"TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE" (2004)

TITLE: Paris - 3,712 miles east of America.

In a lovely, cliché Parisian setting, the Eiffel Tower looms in the background as people enjoy the cafes, markets and old buildings of a quaint square.

Now at the Eiffel Tower itself, we see many French people and tourists milling about enjoying the lovely day as QUAINT, happy FRENCH MUSIC plays. A very happy French Family consisting of MAMA, PAPA and little eight year old JEAN-FRANCIOS happily stroll in front of the tower. Jean-Francois holds a balloon and stares up at the tower's height.

Now the music turns OMINOUS, as Four Middle Eastern TERRORISTS walk into frame. One of the them is holding a suitcase bomb which blinks with a red light.

But Jean Francois father is busy watching the terrorists... They look at each other and the one holding the suitcase walks over to the tower's leg, and sets the suitcase down.

The terrorists all then nod to each other and in a flash - they pull out M-16s!

Everyone runs and screams but the terrorists point their guns and pull out the handheld bomb trigger.

Now the trapped people up on the Eiffel Tower scream as they realize their peril.

The French mother holds Jean Francois close to her bosom.

More screaming as French people all hold on to each other and cry.

The terrorist holds up the trigger... He threatens to push it --

But then, a huge helicopter/jet hybrid swoops down from the sky. It is like a giant Blackhawk, painted in garish red, white and blue with 'TEAM AMERICA' printed in huge letters on the side.

TRIUMPHANT, PATRIOTIC MUSIC plays as the h

Elicopter hovers, then ropes drop out to the ground and THREE TEAM AMERICA MEMBERS start to slide down, with guns a blazing.

Team America member JOE (20s, the clean-cut, blonde, leader type) is the first one to shout from the rope-

The terrorist's eyes get wide with fear. One of them points his gun at Joe and is about to shoot when-

The music becomes triumphant as Joe pulls the trigger on his M-16 and blows the terrorist to bloody pieces.

Team member CHRIS (30s, the skeptic, naysayer always wearing sunglasses) is the next one down.

Chris fires his gun at two of the terrorists who are shooting at them. The bullets chase up along the pavement, and then finally reach the evil doers and kill them violently.

Now, the beautiful blonde team member, LISA (the logic character, brains and beauty) drops to the ground, blocking a terrorist's path as he tries to escape.

The terrorist points his gun at Lisa, but Lisa kicks the terrorist in the face, and then sweeps his back leg.

A different terrorist appears behind Lisa! He's about to stab her-

-but then he's riddled with bullets, reeling back from Team America member CARSON (20s, handsome).

The terrorist falls face first into a vat of hot oil. He comes out screaming and melting.

Lisa smiles lovingly at Carson.

One last terrorist, the leader, is getting away through the crowd with the bomb.

Joe fires a rocket launcher at the terrorist, but the missile swings wide and heads for the Eiffel Tower instead.

The Eiffel Tower explodes and starts to collapse.

Still in the plane is SARAH (30s, brunette, over-emotional type) who looks through an infrared tracker and sees the heat image of the terrorist's body running towards a huge, old building.

Sarah swings her plane around and fires her missile.

MISSILE EYE VIEW - as it heads towards the running terrorist.

The two missiles run directly into the terrorist, blowing him up along with most of the Louvre.

Back at the square, the Team America members all rejoice.

The French people slowly get to their feet and look around at their city.

Team America happily smiles in front of the crowd.

The French people all just look around, somewhat incredulous.

Joe runs over to Jean Francois, who is still clinging to his parents.

Joe kneels down to the kid, and gives him a little American Flag.

Joe dashes away and rejoins the team.

Lisa smiles and looks at Carson, then everything goes SLOW MOTIN - Lisa's face drops as she sees-

Behind Carson, one of the bloody terrorists gets up with his M-16.

Carson doesn't even have time to turn around as he is riddled full of bullets and falls to his knees.

Still in slo-mo, The team members all take out small pistols and fire together, shooting the terrorist to death, but it is too late. Carson lies bleeding and dying on the ground.

The team members all run to him and fall to their knees. Joe scoops Carson up in his arms.

Carson gives a pained smile and the team members all wince with sadness.

Carson dies with his mouth and eyes open in pain. Lisa collapses next to his bloody corpse in tears.

The camera PULLS UP dramatically from Carson's dead body and the weeping Team America members around him as the MUSIC SWELLS.

Establishing shot of the Big Apple.

TITLE: 'New York City, America - One week Later'

Amidst the lights and glamour of Times Square, one theater is proudly playing the opening night of the heart-wrenching musical. 'Lease'.

'Lease' is playing out onstage to a packed house. It is a dramatic, musical extravaganza. The AUDIENCE is filled with excited and crying puppets, most of whom dab tears from their eyes with handkerchiefs.

The lead in the show is a rugged, handsome 27 year old puppet with a beautiful voice. His name is GARY JOHNSTON.

Sitting in the audience is a serious and dapper looking man in his early fifties - his name is SPOTTSWOODE.

The audience cries more at this.

Back in the audience, Spottswoode opens a business folder. The name on the folder reads 'Gary Johnston' with a small black and white photo of the LEASE singer clipped to it.

Spottswoode looks from the name to the actor on stage.

Thunderous applause from the audience. Spottswoode puts the folder back down and claps wildly himself.

Gary stands on the stage, soaking in all the applause. He LOVES the attention.

But then, he keys in on two empty seats in the audience, right in the front row.

Gary's smile drops a little, as he hones in on the two empty seats.

Gary heads to his dressing room, swarmed by other actors and STAGEHANDS from the show. Everyone is really excited.

Everyone looks to each other uncomfortably.

Gary goes into his room, marked 'Gary Johnston' with a big star.

Gary walks into his dressing room and dramatically puts his hands on the make-up table and looks at himself in the mirror. In the corner of the mirror is a picture of his parents. He picks the picture up and looks at it, as a flashback starts to happen...

GARY'S younger looking PARENTS are on the shore of the lake preparing a picnic.

Out on the lake, EIGHT YEAR OLD GARY, and his brother, TOMMY, are in kayaks having a race.

Suddenly, Tommy is in the water, splashing around with blood streaming down his forehead.

The parents watch helplessly from shore.

Gary slowly starts to paddle, but he's clumsy and slow.

Now Tommy's lifeless puppet body shoots down white water rapids, colliding into rocks.

Gary can only watch as his brother goes over a waterfall and splatters dead onto a group of boulders.

Gary snaps out of his flashback and quickly pours himself a slug of scotch. He drinks the liquid down like a true alcoholic.

When Gary lifts his head again and looks into the mirror, he notices the strange man we saw in the audience, who is leaning against the door, smoking a cigarette.

Gary stops and turns to look at the man in the shadows.

Now Spottswoode steps into the light.

Spottswoode does his ridiculous puppet walk back out the door.

Gary thinks for a second, and then walks out with the exact same ridiculous puppet walk.

Gary follows Spottswoode out the backstage door into the alley behind the theater where a very cool and futuristic white limousine is waiting.

