"POLICE ACADEMY" (1984)

Neal Israel & Pet Proft

Stalking dow-n the darkened hallway is a unifor;ned security guard. This is EUGENETACKLEBERRY. There's something about him that tells us he's an intense, borderline whacko. One good hint is his eyes. They dart about manically behind thick-lensed glasses, ever on the alert for trouble.

He checks the row of doors, making sure they are locked. He ca.refully approaches each doorknob as if it could blow up in his face. A dignified-looking MANin a business suit taps him on the shoulder. Startled, Tackleberry reels around and reaches for his gun, but stops short of getting it out of his holster.

HR. DOUGL\S Good night, Tackleberry.

Hr. Douglas gets into an elevator and presses his floor.

The doors start to close.

The' doors slam shut. Tackleberry goes back dow-n the hall. He finds a door that isn't locked. He hears a NOISE inside the darkened room. He flattens against the wall and takes his gun out of his holster. He fills with excitement. He waits a beat, then kicks in the door. His eyes glaze over as he gleefully unloads his gun into the dark office. He waits a beat for any signs of life, then he snaps on the lights and surveys the scene, a bit puzzled.

DlT. OFFICE - NIGHT

The room is riddled with bullets. Across the back wall is a banner that reads: "Good Luck Tackleberry!" The frightened well-wishers peer out from their hiding places.. A three- tiered cake has taken several direct hits; the water cooler is leaking onto the floor. A 1-LA.Npeers out from behind the safety of a filing cabinet.

HP.~N (tiraidlv)

I Surprise.

Working in a drive-up Fotomat is LESLIE BARBARA,every bully's

even when he's not at the beach. His short, plump little body is seated inside the Fotomat booth giving change to a customer.

The customer drives off and a car full of TOUGHSdrives up. They hop out of their car and surround the booth.

At this point the four Bullies tug on all four corners of the Fotomat booth. Using total brute strength, they yank the booth off ics foundation. Barbara is in a state of shock as they carry it to a nearby lagoon at the edge of the parking lot. From a distance they look like four footmen in a medieval pro- ce.ssion carrying a protesting prince in a sedan chair.

The Bullies give the booth the old heave-ho and toss it in the water. They jump in their car and drive off. PUSH IN TO Barbara in the booth. It is half-submerged in the water.

Bursting ouc of the back door is DOUGFACKLERand his wIFE, who is dressed in her robe and slippers.

j (CONTINUED) I

This is a couple who would feel comfortable living in Van Nuys, A fun time for them is bowling and a beer At the moment they aren't having any fun,, They are in the midst of one of their most explosive arguments,

He reaches for the car door.

MRS, FACKLER (warning him) If you open that car door, you're in big trouble.

He opens the car door.

MRS, FACKLER (continuing) If you get into that car, you're dead.

He gets into the car.

I

He defiantly backs the car out of the driveway.

He puts the car in drive and heads off dow-ri the street. Mrs. Fackler swings into immediate action. She runs into the backyard and vaults over the fence. She runs through he::- neighbor's backyard. She leaps over t',m people who are sunning themselves, and jumps over the fence. She ·:uns to a corner bus stop. She hops up on the bench and leaps with a high arch onto the hood of Fackler's car.

Mrs. Fackler is looking right at Fackler through the front windshield.

EXT°. PARKING LOT - DAY

A car pulls into the lot. The attendant, CAREYMAHONEY, gives the DRIVER a ticket. He turns on a sign which reads: "LOT FULL." At that instant, a slick MR.. MARINADEL REY-type pulls up in his Jaguar c.oupe. He immediately leans on his HORN for service. Mahoney does not like this man's attitude, or anybody else who comes on like their excrement has no scent. He's crazy about a good time, practical jokes and any other degeneracy that strikes his fancy. He's the kind of guy who would have "Stayin' Alive" sung at his funeral.

K<IBONEY The lot's full.

Mr. Marina isn't buying this at all.

MR. M.!uUNA Don't give me that crap ... Park the car.

(

I

K"-HONEY There's no place to put the car.

MR, K".RINA Find a place!

MR. !'f.ARINA Listen, dickhead, ..

The ramp HAi"lAGERenters.

M.i\.i\lAGER What's going on?

MR. !'!.JI.RINA (indicating Mahoney) Ass wipe here won't park my car.

M.i\.i\lAGER (he has no patience with Mahoney) Mahoney, find a place for the car.

He gets into the car and peels out at top speed. He makes a screechingly sharp turn so that the car lists dangerously to the right, balanced on t",rn wheels. He then manages to squeeze the car into a very small space between t"wo parked cars. The Jaguar comes to rest on its side. Mahoney crawls out of the passenger side window, which is facing the sky.

Mr. Marina and the Manager are stunned, lfahoney ta.kes off his valet jacket and hands it to the Manager.

M.i\_HONEY

{ I quit. Now, about a letter of

reference .. ..

( CONTI::-lUED)

f

l-L-\J.\JAGER Mahoney, you've had it.

He tu=s and starts to walk away. Just then another car pulls up. The DRIVER starts blowing his HORNimpatiently.

Okay. No problem. Just pull into that next driveway.

The Driver backs uo and drivesinto the next driveway. Un- fortunately it's an exit only. All four of his tires are punctured by the tire spikes.

EXT'. PARKING R.Al1P- LATER

OFFICER REED is leading Mahoney to his squad car. Reed is a seasoned veteran who's seen it all. Gathered arouna is the lot Manager, Mr. Marina and the Driver with the punc- tured tires.

Reed currs Ma.honey's hands behind his back and opens his squad car door.

He guides Mahoney into the ca.r and shuts the door.

Reed is driving and M.ahoney is in the back seat ..

- REED When the hell you gonna straighten out, Mahoney?

I:NT. POLICE STATION - DAY

Reed is leading Mahoney past the BOOKINGSERGE.l.NT.

As they pass b7 other policemen in the station, thev all greet and call our: to Mahoney by name. Reed is leading e!ahoney out of the room.

Ii'lT. HALL IN POLICE STATION

Reed lea.ds Mahoney to a door marked: "Police Recruiter. l

I

(

( the bullshit) ' Well, this was obviously fated,

Ever since my father, who was a Canadian Mountie, was killed by a crazed Malamut wrangler, I vowed I'd avenge his death,

(

Reed opens the door. Mahoney gives US a look that tells us he isn't looking forward to this at all.

MAIN TITLES BEGIN. We are LOOKING DOWNON an area of great urban decay. As we PUSH IN TO the center of this squalor, we ~~.KE OUT the Police Academy. The Academy is made up of several buildings which are reminiscent of an ivory-covered eastern university. We SETTLE IN ON a sign over an archway entra.nce. It reads: "POLICE ACADEMY."

~ffiD. SHOT - PAR.ZING LOT - DAY

A bus pulls up to the curb. TOM F-~RRIS, a cadet class in- structor, races over to it. Harris is a muscle-bound ani- mal who, like most beasts, never speaks -- he roars. As soon as the bus has stoDoed, he oounds his fist on the side of it~ .. .. ..

The frightened cadets come scrambling out of the bus. Most are young and in pre.tty good shape. The men wear conserva- tive suits; the women, business attire. All have name tags.

Suddenly a short, squatty, rotund black woman, LAVERNE HOOKS, waddles out. Harris can't believe her physical condition.

Hooks is scared to death.

When she talks, every part of her body moves, making her look like a Motow-n backup singer.

She comes out of the bus and hustles past him, taking a quick bite of a Snickers bar which she has concealed in her hand. ~ehind her is Tackleberry. He looks around expectantly, ready fci· action. '.

A pickup truck pulls into the parking lot.

Behind the wheel is BRIAN COPELAND. He looks like a little weasel because he is a little weasel. He's a southern bigot who's all talk and no action. Sitting next to him is his friend and idol, CHADBLANKES. He's an ass-kissing back-stabber with all the charm of a Hitler youth. He's clean-cut and athletic like he just st~pped off a baseball card. Through the windshield he sees an older, uniformed OFFICER pass by on the sidewalk.

Copeland slams on the brakes.

Blankes goes racing over to the older cop. This is the Academy commandant, Captain Lassard. He's a stuffy, play-it-by-the- book career officer who hasn't had an origina.l thought in over a quarter of a century.

BL.",,NKES Captain Lassard ... I'mChad Blankes. (MORE)

lL

Thank you. That means a lac to me, sir.

He salutes him and turns back to the truck.

COPEL.tu'lD Did you mention me?

BLAflKES A lot ... Park the truck.

COPELo\ND You asshole ... I'm gonna jam my fist down your --

He stops and looks up and suddenly his attitude changes.

TWO SHOT - COPELANDAND HIGHTOWER

COPEU.1\JD No problem. Y'all have a nice day, now, ya hear?

Hightower closes his door and walks away.

Suddenly Fackler's car screeches into the lot, with Mrs. F. still perched on the roof. He gets out, slams the door and walks away.

/MRS. FACKLER (calling after him) You'll be sorry, mister. This is war!

In the middle of the camous is a concrete quadrangular area called the grinder.· Cadets are nervously milling a.bout as Harris crosses over to another uniformed OFFICER whose back is to US.

She turns around and we SEE our other instructor, JEANETTE CALLAHAN. She looks like a dyke, more than a little. Her hair is done in a slicked-dow-n ducktail. This is a tough, no nonsense man/woman who looks like Wayne Newton, right dow-n to the thin mustache that covers her upper lip.

