on metal chairs across a table from Hagan and his equally burly partner, SAMSON. Hagan slides a PHOTO across the table to Nick.

109 CLOSE ON A BLACK AND WHITE IMAGE OF NICK 109

taken by the traffic camera. His terrified face is clear, as is the time stamp at the bottom.

110 BACK TO SCENE 110

Nick looks at him, pissed.

Both Dale and Nick shoot daggers at him.

A beat.

Now it’s Kurt and Nick who look nervous. Is Dale about to crack?

Samson looks to Hagan who grimaces.

Dale nervously stands up, half expecting to be hit.

Kurt and Nick, impressed and relieved, stand and head out.

The three guys head for the exit.

The guys turn to see Samson holding out a traffic citation.

We HOLD ON Kurt’s face and --

Kurt pulls Pellit’s toothbrush out of his butt and returns it to its holder.

113 BACK TO SCENE (PRESENT) 113

Kurt suddenly looks nauseous.

Kurt drives, Nick is in front and Dale in back.

OFF their looks --

Cocksucker Jones looks up from his bar stool, surprised to see Nick, Kurt and Dale.

Cocksucker’s eyes go wide.

As Nick puts down a few bills on the bar, Dale leans in to Kurt.

There’s a beat.

NICK/KURT No.

He pulls back his jacket to reveal the holster we saw earlier.

He pulls the phone out and shows them.

The three of them turn to go.

Hagan and Samson pull up in their car and get out.

The detectives enter to find a CRIME TECH leaning over his computer.

Kurt’s car pulls up with the lights off and parks.

Kurt is at the wheel, Nick sits shotgun, Dale in back.

Dale pulls out a mini-tape recorder and hands it to Nick along with a roll of surgical tape.

Nick gives Kurt the recorder and Kurt tapes it to his chest then lowers his shirt.

The guys tiptoe onto the porch, peeking in the windows. Nick tries the front door... and it swings open. They look at each other, then quietly head inside.

The LIGHTS suddenly come on.

There are 20 or 30 PARTYGOERS in the house which is decorated for a birthday party. The guys stand dumbstruck. The revelry peters out as the guests realize there are three strangers at the door. Mrs. Harken steps up.

Before Nick can answer a GUEST at the window calls out.

GUEST #1 His car just turned the corner!

GUEST #2 Someone get the lights!

As everyone scurries to hide, Kurt finds himself pressed up against Mrs. Harken, beside the sofa. He checks her out.

We see Mrs. Harken is intrigued. Just then, the front door opens and Harken enters. The lights come on.

A jittery Harken nearly jumps out of his skin as the crowd starts singing “Happy Birthday.” Mrs. Harken takes Harken’s arm.

He heads off to his study, leaving his confused wife. She notices Kurt, standing at the buffet, staring at her. He smiles and winks. Mrs. Harken gives him a little wave.

122 ANGLE ON NICK, KURT AND DALE 122

The three of them head toward the study.

Just as Nick and Dale enter, Harken looks up and sees them.

Nick tries his best to suppress his nervousness and be cool and threatening.

Nick winces. So close.

Nick and Harken turn to Dale.

He freezes as he sees for the first time that Kurt didn’t accompany them into the study. It’s just him and Dale. Nick looks around, panicked.

Harken has crossed to a drawer and taken out a small safe. He begins turning the combination lock.

Nick and Dale exchange a look, then quickly rush out of the room.

looking thoroughly freaked out, Nick and Dale push their way through the partygoers.

Just then, the door to a guest bathroom opens and Kurt emerges, buckling his belt and looking strangely red in the face.

Suddenly, the bathroom door opens again and out steps Mrs. Harken, also looking disheveled. She adjusts her dress then rejoins the party.

Overcome with rage, Nick PUNCHES Kurt in the arm then rushes to the door. Dale and Kurt hurry after him.

125 ANGLE ON HARKEN 125

seeing them go. With a grim look, he calmly heads to the garage.

Nick sits steaming mad as Kurt drives. Dan fiddles with the tape recorder in the back.

From the back seat, we hear from the tape recorder:

We hear unbuckling and unzipping.

Kurt shrugs. We hear some WET, SMACKING SOUNDS.

A short distance behind a car is following Kurt’s. As it comes closer we see it’s a Porsche. And it’s driven by a determined-looking Harken.

Kurt’s car turns the corner and stops short.

From the guys’ POV we see an unmarked car and a police squad car parked outside of Kurt’s place. Hagan and Samson stand with two UNIFORMED OFFICERS.

Kurt quickly does a U-turn and ZOOMS off in the direction they came, inadvertently SPEEDING through a red light. We see a traffic camera FLASH.

clearly showing the three guys, their faces distorted with panic.