A very proper, but odd looking MALE DRIVER in a full driver's suit, and wearing a ridiculous mustache opens the rear door.

Gary thinks, and then reluctantly gets into the car.

Spottswoode follows him in, then the strange driver closes the back door and heads for the driver's seat.

Inside, the limo is even more impressive. There are several monitors, and computer readouts, making it look more like the inside of the space shuttle.

Gary looks around in wonder.

Gary looks shocked.

Spottswoode gives a wry smile, and the limo takes off at a high speed.

The Limo races down the city street at an incredible speed as some puppet homeless people watch in awe.

The puppets are now sitting in a bluescreen car scene, with live action landscape footage behind them.

Spottswoode leans forward in his seat.

The odd-looking driver gives a sexy look to Gary, then hits a button on the car's impressive control panel. Gary jumps in his seat as the car comes to life.

As thrilling music plays, the limo changes into a flying vehicle. It takes off into the sky.

As the limo panels flip, some are blue and some are red, so that the flying limo now looks very American. Two panels on the side of the limo lift up to reveal a proud logo that reads 'Team America'.

Gary can't believe what he's seeing. He pulls his gaze away from the window and falls back into his seat.

Gary thinks for a second... Then his eyes POP wide-

More wondrous movie music plays as the camera BOOMS up to the majestic Mount Rushmore. The limojet flies right for Washington's face at a fast speed. Is it going to crash into it? No - Washington's face slowly and wondrously opens up with huge hydraulics, and the limo jet flies inside.

Inside Mount Rushmore, there is a large, slick looking base like we'd expect to see in Cheyenne Mountain.

When it touches the paved ground, the limo becomes a driving vehicle again, and drives casually into one of the base's many garages.

Gary steps out of the car and looks around with a wide open mouth at the HUGE hangar FILLED with red, white and blue vehicles.

Spottswoode leads Gary into the main room of the Team America base, which is a combination of advanced technology and a cocktail friendly, fancy living room decorated with antiques from all over the world.

It actually looks like a great room for a party, with a nice wet bar, a grand piano and luxurious sofa seating.

All the team members we met in Paris are lounging around in plain clothes. Joe is playing soft, jazzy music on the grand piano, Sarah is reading, and Chris is playing pool.

As Spottswoode speaks, the camera moves down the short line of team members.

Sarah closes her eyes and touches Gary's chest with an open palm.

Now big Chris steps forward, still wearing sunglasses and a scowl. He immediately gets in Gary's face.

The driver of the limo steps forward, but then removes his hat and mustache - it isn't a man at all, it's Lisa.

She tosses her hair back in slow motion.

LOVE-Y MUSIC swells up as we see Lisa's pretty face through a softened lens. Gary stares at her with love in his eyes.

The team members laugh cheesily at F.O.N.Z.Y., the lovable computer talking through a computer readout, with F.O.N.Z.Y. written below it. He talks somewhat like HAL in 2001.

Gary just stands there with his mouth open.

Spottswoode walks over to Gary and puts a hand on his shoulder.

Spottswoode leads Gary over to FONZY's huge world screen, which shows conflicts and chaos as blips all over, along with LIVE ACTION footage of small wars being fought.

Gary stares at the monitors with an open mouth.

Spottswoode gestures to the door behind Gary. Gary looks.

Gary walks out the door, closing it behind him.

The team members just stand in silence looking at the closed door.

Gary is walking back towards the Limo when-

Gary stops to find Lisa rushing up to him.

Gary turns away dramatically. He HEARS FAINT ECHOES IN HIS MIND...

Gary turns back to Lisa.

Lisa's puppet hand clumsily tries to point to Gary's heart.

Again she slightly misses the mark.

Lisa hands Gary a business card that reads 'Team America' and then 'Lisa' with a nice photo of her in the corner.

Gary walks towards the limojet and gets in. Joe walks up next to Lisa.

Joe turns his puppet head to Lisa.

As a tender, LEE GREENWOOD STYLE COUNTRY SONG plays, Gary stands with his hands in his pockets, thinking and looking at the beautiful monument.

Gary stares at the Statue of Liberty. He nods slowly as a tear wells up in his eye.

Gary's back is to the camera as he looks at the great monument. Then reverse to TRACK IN on his face.

Gary holds an outstretched arm to run his finger along the names on the hallowed wall.

Gary stands in front of the Red Lobster, looking at this American icon with the same patriotic nod as he had for the other monuments.

Gary is sitting table-side, watching a stripper dance with the same determination and slight nod that he has watched everything else.

As the song FADES OUT we track slowly into Gary's eye.

The pyramids loom in the distance behind the shit-hole that is Cairo. That crappy, screeching Middle Eastern music is playing.

TITLE "CAIRO, AFRICA - 3,456 miles east of AMERICA.

There is a large government building, guarded by a few Egyptian GUARDS.

Now REVERSE to reveal FOUR TERRORISTS walking up to the building.

The leader is MUHAMMED BARK BARK.

Suddenly, it is a scene right out of 'Black Hawk Down.' The Cairo townspeople run and scream in all directions as the TERRORISTS whip out guns and start shooting their way to the building.

Gunfire all around as Muhammed takes out the two guards in the front. Then calls out to his men to invade the building.

A WOUNDED GUARD bursts into the President's office with a gunshot in his chest.

The CAIRO PRESIDENT watches in horror as the guard falls dead to the floor and the Al Qaida terrorists charge in behind him.

The President stands up with a scared look.

Muhammed Bark Bark calmly points his gun and shoots the President in the head.

In a very dramatic moment, the huge hangar doors of the base open up, revealing a lone, silouhetted figure walking in.

It's Gary. He walks up to the rest of the team, who are all smiling except for Chris.

The team converges on Gary.

Spottswoode tosses Gary the newspaper.

Spottswoode thinks.

Gary plops down into a chair with the paper, reading on-

The team members all dash into the lounge area.

The Team Members run into the lounge and over to FONZY's large world map readout.

Gary is sitting in something that looks like a dentist's chair with extremely expensive surgical and computer equipment all around him.

Sarah is in a surgeon's outfit, preparing a large laser tool.

COOL MUSIC kicks in and a quick montage begins, much like the one in the unwatchable film 'Face Off,' in which Gary's face is transformed.

Quickly cut between shots of surgery tools and lasers being picked up and applied, computer graphs of Gary's face, and that of a Middle Easterner's face. Sarah wiping sweat off her forehead as she works her magic.

Finally, the surgery is finished and we go back to real time.

From Gary's POV in the operating chair, we see the other team members staring at him.

Gary sits up in the chair and looks in the mirror. He looks ridiculous - nothing but a poorly made, glued on black beard and brown face paint put on sloppily so that his white skin is still visible on the edges. This is a make-up job done by a sixth grader.

Dramatic Music Sting.

Now the team members are in their super cool outfits, sitting around a slick briefing table, as Spottswoode uses a laser pointer to show positions on FONZY'S huge computer screens.

As Spottswoode talks, Lisa and Gary catch each other staring. Then Gary looks over at Chris, who breaks his pencil in half with a menacing smile.