All the cadets scramble into a rag-tag line-up of two col- umns. CA.'1ERAPANS the group. A very pretty blonde, KAREN THOMPSON,stands near the front. The cadet next to her is busy checking out her shapely posterior. Callahan approaches him.

f

Callahan walks behind them and- she too quickly checks out Thompson's ass.

~!S. CALLAHA."l (continuing; to herself) Oh, yes ...

ANOTHER ANGLE - GRINDER - DAY

Mahoney pulls up in a cab. He climbs out wearing rubber thongs, a torn pair of shorts and a sweatshirt. He pulls a bill from his pocket. He spots Callahan standing nearby.

Mahoney tosses the cabbie the t-wenty and the cab drives off. Callahan and Harris cross to Mahoney. They can't belie,re the way he's dressed.

LI\RRIS You were told to wear a suit and tie.

CALL.llilu~ AND HARRIS I close in on Mahoney.

MS . CALLAH.;N We got you pegged, mister.

H.I\RRIS I'm a sir.

As Harris and Callahan get on his case for this, Mahoney's attention drifts past them -- RACKFOCUS. An older conver- tible pulls in and parks. It is filled with six pretty girls and RAOULCASTRO. Castro is a street-wise Latin lover of Cuban descent. He's into nipples and parties and whatever else constitutes a good time. He speaks with a slight accent. He hops out of the car.

They all wave and scream approval as they drive off.

ANGLE - HARRIS AND MP-..HONEY

Mahoney joins Castro as they both walk toward the grinder.

Very nice-looking ladies.

Mahoney knows a good thing when he sees it. He puts his arm around Castro's shoulder.

Hey, let's be pals.

They walk into line and stand next to Thompson. They smile at her warmly. She pays no attention to them, fixing her gaze straight ahead.

She looks at him strangely out of the corner of her eye. Blankes, who is standing right behind him with Copeland, leans in.

BLI\NKES (to Hahoney) You're a disgrace ...

COPEL,1_ND Yeah.

'M.AHONEY Hey, fellas, lighten up. (to Castro) Isn't this terrific, . . C-,.;o assholes, no waiting.

There is the somrnof a DOG BARRTNGO. S. All eyes turn to- ward the disturbance.

16 ..

BARBAR.I\ Get back in the car, Taffy.

The poodle takes off, making a bee-line for Lassard and immediately begins humping his leg. Horrified, Barbara chases after it.

Harris reaches for the clinging animal, but it's not going to let go without a fight. Barbara tries to help him, but the dog keeps humping away.

(

ANGLE - CALLAHANAND THE CADETS

As the cadets walk away, we can still SEE in the b.g. the struggle to get rid of the dog, which is now amorously attached to the back of Harris' neck.

Harris leads the way down the hall, giving out room assign- ments. Following him are Mahoney, Castro, Fackler and Tackleberry.

A cadet comes toward them walking in the opposite direction, carrying a mattress.

H..\RRIS Stand clear.

Everyone stands to the side. Unfortunately, Fackler doesn't see behind him is an open door. He falls into the doorway .. We HV.R a CRASH.. And then the SOUNDof a BODYFALLING down a long flight of stairs. After a beat, the group looks out the window.

GROUP'S POV - OUT WINDOW

Fac)<ler comes rolling out of the building onto the lawn ..

MEDIUM SHOT - THE GROUP

H.<\.RRIS (calling dow--ri to Fackler) Fackler, take it easy. You're running out of second chances.

He leads the rest of them to the next door,rny.

Mahoney and Tackleberry enter the :.:-oom. It is a drab and colorless place.

TI:lE H..1,LLWAY

Harris shows Castro to the room next door as Fackler comes racing down the hall to join them.

Castro and Fackler start to enter their room.

BL;.NKES Room 14 ready for inspection, sir.

As Harris walks away we WIDEN to INCLUDEMahoney looking at them disdainfully from next door.

Mahoney comes insi.de the room.

As he talks he gets more and more worked up,

(CONTHHJED)

l-L<\.HONEY And lions, and tigers, and bears ... oh, my.

Tackleberry looks at him suspiciously.

Barbara opens the door. Instantly Tackleberry grabs a gun, whir ls around and assumes a firing pas i tion.

Barbara lets out a panicked yell and cowers in a corner.

Tackleberry accepts this and goes back to unpacking his bag. Barbara gets himself together.

Mahoney looks out the window.

Mahoney is leading Barbara to the house. He stands stra- tegically in front of a sign which reads: "Home of Academy Commander."

He reaches the front door.

(to himself) Let it be open, let it be open ...

It is, and Barbara walks inside, Mahoney smiles happily.

Barbara is really impressed with the decor. He walks into the master bedroom and puts his suitcases on the bed. He picks up a framed picture of Ca~t. Lessard on the night- stand. It reads: "With much love, Louis." Barbara thinks this is a gesture of fellowship towa.rd him.

He hears the SHOWER WATER running. He enters the bathroom.

( CONTI:TUED)

22 ..

The shower is turned off.

At that moment the shower door opens and out steps a naked Mrs. Lassard. Puzzled, she just stares at Barbara. Barbara stares at her, rrozen in shock. Finally he forces some words out of his mo~~h.

Another uncomfortable beat goes by. Then we go to

The cadets, now dressed in their all blue uniforms, are seated at their desks. Harris is standing in front of the multi-tiered classroom at the blackboard. He has the habit of writing almost ev,ery word he utters on the board with incredibly squeaky chalk.

He writes "Academy" on the board.

He starts to write like crazy, as fast as he talks.

Castro spots a. demur-looking Japanese girl, DIANE.YOSHIKA..

Yoshika looks over at Castro shyly. He gives he:r- an "I want you" look,

He's writing so fast now it is impossible to read a •..;ord of the last sentence. He slams the chalk down and turns to Laverne Hooks, who is sitting in the front :cow..

Hooks stands and sta:r-ts doing her glittery rhythm and blues gy"!."°ations.

Ha=ris cums to Hightowe~, who is sitting behind her.

Hightower thumbs slowly through the book on his desk.

Harris turns and starts erasing the board.Hightower finds the page and is about to start reading whenCopeland, who sits in the row behind him next to Blankes,leans in to him.,

He starts to lauah idiotically when suddenly Hightower tur::s around, grabs Copeland's manual and angrily rips the thick book in half., Harris turns to see this happening.

plankes' is the only hand to go up.

BLAJ.'TI<ES I served in the U.S. A=y, Airborne 209th Special Forces unit.

Mahoney raises his hand.

J:Li,RRIS You had prior military training, Mahoney?

wnat?

Suddenly an eraser bounces off his head, covering him with chalk. ·----: -

rL,\HONEY (continuing) Thank you ...

The cadets are streaming.out of the classroom. Castro is coming on strong to the seemingly shy Yoshika-

As they walk off, l'fahoney catches up with Thompson, who is walking with Blankes and Copeland.

Blankes spins around so that he is face to face with Mahoney.

BU..J.'fKES Mahoney, you're crude; you're rude; you're disgusti:ig; you're slime; you have no desire ...

Thomoson, tries not to let Blankes see the smile on her face·. There's something about Mahoney she likes despite herself.

BLAi'lKES I can't wait to get you on that first run tomorrow. It's five miles, miscer; you're gonna die.

BLAN"I<.ES You think so. I do two hundred and fifty a day.

Castro crosses over to them.

Castro's eyes light up. He knows exactly what Mahoney's going to do.

(CONTI)TUED)

Castro lies on the ground .. Some other cadets drift over to watch. Mahoney grabs one of their jacekts and puts it over Castro's face.

KAJ'!ONEY (continuing) Now, the whole thing about this situp is it psyches your mind. (to Castro) Can you see anything under there?

Mahoney gets dow"Tlon all fours and starts pounding the ground around Castro's head like a mad man, playing the bongos.

REACTION SHbT - BL.\1-lKES,COPELAND

and some of the other cadets, watching.

Mahoney pulls the jacket off Castro's face and he feigns straining with all his might. Then he makes like he can barely lift his head off the ground. He struggles some more, then finally sinks back like he's exr.aus ted.

Castro gets up and Blankes lies down on the ground. An even bigger crowd has ga,thered around them.

ANGLE - MAHONEYAND BLAl'lKESON THE GROUND

Mahoney covers Blankes' face with the jacket.

Mahoney and Castro start pounding next to Blankes' head. After a beat, with Ca.stro still hitting the turf, Mahoney gets up, straddles Blankes' body, facing away from him, and drops his pants so that his a.ss is inches from Blankes' face.

Okay. Try to sit up.

Castro pulls the jacket away and Blankes sits straight up, his face coming into immediate contact with Mahoney's rear end. Blankes sits there for a beat trying to figure out what's happened. Meanwhile the crowd goes berserk, laugh- ing hysterically. Mahoney pulls up his pants and walks off with Castro triumphantly, leaving Blankes to consider how co destroy them.

ESTABLISHING SHOT of the building.

OPE:,1TIGHT ON Lassard. PULL OUT, REVEALI:lGhe is flanked by Har-:-is and Cal.la.han. Blankes is at accent ion opposite them"

,

BLAi'lKES Believe me, sir, it wasn't my fault. It was Mahoney, he ...

