ON ROZZUM 7134, a RATTLING from her interior. She removes
the egg. Examines it.
‘CRACK’ - the egg has a HAIRLINE RUPTURE.
Rozzum 7134 gently PINCHES the shell to close it up. More
cracks form. Rozzum 7134 FRANTICALLY tries to hold it all
together. For a moment, it works.
The egg EXPLODES. A tiny gosling sits in Rozzum 7134’s
palm.
GOSLING
Peep?
The new gosling LOOKS UP, into Rozzum 7134’s glowing blue
eyes. Something wordlessly passes between them. The
gosling places his forehead against Rozzum 7134. Her
subsurface lights GLOW powerfully.
The magic moment is interrupted when 7134 callously
PLUCKS UP the gosling, sets it back on the ground.
ROZZUM 7134
Was this task accomplished to your satisfaction?
The gosling SCREAMS. FLASH. Rozzum 7134 STICKS a sticker
to his chest.
ROZZUM 7134 (CONT’D)
On a scale of one to ten where ten is most satisfied and one is least, how would you rate my performance?
GOSLING
Peep.
Rozzum 7134 hands the gosling a sticker.
ROZZUM 7134
I will register that as a ‘ten’.
Rozzum 7134 attempts to activate her transmitter.
ROZZUM 7134 (CONT’D)
Returning to factory.
The transmitter BLINKS, unstable.
ROZZUM 7134 (CONT’D)
Signal strength weak. Seeking higher ground.
Rozzum 7134 STRIDES AWAY.
GOSLING
*peep peep peep*
The gosling RACES after her. For every step Rozzum 7134
takes, the gosling must dash thirty or more.
ROZZUM 7134
Do you require shelter?
Rozzum 7134 covers the gosling with a piece of wood. As
she walks, the wood TRAILS behind 7134.
Rozzum 7134 STRIDES into the forest. The gosling HOPS
onto her foot, riding along. Roz stops, a DING! Her
center compartment opens.
ROZZUM 7134 (CONT’D)
Perhaps tips for planning your next vacation?
She sets a travel pamphlet on the ground: FLORIDA - MORE
SHORELINE THAN EVER - and continues on her way. The
gosling FALLS DOWN A HOLE. Moments later, the gosling
TODDLES out onto a branch beside Rozzum 7134, HOPPING
ONTO her shoulder. The gosling SNUGGLES under Rozzum
7134’s chin.
ROZZUM 7134 (CONT’D)
I do not understand this response.
Rozzum 7134’s transmitter lights up.
ROZZUM 7134 (CONT’D)
Signal acquired. Three, two, one--
The gosling PECKS the transmitter. BREAKS it.
BABY OPOSSUM 1(OS)
Mom, I don’t feel good.
SQ1000 - THE TASK
A rustling in the brush. Roz INVESTIGATES, sees a opossum mother, PINKTAIL, with four baby opossums on her back.
BABY OPOSSUM 1
If I barf, I’m taking you all with me.
BABY OPOSSUM 2
Mom told you not to eat grasshoppers, dummy.
BABY OPOSSUM 3
Petunia’s been in front all day.
BABY OPOSSUM 4
The prettiest opossum always rides in front.
BABY OPOSSUM 3
Try being pretty with my tail jammed in your eye.
Rozzum 7134’s hand SETS the gosling on the back of
Pinktail.
BABY OPOSSUMS
(blood-curdling)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK.
Pinktail STANDS, SPILLING the babies.
PINKTAIL
Bartlett, stop jamming your tail in your sister’s eye.
BABY OPOSSUM 4
I’m Rowan. Bartlett was last litter.
PINKTAIL
Are you sure? Who are all of you? Go away.
BABY OPOSSUM 4
We’re your children. Except for him.
GOSLING
*Peep*
Pinktail is astonished to see her brood has grown by one.
PINKTAIL
This is what I get for taking a walk. Where’s your mommy, little guy?
Pinktail notices Roz PEERING at them.
PINKTAIL (CONT’D)
The monster. AAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHH.
Pinktail and the babies KEEL OVER.
