Thank you Captain Lassard. Chief Stevenson, Mr. Mayor, Mr. President, his Holiness the Pope, the king of Norway, and our other honored guests ... Penis envy! Just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. Seriously, as we, the cadet class, go out into the world to join our brothers and sisters in law enforcement, it is appropriate to ask ourselves the question: what is a cop? Is he or she the "law," the fuzz, the man, a copper, a pig, a bobbie, gendarme, a cossack, KGB, a reptile, vermin, dork brain or mole- face? Is he the man in blue or tan or white or pretty shade of salmon, the hero who saved your drowning sister, grabbed the guy who stole your stereo, found your sister lost in the woods, helped your Aunt Lucille with her groceries, told you how to get to Elm Street, chased the man who scared your sister when she was babysitting and stayed with her till she fell asleep? Or maybe he's the bum who busted your brother for one lousy joint, gave you a ticket for parking in a loading zone, flashed a light in your face for being naked with your sister in your dad's car. What is a cop? Friend or foe, superman or bozo? Republican or Communist? Well, he's all these things and many more ... But most of all, when you put it all together, cops are just people trying to do their jobs ... Thank you, you're beautiful.
Police Academy (1984)
NAHONEY
A screenplay character in Police Academy (1984).
- lines
- 1
- words
- 250
- scenes
- 1
- dialogue
- 3.5%
- avg words / line
- 250
Sample dialogue
Thank you Captain Lassard. Chief Stevenson, Mr. Mayor, Mr. President, his Holiness the Pope, the king of Norway, and our other honored guests ... Penis envy! Just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. Seriously, as we, the cadet class, go out into the world to join our brothers and sisters in law enforcement, it is appropriate to ask ourselves the question: what is a cop? Is he or she the "law," the fuzz, the man, a copper, a pig, a bobbie, gendarme, a cossack, KGB, a reptile, vermin, dork brain or mole- face? Is he the man in blue or tan or white or pretty shade of salmon, the hero who saved your drowning sister, grabbed the guy who stole your stereo, found your sister lost in the woods, helped your Aunt Lucille with her groceries, told you how to get to Elm Street, chased the man who scared your sister when she was babysitting and stayed with her till she fell asleep? Or maybe he's the bum who busted your brother for one lousy joint, gave you a ticket for parking in a loading zone, flashed a light in your face for being naked with your sister in your dad's car. What is a cop? Friend or foe, superman or bozo? Republican or Communist? Well, he's all these things and many more ... But most of all, when you put it all together, cops are just people trying to do their jobs ... Thank you, you're beautiful.
scene 158 — EXT. ACADEMY TRACK