EST. LATER - HIGHWAY - EXT.
Clark's pocket and shakes the ball in his The Salesman puts
Ed! there, Hi, (continuing) CLARK
ball. showroom squeezing a tennis out of the comes tooth sportcoat, fast-talker in a polyester hound's a slick, SALESMAN, Clark's
the street. and shoots across dealership driver The hiker jumps into Clark's old car and blasts out of the
guzzler. old gas Say good-bye to the away. Take her Trade-in. Clark Griswold! CLARK
him the car· keys. hand and tosses Clark shakes his up. A CAR HIKER in greasy overalls strolls
a Lacoste shirt. and Rusty is in jeans new car. pick up his He's excited and happy to suit. summer-weight and a glasses He's wearing hornrim fatherly. handsome, is mid-thirties,
AFTERNOON LATE - CAR DEALERSHIP SUBURBAN - EXT.
Where? (puzzled) CLARK
she is! There SALESMAN
Claud. Sounds exciting, SALESMAN
Walley World. The big vacation. the whole family. Takin' California. for in the morning We're leaving come in on time. to wasn't going car We were afraid the CLARK
They walk around the dealership.
Come on around back. SALESMAN
The Salesman smiles.
your trade-in? You bring thenl Let's get it SALESMAN
squeeze. Rusty an affectionate Clark gives playing with a tiny portable pac-man, is uninterested. Rusty,
Look at him. Couldn't wait. Yep. CLARK
I don't know, sir. DAVENPORT
Where is it? Griswold ordered a blue Sportswagon. Mr. SALESMAN
on a rag. hands wiping his
I'm going to get to the bottom of this. To himself:) an:grily. down looks on hips, (hands Davenport!! want you to be happy. but I Beats the hell outta the Sportswagon, A damn fine automobile. Truckster. the new wagonqueen family This is Claud. think you're right, I You know, SALESMAN
even the right model. isn't Th.is The sportwagon. Antartic blue. ClARK
Rally fun-pack. and the optional Sportswagon with C.B. · Super ordered the Antartic Blue, I distinctly Ed. ordered, the car I This isn't Rusty. Take it easy, CLARK
the car. over to Clark steps
The wagon. Right there. SALESMAN
orange station wagon? An AUDREY
Changed my mind. No, it isn't. CLARK
right car? the Is that Clark? ELLEN
of the house to inspect the new car. come out AUDREY ELLEN and It continues to run on. again. guns it and turns it off Clark restarts the engine, out. Rusty gets shivering and chugging. on, It runs engine. Clark shuts off the The orange wagon pulls in the drive.
EVENING EARLY - HOUSE GRISWOLD - EXT.
CRUSHER AUTO - YARD JUNK AUTO - EXT.
I'm not falling for this bit. my old car back. Give me fine. Okay, CLARK
buzzers ... warning safety features, air cushions, push-button radio, all the newest FM Truckster is your.automobile. the Wagonqueen Family whole tribe, you're going cross-country with the Tell you what ... If Griswold. Mr. It's going to take a good six weeks, SALESMAN
You learn. honey. You share impressions, you meet the people. you see the country, you sing, you talk, car In a worlds. own and they're off in their headphones on their everybody puts get on a plane, You a family. spend time together as The idea of a family vacation is to CLARK
cross-country. Especially Clark. Lots of families fly, ELLEN
sweetie pie. through that again, go not ·Let's CLARK
two weeks. have We only to fly out to California. too late it's not Clark, You know, ELLEN
them into the dishwasher. and loading
key release colutm1 and a special steering air bag valve releases
deceptively conceiled fusion of shoulder-harness release buttons, to extricate himself and the ignition key from a con- tries Clark is all but suffocating as he car stops the engine. and final jerk of the sudden forward a An air bag inflates as
do that. All new cars CLARK
Why is it still running? ELLEN
one. on this got a great deal I arrive in time. The car we ordered didn't Nothing. CLARK
What happened? ELLEN
hours per day." cost per day, per hour,
hours per day. ... and cost per day, cost per hour, mile, cost per miles per hour, per gallon, down into: total miles , miles broken thing whole I've got the Russ. knew you'd be interested in this, I _ (continuing) CLARK
screen an "X" flashes in Southern California. On
the way. missing any of the good stuff along time at Walley World without fun get the maximum amount of we sure wanna make I the old apple here. on figured out the whole trip I Audrey, sit next to Dad. Russ, CLARK
on small console. buttons by punching some USA program to map of Clark changes Rusty's
Clark kisses her on the cheek and starts for the family room.
to fly. I just thought it might be easier ELLEN
Then what? babies are all grown up. little my and realize that days I'm going to turn around-one of these on the weekend. h~urs few night and a a few minutes at in the morning, few minutes them a see I time. the You see the kids all long ride. an awfully I'm looking forward to CLARK
through the kitchen door. this strangeness
sweater just above her training out his back and pushing Audrey's by her waist.while he is seated, pulling to lift her up He tries ~--) \. ·. Come on over here . (affectionately) Where'd you learn about the Concord? And you're growing up so darn fast. Not fly over it. your heritage ... hand your roots, to experience first want you I own country. our across That's the whole point of us driving ·cl.ARK
Switzerland for their vacation. Con·cord to on the them first class dad flew Jessica Forsken's Yeah. AUDREY
Clark is trying to keep car out of trouble.
to avoid by moving red dot. as Clark tries space ships some attacking remote control unit Rusty punches. in from his C_'.)
explain the old trip here. I'm trying to d'ya mind? Rusty, (continuing) CLARK
down Route 55. already progressing
the car, on the screen and pursues A small pac man appears
... And (indicating "X") Walley World. There's kids? With me so far, (continuing) CLARK
The kids operation. well-plann~d hands in anticipation of a
Ellen gets in. started.
engine Clark gets the Everything's in order. She smiles.
do before leaving. to things running over her mental checklist of to the car thinking, Ellen walks Rrrr! Rrrrl Rrrr! trying to start the car.
DAWN OF CRACK DRIVEWAY - EXT.
clearing the ground by six inches. down, loaded
the roof rack and climbs lashing luggage to Clark finishes
down. open and drops The door swings same time. both at the
and then tries thinks He steps back, won't open either.
on the side. He tries the handle open. down to door drops top center indicating that the there is also a handle at
as Ellen continues with the ba-ba's. to the kids turns Clark
... Barbara Ann hand my Take Barbara Ann Barbara Ann ELLEN AND CLARK
chance on take a thought I'd so I Ann Saw Barbara romance dance looking for a Went to CLARK
Ba-ba-ba-ba-barbara Ann Barbara Ann and a reelin' Rockin' and a rollin' me rockin' You got ELLEN AND CI.AIU{
Barbara A-a-ann Ta-ake my ha-a-and A-a""'.ann Barbara (falsetto) CLARK
Ba-ba ba-ba-barbara Ann. (joins in)
Ba-ba-ba-ba-barbara Ann.
are singing merrily. A~l beatiful day.
MORNING LATE HIGHWAY - EXT.
garage. flooding the causing a geyser of water that starts of pipe out of the wall, limit and finally rips several feet its hose is stretched to
to notice the garden hose is pulls out but Clark fails car The
the moosiest moose we know? Who's (sings) CLARK
song. cartoon· figurehead's park's the Wally World theme theme, rendition of the Marty Moose He leads the family in a rousing Clark clears his throat.
national anthem of Walley World! the It's We all know it. got one. I CLARK
a sing-a-long song. Daddy means ELLEN
song! That isn't a a minute. Wait CLARK
Work that sucker to death ...u death To Work that sucker to death death Work that sucker to (hand-clapping chant) KIDS
tune. a They silently agree on look at each other. The three kids
don't know any of your songs. We AUDREY
leaving Chicago in B.G.
volume. up Rusty turns same Walkman and grimacing. is plugging her headphones into the
Audrey Sony Walkman; from· a on headphones has already put Rus··ty
"E" is for everything you want to be! RUSTY
"S" is for super-swell family glee! AUDREY
you see! we' re merry, merry, "M'' is for CLARK
show? favorite the star of our Who's ELLEN
darlin' ... " dum dumbee doobie doobie darlin, "Oh, little anyway. for gas stof to Got little darling. my dokee, Okee CLARK
will you? give it a rest, honey, Clark, ELLEN
one eye and interrupts: She opens to be asleep. Ellen appears
moving along another section of highway.
