"SWINGERS" (1996)

Swingers(1996)moviescriptbyJonFavreau.Thirddraft,December13,1994.

ThesoundtrackopenswithFrankSinatra’s"FlyMetothe Moon".

A HELICOPTERSHOTOFTHEL.A.basin.

Thepool ofgoldenlightdisintegratesintothethousandsof pointswhichconstituteitaswe rapidlydrawclosertothe city.

We arejustabovethetops ofthehighestbuildingsaswe

thrustofsearchlightsrotatingonthecornerof Hollywood andVine.

We continuewest,thenquicklynorth.

Thereis themomentaryappearanceofthemoonlitHOLLYWOOD Signas wepassthe blinkingredbeaconoftheCapital RecordsbuildinganddropintoFranklinavenueandoverthe

ArchitecturalremnantsofHollywood’spastwhipup.Weare headingeastattreetoplevel. Awarm glowinthe distance quicklygrowsintoamodestcommercialstripwhichincludes cafes,bookstores,andatheater.

We droptoeye levelaswe spythroughtheplateglass showcasewindowofthe"BourgeoisPig"coffeehouse,which holdsthetranslucentreflectionofthefullmoon.

A cigarettewedgedbetweenknucklessmoulders.MIKEtakes thelast dragwithgreateffort,thencrushesitout. He sitsin thewindowsprawledacrossaredvelvetcouchthat onceperfectlycomplementedafauxspanishfoyer.

WINDOW-NIGHT

ROBsits downnexttoMike,pouringhimselfsometea.

MIKE

Andwhatif Idon’twant togiveup on her?

ROB

Youdon’tcall.

MIKE

Butyousaid Ishouldn’tcallifI wwa annt teed d togiveup onher.

ROB

Right.

MIKE

SoI don’tcalleitherway.

ROB

Right.

MIKE

Sowhat’sthedifference?

ROB

Theonlydifferencebetweengivingupand notgivingupis ifyou takeherback whenshewantsto comeback. See,you can’tdoanythingtomakeher wantto comeback. Youcanonly dothingsto makehernotwant tocomeback.

MIKE

Sothe onlydifferenceisifI forget aboutherorpretendto forgetabouther.

ROB

Right.

MIKE

Wellthatsucks.

ROB

Ttsucks.

MIKE

Soit’salmosta retroactivedecision. SoI could,like,let’ssay,forgetabout herandwhen shecomesbackmakelikeI justpretendedtoforgetabouther.

ROB

Right...ormorelikelytheopposite.

MIKE

Right...Wait,whatdo youmean?

ROB

Imean firstyou’llpretendnottocare, notcall- whatever,andthen, eventually,youreallywon’tcare.

MIKE

Unlessshecomesbackfirst.

ROB

Ah,see,that’sthething. Somehowthey don’tcomebackuntilyoureallydon’t careanymore.

MIKE

There’stherub.

ROB

There’stherub.

MIKE

Thanks,man.Sorrywe alwaystalkabout thesamethingall thetime...

ROB

Heyman,don’tsweatit.

MIKE

...it’sjustthatyou’vebeenthere. Youradvicereallyhelps.

ROB

Noproblem.

MIKE

Rob,I justwantyouto know,you’rethe onlyoneI cantalkto abouther.

ROB

Thanks.Thanks,man.

Closeup onansweringmachine.Mikepushesthebutton.

Hello,youhavef fiiv vee messages.

Mike’seyeslightup. He pacesinanticipationasthetape rewinds.

Hey,baby. It’sTrent. Ihopeyou’re feelingbetteraboutyouroldgirlfriend. Ihopemy advicehelped...

Mikefast-forwardstonextmessage.

Skippingmessage.

(malevoice)

Whatsup,Mike.If youwantto talksome moreaboutMichelle...

(synthesizedvoice)

Skippingmessage.

(femalevoice)

Mike,it’sChris. Feelingbetteryet about...?

(synthesizedvoice)

Skippingmessage.

Tensiongrowswitheveryinchof spoolingtape.Didshe leavea message?

Hi,Mike. Didshe callyet? Ifshe didn’tthenshedoesn’tdeserve...

(synthesizedvoice)

Skippingmessage.

Thelast one. It’salong shot,buthe’sgotthe faith.

Michael,thisisGrandma.I wantto know ifyou gottheparton thattelevision program.I toldthewholefamilyand they’reveryexcitedtoknowif...

(synthesizedvoice)

Skippingmessage.Endoffinalmessage.

Shit.

Youhaveto putthingsinperspective.

Iknow,I know.

You’vebeenthroughworse.

MIKE

You'reright.I know.

EversinceI’veknownyou.

MIKE

Tdon’tknow aboutthat.

MovingherefromNewYorkwas muchmore ofan adjustmentthanthis.

MIKE

Itdidn’tfeelthatway.

That’sbecauseitwasa challenge.You hascontroloveryou’resituation.It washard,butyou rosetoit.

MIKE

Okay. I’11thinkaboutthat. Bye.

Youreallyshould.Life,afterall, is reallyjustaseriesof challenges...

Enough.I’vegot touse thephone.

AreyoucallingHer?

MIKE

No. Stop,comeon.

TheLED goesblackasthe machinebeepsoff.Mikepicksup thephoneand hitsautodial.

Machinebeepsoff. Phoneringsagain,thenisanswered.

Hello?

MIKE

S’upTrent?

TRENT

Lemmegetoffthe otherline,baby.

We heartheclicksofcall-waiting-holdlimbo.Thesilence is interrupted.

YoushouldcallyourGrandmother.

MIKE

Shuddup.

ThatwasSue. We gottwoparties tonight.One’sfora modelingagency.

MIKE

ITdon’tknow...

TRENT

Listentome,baby,thereare goingtobe beautifulbabiesthere.

MIKE

Trent,Idon’tfeellike goingout tonight.I gotshitto dotomorrow...

TRENT

Listentoyou. JIgotan auditionfora pilotatnineand I’mgoing. Yougotta getoutwith somebeautifulbabies.You can’tsithomethinkingabouther.

MIKE

Tdon’tknow...

TRENT

Idon’tknow,I don’tknow-listento you. We’regonnahavefuntonight.We gottagetyouout ofthatstuffy apartment.

MIKE

We’ regonnaspendhalfthenightdriving aroundtheHillslookingforthisparty andthenleavingcauseitsucks,then we’regonnalookforthisotherpartyyou heardabout.But, Trent,alltheparties andbars,theyall suck.I spendhalf thenighttryingtotalk tosomegirl who’seyesaredartingaroundtosee if there’ssomeoneelsesheshouldbe talkingto.And it’slikeI’m supposed tobe allhappycauseshe’swearinga backpack.Halfof themarenastyskanks whowouldn’tbeshitif theyweren’t surroundedbyabunchof drunkenhorny assholes.I’mnot gonnabeoneof those assholes.It’sfuckingdepressing.Some skankwhoisn’thalfthewomanmy girlfriendisisgonnafrontmme e? It makesmewantto puke.

Yougotit bad,baby. YouneedVegas.

MIKE

Whatareyou talkingabout?Vegas?

TRENT

VVE EGGA ASS.

MIKE

WhatVegas?

TRENT

We’regoingtoVegas.

MIKE

When?

TRENT

Tonight,baby.

MIKE

You’recrazy.

TRENT

I’llpickyouup ina halfan hour.

MIKE

I’mnotgoingto Vegas.

TRENT

Shutup-yes youare. Nowlistento Tee. We’llstopata cashmachineonthe way.

A longthoughtfulpause.

MIKE

Tcan’tlosemore thanahundred.

TRENT

Justbringyourcard. Halfanhour.

MIKE

Wait.

TRENT

What?

MIKE

Whatareyouwearing? Imean,we should wearsuits.

TRENT

Oh...Now Mikeywantstobe ahigh roller.

MIKE

No,seriously,ifyou’redressedniceand youactlike yougamblealot, theygive youfreeshit.

TRENT

OkayBugsy. Twentyminutes.

MIKE

Weara suit,I’mtellingyouitworks.

TRENT

Bedownstairs.You’rebeautiful.

Mikeis dressedtotheninesin classicvintagethreads. He’stryingto lookateaseas hestraightenshiscufflinks. He approachesTrentwhosuavelyleansagainsthisworndown ride. He’sa tall,slim,good-lookingcat.Hissharkskin suithangswellon hislankyframeas ittaperstohis ankles. Sinatra’s"ComeFlyWithMe"onthe tapedeckadds an elegancetothescene. Theyexchangeanimpishgrinand departwithoutsayingaword. Maybethisisn’tsucha bad

idea.

TheNEEDLEIS PINNED.The gaugesareblurredbythe vibrationofthepoorlytunedengine. TheSHOTWIDENSto revealthatthe"Oil"and "Service"dummylightsareboth illuminated,causinganeerieredglowontoTRENT’swhite knuckles.

Trent’scaris red-lined.TheSWINGERSareVegasbound.Do notpass go.

Itook outthreehundred,butI’monly gonnabetwithone. I figureifwe buy alot ofchips,thepit bosswillseeand they’1lcompusallsortsof shit,then wetradebackthe chipsatthe endofthe night.You gottabecoolthough.

TRENT

I’mcool,baby. They’regonnagiveDaddy aroom,somebreakfast,maybeBennett’s Singing.

MIKE

I’mserious.This ishowyou doit. I’m tellingyou.

TRENT

Iknow. Daddy’sgonnagettheRainman Suite.Vegas,baby. We’regoingto Vegas!

MIKE

Vegas!You thinkwe’llgetthereby midnight?

TRENT

Baby,we’regonnabeup byfivehundyby midnight.Vegas,baby!

MIKE

Vegas!

Miketwistsup theChairmanoftheBoardas we...

Thetwo swingersarestartingtofrayaroundtheedgesbut areunwillingtoadmitit toeachotheror themselves.Frank hasbeen replacedbytalkradio.

TRENT

Vegas,baby!

MIKE

Vegas!

Theneedleis stillburied.

Sleepdeprivationanddesertstaticradio.

TRENT

Vegas.

MIKE

Vegas.

Mikeis sleepinginthepassengerseat.

TRENT

Wakeup,baby.

Whu?

TRENT

Lookatit, baby.Vegas,baby!

Trentpointsouta mountainrange.It isnowthe onlything

thedesertsky isaccentuatedbytheloudslashingofthe cobaltandrubylasersemanatingfromasourcemaskedby thecraggypeaks. Mikeslowlystirsfromhisslumber. Heis transfixedbythisaffrontationofnature.Itis hisfirst glimpseofthe citywithoutGod.

Vegas.

Theshrillcry ofBasie’sfatbrasssectionheraldsthe arrivalofthe youngswingers.Theireyesdrinkeverywatt of goldenlightasSinatra’scrooningurgesthemon.

Mikehas eitherhadenoughsleeporso littlethatitno longermatters.Eitherway,there’snoturningback.

Theyrollup toa casinovalet. TILTUPto askulland crossboneswhichloomsoverhead.

Thetwo guyswalkandtalk downafluorescenthallway.Itis wellpastmidnightandthe onlypatronsatthishourare touriststoodrunktosleepand compulsivegamblerswhosnuck outof theirroomswithoutwakingtheirwives.

It isa weeknightanditisbeginningtobecomepainfully obviousthatourboysare overdressed.

Thedecoris nauticalplaster.Castingsofbeardedmenwith primitiveprosthesisclutchingdaggersbetweentheirteeth areeverywhere.

Allof yeoldepromenadeshoppesareclosed.

PiratesofthefuckingCaribbean.

TRENT

Thisisthe hotnewplace,besides,you lovepirates.Tellme Mikeydoesn’tlove pirates.

MIKE

Thisisfuckin’post-pubescent Disneyland.

TRENT

Yougottalovethepirates,baby. The piratesaremmo onne eyy.

ThecorridoremptiesintotheequallykitchCASINO.

MIKE

Thisplaceisdead. I thoughtthiswas thecitythatneversleeps.

TRENT

That’sNewYork,baby. Youshouldknow that. Lookatthewaitresses.I’m gonna getme apeg-legbaby.

MIKE

They’ reallskanks.

TRENT

Baby,therearebeautifulbabieshere.

MIKE

Tee,thebeautifulbabiesdon’twork Wednesdaysmidnighttosix.Thisis the skankshift.

TRENT

Whatareyou talkingabout?Lookat all thehoneys.

Trentcontortshisfaceat acuteWAITRESSpassingbywitha trayof drinks.

TRENT

Arrrrg!

Thewaitresscracksasmileas shecrossesaway. Mikeis visiblyembarrassed.

MIKE

Cutthatshitout.

TRENT

Shesmiledbaby.

MIKE

That’snotcool.

TRENT

Didshe,or didshenot smile?

MIKE

Itdoesn’tmatter...

TRENT

I’mtellingyou,theylovethatshit.

MIKE

You'regonnascrewupourplan.

TRENT

We’regonnagetlaid,baby.

MIKE

Firstlet’sseewhathappensifwe play itcool.

TRENT

What? Youthinkshe’sgonnatellher pit-bossonus?