BABY OPOSSUM 5
(dramatic)
*cough cough*
BABY OPOSSUM 4
(whisper)
You gotta die faster.
BABY OPOSSUM 5
Meningitis takes a while.
BABY OPOSSUM 6
What did you pick?
BABY OPOSSUM 7
Rabies.
BABY OPOSSUM 8
Spontaneous combustion!
BABY OPOSSUM 4
Nightshade salad.
BABY OPOSSUM 9
Sepsis.
BABY OPOSSUMS
Hey! I picked sepsis!
PINKTAIL
None of you are doing it right. We talked about this. Dead things don’t have to explain why they’re dead. Now we’re gonna get killed for real.
BABY OPOSSUMS
(together)
Sorry mom.
BABY OPOSSUM
(a beat late)
Sorry.
Beat.
BABY OPOSSUM 4
Why aren’t we killed yet?
PINKTAIL
Good question.
Pinktail parts the foliage to investigate. Roz has rolled
away. The gosling scampers up and PERCHES on Rozzum
7134’s shoulder. The sight emboldens Pinktail to crawl up
to investigate.
BABY OPOSSUM 2
Nice knowing you, mom.
PINKTAIL
(to the gosling)
Alright, it’s ok. It’s ok.
Pinktail PEERS into Rozzum 7134’s body cavity.
PINKTAIL (CONT’D)
Uh, hey. You in there? I’m Pinktail.
Rozzum 7134’s head partially emerges from her body.
PINKTAIL (CONT’D)
Ok. Hello. This gosling is yours?
BABY OPOSSUM 3
Wow.
Rozzum 7134 hands the gosling back to Pinktail.
ROZZUM 7134
Negative. That gosling stalks me, emits noise, and makes simple tasks more complicated or impossible.
PINKTAIL
Yeah, they do that. Goslings imprint on the first thing they see. Which would be you.
BABY OPOSSUM 6
Congratulations.
PINKTAIL
As far as he’s concerned, you’re his mother now.
ROZZUM 7134
I do not have the programming to be a mother.
Rozzum 7134 walks away.
BABY OPOSSUMS (O.S.)
It’s gonna squish us!
Pinktail ambushes her, DROPPING down from a branch.
PINKTAIL
No one does. We just make it up.
ROZZUM 7134
Without an assigned task, my next priority is to return to factory.
PINKTAIL
Taking care of him is your task now.
Pinktail said the magic word: TASK. A CHIME sounds. MUSIC
PLAYS. Tracer lights activate:
ROZZUM 7134
Task acquired. Return mode delayed. A Rozzum always completes its task.
As Pinktail talks, her babies BITE, CHEW, and FIGHT with
each other. The mother opossum uses her prehensile tail
to separate them, smack them, etc.
PINKTAIL
You’re lucky you just have one. As a mother of seven--
BABY OPOSSUM (O.S.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHH.
PINKTAIL
...Six babies, it’s a full time thing.
She picks up one of the babies.
PINKTAIL (CONT’D)
But it’s not all bad.
The baby BARFS up a hairball.
PINKTAIL (CONT’D)
Just mostly bad.
ROZZUM 7134
Do you have any information on how to take care of this unit?
PINKTAIL
They all need to eat. But yours needs to swim, and fly. Fly by fall. He’s gotta leave this island before winter, or, how do I put this delicately?
BABY OPOSSUMS
Aaaaaaaughhhhh.
The opossum babies all FEIGN GRISLY DEATH.
PINKTAIL
Yeah. That.
ROZZUM 7134
Eat. Swim. Fly by fall. Or aaaaugh.
PINKTAIL
Patience is the key.
A CHEWED UP baby appears.
BABY OPOSSUM 4
It’s okay mom, I’m alive.
PINKTAIL (O.S.)
(flat)
Oh. Yay. Well, good luck.
Babies CLIMB ONTO Pinktail’s back. Pinktail walks away.
BABY OPOSSUMS
Goodbye. We like your new baby. Hope it doesn’t die.
SQ1100 - THE HUNGRY GOSLING