C'mon, kids! world ... " " ... are the luckiest people in the (O.C.) CI.ARK
hear Clark singing. We whizzing past cornfields.
the plates. I'm just fixing honey. Get inside, CLARK
Clark? tank, the gas Isn't this ELLEN
tank door. the little gas opens
The kids get in and approach the car. Ellen and the kids in his left hand and the nozzle in his right hand, just as up with the license plate looks He the plate at its hinges. ripping sharply and dramatically, and.pulls his left hand top of the license plate with the grabs Clark confidentally tank at the back of a station wagon under the license plate. a man filling a Looking to the right he sees side either. gas· tank on that no that there is d:J.scovers removes nozzle and He pulls into the other side of the pump, line. .in waiting Clark cuts off other cars confusion and honking of horns as There is general pumps. around to the other side of the the nozzle, gets·into the car and pulls He returns car. the tank on that side of but immediately notices there is no gas
STATION GAS SELF-SERVICE EXT.
bridge. on the wrong think you're I Clark, (looking at the map) . ELLEN
dat ale man ribber." "Ole man ribber, (continuing) CLARK
Clark begins singing.
the old man. the old Miss, Mississip, the mighty That's the Mississippi, CLARK
The car cruises into the Martin Luther King Memorial Bridge.
interested in the view. seat, The kids are leaning over the front Ellen is perusing the map.
AFTERNOON LA.TE - LOUIS EAST ST. EXT.
river are we crossing now? What Dad? (V. O.) RUSTY
is wrong with me? What on the wrong bridge. Of course, we're O.} (V. CLARK
way we just came? Isn't California back the Clark? (cautiously) (V. 0 . ) ELLEN
opposite direction it was traveling across the King Bridge. heading the The station wagon crosses the MacArthur Bridge,
do you get ... " and what sixteen tons "You load Went back to work. Nope. CLARK
seven. famous decision back in eighteen something judge heard his case and made that courthouse where the this is the Well, haven't you kids? War, heard of the Civil You've Louis. freedom right here in St. took his master to court to gain his negro slave who famous a was Scott Dredd kids? American history anymore, Don't they teach You mean who was he? CLARK
where they made the Dredd Scott Decision. That's kids. landmark, a real That's There's the old courthouse. Oh look. CLARK
of America that we never see. a part This is Look at it this way. CLARK
business being in an area like this. We have no so dangerous! This is ELLEN
Will you relax? CLARK
you going? are Where Clark! ELLEN
slumped Ellen is terrified, hunched over the wheel. Clark is
the window. up Clark quickly rolls
Mama! Fuck yo' BLACK VOICE
expressway? how to get back on the me I wonder if you could tell Pardon me! ( continuing) CLARK
down his window. He rolls
back on the expressway. how to get I better ask these fellas (to Ellen) CLARK
The station wagon cruises slowly down a street in the bowels
EVENING SLUM STREET - EXT.
for directions. I'm not giving you five dollars CLARK
dollars. Fi' MAN YOUNG
Sure. (smiles) CLARK
For free? What? MAN YOUNG
the ·expressway. me how to get back on could tell I'd really appreciate it if you CLARK
We're from out of town. (continuing) CLARK
Excuse me, bros. CLARK .
down the window. Clark rolls BLACK man roller skates past the car. A young windows. hanging out of People are sitting on porches, stop's.
plight? Are you noticing all this Kids! _ (to· the kids.) cities. our eyes to the plight of the can't close We that's bad. No, CLARK
Don't make eye contact, kids. ELLEN
her. staring in the window at nervously at the faces smiles Ellen
Some guys are spraying graffiti on coming down off porches. sliding off car hoods, People start to gather around the car,
Dat's where you turn. MAN
place say currency exchange? See da too far. dat's dat far, you don't wanna go fuck it, Okay, MAN
See, it say rib tips? See? MAN YOUNG
down the street. aims it out the window, mari The Clark holds out his finger.
hold it out ... finger, follow your Dat place, dat place? you see, 'cause, good dat's well, man, Okay, da way you pointing? see like you Okay, ya see? man, Okay, MAN -YOUNG
Keep the change. CLARK
bill. dollar the man the ten Clark gives him a ten dollar bill. She hands
at Ellen and Audrey through the window. MEMBERS are leering GANG group of On Ellen's side of the car a
do we go? Where ELLEN
gear. He puts the car in the window and sighs. up Clark rolls
You've been very helpful. (sarcastically) CLARK
pointing down the street. MEN have joined the young. man and are BLACK Several older
and drove? sat on my lap Remember how I laid back and you with the memory) (turning himself on
accident. amazing we didn't get in an It's ELLEN
swam and drank and ... We ELLEN
Do you remember what we did? CLARK
years. I haven't thought about that for recollection) (laughs at the ELLEN
Lauderdale in my Austin Healy. Ft. down to college when we drove me of the time in This reminds (continuing) CLARK
arm around her . Clark puts his She slides over next to him. Ellen looks at him and smiles..
next to me? Why don't you scoot over Ellen? CLARK
and smiles. corner of his eye the Clark looks at her out of the window. Ellen's staring out Clark's driving. kids are asleep. The
honey. thinking, was I That's not what CLARK
Ellen looks suspiciously at him.
lap? my Wanna put your head in pick the best one on the road. And I'm gonna we'll wait. Okay, CLARK
Let's wait 'til we get to a motel. ELLEN
arm around her. Clark holds his the seat. Ellen starts to move back across
little fun. That doesn't mean we can't have a CLABK
kids. two We have Clark. Lauderdale, Ft. We're not nineteen and on our way to ELLEN
The kids are asleep. CLARK
that's why! Because, why not? do you mean, What ELLEN
No. (continuing)I ELLEN
Are you serious? ELLEN
fond memory? Want to relive a CLARK
and locks in the extreme uppermost position so that it's up The wheel lifts a powerful yank. He grits his teeth and gives
The wheel's stuck! CLARK
on the wheel. He pulls
Cut it outt (O.C.) ELLEN
with a homey smile. down Clark looks
Clark? (troubled) (O.C.) ELLEN
pats her head. He settles back and he lowers the wheel. her head in his lap, Once she's got Ellen slips under it. to lift the tilt wheel. steering:column Clark hits the little button on the side of the
Wait a second. CLARK
lower her head. She starts to
BUSINESS DISTRICT TOWN, SMALL EXT. / ___ \_,
lodging" . food, "Gas , a freeway sign reading and past an off ramp down Car drifts
ACROSS PAN she's sleeping. to Ellen, BACK PULL door. the
She's asleep against to Audrey. UP PAN sound asleep. He's
The car cruises past a roadside motel.
No problem. hundred miles. could go another I I'm not tired. CLARK
don't want you dozing off. I let's just find a motel, please. No, ELLEN
I'll get this wheel fixed in a second.
/ ,. height. re~onable a more Clark rattles the steering wheel trying to get it back to I / a dirty trick! That was (rubbing her neck) ELLEN
SCREAMS. and eyes opens his radio,. reaches for the her, He kisses
off and cuddle with me. turn the T.V. don't you Why Honey, it's late. ELLEN (__~) . talk_in her sleep .
to staTts Ellen STATIC. "WITH CRACKLING is the station and
RADIO has drifted off The The Griswolds are still asleep.
TIME SAME CAR - INT.
and into the street.
out of the way as the station wagon tears between the dives
The man cocks his O.C. An engine drones late night duty. dog to finish his is in his bathrobe waiting for his MAN A
across the playground. swing set as it roars through a The station wagon crashes
-DINER ALL NIGHT INT.
adjoining door. and now appears at the closed the outside door Clark has
Pioneer Chicken box) (reaching for her have your breasts? Can I RUSTY
night bags. room with a couple of and Ellen's luggage and entering his tying down extraneous door, bedroom door and out the front We see Clark through adjoining on in B.G. The television is Audrey and Rusty are eating Pioneer Chicken on separate beds.
in shock. ah.ead are staring straight tumbled into the.front seat with Ellen and they kids have The
ones. on either side between the Griswold's car and two other parked There are ten inches lines in front of one of the motel rooms. to a stop perfectly parked between the white the car skids
on all sides, missing parked cars narrowly around The car spins
TIME SAME STREET - EXT.
eeekl ... eeek, Eeek, CLARK
She's briefly startled. sound from "Psycho". screeching Clark is imitating the drawn back suddenly. Shower curtain is
ROOM ELLEN'S AND CLARK BATHROOM - INT.