MIKE

Don’tmakefun,I thinkwecan getsome freeshitifwe don’tfuckaround.

TRENT

Who’sfuckingaround?I’mnotmakingfun. Let’sdoit,baby.

MIKE

Thetrickis tolooklikeyou don’tneed

it,thentheygive youshitforfree.

TRENT

Well,youlookmmo on neey y,baby. We both lookmmo on neey y.

Mikepointsto asemi-curtained,semi-roped-offareanearthe baccarattables.Theclienteleisclassier,butthey’re stillobviouslyoverdressed.

That’swherewemakeour scene.

TRENT

Youthinkthey’ rewatching?

MIKE

Oh,they’rewatchingallright.They’re watching.

Mikeis ata blackjacktablewithTrentathisside. The gamehaspausedto observethenewcomersasMikedrawsa billfoldoutofhis breastpocket.They’repullingitoff withonlyslightlynoticeableeffort.

MIKE

Idon’tknow,I guessI’1l1startwith threehundredin,uh,blacks.

Miketriesto handtheDEALERa handfuloftwentiesafter countingthemtwice.

DEALER

Onthe table.

MIKE

sorry?

DEALER

Youhaveto layit onthetable.

MIKE

Uh,I don’twanttobet itall.

Theotherplayersgrowimpatient.

DEALER

You’renotallowedtohandme money,sir. You'llhavetolay iton thetableifyou wantmeto changeit.

Oh...right.

Thedealerlaysout thebillssuchthatthe amountisvisible to thecameraencasedintheblackglassglobeoverhead. TrentandMike lookupat itopen-mouthedliketurkeysinthe rain.

DEALER

Blacks?

Mike’sattentionisrecapturedbythedealer,butTrent continuestryingtopeerthroughthesmokedglass.

MIKE

Huh?

DEALER

Youwantthisin blackchips.

MIKE

Sure,that’llbefine.

Thedealerchirpsoutan unintelligibleformalityandthePIT BOSSchirpstheresponse. Trent’sfocuswhipsawayfromthe cameraasboth heandMike stareatthepit bosstenfeet away.

ThedealerplunksdownthemeaslyTHREECHIPSwhichrepresent Mike’sentirecashreserve.Not quitetheeffecthehad hopedfor.

Theswingersstareatthe chips.The playersstareatthe Swingers.The dealerstaresatthepitboss.

MIKE

Doyouhave anythingsmaller?

DEALER

Yes,butI’m afraidthistablehasa

you'dbemorecomfortableatoneof our lowerstakestables.

ThedealerindicatesaFIVE-DOLLARTABLEacrosstheroom wherean HispanicwomandealstoaBLUEHAIR,aBIKER,anda COUPLEinmatchingSiegfriedandRoyT-shirts.

Theswingerslookbackto thedealerwhois nowflankedby thepit boss.

Thetensesilenceisbrokenby...

WAITRESS

Drinks?

(thentoTrent)

Howaboutyou,C Caap p’‘’nn?

Trentlooksoverto seethatit’sthe sameWAITRESSwho flashedhima smileearlier.At firsthebeginstosmile, then,rememberingthatheislockedin ahighstakesbattle ofwills,subtlyshakesheroff. She smirksandstartsto leaveuntilsheis interruptedbyMikeholdingupafinger.

It’sa balsymove,buteveryone’swatching.Thekid’sgoing forbroke.

I’llhavea vodkamartini,straightup, Shakennotstirred,verydry.

Smooth. Trentisimpressed,butmaskshispride.

One"JamesBond".

Ow. She exits.

No. Blackswillbefine.

Mikethrowsa chipinthe circle.Trentis shocked.That’s a hundredbucks.Mikeand Trentsharealook. Thedealer andthe pitbossexchangeglances.Betsare alldownandthe cardsaremeticulouslydealt.

Thedealerhas atwo showing.Mikehasbeen dealtafiveand a six-e elle evve enn.

Doubledown.

What?!?

TRENT

Doubledown,baby.You gottadoubledown onan eleven.

MIKE

Iknow,but...

TRENT

Yougottado it.

MIKE

...-outthat’sttwwooh hu unnd drre eddddoolllilaarors s. Thisisb bl looo oddmmo onneey yy...

TRENT

Ifwe don’tlooklikewe knowwhatwe’re doing,thenwemay aswell...

Everyone’swaitingforthem.

MIKE

Tknow.

Thedealer,thepit boss,andallthe playerslookonasMike dropsANOTHERBLACKCHIPinthe circlewithabarelyaudible, yetdeafening,thud.

Doubledown.

A beadofsweat.

Thesharpsnap ofa dealtcard.

It’sa seven. EEi iggh htte eeenn.

Disappointmenttwiststheirfaces.

Finallythedealerflipsoverhiscard.

It’sa king! TTw weel lvve e. Herecomesthe bust...

Flick- four. SSi ixxt teee enn! Herecomesthebust...

Flick- five. TTw ween ntty yo on nee. Groansall around,exceptforthe Swingerswhowatchtheirchipsslideawayin silence.

Mikebreaksthespellwith apluckysmilefromthepit ofhis stomach.

Surecouldusesomedinneraboutnow.

TrentandMike arewedgedbetweentheBLUEHAIRandtheBIKER At theFIVEDOLLARTABLE. Theyshareapile ofredchips.

TRENT

I’mtellingyou,baby,youa allw waay yss double downonan eleven.

MIKE

Yeah?Well obviouslynotaal lwwa ayys s!

TRENT

AAl lwwa ayys s,baby.

MIKE

I’mjustsaying,notin thisparticular case.

TRENT

Always.

MIKE

ButI lost! Howcanyou saya allwwa ay yss?!?

In themeantime,theBluehairhasbeendealtaneleven. Thiscapturestheswinger’sattention.

BLUEHAIR

Hit.

Four. F Fiif ftte eeen nall together.

BLUEHAITR

Oh... Idon’tknow... Hit.

Two. S Seev veen ntte eeenn. Dealerhasa sevenshowing.

BLUEHATR

Whatthehell-hit.

Four! T Twwe ennt tyyo on nee.

Twentyone.

PoliteapplausefromaroundthetablewhichtheBluehair humblywavesoff. Mikelooksat Trent.Daggers. Trent shrugs.

A differentPITBOSSapproaches.

PITBOSS

Wouldyoucarefor somebreakfast,ma’am?

BLUEHATR

Well...?No,I shouldn’t.Maybelater. Thankyou,though.

I’mgonnafuckinkkiil 11lyou.

Mikeis presentedastackoftwentiesbythe CASHIER,who countsthemout. Trentlookson.

CASHIER

...@ighty...onehundred...onehundred andtwentydollars.We hopetosee you backonthe highseassoon.

(politesmile)

Mikethrowshera disgustedlook,thenturnstogo. Trent strugglestocheerhimup.

TRENT

What’sthat?One twenty?You’reup twentybucks,baby.

Mikethrowshima disgustedglare.

TRENT

Well,youknow,not countingthe firsttable.

MIKE

Thanksforclarifyingthat.

TRENT

Hey,man,I’mdown too,youknow.

MIKE

Yea,howmuch?

TRENT

Idon’tknow,what? Thirty,Fortymaybe.

MIKE

Don’tgivemethat shit.You know exactlyhowmuchyoulost. What’dyou drop?

TRENT

Twenty...butI wasdownat leastfifty. I’msorry,I gothotat thecraptable.

MIKE

Youwon. There’snothingtobesorry about.You’rea winner.I’m thefuckin loser.I shouldbesorry.

TRENT

Baby,don’ttalklikethat,baby.

MIKE

Let’sjustleave.

TRENT

Baby,you’remmo onne eyy. You’rethe bbi igg winner.

MIKE

Let’sgo.

WWh hoo’ ’ss thebig winner?

Mikelooksaway,shakinghisheadin disgust.

MMi ikke eyy’ ’ss thebig winner.

Whatanasshole.

TRENT

Okay,Tee’stheasshole,butMikey’sthe bigwinner.

ThesameWAITRESSfrombeforeapproachestheswingersasthey areaboutto leave.

WAITRESS

Thereyoutwoare. I walkedaroundfor anhourwith thatstupidmartinionmy tray.

MIKE

Sorry.We gotknockedoutpretty quickly.

Acoupleof highrollerslikeyou?

MIKE

Couldyoubelieveit?

CHRISTY

Waithere,I’1lgetyou thatmartini.

MIKE

Nah,I didn’treallywantitanyway.I justwantedtoorderit.

CHRISTY

CanI getyousomethingelse? Imean, youshouldn’tleavewithoutgetting somethingforfree.

MIKE

Nothanks. Whyruina perfectnight.

BringaJamesBond formea an ndd myboy Mikey,andifyou tellthebartenderto goeasyon thewater...

(holdsupahalf-dollar)

...thisKennedyhasyournameonit. Now runalong,I’mtimingyou.

Thewaitresssmilesinspiteof herself,shakesherhead,and walksaway.

MIKE

Whatanasshole.

TRENT

Thatwasmmo on neey y. Tellme thatwasn’t money.

MIKE

Thatwasso demeaning...

TRENT

Shes smmi ille edd, baby.

MIKE

Ican’tbelievewhatan assholeyouare.

TRENT

Didshe,or didshenot smile.

MIKE

Shewassmilingatwhat anassholeyou are.

TRENT

Shewassmilingathow mmo on neey yI am,baby.

MIKE

Let’sgo. I’mnotpayingfor aroom,and ifwe don’tleavenowwe’llnevermake it.

TRENT

Leave?The honey-baby’sbringingussome cocktails.

MIKE

Whatareyou,nuts? You thinkshe’s comingback?

TRENT

Ik kn nooww she’scomingback.

MIKE

Tdon’tthinkso.

TRENT

Baby,didyouhearher? "Youshouldn’t leavewithoutgettingsomethingfor free."She wantstoparty,baby.

MIKE

Youthinkso?

TRENT

YougottagiveTee onething. He’sgood withtheladies.

MIKE

I’mtootiredfor this. Let’sjustgo.

TRENT

Baby,thisiswhatwe camefor. We met abeautifulbabyandshe likesyou.

MIKE

Shelikesy yoou u.

TRENT

Whatever.We’llsee. Daddy’sgonnaget hertobring afriend. We’1llbothget one. Idon’tcare ifI’mwithher orone

ofherbeautifulbabyfriends.

MIKE

ITdon’tknow...

TRENT

Yougottagetthat girloutof yourhead. It’stimetomove on. You’reastylish, successful,goodlookingcat.Theladies wanttolove you,youjustgottalet them.

MIKE

That’sbullshit.

TRENT

It’snot. You’remmo onne eyy. Anyof these ladieswouldbeluckytopull acat like you.

MIKE

It’sjustthatI’vebeen outofthe game solong. Trent,Iwas withherfor ssi ixx

y ye eaar rss. That’sbeforeAIDS. I’mscared.

Idon’tknow howtotalk tothem,I don’t know...

TRENT

Youcan’tthinklikethat,baby. It’s hard,Iknow. I’vebeen there.Not for Sixyears,butI know. Youjustgotta getbackout there.

MIKE

It’sjusttough,aftersleepingwith someoneyouloveforso long,tobe with someonenew...whodoesn’tknowwhatI like...andyoug goot ttta awear ajimmy...

TRENT

g goot ttta a...

MIKE

andthen I’mstrugglingtoimpress somechickwho’snothalfas classyasmy girlfriend,whoI’mnotevenreally attractedto...

TRENT

Oh£ fuue ckk that. Youdon’thaveto tryand impressanyone.YouthinkI givea shit? YouthinkI sweatthatskankywhore waitress...

Teeis interruptedbytheWAITRESSwho,thankGod,barely missedhiscomment.

Onefifty-nine,Twominutes.

WAITRESS

Twovodkamartinis,straightup,shaken notstirred,verydry,easyon thewater.

TRENT

Beautiful.Whattimeareyou off...

(readsnameplate)

Christy?

WAITRESS

Six.

Mikecan’tbelieveit. Teeis justmakingithappen.

TRENT

Calla friendandhavehermeetthe three ofus atthe LandlubberLoungeat6:01.

(Trentthrowsthehalf-dollar on hertray)

TrentandMike arelookingatmenus. They’resmokingatthe tablebecausethecan.

MIKE

Thatwasso fuckin’mmo onne eyy. It waslike that"Jedimind"shit.

TRENT

That’swhatI’mtellingyou,baby. The babieslovethatstuff. Theydon’twant allthatsensitiveshit.You start talkingtothemaboutpuppydogsand ice cream.They kkn noow wwhat youwwa an ntt. What do youthink? Youthinktheydon’t?

MIKE

Tknow. T know.

TRENT

Theyknowwhatyouwant,believeme. Pretendingisjustawasteof time. You’regonnatakethemthereeventually anyway.Don’tapologizeforit.

MIKE

I’mjusttryingtobe a gentleman,show somerespect...

