"KISS KISS BANG BANG" (2005)

The CAMERA roams the canyons west. Starts high in the night air. DIPS toward the road, free-falling...

Whooooosh..! Falls into line, alongside fast-moving CARS, all rushing uphill... To an opuient HOUSE.

LIMOS rolling in, as we HEAR:

‘Camera descends, huge GALA in progress. © Wall to wall money. Two JUNIOR AGENTS go by, deep in debate:

the middle, Yoda points and says, "Luke, - you dumbfuck! Quit dickin’ around and pay attention." Then it goes back to normal. Rest of the movie, exactly the “game. Would you. invest. .?

' BN ALMOST HANDSOME MAN enters, dressed a tad shabby, sports the only | tie he. owns; welcome HARRY, our narrator.

Before he’s ten feet in, a tricked-out BLONDE approaches: —

No preamble; just like that. Harry smiles: oe eRY I invented dice. . . BLONDE Oo h ° ; _

The bionde shrugs. Says off-handedly:

FLASH: THE BLONDE, NAKED atop Andrew Stevens. She looks up, SHRIEKS--! A CREATURE swipes a CLAW at her. A bad replica of her HEAD blasts through a glass WINDOW.

BACK TO SCENE: The blonde smiles. Pause, then:

She walks away. He watches her go. Shifts his gaze --

LOCATES TWO MEN in the crowd. One's portly. Sucks ona cigarette, then glares at it like it just made him angry. The other is trim, wide-shouldered. .

Producer Shaw and Gay Perry wander near another, OBVIOUS GAY MAN (Perry is not obvious, F.¥.I.) and overhear:

. SHAW (cont'd) It's like, "Hey, an elephant -- Quick, . let's use its blood to paint my - boathouse." Not the first thing you think of.

BACK WITH HARRY: He discovers a VAST ROOM ~- 300 people.

_ HARRY (V.0.) L.A. -—- By now, you may wonder how I wound up here... or maybe not, maybe you wonder how Silly Putty picks shit up from comic books, point is, I don't see ‘another Goddamn narrator, s0 pipe down. How'd I get here? See for yourself.

CUT TO BLACK. Pause... then, over black we SUPER: HARRY |

TOY STORE. The east Village, Manhattan. The interior is hushed, dark. Closed for business. .

An idea which seems lost on HARRY LOCKHART. He pushes a . TRAM, heaped with toys he's stealing. Nearby, his pal RICHIE BAUER; similarly engaged.

Harry's on a CEL PHONE. Speaking in hushed tones:

“HARRY - | They' re all busy. Hah! Here.

“y Shines his light.on a doll: PROTOCOP ~ Protector of Man. — a 4 Protocop, is that it..? Protector of Man, he protects men. -

Harry shifts the beam upward, sees: BARGAIN BIN.

, YOUNG GIRL (0.S.) | That show was cancelled two years ago.

Just ask a -- wait, are they even open? Oo HARRY Holiday hours. Look, I gotta go, I' il

find it -- . ANOTHER ANGLE ~ ON JUNCTION BOX

We see the security system has been RE-ROUTED. Alligator clips, bridging the circuit. Nice work —- : ae oO

Until a BUS GOES BY outside.” wall, vibrating... One of the clips POPS free.

A BURGLAR ALARM, ringing. Continuous. HARRY and RICHIE come bolting out of the store. Feet pounding.

SIRENS, now, as prowl cars respond to the'call. | BAUER Shit! Shit!

The men. pitch forward into a big HEDGE. Crash through. - Into a courtyard, into someone's PARTY. BAUER pulls out

- A HANDGUN. Waves it like a wand. People evaporate.

- HARRY We're not shooting. anyone. Go right.

Harry kicks the door, SPLINTERS it. They race inside. Pull up short, sucking air. Harry shuts the door. . HARRY We're good.. We're not going down, hear me? Richie. Hey. You with me..?

A VOICE rings out: .

VOICE (0.S.) FREEZE.

It stops them cold. They turn as one —-

‘It's a middle-aged. SOCIETY. WOMAN. In an EVENING GOWN.

Holding a GLOCK PISTOL. | "HARRY Ma'am... look, we... we didn't do anything, we're not Senger Owe -- BAUER looks down: his own GUN, in. plain sight --

He snatches it up to SHOW her -+

Bang--! Her gunshot passes THROUGH HARRY’ Ss ARM.

. Kills his friend. BAUER collapses.

Echo, dying away. Harry, in shock. Looks at his pierced

_arm. Looks at his buddy --. a cut-string puppet.