TRACK IN on Gary's face as Rad MUSIC kicks in again-

The COOL MUSIC continues as the team members load into their ship. They load in a ridiculous fashion, their puppet bodies flying down conveyor belts and flipping onto moving platforms that plop their limp figures into the seats of their jet.

As all this happens, the very awesome TEAM AMERICA song plays once again-

The Team America Jet flies gallantly out of the base.

Joe is piloting the ship and Chris is in the seat next to him.

Meanwhile, Lisa is sitting next to Gary in the back.

Back up in the cockpit, Chris is staring at Gary, then turns to Joe.

The huge Team America Helijet lands in a large city square, blocked off by several buildings.

Cairo citizens run and scream in all directions as the bad ass machine kicks up dust and wind.

Finally, it settles to a stop and the main door opens.

Chris is the first one out the door, pointing his huge M-60 in all directions to make sure it's safe.

Now Sarah comes out. She immediately addresses all the frightened, Egyptian people.

The people all just look scared shitless as the other team members disembark.

Chris stops Gary with the butt of his gun.

Joe quickly wedges himself between Chris and Gary.

Gary follows Joe as Chris continues to stare at him.

About a block away from the government building, Joe and Gary sneak up through an alley. More frightened Egyptians scatter at the sight of Joe's huge gun.

Gary waves his arms around goofily and jumps up and down.

Gary takes a deep breath and starts to walk away.

Gary just stares at Joe, this doesn't seem like the time for--

Gary doesn't know what to say, he just gives a nod back.

Gary nervously walks amongst all the people of Cairo. He still looks absolutely ridiculous with his shitty brown make up and crappy beard, but nobody seems to notice.

Gary almost makes it past the two guards when one of them pushes him backward.

Gary looks scared.

The other team members, hidden away around various corners, cock their weapons, waiting for something bad to happen.

Back at the door the guard again snaps at Gary, this time poking him in the chest with his gun.

Meanwhile, Spottswoode is sitting in his important chair, watching this all go down on video monitors.

With one final push the guard yells at Gary.

Gary finally composes himself, and starts acting.

The terrorists stare. One of them grunts a little.

The guards look at each other then the one pushes Gary inside, letting him pass. The team members all let out a sigh of relief.

Lisa and Sarah stand next to each other holding their GIGANTIC guns aimed at the building.

The terrorists bring Gary into the terrorists' lair. Guns, ammo, grenade launchers, etc are all over the place. Muhammed Bark Bark is at a fax machine, sending a message that is written in Korean.

Gary nervously eyes the piece of paper. Muhammed catches him, and gets in Gary's face.

That's when the glue on Gary's beard decides to give out, and the whole thing just drops to the floor.

Gary freaks and picks the beard up, securing it back to his face, but it is too late - the terrorists saw.

The terrorists wave their guns about knowing this is an ambush. The leader runs to the window and looks out, spotting Sarah hiding in the distance with her cannon of a gun.

The team members look to each other, not yet realizing anything's wrong.

The team members look back to the building-

BLAM!!! An open-roofed car bursts out through the building wall and starts to speed away.

The four terrorists are in the car, along with Gary, who is still in disguise.

Lisa runs towards the building as Egyptians scatter all over screaming for their lives.

Gary freaks out and screams in the back as the terrorists make their escape at high speeds.

Silence for a moment, and then- Team America Four bursts out from the alley! Team America Four is a truck/hovercraft kind of thing with lots of guns and missiles.

Joe, Sarah, and Chris are inside Team America Four, chasing after the Jeep. It quickly morphs from a vehicle into more of a hovercraft kind of thing, as the awesome Team America music continues to play.

The jeep with the terrorists speeds down the streets outside of Cairo.

Team America Four quickly catches up and starts to fire on the jeep, not realizing Gary is inside.

The missile flies past the car and blows up one of the pyramids.

Meanwhile, in the car, Gary is fully panicking.

Joe looks through his binoculars at the jeep.

BINOCULARS POV - We see Gary in the back seat, turned around and waving his arms in desperation.

BINOCULARS POV - Gary waves and screams.

Chris fires two missiles.

But the jeep swerves, and missiles go into the Sphinx instead.

Lisa searches around the building and realizes that Gary isn't in there.

Lisa frantically shouts into her headset.

Sarah stands up in the Hovercraft and hits a button. Suddenly, a flying snowboard kind of thing detaches from Team America Four and Sarah surfs her way through the air towards the jeep.

Sarah flies the snowboard over the jeep and grabs Gary by the back of the shirt, hoisting him out of the car. Then she banks right, zooming back to the others with Gary flailing miserably below her.

The terrorists turn their attention back to the road -- Just in time to see a huge caravan of people and camels!

The driver spins the wheel, but it's too late, they collide into the caravan, and the car flies into the air and explodes.

Lisa runs up to join the rest of the team.

The two embrace in a hug.

Gary and Lisa realize their embrace is too long and quickly let go of each other.

Gary pulls out the piece of paper with Korean writing on it.

Joe speaks into his watch.

Spottswoode disappears off of Joe's watch. Sarah walks up to the crowd of Egyptians, who are amassing on the horrible scene of carnage and destruction.

Gary smiles and steps forward to receive his praise and glory, but it surprised to find-

The Cairo townspeople all grab tomatoes from the knocked over carts and throw them at the team members who just smile and wave. All except for Gary, who seems quite put off as a tomato hits him in the head.

CLOSE UP on a tray of delicious looking cocktails. PULL BACK to show Spottswoode setting the cocktails down on the coffee table in front of the team members who are all back in plain clothes and lounging about comfortably.

Gary is still getting tomato out of his hair with a towel.

The sound from the nearby television suddenly gets louder, and Gary turns his head to see some of the news.

ANGLE - TELEVISION

A CNN reporter sits at his desk with tons of information scrolling along the bottom of the frame.

Gary sits up and leans in.

Shots of various people around the world in Anti Team America protests.

ANGLE - TELEVISION

A huge mob of well known Hollywood ACTORS are marching down an LA street.

Gary watches Spottswoode walk away then turns back to the television.

Now giving an interview is MR. ALEC BALDWIN, the head of F.A.G.

Gary continues to watch the news piece.

TRACK IN slowly on Gary's face.

Now cut to a different interview, with Mr. Sean Penn with his name below.

Now it's Mrs. Susan Sarandon, with her name below.

We cut to stupid puppet versions of these actors as Mr. Baldwin says their names.

Back to Mr. Baldwin.

Gary walks out in a panic.

Gary is standing on a beautiful hilltop that is part of the monument, as dazzling stars twinkle all around him and a soft parody of that shitty Aerosmith song 'I don't wanna miss a thing' plays. Lisa walks up behind Gary.

Gary turns away.

Gary closes his eyes, puts his hand on Lisa's and softly moves in for a kiss. Lisa turns her head away.

Lisa gets up and takes a few dramatic steps away.

Gary takes Lisa by the shoulders and looks into her eyes.

The two puppets kiss tenderly as the parody of that shitty fucking Aerosmith song gets louder.