He's totally manic. Over-excited? RUSTY
Ten more hours in the car? AUDREY
tomorrow is ... You know what Okay? finish eating. soon as you sack out as You kids CLARK
for Christ's my damn wings, gave her I RUSTY
a little fast. up You're growing Rusty. easy, Hey, CLARK
my breasts alonel Leave Get off! AUDREY
us if you'd just try to relax. d be easier on all of think it and I way to Walley World, lon~ a But it's time. want us all to have a great know you and I you, trip means to know how much this I honey. Clark, ELLEN
and sits beside him. Ellen enters Clark is in bed.
tomorrow afternoon. there them know we'll be Eddie to let Maybe you should call Catherine and in the mirror) (looking at herself ELLEN
in. I'll be right own front. do your Go ELLEN
do your front? me to Want CLARK
back. my I already did ELLEN
do your back? Want me to CLARK
right in. I' 11 be you big hunk. me, and scare don't you hide under the covers Why (enticingly) . already . cold, the water's starting to get Clark, ELLEN
trying to maintain the mood. He embraces her,
Something's wrong here. Clark? shaking) (spilling and ELLEN
against the wall. a loud banging noise causing the wine to spill and making and quakes violently, the bed erupts they're about.to toast, As
to vibrate gently. The bed begins nightstand. coin slot on the a quarter into a "Magic Fingers" He drops
for this? Ready drink yet. Don' t Wait. CLARK
on the floor next to the bed. He sets the bottle pouring and hands her a,glass. He finishes
a nice thought. What ELLEN
He starts pouring the wine.
got the chicken. I When
When did you get that? (surprised) ELLEN
and an open bottle of wine. two plastic wine glasses He produces
I'm way ahead of you. Relax? CLARK
banging coming from the wall adjoining Rusty and Audrey's room.
a violent there is Suddenly, They begin kissing. bedspread.!
i' Ellen under the reJoins Clark closing the door. The kids exit,
Weirdo ramal they exit) (as AUDREY
Mom? Where's AUDREY
The noise abates. box. Fingers" "Magic the Rusty calmly unplugs
something. We thought.you were fighting or RUSTY
Don't you knock anymore?
her underpants throwing the bedspread over Ellen, up, Clark leaps
Geez, what's that noise?
lights behind them show Clark and Ellen on the floor.
They begin cuddling on the floor. \ · time. long done this in a We haven't ELLEN
down on the carpet. and they lie He turns off the light an extra pillow and the bedspread.
grabbing Clark gets out of bed, sound. muffling.the the bed
a pillow behind gets out of bed and stuffs giggling, Ellen,
stop momentarily .I . It should the noise. I'm sorry for
pound on I would Why be ridiculous.
What d' ya mean what are we Hello .
the phone) answering (continuing; CLABK
The family complies.
you hombres! Reach for the stars, COWBOY
few rounds of blanks into the air. a and fires
cowboy suit cheap COWBOY in a A listless family gets out.
looks sort of dirty and touristy . It (troubled) ELLEN
DEALS SIX-GUN OF HOME FORD CITY, EARP "WYATT The car passes
his cars! And there's where he used to buy AUDREY
law and order on. used to keep This is the very street Wyatt Earp CLARK
The Griswolds are watching out the windows.
commercial street. down the cheap wagon cruises The station 0
NOON - STREET MAIN SLEAZY EXT.
Clark tousles Rusty's hair. bar. The family moves to the Wyatt winks. Rusty slaps him five.
pardner. Give me five, (to Rusty) No sweat. EARP WYATT
Marshal. EARP WYATT
an ornery cuss. bartender, he's But watch what you say to our (back to the routine) sorry. clogged, Our beer tap's Clark) routine to address C, (breaks out of the punch. fruit Red-Eye a yourselves can mosey up to the bar and have Y'all g,m-slingin. no cussin', no fifhtin', No the Long Branch. Welcome to Howdy, city slickers. EARP WYATT
imported treasures. finest West's Old Gift Ranch and pick up some of the Bat Masterson's mosey on over to I'm giving you till sundown to (:more animated) COWBOY
I just broke a nail. car roof) on (hitting fingers ELLEN
Audrey? down, look real when I fell Didn tit first. a real gun at it was thouJht I Hell, didn't it? looked real, It c'mon. Oh, CLARK
hearing. impair the kids' That kind of noise can really Clark. I don't think that was very funny, ELLEN
CASHIER SHOT BRANCH GIFT LONG INT.
thinking he's backwards to the floor, Clark falls scream. girls The ECHOES in the saloon. tremendous blast The BI.AM! FIRES. He at Clark. s.ix-gun a around and levels The Bartender whirls
nice. isn't That Clark? ELLEN
turkey! wings, Move your chicken tenderfoot! Hey, (continuing) CLARK
He's going along with the game. Clark winks at Rusty.
you. I'm talking to yellow belly, Hey, (continuing) CLARK
The Bartender doesn't move a muscle.
who has his back to the family. BARTENDER, the
He's wearing jogging shoes. crummy Wyatt Earp. a That guy was RUSTY
they used mud . \ .,. And when they ran out of sod, Right! CLARK
Dad. they used sod, times of A lot RUSTY
so they used mud. bricks, the pioneers didn't have any You see, That's all. mud dwelling every built. Oh, it's only the largest free-standing CLARK
Mud? the House of What's AUDREY
House of Mud. The CLARK
Catherine said we just stay on 50. ELLEN
from the map. Ellen looks up
and get out of here. C'mon, let's pay for these fun anyway. It was what's the difference. Oh, CLARK
Sw.eeti.e? look real, Didn't it CLARK
Rusty defends himself.
behave yourself! Rusty, CLARK
tell Rusty to behave himself. Clark; Clark} (to Rusty! ELLEN
touching me with it! Rusty's licking his hand and AUDREY
going on? What's ELLEN
Ellen turns angrily in her seat.
OFF! KNOCK IT AUDREY
Suddenly Audrey yells.
Kids, alfalfa! Really? CLARK
make our bread from. That's what we you'll see wheat. If you'll look out the windows, kids, CLARK
Clark is giving a history lecture. them.
are expecting us. Catherine and Eddie And besides, one day. enough for Dodge City was ELLEN
Snothead fag! (to Rusty) AUDREY
road! I'm trying to concentrate on the CLARK
watch your language.
Retard! (to Rusty) AUDREY
You suck. (to Audrey) RUSTY
drivel to trying I'm (continuing) CLARK
the backseat. from the road to forth Clark turns his attention back and faces. in the children's
grows with everybody The fight Nerves are raw and tempers hot.
earl the No eating in CLARK
moneyl babysitting my them with paid for I AUDREY
Share the peanut butter cups! ELLEN
No eating in the earl CLARK
Eat with your mouth closed. Audrey! ELLEN
her teeth. and smiling with it stuck all over Audrey's eating peanut butter cups RUSTY
ahead. The car lurches gears. shi.fts smiles- at Clark and The girl
give me the cups. Audrey, ELLEN
PEBFOBMANCE OF A HIGH WHINE hear the SHOUTING,.we and the family SOUNDS ROAD Above the to belt Rusty. th/seat Clark turns in
something I Do hear him?! yow Did
We're making good time. Why? CLABK
does it? seem like it, Doesn't CLARK
Clark glances at the instrument panel.
looks at the speedometer. over and Ellen leans though nothing's happening. Clark pretends as
around The wagon veers slow-moving car. on a The wagon gains
you. Not another word out of any of ELLEN
explode. going to sounding as if it's KNOCKS and PINGS, The eingine Ferarri. up with the Clark hits the gas in a futile effort to keep
(MORE) hello to your second cousins. and say get out of the car Rusty, grown. they~ve God how the kids. you remember Catherine and Clark, ELLEN
You look great! age! It's been an to see you folks! are we ever glad my goodness, Oh, CATHERINE
looped six-pack holder.
a plas·tic of end Two others· are hanging at the cheap beer. a drinking He.~s back. him on the slaps and winks Eddie shakes it. Clark trembling hand. a a pencil mustache, juts out back and
hair slicked •black... jet guy with nervous a wiry, EDDIE, her.
The station wagon stops· and the family eight year old sis·ter. followed by an house, the side of the around come early teens a girl in their and boy- A skirt. her to clings a tee-shirt, wearing only· A toddler, bao-y. carryi;-i.g a is· She woman waves.
KANSAS· COOLIDGE, SUPER:
on blocks by the side. of the hous·e is an aging Ford pick-up Up cornfields. oy o.f land surrounded on a treeless· tract house
AFTERNOON LATE - FARMHOUSE EXT.
smoke hanging in the air. black a puff of sooty leaving The station wagon lunges ahead,
LUV ME. - plate on the back of the Ferrari Clark reads the California license Through the windshield,
know the feeling. I CLARK
a ribroast.on flies Bank's been after me likethough. how long, for know don'tI Yeah. EDDIE
huh? homestead, So this is the old looking really fit. You're Yeah. CLARK
the lines. and studying the front around.to walking the .car, He admires
What a beaut! Look at the brand new car! Hooboyl (whistles) EDDIE
toward the house. Catherine and Ellen head
out back and show them your worm farm. don't you take your little guests Why CATHERINE
like a bird and eats like a horse. Whistles though. about her, worry Don~t Clark. tongue, Born without a EDDIE
how old are you, little one? Well, Daisy-Mable) (bending down to CLARK.