TRENT

Respect,myass. Theyrespecthonesty. Youseehow theydresswhentheygo out? Theywanttobe noticed.You’rejust showingthemit’sworking.Yougottaget offthisrespectkick,baby. Thereaint nothingwrongwithlettingthemnowthat you’ remoneyandthatyouwanttoparty.

TheCOFFEESHOPWAITRESSapproachesthetable.She’scute, butnot nearlyashotas Christy.

WAITRESS

Areyoureadyto order?

MIKE

Coffee...

(pointstoTrent,whonods)

Twocoffees.It says"BreakfastAny Time",right?

WAITRESS

That’sright.

MIKE

I’llhave“pancakesintheAge of Enlightenment".

It goesoverlikea leadballoon.

WAITRESS

Andyou?

TRENT

T’llhavetheBlackbeardovereasy.

WAILTRESS

T’1lbebackwith thecoffee.

Shetakesthe menusandgoes.

Nice,baby.

MIKE

Ishould’vesaidRenaissance,right?It wentoverherhead.

TRENT

Baby,youdidfine.

"AgeofEnlightenment".Shit.Like some waitressinaLas Vegascoffeeshopis goingtoget anobscureFrench philosophicalreference.Howdemeaning. Imay aswellhave justsaid"Letme jump yourignorantbones."...

TRENT

...Baby...

MIKE

It’sjust,I thought"Renaissance" wastooExcaliber,it’sthewrongcasino. Shew woou ulld dad’'vveegottenit,though...

TRENT

Youdidfine. Don’tsweather. We’re meetingoouur r honeyssoon.You kkn noow w Christy’sfriendisgoingtobemoney.

MIKE

Ihope so.

(checkswatch)

Wegottago soon.

TRENT

Baby,relax.It’s justdownthehall. She’sgottachange...we’llbefine.

MIKE

Wedidn’tdo sobadafterall.

TRENT

Baby,we’remmo onne eyy.

Miketriesto catchtheattentionoftheirwaitress,whois passingwithahuge plattercontainingaBREAKFASTBANQUET.

MIKE

Excuseme. We’reina bitof ahurry.

WAITRESS

Hangon,Voltaire.

Shepassestheirtableand setstheENTIREFEASTinfrontof theBLUEHAIRfromthecasinowho sitsalone.

BLUEHAIR

Isaid ttw woo loxplatters.This isn’t thirtydollarsworthoffood. Ihavea tth hiir rtty y ddo olll laar rvoucher. Thisisn’tmy firsttimeinVegas,you know.

Christyisat thebarwearingacid-washedjeanswitha matchingdenimtop. She’ssexyina patheticmid-eighties sortof way. She’ssittingnexttoa prettybrunette,LISA, dressedina similarfashion.

Thereis somethingbizarreaboutherappearance.Herhairis

makeupjobis almosttheatrical,withbrightpink/redlips. Shecan’tbe t thha att outof it,orcan she?

Thegirlshave alreadybeenflankedbyaherdof potential COURTIERS.

TheSWINGERSsaunterupto thegirlsina smooth,SLOW-MOTION SHOT.

Thegirlsnoticethem.

ThecourtierssensetheirrejectionandpartliketheRedSea forthe Swingersinperfectslow-motionchoreography.

CHRISTY

Hi,boys,we almostgaveupon you.

TRENT

Oh,arewe late? Thereareno clocksin thistown.

CHRISTY

Well,noharmdone. Thisis Lisa. I’m sorry,Inevergot yournames...

MIKE

I’mMike...

(withcontempt)

andthisis myfriend"DoubledownTrent".

Stop.

(thentothegirls)

Ladies,don’tyoudoubledownonan eleven?

CHRISTY

AAl lwwa ayys Ss...

LISA

Nomatterw whha att...like splittingaces.

MIKE

Whatever.

TRENT

Hello,Lisa.I’m Trent.What alovely makeupjob.

CHRISTY

Lisaworksatthe MGMGrand...

I’ma "Dorothy".

Oh...aD Do orro otthhy y.

MIKE

Well...we’renotinKansasanymore.

Anotherleadballoon.Uncomfortablesilence.

CHRISTY

Whatdoyou guysdo?

MIKE

I’ma comedian.

Moreuncomfortablesilence.

LISA

Doyou everperformouthere? I’dlove tosee you.

MIKE

No..

LISA

Youshould.A lot ofcomicsplayVegas.

MIKE

Well,I’mafraidit’snotthat easy...

LISA

Whynot?

MIKE

Therearedifferentcircuits...it’shard toexplain...youwouldn’tunderstand...

LISA

Who’syourbookingagent?

Oh? Youknowaboutbookingagents...I don’t,uh,actuallyhaveawwe es stt c cooa asst t agentasof yet...

LISA

Well,whorepresentsyoubackeast?

MIKE

Actually,it’sfunnyyou...I’m actually,uh,bbe ettwwe ee enn...

LISA

Whatdoyou do,Trent?

TRENT

I’ma producer.

BOTHGIRLS

Wow...Oooh...Ahhh...

Mikerollshis eyesathow fullofshithe is.

CHRISTY

Listen,I’mnotreallyallowedtodrink here.We shouldgosomeplaceelse. How’smyplace?

Theswingersexchangeaglance.

Beat.

TRENT& MIKE

Soundsgoodtome...Fine...Sure

EstablishingshotofanAirstreamtrailerdugintothedesert on chocks.Trent’scarandtwo ElCaminosareparkedout front.

Thefoursome,nowsomewhatmoreintimate,sithuddledaround thefold-outtable.

They’vebeendrinkingwhiskeyandlong-neckBuds,judgingby therecyclables.

Thepairingsseemstobe Trent/Christy,Mike/Lisa.

Thecrampedcompartmentisfilledwithsecondarysmokeand laughter.

TRENT

No...no...Theworstwaswhen Iwentin forthisAfter-SchoolspecialandI’m Sittinginthewaitingroomwithall theselittlekids.I seethey’reall Signedinforthe sameroleasme...

CHRISTY

Theywereauditioningforthesamerole asyou?

TRENT

Wait...Wait...Listen...So,Icheckthe timeandplace. I’mwhereI’m supposed tobe. I callmy agent...Shesaysthey askedforme specifically...

MIKE

Whatwasthepart?

TRENT

Oh..."Iloveyou...I can’tbelieve you'redoingthis...Drugsarebad..." Whatever.After-Schoolbullshit.The roleisBrother.

MIKE

"BigBrother","LittleBrother"?

TRENT

Wait...Wait...Just"Brother".SoIgo in. "Hello...Hi...Welovedyourguest spotonBaywatch...blahblahblah..." Whatever.So,I starttoread,and, Mikey,Iwasmoney. I preparedfora week. It’sastarringrole. I’m

crying...Thecastingdirector,she startscrying...

MIKE

No!

TRENT

Yes!

LISA

Ohmy God.

CHRISTY

Didyouget it?

TRENT

Wait...She’scrying. Ifinish. Ihold upmy fingerlike"Waitasecond". They sitin silencefor,like,atleastfive minutes.I lookupand theyallstart ccl laap pppi inng g,and nowthey’reaal ll1 crying. Eventhec caam meer raag guuy y.

MIKE

No! Notthe cameraguy!

TRENT

I’mtellingyou!

LISA

Sowhathappened?

TRENT

So,I sweartoGod thisisexactlywhat hesaid. Theproducersaystome... now he’sstillcrying...hesaystome that Iwas great,thatthatwasexactlywhat theywerelookingfor...

MIKE

So givemethe fuckinpart...

TRENT

Right? ...thatI nailedit...Whatever. Thenhesays it’sjustthatI’mal11iit tttl lee

o ol ldd. I’m like"Howoldis the

Brother?".He’slike,hesays thiswith astraightface,I sweartoGod,he says "HEElleev veenn."

MIKE

So,what’dyousay tohim? "D Doouub bl lee

d do owwn n."?

Theyall crackupevenmore.

TRENT

It’slike,youlookedatmy tape. You Sawmypicture. Whydid youcallme in? YouknewI wastwenty-four.

CHRISTY

Whatanasshole.

MIKE

Ibelieveit.

Theroom diesdown. Thegirlssettleintothearmsof their men. There’salot ofbodylanguageandpheromones,butnot a lotofwords.

CHRISTY

Howrudeof me. I haven’tgivenyouthe tour.

Shegetsup andleadsTrentinto thesleepingcompartmentto therear. The doorslapsshut.

Mikeand Lisa,inallher made-upglory,lookintoeach otherseyes.

Trentis alreadyatwork. He’ssmooth.A cascadeofstuffed animalstumbleoffthebedwith everythrust.Clothesstart topeel off.

Trenttakesa breather.Hetakesa stepto thedoor.

TRENT

Letme justcheckonmy boy.

CHRISTY

Don’tworry.He’s ingoodhands.

Trentcracksthedoorand peersthrough.Thelightis dim, buthe canmakeout thatthey’restartingtoneck.

He closesthedoor,satisfied.

Whata goodfriend.I canuse afriend likeyou.

(shebeckonshimbacktobed)

WhatseemedlikeneckingisactuallyLisaandMikehuddled tighthavinganintimateconversation.

I’msureshe’llcall. Sixyearsis a longtime. Youdon’tjustbreakit off cleanlyaftersixyears.

MIKE

Iknow,but shedid. She’swithsomeone elsenow...

LISA

Already?Youpoor thing.It won’tlast.

MIKE

Whynot?

LISA

It’sa rebound.

MIKE

WWe ewere arebound,andwe lastedsix years.

LISA

Yeah,buthowlongwas therelationship shewasreboundingf£frroom m?

MIKE

Sixyears.

Beat.

MIKE

CanI checkmymessages?I havea callingcard.

LISA

Sure,Iguess. Thephone’sin theback.

Mikegetsup andapproachesthedoor.

MIKE

Sorry,it’sjustthat...

LISA

Tunderstand.

Mikelightlyknocksonthe door.

MIKE

Trent...

(knockknock)

Tee.

Thedoor cracks.

MIKE

Sorry,man,Ineed...

Trentpokesa CONDOMthroughthedoor.

MIKE

No,man. I needtouse thephone.

TRENT

What?

MIKE

Igottause thephone.

TRENT

Baby,you’llcheckthemtomorrow.

MIKE

Please,Tee.I haveto usethephone. sorry,man.

TRENT

Holdon.

Thedoor closes.

Ihope I’mnotinterruptinganything. Theyweren’tintherethatlong.

Lisareassuringlyshakesherhead.

Beat.

ChristywalksoutwearingonlyTrent’ssharkskinjacketasa robe.

Trentfollowswitha towelwrappedaroundhiswaist.

TrentglaresatMike astheypass. Daggers.

I’vegota callingcard,there’sno chargetoyourphone.

Mikedials.

HalfnakedTrentand ChristysitwithfullyclothedLisa.

Thepoorthing. Sixyears?

LISA

Andshe’swith someoneelse.

CHRISTY

Thepoorthing. I’11lmakesomecoffee.

Trentis nothappy.

Mikeis onthephone.

Shedidn’tcall.

DisappointmentpullsatMike’sbrow.

Thegirlscleanup thebottlesandashtrays.The coffeeis brewing.The shadesareup. It’sofficiallymorning.

Trent’schinisin hishand. He radiatesthebluetingeof glandularcongestion.He’llhavenopartof anyofthis.

CHRISTY

He’ssosweet. He reallysaidthat?

LISA

Ibelieveit too. Hereallyjustwants hertobe happy.

CHRISTY

Heis sso o sweet.

Mikeenters.

Thegirlsimmediatelystoptheirchatterandlookathim in anticipation.

Mikeshakeshishead "no".

Thegirlswalk toembracehimin consolation.

BOTHGIRLS

Awwww.

Trentjustshakeshishead. He’llhaveno partof anyof this.

EstablishingwhotofTrent’scarheadingbacktoL.A.on the northboundI-15.Thespeedingcaris dwarfedbythe expansivebadlands.

MIKE

Sheaskedmewhat Iwas thinkingabout? WhatshouldIhave done?Lie?

TRENT

Youdidn’thaveto getintoit,baby.

MIKE

Sorryaboutinterrupting...

TRENT

Don’tworryaboutme,baby. I just wantedyoutohave agoodtime.

MIKE

Christywasnice...

TRENT

Ididn’tevenlike her,tobe honest.

MIKE

Shewashot.

TRENT

Shereallydidn’tdoit forme,baby. How’dyoulikeDorothy?

MIKE

Idon’tknow. Thewhole JudyGarland thingkindofturnedme on. Doesthat makesmesomekind offag?

TRENT

No,baby. You’remoney.

MIKE

Shedidn’tlikeme,anyway.

TRENT

Shethoughtyouweremoney.

MIKE

Tdon’tthinkso.

TRENT

Iheardthem talking.Theyboththought youweremoney.

MIKE

Yeah,agood friend.

TRENT

Baby,youtakeyoursse ellf fout ofthe game. Youstarttalkingaboutpuppydogsand icecream,ofcourseit’sgonnabe onthe friendtip.

MIKE

Ijust don’tthinkshelikedmein that way.

TRENT

Baby,you’resomoneyyoudon’teven knowit.