The romantic song continues as Lisa and Gary kiss in the bedroom.

Lisa takes a step away - her puppet hair blowing tenderly in the wind from the window. She unbuttons her shirt and lets it fall, revealing her supple, plastic breasts.

Lisa is laid down onto the bed and Gary falls on top of her.

Their two naked, sweaty puppet bodies writhe and move with each other.

CLOSE-UP of Gary putting Lisa's breasts in his mouth.

Lisa rolls over on top of Gary and gently starts to ride him.

Now a shot that has absolutely no place in this beautiful Aerosmith montage. Gary behind Lisa, fucking her from behind and slapping her ass.

Quickly get off that shot, and back to more tender lovemaking.

Finally, the song, and the lovemaking fades.

Gary is on top of Lisa, looking down at her pretty face.

But Lisa puts a clumsy puppet finger to Gary's lips.

Lisa's finger doesn't actually quite make it to Gary's lips, more like his left cheek, but we all get the point.

Again with the finger to the lips - this time more to the eye area.

The music and the humping starts up again as we -

From out in the ocean, a shot over the water to a Korean seaside city.

'North Korea - 2,456 miles west of AMERICA'

The camera slowly BOOMS DOWN - beneath the water, lower and lower, and then finally settling on a huge, crazy looking underwater base.

A few little minnows swim around the base, made to look like giant fish.

TITLE: 'KIM JONG IL'S UNDERWATER LAIR'

KIM JONG IL is staring out at the (real) fish through the thick, glass windows of his evil base. He is a short, very goofy looking man with silly hair and thick, round glasses. Several North Korean WORKERS mill about the lair.

A LYBIAN RADICAL walks in nervously. Kim Jong Il turns to him.

Kim Jong Il pulls a lever and the trap door below the Lybian's feet opens up and he falls into the cold water.

Kim Jong quickly rushes over to the large windows looking out into the ocean's depths.

Outside the glass, the Libyan floats up into frame, drowning.

The Lybian's body is attacked by fish. (A simple trick done by filling the puppets body with fish food and letting the minnows go crazy.)

Kim Jong Il now walks over to his workers.

The Koreans all look at each other, confused.

Dramatic MUSIC STING.

The team members are in their attractive morning wear, drinking orange juice and eating breakfast.

Gary and Lisa look at each other.

The team members all jump up and walk over to FONZY'S screen.

MUSIC STING.

Team America Six bursts through the sky as the kick ass song jumps in once more.

The large Chinese building is nestled amongst a brilliant model of Beijing.

TITLE: 'Beijing, Asia - 6,345 miles west of America'

A crowd of hundreds of Chinese puppets are gathered to watch CHINESE ACROBATS onstage.

The acrobats are getting their frail bodies in remarkable positions as the shitty CHINESE TRADITIONAL BAND plays that horrible twang and bang shit.

The acrobats form themselves into some insane structure and the crowd goes wild with applause.

As the act continues, Kim Jong Il enters in the back. OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS as he sneaks his way down the side aisle, and takes a seat in one of the middle rows. Kim Jong Il places a suitcase with flashing lights down on the floor.

The team members are back in their kicking ass outfits, all seated at various stations in the jet's cockpit.

CLOSE UP on Gary's wrist watch. It is flashing and we can hear Lisa's voice.

As Gary brings his wrist up towards his face, the camera follows, and we see that --

He is made up once again, this time like a Chinese Man. The make up job is just as bad as the last one; worse; with drawn- on slanty eyes and fake buck teeth.

Gary moves his head, scanning along the Asians in the audience.

The team members watch the monitors closely...

The image moves back to the left, and Sarah hits a button to zoom in.

The team sees what she sees: Kim Jong Il sitting in the audience!

But Lisa breaks in on her intercom-

All the team members lean into frame to get a look look at Lisa.

Lisa cowers slightly.

Sarah's face drops.

Lisa looks at the floor.

Kim Jong Il looks suspiciously over at Gary, and taps two Chinese soldiers on their shoulders.

Kim Jong Il and the Chinese get up from their seats and head towards Gary.

Sarah looks at Chris, incredulous.

Then Gary's voice comes screaming through the intercom.

Back in the theater, Gary now sees Kim Jong Il pass him, and shake hands with two more important looking Chinese military men.

CRASH!!!! The team members all BURST through the side of the theater in their jet.

The Chinese people all scream and scatter in various directions.

The team members come flying out of the jet's doorway wearing lights on their heads that cut through the smoke and the rubble. They scream at the tops of their lungs as they lunge at the terrorist with their huge guns.

Several Chinese look at each other.

The Chinese military men pull out guns and start firing at Team America.

Joe turns his gun on the Chinese man and riddles his body with bullets.

Kim Jong Il manages to escape out the back, while the Chinese block Team America's way.

More Chinese suddenly emerge from the curtains on the stage with M-16s and start to fire at the team members.

Gary watches in horror as Chris rolls on his back and fires his two pistols at two Chinese men's heads.

Now Lisa sees a Chinese guy leveling his gun at Gary, preparing to shoot--

In slo mo, Lisa dives in front of Gary and takes the bullet herself.

Joe sees this and fires his huge M-60 and mows down twenty Chinese, their body parts flying all over the place.

Gary crawls to Lisa and scoops her up in his arms. She took the shot in her shoulder.

Finally, the smoke clears and we see that only the team members are standing. A hundred dead Chinese puppets lie strewn all around in pools of blood.

Out of breath, Joe brings his watch up to his face and talks into it.

Establishing.

Again, we start on a close-up of the cocktail tray as it is brought in and set on the coffee table.

The team members are back in casual wear and lounging, except for Gary, who looks shaken and disturbed.

Spottswoode walks over to FONZY'S illustrated maps and readouts to display in detail the things he says:

Gary turns around and heads out the door.

The door slams. After he's gone, the team members all look at each other.

A city near Mount Rushmore is alive with bars and clubs.

Gary is sitting at the bar, having a drink. There is obviously a lot on his mind...

GARY'S PARENTS are on the shore of the lake preparing a picnic.

Out on the lake, eight year old Gary, and his brother are kayaking. They are racing and Gary's brother is winning by a lot.

Gary is a little weak, and can't keep up.

Gary's father watches from the shore and calls out:

Gary accidentally swings his oar and hits his brother on the head. Tommy falls into the water and starts to bleed.

Tommy floats down the lake, barely conscious, trying to stay afloat. His parents can only helplessly watch from shore.

Gary slowly starts to paddle, but he's just as clumsy as ever.

Now Tommy's lifeless puppet body shoots down white water rapids, colliding into rocks.

Gary can only watch as his brother goes over a waterfall and splatters dead onto a group of boulders.

Little eight year old Gary starts to cry...

Gary buries his head in his hands and starts to cry.

That's when he hears a familiar voice coming from elsewhere in the bar...

Gary turns and sees that Alec Baldwin is indeed holding court in the VIP corner of the bar.

Mr. Baldwin smiles, then suddenly shifts his eyes right at Gary. He stares oddly at Gary.