Daisy-Mable. skirts_ is my moppet on And this little this is Junior. is Eddie junior and This and Dale. you remember Vicki Rusty and Audrey, CATHERINE
litter. to the few more mouths And added a EDDIE
weight. lost you've Cathy, Golly, (continuing) ELLEN '\-:-----' n making video game noises. leaves it in the back seat,
Dale and Eddie Jr. tie worms in knots. Rusty is watching as '"'--··)
at it. Daddy says I'm the best but Yeah, VICKI
Everybody does that. So? AUDREY
French kiss. I'm going steady and I old) for fourteen years is well-endowed (who VICKI
been taking it easy . took the kidney, I've since they but I'd help you with those bags, Come on in and see the guest room. EDDIE
Now you' re talkin' ... CLARK
huh? a cool one, use Bet you could Fuck it ... mortgage ... I never should've taken that second EDDIE
She's still alive? Aunt Edna? ELLEN
twelve with Aunt Edna. We're No ... CATHERINE
guess we're eleven, aren't we? I ELLEN
towels. off paper Ellen is tearing from the wall. dog biscuit and paint chips Junior is under the kitchen table eating a hamburger buns. ketchup and loading a tray with paper plates, Catherine is
eye. than an elephant' s got a stack of nudie books higher I DALE
you do? do So what RUSTY
some days. the toilet dad can't even sit on my But No. DALE
You got Asteroids? RUSTY
You got Space Invaders? RUSTY
Pac-Han? You got No thanks. RUS'rY
dark? Light or your bun. No, EDDIE
pink inside. a little Medium, medium rare ... Oh, CLARK
Eddie .is turning .hamburger buns on a barbeque.
Catherine she watches towels as absentmindedly folding paper and starts Helper, Hamb~ger Catherine two boxes of Ellen hands
Hamburger Helper? Wanna hand me the night jobs . one of the can quit I comes, the baby Eddie says when Oh, it's not so bad. CATHERINE
huh? hands full, You really got your Cathy. Gee, ELLEN
to live like this. able we'd never be without her social security, Frankly, but Eddie wouldn't let her. year·ago, ,:; ·,;· ;: r '.-,- to go back to Lake Havasu a She wanted been with us ever since. and she·' s Eddie ruptured his spleen, to help out when came She yes. Oh, CATHERINE
hears that. wait to see Clark's face when he I can't well. Well, My goodness. (a little worried) ELLEN
you betl Oh, CATHERINE
Eddie?! tomato ketchup, This real boy! Um, (loudly)
Have the ketchup.polite. Be honey. enough meat,You eat (whispering) ELLEN
No meat in this? Ellen) (to CLARK
Clark the ketchup. Ellen hands
Clark? don't you, myself, like it better than Tuna Helper, I ( 0 . C. ) EDDIE
Clark his. Ellen brings on the buns. dishes out Hamburger Helper patties
something. She's got her hand in the pitcher up to her elbow fishing for
supposed to starve to death? am I or eating, am I Well, you did. thought I EDNA
Claud? minutes, every five You enjoy throwing up EDNA
enjoyed fruitcake. We thought you I'm sorry. Oh, ELLEN
so long. Christmas that made me so sick for me the fruitcake for who sent ones Weren't you the remember you. I EDNA
Edna. Hi there, CLARK
embraces her gently.
carrying a walker in front of her that she doesn't Edna appears
Eddie? Your Aunt Edna, Edna? control) (shocked, but in CLARK
Ellen smiles pleasantly.
was just about to. I No, CATHERINE
Ellen the good news? Did you tell Clark and Catherine? EDNA
a silence at the table. There's
Rusty and Dale exit.
Wash your feet first. CATHERINE
Can't you see I'm eating? EDNA
Aunt Edna. Hello, (to Edna) RUSTY
Audrey and Vicki go inside.
See ya. (to Edna) Aunt Edna. to respects come and pay your Rusty, Hi. AUDREY
First say hello to your Aunt Edna. ELLEN
to Vicki's room? Can we go we're finished. Ma, AUDREY
Audrey and Vicki move up to Ellen. picnic table. Edna a plate while Catherine seats her at the Eddie fixes
sticky weed. Audrey's eyes bulge as Vicki pulls out a handful of strong,
How cool is this? yeah? Oh, VICKI
the shoe box on the bed. Vicki sets
Eve-rybody knows . VICKI
Does .anybody know about it? AUDREY
A blue ribbon. (proudly) VICKI
a small bronze trophy.
a bit too young for a perhaps It is a typical girl's room,
LATER BEDROOM - VICKI' S INT.
Norm live? Where's No problem. (after a pause)
What's the good news? ELLEN
big enough. head wasn't my they said the plate in 'cause disability pension my cuts V.A. now the and wouldn't you know it, they closed the asbestos factory, got laid off-when I Clark. for you, I'm glad things are going so good EDDIE
the can. holders are still attached to The plastic hand. Eddie has the last beer in his around. Clark and Ellen are sitting or standing Eddie, Edna, Catherine,
a magazine? you~ How do RUSTY
use them a lot. and I cherish those things I no! Shit, DALE
Dale hops in bed and clicks off the light.
some of them? to sell Would you want These are great. RUSTY
He got me the nudie magazines. me lots of cool stuff. he tells and up in August to pick melons comes guy who We got this DALE
flexing his muscles in the mirror on the back of the door. underwear Dale is in his through Dale's men's magazines.
is for you. This EDDIE
shoebox snd proudly hands it to Clark. a Eddie produces Clark holds out his hand to shake with Eddie. farewells. are standing on the porch saying their two families The
MORNING - PORCH , HOUSE EXT.
How much have you got? EDNA
Clark takes out his wallet.
we'd be insulted if you didn't ask. can help in any way, If Clark and I why didn't you tell me? C~therine, ELLEN
can't take a hint. He sure as hell Eddie. money, don't you just ask him for the Why EDNA
It's interesting. No. CLABK
hear about our troubles. Clark and Ellen don't want to Eddie, CATHERINE
we better get going. Well, ELLEN
about how much you liked mine. time you remarked were here last knew you did because when you I EDDIE
on the loafers. shoes off and puts He slips his
Eddie. 'em, love I CLARK
daggers at Edna. Clark looks
Edna adds her two cents.
them dirty. don't want to get I CLARK
chains out of the box. Clark pulls a pair of white patent-leather loafers with gold
really shouldn't have. mean you I You shouldn't have. CLARK
what to make of it either.
~n_owing ..not She shrugs He looks at Ellen. strange smile.
up at Eddie with a looks He the lid off the box. Clark takes
open it. Go on, EDDIE
Eddie. You didn't have to buy me a gift, CLARK
loudly in and out of her nose. She is breathing avoid touching Aunt Edna. to their bodies drawn in close to They have their arms her right is Audrey.
come! here we Walley World, CLARK
and pulls out. HORN THE BLOWS Clark dozen flat joints.
on top. thumb up keep your Remember, (whispers) DALE
window. Dale leans in Rusty's Clark gets in and starts the engine.
and thanks! Adios (continuing) CLARK
him in the back window. tosses up Dinky and Clark picks in. climb The kids into the car. Catherine and Ellen help Edna He ties the leash to the bumper. Dinky around behind the car. Clark takes the leash and leads
it. I better make space in the back for
slept in the barn. so he He had the runs last night. meet Dinky to You folks didn't get
'Family Feud!' He watches Dinky. name is His Edna's. Aunt It's DALE
A dog? is that? What CLARK
and everything. All walked Uncle Clark. Here he is, DALE
exhausted. She lays back, down.
and Aunt Edna's sounds the horrible from kids begin to gag The
Spit the goddamn thing out.I (revolted) CLARK
this. drink Auntie, · I choking Clark, she's (panicked) ELLEN
a::-.drinlc.-.7_ draws Edna Ellen quickly louder and more terrible.
choking sounds get The down. her throat to force the pill
grape, sets the pill on a Edna takes out a tablet the size of
a hors.e. She looks like child's teeth fixed? suggest you get this may I Ellen, (to Ellen) Don't be ridiculous! EDNA
Your pills stink! AUDREY
finds. a pill box and opens it.
Edna opens her purse and begins pulling stuff out and placing
Aunt dog. tongue reach of the oi forward out Tracy crouches
head! my Dinky's licking Aunt Edna! AUDREY
picnic basket! on the The dog went God! Oh, ELLEN
She smells it. She touches it. Ellen opens hers.