Callahan angrily crushes a can of diet Pepsi she's holding.

Callahan a.nd Harris roll their eyes, knowing Blankes is brown-nosing Lassard.

LASS,1.RD Blankes, in every class the staff chooses a class sergea.nt to be responsible for discipline among his fellow cadets. We think you have the makings of a great cop, so we're going to make you class sergeant.

Blankes salutes them and strides out of the room.

Copeland is waiting for Blankes.

(CONTL:JUED)

COPEL,u'ID Did you mention my name?

BL"fflES Sure.

I know. I like him a lot.

WIDE SHOT of the Academv as the sun comes up. CP~~.NEDOWN and TRUCKPAST the instructors' quarters. THROUGH an open window we SEE Harris in his t~shirt, shaving in a ..mi=or. CAc'1ERADOLLIES PAST, and in the next window we FIND Callahan. She is wearing a tank top undershirt, shaving her a::.:noit in her mirror. A loud SIREN goes off.

We PUSH IN TO another window.

Thomoson sits up in bed. She yawns and remembers where she is. In the next bed, Yoshika sits up rubbing the sleep from her eves. Thomoson is about to dash out of bed when she sees a rummaging under Yoshika's blankets. Popping up from under them is Castro. Thomoson looks at him in a state of shock as Yoshika smiles shyiy.

We DOLLYPAST a few more windows and PUSH IN as Mahoney sits up in bed.

,

Mahoney crosses to the bathroom.

Fackler flushes the urinal and exits. Mahoney enters and crosses to the sink. He slaos some cold water on his face. He turns to find Barbara standing there staring at him intensely.

You got to grumpy? What's a grumpy?

B,U>-BARA And I can't grumpy with anyone else in the room.

He exits. Barbara checks the other stalls to be certain he is alone. Satisfied, he steps into a stall and sits. Mahoney comes tip-toeing back into the room. Quietly he opens the stall next to Barbara. He closes the door and sits. CA1'1ERAPUSHES IN ON their feet beneath the stall doors.

The cadets a:.:e all inP.T. gear (sweatsuits) with their names printed on the back. Blankes is runnin~ along the t:.:ack in ~azelle-like strides. Thompson is running an impressive second.

ANGLE - CALLA.R.A.NAND SOME OTHER CADETS

Callahan is running alongside the cadets, yelling at them to keep up the pace. Tackleberry passes her, running an evasive zig-zag pattern.

Ai\lOTHERAl\JGLE - THE RUNrlER.S

Hightower is running steadily with Copeland right by his side. Copeland is clearly out to beat him ... He's breathing heavily and giving it everything he's got. But it's not enough. Hightowe::: moves out past him with little effort.

Al\JGLE - FACKLER

He runs past. P:.:inted on the back of his shirt, instead of his name, aze the words, "Fuck Cops." Harris runs up to him.

H.'\RRIS (pointing to his shirt) What's with this?

Harris poincs to his shirt again and Fackler tugs it up so he can see what it says.

,

Harris runs past him, leaving Fackler mumbling furiously to himself.

SIDE ANGLE - M..i_l{ONEYAND CASTRO

We DOLLYWITH them. They are running side by side, both of them soaked with sweat. Mahoney dramatically starts humming the theme f_c(lm "Chariots of Fire." Castro joins in loudly and chey sta1-.: co move like they're running in slow motion.

They run OUT OF FRA.c'1E;Barbara ENTERS, He pumps his arms vigorously, his head dow--r1,taking deep breachs out of his mouth. He has che look of a man out to beat the four minute mile. However, he's not getting any,;,here. It's more like a brisk walking in place ... Just behind him, bringing up the rear, is Hooks. Her whole body sways and jiggles.. It looks 1 ,,_iKe s h'es smugging1· Je·11 o.

Good run, Blankes, .. You, too, Thompson.

BL<\.N'KES Thank you, sir.

Thompson is watching the track. She's trying hard not to laugh. Ha=is turns to see what she's looking at. He sees something ouc there that displeases him.

l-L4.HONEY(CONT'D) And listen to that crowd they're all screaming .. , (like a crowd chanting in unison) Mahoney ... Mahoney. , . Here he comes!

He runs past the finish line, past Harris and Blankes.

Blankes gets a determined look and walks tow1~d Mahoney.

Ea.'2:."ris j oi;is them.

lL'\RRIS Because he's class sergeant. Get going.

Mahoney turns and runs back to the track. Harris pats Blankes on the back approvingly.

Calla.han is addressing the class.

He steps forward. She immediately grabs him in a very rough choke hold. Her massive a=s all but mask his face. She then spins him around, picks him up, and slams him to the ma.t on his back with all her might. Like a muscle-bound w-res tler, she rolls him over, cuffs his hands behind his back, spins him around again and plops on top of him. Her face is· inches from his.

She gives him a long, intense look. Barbara squi=s uncom- fortably. She gets up and uncuffs Barbara.

(sotto; to Ear-ris) Take over the class. I gotta change my Tampax.

Mahoney overhears. He turns to Castro.

Hooks starts shaking nervously.

H..o,.RR.IS What the hell was that? Do you think some perpetr2.tor •..;ould take you seriously? You have absolutely no co=and presence. (MORE)

HAR..°'IS(CONT'D) You are what: you look like: a big, fat zero.

Copeland laughs. Hooks holds back tears, Hightower would love a piece of Copeland, but controls himself.

Tackleberry steps forward. He's at attention, as usual.

The class pairs off. Copeland is facing Barbara. Hight:ower pushes Barba.ra aside and he makes sure he's face to face with Copeland. Copeland panics,,

COPEL;.ND (thinking fast:)

Sergeant Harris I sir. I ve t-;.;isted my ankle, sir.

Hightowe:?:" is disappointed as he watches Copeland walk away. At first Copeland forget:s about his bad ankle; suddenly he remembers to limp.

The line opposite Hightower moves dow-n and this places Barbara against Hightower.

Barbara has to subdue Hight:ower. He has never been so frightened in his life,

(CONTI(<llJED)

Barbara tries to stop Hightower, but he is immediately sla=ed to the mat. Next to them, Mahoney and Castro fight playfully with each other in the Three Stooges tradition of fingers in the eyes, fake choking, and pulling hair ... They also make a lot of noise, just like Moe and Curley. Harris watches this silliness, shaking his head.

Blankes looks over and sees them.

BL~fKES Mahone;, you just got yourself KP for the next 20 weeks.

Mahoney hits himself angrily, a la Curley.

Our cadets are lined up in front: of targets that a.re shaped like the outline of men. They wear mufflers over their ears to block out the sound of GUNSHOTS. Everyone is holding his

Everyone starts FIRING at once in a deafening burst of smoke.

Hightower is lifting 350 pounds in the weight room. In the b ..g. Barbara is trying to lift his weights off the ground.

Copeland is definitely cheating. He's copying answers from a crib sheet.

Mahoney a.nd Castroare digging a large hole in the middle of the running track. They stop digging to make sure no one sees them, then go back to work.

All the cadets are changing out of their P ..T. gear. Mahoney reaches into his locker and puts on a shirt that's 8 sizes too big for him. Hightower enters naked from the shower.

Hooks is trying to make it over a wall, with very little success. Blankes is yelling at her to hurry up. Hightower comes up behind her and gives her a little boost. She jumps over the wall and lands on top of Fackler, who was standing on the other side.

On the obstacle course, Blankes is breezing through it as a pleased Lassard looks on. Mahoney is running in and out of the obstacles like a skier through a slalom course. Blankes, Harris and Callahan gang up on him and scream in his ear.

, 39,

Mahoney is here doing KP duty. He's scrubbing down pans.

INT, LOCKERROOM

Tackleberry steps out of the shower wearing a gun in a shoulder holster. Nearby, Fackler is just putting on his uniform. Cas- tro and Mahoney, both soaking wet, brush past him, leaving him drenched.

Callahan is running through a course in working with police dogs.

MS. CALLAJ:LA.N These dogs are especially trained to sniff out dope concealed on an individual.

We SEE all the dogs are all over Castro, sniffing_at his pockets. He stands there with a big shit-eating grin on his face.

Har::-is is instr 1J.cting Tackleberry in the art of finger- printing a suspect. Tackleberry rolls the finger of another cadet in the ink, getting the stuff all over his fingers at the same time. We SEE the imurint on the blotter consists of 'the other cadet's fingers,· a.s well as prints from two of Tackleberry's fingers.

The class is running down a city street. They pass a hot dog stand. Instinctively, Barbara and Hooks break ranks and veer toward it. Callahan yells them back into place.

~!ahonev and Castro have dug a deep pit and are busy camou- flaging the hole with an old rug and some dirt:.

INT, MESS l:L0.LL

While the cadets eat, in the b.g.Harris and Callahan sit at the staff table engaged in a strenuousarm wrestling match. After a beat Callahan pins Harris easily. Harris sighs and passes her his dessert,

, 40,

Castro and Yoshika reappear; she is disheveled. Harris doesn't think something looks right. r,astro gives Harris a sly smile,

Fackler's turn through Hogan's Alley. A target pops out and hits him in the head, knocking him over.

He's firing casually at the target. We get the sense that he's missing it by a mile.

EXT, PAR.1<.INGLOT

Lassard is just getting out of his car when suddenly we HE.AR the IMPACT of the bullet hitting his tire, followed by a loud HISSING SOUND. Lassard watches silently as his back tire sinks to the ground. This is followed by his front tire being hit. He turns and his hat is shot off his head.