MIKE

Tee,girlsdon’tgofor metheway they gofor you.

TRENT

Michellewentforyou,right.

MIKE

Thatwasdifferent.

TRENT

How?

MIKE

Iwas younger...Itwascollege.You didn’tgoto college,youdon’tknowwhat it’slike. Youscrewchicksyouhaveno businessbeingwith.They’reyoung,they don’tknowanybetter.

TRENT

That’sjustplainsilly.Your self- esteemisjustlowbecauseshe’swith someoneelse.But thinkingaboutitand talkingaboutitallthe timeisbad. It’snogood,man. You gottagetout there.The ladieswanttoloveyou, baby.

MIKE

Ijust needsometime...

TRENT

Why? Soyou canbeatyourselfup? Sittingaroundinthatstuffyapartment. It’sjustplainbadfor you,man. It’s depressing.You’vecomesofar. Rememberthefirstweek?Aftershe told you? Youcouldn’teveneat.

MIKE

Don’tremindme.

TRENT

Youjustsat arounddrinkingorange juice.Now lookatyou. Lookhow far you'vecomeinjusta fewmonths. You gotthatpartin thatmovie...

MIKE

addaay y...

TRENT

Whatever.It’swork. You’redoing whatyoulove. What’sshedoing?

MIKE

Sellingscrapmetal.

See? Andwhatdoesthis guyshe’swith do?

MIKE

Hedrivesa carriage.

TRENT

What?!?

Ihear hedrivesa carriagearound CentralParkorsomething.

TRENT

Please.And you’resweatinghhiimm? You’re“allthat"andyou’resweating somelawnjockey?

MIKE

Ihear she’sgettingrealfat.

TRENT

Baby,she’stheonewho shouldbe thinkingaboutyyoou u. Soundstome like youcutloosesome deadweight.Trust me,Mikey,you’rebetteroff.

TrentcrankssomeFrank. "YouMakeMe FeelSoYoung".

Mikeis finally,genuinely,smiling.

He turnsdownthemusicenoughtotalk.

MIKE

I’mgonnatry. I’mreallygonnatry.

TrentjustsmilesandcranksFrankbackup

Trent’scardrivesoffintothe distance.A signreads: "LosAngeles- 270miles".

EstablishingshotofMIKEandROBteeingoffwith nineirons.

Robwearsa Yalesweatshirt.Mikewearsone fromQueens College.A Metscap shadeshiseyes.Neitherhaveshaved and,oddsare, neithershowered.Theyeachcarryaloose ninebladeandputteras theywandertotheirlie.

ROB

Idon’tthinkI’m gonnatakeit.

MIKE

I’sa gig.

ROB

Imean,I needthemoney.

MIKE

You'reanactor. FindtheZen inthe role.

ROB

It’sdefinitelyastepbackforme.

MIKE

Look,there’snotmuchofa callfor Shakespeareinthistown.

ROB

There’sjustsomethingaboutbeing "Goofy".AnyotherDisneycharacter wouldbefine. There’sjustthisstigma associatedwiththecharacter.

MIKE

Whatdoyou want?You’retall.

ROB

Doyou realizehowhardit’sgoingtobe totellmy parents?I stillhaven’ttold themI didn’tgetthepilot.

MIKE

Youtestedovera monthago. I’msure theyfigureditoutby now.

ROB

It’slike"Hi,Mom. I’m notgoingtobe starringinthatsit-comand,ohby the way,I’mGoofy. Sendmoremoney."

Theysplitup andbothover-chipthegreenmiserably.

Mikeand Robputt.

MIKE

Haven’tyounoticedIdidn’tmention Michelleoncetoday?

ROB

Ididn’twantto sayanything.

MIKE

Why?

ROB

Idon’tknow. It’slike nottalkingto apitcherin themidstofa nohitter.

MIKE

What? Like,youdidn’twanttojinx it?

ROB

Kinda.

MIKE

Tdon’ttalk abouthert thha att much.

ROB

Ohno?

MIKE

Ididn’tmentionheroncetoday.

ROB

Well,untilnow. Tendthepin.

Mikepullsout theflagforRob’sputt. He misses.

MIKE

TheonlyreasonI mentionedheratallis tosay thatI’mnotgoingto talkabout heranymore.I thoughtyou’dappreciate that.

ROB

Ido. Goodforyou,man.

MIKE

I’vedecidedtogetout there.

(re:theball)

Goahead. Playit out.

Robputtsthe "gimme".Hemissesby aninch.

MIKE

I’mnotmakinganymore excusesfor myself.

Robtaps itin. He tendsthepinor Mike,whomisses.

ROB

Goodtohear,Mikey.

Mikeputtsagain,andmisses.

MIKE

Youwantto hitthetown tonight?

ROB

Ishouldn’t,Mike,it’saweeknight.

MIKE

Whatdoyou have?A Plutocallback?

ROB

Sure.Kick mewhenI’m down.

Mikeplunksit in.

MIKE

Count’emup.

Thetwo ofthemcountand recountastheyrevisualizeeach shotin theirhead. Throughouttheprocesstheycountunder theirbreathandpointto differentpartsofthefairwayand green.

Thetwo ofthemrevolve,point,andmumbleforan absurdly longamountof timeuntilfinally...

ROB

Howmanystrokes?

MIKE

Idon’tknow. Eightor Nine.

ROB

I’llgiveyouan eight.

(writesscore)

MIKE

What’dyouget?

ROB

Aneight.

MIKE

Lookslikewe’reina deadheatafterone hole. Thisisturningintoquitea rivalry.

Robpointsto thefar-offcrowdofa dozenIRATEGOLFERS Waitingtotee off.

ROB

Youbetterreplacethepin,Chi-Chi.The nativeslookrestless.

Firstof all,SUEis ag guuy y,and atoughguy atthat. He is wearinganL.A.Kingshome jersey.Hissweaterbearsthe sacrednumber"99", Sueislounginginfrontof theTV in armysurpluskhakicutoffsanduntiedDocMartinboots.

Suebrushesbacka shockofstraight,greasy,dirtyblonde hairas notto obscurehisviewofthe screen.Hisface glowswiththe reflectionoftheSEGAHOCKEYgameonthe set. Sueand TRENTarelockedina heavilycontestedbattleof motorreflexes.Nothingmovesbuttheireyes,thumbs,and mouths...

SUE

Bitch...Youlittlebitch!

TRENT

CheliostoRoenick...!

MIKElookson. He ismore captivatedwiththesimulated sportingeventthantheClippersgameonthe TVacrossthe room.

Electricguitarsblazeoverthestereo.

Theroom,like theguys,couldusea springcleaning.Pizza boxes,beerbottles,andfull,fullashtrays.You cantaste thesmoke.

SUE

Youlittlebitch!

MIKE

HeySue. Gretsky’sonhisass again.

TRENT

Becausehe’sabitch.

SUE

That’ssobullshit.Thisis sobullshit.

MIKE

Youshouldplayanotherteam. TheKings arebitchesinthisgame.

SUE

Hey,man. I tooktheKingsto theC Cuupp.

TRENT

againstthec coom mppu utte err.

SUE

They’reafinesseteam...

TRENT

They’reabitchteam...SSC COOR REE! RRo o€en niic ckk!

SUE

FFu ucck kit! Thatis sob buul 111s shhi itt!

MIKE

Giveitup, Sue.

ThePHONERINGS. Suepicksit upand balancesitonhis shoulderasheplays.

SUE

Hello?

(re:game)

SSh hiit t!

(backtophone)

Yeah. Theelevatordoesn’twork.

(heletsthephonedrop. Then to Mike)

It’sPinkDot. Buzzhim in- hitnine.

Mikepicksup thephoneoffthe mattedshagcarpet.He pushes"9",listens,thenhangsup.

TRENT

Iwish thegamestillhadfightsso I couldbitch-slapWayne.

MIKE

Thisversiondoesn’thavefighting?

TRENT

No. Doesn’tthatsuck?

MIKE

What? Thatwasthebestpart ofthe old game.

SUE

Idon’tknow. I guesskidswerehitting eachotherorsomething.

TRENT

Youcouldmaketheirheadsbleed,though.

SUE

Yeah...Ifyouhit themhardtheirheads bleedalloverthe iceandtheirlegs convulse.

MIKE

No.

TRENT

Yeah.

SUE

It’skindamoney,actually.

MIKE

Makesomeonebleed.

SUE

No,man,we’rein theplay-offs.

TRENT

I’1lmakeGretskybleed,thelittle bitch.

TheDELIVERYMANknockson thedoor.

SUE

Pauseit.

(Trentpausesthegame)

MIKE

Givemethe money.I’11lgetit.

WhileSuegivesMike themoney,TrentUNPAUSESthegameand checksGretskyintotheboards,leavinghimwrithingina poolof redpixels.

SUE

Youb biit tech h!

Suedivesonto Trent.Theywrestlea littletoo

overSue’sheadand startswailingonhisback.

Mikecrosses. TheCAMERAfollowshimdowna shallowhallway to thedoor. Heunlocksit.

A deliverymanofeastern-hemisphericdecentisoutofbreath fromfourflightsof stairs.HehandsMike atwelve-packof Budcans andthreepacksofMarlbororeds.

He canHEAR,butNOT SEE,thechaosensuinginthe living room.

TrentandSue areflushed.Theypause longenoughtotorment Mike.

Ishe ccu utte e? Askhim ifhe wantstostay fora cocktail!

Is heb brro owwn n?

Mikeforcesan apologeticsmile.Heisembarrassed.The deliverymandoesn’tseemtounderstandanyofthis.

Mike,outof guilt,handshima fourdollartip. Thishe seemstounderstand.He smilesandleaves.

Mikecrossesbackto themainroom.

MIKE

Youguysare suchassholes.

Aww...Hegotaway?

Trent)

Gimmemyreds. I’vebeenjonesingforan hour.

Mikethrowshima packof smokes,whichheunravelswith surgicalprecision.

Cansof beeraretossedaroundandcracked.

MIKE

Whattime’sthispartytonight?

TRENT

Itstartsat eight...

SUE

whichmeansno onewillgetthere ‘tilten.

MIKE

So,what? Eleven?

TRENT& SUE

Midnight.

MIKE

I’mgonnabringandold friendwhojust movedouthere.

TRENT

Who? Rob?

MIKE

Yeah.You methim once.

Yeah. He’sa"rounder".

SUE

What’shedo?

MIKE

He’stryingtobe anactor.

TRENT

Whata surprise...

SUE

Hownovel.

MIKEand ROBwalkdownthe dirtydesertedalleyway.Mikeis wearingbaggyslacks,DocMartinshoes,andanoversized

collarislargeand pointy,butdefinitelynotseventies. Hisensemblehasmoreof anearlysixtiesvibe.

Robhasn’tbeenat itquiteas long. He’swearingworn-in Leviesoverworn-inbootsand,theninetiesstandby,an untuckedflannel.

Mikewalkswithpurpose. Heintermittentlytriestopull openlockedsteeldoorsalongthealley. Roblooksconfused.

ROB

So,if thepartystartsateight,whyare wefirstgoingto abar atten?

MIKE

Toget adrinkbeforewemeet theguys fora biteateleven.

ROB

Oh.

(beat)

Whereisthisplace?

It’soneof these.For somereason,cool barsinL.A.have tobe veryhardto find andhaveno signsoutfront.

ROB

Thatdoesn’tsoundtoogoodforbusiness.

It’skindalikea speakeasykindof thing.It’s kindacool.It’s like you'reinon somekindofsecret. You tella chickyou’vebeensomeplace,it’s likebraggingthatyouknowhowto find it. Theonlyway youcouldknowwherea placeisis ifsomeonewhoknowsbrought youthere. Youhaveto havesomeonecome before.Thereis adirectline connectingyoubacktotheoriginal, unequivocallycool,clubpatrons.It’s kindalikeJudaism...

ROB

SoundsmorelikeAids...

MIKE

That’sprobablyamoreappropriate analogy.

At thispointtheycomeuponan unmarkedBLACKMETALDOOR, whichMikesuccessfullypullsopentoreveal...

A smoke-filled,windowless,black-walledroom.Thereare severalroundpaddedboothsliningthewalls.Theplace is packed,andthefunk standard"BrickHouse"throbsoverthe

P.A..

A HANDHELDSHOTasthetwo guysserpentinetothemirrored barat thefar endofthe room.Enshrinedinits centeris a framedphotographofSINATRAsmilinginapprovalashe presidesovertheevening’sactivities.

Mikeproudlypointsoutthephototo Rob.

MIKE

Kindamoney,huh?

Classy.

Mikecatchestheattentionofa cutefemaleBARTENDER.

MIKE

I’llgeta Dewarsrocks...

(LookstoRob)

ROB

Bud.

MIKE

..-ADewarsonthe rocksanda Bud, please.

Shegoes.

ROB

Ican’tget overhowcutethe girlsin thiscityare.

MIKE

Iknow. It’slike theoppositeof

aroundtheworldmigratetothisgene pool.

ROB

Darwinismatitsbest.

MIKE

T’vebeenaroundheresixmonthsand I stillcan’tgetoverit.