HARRY ; You bitch..!

THROWS the gun. Just does it, without thinking. she 13 DUCKS... He finds the WINDOW. Takes a running start -~

. 7 | ie | “Comes out, an explosion of glass. Hits, rolls -- Comes ‘up running as the NEXT SHOT blows splinters from a tree.

A POLICE CAR

Comes squawling around the corner. Fuck. Harry flings

himself down an alley. The night, ‘ALIVE with sirens. .

He runs, breath sawing in and out. Rips off his jacket. . Doesn' t break stride, wraps his bleeding arm.

UP AHEAD: People, milling outside a doorway. Sipping coffee. AA meeting on break? He slows to a brisk walk. .

BEHIND HIM, a prowl car rounds the corner.

He's got 10 seconds. Nods to the group ahead. Hi, how . are you, I'm so fucking nonchalant, makes a production of YAWNING, ho-hum, hope they catch that fugitive -—

Ducks into the building, fast. Jacket, masking his wound. A POLICE SPOTLIGHT stabs into the foyer, shit..! Harry picks a door, any door. Goes through it, FAST --

A tidy office. THREE PEOPLE look up, surprised --.

At Harry, sweating. Going into shock. His face twitches and there's blood where Bauer: SPRAYED him.

- AN ELDERLY WOMAN (frowns disapproval) . Sir, that's the wrong door. Please go back out and wait with the others -- ' One portly man is studying Harry... abruptly interrupts: a MAN | | Grace, I'd say this guy's ready to go. Doesn't he look ready to go? We recognize DABNEY SHAW, the producer from before. He | smiles encouragingly. Harry, bewildered -- What's going . on, don't they notice he can barely stand up..? . “EXT. BUILDING - SAME TIME | “The POLICE CRUISER stops; a COP gets out, scans faces as

The seated trio watches, expectantly -- Harry's got paper in his hand. Gunshot wound, hidden. Blinks. Swallows.

Incredibly, begins to do an ACTING SCENE with the woman.

‘Harry, shaking. Breathing hard. Reads: Um... beat on me all night. You want me to give up my client, you can go spit.

Harry is swaying. . Close to blacking out. Jaw clenched. We hear the COP, now. Outside the door.

| ELDERLY WOMAN ‘Quit acting like the goodguy, jerkoff. You got your partner killed.

Harry looks up, startled. Recovers, looks down -- -It's there. In the Goddamn script. He swallows hard.

| ELDERLY WOMAN | He was in over his head, you knew it. You pulled that trigger. YOU killed him.

Harry leaps, SLAMS his fist on the desk. The casting people jump -- He’s delirious. Reality and fiction BLUR.

‘HARRY I didn't ill him, NE == he wanted in...

' At which point, Harry begins to cry. .Wracking sobs.

Silence. Casting people, staring. Harry sobbing. THE COP throws open the door, hand on his holster --_ .

He leaves. The casting people look at Harry. At each other. SHAW has a gleam in his eye. “Whispers:

“He draws deep on his cigar... CUT BACK TO PRESENT DAY:

‘HARRY, locking thoroughly out of place. Reaching for a fork, his tie in the tomato sauce, we HEAR:

HARRY (V.O.) (cont' a)

Now, Harmony -- different story, she was destined to be here. That's her, by the way, at the fireplace. Harmony Faith ~ Lane; IQ: 166. Job: Actress. Go. zigure.

New character -- our focus shifts. to A ‘WOMAN at the fireplace. Alternately eating pizza, sipping coffee.

A predatory ICM TYPE listens, impatient, as she RANTS - - with a Surprseing fierceness:

She gets up to fetch some, he never gets in a word. CUT TO BLACK -- Pause... then SUPER: ' HARMONY

_ HARRY (wv. 0.) oO Most people would say Harmony got to the

_ party because of the stuff with the robot. I'11 get to that -- but for me? The robot, uh-uh ~~ I'd go back a bit farther. Like I said, destiny.

HARMONY, AGE 7: We're on her face. In the b.g-, a sign: _ Harold the Great, it reads sideways. Now the tricky | camera ROTATES 45 degrees: the SIGN, no longer sideways. --

‘She's lying FLAT, encased by a painted. wooden BOX. Head out one end, shoes the other. Big SMILE.

HARMONY ; Harold, use your awesome might -- Save me from this hopeless plight!

HAROLD THE GREAT, age 9, nods to an OLDER KID: This kid in turn revs a CHAINSAW, starts cutting through the box.

‘Chainsaw, ROARING. HAROLD flicks his WAND, intones:

Harmony starts to SCREAM.