The city is just waking up. Off in the distance we SEE many tiny beams of light oouncing, coming TOWARDSUS. We HEAR the SOUNDof FEET hitting the pavement.

A VOICE barks out a call in cadence. As they get CLOSER, we can MAKEOUT our cadet class runningTOWARD US carrying flash- lights, led by Callahan and Harris.

ANOTHERCITY STREET - LATER IN THAT MORNING

As the ca.de ts come. running down the street we can SEE the bleak- ness of the surroun,ling ghetto area. In several doorways, tough-looking kids ,;;atch the cops go by with menacing looks on their faces.

ANGLE - MAHONEY,CASTRO Al'ID FACKLER

FAClCL:i::R They always do this ... It's supposed to get you used to the street.

GANG MEMBER ;fol Hey, Hightower ... What's happening, pig?

GANG MEMBER ff2 Hightower, you're dead, man.

A.1\JGLE- HARRIS

WIDE SHOT - THE CADETS

They run quickly dowel the street, away from their antagonists

They cross the street and move OUT OF FRAi.'1E.

Hightower keeps his eyes straight ahead, his thoughts else- where.

WIDE SHOT - THE C,1.DETS, Il'lCLUDINGHARRIS

l-L.\R...'l.IS Mahoney, let's move.

He leads the cadets around the corner and OUT OF SIGHT.

The exhausted cadets run toward thegrinder, coming back from the street. Blankes, as usual, is gung-ho, sounding off to the other cadets.

BLru'\JKES All right, let's show Mr. Harris how much we want to be police officers ... Let's run five more miles.

Everyone looks at Blankes like he's crazy. Blankes takes off and runs out on the track. He runs a few yards and suddenly the ground opens up beneath him and he sinks out of sight. He has fallen into the hole that Mahoney and Castro camouflaged.

TWOSHOT - l'-.\HONEYAND CASTRO

They give each other self-satisfied smiles

WIDE SHOT - THE CADETS

They run past Blankes, who is totally dazed, sitting in the bottom of the hole.

Ck.'1ER..\PANS the locker room. It's very cramped. Five cadets share a locker. Cadets are showering, trying to get dressed ... it's total pandemonium. Not helping matters is Blankes, who keeps yelling at them to hustle it up. His clone, Copeland, keeps repeating the orders.

Mahoney looks where he's pointing.

Ai.'\"/GLE- BARBARA

He comes out of the toilet stall, covered head to toe in towels as if he's ashamed for anyone to see his body.

H,H!ONEY Should we?

Castro quickly walks to the door and removes the l'Staff Only" sign. Mahoney gets up and crosses to Barbara, putting his ar::a around him.

~!."'-HONEY Barbara, what's the matte'!:'? You look down.

We DOLLYWITH them as they walk to the sauna room.

~"-HONEY Could help you relax. Tha.t means grumpies.

Castro stands in front of the door, smiling as Barba.ra opens it and enters the sauna.

I

The steam is thick. Barbara can't see an inch in front of his face.

He's turning down the steam.

Barbara is sitting, totally relaxed. But the steam is dis- sipating. Barbara turns, and now he is face to face again with the naked fus. Lassard. Barbara is panicked. They stare at each other for a few beats. Finally she speaks up.

M..,S. LASS.A.RD (calmly puzzled) What's your deal?

I"NT. GYM- DAY

OPEN TIGHT ON Mahoney. He is standing uncomfortably at at- tention. We PAN and FIND Castro, Fackler, Tackleberry and Bar- bara standing next to him. WIDEN to REVEALHarris, Callahan and Blankes facing them. They look upset.

l:Lo\.R.R.IS You maggots have the distinction of being at the bottom of your class. You are the worst cadets I've ever seen.

I've tried my best, ma'am.

HAP~"'cIS (yells) Bl.ankes, get them out of there.

The cadets run out of the room.

Blankes is running next to Mahoney, toward the dor:n.

BL<¼\JKES You got my ass in trouble ... I'll never forget it, either.

Blankes runs away from the group.

That's very comforting, coming from a man who's parents met at the Bay of Pigs.

They all charge off into the dorm entrance.

The cadets are firing away at the target:s. lfahoney looks over at: Castro. Something doesn't look right:. Castro is wearing stereo hea.dphones instead of sound mufflers. He nudges Castro, who pulls the headphones off his ears. We can HEAR LOUDMUSIC coming out of them.

47,

They spin around so that the cadets can get their scores. Be- hind Fackler' s target is Hrs. Fackler. She looks very distraught ..

They yell and scream at each other as the other cadets look on in astonishment ..

Our cadets are ja=ed into the room. Castro is busv collect- ing money from them. Everyone has a pad of paper and a pen ..

Barbara reaches for some potato chips on the table.

( CONTI'.'lL"ED)

The rest of the guys boo him.

The guys write this down, but they sense something is not right.

The guys look ac each other, confused.

The other cadets mumble agreement. Castro realizes they're right.

Everyone screams at Castro.

(CONTIN'L'ED)

48A ..

The guys all look at Castro angrily as they grab their money back from him.

He turns quickly and storms out of the room. Mahoney goes after him.

Castro is sitting by the stairs, sulking.

Mahoney looks at Castro sympathetically and decides desperate measures must be taken. He goes back toward the room.

Mahoney stands in the doon,ay.

He starts to exit, the others following him.

They all leave the room. It's empty for a beat; then Cope- land comes slithering inside. This is a man on a mission. He surveys the room quickly, and spots the test "answers" lying on the bed. His face lights up deviously as he grabs it and runs out of the room.

Thompson is burning the midnight oil, studying at her desk. Yoshika comes out of the bathroom, her hair all wet, wearing a loose-fitting robe. She crosses to her bed and begins brushing her hair. There's a Ki'TOCKat the DOOR. Thompson gets up and opens the door a crack. She is surprised to find Mahoney standing there.

THOMPSON: Help you do what?

K.\HONEY (begging) More than life itself ... Please, please, please don't let me fail ...

KAJtONEY Don't worry ... we will.

She opens the door all the way, revealing all the guys from Castro's room standing there. They march past her into the room. Yoshika is thrilled to see them and makes room for a couple of them on her bed.

THO~lPSON Mahoney, what is this?

so. I

Thompson looks at them. They stare back at her with almost Mongoloid-like blankness. Barbara raises his hand.

Thompson rolls her eyes, knowing she's got quite a job on her hands.

1-'.AHONEY (groggy) Section 417-B.

Ee goes to put his arm around her, but she backs away.

She starts to giggle. Just then there's a LOUDKNOCK on the DOOR.

Hahoney realizes he's made a rniscake.

Callahan shakes her head curiously, then decides to move on and EXITS OUT OF FRA.c'1E.

CAMERA DOLLIES FROM the rear of the classroom. Everyone is busy taking the exam. In the front of the room Harris is marking papers as Callahan strolls the aisles looking for cheaters.

All the cadets are standing at attention, nervously waiting for Harris to rea.d their grades. Callahan and Lassard stand nearby.

He pauses as the boys await the verdict.

K<\RR.IS (continuing; disappointed) ... All passed.

Thompson and the guys are thrilled.

KA~"'l.RIS (continuing) Now, Mr. Copeland ...

COPEL~ND Sir?

(CONTH!UED)

\ Question number one was, "What three

Supreme Court decisions were instrumental in determining a suspect's rights?" And your answer was the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria.

All the cadets laugh.

Copeland is shocked by this. He looks over at Mahoney and Castro, who are doing everything they can to stop from busting a gut.

Everyone rushes toward the parking lot. Castro and Yoshika walk with Mahoney.

Mahoney sees Thompson heading for he!:" car in the parking lot.

K"'-HONEY I ' 11 catch up t o you guys 1 a ter.

Mahoney runs after Thompson, catching up with her before she gets to her car.

\ NAHONEY

No problem,_ I'll get you home early.

He runs off. There's a look on Thompson's face that lets us know the ice is obviously melting.

F-1\.RRIS Nahoney and that other scum are really getting on my nerves. I wouldn't be displeased if those assholes had a bit of trouble this weekend ... understood?

As Harris walks away, it is clear that Blankes and Copeland are both very happy about this.

The DOORBELLRINGS. The Thompsons are obviously well or::; in fact, well, well off. The house is gorgeous. Thompson heads for the front door as the DOORBELLRINGS again. She opens the door, revealing Mahoney. He's dressed in a silk robe, P.J.'s and slippers .. He carries a book.

i

just stayed home and studied.

(CONTH!UED)

She takes the book out: of his hand and looks at

She throws it at him and storms into the living room.

He follows her.

They sit on the couch.

She kisses him hard.

(continuing; coming UP for air) Just a second. I know your kind.

(CONTicTTJED)

He opens his wallet and pulls out: a condom.. He puts it: to his lips and blows it up like a balloon, then he makes a balloon animal poodle.

She laughs, and they embrace, rolling off the couch, OUT OF FRAME.

She giggles.

OPEN TIGHT ON Hartin Milner on "Adam 12." PULL BACKto REVEALTackleberry sitting at the bar reverently mouthing every word Milner speaks.

DOLLYBACK FURTHER.to REVEALlot:s of people, mostly cadet:s and cops, having a raucus time.