ROB

It’slike,e evve erry yd daay y Isee abeautiful woman.I’m notusedto that. I’mused toseeinga beautifulwoman,Idon’t know,onceaweek. I can’thandleit.

MIKE

Waittillsummer. Iswear,youcan’t leavethehouse. Ithurts. It physicallyhurts.

ROB

ITcan’twaittillIactuallygetto touch

oneof them.

MIKE

Ah,there’stherub...

ROB

There’stherub.

Thebartenderservesthemtheirdrinks.

WhassupMikey?

Miketurnsto seeCHARLES.A youngblackmanwith atight Dolomitefro. Hewearsa blackleatherblazeroverablack turtleneck.Justlookup "cool"inthedictionary.

A handshaketurnsintoahug.

MIKE

Charles!What’sup,man?

CHARLES

Oh. Youknow.

MIKE

Didyou,um, didyouget thatpilot?

CHARLES

No,man. I knowyoudidn’tgetit ’cause youwouldn’t’veaskedme.It wasn’tthat funnyanyway...

MIKE

pieceof shit.Listen,Charles,this ismy friendRobfromBackEast.

Shake.

CHARLES

Hi

ROB

Mypleasure.

MIKE

Charlesandmewentto networkonthis pilottogether.

ROB

Ijust testedforone...

MIKE

yeah,a monthago.

CHARLES

Oh,I’msorry. How’dyourfolkstakeit?

ROB

Ihaven’theardan official"no"yet.

CHARLES

Youhaven’ttoldthen,huh?

ROB

No.

CHARLES

Istillhaven’ttoldmy folksIdidn’t get"D Deee epps sppa accee 9 9". You’dthinkthey’d’a figureditoutby now,butMom keeps asking...

MIKE

andboy doesithurtwhen theyask.

CHARLES

Idon’teven tellthemaboutanythingI’m closeonanymore...

MIKE

notuntilyou bookit...

CHARLES

andeven then...

MIKE

youmightget cutout.

ROB

I’mconsideringtakingajobasa "Goofy".

CHARLES

Hey,man. Atleastit’s Disney.

MIKE

Youwantto comewithus toa partyat theChateauMarmont?Theygot abungalow andlotsof beautifulbabies.

Whynot? Thisplaceis deadanyway.

MIKE,TRENT,SUE,CHARLES,andROBsit aroundtheround

of ourboys,withtheexceptionofRob,are classilydressed. Theyweara lotof black,brown,andgraywitha splashof goldandmaroon.

TheCAMERAREVOLVESaroundthetableina repeating "ReservoirDogs"styleovertheshoulder360DEGREEPAN.

TRENT

No,baby. I gota betterone. You gottaadmitthesteadycamshotin "GGo oood dffe elll laas s"was themoney...

ROB

throughthebasementofthat restaurant...

MIKE

theCopa,in NewYork...

TRENT

throughthekitchen...

CHARLES

I heardittookfour daystolight forthatshot...

ROB

Fourdays..?

SUE

I don’tknowabout£ foouur r days...

CHARLES

That’swhatI heard...

MIKE

Maybe. Imean yougottahideallthe lights...

TRENT

It lookedmoney.

SUE

Notas moneyasthe shotfrom RRe esse errv voo1 irr D Doog gss...

ROB

Whichone?

SUE

In thebeginning.Whenthey’re walkinginslowmotion...

MIKE

Howcan youcomparethem? Tarantino totallybiteseverythingfromScorsese...

SUE

He’sd deer riiv vaat tiiv vee...

TRENT

Yougottaadmit,it lookedmoney...

CHARLES

I heardtheymadethatwholemovie fort teen ng gr raanndd...

ROB

What’sthebig deal?Everyonesteals fromeveryone.

Well,let’shitthatparty.

Thefive swingerswalkdowntheboulevardinaSLO-MOSHOT whichis extremely"derivative"ofthe"ReservoirDogs" creditsequence.

Thesceneis choreographedtoBennett’sbigbandarrangement of "OSOLEMIO",

Muffledmusicseepsthroughthedoor. Theswingersturnthe knoband enter...

Thehuge sunkenlivingroomispackedwithpeoplecongealed intocirclesofconversationandsippingcocktails.

EVERYTHINGSTOPSwhentheyenter.Themusic,the conversations,allmovement,everything.

Everyoneintheroom STARESatthemstandinginthedoorway.

Beat.

Themusicstartsbackup andeveryonereturnstotheir conversations.

Theswingersweavetheirwaythroughthecrowdto...

Theswingersfixthemselvesdrinksfromanassortmentof

topshelfbrands.

MIKE

Whothrewthisparty,anyway?

SUE

DamnedifI know...

TRENT

Beatsme...

CHARLES

ITcamewithy yoou u.

Withthat,the threeofthempeeloff toworkthe room.

ROB

What’sthatguy’sname? SSu uee?

MIKE

SSu uee. Hisdadwas bigJohnnyCashfan.

ROB

Oh,likethatsong...

MIKE

"A BoyNamedSue". Ithinkthat’s whyhe’ssucha badcat.

ROB

Him?

MIKE

He’samean dude. I’veseenhimsmasha guy’sfaceintothecurb. He knockedout histeeth...blood...Hewasjustlike Boom,Boom,Boom...fuckinnastyshit, man. He’sa niceguythough.

TrentandSue arescoutingsomeLADIESacrosstheroom.One wearsa FUNKYOVERSIZEDHAT.Intermittenteyecontacthas beenestablished.

TRENT

Oh,it’so onn, baby...

SUE

Tt’so onn.

Mikeand Robhavecomebackinto theroom. Theyscoutthe terrain.

MIKE

Therearesomany beautifulwomenhere.

ROB

It’sunbelievable.

MIKE

Igot toat leasttryonce.

ROB

You’reabettermanthan Iam, Charlie Brown.

MIKE

No,I justpromisedmyselfI’dgiveita try. Igottaget outtheresooneror later.

ROB

Gofor it,man.

Mikespotsa pairofbeautifulBLONDESinblack. They’re wearingstretchbell-bottomsandtopsthatexposetheirmid- drifts. Theseventiesneverlookedsogood.

I’mgoingin. Willyou bemy wing-man?

ROB

I’1llbeyourwinger.

Theymakethe approach.Witha greatdealofeffort,Mike catchestheirattention...

MIKE

Goodevening,ladies...

only tobe interruptedbythepartySTOPPINGtocheck anotherentrance.

Beat.

ThepartyRESUMESandthe blondesredirecttheirattentionto Mike. Heis a littleput-offbut,Godlovehim,hegetsback in there.

MIKE

Howareyou ladiesdoingthisevening?

BLONDE

Whatdoyou drive?

MIKE

I’msorry?

BLONDE

Whatkindof cca arr doyou drive?

MIKE

Oh...aCavalier.

Theblondesimmediatelyenterbackintotheirconversationas if theywereneverapproached.

Mikeand Robexchangedefeatedglances.

Onemore try.

MIKE

Tt’sred?

TrentandSue aretryingtolook likethey’renotpaying attentiontothegroupof ladiestheysawacrosstheroom.

TRENT

Isshe lookingatme,baby?

SUE

No.

TRENT

Now?

SUE

No.

TRENT

Isshe lookingnow?

SUE

NNo o! She’snot lookingatyou. She hasn’tlookedatyouo onncecee. Willyoustop askingif...Wait,she justlooked.

TRENT

see,baby?

Mikeand Robwalkup toTrentandSue.

MIKE

Howyouguys doing?

TRENT

Tt’son.

MIKE

Whichone?

MinniePearl.

Mikeand RobSTAREDIRECTLYatthegirlslikea deerin the headlights...abigno-no.

MIKE

Theonein thehat? She’scute.

TrentandSue reactwithfrustrateddisappointment.

TRENT

Whatareyou doing?

MIKE

What?

TRENT

Youlookedr riig ghht ta att her,baby.

MIKE

Shedidn’tnotice.

SUE

Yesshedid.

TRENT

Damn.Now I gottagoin early.

MIKE

I’msorry.

TRENT

Don’tsweatit,baby. Thisone’sa lay- up.

Trentcrossesaway.

SUE

How’sitgoingfor youtwo?

MIKE

Notwell.

SUE

Rejected?

ROB

Shaged.

Mike’sP.O.V.ofTrentpassingnearandthe GIRLINTHE HAT. He sayssomething,smiles,andpointstoherhat. She laughs.

SUE

Well,justwatchtheT-boneandlearn.

Trentis havingasensitiveone-on-onewiththegirlinthe hat.

GIRLIN HAT

I’vealwayswantedtobe anactress, atleastas longasI couldremember.I wentto...

UnderTrent’saffirmativeresponsewehearthefirsthaunting TUBAPULSEof theJAWSTHEME:

UUh hhhh hhh... H Huuv uuuh hhhh fh.

CLOSEUP ofMIKE’SFACEashe lookson inHORRIFIEDAWEfrom afar.

GIRLWITHCIGAR

Thenone dayafterclassmydrama teacher,theonewhodirectedtheplay, saidhethoughtI should...

ThesecondTUBAPULSEaccompaniesTrent’ssoundofagreement:

TRENT

UUh hhhhh... H Huuuuh hhh.

EXTREMECLOSEUPof MIKE’SHORRIFIEDEYES.

GIRLWITHCIGAR

I metwithan agentlastweekandI’m waitingtohear...

Thethird,andprogressivelyfaster,TUBAPULSEsoundsunder Trent’sresponseastheJAWSTHEMEbeginsto speedupand fillout:

TRENT

UUh h--H Huuh h,, U Uhh- -HHu uhh, ,UVUhh- -H Huuhh, , VUUhh - -HHu uhh...

Mike,Rob,and Suelookon.

SUE

Herecomesthekill...

Thegroup’sP.O.V.ofthe conversation.

TheJAWS THEMEreachesitsviolentcrescendoasthegirl looksintoherpurse.

Trentwinksto theboys. Smooth.

Shecomesup witha penandwritesourher phonenumber.

Trentcrossesbackasthe musicdiesaway.

Usinghisbody asa shieldsothegirl can’tsee,butsohis boyscan,he ripsup anddropsthenumberashe approaches them.

TRENT

WasI money?

MIKE

Tdon’tknow. Tt waskindof adickmove ifyou askme.

TRENT

Why,baby? What’dIdo wrong?

MIKE

Youaskedherfor hernumber,andthen youtoreit up.

TRENT

Shedidn’tsee.

MIKE

Thatdoesn’tmatter.

SUE

Thatwwa as sprettycold,dude.

TRENT

Whatwascoldaboutit?

Thedoor opens.Theparty PAUSEStolook,thenRESUMES.

TRENT

Sheofferedmeher number.Whatshould Ihave said?"No"? T Thha att would’vehurt herfeelings.Thisway shefeelslike thewinner.

Trentsmilesandwavesto heracrosstheroom. Shecoyly wavesbackandmakes a"phonesign"withher hand.Trent nodsand smiles.

TRENT

Teecan’trollwiththat,she’s"business class".

ROB

"Businessclass"?

Bigbutt...youknow,can’tflycoach.

MIKE

Ican’tbelieveyou.

Charlesapproachesthecrew.

CHARLES

They’reoutofGlenlivet.

MIKE

Whatelseis goingon?

TRENT

Wecouldhit theDresden.

OverheadLONGSHOTofthe swingersentrenchedintheCROWDED PARTY.

SUE

Yeah. Thisplaceisdead,anyway.

Theswingershavelefttheparty andareheadingtotheir cars. Theyareall parkedina row,onebehindtheother. Theyeachclimbbehindthewheel oftheirowncar. Theypull outin UNISON.

Theytravellikea trainwiththeirbumpersALMOSTTOUCHING.

47] EXT. HOLLYWOODSTREETS-NIGHT 47]

SHOTSof theCAR-TRAINdrivingandmakingturns.

"QOSOLEMIO"reprise.

Thecar-trainBREAKSUPto nose-inparkbehindthebar. They all"club"theirsteeringwheels.

TheSWINGERSloungeina boothagainstthecork-paneledwall, Sippingcocktails.TheywatchMARTYandELAYNE,theresident loungeact,performajazz fusioncoverof"StayingAlive"on synthanduprightbass. Theseventiesarealiveandwell here,butthey’restartingtoyellowaroundtheedges...

Theroom isbusy,butnot packed.

Theswingershaveallhad afew.

CHARLES

Iknowwhat you’resaying,man.I don’t knowwhatto tellyou...

ROB

Imean, doesithaveto be"G Gooo offy y"? Iwas playingHamletoff-Broadwaytwo monthsago,forcryingoutloud...

TrentandSue areinvolvedina differentconversation.They

areobservingtwoHOTGIRLSat anothercocktailtable.

Thegirlsare wearingshortplaidskirtswithblackstockings pulledupto midthigh.It’sthe "catholic-school-girl-gone- bad"look.

Thegirlsare alittletoo touchy-feelywitheachother, suggestingacertainsexualopen-mindedness.

TRENT

It’so onon.

SUE

Youthink?