Gary quickly spins around, puts up his collar and walks out of the bar with the bottle of scotch.

Gary walks out the door and quickly makes his way down the block. But a few seconds later, Baldwin emerges from the bar and trots down to catch up.

Gary keeps walking, but Baldwin gets in his way.

Gary very nervously hides his face.

Gary relaxes, in fact, he lights up.

Gary can't help but smile.

Gary winces.

The puppets ponder this statement for a few seconds.

This is where Alec Baldwin gets a good look at Gary's watch. It very clearly has a Team America Logo on it. Baldwin tries to act like he didn't notice.

Gary is visibly shaken.

Gary takes the card, which still simply says 'Alec Baldwin - FAG' and then has a number.

Alec Baldwin starts to walk away, but then turns back around.

A huge music sting as Gary watches Baldwin walk away.

Gary sighs and takes a huge swig from his scotch bottle.

Gary is walking down the street and drinking heavily from the scotch bottle. He is wasted, hearing voices in his head.

Gary is now so drunk that his puppet body is weaving and dipping as he walks. He slurs out shouts as he bobbles.

Finally, Gary vomits onto the street and then passes out in it.

Establishing. All is quiet and still this early in the morning.

The main room of the base is very, very quiet and dark.

It appears a burglary might be taking place, as a flashlight scans the TEAM AMERICA computers as sneaky MUSIC plays.

The light from the flashlight scans some filing cabinets, and then settles on a drawer that says 'Team America Files' and below that 'Don't Let the General Public See These.'

A black gloved hand creeps in and slides the drawer open.

There are several folders inside. One is labeled 'Stuff We DEFINITELY don't want people to see.'

The gloved hand takes the folder out...

And then suddenly the lights go on! Gary spins around, the folder in his guilty hand, to find the rest of the team in attractive sleep-wear.

Gary looks at the folder in his hand, and then at his fellow team members. He seems like a deer in headlights for a second, but then quickly regains his composure.

Pause.

Gary is rendered momentarily speechless.

MUSIC STING. Spottswoode steps forward dramatically.

The team members all just stare back in disbelief.

Now Lisa appears, in her hospital gown, looking groggy but still beautiful.

TRACK IN slowly on Lisa. She looks from Gary, to the team. Finally, Lisa steps back to the team.

Gary's face drops.

As dramatic, sad music swells up, Gary walks out, with the tapes, and closes the door.

After the door is closed, Spottswoode sighs and slumps down into his chair.

Lisa starts to cry and Joe puts his arm around her.

Chris takes out a pistol and violently cocks it.

Spottswoode sadly walks over to Sarah and puts his puppet hand on her puppet back.

The CNN logo flies into frame.

With lots of news tidbits scrolling along the bottom of the screen, the reporter speaks to camera.

VIDEO - shows clips of Team America fighting.

VIDEO - Baldwin speaking to a huge mass of people.

Alec Baldwin walks up to the podium and the huge crowd roars with cheers. Mr. Baldwin smiles and waves.

More cheers and applause.

Gary steps up to the podium to see thousands of puppets all cheering for him, and chanting his name.

Gary cannot hide his happiness. His smile beams as he finally feels everyone likes him.

MUSIC swells up as Gary takes in this wonderful moment, looking across the sea of people.

Gary waves to everyone and soaks it all in like a pathetic sponge.

Now all the reporters in the front row get their chance to scream out questions.

Finally, Mr. Baldwin points to one reporter.

Gary happily steps up to the mic.

Silence. Gary's face drops.

Kim Jong Il snaps a small television off in the middle of his lair.

Kim Jong Il runs over to his workers.

Dramatic MUSIC STING.

A very sad scene as MOVERS are taking out huge computers and furniture as the Team Members watch quietly with their heads in their hands.

It's like the last episode of Real World, where everyone has to say goodbye.

Spottswoode walks in with his bags packed, and sets them down.

The team watches sadly as a large open crate filled with huge guns is wheeled out.

FLASHBACK:

SEVERAL SLO-MO SHOTS OF THE TEAM MEMBERS SHOOTING AND KILLING VARIOUS PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD.

SCREAMING, BULLETS BLOOD AND BODY PARTS FLYING as VERY TENDER 'MEMORIES' kind of music plays.

BACK TO SCENE

Sarah breaks down crying, as does Lisa. Everyone hugs each other and cries...

Spottswoode bites his lip, turns around and fights back the tears.

Everyone starts to walk quietly and slowly out the door.

Spottswoode stops to turn out the lights - gazing fondly one last time at the base.

Spottswoode turns out the lights and the room is left void of anything but a few of FONZY's blinking lights.

TENDER MUSIC starts to play, leading into our very sad, 'I miss you song.'

Gary is sitting on a bench outside of FAG, looking sadly and longingly at a picture of Lisa.

Lisa is in a ridiculous sea lion outfit, sitting bored at a booth that says 'Sea Lion Info.' She stares longingly at a picture of Gary.

Alec Baldwin is surrounded by the other actors, and being sworn in as President. He holds up one hand, with another on a bible as he mouths the famous speech. Gary is there too, still looking at a picture of Lisa.

Spottswoode is sitting at the bar with a scotch watching President Baldwin speak on television.

FONZY's screen is a map of the world, lighting up all over the place to show world conflicts building and building... The events look exactly like Spottswoode's earlier explanation.

Baldwin is happily taking his first seat at the desk in the oval office.

Joe is sitting on the edge of a crappy bed in a crappy trailer home, looking sadly at his photo album of Team America.

The pictures are all of the team posing happily with their guns on tops of the bodies of slain terrorists.

Sarah is in one of those ridiculous outfits serving up corn dogs. She looks at a picture of the team and starts to cry.

Gary is making a clay bust with his hands. It is obviously LISA'S face he is sadly creating.

Wide shot of the city with the Golden Gate Bridge prominent.

TITLE: SAN FRANCISCO, AMERICA - ONE WEEK LATER

Several cars are backed up on the bridge, apparently in a traffic jam. They all sound their horns as various puppets get out of their cars to see what the problem is.

One of the cars stuck on the bridge is Lisa's.

Lisa honks her horn in frustration, still wearing her silly sea lion outfit.

Lisa gets out of her car.

Lisa tries to see what's up ahead, and then hears a strange sound... A deep, deep horn.

She turns her head outward towards the ocean and we TRACK IN on her face.

Now we see what Lisa sees:

It's like the shot from 'Saving Private Ryan' of the massive landing on Normandy, except that the ships, planes and soldiers are all Chinese and Korean.

Twelve battle cruisers, multiple beach landers, helicopters and aircraft carriers.

Other people on the bridge have already taken notice and are looking out at the spectacle with wonder.

Lisa looks hard at the Asian ship in the lead - on the deck she can see him: Kim JONG IL!

Lisa's eyes bulge.

Just then one of the battle cruisers launches two missiles at the Golden Gate Bridge.

Explosions, and immediately the huge cables of the bridge break free, fly through the air and slam into cars, killing the puppets inside. Everyone runs in horror as the bridge starts to collapse.