ANdLE - CALLAHAN' S TABLE

She is sitting having a "meaningful conversation" in a dark corner with a tough-looking PUNKERLADYwith blue hair. Passing by their table is Yoshika. She's a little high, dancing very sensuously around the room. Lots of the guys are clapping, enjoying the show. Castro jumps up from his table and dances like a wild man with her, spinning her around, pulling her through his legs, etc.

Hooks pulls a very bombed Barbara out of his seat and t:=ies to make a dancer out of him .

They are sitting in a corner watching the proceea:i.ngs soberl7. They have menace written all over their faces.

Hightower shyly shakes his head.

She sits down next to him. • He smiles uncomfortably, glad she took the initiative.

PUSH IN ON the bar window. Copeland and Blankes watch them like a couple of snakes, ready to strike.

EqT. FACKLER'S KITCHEN - NIGHT

Fackler is sitting in his cramped, cluttered kitchen, wait- ing for dinner. THROUGH the door to the hall we can SEE Mrs. F. pass by carrying an armload of Fackler's clothes. After a beat she enters the kitchen and dumns a can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti into a pot on the stove.· She exits and Fackler gets up and turns the flame on under the pot and fishes the can lid out of the spaghetti.

In the b.g. we SEE Hrs. F. carrying anot:1er pile of shirts.

58. 1

Fackler notices her.

Mrs. F. gives him a dirty look and moves OUT OF SIGHT down the hall. Then we HEAR a DOOR SLAi.'1.

CAt'1ERAFOLLOWSFackler as he moves dowel the hall and opens the front door.

I

TIGHT SHOT ON Fackler' s facec·. There's a look of shock as he stands there, frozen for a beat.

At'\JGLEWIDENS as he comes burs ting out of the house in a panic. In the b.g. we HEAR a CAR ENGINE REVVING.

Fackler makes a mad-dash effort to retrieve some of his battered clothes, but he barely has time to pick up a pair of underwear before i'!rs. Fackler throws the car in reverse and backs over the clothes again.

What a gal! She's reallyfigured out a way tomake ironing a breeze.

59. ,

WIDE SHOT - THE DRIVEWAY

Mrs. Fackler gets ready for another run on the clothes. Mahoney hops out of the car and hel;is Fackler grab a few pairs of pants just as Mrs. Fackler passes within inches of them. Mahoney grabs Fackler and leads him to the car.

She looks over her shoulder and sees Fackler getting into Thompson's car.

She snaps the car into reverse and heads for Thompson's car with the tunnelvision of a kamakaze pilot.

Mahoney squeals out just in time, Mrs. Fackler missing him bv inches. Fackler screams back at her through the window as the car pulls away:

Mahoney hands Fackler a beer.

Fackler takes the beer tentatively.

Fackler chug-a-lugs the can of beer.

60,

Copeland's pickup truck pulls up behind Thompson's car. Inside we can SEE Copeland driving, with Blankes sitting next to him.

COPELI\ND There they are.

BL<\NKES (surprised) Is that Thompson in there? ... I don't believe it.

Copeland smiles deviously and steps on the accelerator.

Mahoney, Tackleberry, Barbara and Fackler are singing along with the RADIO at the top of their lungs. Mahoney encourages Thompson to join in.

- Jus't then the car gets a jolt from the rear. Fackler smashes his head into the seat.

COPELA1'lD Hey, Mahoney don ' t you know how to drive?

Copeland's truck smashes into the side of Thompson's car .

He laughs moronically.

Mahoney turns the wheel quickly. He looks over at Thompson.

M.ahoney slams into the t::-uck, causing it to skid and almost jackknife into a tree.

Just then, Copeland smashes them again from the rear. Mahoney tu::-ns the wheel violently.

Mahoney smashes the front end of the car into the side of Copeland's truck, denting the door.

Copeland smacks into the side of Thompson's car repeatedly.

HIGH SHOT - THE ROAD

We can SEE that the road narrows up ahead and there is a steep embankment.

Mahoney is doing everything he can to keep the car on the road.

Copeland is about to ram Thompson's car over the embankment. Just then a small hand gun is shoved through the window into Copeland's face.

Copeland's truck speeds up ahead, with Tackleberry hanging on. (

THROUGH the windshield we can SEE a donut stand ahead. Out front police cars are parked, with officers sitting inside them.

WIDE SHOT - THE ROADPAST THE DONUTSTAJ.'ID

The two cars go by with a man straddling them. Sensing a violation, the cops in two of the patrol cars immediately turn on their SIRENS and flashing lights and take off in pursuit.

He pushes his door open. Tacklebe=y loses his grip.

Fackler and Castro pull Tackleberry into the car by his legs as Copeland cakes off ahead, with one patrol car in pursuit. They s igna.l for Copeland to pull over.

Thompson looks over her shoulder.

KI\HONEY And put that gun away.

Tackleberry dumps the bottles' contents on the floor. Everyone in the back seat follows suit, dumping booze on the floor like crazy, until they're ankle deep in alcoholic beverages.

64. 1

The patrol car pulls up right behind them.

Mahoney turns sharply off the road. He turns so sharply that he smashes into a roadside busbench. The police car pulls up right behind them.

The two Cops exit the patrol car and approach Thompson's car.

The patrol car has dropped off our cadets. Harris is saying goodbye to the two officers,

They drive off. Harris stands in front of the cadets scowl- ing.

Mahoney walks next to Thompson.

Think he means it?

t-L',HONEY C'mon, we had some laughs, met some new people ...

It's clear she's not amused. She storms off past him.

ANGLE - J:Ll\.RRIS,COPELANDAND BLANKES

Nahoney's about to go inside when he spots Nrs. Fackle:?: running quickly toward him. She looks more than a little c:?:azed.

She goes running off toward the parking lot. Mahoney shakes his head and enters the building.

I:clT. DORM- OUTSIDE FACKLER'S ROOM- DAY

Fackle= comes running dow--nthe hall to Nahoney.

66. ,

He is having a shit-fit.

Just saw your better half. She seemed a bit

l-L'lliONEY Look, why don't you just put the hooker in another room.

M.'lliONEY You what?

Just then Castro moves toward them.

He moves past them. Mahoney grabs Fackler and they cross to Mahoney's room.

Mahoney and Fackler come bursting through the door. There, sprawled out on Mahoney's bed, we SEE one of the sleaziest WOMEN to ever charge for sex.

\ She strikes a seductive pose and smiles at them through crooked teeth.

He pulls her up off the bed and looks around desperately for a place to hide her. He moves her towards the bathroom. He opens tpe door and sees a familiar pair of legs under the stall.

BA.1<.BARA (indignant) Hey, can't a guy get any privacy? I'm trying to make a grumpy.

He slams the door and grabs the Hooker by the hand. He looks furtively out into the hall, decides the coa.st is clear, and exits with her.

Mahoney, with the Hooker in tow, comes nmning dowu the hall.

They cooe to a door. Mahoney looks inside. Suddenly he hears VOICES somewhere behind him. He pulls the Hooker into the room and slams the door.

The room is some sort of meeting room, with a dais and podium. In front of it are a few rows of chairs. Mahoney and the Hooker duck under the podium. Just then the door swings open. Captain Lassard is leading a small group of visitors. They are reporters, political types, and some visiting policemen. Lassard steps up to the podium, and some of the other police- men sit at the dais.

68. ,

A brown-skinned MANwearing a plumed cap and heavily decor- ated uniform (like the kind a High School Marching Band leader would wear) gets up and takes a bow to hearty applause. He smiles gratefully, revealing many gold-capped "teeth.

MEDIUM SHOT -· THE AUDIENCE

REPORTER ffal Yessir, Captain Lassa.rd, how many cadets do you have here at the Academy?

LAS Sil.RD We can handle one hundred and fifty cadets. Our current class has one hundred and t-.ve1ve We have additional dor:natories being built, so that ...

He continues looking uncomfortable as we HEAR the next Re- porter's question.

REPORTER ffo2 What do you look for in a cadet?

Suddenly Lassard looks like a man who's being sucked through a flavor straw. His expression changes quickly from shock to joy to confusion, then back to shock.

:ilACKTO L'\SSARD

realizing his mouth is open and no words are coming out of it. He makes an attempt to go on talking.

LASS~.RD We... also want ... good ... Um... Ooh! Ah, great ... academic grades ... and things ... like oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy ... (realizing) ... and of course, leadership .. . Oh yes ... oh yes, leadership ... oh, yes ... Oh, yes.

ANGLEON INDONESL~N VISITOR

He is watching Lassard with interest.

Lassard closes his eyes for a beat. When he looks up, he realizes where he is.

There is a beat of uncomfortable silence, broken by the SOUNDof a ZIPPER going up.

L"-SSARDAND THE DAIS

WIDE SHOT - THE ROOM

Everyone starts to get up and exit toward 'the door. When no one is looking, Lassard sneaks a peek under the podium.

MAHONEY'S POV - L.\SSARD

He looks down at Mahoney, shocked.

(sotto) You still don't get any liberty, mister.

Mahoney lies face-down on his bed. He slowly rolls over and, half asleep, senses a huge shadow covering his face. He sits up with a start.

Hightower walks towards the bed and sits down next to Mahoney.

K.c\.HONEY That's terrific ... But it's three- thirty in the morning ... Not that I'm complaining,

HIGHTO'WER

\

Mahonev, I'm in trouble. The drivin§; course is tomorrow.