TRENT

Baby,Iknow itis. It’sa blackdiamond trail...

SUE

doublediamond...

TRENT

butit’sworth therisk. Trueor false:It’sworth therisk.

SUE

True.

As theygetup toleave...

MIKE

Godblessyouguys.

Theycrossto theladies.

Mike’sP.O.V.

Thegirlsseem atfirstcold,thereceptive.Trentand Sue jointheirtableand sharesomelaughs.

Mikehalf-heartedlylookson.Heis obviouslynothappywith wherehe standsonthebell-curveofmasculinity.

Mike,lookingforanykind ofescape,crossestothebar.

Mikeunsuccessfullytriestocatchtheattentionofthe middleagedBARTENDER.

Ican’teven gett thhi iss ggu uyy to noticeme...

A cuteBLONDEsittingatthebar chucklesathiscomment.

Mikeis atfirstself-conscious,thenpushesahead.

MIKE

Youlikelaughingatthemiseryof others?

BLONDE

I’msorry,I couldn’thelpit.Let me makeitup toyou.

Sheraisesher fingerandthebartenderimmediately approaches.

BARTENDER

WhatcanI getyou?

MIKE

T’llhavea Dewarsontherocks.

He goestofix it.

MIKE

Thanks.

BLONDE

I’veseenyousomewhere...WherehaveI seenyou?

MIKE

Youevergo totheKelbo’s? OnPico?

BLONDE

maybe...

MIKE

Mondaynights?I hostan open mike...

BLONDE

You’ reacomedian?

MIKE

Yeah.

BLONDE

What’sthatlike?

Well,youknow,it’stough. A lotof traveling.Alot ofhotels...but,you know,it’sa dream...andthemoney’s reallygood.I thinkI mightbuyanother reallyexpensiveimportedcaraftermy nextgigin Vegas...

Iknow! Starbucks!I servedyouan espressoatStarbucks.

MIKE

Areyousure? Maybe...

BLONDE

Yes! Remember?Youaskedme foran application?Iintroducedyoutothe manager?

Oh,yeah...Boy, thatmust’vebeena whileago.

BLONDE

I’dsayabouttwo weeks.

MIKE

Probablyalittlelongerthanthat,but, whatever.

Youbetterpaytheman.

Mikenoticesthebartender,whohasbeenwaitingpatiently withthe drink.

Oh... Sorry.

Shechuckles. Hepaysand throwsdownatwo-dollartip apologetically.

Well,thankyou...?

BLONDE

Nikki.

MIKE

Thankyou,Nikki.

Hewalks awaykickinghimself.Heis interruptedbyTrent andSue,who bothholdup cocktailnapkinswithscribbles.

TRENT

Wegot thedigits,baby.

MIKE

Whata surprise.

TRENT

What’swrong?I sawyou talkingtothat beautifulblondebaby.

SUE

Shewascute.

MIKE

Shedidn’tlikeme...I madea foolof myself...

TRENT

Baby,don’ttalkthatway,baby...

SUE

Youareso money,andyoudon’teven know it...

TRENT

That’swhatIkeep tryingtotellhim.

(toMike)

You’ resomoney,youdon’tevenknow...

MIKE

Please,don’tmesswithmerightnow...

TRENT

We’renotmessingwithyou...

SUE

we'renot...

TRENT

You’relikethisbigbeerwith clawsand fangs...

SUE

andbig fuckin’teeth...

TRENT

andteeth...Andshe’slikethis littlebunnycoweringinthecorner...

SUE

...-shivering...

TRENT

Andyou’rejustlookingat yourclaws like"Howdo Ikillthisbunny?"..

SUE

...vou’rejustpokingatit...

TRENT

Yeah. You’rejustgentlybattingit around...andtherabbit’sallscared...

SUE

andyou gotbigclawsand fangs...

TRENT

andfangs...andyou’relike"I don’t knowwhatto do. Howdo Ikillthis bunny?"..

SUE

you’relikea bigbear.

Beat. Mikesmiles.

MIKE

You'renotjust,like,fuckingwithme?

TRENT

No,baby!

SUE

honestly...

TRENT

you’remmo on neey y...

SUE

you’resofuckinm mmmm moon neey y.

TRENT

Nowgo overthereandgetthosedigits.

SUE

You’ remoney.

Nowwhenyou talktoher,I don’twant youtobe theguy inthe PG-13moviethat everyone’spullingfor.Iwantyou tobe theguyin theratedR moviewhoyou’re notsureif youlike.

Mikenodsand, energizedbythebombardment,crossesbackto thebar andrightintothe fray.

TrentandSue rejointheotherswingers.

Swinger’sP.O.V.ofMikedecisivelyengagingherin conversation.

Shelaughs.

Outcomesthe penandthe cocktailnapkin.Bingo.

Mikecrossesbackto theswingers’tableand,usinghisbody to shieldNikki’sview,pretendstoripthenapkin.This breakstheguysup.

Mikesitsdown and,afteradmiringtheblotchynumerals, delicatelyfoldsthenapkinandpocketsit.

TRENT

see,baby. It’snotthathard.

CHARLES

818?

MIKE

Everyonereactsfavorablytothisareacode.

MIKE

Howlongdo Iwait tocall?

TRENT

Aday.

MIKE

Tomorrow?

TRENT

No...

SUE

Tomorrow,tthhe en na day.

TRENT

Yeah.

MIKE

So,twodays?

TRENT

Yeah. Iguessyou couldcallitthat.

SUE

Definitely.Twodays. That’sthe industrystandard...

I usedtowait twodays. Now everyonewaitstwodays.Threedays is kindamoneynow,don’tyouthink?

SUE

Yeah. Buttwo’senoughnotto look anxious...

TRENT

Yeah,butthreedaysis kindathe money...

Whydon’tI justwaitthreeweeksand tellherI wascleaningoutmywalletand foundhernumber...

CHARLES

thenaskwhere youmether...

MIKE

Yeah,I’1ltellherI don’trememberand thenI’1laskwhat shelookslike.

(pause)

ThenI’1llaskifwefucked. How’sthat,

Tee? Isthat"themoney"?

Theguys laugh.

TRENT

Laughallyouwant,but ifyou callto soonyoucan scareoffa nicebabywho’s readytoparty.

SUE

Don’tlistentohim. Youcallwhenever itfeelsrightto you.

MIKE

Howlongare youguysgonnawaitto call yourhoneys?

TRENT& SUE

Sixdays.

Theswingersareleavingthroughthebackdoor. Thedoorway is congestedwithanothergroupofguyswhoareentering.

A BALDGUYwitha goateebrushesbySue.

SUE

Watchwhereyou’regoing,asshole.

BALDGUY

What’dyousay,bitch?

SUE

Isaidwatchwhere you’regoing,bitch!

That’sit. Nowthey’resquaringoffinthe emptyparking lot.

Allthe baldguy’sboysfallin behindhim.All theswingers fallin behindSue. TheswingersarenothappywithSue at all.

Thetwo cliquescontrasteachotherineveryway.

Thebald guysallhavefacialhairandmultiplepierced extremitieswiththeoddneck-tattoothrowninforgood measure.

Baggydenimandboots. Potleavesand Pumas.Long,heavy keychains. Vintage1994whiteboyfaux-gansta.Theydo, however,lookbigandmean nexttoourboys.

Theearlysixtiesstylesweaterjacketsandblazersover buttondownshirtsandtaperedslacksdon’tquitehavethe samefearfactor,butthe boysdolook classy.

Theword "bitch"isgrowledoutbythe twoofthem ahalf

dozenmoretimesuntil...

Suepullsa PISTOLoutof hisbelt.

EveryoneisSCARED. Especiallytheswingers.

SUE

Nowwhat,bitch? Nowwho’sthebitch, bitch?

Thebald guysHOLDUPTHEIRHANDSand slowlybackupto their ride.

BALDGUY

Hey,man. I’mthebitch. I’m yyo ouur r bitch,okay?We’reJust gonnaleave. Okay? I’mthebitch. I’msucha bitch, Ican’tevenbegin totellyou...

Theyjumpin thecar andSPEEDAWAY.

Suebeltsthe gunandstandstalllike Clint.

TRENT

Whatthefuck..?

MIKE

Whatanasshole. Didn’tyousee"Boysin theHood"? Nowoneof uus s isgonnaget shot.

SUE

He’sabitch. He ain’tgonnadonothing.

MIKE

Youasshole.

TRENT

Youdick.

SUE

What’dyouwantme todo? Backdown? He calledmea bitch.We keptourrep.

CHARLES

Fuckrep,I’vegot acallbacktomorrow.

Charlesleaves.

ROB

Yeah,Igottabe upearlytomorrow.

Robleaves,shakenup.

MIKE

Youasshole.Why areyoucarryinga gun? What? Incasesomeonestepstoyou, snoopDogg?

SUE

Hey,man,you’renot£ frro omm here. You don’tknowhowit is. Ig gr reew wu upp in L.A....

TRENT

Anaheim...

SUE

Whatever.Thingsaredifferenthere. It’snotlikeNew York,Mikey.

MIKE

Yeah. Hereit’seasiertoavoidtrouble. It’snotlikeyou likeinComptonwhere bulletsarewhizzingbyyourheadevery day. Nobody’smuggingyouonnosubway. InNew Yorkthetroublefindsyou. Out hereyougottago lookforit...

SUE

Peoplegetcarjacked...

TRENT

Oh,who wouldjackyourfuckinK-car? He’sright,Sue. Youdon’tneedno gat.

SUE

Listen.JustbecauseI wastheonly one withtheballsto standupto them...

TRENT

Oh yeah,like"CypressHill"was gonnadoanything...

MIKE

Youlivein sucha fantasyworld...

SUE

Whataboutyou,Mikey? AtleastI got balls.You’realwayswhiningaboutsome bitchwhodumpedyoua yearago...

MIKE

Itwas sixmonths,andshe didn’t dump...

SUE

Whatever.You’relikea whining littlewoman.Big deal.You gota fuckin’number.Whoopee!You’llfuckit up...

TRENT

sue...

SUE

Haveyougottenlaido onnc cee sinceyoumoved here? Didyoufuckonce?

TRENT

Shutup, Sue...

SUE

Iknow fora factyouhaven’t,because younevershutup aboutit. Yourlikea littlewhineybitch...

TRENT

Sue!

MIKE

No,Trent. He’sright.

Mikewalksto hiscar.

TRENT

Mikey!

It’stoo late.He’s leaving.

Suestartsto openhismouth.

TRENT

Don’teventalktome.

(pause)

Youa asss shho olle e.

Mikeopensthe doorandflicksonthe lightsinhissparsely furnishedsingle.

He dropshiskeyson thetableandmakesa beelineto the answeringmachine.

Hepushesthe button.

Shedidn’tcall.

Mikecollapsesintohisfutonandlightsa smoke.

Beat.

Hepulls outtheCOCKTAILNAPKIN.He staresatthenumber.

He looksattheclock. 2:20AM.

He looksatthenapkin.

He thinksbetterofit,andputs thenapkinaway.

Beat.

He takesoutthenapkinandpicksup thephone.

ANSWERINGMACHINE

(synthesizedvoice)

Don’tdoit,Mike.

MIKE

Shutup.

He dials.

It ringstwice,then...

Hi. ThisisNikki. Leavea message.

(beep)

MIKE

Hi,Nikki. ThisisMike. I metyou tonightattheDresden. I,uh,just calledtosayI, uh,I’m reallygladwe metandyou shouldgivemea call. So callmetomorrow,or, like,intwo days, whatever.Mynumberis 213-555-4679...

(beep)

Mikehangsup.

Beat.

He dialsagain.

Hi. ThisisNikki. Leavea message.

(beep)

MIKE

Hi,Nikki. ThisisMike,again. I just calledbecauseitsoundedlikeyour machinemight’vecutmeoffbeforeI gave youmy number,andalsotosay sorryfor callingsolate,butyouwere stillthere whenI lefttheDresden,soI knewI’d getyourmachine.Anyway,my number is...

(beep)

Mikecallsbackrightaway.

Hi. ThisisNikki. Leavea message.

(beep)

MIKE

213-555-4679.That’sall.I justwanted toleavemy number.I don’twantyouto thinkI’mweird,ordesperateor something...

(heregretssayingit immediately)

I mean,youknow,we shouldjust hangout. That’sit. Noexpectations. Just,youknow, hangout. Bye.

(beep)

He hangsup.

Beat.

He dials.

Hi. ThisisNikki.Leavesa message.

(beep)

MIKE

Ijust gotoutof asix-year relationship.Okay?Thatshouldhelpto explainwhyI’mactingsoweird. It’s notyou. It’sme. I justwantedto say that. Sorry.

(pause)

ThisisMike.

(beep)

He dialsagain.There’snoturningback.

Hi. ThisisNikki. Leavea message.

(beep)

MIKE

Hi,Nikki. ThisisMike again.Couldyou justcallmewhen yougetin? I’11beup forawhile,andI’djust rathertalkto youinpersoninsteadof tryingto squeezeitall...

(beep)

He dialsyetagain.