A wide, helicopter style shot of the huge Israeli dam with many Israelis milling about.

TITLE: HAIFA DAM, ISRAEL

BLAM!!! A terrorist missile hits, blowing a chunk out of the middle of the dam.

Puppets run screaming as the dam collapses and water bursts into the empty canyon.

Just down river, a community of homeowners walk out of their river front homes to find out what is causing the ground to shake.

FLOOD! All the water, debris and dead puppet bodies come flying through the canyon towards the neighborhood. More puppets run and scream, but it's too late, the water catches up with, and consumes them.

TITLE: LONDON, EUROPE

The city looks peaceful enough, with Big Ben sitting majestically amongst the old buildings.

Peaceful until ZWWWOOOOOM!!!! Ten Irish F-15 style jets fly through the air, dropping bombs. The city flowers with explosions, one is a direct hit on Big Ben! It begins to teeter-

Dozens of puppets are trapped in the top of Big Ben as it starts to fall!

Everyone screams as glass breaks, structures crumble-

Big Ben collapses onto another tall building and the two explode into flames.

TITLE: SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA

Dozens of puppets are enjoying a sunny day on a Sydney Beach with the opera house visible in the background.

Three Indonesian planes fly overhead and drop a greenish powder which falls like snow to the beach.

Almost immediately, the Australian Puppets start to cough and fall to their knees...

TITLE: WASHINGTON, AMERICA

Gary is walking on the mall, when the Washington Monument suddenly explodes!

It flies up into the air ridiculously, like a lame firework, and then lands on its side, killing dozens of puppets.

Puppets are hanging on for their lives as the collapsed bridge sways back and forth. Cars roll off the bridge’s sides, some with screaming puppets still inside of them.

Lisa is standing in the middle of the bridge, with a crowd of puppets who are in full panic.

With Lisa's prophetic words, the bridge breaks in the center, and two halves start to fall down into the water. Cars slide down the steeping slope, smashing into each other and sending the ones in front off into the abyss.

Lisa is with a group of twenty people who are running for the end, others aren't making it.

A car slams into a man next to Lisa and sends him and the car into the ocean.

In a wide shot we can grasp the horror - just like the Titanic, there are people hanging on to whatever they can, but then finally succumbing and falling to their deaths.

Lisa finally makes it to the end of the bridge. She is safe. But when she turns back, she sees a LITTLE GIRL still standing on the falling bridge.

Lisa, hero that she is, goes back out to the bridge.

Gary is running down the chaotic with puppets screaming and running all around him.

Gary notices a bunch of puppets gathered in front of a television shop, watching the televisions in the window.

ANGLE - TELEVISION

In a CNN newsroom.

Gary can't believe it.

A sloppy camera catches the commotion on the bridge. Lisa is clearly seen along with others hanging on for life.

Another reporter sits at his news desk in San Francisco.

But then, suddenly, seventeen Chinese and Korean soldiers burst into the newsroom with their guns pointed.

The reporter calmly puts up his hands and tries to reason in Chinese.

But the Chinese soldier shoots him anyway - and then Kim Jong Il immediately sits down and takes the reporter's place.

Gary dashes away.

Mr. Baldwin is sitting at his desk, having drinks with some of the other actors. They are all laughing and talking.

Gary bursts through the oval office doors and is amazed to find everyone laughing and gabbing.

Gary blinks a few times.

The OMINOUS MUSIC peaks AS GARY'S EYES POP.

MUSIC PEAKS.

Gary rushes to punch Mr. Baldwin, but all of the security guards pull out their weapons and aim them at Gary's head.

Gary runs out of the office.

Mr. Baldwin sits back down at his desk calmly and looks at the guards.

The Golden Gate Bridge is seconds away from full collapse.

As it goes, we see the little girl still just standing there, screaming and clinging to her teddy bear.

Lisa scoops the girl up in her arms and runs back for the end. Another shockwave rocks the bridge and people all around Lisa fall to their deaths.

But Lisa just makes it to the end with the little girl. But then-

Lisa looks to where the little girl is pointing. A little dog is still on the bridge, about to go down with it.

Lisa, hero that she still is, runs out to the bridge a second time to get the dog. SUPER WIDE SHOT - SAN FRANCISCO

The amazingly huge Asian navy amasses on the coast of San Francisco shooting, bombing, and overrunning.

In the last stages of collapse. The final cables snap and it all starts to slip into the sea.

The little girl screams and cries.

But then from the smoke, Lisa appears, running in slo mo with the dog in her arms.

Lisa gets down with the girl and gives her the dog. But then the little girl points again-

Lisa looks to where the girl is pointing - She sees an old woman in a wheelchair, back on the bridge.

Lisa rolls her eyes and goes out, once again, to the bridge.

A VERY British reporter with a snarled lip speaks to camera with his heavy accent.

An English man stands in front of burning London, being interviewed.

All of Paris is in flames as a beaten up FRENCH FAMILY talks on camera.

Jerusalem is still flooding and puppets are being tossed down river.

An ambulance screams down the highway with lights flashing and siren blaring.

TITLE: 'ROUTE 66 - STILL AMERICA FOR NOW'

Gary is frantically driving while listening to the radio.

Gary suddenly breaks to a stop.

Gary has come to a huge blockade, where dozens of cops and military men block the road. Gary jumps out of the ambulance and runs up to one of the cops.

TRUCK IN on Gary's face.

He takes several steps back in shock as DRAMATIC MUSIC kicks in.

With chaos still raining around him, Gary has to catch himself from fainting.

Gary drops to his knees in defeat and puts his head in his hands.

He sobs uncontrollably.

Finally, he slowly picks his head up and turns it away from the camera to look at a mountain in the distance.

It is Mount Rushmore. A look of determination and Gary jumps back into the ambulance.

Gary climbs a steep hill. The camera is behind him - rising with him - so when Gary gets his first look at Mount Rushmore so do we.

The stone faces of the Presidents are partially destroyed by missile attacks, drooping and collapsed.

Finally we reverse to see Gary's face. A single tear runs from his eye.

The interior of the headquarters looks nothing like it used to. It has been bombed and ransacked.

Gary walks amongst the rubble, hopeless that the amount of disarray and wreckage.

Gary plops to the floor, knowing his last hope is dashed.

But then...

A garbled voice sounds-

Gary jumps - then picks up a piece of wood to use as a weapon.

Gary finally recognizes the voice.

Gary clears away the rubble in front of one of FONZY's interfaces, and we see the dull red glow and screen.

As FONZ explains to Gary (and us) exactly what's going on, he displays everything in neat, computer animation and maps on his screens.

Gary slumps down in a chair.

Gary lets his head drop.

In the distance behind Gary, a shadowy figure steps into frame with a pointed gun.

MUSIC TENSION RISES as we think Gary is about to be killed. But no - then we see it's Spottswoode.

Gary turns around.

Spottswoode lowers his gun and looks confused.

Spottswoode closes his eyes, and sadly lowers his gun.

Spottswoode walks past Gary, and stares up at the computer monitors.