I

So?

Slowly, painfully, Mahoney gets out of bed and puts on his shoes.

DRIVING COURSE - HIGH ANGLE - NIGHT

The course is a mile of twisting asphalt representing every kind of road condition. We SEE a patrol car make a sharp turn, then pull off andpark on a shoulder.

Hightower gets out of the car as Mahoney moves over to the passenger seat. Hightower gets behind t:he wheel and stares with awe at the dashboard. He sits there, immobile, unsure of what to do next.

Hightower smiles nervously, and turns the key.

I

Mahoney indicatesto pull the gear lever. The car starts off with a lurch. Then it stalls. Hightower looks at Mahoney, confused.

It takes off again, a bit shakey at first, but steadily it moves over the track.

I MAH•~~y (V. O . ) Very nice. Turn signal. .. Good ... Left turn. No, the other way. You know left ... the hand you punch with ... Right ... No, not right, left ... Good .. .

A few hours have passed. The car is zooming over the track with ease at a very high speed.

The glare of the morning sun is refracted off the hood of a ca::: as it rounds the track toward the skid Pan (a slippery part of the track, sprayed with oil and wat~r).

LOW A:.'TGLE

as car comes right AT CAflER.A,does a complete 360 degree spin. The driver gains control in mid-skid and pulls out of the next turn.

Hightower is driving. He is sweating a lot as he puts the car through its paces. WIDEN to REVEALHarris sitting next to him. He is taking notes.

Hahoney, Castro, Yoshika and Barbara are watching the track as Thompson drives up in a patrol car with Callahan. The door opens and she runs toward them.

(excited) I made it. (looking out over the track) What's happening with Hightower?

TH01'!PSON Mahoney, I heard what you did for Hightower ... I'm really impressed.

Thompson smiles at him -- they're clearly friends again. Callahan rolls down her window.

Barbara sighs and walks slowly to the car. ( RACK FOCUS TO car backing up through plastic cylindrical cones which have been placed in a zig-zag pattern on the asphalt. THROUGH the windshield we can SEE two small eyes peer over the dashboa:,:-d.

Hooks is doing everything she can to see over her shoulder, but she's too short to get a good view.

Copeland is driving confidently over the track. Suddenly something up ahead disturbs him. He slams on his brakes.

We can SEE Hooks' car backing up, right toward Copeland. In order to get out of the way, Copeland swings to his right and then runs over all the cones. In a fury, Copeland jumps out of his car and races over to Hooks, who gets out of her car.

Hooks is very upset. Tears start to well up in her eyes.

Through his windshield he sees Copeland yelling at Hooks. He immediately sees red and jumps out of the car.

He gets out of the car and runs after him. Callahan comes running right behind him.

Hightower comes charging up to Copeland like a crazed bull. He picks him up off the ground ..Harris tries to separate them, but Hightower pushes himaside with ease. Hightower cocks his arm back.

CONTHTTJED:

Hightower connects with a roundhouse punch and Copeland goes flying. He hits the ground, sliding down the oil slick for several yards. He stops sliding when his head lands in one of the cones.

ANGLE - GALLAJ:l~N

She has joined the fray and tries to grab Hightower's ar:n. Hightower turns and instinctively swings at her with a sharp left. She catches this punch under her chin and collapses on the ground, knocked out cold.

Hightower has his suitcase on the bed and is filling it with clothes. Castro, Barbara and Mahoney sit on the either bed watching him pack. There's a KNOCKon the DOORand Hooks comes into the room. She is visibly upset ..

Hightower puts nis arm around her and starts out the door. He stops and turns to Mahoney.

He exits with Hooks. Mahoney indicates for Castro to follow hi!IL

Mahoney and Castro's flashlights shine through the eerie atmosphere of Hogan's Alley. Mahoney leads Castro to a storage she.ck.

(CONTI:lUED)

MAHONEY:. Garbage.

He unlocks the door and shines his flashlight inside

THEIR POV - INSIDE THE SHACK

It's floor to ceiling garbage--· tons and tons of it -- everything from egg shells to :::usty cans and old bottles ..

MAHONE': That's how you know it'', been aged to perfection. C'mon, give me a hand.

They hold their noses and head into the debris.

Blankes and Copel,md come down the hall to their :coom. Copeland puts his key in the lock and turns the doorknob. He pulls on it, but it won't open. He strains as he pulls on it harder. All of a sudden the door gives and springs open.

TIGHT SHOT - BL'il'TI<.":ES~~7) COPELAND

They look up in horror.

WIDE SHOT - INCLUDINGTF.E ROOM

They are hit with a huge wall of garbage wn1.cn covers them. They try to get up and walk. This is next to impossible as the:ce is garbage everywhere. Finally their heads emerge. Mahoney comes walking by eating a banana. He tosses the peel onto the pile.

,

They watch angrily as he walks off.

A row of patrol cars lines the curb. There are uniformed cops standing in front of each car. Next to them are our cadets. They are in regular police uniforms for the first time. Standing with them are seasoned police officers.

ANGLE - L"SSARD

He passes in front of the men like Eisenhower add::-essing his troops.

WIDE SHOT

The cadets get into the patrol cars with their various pa::-t- ne::-s and start to drive off.

( A patrol car moves down the street.

Callahan is driving. Barbara sics next to her. She casually rests her a= behind Barbara's seat.

There's a full moon and the stars are ~winkling brightly. The patrol car pulls in to a wooded lovers lane and parks.

Callahan takes off her jacket. Beneath her short-sleeved shirt we SEE for the first time a tattoo on her well-defined biceo. It's the face of a little caricature of Satan with the ~ords "BORN TO RAISE h"ELL" beneath it. Barbara isn't sure what to do, but somehow he knows this isn't quite right.

Callahan grabs him and pulls him down beneath her on the seat. She throws off his hat and loosens his shirt.

Barbara has the look of a man facing death. As Callahan sinks out of sigtt on top of him --

Copeland is sitting in the passenger seat with a tough-faced, older COP. He seems a little bored as he looks out the window.

The older Cop nods. THROUGH the windshield we can SEE some black couples crossing the streec.

The older Cop looks at Copeland like there's something seriously wrong with him.

A patrol car pulls into a beach parking lot. On the beach we can SEE a campfire burning, and hear LOUDROCKMUSIC.

I"1T. CAR.•

'

Castro is inside with his partner, a middle-aged K"',.Nwith a large pot belly.

Castro walks, flashlight in hand, dow-n the beach toward the camprire. When he gets there, a look of happy surprise crosses his face. Six very good looking teenage girls are in bikinis. They are dancing to the music on a portable cassette machine. They stop dancing when Castro approaches. A great-looking REDHEAD comes up to him.

Castro checks out the girls ... He's in Nirvana.

Blankes is standing with his ticket book out. He's giving a hard time to a MOTORISTwho sits behind the wheel of his car.

The Motorist strikes his head, disgusted.

EZT. BE-<\CHP.;R.'<INGLOT

Castro's Partner is still sitting in his car. He sips a cup of ,coffee from a thermos. He looks at his watch and scratches his head, trying to figure out what's taking Castro so long.

Copeland and his partner are still patrolling a quiet neigh- borhood. They stop for a light.

THROUGH t:1e windshield we can SEE some Latin-looking kids in suits pull up in a car next to them.

I

CONTUTUED:

COPELAl'lD Cubans! Let's arrest 'en.-

The older Cop rolls his eyes skyward and makes a right turn.

A crowd has gathered in front of a tall hotel building. CAMERA TILTS UP, REVEALINGa dishevled MAN standing on a ledge, ready to jump.

A patrol car pulls up. Thompson and her PARTNER, a black cop in his early forties, jump out and race inside the building.

Thompson and her Partner come running down a long hallway.

He runs off. Thompson runs up to a door and knocks it open with one hard kick of her boot.

A shocked COUPLE sit up in bed.

She crosses to the window and opens it.

The Woman in bed tu:::-ns on the light. She looks at Thompson.

Thomoson turns to her, surprised.

WOM.l\.~l It's me, Maureen Barker ... How have you been?

Karen suddenly remembers why she's there.

She sticks her head back out the window.

I~T. ROON

Maureen is oblivious to all this and points to her companion.

Karen, this is Carl Wormser. Carl, Karen and I went to junior college together ... So, Kar, what are you doing now?

ANGLE - M.I\.NON LEDGE

He reaches for Thompson's hand and comes inside.

84. f

\ r'L<\J.'l

I wanted to die ... Why didn't you let me die?

•. MAUREEN You t:ohungry? Why don't we go out andget something to eat.

Both the Nan from the ledge and Thompson give each other an "Is she crazy?" look.

Patrol car stoos at a crosswalk. Several bearded Hassidic Jews in dark overcoats pass by.

CANERA P.<\J.'lSOFF a broken traffic signal TO a very busy inter- section. In the middle of it, timidly directing traffic, is Hooks, who is almost impossible to see in the thick of all the traffic. She is signaling like crazy for one row of cars to make a left turn when she looks up and sees a large oil tanker coming one way and a trailer carrying a small house that's being moved coming the other. Fearing a head-on collision, she abruptly puts up her hands, causing all the traffic to come to a sudden halt.