SHRIEKING. Writhing in agony. Tears streaming. Harold. stares dumbly. The kid with the saw, horrified --

_ Chaos. ADULTS converge on the scene. Harmony is twitching. In shock. Her DAD leaps to the stage. Grips the lid, HEAVES OPEN THE. BOX. Eyes wide, staring --

‘ Hacmcny is unmarked. ‘unscathed. She looks at her father. Looks at Harold, solemnly says:

She has time to smile before Daddy's BACKHAND erases it. _ INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Harmony reads to sick MOM, who lies in bed, beautific...

Whoops--! The camera breezes PAST MOM... a on the BOOK COVER. -A steely-eyed MAN eyeballs us... The Title:

You'll Never Die In This Town Again - A Jonny Gossamer . Thriller | 3

li.

ECU: SILLY PUTTY - PEELED FROM A BOOK COVER JONNY GOSSAMER’S image, unspooling before us, as --

HARMONY displays the putty to her SISTER JENNA, age 6, Jenna grins -~ BOUNCES it, watches it soar sky high...

TIME CUT: BEDROOM ~ LATE NIGHT Separate beds. HARMONY and JENNA; both asleep.

POV HARMONY: The sliver of LIGHT underneath the bedroom door. Suddenly eclipsed by a SHADOW.

Staring numbly. Her sister's bed is now empty. Outside the door, Papa's retreating footfalls. CUT TO:

Papa turns on an upstaire LAMP, light STABS DOWNWARD -- Illuminates the SILLY PUTTY... Jonny’s rugged face. Now hideously distorted, twisted. Looking up.... Helpless to interfere.

_ HARRY (V.0.) After Mom died, the girls were bundied off to Foster Care -- good news for Jenna.

(beat) Not long after that, Harmony skipped.

FLASH TO: A BUS, TOOLING DOWN I-79.

Inside, Harmony ~~ now a TEENAGER -~ sleeps fitfully, a Jonny Gossamer book in her lap. Her eyelid twitches.

HARRY (V.0.)

On the bus to L.A., she had a nightmare; in it, her running away made the Foster parents so mad that they gave her sister back to Papa. Harmony woke up sweating... then decided that this couldn't happen, not in a good world where heroes existed,

(beat) She didn’t stop the bus.

BACK TO THE PRESENT: PARTY HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT _

HARMONY, exhausted. She ambles along, sipping coffee, Stops to admire a set of walnut bookshelves -~

The ONSCREEN IMAGE abruptly FREEZES. Harry swears: .

HARMONY, age 34, splayed across the bed. Reading, In the background, the blue flicker of late-nite TV.

ANNOUNCER {ON TV} Now back to PROTOCOP, starring Jeff Neal.

ANGLE ON TV -- PROTOCOP blows holes in drug dealers. Harmony Looks up at the ecreen for a moment.

She puts aside her book... reaches for the TV remote and

that's when she hears the loud THUMP.

Her head snaps upward, alert -- CRASH! No mistake this

time. Breaking glass. She snatches up a wooden BAT.

Meanwhile, no HINT of caution by. the intruder .. CLUMPING footsteps. Ponderous. Harmony inches down the hall...

Reaches a corner. Hazards a look -- SENSE DEPARTS. Fish grow wings; the Cubs. win it in four. |

- PROTOCOP, PROTECTOR OF MAN -~ all six-five of him. Pneumatic joints. Robot HEAD, swiveling. Impossible.

His back is to her. “she darts a look at her bedroom: TV SCREEN -- PROTOCOP. Someone’ s throwing acid. on him. Returns her gaze to the kitchen -- |

Can't t be real, she says, as the crimefighter bumps her cookie jar to the floor, where it SHATTERS --

and that's when it gets REALLY weird. The robot bends, | joints clicking... Starts to eat the cookies. He's brought cheap WINE to wash them down. Enough is enough: _ HARMONY HEY, YOU! FREEZE!!

The behemoth reacts, STARTLED—-! Stands. WHACKS his head on a cabinet. Lurches drunkenly onto the BALCONY --

_ §$lips ona coiled HOSE. ‘Crashes through the flimsy ' . Yalling. Silence... followed by a distant THUD.

CUT TO: VIDEO ‘FOOTAGE - ‘SLIGHTLY GRAINY.