So is mine! yuck! Oh, AUDREY
My sandwich is all wet! Mom? RUSTY
The kids stare at theirs. sandwich. Aunt Edna digs into her
both hands . grabbing the bulldog with throws her head back and laughs, She
the truckers. and talking to bulldog hood ornament drinking beer
on the hood of one of the trucks stradling.the familiar Mack The Girl is sitting The red Ferrari is parked between two semis.
from a wicker picnic basket. sandwiches is passing out
in the slightest. Not EDNA AUNT
thundering volley. A final,
huh? Didn't bother your stomach at all, (continuing) CLARK
Edna tears off another one.
So much for the new car smell! CLARK
And the kraut was out of this world. (continuing) EDNA AUNT
splendid! It was You should have had the knackwurst. EDNA AUNT
made the worst burger I've ever eaten. They Edna. was just being honest, I CLARK
something to you? do Did they I'm just curious. you were so rude to the Johnsons?, inquire as to why May I Clark? EDNA AUNT
_/~TER SOLE DOVER OF HOUSE EXT.
/ eating. and continues shrugs sand~ch, mouthful of contaminated Edna looks up with a bulging rear back from the table. gag and The kids Clark spits out the sandwich and gags.
includes scenery and wildlife fun. and that price They're nice tents CLERK
tents? For three Thirty-seven dollars? CLARK
dollars. All rightee, that's thirty-seven CLERK
need three tents for the night. I CLARK
TIME S.AME OFFICE - INT.
Audrey follows. the pool. around the office to Dinky from Aunt Edna and runs Rusty takes
Bite him back. ELLEN
tried to walk him. he bit me last night when I Dad, RUSTY
take care of Dinky. Rusty, CLARK
Clark. bath, a long walk and a Dinkums needs EDNA
aren't the woods beautiful? my, Oh ELLEN
They have a pool. ···-- RUSTY
jump excitedly out of the car. The kids
COLORADO I WALSENBURG SUPER:
cinder block office. a and a swimming pool moose, decorated as deer and septic tanks above-ground tents, three-acre site dotted with rented pup
EVENING CAMPGROUND - ROADSIDE EXT.
even cruddier than you. It's AUDREY
a cool tent. Itts RUSTY
up her nose. Audrey turns a lantern.
open. the tent flap Clark holds
this tent smells! Clark, ELLEN
Ellen looks into the first tent. luggage. the
and down his golf .clubs sets and Clark They reach the tents
accommodations·. grumbling about the Aunt Edna is up the hill to their tents . .The family trudges
are standing disconsolately at the edge of a Rusty Audrey and
F°OOL SWIMMING E-XT.
Clerk smiles and slides a room contract across to Clark. The
All right. (gives in) CLARK
and everything. a pool It's got a nice place. looks like This Clark. Come on, ELLEN
This isn't very romantic. Clark? ELLEN
Clark and Ellen are in one sleeping bag attempting to make love.
AND ELLEN I s TENT CLARK INT .
most people are asleep. It's late; few lanterns burn in tents. A
NIGHT LATE - CAMPGROUND EXT.
and pulls out one of Dale's men's magazines. clothes reaches underneath the Rusty quickly pops open. his suitcase,
Mom you're bugging me! I'm telling AUDREY
and runs out of the tent. Audrey pushes past Rusty
saw you and Dale doing! I Mom what I'll just tell Go ahead. AUDREY
immature! so You're AUDREY
Audrey snorts and opens her suitcase.
You wouldn't dare! AUDREY
crap out of you. easy to beat the Audrey, it'd be real know, You RUSTY
I'm going for it! can't help it! I (:misunderstands) CLARK
A wild animal! ELLEN
embrace. from Clark's up Ellen looks
TENT AND ELLEN'S CLARK INT.
a moose. the front of the tent we see the head of In silhouette across Audrey stirs and sits bolt upright. BLEAT of a moose. HEAR the We on the tent floor. Rusty and Audrey are asleep in sleeping bags
smelly mutt! you Get out of here, kill him. going to Itm doing it. Dinky's CLARK
are cutting me. Your toenails Stop it! Clark! ELLEN
feet barely fit: in the end of the bag.
here! Get out of Bad dog! NotOuch! continuing) ( CLARK
through the bag. and chewing on Clark's foot he begins barking them rolling around, Seeing Dinky appears.
two. one heart beating for now we're one person, Honey, right CLARK
talk invas·ion of privacy II i Letts You wanna talk litigation? CLARK
oughta sue you! I clubbed me! son of a bitch that ever the first and you're Twenty-two years years. twenty~two I've been doing it for you jerkl the wildlife fun, This is CLERK
midnight? -at tent my head peeking in What are you doing with a moos·e CLARK
me for? Whatdja hit ! Chri.st Jesus CLERK·
jaw. He rubs his He's dazed and seeing stars. see the Clerk from the office.
We the head. and off comeshorns the grab then the hooves
shakes its head and The moose back in surprise. Clark rears
grabs his head with its front hooves.
loose with a baseball swing Clark lets head in the tent. BLEATS again and sticks its Th.e moose stands ready with it. of his golf bag and out Clark carefully slips the driver
flap. The moose's head is directly behind the opens the tent flap.
You walk him? (continuing) CLARK
daylight. re burning We' a move on! Let' s get kids) the to (calls CLARK
fresh hope. But with every new day there's No. (with a smile) ELLEN
Ellen thinks for a moment.
fun, isn't it? is it really Despite all the little problems, CLARK
She puts her arms around his waist. him her vanity case. Ellen hands cheerful and refreshed.
SUNRISE KOMFORT - KAMP EXT.
come back to bed. Clark, ELLEN
off to moose court? me Haul do? he going to What's CLARK
do you? You don't think he'd sue us, ELLEN
Clark puts his golf club back. away. The clerk storms
his underpants last night. Rusty slept in For your information, AUDREY
It's Audrey's turn! She smells like mothballs. last time. next to Aunt Edna sit to had I RUSTY
the problem? What's ELLEN
a joint) smoking (he mimes Audrey ... RUSTY.
Jose . way, No AUDREY
next. ·reyou Audrey,
flesh! my You're tearing Owl EDNA
He helps her into the.car.
RUSTY AND EDNA - ANGLE
luggage. He ties the leash to the rear bumper and starts loading the
Rusty tries to steady Edna.
kisses her on the forehead, winking at Ellen, door, He closes the
Audrey first. them in - He shoves
minutes. two Boat leaves in in. Everybody Cut it out. kids 1 -Ea-sy,
and intercedes. Clark hears the ruckus
Audrey hands her purse to Aunt Edna.
Now what did we do? shoot! Oh, (continuing) CLARK
Out of the corner of his eye he catches the motorcycle.
him to pull over. COP waves for The doesn't notice.
HORN, hits the He blows his with its lights ablaze. A highway patrol motorcycle is behind the station wagon
TIME SAME - HIGHWAY EXT.
from? coming Where's it ELLEN
you hear that rattle? Do ·CLARK
somewhere in the car. RATTLE annoying
Edna is Rusty's playing pac man. to the walk-man. Audrey's listening new. the day is The family is fresh,
MORNING LATE - HIGHWAY EXT.
shield. of dried blood is splattered on the motorcycle wind-
police brutality. s~y than you could my revolver faster with the butt of in uniform, I'd split your skull I wasn't If Shut your mouth, sir. COP
weaving or something? I Was speeding •.• was I I don't think CLARK
Out of the .car. COP
on them. have small droplets of dried blood helmet and glasses
Officer? What's the problem, {innocently) CLARK
pleasantly. smiles down his window and Clark rolls
you hold my purse? Will AUDREY
from the bumper. He unhooks the leash
a kid. was I pooch like that when a had I head sadly) (shakes his shame. a But it's can buy that, sir. I All right, COP
terrible. feel I I'm sorry. Jesus, forg.ot. I It was confusing. packed the car. I when bumper I tied him to the on purpose! you can't think I'd do that My God, (quivering voice) CLARK
It's probably pretty stiff. Well •.• (long pause) COP
No, sir. (in shock) CLARK
frayed leash. a up the end of down and picks He bends
face is plastered in the back window of the wagon. Rusty's
COLORADO DURANGO, SUPER:
and belches. a tear, sheds a gasping breath, She takes moment. the builds with
hands Clark the leash.
the police stopped us. and we can be thankful that maniac a was driving like I was speeding. I Listen to your mother! Russ! CLARK
Ellen turns quickly to cut Rusty off.
for thousands of miles. You've been exceeding the speed limit was afraid you'd get pulled over. I EDN~ AUNT
knuckle. Ellen is biting a drawn and pale. face is Clark's
arm up and flexes his biscep. He puts his adjusts his shirt. He wipes his mouth and combing it forward. his hairstyle, comb and adjusts Then he whips out his that Ellen's asleep. he glances over quickly to see appears in his mirror. the Ferrari as if out of nowhere, Then him up. perks moan of the Ferrari engine in the distance ~retie The mind is wandering. Clark is driving, it's boring and his
see. behind her ear and into her mouth so that Rusty won't up through her shirt collar, which she has threaded book: and eating. shoestring licorice a Audrey.is reading snoring and gurgling. Aunt Edna is asleep in back, seat. Ellen is asleep in the front It is quiet once-again.
huh ••• Uh, WAITRESS
Got it? (to waitress) CLARK
dog killer? good restaurant, a This your idea of EDNA AUNT
struggling under the WAITRESS approaches the car, A a drive-in restaurant. parked in The car is
Don't be silly. CLARK
The engine kicks in and Clark puts it in gear.