Spottswoode looks up at the stars. He is deep in thought, but finally he speaks.

The puppets look at each other for a very long time.

Gary thinks for a very long time.

Spottswoode unzips his pants and drops them, then looks around to see if anybody is watching.

Gary looks horrified, but torn.

Gary sighs again and looks helpless. Spottswoode again lowers his pants and strokes his wooden cock.

Making sure nobody is watching, Gary very slowly gets on his knees.

He moves his head closer... closer...

Opens his mouth...

Closes his eyes...

But right before Gary can suck Spottswoode's dick, Spottswoode jumps back-

The once quaint and cute area of Fisherman's wharf is now a burning, bloody war zone.

Americans run screaming in all directions as the Asian Army continues to fire on them.

One American man has a bayonet driven though his chest.

Two others are shot as they try to flee.

The Asians fire RPGs and throw grenades at the buildings.

Then, with awesome, ominous force, the Asian Army, huge in size, marches down the street in terrifying rows.

Leading them all, is Kim Jong Il.

What was once a rich, beautiful San Francisco style home is now a burned out wreck with two charred puppet bodies inside. GLASS BREAKS, a hand reaches through, opens the front door, and Lisa steps in with her M-16.

Lisa's rag tag group follows her inside.

Lisa rushes over to the little girl, who has just found the two dead bodies that were once the homeowners.

Lisa takes the girl in her arms and leads her away.

The army private has found a small television, and is watching the CNN reporter tell the latest.

Everyone gathers around the small television.

Kim Jong Il leads the Asian army through a burning street.

TITLE: CHEYENNE, STILL AMERICA FOR NOW

The team members, in plain clothes are once again assembled, this time in the pleasant corner booth of a Denny's restaurant. The team members are all wearing very light means of disguise.

The members all look at Gary. Spottswoode looks at the team members.

Everyone looks at everyone, and finally Spottswoode speaks.

Gary's head drops.

Gary stands up and gives an impassioned speech as SWELLING MUSIC fades in.

The music STOPS. Gary thinks.

The team members look at each other.

MUSIC starts to kick in as we begin a MONTAGE SONG.

The team members are checking out crappy, second-hand guns and purchasing them from a redneck PAWNSHOP OWNER.

The team members are all dressed in Martial Arts outfits. Chris throws Gary to the floor as hard as he can and laughs.

Gary is at a table with a stack of acting books. He is reading 'The Actor's Method' as quickly as he can.

Alec Baldwin and the actors are talking with Mohammed and the Al Qaida members, with a map of the new proposed 'SHAREWORLD.'

The team members are at a cheap shooting range, trying to fire their crude weapons.

All the team members are in a small classroom, taking notes as Spottswoode talks at a chalkboard, drawing out various attack formations. Chris looks at Gary and snaps his pencil in half.

The team members are getting better at their tosses and throws.

Kim Jong Il and dozens of Asians comb a street looking for resistance. He just passes Lisa, who is hiding in an alleyway.

Now Gary is hitting bullseyes with every shot. Sarah jumps up and down and cheers for Gary.

Gary is in a crude, hand-made Team America suit, he joins the others who are in the same outfits, holding their crude weapons.

MILITARY DRUMS play as we BOOM DOWN from the White House's illuminated exterior.

In backview, Gary, Joe, Sarah, and Chris step dramatically into frame with some guns slung over their shoulders, they stare at the White House which is still a couple hundred yards away.

Now reverse to see that the team looks more bad ass than ever. They wear mostly black camouflage with face paint and equipment hung all over them.

The rest of the team just looks at Sarah.

An ice cream truck is parked on the street.

Spottswoode has turned the inside of the ice cream truck into a makeshift base with video monitors and computer equipment. He sits in a chair with a headset mic on.

Chris gets in Gary's face.

Chris cocks his shotgun with force. Gary winces.

Two WHITE HOUSE PATROL GUARDS are keeping watch over the west gate.

Martin Sheen walks up to the guards and puts his hand on their shoulders.

But as the guards run, they run into a third guard.

Martin Sheen and the other two patrol guards run the opposite direction.

The third patrol guard takes off a fake face, revealing that it is actually Gary.

Spottswoode smiles at the monitors.

Meanwhile, the other team members all make it through the West Gate and head for the White House.

Super cool, 'Triple X' style music starts to play as the team members all pull out their guns and start shooting.

Huge turrets pop out of the White House Lawn, which look like they belong in a Star Wars Movie and start firing at the team. Chris drops and rolls, shooting an RPG at one of the turrets - BLAM!!!

Guards pour out of the White House shooting their UZIs.

Sarah does a series of flips and cartwheels and ends up in front of two guards whom she shoots dead with two pistols.

Joe and Gary dodge bullets from the remaining turret and make it to the door, where Joe quickly whips out a hacking device which he attaches to the door.

Meanwhile, Chris picks up the UZIs from two dead guards and starts firing double fisted, covering Sarah as she leaps towards the door.

Just as they get there, Joe hacks the door open and they get inside.

President Baldwin is preparing for his State of the Union speech. A camera and lighting crew are setting up as Mr. Baldwin sits in his important chair, while two makeup artists work on him.

Mr. Sean Penn bursts through the oval office doors.

Mr. Baldwin snaps the makeup bib from around his neck.

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS as the actors all start grabbing guns and ammo.

Mr. Baldwin sits down at his desk.

The prestigious dining room is dark and empty as the team members make their way in with lights on their heads cutting through the dark.

An incredible amount of bullets start to fly into the room, along with a small explosion that blows the dining room table into the air.

The team members jump behind the table. Chris stands up and returns some fire, then ducks back down.

Now several other actors appear with huge guns, firing away.

Joe looks surprised.

The two touch hands as bullets continue to fly. Joe and Sarah somersault away.

Chris stands and charges at George Clooney and Liv Tyler. Gary follows.

In slo mo, Chris and Gary fire their weapons and Mr. Clooney and Ms. Tyler fly back in a washout of blood.

Joe and Sarah run down the hallway, adorned with pictures of Presidents.

Mr. Glover sees the two coming and pulls Mr. Penn into a room.

Chris and Gary chase after them.

They head inside the door.

Too late, Mr. Glover hits a button and thick glass doors fly up on both sides of the room, trapping Sarah and Joe inside.

Joe and Sarah fire at the glass in front of Mr. Glover and Mr. Penn, but nothing happens - except that they run out of ammo.

Behind the glass, Mr. Penn and Mr. Glover laugh maniacally.

Mr. Penn hits a button and two doors inside the chamber slowly open.

Two huge panthers step out onto the floor (REAL, HOUSE CATS).

Joe and Sarah back away with fear as the menacing cats approach, licking their chops.

Chris and Gary burst into the Green room to find Susan Sarandon tied up in a chair.

Gary and Chris look at each other.

Chris steps towards Mrs. Sarandon but Gary puts a hand on Chris's shoulder, stopping him.

Chris turns his head back to Mrs. Sarandon.

Mrs. Sarandon stands up, both hands free to whip out UZI automatics, completely surprising Chris. She aims them at a helpless Chris. As she prepares to fire, she lets out a predator type yell.