Flashing lights. Crime scene tape. A REPORTER does a stand-up, breath pluming in the chill air: - ;

. REPORTER (TO CAMERA) -+. sources close to Neal, who has not. worked as an actor in two years, said he --seemed despondent earlier tonight, during a re-run of PROTOCOP. The actor, who

' retains the costume he wore on the show, allegedly dressed up, stumbled down the — canyon road, and wandered into this Hollywood Hills guest house -- i

(points behind him)

-~ where aspiring actresss Harmony Faith Lane was shocked to discover hin..

ANGLE ON HARMONY - VIDEO INTERVIEW |

- HARMONY . 7 I'd jog by, "hi, hello,” that kind of © thing... I feel for the guy, it's like... it's like this city can't get. enough of messing with people; -like putting a whoopie cushion on the seat of the electric chair. Like that.

PULL BACK -- from a 52-inch.SCREEN. WIDEN to reveal a . paneled OFFICE... Producer DABNEY SHAW looks up briefly -- .

_ . HARRY (v. 0. 2) | And there it was. Destiny, bingo.

BACK TO THE PRESENT: PARTY HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT | ————

HARMONY, exactly where we left her. ‘Admiring BOOKS. . Having coffee. Starts to turn away. Turns back, blinks:

HER POV: It's the Jonny Gossamer books. All of them.

She can scarcely believe it. Reverently withdraws the titles, one by one from the shelf, scanning covers... .

- Small Town Boy Makes Dead * Little Girl Lust * Die Job She shuffles off, still clutching a book... CUT TO:

FLOP. Harmony hits the bed. Two days, no sleép. She Growses off... book slipping from slack fingers.

Lies, skirt hiked, hip laid bare. Party noise, - continuous. The door opens -- ;

The ICM TYPE we saw earlier peers in. Debates, if only briefly -- Enters. Shuts the door behind him.

Stands over her. Puts a. hand on her thigh, squeezes...

VOICE: (O. S. ) You’ d better be her doctor.

The guy spins around, caught ~- HARRY stands framed in the doorway. Big as life. Eyes flat. Cold.

_ HARRY Oo Walk away. Don't think. Just do it.

- HARRY No. You'll try, and that little experiment will end in tears, my friend. —

The guy stares at him. Makes no move.to leave. -

Eyes flat. Dead. Other guy thoroughly unnerved, CUT TO: ‘EXT. LAWN - NIGHT | Harry gets the shit beat out of him.

he ICM guy has him on the ground. Harry curled up ina defensive ball... The guy WAILING ON HIM. Over and over.

‘The guy spits on Harry. Walks back inside the house.

Harry kneels, sucking air. A shadow falls. across him -- GAY PERRY reaches out, helps him to his feet.

. HARRY. ‘Thanks... One of these days, buddy..? I'm gonna actually learn how to fight.

POV - HARRY: He sees HARMONY, stagger to a car. Gets in, as the ICM type hops behind the wheel, roars off...

' GAY PERRY Gay Perry?

. HARRY

(feigns ignorance). . Oh! Right, right, ha, ha. Dabney calls you that. You guys must be old buddies. ©

- HARRY Five years, wow. You still gay?

Harry winces as Perry applies peroxide to the cut lip.

- GAY PERRY Dabney wants you to take detective lessons. HARRY Come again? GAY PERRY

He's into this "method" thing, says you are, too. Hold still...- i

a (daubs beneath Harry's eye) ; Tomorrow I got a surveillance, you game? |

. HARRY - Surveillance. Who's the guy, like, a crimelord or something?

_ GAY PERRY oe Please. I'm guessing a sad, lonely © little man who singlehandedly haunts his own house up in the hills,

Harry stares --~ whistles ‘softly:

Just then the HOST happens by, double-takes at. Harry:

. DEXTER

I'm afraid I'm similarly afflicted. My daughter lived 10 years in Paris, says it's heaven for the vampire set -~

_ SUDDENLY, everytning FREEZES. The film comes to a: screeching STOP. Folks puepended, mid-sentence, we HEAR—-

THE MOVIE RESUMES. Dexter sees a mammoth CAKE go by: - Happy Birthday Ronnie, it pinkly proclaims.

‘DEXTER Excuse me, apparently, zm tO help cut this mong EROS tty.

Dexter leads it OUTSIDE, where a generic L.A. blonde shrieks, gives Daddy. a big old hug... Perry scowls:

HARRY: Precious.

, ar VALET AREA - NIGHT

‘The valets are — chasing some DEER out. of the road -- as HARRY & GAY PERRY wait for their cars.

an GAY PERRY I had that. Bobby | Mills...