You're blushing? are you sweating? Why happened to your hair? What ELLEN
and the flush in his face. She notices the sweat hair. Ellen notices his .RRRRR! RRRRR! He tries the starter
died on me. The engine just know. I don't CLARK
puzzled. Ellen looks at Clark, their bearings.
get They look around, family. awakens the The silence
BEEPS and the car surges ahead. HORN Ferrari
The cleaner and dies. vacuum a It Buzzes like wagon.
the station Clark floors MOAN. ling high-performance
sexy grow- a .a-_gain,..her.s She revs cheesy six cylinders.
He puts his car in neutral and revs his play her game.
The girl puts the Ferrari in neutral forehead. his
form·on beads of sweat begin to Clark swallows hard,
up her left leg and puts her foot She lifts winks at her.
Clark glances over, up beside the car. zooms The Ferrari
\_) and we've still got plenty of cash ••• cardsj "'\ B, I've got my where they fell off. them when we don't know we'd find no chance Number one, there's Ellen. CLARK
from the entrance. are approching
MORNING NEXT - MOTEL WIGWAM EXT.
into the sunset. The car continues bump. small a as the car goes over pavement and hit the Two suitcases slide off the back
could happen to us. guess there isn't much more that I CLARK
chuckles. arm around her and He puts his down. Clark breaks
Looks like cheap wallpaper. (shrugs) CLARK
a beautiful sunset? Isn't that ELLEN
up next to Clark. Ellen cuddles As dusk approaches,
said Grand Canyon. highway we were on the But Clark, ELLEN
think we're lost. I Clark. ELLEN
My eye. Ouch! AUDREY
the cigarette lighter. a portable electric razor plugged into shaving with Clark is a flying nail. Audrey is hit in the eye by Rusty is listening to the walk-man. her nails. Aunt Edna is clipping Ellen is looking at the map.
She gets in the car.
bumper. rear me to the you don't tie long as As ELLEN
trust me honey? Don't you check down the road. a can always cash I and diaphragm, we can't replace except for your luggage There's nothing in that CLARK
Rusty. Thank you, CLARK
knows where he's going? You don't think Dad Shut-up Audrey. RUSTY
from nowhere to nowhere. road leading
already? Can we just go, AUDREY
Make that the second biggest. CLARK
goddamn hole in the world! It's only the biggest Jesus. CLARK
off this road. going to find the Grand Canyon honestly do not think you're I ELLEN
the computer. ago on time long worked out a I a short cut said this is I And CLARK
nose to mid-knuckle. the digit up his
a suitcase and forward luggage inside the car slides The
Clark's glasses fly off his face.
MOTION SLOW IN CUTS QUICK - CAR INT.
Clark's golf clubs scatter. the car goes flying, luggage atop The EXPLODE. the front tires pop open, and doors hood The the cliff and lands in the wash. The car sails off a wash. The road ends abruptly at
a five and flies off sign, "Road Closed" huge a past
family as the car flies We see horrified faces of the
••• Like this one. (continuing) CLARK
back at the road breifly. looks He
put up big signs ••• a road they when they close Audrey, (turning around) CLARK
trying to fold the map. Mom were and saw them when you I AUDREY
some detour signs. saw I Ma. AUDREY
You're lost! EDNA AUNT
wasted landscape. hunched over the wheel looking out across the Clark is
TIME SAME - CAR INT. j
50 yards. about jumped this thing You Dad. Gee, RUSTY
back over his shoulder.
bow-legged. She walks Audrey out of the car. Ellen helps
VALLEY MONUMENT SUPER:
somebody's teeth. Here's CLARK
up Edna's dentures. and picks down on the floor He reaches split at the nose bridge.
my period. just got I AUDREY
Ellen? my glasses? are Where CLARK
my brain! stabbed I (finger in his nose) RUSTY
my nose! broke I think I ELLEN
My bones! My bones! yammer) (toothless EDNA AUNT
Then all hell breaks loose! moment. a for
stunned The family sits and sprays. The radiator HISSES
want you to take care of things here. I a service station. down the road and find I'm going to have to hike Russ, Oh! (continuing) CLARK
He sees that Rusty is already there.
up here. Came on Rusty? CLARK
split your lip! out of that seat again and I'll Move and shut-up. Edna, sit down ELLEN
and shoves her back in. hand on her head
should be behind bars! You an automobile! to operate a license You shouldn't even have yammer) toothless crazy (continuing; should have taken an airplane. I come on this trip. never have should I want! I do what I'll me what to do! you tell Don't EDNA AUNT
dangerous out here! and It's hot Stay in the car! ELLEN
me out of here, will you. help Ellen, EDNA AUNT
tow truck. est from the near- three hundred miles I'd say we're about SO yards ••• some wonderment) (to himself, with ... It's nothing to be proud of/ CLARK
!!!!!.· Excuse me, a pretty smart little guy. You're CLARK
Let's not let her spoil our fun. rump, that's just the way she is. a pain in the be She doesn't mean to CLARK
Except for Aunt Edna. Dad. too, fun for me, been real It's RUSTY
with you. chance to talk man-to-man much haven't had I Listen, sure. Oh, CLARK
before dark. going to get us out of here I better get a move on if I'm Well, She'll take it out on me. with that beer on you breath. Don't let your mother catch you (continuing) CLARK
He crushes the empty beer can.
what? on our vacation and you know we're and own family my have I But now (continuing) CLARK
shakes it and looks at Rusty. Be looks at it, He realizes it's empty. empty can to his lips. Be puts the
••• We never had fun. sadly) (continuing: CLARK
from Rusty. He takes the can
know, in eighteen years .•• And you we'd take a vacation. summer every boy, a was I When (continuing) CLARK
Rusty chugs it. sips the beer and hands it to Rusty. pops the top, He
in the world. it was just about the best thing thought I shared a beer with me and my dad was about your age, I When (continuing} CLARK
Rusty to a natural scenic lookout. reaches into the car, pulls out a can of beer and leads
·. I MIDDAY - DESERT EXT.
He jogs off toward Monument Valley.
minutes. and a patrol car will be along in I'm sure this happens all the time You'll be fine. I'll be fine. CLARK
I'm gonna ••• not back in an hour, But if you're honey. All right, ELLEN
His eyes scan a barren wasteland.
Where are you going?Clark? (perplexed) ELLEN
here. You'll be in good handsRusty. . good talk with had ajust I (to Ellen) CLARK
still open. The doors are on her head. a wet towel back seat with Edna is in the wadk-man. in the sun listening to the Audrey is lying on a blanket looking at the map. front Ellen is sitting in the Clark goes back to the car.
TIME SAME CAR - DESERT EXT.
son. Good talk, (continuing) CLARK
He slaps Rusty on the back.
The camel is within 200 yards of him.
again. and falling staggering, getting up, Clark is falling,
of Lawrence of Arabia builds in background.
a distant mirage of Through the shimmering heat we see
LATER A LITTLE DESERT - EXT.
What an asshole. (to the other one) INDIAN
pass without him noticing them. Two Indians sitting motionless on horseback watch him
He lifts the slot cover and Nothing comes out. the knob. drops it in the coin slot and turns Clark fishes out a dime,
be okay? I Will my rear touched the ground. Mom, (whispers to Ellen) AUDREY
CLANGING on the floor in the repair bay. TOOLS LAUGHING and MEN We hear with a salted nut dispenser. Clark is fooling playing a pinball machine in the back. and Rusty her broken dentures upside down in her mouth, Aunt Edna with who's holding her stomach, Audrey, E~len, are exhausted expressions from left to right with blank, Sitting
DUSK - STATION GAS DESERT RON-DOWN INT.
Are you all right? tow truck for us. a camel called and a man on a Indians Some very nice worried to death. We were Where were you? Clark! ELLEN
room. the ladies coming out of Ellen is up to the door. Clark stumbles
DUSK - STATION GAS DESERT RON-DOWN EXT.