WIDE SHOT

At the end of the row of traffic, a car pulling a horse trailer with a horse in it stops short. A ~L~Non a motorcycle smashes into the back end of the trailer and winds UP with his head ~p the business end of the horse. Hooks comes running over 1.n a panic. She sees the Man with his head in the horse's butt and calls to him.

Castro's Partner is still in his car. He's fast asleep and snoring slightly.

The ·campfire has gone out. Silence is broken by the e:ccited SOUNDSof a woman in the throes of ecstacy.

Tackleberry comes stalking up a path to a doorway with his gun drawn.. He charges inside like he's making a bust.

Inside we find a brightly-lit coffee shop. The customers are too busy calking and eating to notice Tackleberry looking at them suspiciously. Tackleberry's Partner, a very straight cop with a crew-cut, comes inside ..

Tackleberry sits down on a stool at the counter. The Waitress brings him a cup of coffee. He finds a newspaper on the stool next to him and starts to read it. CAMERA WIDENS to REVEAL a hardened criminal type walk over to the cash register and take all the money out of the cash drawer. Tackleberry is oblivious to this and just goes on reading his paper. The gunman runs out. After a beat, Mahoney and Castro come in with their PARTNERS. Nahoney slaps Tackleberry on the back.

Just then Fackler comes charging in. He runs up to the boys.

Mahoney gets up and starts for the door.

Fackler chases after him, followed by Castro.

Mahoney, followed by Castro and Fackler, runs down a row of parked patrol cars. Mahoney jumps into one and starts the engine. Castro gets in next to him.

Mahoney starts to pull away. Fackler quickly opens the back door and hops in, as Mahoneyturns on the flashing red light and heads dovm the road.

Mrs. Fackler is standing handcuffed before the BOOKING SERGEANT. A police woman is by her side.

The police woman starts to lead her down the hall when Mahoney, Castro and Fackler come charging in.

Mrs. F. starts beating him on the chest.

, . SERGEANT I see .... Of course ... Get her out of here.

Nahoney grabs her a.nd all but carries her out the c!oor.

Blankes stands close to one of the patrol cars, nervously looking around. WIDEN to REVEAL two legs protruding from under the car.

Copeland slides out and wipes the grease off his face.. He quickly gets up and slides a pair of pliers into his pocket.

Suddenly a patrol car pulls into the lot. Blankes and Copeland quickly duck behind the building.

Mahoney, Castro and Fackler hop out of the patrol car. A moment later, Harris exits the coffee shop.

He leads Mahoney to the car Copeland just tampered with.

Mahoney gets behind the wheel and they drive off ..

Copeland panics and throws the pliers into the bushes.

Barbara sits' nervously at a table. He still looks a little disheveled. His tie is half of£ and his hair is all mussed.

ANGLE - THE BATHROOM DOOR

The door swings open. Callahan comes out. There is some- thing different about her ... she is wearing lipstick. But she doesn't look any less manly, mainly because she still has a mustache. She sits next to Barbara and strokes his hair. Her friend, the Punker with the blue hair, is seated at the bar. She spots them and approaches their table angrily. She picks a startled Barbara up by the lapels.

She slams him back into his chair.

MS_ CALLAHA/l (impressed) Why, Margo! I didn't think you cared.

Harris and Mahoney pull up behind an abandoned car.

Mahoney is still driving.

Hahoney pulls up the emergency brake and gets out of the car.

As he walks toward the abandoned car we can SEE the patrol car slowly roll backwards behind him. Harris looks up and realizes what is happening. He steps on the brake, but the car keeps rolling.

He pounds on the windshield, but Mahoney is too busy looking under the hood of the abandoned vehicle to hear him.

The patrol car rolls down over the hill and falls out of sight, toward a river bed below.

Just then he hears a gigantic SPLASH and CRASH. He looks over the side of the hill.

The cadets and their Partners are pulling up and getti~g out of their cars. Everyone is excitedly comparing notes.

( CONTIN1"ED)

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After a beat, a tow truck drives up pulling a totalled patrol car. Everyone stops what they're doing to watch it. The tow truck door opens and Mahoney jumps out. He sees all eyes are on him.

l-'U>.HONEY We had a little accident.

Harris comes out of the truck. He has bandages all over his body.

Mahoney stands stiffly at attention. Lessard, Ha:z:ris and Callahan stand behind the desk.

Ma.honey stands there looking at him.

Mahoney opens the door, then turns back to them.

They stare at him. He exits, sla=ing the door behind him.

l'.ahoney exits into the bright morning sunlight. Copeland and Blankes are right behind the door, where they have ob- viously been listening.

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He walks past them.

Mahoney has his bags all packed. He takes out the resigna- tion papers and lays them on his desk. He shrugs and is about to sign them when an announcement comes over the P.A.

Cadets are running towards the dorms.

c~~'1ERADOLLIES PAST several rows of cadets standing ominously at attention in full riot gear. They are wearing helmets with dark visors so it is hard to make out anyone's face. Everyone is loaded down with automatic rifles and other anti-riot devices.

Lassard and STEVENSON, the Chief of Police, a silver-haired, distinguished-looking cop in a very decorated uniform, step up to che front of the line.

WIDE SHOT

The cadets all move quickly toward waiting police department buses.

Harris stands at one of che bus doors hustling the cadets inside.

A cadet moves past and starts to go up the bus· stairs. Harris does a take and calls after hirn.

l-!ahoney lifts his visor and winks at Harris.

(continuing) Get back here.

Just then Chief Stevenson comes up to him.

~ahoney ducks into the bus, followed by the others.

The bus carrying the cadets, Harris, Callahan and Lassard drives through a police blockade and enters the riot zone. There is debris everywhere. Smoke rises from several dis- tant fires. They pass a car that has been overturned and set on fire. Store fronts have been broken and we SEE a couple of looters carrying a TV set. Some teenagers appear and begin pelting the bus with bricks and yelling, "Pigs!"

The cadets flinch as the bus is hit by bricks. THROUGH a window we SEE a squad car racing to apprehend the rock throwers. The bus comes to a stop in an area that is filled with looters. Squad cars and out-numbered riot police watch from a safe distance.

Tackleberry jumps to his feet and yells out as if he's on the Notre Dame football team bus ..

TACKLEilERRY Let's beat 'em!

He'runs out the door followed by the rest of the cadets.

The cadets gather around Harris, Callahan and Lassard. Thev look to the lawlessness in front of them. Barbara is really scared as the menacing looters run with their booty.

Chief Scevenson enters.

Yes, sir.

L.:\SSARD Yes, sir. (to Callahan) Miss Callahan ...

/ Tackleberry ca.n't wait any ionger.

He runs pest Callahan, almost knocking her over.

Stevenson, puzzled, turns to Lasserd.

Lassard gives him a forced smile.

He turns to Harris.

The cadets head for the looters. Fackler flips down his riot helmet visor. However, it comes down too ..hard and hi ts him in the face.

The cadets, plus Harris and Callahan, reach the action. They grab at the looters Tackle berry has ro1..'~ted out.

WIDE SHOT

The cadets are taking people into custody. Copel~nd has his gun on a looter who is holding an ice cream cone.

The looter raises his hands and drops the cone.

The looter does as he's told.

ANGLE

Tackleberry is wresting a cone from a looter's hand as if it were a gun. Barbara is timidly helping load looters into a police van. He's obviously been dipping into the ice cream himself.. We see his mouth is covered with chocolate.

In the midst of all the action, Castro is leaning up against the side of a building, calmly talking to the female loote::: he caught.

Down the street a mob heads for more stores to loot. Break·- ing off f:::-om the main body are several obese looters who I smash into a Big Man's store.

She is putting a prisoner into a police van. Just before she closes the door we HEAR MAHONEY.

He and Castro enter carrying a color TV.

He puts the TV into the van and closes the door, and it drives ori:. Castro and Mahoney wave to the van as if it's a car full of relatives.

Castro puts his arm around Mahoney.

Mahoney turns and spots Barbara leaving his post and quickly moving into the men's room of a gas station. Mahoney points this out to Castro.

A nearby mini-cam news team is filming the action. Hahoney's eyes light up.

They cross to the news team.

i'!AHONEY (continuing) You guys want an exclusive. follow us.

Mahoney and Castro lead the news team to the gas station rest- room door.

Mahoney quickly pulls open the door. The cameraman races in as Mahoney swings open the stall door. Barbara sits on the pot, blinded by the glare of the TV lights.

No one is in the room, but the TV set is on. A well-dressed ANCHORMAN is talking INTO CAMERA.

Mrs. Lassard comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her. She looks at the TV and drops her towel in shock.

She is standing outside a store when a large man knocks her over and runs down the street. She instinctively jumps to her feet and yells out to him.

Her voice, for the first time, rings out with authority. The man stoos dead in his tracks and i=ediately puts up his hands. Hooks i~ as surprised as anyone.

99. I

HOOKS

Shit. (to Looter) Get over here, turkey!

The Man comes over to her and she grabs him roughly by the shirt and leads him to the police van. Harris is standing by the van and is in the way.

Stunned, Harri ..:. steps aside. Hooks tosses her looter into the van and slari J the door shut behind him. Harris spots Barbara going by.

Barbara runs to his side.

EXT·. STREET COfu'-TER

It's a quiet neighborhood. It seems far removed from the riot action. Harris and Barbara pull up in a squad car and get out.

You stay here.

He hands Barbara a walkie-talkie.

He gets in the squad car and drives off, leaving Barbara alone.