Hi. ThisisNikki. Leavea message.

(beep)

MIKE

Hi,Nikki. Mike. Idon’tthinkthisis workingout.I thinkyou’regreat,but maybeweshouldjusttakesome timeoff fromeachother. It’snotyou,really. It’sme. It’sonlybeen sixmonths...

Mike?

MIKE

Nikki!Great! Didyou justwalkin,or wereyoulisteningallalong?

Don’tcallmeever again.

MIKE

Wow,I guessyouwerehome...

(click)

Shehung upon him.

He’sfrozen.

He hangsup.

Beat.

Hepulls thecomforteroffthefutonandcurlsup inthe cornerofthe room.

MONTAGEFLASHBACK:

Thefollowingsequenceism.o.s.overBillieHoliday’s"Maybe You'llBeThere."

doesn’tseehimlookingather. Sheispayingattentionto thelesson.

MikeapproachesMichellefortheFIRSTTIME.She looks beautifulwhenshelooksupat himfor thefirsttime.

They’rehavingaPICNICwithwhitewine,Cheese,prosciutto, andFrenchbread. Mikeplaysa ukulele.

MikeandMichellesitwith alap fulloffood. Theyare laughingaboutsomething.Mikeleansinforhis firstdeep,

passionateKISS.Thecrowdjumpsup tocheera Daryl Strawberryhomerunwhichtheloversdon’tnotice.They stay seated,kissing,andarelostto theCAMERAinthe crowd.

he liesundressedunderthecovers.Hesporadicallyadjusts hishair andstrikesposesashewaits forMichelletocome outof thebathroom.This isINTERCUTwithshotsofthe closedbathroomdoor.

MikeandMichelleareChristmasshoppinginthesnow. It’s likea storybook.

A newspaper,barelynoticeableonstandinb.g.,reads"VITO CORLEONEFEAREDMURDERED"

half-heartedlywatcharentedvideoastheyshovelChinese take-outintotheirbloatingfaces.

MikeandMichellesaygoodbye. Theyhugandcry. He boards a planeforL.A..

SHOTof answeringmachine.

Pickup.... Pickup,Mikey...Are youhome?

He is.

He issittinginthe samecorner,smoking,withatwoday beard. Heis surroundedbyfullashtraysandemptyTropicana containers.BillieHoliday’s"Maybeyou’1llBeThere"draws to acloseon theC.D.player.

ITguessyou’renothome.Why don’t

youcomeout tonight,baby.Wehaven’t seenyoufor twodays. We’regonnaplay hockeyatSue’shousetilten thirtythen we’reeithergoingtotheLava Loungefor Sinatranight,ortheDerbyforthe Royal Crown.We mightalsocheckoutSwing NightattheViper. If we’renotthere we’llbeat theThreeof Clubs.So come meetupwithus. We’1llseeyouthere, gorgeous.

(beep)

He hasn’tmoved.

ThePHONERINGS.

He lookstotheansweringmachinehopefullyasitpicksup afteronering.

Mikey...?It’sRob. Pickup,buddy.

HisshouldersslackwithDISAPPOINTMENT.It’snotHer.

I’mdownstairs.Buzzme in. I know you'rehome.Your lightsareonand your car’shere. Comeon,buddy. Openup...

Mikepicksup thephone,pushes"9",andhangsup.

He lightsacigarette.

A knockatthe door.

Mikeopensit, andRobwalksin withabrownbag.

He surveysthescene.He’sseen thisbefore.He movessome laundryoffan armchairandsitsdown.

Hepulls apepperonianda loafofseminolaoutof thebag.

He handsMikeapint oforangejuice.

MIKE

Thanks,man.

ROB

Noproblem,buddy.You eatanything today?

Mikeshakeshishead,"no".

ROB

Yesterday?

Mikeshakeshishead again.

ROB

Youhaven’tbeendrinking,haveyou?

MIKE

No. JustO.dJ.

Robcuts intothepepperoniwithhisSwissarmyknife. Mike drinkshisjuice.

MIKE

SorryaboutwhathappenedattheDresden. Ihad noidea...

ROB

Don’tsweatit. NowI gotan L.A.gun story.You shouldhearthewayI tellto theguysbackhome. He hadanUzi.

Mikehalf-smiles.

Beat.

ROB

Youwantto talkaboutit?

MIKE

What’sthepoint?

ROB

It’sbeentwodays. You shouldcallthat girlNikki...

Mikegrabshis headinpain.

MIKE

Uuuuugh!

ROB

Ohboy.

MIKE

T’msuchan asshole.

ROB

Shewasn’tyourtypeanyway.

Beat.

MIKE

IthinkI’m gonnamoveBackEast.

ROB

Well,tth haat t’’s s dumb.

MIKE

What’sdumbaboutit?

ROB

Well,you’redoingsowell...

MIKE

Howam Idoingwell? I hostanopenmike andI playedafuckin’busdriverina movie.Big fuckin’deal.I’mwith an agencythatspecializesinfuckin magicians.Howgoodam Idoing?

ROB

Atleastyou didn’tgetturneddownfor Goofy...

MIKE

Theyturnedyoudown?

ROB

Theywentforsomeonewithmoretheme

thatjob.

Mikeletsit sinkin.

ROB

See,it’sallhow youlookat it. If yourlifesucks,thenmineis Godawful. Imean,I movedoutherepartially becauseIsawhow wellyouweredoing. Yougotin theunion,yougot anagent. Ithoughtif youcouldmakeit,maybeI couldtoo...

MIKE

Tdidn’tmakeit...

ROB

That’syourproblem,man.You can’tsee whatyou’vegot,onlywhatyou’velost. Thoseguysareright. Youare "money".

Mikesmiles,then...

Thenwhywon’tshe call...?

ROB

Becauseyouleft,man. She’sgotherown worldtodealwith inNewYork. Shewas asweetgirlbut fuckher. Yougotta moveon. Yougottalet goof thepast. Thefutureisso beautiful.Everydayis sosunnyouthere. It’s likeManifest Destinyman.I mean,wemade it. What’s pastisprologue. Thatwhichdoesnot killusmakesus stronger.Allthat Shit. You’llgetoverit.

MIKE

Howdidyou getoverit? I meanhow long ‘tilitstoppedhurting?

ROB

Sometimesisstillhurts.You knowhow itis,man. Imean,eachday youthink aboutitlessand less.And thenoneday youwakeup andyoudon’tthinkof itat all,andyou almostmissthatfeeling. It’skindaweird. Youmissthepain becauseitwaspartof yourlifefor so long.And the,boom,somethingreminds youof her,andyoujust smilethat bittersweetsmile.

We seethatMikehasbeen GNAWINGAWAYatRob’spepperoniand semolinaashe listensintently.

MIKE

Yoummi is sss thepain?

ROB

forthe samereasonyoumissher. Youlivedwithit solong.

MIKE

Wow.

(finishingtheloaf)

Youwannagraba bite?

Sure.

He helpsMikeup.

ROB

Bytheway, theguysbackhome saidshe puton someweight.

Youalwaysknowtherightthingto say.

Trentopensthedoor. He seesMikestandingtheredressed fortrouble. Hisfacelightsup.

TRENT

Mikey!Guys,Mikey’shere!

Mikey!

MikeHEARSthe soundofa hotlycontestedSEGAMATCH.

SUE (0.S.)

Bitch!You littlebitch!

TheCAMERAfollowsMikeandTrentinto the...

Mike’sJAWDROPSwhenhe seesthatSuehas beenplaying hockeyagainsttheBALDGUYfrom theDresden.

BALDGUY

Bitch!You bitch!

Theroom isfilledwiththeBALD GUY’SCREW.They greetMike as theytakehitsofftheirfortyouncers.

SUE

Trent.Take over.

Theydo ahigh-speed"controllerhandoff."

SuecrossestoMike.

SUE

I’mS sO0 S SOOr rrry y,Man. Youwere sso or ri iggh htt. Igot ridof thegun

MIKE

Whataretheyd do oiin ngg here?

SUE

Weran intothemthatnightatRoscoe’s. Teecleareditup, Iapologized,bought

fuckin1lo ovve eTee. Thatboy cantalk.

Allthe baldieshowlandslaphandsat somethingfunnyTee said.

SUE

Butmostimportant,man,I’msorryabout whatI said.I wasdrunk... My adrenalinewasgoing...

MIKE

Don’tsweatit,man. I neededakickin theass. We’rebetterfriendsforit.

SUE

Thanks,man.

(theyhug)

I’vebeenhatingmyselfforthelast two days.

MIKE

Believeme,Iknowwhat that’slike.

(thentoTrent)

Yo,DoubleDown! Whattimearewe leaving?

TRENT

Fiveminutes,baby.Hey,it’sbeen two days. YoushouldcallNikkiandsee if shewantstomeet youthere.

TheTHREESWINGERSarewavedpassthe linebythe doormanin a Scorsese-styleSTEADICAMSHOTwhichcontinuesupthestairs andthrougha curtaineddoorwayinto...

Theyenterthe domeddeccoloungeandthefullhouseparts forthem andgreetstheminperfectScorsesechoreography.

Theypassthe billiardtableandthecircularbrassrailbar.

Thesix pieceswingbanddeckedoutin zootsuitswailon stageas thecrowdeddancefloorwhirls.

Theswingerseventuallysettleintoadarkcurtained-off onstagebooth.

Suethrustsa scotchintoMike’shand.

Montageofsmoking,drinking,andcarousing.

Theparquetfloorispackedwith swinginghepstersdressedin Hollywood’stakeonfortiesthreads.Thedancingisfull- blownovercrowdedslamswing.Theflooris full,and everyoneisdamngood. Thisdefinitelyaintamateurnight.

Mikestepsup tothebar torefillhis drink.He seesa BRUNETTEsittingatthebar.

She’scute.

Realcute.

Sheglows.

There’ssomethingfreshabouther.She’sdressednice,but different.Shedefinitelyisnota regular.

ShethrowsMikea half-smile,thenlooksaway.

He looksaway.

Shouldhe?

He shakeshisheadtohimself. No.

Beat.

He looksoverather again.

Mike’sP.O.V.ofa WHITEBUNNYsittingonthebar stool.

He smiles,shrugs,andCROSSESTOHER.

Whenhe getstoher shehasrevertedbacktohuman form.

MIKE

Hi

BRUNETTE

Hi

MIKE

I’mMike.

BRUNETTE

Hi,Mike. I’mLorraine.

MIKE

Likethequiche?

Yes. Likethequiche.

MIKE

Ilike quiche.

BRUNETTE

Ithoughtrealmen don’tlikequiche.

MIKE

Myreputationseemstohaveprecededme.

BRUNETTE

Why? You’renota realman?

MIKE

Notlately.

TrentpointstheconversationouttoSuefromacrossthe room.

TrentandSue’sP.O.V.of MikeandLorrainehavingan unforced,enjoyableconversation.

TRENT

Tt’soonn...

SUE

it’son.

BACKIN THETRENCHES:

BRUNETTE

so Ithought,whatthehell,they makemoviesinL.A.,not inMichigan,so Imovedhere.

MIKE

Justlikethat?

BRUNETTE

Well,itwasn’tthesimple,butyeah.

MIKE

Howwasit hard?

BRUNETTE

Well,Ileft someoneveryspecialbehind.

MIKE

Tellmeaboutit...

BRUNETTE

Youtoo?

MIKE

Yeah.

IthoughtI wasgoingto die.

MIKE

It’sbeensixmonthsand I’mjust startingtogetoverit.

BRUNETTE

Oh,God. That’stwomorethanme. Tell meit getsbetter.

Ttdoes.

BRUNETTE

How?

MIKE

Well,itstillsucks,butyou startto seethatthereare advantagestobeing Single.

Likewhat?

MIKE

Whatwhat? Whatadvantages?

LORRAINE

Yousaidthereare advantagestobeing

single.I wantto knowwhatthe advantagesare.

Well...Youcantalkto abeautifulwoman ata barwithoutworryingifanyone’s watchingyou.

TrentandSue arewatchingfromacrosstheroom.

TRENT

It’son.

SUE

it’sdefinitelyon.

BRUNETTE

Whatelse?

MIKE

Whatelse...?Let’ssee... Youhave completefreedom.

BRUNETTE

Todo what?

MIKE

Idon’tknow....Togrow,to goout. Whateveryouwant.

BRUNETTE

Anything?

MIKE

Anything.

BRUNETTE

LikeifI meeta handsomeyoungmanand Iwantedto askhimto dance? Ican do that?

MIKE

Uh,if theguywantsto.

BRUNETTE

Youdon’tthinktheguy wouldfindme attractiveenoughtodancewith?

MIKE

Yes. Imean,no. Imean,maybehe would findher,I meanyouattractive.Maybe hedoesn’tliketo dance.Maybeallhe likestodo isjuststandaroundand drinkandsmokeandlook coolwithhis buddieswhodon’tdanceeither...

BRUNETTE

Maybeitdoesn’tmatterifhe’sa good dancercauseit’saslow song,ifthat’s whathe’safraidof.