"Work that sucker to death ••• " (singing) CLARK
renewed vigor. jogging with a singing and He gets to his feet, starts hand. gas can still in its human skeleton with a rusted a sees lying next to him,
the road. to the next filling station down you can take your business say, I but like tar, We're slow as MECHANIC
shoulder. Clark a toothless grin and puts his greasy hand on his He gives nose with a filthy grease rag. wiping his MECHANIC with greasy coveralls appe¢s in the door, 6'5" giant,/.,-~x-like, LAUGHTER. A There is a roar of o.s.
much? Row come on. Come on, perturbed) (continuing; CLARK
The Men laugh again.
a smile. Clark forces laughte-r. They.Men roar with
your brains! fer manure You musta got· road. driving off a you all stupid as s·o shit- I never heard of no one ASSISTANT
Clark. addresses steps· forward and an assis:tant mechanic, One of the Men,
owe you? do I What CLARK
repairs·. the for Mecnantc the wallet to pay Clark pulls out his ca-r. the surround bay s·aunter out and Men in the repair The family walks out and gets into the car.
LATER STATION - GAS EXT.
shirt. He has left a greasy handprint on Clark's the repair bay. He takes his hand off Clark's shoulder and walks back into
boys? so, think Don't you forty days! thirty, in be able to walk there OUfhta He (continuing) MECHANIC
about your business practices? What's your sheriff have to say CLARK
You take credit cards? CLARK
a monkey wrench in his hand. The Mechanic twirls
all the money you got. I'm going to charge you 'Cause (grins) MECHANIC
a couple tires? and fix tow a car how much it costs to What does that have to do with CLARK .
And I'm asking how much ya got. MECHAN:EC ·.'!'"'"'•"•f'-- are. I'm asking how much the repairs CLARK
How much ya got? MECHANIC
again. The Mechanic puts his greasy hand on Clark's shoulder
Clark. She's asleep, ELLEN
private property? Did you go through her Rusty! ELLEN
you rotten sneak! purse, my through How would you know unless you went AUDREY
She has forty dollars! RUSTY
tow! and a tires two bald snow hundred dollars for five me Nothing except it cost CLARK
What's the matter? ELLEN
much?! How (barks) CLARK
do you have? how much babysitt_ing money Audrey, CLARK
gas. almost out of we're but Maybe, CLARK
the steering wheel. Clark pounds
glasses, pill boxes, He opens it and pulls out wads of Kleenex, Rusty carefully extracts the purse from under Aunt Edna's arm. - Lookl CLARK
obviously haven't. my cards which I saying I lost it and now the computer's had to report I and cards in Colorado my wife lost her You see no. No, Oh! CLARK
lost. been reported The computer says it's CLERK DESK
credit card. I can't take this I'm sorry sir. CLERK DESK
MORNING - LOBBY MOTEL - INT.
look at Clark with growing concern. They all
fun. working Old fashioned hard fun. That was CLARK
exhausted. from the car, back family steps
she missed. fun But look at the And she refused. CLARK
How come Aunt Edna gets to ride? (crabby) RUSTY
cars into. They didn't have motels to push their AUDREY
been for the pioneers. better now how difficult it must have think you•kids understand a little I CLARK
Clark, Ellen,Rusty and Audrey pushing the car. we see As the car passes, franchise motel complex.
NIGHT LATE - MOTEL - EXT.
work something out with you. I'm going to have to So, cents. and thirteen have six dollars I CLARK
much trouble. Having fun is too damn no. Hell, CLERK
vacationing? I don't suppose you do a lot of CLARK
Not without a major credit card. CLERK
The Clerk looks at the check and shakes his head.
I'd appreciate it. a hard place. and and I'm between a rock That's right CLARK
on our way to California. my cash and we're I lost all Look, CLARK
I can't do that, sir. CLERK
Clark starts to write out a check. i •· '
you take a personal check? Will CLARK
that out with your bank. Well, you'll have to straighten CLERK
lot. and across to the parking lobby Clark runs out of the motel
Clark looks over. the counter into the open cash drawer.
and the cash drawer opens. WHIRRS The cash register CLICKS, on the counter in anger. fist Clark pounds his the Clerk leaves the desk to answer it. PHONE ·RINGS and The office with anger and frustration. seething and bubbling from the desk, away Clark turns
here until the check clears. have you stay is can.do Only thing I CLERK
a prick. like for doing nothing more than acting in cash and keep.seven hundred dollars You give me three hundred dollars. one thousand for I'll write the check _ CLARK / I ••• I told you before CLERK
damn delays! No more Not on your life! CLARK
Clark! Pull over, ELLEN
your hats! Hold CLARK
down the accelerator. Clark slams in the distance. WAIIS A SIREN
don't you try Sanka? Why it's the coffee you're drinking. Maybe You seem awfully keyed up. you feeling all right? Are Clark? ELLEN
Ellen every few seconds. mirror checking ·the rearview Clark is
What's gotten into you?! Clark! ELLEN
Ellen screams. back doors still open.
the with He backs out engine. GUNS the Clark jumps in and
Get your butt in the earl Rusty!
' s Edna? Where l Come on I go Let' s CLARK
Have you lost your mind? ELLEN
But we can't let our guard down. description of our getaway car. He must have gotten an inaccurate , CLARK
He looks at Ellen. gas. Clark eases off the
robbed the motel! I CLARK :; ,.
lawl the from I'm running
What are you doing?l (to Clark) Don't you dare! ELLEN
Rusty hops over the back seat.
stuff out! ••• Get in back and start throwing CLARK
order at Rusty. an Clark barks
border. The station wagon smacks the sign and speeds across the
the way. look at each other with terror and dive out of The agents
waving their arms casually to warn and step into the road, ture Department agents see the approaching station wagon The uniformed Agricul- It isn't a criminal roadblock at all.
STATION. INSPECTION AGRICULTURAL EMERGENCY -- reads the road
A sign in the middle of sit on either side of the road. A couple of State of Arizona Agriculture Department cars
Roadblock! CLARK AND RUSTY
what that is? You-know Look way up there! Dad! RUSTY
seat. looking over the front Rusty is standing in the footwell,
Clark? could you, How get to prison. it until we hold You'll have to ELLEN
go again. have to I Mom! AUDREY
... ah It's, I'll let her tell you. (to Attendant) Ellen! (calls) my wife? where is my wife ... to that because just yesterday I said funny you would say You know, it's (cuts Rusty off) CLARK
the car. o.f Rusty looks out
Did you rob a motel? (suspicious) ATTENDANT
a guy who robbed a motel. say, for, here looking thr.ough were thought maybe they I nol No, (nervous) ~
You expecting one? A'l'TENDANT
through here lately? any state troopers been Say, CLARK
out and stretches. ~ets Clark the car as ATTENDANT approaches A young toward the station. and heads Ellen gets out The car pulls in and stops at the pumps.
LATER STATION - GAS EXT.
to her all the way to Lake Havasu. up and we'll have to listen Wake.her for Christ's sake! Let her sleep, CLARK
She needs to eat and take her pill. can you wake her up? Rusty, Auntie. including one for everybody, There's ELLEN
Ellen turns in the seat.
station. could eat a sandwich from a gas I I'm so hungry at the gas.station. got I Crack open those sandwiches CLARK
What? (grouchy) RUSTY
everyone else and pushes Edna over on Audrey. crabby as as
He's leaning against him. Edna is and wakes. Rusty stirs
Clark looks back over the seat.
for the gas.
payilng away without Attendant goes inside and Clark speeds The
Sure thing. ATTENDANT
do you? radials, steel-belted __ You don't have any Say 1 (continuing) CLARK
He clears his throat and pats the pump.
-'-----------------------'~~----'----'--'----"--........... ..1.............__._____..__ . A.....A...&..&...Jl s .... ~::I!. r-··:..::.......:.:.~~-2:.
dead! She's Big Mouth! She's not fine, ELLEN
Don't be silly. CLARK
J She ' s not fine (:worried) ELLEN
Ellen shakes Aunt Edna's knee.
fine. She's Let her be! few hours. in a we 're going to be in Tucson·· Ellen,
Auntie! Edna) (looks at Aunt be quiet! Oh, ELLEN
cry. She starts to Ellen reaches around and swats Audrey's leg.
- time. tlhe I'm sick of her laying on me all AUDREY
Aunt Edna on me. Audrey to quit pushing 1 Tel l Mom RUSTY
Get off mel AUDREY
Rusty. into/ She shoves Aunt Edna off her andAudrey wakes up.
;'
since we left the motel. mouse chg.rch a She's been quiet as
I ELLEN
him viciously scolds him. Ellen turns to pleased with the suggestion. He smiles,
come and get her. and he can Normie, your cousin, we can call phone we pass, first her here and the We could leave (thinks) CLARK
Clark? to do, What are we going near Tuba City. somewhere away passed have She must ELLEN
Ellen gets out of the car.
anyway! goddammit, Well, CLARK
on the car hood. He pounds his fist dust.
a cloud of up comes around the side of the car and kicks Clark They begin.furiously rubbing their hands and arms.
already! She's stiff Her hand touched me! RUSTY
breathed on me! A dead person on me! Breathed She AUDREY
shrieking. Audrey and Rusty are The family flies out of the car.
go on. flashers The emergency The luggage flies off the roof. a halt. GRINDS to The car jerks onto the highway shoulder and
scramble Rusty and Audrey It's chaos. Clark yells. car.