-

They form on a city street. Suddenly a squad of police cars, with lights flashing and SIRENS blaring, come around the corner. They drive into the crowd, breaking them up.

Inside one of the cars are Mahoney at the wheel and Castro at his side.

This is easy.

Castro hits the SIREN a few times.

STREET

Another group of rioters is "-1..orn11.ng" • The police cars take off after them.

l1.<\.HONEY Here we go again!

He hits the SIREN.

STREET

The mob breaks into t-,m bodies. All the squad cars go afte:::- one mob, except Mahoney, who goes after the other. This was a bad move. They are now in the midst of a street filled with rioters. Mahoney hits the brakes. The rioters quickly surround the car. They begin to pound on the car and tear at it, ripping off a bumper and a light.

l1.<\.HONEY (to Castro) Gimme your gut feeling. You think we're in trouble now?

Rioters climb all over the car. Mahoney hits the windshield wiper, trying to slap the people away. Seeing this isn't helping, he hits the window cleaning button which spritzes water on the windshield.

He hands Gas tro a bullhorn ..

K,IBONEY (continuing) You go out and talk to them.

He gives him back the bullhorn.

l"f.Af!0 NEY Okay. But I really think you're going to wish you were doing this.

Mahoney opens his car door.

Much to the surprise of the rioters, Mahoney gets out of his car. Stunned, they watch as he climbs onto the hood of the car. Seeing things have calmed down a little, Castro gets out of the car also.

The crowd yells angrily.

The crowd surges forward.

K~.HONEY Hold it! Anyone here from out of town?

Mahoney plays the rioters like they were customers in a small lounge in Las Vegas.

K<IBONEY (continuing) Any birthdays out there? Anniversaries? Are ya having fun? Here's a song I've had many requests for time and time again .. ,

The crowd comes at them with kill in their eyes. Mahoney drops the bullhorn and climbs over the roof of the car and jumps off the trunk, followed by Castro, and closely by the rioters.

The rioters become suspicious. They slowly walk up the hill. Now their reflections are in the mirror. Barbara looks behind and sees their images and he knows they've caught on. Wisely he runs as they charge after him.

I COPEL".ND

You chicken-shit assholes.

They pull their guns on the mob. The mob cowers for a second. Copeland thinks this is funny and he laughs his head off as he threatens them with his gun. The crowd is getting angrier and angrier. Unfortunately for Copeland and Blankes the chain link fence ends. They are now face to face with an angry mob. They back away and point their guns at the crowd. The crowd charges and, panicked, they throw down their guns and run.

A MA1\J in the crowd picks up the guns and savors his find as the crowd, minus h;m, chases after Blankes and Copeland.

-,A.HONEY We lost them.

They peek around the corner of the building. Simultanequsly peeking around the same corner from the other side is the other half of the mob. Both sides are startled. Mahoney and Castro run and the mob joins up again and gives chase.

Sergeant Harris. I'm being chased by 30 rioters!

speaking into his walkie-talkie.

i Barba=a r~ns by Ha~ris. He's still talking into his walkie- talkie.

( CONTINfficD)

Surprised, Harris watches Barbara pass by. He looks in the direction of the mob.

They are on him before he can react. Several subdue him, while the others give chase. Fackler sees what has happened and he runs to assist Harris. He takes two strides and falls from sight as he steps into an open manhole. He crawls out of the manhole. Bad timing on his part. He is right in the middle of the mob chasing Barbara. ~hey don't seem to know he's running with them. He tries to ~ 0 ke him- self invisible so he hunches dowu as he runs. Fina.lly someone notices he's a cop.

Before anyone can react, Fackler turns on the speed and runs past everyone, catching up with Barbara.

Their elation is short-lived, however, when they see that Fackler and Barbara are also being chased. To a.dd to their woes, coming straight at them are Blankes and Copeland who are running for their lives, chased by people who want to kill them.

All parties meet in the middle of the street in a massive human collision. Cop bumps into cop and rioter smashes into rioter.

Fina.lly all parties untangle and each mob finds th.e cops they were chasing before, picking up the pursuit where they left off.

MAHONEY A).'D CASTRO

They run into an alley. Unfortunately it's a dead end.

Oops, my fault.

The mob sees they have them cornered. They fill the alley. Mahoney grabs a beer bottle out of a trash can. He breaks it off and brandishes the jagged edge at the crowd.

A huge hulk of a man in the crowd picks up an empty Spark- lettes bottle. He breaks it off and brandishes it at our guys.

Suddenly GUNSHOTSring out. Everyone scatters in a frightened stampede.

The GUNSHOTS continue. Mahoney and Castro peek around a corner and see a sniper on top of a nearby buildi~g. He's the same Man who picked up Blankes' and Copeland's guns earlier. He has police pinned down behind their squad cars. The police don't dare fire back, and we quickly see why. ·The sniper is using Harris as cover. Lying face down in the street with no cover is Thompson. A police officer is also trapped and lies beside her. Bullets kick up aroend them.

Mahoney waits for his moment and runs to the building where the sniper is. The sniper catches a glimpse of Mahoney and he FIRES a shot, just missing him. Before he can get off another shot, Mahoney is at the fire escape, out of his view.

Mahoney runs up the fire escape. It's a long, exhausting climb. Halfway up he has to take a moment to catch his breath. After firing a volley at Thompson, the sniper starts to search for Mahoney. Castro springs into action. He jumps out from behind the corner of the building he's hiding behind. He waves his arms and yells, attracting the sniper's attention.

The sniper FIRES three quick shots at Castro, who just makes it to cover.

The Cop next to her looks up. It's Reed, the cop who put him in the Academy.

He's winded, but he makes it to the top. He takes out his nightstick and surprises the Man with the bat, who is stand- ing near the fire escape, He raps him hard on the balls. The two others come at him and he hits them in the balls. One by one they recover and each time he gives them another shot to the family jewels. The sniper can't get a good shot at Mahoney because one of his friends is always in the way.

Finally he pushes Ha=is at Mahoney, Ma.honey sees a.nether person coming at him, and instinctively he raps him in the \ nuts. Unfortunately it's Harris, who is now one of those ca1,1ght in Mahoney's nightstick to the balls rotation ..

Finally the sniper rushes Mahoney, who is busy rapping a pair of nuts .. He smashes him hard on the back with his gun. Mahoney falls. He lands hard on his back, almost unconscious. The sniper stands over him.

He raises his glli, to shoot. Just then a. large, black hand g=abs him by the shoulder and spins him around. We REVEAL it is Hightower.

Mahoney staggers to his feet and picks up the Sniper's guns. He looks at the handles.

BLlu'f"lES AND COPEU~'ID

They know they're in big trouble.

L<\.SSARDAND CALLAHAN

They can't believe it.

( CASTROAND HOOKS

They jump for joy.

109 .. ,

He and Hightower exchange hugs.

A stage has been set up and some spectator stands, which are filled with friends and relatives. The cadets are in full police uniform, sitting proudly off to one side. Chief Steven- son and the other instructors sit behind Caotain Lessard, who is in mid-speech. •

WIDE SHOT - THE SPECTATORS

They applaud wildly ..

MEDIUM SHOT - L~SSARD

M.AJtONEYAND THOMPSON

She hugs him proudly. He gets up and crosses to Lessard at the microphone.

( REACTION SHOT - THE OTHER CADETS

They are cheering and applauding wildly.

He blows kisses at the crowd.

It's right after the ceremonies. Cadets are walking to ~heir cars ca=ying their suitcases, saying goodbye to each other,

Ha=is and Callahan are shaking cadets' hands, congratulating them.

Reed comes up to Mahoney, his arm in a sling, but he is smiling broadly.

Rf :-:;D Before I got squared away I was the same kind of asshole you are.

( ANGLE - CALLilli.!l.N

She spots Barbara. He holds out his hand and she grabs him, planting a big, wet kiss on his lips.

He races past her. She looks after him with stars in her eyes. He walks to his pa.rents' car. His mother gets out and hugs him. His dog takes this opportunity to hop out of the car and race to Lassard. The dog immediately jumps on • him and reacquaints himself with Lassard' s leg, pumping away like there's no tomorrow.

Tackleberry moves through the crowd of parents and friends, now a proud cop doing his duty.

The new cadet class, dressed in their civvies, is lining up. A bus is unloading the frightened new recruits nearby as Harris encourages them to move quickly.

ANGLE - HIGHTO\,t.R

He is standing in the front of the line. Harris comes UP to him.

L~.RRIS All right, class sergeant, get these people moving out.

The, cadets start to march in very sloppy formation.

RACKFOCUS TO our cops.

fa~1GLE- COPELJ~1DAND BLANKES

They are marching along with the other new cadets, not looking too happy about it, Hightower moves up to them.

HIGHTOw"ER Let's go, scum, pie~ it up.

They obediently move quickly with the others.

Mrs. F. pays no attention to him as Fackler follows the cadets off into the distance.

Mahoney and Thompson get into Thompson's car., It's all decked out like a car after a wedding with balloons and crepe paper decorations.

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\ EXT. CAR

Mahoney and Thompson kiss, and as the car drives off, we can READ the sign on the back: "NOT MARRIEDJUST !L1.VINGSEX."

CANERA CP~!u\JESUP as the car drives off. We can SEE the new cadets marching with Harris and Callahan screaming at them.

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