SFX: Dale’s cell phone rings.

INTERCUT WITH:

Julia lies in a bubble bath, a glass of wine on the edge of the tub.

Kurt reacts at hearing it’s Julia. He makes an “I’m not here” gesture.

He points out the back window and the guys react as they see Harken driving directly on their tail.

Despite the danger, Kurt and Nick turn curiously to look at Dale.

Just then, Harken speeds up and SLAMS into the tail of Kurt’s car. Kurt struggles to stay on the road.

BANG! Harken again HITS Kurt’s car from behind. A tail light shatters.

Kurt and Nick exchange a baffled look.

Julia hangs up. Dale looks like he’s been violated.

The three of them JUMP, startled by the sudden voice in the car with them.

Kurt looks in the rearview mirror and sees Harken is still behind them. As his car reaches an intersection, Kurt swerves at the last second and takes a hard left. Harken overshoots the turn.

Suddenly, Kurt’s engine dies and the car comes to a gradual stop.

There’s a sound of screeching tires and Harken’s Porsche ZOOMS up behind them.

Harken’s car PLOWS into the rear of Kurt’s, forcing it into the back of a parked car. Even if the engine was working, there’d be nowhere to go now.

Dazed from the impact, the guys look back to see Harken slowly approaching on foot, holding a gun in his hand.

Harken taps on Kurt’s window with the barrel of the gun. Kurt lowers the window.

The three guys nervously exit the car and face Harken who points the gun at them.

Police sirens approaching.

Harken turns the gun toward his own thigh and FIRES.

As his leg bleeds, Harken wipes the gun off with his shirt, then suddenly tosses it to Dale.

Startled, Dale catches the pistol with shaking hands.

Down the street, two squad cars turn the corner and speed toward them. Dale looks down at the gun in his hand and drops it.

Nick deflates. The three guys realize Harken’s won. Then, from the car’s open window they hear:

Kurt, Nick and Dale exchange a look of shock and relief.

Harken’s face falls. He looks around nervously as the police cars come to a halt.

And with that, Harken BOLTS AWAY as fast as his injured leg will take him. It’s not very fast. The guys watch him for a beat as they share a joyful, exhausted moment together.

Nick sprints off after his hobbling boss and in SLOW MOTION, violently TACKLES Harken to the pavement. Harken goes down hard, his face SLAMMING against the asphalt.

As the COPS hurry toward them, Nick kneels on the back of Harken’s neck, pinning him.

Kurt steps up and kneels beside the battered figure.

Harken struggles wildly but he’s helpless.

CUT TO BLACK.

FADE IN:

SUPERIMPOSE: ONE WEEK LATER

The sun is shining. Birds are chirping. It’s a bright, new day as Kurt heads into the building.

Kurt enters and looks over at what was Pellit’s office. He smiles when he sees Margie, the pregnant employee, now running the company. He heads over.

Kurt knocks on the doorframe and enters.

Kurt pats her belly. Margie now looks genuinely pissed off.

He falls silent under Margie’s death stare.

Kurt opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it. He stands up and slumps out. Life as he knew it at Pellit Chemicals is clearly over.

Julia enters to find Dale waiting for her. A PATIENT lies asleep in the chair, his face obscured by the nitrous mask.

Julia quickly undoes the patient’s belt and yanks his pants down.

Julia begins handling the patient’s implied genitals which are obscured by a tray of tools.

Suddenly, the patient bursts out LAUGHING and sits up.

The patient pulls off his nitrous mask to reveal it’s KENNY, the guys’ former classmate from the bar.

Dale points to the window where Julia sees COCKSUCKER JONES outside holding up a video camera. He waves to her.

With a bounce in his step, Dale strides out of the room. There’s an awkward beat with Kenny and Julia.

Kenny scampers out, pulling up his pants as he goes.

Nick is in his new office as a young employee, CARTER, 20’s, pops his head in.

Carter’s eyes narrow. All at once, he rushes at Nick, grabs him by the throat and HURLS him THROUGH THE PLATE GLASS WINDOW, shattering it.

Nick plummets forty feet and lands with a SICKENING CRUNCH directly onto his own car. Just behind him we see a parking plaque that reads “Nick Waters, Senior VP of Sales.”

141 SAME SCENE (REALITY) 141

Carter stands opposite Nick as before.

Nick smiles and closes the door behind Carter. He settles into his comfy chair and puts his feet up on the desk.

CUT TO BLACK.

THIS SCRIPT WAS PREPARED

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SCRIPT PROCESSING DEPARTMENT

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