Clark loses control of the Rusty and Audrey scream.
_
he can! Yes, AUDREY
her up on the roof. put ~an't You Clark. No, no. Oh, ELLEN
doing. on to what he's thinking of and catches watches Ellen then at Edna. up at the roof of the car, He looks
pounds ••• a hundred She can't weigh more than (thinking aloud) days. Three days at Walley World, at best. straight through, we'd have three If we drove I'm being practical. Don't say anything you'll regret. CLARK
a finger at her. He breathes heavily and shakes Clark glares at Ellen.
most selfish scum. You are the lowest, ELLEN
and inquests and all that crap. don't want to get caught up in funeral just I Normie's for Pete's sake. Then let's take her to Well, hell. CLARK
look for the buzzards. All he'd have to do is to find her. for cousin Normie easy It would be (looking up) RUSTY
we don't. say ,.~lease ·we·? do a dead person,- we don't have to ride with Mom, (pleads)- AUDREY
Federal Express? What do you want me to do, call CLARK
meanest ••• You are the coldest, ELLEN
BLAST. HORNS car and Oncoming headlights flood the bumped and the car swerves.
Clark is jump in the front seat. scream and try to kids The
on the rooff It's footsteps Ah! (pause) Shh! CLARK
What? eyed} .. (wide RUSTY
Hear it? shhl ... Listen drama) (great . CLARK .
Clark turns his head back quickly and feigns fear .
Show some respect! it! Stop Rustyl ELLEN
wagon? s-tation haunted a as such a thing ce for there to possible it•s. you think Do Dad? Hey, RUSTY
me sick! making It's can still smell Aunt Edna. I Mom? AUDREY
you spy? what How can we see dark. It's Dad? RUSTY
Let•s play 'I Spy!' guysl Hey, CLARK
up the family. Clark tries to cheer to sit where Edna had been sitting. .not
so as pressed against the doors the back seat, in The kids are
----···
Will you watch your mouth! ELLEN
£. ag•of j always been a He ' s
Normie's always been flighty. ELLEN
even· home! isn' t coming and he we"re knows The moron· angry) (.disgusted;
Maybe the neighbors know where he is. ELLEN
home! He's not I for Christ's sake Aw, (.continuing)
POUNDS. Then he
KNOCKS. a moment and then He waits doorbell again.· He RINGS the
•· Questions? 'Twenty him to play ask I if How about (sarcastic) CLARK
about Edna dying. Don't just blurt it out Clark? ELLEN
Clark RINGS the doorbell. hairdo. holding the map over her head to protect what's left of her Ellen follows, up to the porch. Clark gets out and runs house. The station wagon pulls in the drive of a small adobe tract
it isl There
numbers. trying to read house window, Clark hangs out his broken ghost riding on the luggage rack. She looks like a draped figure of Aunt Edna on the roof. silhouetting the Lightning flashes, a subdivision street.
along the stat;on wagon creeps down in sheets as Rain pours
CITY HAVASU LAKE SUPER:
RESIDENTIAL STREET EXT.
97/98.
bow our heads. Let's CLARK
from Edna. Clark steps back
home. somebody's Don't die unless Yeah. AUDREY
death. thing about life and ••• some- hope you kids have learned I (sniffles) ELLEN
Mom. a cold now, She can't catch RUSTY
Clark, it's raining all over her. ELLEN
clothesline with Rusty's help. Edna to the chair with a He ties gives it to Ellen. He lifts the blanket that's wrapped around Edna and sion. shivers with revul- he's just done, what and then realizing a patio rocking chair Clark sets the grisly bundle down in
home? deposit box at the funeral I slip her in the night Should (loud whisper) CLARK
patio! can't leave Aunt Edna on the We whisper) (loud ELLEN
a golf umbrella over them. holding Ellen shepherds the kids behind, the patio. form between the houses to Clark caries the bundled
LATER - PATIO NORMIE'S EXT.
Clark kicks the front door and storms off the porch.
on Monday. Be back Have gone to Flagstaff. (reading aloud) CLARK
a note taped to the door. Clark finds
' \1 IT ....... - .. al: #i. 3[ ,& i1 .u...,,;....~.a. .u. . J.. .1. 1.. .._ __ ..,_ - ·------·~- ...w-~~---~--
Mom. Let's not go overboard, AUDREY
soul. hope that you have mercy on her woman and we We loved this Lord? ELLEN
looks heavenward. She him. Ellen sighs. and takes over for
best. my But I'm doing honey. minister, I'm sorry that I'm not an ordained CLARK
do it myself. I'll a serious matter. This is (continuing) ELLEN
She's peeved. a step forward. Ellen takes arms still raised to the sky. Clark turns to her, his
Clark? (interupts) ELLEN
speak of Karma ••• The Hindus Yea! tenure on this our beloved planet Earth. during his.brief by your dear son, Jesus, She who lived by the example set forth (continuing) CLARK
They're puzzled and confused by what's gotten into him. he delivers the prayer. up at Clark as looks family The
from the path of righteousness. swerved of thy flock who never member and descent good into your heavenly paradise this
Admit Yea! our moment of deepest despair.
ease our suffering in this Dear Gawd, CLARK
how. brief service in the only way he-knows Clark leads the wind STIRS and rocks the rocking chair.
The The rain pours down. bows their heads. family The
don't want to go to Walley World! I home. go want to I anymore. I don't want to be in the car AUDREY
cry. Audrey starts to them. Ellen looks back at
the morning. night and then we'll start fresh in somewhere to stay for the We'll find It's all over and done with. Look. CLARK
He turns back to the kids.
sure he won't mind.
I'm backy'-rd;. lawn chair in his a to
You left his dead Mother tied stand? What's not to under- Sure, Clark. ELLEN
· sleeve. he reads the note we pinned on Edna'a think Normie'll understand when I CLARK
spray. He holds the cigarette out of the broken window on him. Rain is pouring in the Clark is puffing on a cigarette.
go. Amen, let's CLARK
his soul. on mercy Have hope you understand. I family to have their vacation. ,, Walley World in time for his beloved /1 because my husband wants to get to / can give we this but this is all / know she deserves better than /We (continuing) ELLEN ) ___ \. r~-"
so much fun I'll probably forget ••• I'll be having when we get home. me to hang.myself Remind Honey? to Ellen) (continuing; Moose! Marty Praise (laughs) to see a moose, I'm on a pilgrimage I gotta be crazy. to himself) (babbling angrily CLARK
tires. size from the four different and wobbles The car vibrates gear and pulls out. in He throws the wagon
out of your assholes. Your gonna be whistling zippitty do-dah remove our goddamn smiles! surgery to fucking fun, we'll need plastic all going to have so much We're too. goirig to have fun, and you're fun I'm going to have fun! quest for a It's guest! a It's vacation. no longer a This is something! I'll tell you Well, bail out! fun park and you want to fucking ~- from the hours ten We' re he·ad. (~ fucked in the you're all think I around) (snaps CLARK
you think? WJiat do (nervously) ELLEN
Clark guns the engine.
rated anyway. Walley World's over- other time. some Maybe we can try it again AUDREY
Dad. It's been a drag, RUSTY
been one disaster after another. It's a pretty bad idea driving_out. seems like In retrospect it home. went just I wouldn't mind if we Under the circumstances, Clark? ELLEN lcO
- - .· .. - ... ..-... .............. - ··-. ~·--
What are you talking about? CLARK
kids! your some consideration for you'd have outbursts, I'd appreciate it if Next time you have one of your (angry) ELLEN
Ellen Clark is laying on the bed smoking a cigarette.
TI.ME SAME - ROOM MOTEL INT.
Another chain motel.
a chair. to tied she's up and realizes She .wakes Suddenly her eyes open. face. rain pours down on Edna's a lightning flash, There is
joint. a Audrey lights Clark. at Ellen stares in horror Silence.
1..L.....L.~~-------------- I I: I :I" E Ji t:·I :I I l.J.,.&.~..&..&.A.a...&.....&..~a.. tJ.:..!. __
honey. You couldn't afford it,
You' re looking fine tonight. party? You wanna have a Cowboy. Hey, HOOKER
peaks out at Clark. underpants and garter belt obvious hooker wearing a halter,
and an next room door opens The Clark closes their door.
TIME SAME .. WALKWAY MOTEL EXT.