No...Maybethat’snotthecase. Maybe Sheshouldn’tbesucha smuglittleshit becauseshe’dbesurprisedatwhata good dancerhereallyis,but it’sbeena long timeandhe doesn’tknowifhe’sready to..

BRUNETTE

Mike...

Shegetsup. She’sbeautiful.Sheisbeautiful.

BRUNETTE

Willyou dancewithme?

She’sin greatshape,and lookhowclassyhervintagedress looks. Avisionfromthe forties.She’stoogood forthis place. Shebelongsonthe noseofa B-52. Whatcanhe say, but...

MIKE

SureIwill.

He awkwardlyleadshertotheunusuallyemptydancefloor. TheySTARTTO DANCE.It’s aslowsong andtheyboringlyrock backand forth.Mikeis self-conscious,buthertouch.Oh hertouch.

TrentandSue watchingindisbelief.

SUE

Itis oon n.

TRENT

it 1SSssoo on.

Thecouple’sdanceiscut shortastherewereonly afewbars leftof theslowballad. Mikesmilespolitelyinreliefand beginstolead Lorraineoffthefloor.

Shepullshim back. He’snotgettingoffthateasy. She wantsa wholesong. Hepolitelyholdsher,poisedfor anotherslownumber.They’realoneon thefloor.

Muchto Mike’sdismay,thesongbeginswithaDRIVINGTOMTOM SOLO. Thiscueseveryhep catinthe Derbythatthebig one’scoming. Theyallfloodthefloorfor thelastdanceof thenight.

MikepleadinglyshakeshisheadatLorraine.It’s toofast.

Hereyes narrowashergriptightens.No sympathyhere.

Thebandbreaksinto thefull-tiltswingnumberandthedance floorwrithesaroundthem.

Theystandmotionlessforwhatseemslikean eternity.

Gutcheck. Fuckit. Sink orswim.

Mikegrabsher likeaman grabsawoman. It’sjusta simple Ssix-countswingstep,butthey’reinperfectharmony.

Mikeand Lorrainelookintoeachotherseyes.It’son, baby.

AsMike’scouragegrows,themovesstartto flow.A spinat first. Thena doubletwirl.It’snot longbeforehe’s throwingherthroughcombinationsthatstandoutevenamong thepros.

TrentandSue,mouthsagape.

Mikeis whippinghersmoothlythroughviolent-looking combinationswithoutatraceofhesitation,and,boy,canshe follow.

Theset endswitha flourishingcrescendo.They’refrozenin a finaldip,pantingthroughaglazeofcleansweat.

Mikeand Lorrainesmileandlookintoeachother’seyes.The smileslowlydisappears.Willtheykiss?

They’reclose.

Reallyclose.

Lipsalmosttouching.

Miketriesto muster-upthecourage,butit’sbeensolong.

He can’tdoit. He letsherup.

Thefloorclears. Exhausteddancerspushpastthem.Forget it. Themoment’sgone.

Whatthe hell.Theyhad a greattime.What’sthehurry?

Mikeis walkingLorrainetohercar. Theycomeupona parked Escort.

LORRAINE

Well...Thisisit.

MIKE

Listen.I hada greattime.

LORRAINE

Metoo.

MIKE

Iwouldlove toseeyou againsometime.

LORRAINE

I’1llbearound.

MIKE

That’snotgoodenough. Iwantto make planstosee you.

LORRAINE

Letme getapen outof mycar.

(opensthedoor)

Doyouhave somethingtowriteon?

Mikehandsher abusinesscard.

You'reacomedian?

MIKE

Yeah.And anactor.

LORRAINE

I’llhaveto comeseeyousometime.

MIKE

Ifandwhen Iget areal gigI’1llcall you.

LORRAINE

It’snotgoingto well?

MIKE

WhenI livedinNewYork theymadeit soundliketheyweregivingoutsit-coms tostand-upsattheairport. Igot off theplanein L.A.sixmonthsagoand all Igot toshowfor itis atan.

LORRAINE

Didn’tyoutellme tobepatientwithmy career?

MIKE

Yeah,butentertainmentlawisn’t somethingyoujustjumpinto...

LORRAINE

Neitherisacting.Not ifyou’reserious aboutit.

(Shewriteshernumberonthe card.)

CanI haveoneof these?

MIKE

Why,youlikethe duckwiththecigar?

(handsheracard)

LORRAINE

Yeah.Nice touch.It’s thelogofrom "YouBetYourLife",right?

MIKE

Goodeye. Notone clubownergotit. Theyallaskme whyI gotDonaldDuckon mycard.

LORRAINE

Hey,atleastit’s notGoofy.

Beat.

LORRAINE

Well,Ishouldbe getting...

MIKE

It’sreallygettinglate.

LORRAINE

home. It’sgettinglate. Yeah.

Beat.

LORRAINE

CanI giveyoua rideto yourcar...?

MIKE

Nah. I’mrightacrossthe street...

LORRAINE

Whichone...?

MIKE

Thered pieceofshitover there...

LORRAINE

well,it suitsyou...

MIKE

getthe hellouttaherealready...

Mikeleansin andslowlygivesherthe sweetest,softest, mostinnocentkiss.

Hebacks up. She’sgotthatgoofylookas sheunlocksher cluband startsthecar.

LORRAINE

Bye.

Shedrivesoff.

Hewatchesher go.

Mikeis drivingTrentandSuehomein hiscar.

TRENT

Youwereoff yourassbackthere! Where thehelldid youlearntodo allthat twirlywhirlyshit?

MIKE

Itook aballroomclasswithMichelle. Ineverdancedwithanyonebuther, til tonight.ThatLorrainechickisg gooo odd.

TRENT

YYo ouu weregood. Didyou seehowshe was vibingyou?

SUE

sorryman.

TRENT

Yeah.You probablycouldahitthat tonightifyoudidn’thaveto driveus home.

SUE

Definitely...

MIKE

Tt’snotlikethat...

TRENT

Don’tgivemethat! She 1li ikke edd you,man.

MIKE

Iknow shelikedme. I mean,it’snot likeIwantedto doanythingwithher tonight.

SUE

Goodforyou,man. He’sbeing smart.

MIKE

She’sreallyspecial,guys.

TRENT

Thebear’sgothis clawsback.

SUE

Besmartaboutit.

TRENT

I’mtellingyou. Waitt thhr reee edays...

SUE

Youdon’thaveto waitt thhr reee edays...

TRENT

Okay,two...

SUE

Justbe smartaboutit.

MIKE

Guys...Guys...Igotit undercontrol.

TRENT

Oh. He’sgotit undercontrol...

SUE

Well,then,I guesswedon’thaveto worryabouthhi imm anymore.

TRENT

Ourlittlebaby’sgrowingup...

Trentandsue pretendtocryandhug eachother.

Mikelooksat theminthe rearviewmirror.

He smirksandshakeshishead.

MIKE

Youguysare suchassholes.

TrentandSue screamatthetop oftheirlungsas theycruise downSunset. Alcoholisa terribledrug.

Mikeis standinginthemiddleofthe roomlookingat LORRAINE’SNUMBERonthebackof theBUSINESSCARD.

He looksattheclock.

2:45A.M.

He looksbackattheNUMBER.

Beat.

He thinksbetterofit. Hewedgesit intoa crackinthe answeringmachineandunbuttonshisshirtforbed...

ANSWERINGMACHINE

(synthesizedvoice)

Goodmove.

Mikesmirks.

Mikewakesup androllsoutof bed.

Hewalks tothephoneand pullstheCARDout ofthecrack.

He looksattheclock.

12:10PM.

He sticksitbackin thecrack.

Hemakes an"x"on a dayofhis calendar.

Mikebrusheshisteeth.

He looksatthecard clippedintotheframeofthebathroom mirror.

He turnsthefaucet,allowingexactlyONEDROPofhis preciousLosAngeleswatersupplytodripontohis toothbrush.

He resumesbrushing.

Mikesipsespressoashe staresatthe CARD.

Mikeis playingsolitairewiththeCARDlayingaboveallthe playingcards.

ThePHONERINGS.

Mikerushesto getit,thenforceshimselftowait another ringand ahalfexactly.

MIKE

Hello?

FEMALEVOICE

HiMichael.

MIKE

Michelle?

MICHELLE

How’sitgoing? It’sbeena while...

MIKE

Sixmonths.

MICHELLE

Howareyou doing?

MIKE

Fine...Iguess. You?

MICHELLE

Good.

(pause)

Ithinkaboutthings.

MIKE

Yeah?

MICHELLE

Yeah.

MIKE

Whatkindof things?

MICHELLE

Youknow,us.

MIKE

Ithoughtyoumet someoneelse.

MICHELLE

Itdoesn’tmatter.I thinkaboutyou everyday.

MIKE

Really?

MICHELLE

Imiss you,Mike.

MIKE

Whydidn’tyoucall?

MICHELLE

Icouldn’t. Doyouknow howhardit’s beennotto callyou? Ipick upthe

commercialcomeson...

MIKE

theMichelinecommercial...

MICHELLE

Yeah,withthebaby inthe tire.One timeI startedtocryrightin frontof

Pierre...

MIKE

Pierre...That’shisname?Pierre? Is heFrench?

MICHELLE

No,he’snot...ListenI don’twantto talkabouthim. That’sawholeother headache.I calledbecauseIheardyou mightbemovingbackto Queens...

TheBEEP ofMike’sCALLWAITING.

MIKE

Hangon. Letme getrid ofthiscall.

He clickstotheOTHERLINE.

MIKE

Hello?

LORRAINE

Hi,Mike?

MIKE

Lorraine?

LORRAINE

Areyouon theotherline?

MIKE

Yeah,holdon.

LORRAINE

Ican callback...

MIKE

No,no. Holdon.

He clicksbacktotheOTHERLINE.

MIKE

MICHELLE

Iheardyou mightbemovingback...

MIKE

Yeah,uh,I don’tthinkthat’sgonnabe happeninganytimesoon...Listen,can Icall yourightback? Igottatake this call...

MICHELLE

I’mnothome andgoingoutof town tomorrowforaweek. Can’tyoutalk for fivemoreminutes?

MIKE

Ireallywantto catchupwith you,but I’vegottatakethiscall. They’re holding.I’11talkwith youwhenyouget backintown. Bye.

MICHELLE

Goodbye.T lov..... (click)

MikeSWITCHESLINES,cuttingMichelleoffmid-sentence.

MIKE

Hi. Sorryaboutthat.

LORRAINE

Youdidn’thaveto getoffthe other line. Iwould’vecalledyouback.

MIKE

That’sokay.I wantedtotalk toyou.

Mikeholdshispalm overthereceiverandlooksat the answeringmachine.

Beat.

Doyou realizethatI’vebeenwaitingfor thatcallforsix monthsandI cuther off?

You’remoney,baby.

Mikesmiles.

Backto Lorraine.

MEDIUMSHOTofMike throughhiswindowashe looksdownonto Franklinavenueandtalksonthephone.

MIKE

Hi,Lorraine.Thanksforholdingon.

LORRAINE

Listen,Mike.You reallydidn’thaveto getoffthe line. Ijustwantedto ask youonething. I knowI shouldn’thave called,Imean,my friendssaidIshould waittwodays...OhGod, Iprobablysound likesucha schoolgirl...It’sjustthat it’stonightonly...Imean,it’s Sinatra’sbirthdayandtheyhavethis thingeveryyearat"TheRoom". Do you knowwherethatis? It’simpossibleto findifyou’veneverbeenthere. I don’t understandwhynoneoftheclubsin

Hollywoodhavesigns.Anyway,I’msobad atthis,if you’renotbusyI thoughtyou might...

Mikesmilesas theCAMERAPULLSBACKfromthewindowand backwardsdownFranklinAvenueinareverseofthe firstshot of themovie. ThesoundtrackkicksinwithSinatra’s"Here’s To TheLosers”....

FRANK

Here’stothosewholove nottoowisely, no,nottoo wisely,buttoowell... Tothe girlwhosighswithenvywhen she hearsthatweddingbell... Tothe guywho’dthrowaparty ifhe knew someonetocall... Here’stothelosers...Blessthemall...

...-WeriseandpasstheglowingHollywoodsign.It’sstilla fullmoon...

FRANK

Here’stothosewhodrinktheirdinners whenthatladydoesn’tshow... Tothe girlswhowaitforkisses underneaththatmistletoe... Tothe lonelysummerloverswhenthe leavesbegintofall... Here’stothelosers...Blessthemall...

Pastthe blinkingredbeaconoftheCapitalRecords building...

FRANK

HeyTom,Dickand Harry... Comeinout ofthe rain... Thosetorchesyoucarry... Mustbedrownedin champagne...

Up andoverHollywoodBoulevard.Highabovethecity...

FRANK

Here’sthelasttoastof theevening... Here’stothosewhostillbelieve... Alltheloserswillbe winners... Allthegiversshallreceive... Here’stotrouble-freetomorrows... Mayyoursorrowsallbe small... Here’stothelosers...Blessthemall.

It’s alljusta poolofbeautifulgoldenlight.

FADETOBLACK.

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