But Gary is too fast, he raises his gun and blows Mrs. Sarandon through a window just as she's about to fire.

They hear gunshots and a scream.

The cats continue to walk towards Joe and Sarah, who are backed up all the way against the rear glass now.

Mr. Penn and Mr. Glover laugh from the opposite side of the room. Waiting to watch the team members be mauled.

Joe takes a step forward and puts up his fists.

But Sarah steps in front of him.

Sarah closes her eyes and approaches the cats with her arm outstretched.

The cats stop, look at Sarah, and then turn around and look at Mr. Glover and Mr. Penn.

Mr. Penn and Mr. Glover nervously back away from the glass.

In an instant, the cats pounce. Mr. Penn tries to run but it is hopeless. The cats shatter through the glass-

The cats attack Mr. Penn and Mr. Glover, immediately tearing apart and eating the flesh from their convulsing puppet bodies.

Sarah turns and smiles at Joe, who can't believe his eyes.

Mr. Baldwin sits at the Presidential desk, hands folded, speaking eloquently to camera for his State of the Union address.

Baldwin glances over to the approval rating meter.

It goes from 30% to 38%.

Gary and Chris run out of the green room to find Sarah and Joe running up.

That's when Joe notices-

The team members all spin around and shoot and kill the two actors before they can fire their weapons.

The main lobby of the White House is empty as the team members make their way through.

Spottswoode looks at his monitors.

But it's too late -- The lobby lights up and loud whirring sounds are heard. The part of the floor the team members are standing on suddenly raises and becomes a cage.

The team is trapped, as the last of the actors, all ten of them saunter into the room with their weapons.

Suddenly all the weapons fly out of the team members' hands' and stick to the roof.

Huge turrets come down from the ceiling, and point at the team, who hold onto each other.

The turrets start to spin.

Suddenly, the turrets all turn and point at the actors.

The actors' faces drop and they slowly back away.

The turrets fire and blow all the actors to pieces in a wonderful blood bath.

The President's speech continues to camera. The approval rating is nudging up.

BLAM!!!

The Oval Office doors blow open and there is Team America, looking awesome in the rising smoke.

Baldwin stands up from his desk, but is sure to remain in view of the camera.

The crowd of cameramen and techies look at one another and then clap for Baldwin's eloquent speech.

The approval rating goes from 75 to 76 percent. Baldwin smiles.

But Gary takes a few steps forward, into the camera's view, and begins to deliver his own fine monologue. Time for an actor's showdown.

People in the crowd look at one another and applaud for Gary's fine acting.

The Presidential approval rating drops by 2 percent.

More applause from the audience. The approval rating goes back up a percent.

Everything gets silent again as the camera slowly tracks in on Gary and music swells up.

Gary knows he has to pull off the acting job of his life.

Music swells triumphantly. The crowd roars into applause and cheers. The approval rating for the President starts to plummet.

No one applauds. The approval meter is falling. Alec Baldwin looks around.

Mr. Baldwin draws his gun.

But all four Team America members draw their weapons and blow four, perfect holes into Baldwin's forehead.

He's dead.

After a few seconds, the crew members in the oval office shake their heads, as if snapping out of a trance.

Gary lifts his watch.

Chris lifts Mr. Baldwin's head and cuts his eye out with a knife.

Then he brings the eye over to the desk, where he passes it in front of a laser readout.

The top drawer of the desk opens, revealing important Presidential things, including a tiny, gold master lock key with 'Team America's Ships and Guns' written on it. Chris holds up the very tiny gold key.

The TRIUMPHANT MUSIC continues to play as we see three giant Hangars in the middle of the desert.

TITLE: 'DENTON STORAGE HANGARS - AMERICA'

The team members walk up to the massive, metal doors of the hangars.

Spottswoode takes out the key and inserts it into the small MASTERLOCK that holds the doors together. The small key pops the small lock open and the team members can open the doors to reveal -

Inside the hangar - all of the Team America ships and guns - a beautiful sight as the music climaxes.

It is the last showdown in San Francisco. Thousands of Asian soldiers, lead by Kim Jong Il, are converging on the burned out house where Lisa and her group took shelter.

Inside, Lisa and the soldiers are just about cooked. They all fire out of damaged windows, taking out as many commies as they can... But they just don't stop coming.

Finally, the Army private clicks his gun.

Lisa fires her M-16 in all directions, using short bursts, but it finally it runs out of ammo as well.

The Asians are breaking through the doors and windows like Zombies in a horror film.

Everyone throws down their guns and succumbs to their certain death.

The American soldiers start to cry.

Lisa holds the little girl's head to her bosom.

The soldiers get closer... closer...

But that's when a huge explosion rocks the frame, and dozens of Chinese go flying in various directions.

ZWWWWOOOM!!!! Three Team America ships fly through the skies

The American soldiers all cheer and wave their hats.

Sarah and Chris are in the cockpit of the jet, back in their garish Team America outfits. Sarah is looking through special goggles.

Gary is sitting up with Joe in the cockpit. They are also both back in Team America getups.

Gary and Joe smile at each other.

Gary grabs hold of the joystick and a targeting device flips in front of his eye.

He fires.

Asian soldier puppets come apart as they are riddled with bullets. Kim Jong Il tries to keep them fighting.

Then missiles fly from Joe and Chris' ship - and right into Kim Jong Il's mouth.

He explodes.

The Asians quickly retreat back to their battle ships.

Sarah has her eyes closed and hand raised.

The Team America Jets land as the American soldiers converge on them, laughing, cheering, and waving their hats.

Gary is first to emerge from the door, and he immediately rushes to Lisa.

The two lovers run to each other and embrace. Then Lisa takes a step back and smacks Gary full force across the jaw.

Gary holds his jaw, looks confused... Then Lisa kisses it.

The crowd cheers and Gary steps forward to soak it all in with a beaming smile.

Spottswoode gestures over to GARY'S PARENTS! Who step forward sheepishly.

Spottswoode steps forward to defend Gary.

Gary's eyes pop.

The crowd cheers wildly for all of Team America.

Happy, ending music swells up as we cut first to-

The Germans are marching in the streets of Paris. Some French resistors are waving French flags but being shot by the Germans.

But then -- SWOOSH! The Team America Jet flies into frame and starts shooting at all of the Germans.

The French people all CHEER for Team America!

A shot of London, with Big Ben and Parliament. The English are all fighting amongst the Irish, rioting in the streets, killing each other, until--

The Team America jets fly in and shoot their missiles.

The English cheer for Team America!

The opera house is the key feature that let's us know where we are now in - Australia - where a bloody war rages between Australians and their Indonesian invaders.

But wait! Again Team America flies in, shooting missiles and destroying the opera house, stopping the fighting and saving the day.

Both the Indonesians AND the Australians CHEER for Team America!

The Team America ships fly over Kim Jong Il's underwater base and drop a bomb on it.

Gary and Lisa kiss as they fire more missiles and a heart shaped wipe takes us to black.

THE END.