Harry makes a lemon face; Perry tips the valet, gets. in his car. Harry, trying lamely for gamraderdie --

_ HARRY . . - You should, um, track him down. I got) five bucks says you could still get him. , :

ss GAY:-« PERRY , That's funny. I got a ten, says, "Pass the pepper." Anda couple quarters, do. harmony on "Moonlight in Vermont.”

HARRY

A talking monkey?

GAY. PERRY

Yes, a talking monkey. Ugly sucker. | Traveled here from the future, only says "ficus.” Detective lessons, Lomorrow. Don't forget.

(starts to pull away, stops) Oh, and Harry, your girl..? I know her,. she did some work for me. You might try the Domino Room.

With that, he roars off down the sloping drive -- CUT TO: FINGERS ON A KEYBOARD. An upbeat riff ushers us into:

HARRY enters the bar. orients himself. Eyes, roving... An ABUNDANTLY-BREASTED GIRL comes up to him:

‘GIRL Hey, there. I'm Flicka. HARRY Hey. GIRL

. ‘What do you do? Again the question. Harry blinks.

HARRY: I'ma private detective. You?

Wanders off. Easy come, easy go. He scans the crowd --

THERE. ‘Harmony. At the bar. No sign of the. asshole from before. Instead, a. semi-attractive female FRIEND.

As he watches, the FRIEND heads for the bathroom. _ Harmony alone, bingo -- he ambles up, trying -oe slick:

He winces, makes a show of rubbing his. shoulder.

‘Mmmm. Sore. (cracks his neck) © I .mean physically, not, you know, like a guy who's angry in the 1950's. (beat) I'm visiting from New York. Um, I think I saw you ata party, couple hours ago..?

She doesn't. look up. Sips her drink, says:

HARMONY

Why? , HARRY Why what? HARMONY

Why me? Seriously, how about that ‘girl sitting over there, look, she! s very pretty. |

“Indicates a bald guy. Looks vaguely like. Kevin .Costner.

HARRY ~— Jesus, that's reaching. Um, look, I'm _ interrupting, I feel badly, at least let ‘me buy you a--

- HARRY

SO, HARMONY co, You feel bad. Badly is an adverb, so to “feel badly" would be saying that the mechanism which allows’ you to feel is broken. HARRY . Well, then.

(clears his throat). That girl over. there, you said..?

int “Which way you lookin'.. (shakes her head) Nix, nix, that's the blonde; blonde 's pathetic. .

HARRY

Pathetic, I see. Because. .?

more times than she's had hot meals.

Worst thing is she's 35 years old, still

. trying to act. .I see her in auditions;

“thirty-four.

_She grins.

It's over, baby, you missed. Get a clue. That's charitable of you.

(beat) Mind if I ask how old you are?

. HARMONY Go for it.

HARMONY _

(chews ice) I'm a baby.

Upends her glass.

party with?

; _ HARMONY Fucking asshole. I just nseced a ide, « (eats peanuts) Sorry. I swear a lot. Did you know the host? I didn't. He looked really familiar, though. Probably an actor.

Before he can reply, the FRIEND returns.

HARRY * I'm talking to your friend here.

HARRY : Easy, sunshine, I'll have her back to you ina minute.

| | FEMALE FRIEND ‘She doesn't have a minute.

He starts. to retort -- bites it back. What's the point?

Harmony glances over -- blurts a LAUGH. Can't help it, he’s spot-on. Harry gestures to the bartender to cover the girls' drinks. Debates which credit card to use ---

' HARMONY grabs his VISA card. Makes it dance on the bar:

. HARMONY Pick me, pick me! (deep. bass voice:) No, pick me! :

She grabs his MASTERCARD. Makes the two cards fight. Harry looks at her like she’s grown a tail. . She giggles.

‘FEMALE FRIEND Stop it! Why are you humoring him? (to Harry: ) There's a table in that far corner..? It's a recommended cheeseball hangout.

HARRY

Your mouth is a recommended place to put a sock. (beat)

Princess... Scary friend... Goodnight.

'He shrugs on his coat. Turns away. . HARMONY, looking more and more agitated, until, finall

| | HARMONY Goddammit, Harry Lockhart, are you gonna recognize me or not?

That stops him. He turns back, frowning. Squints --

_ HARMONY

Embrey, Indiana!

(he's still frowning) Loved snakes, scared of spiders..?

(exasperated) God's sakes, you -- you were the Amazing Harold, no, HAROLD: THE GREAT, you cut me in half, remember?

. HARRY God... My God, Harmony..? Is that you?

Realization, dawning. Both frozen in place -- |

.Then she smiles and so does he and the years all drop and

shatter. He ENGULFS her in a hug. SPINS her. The FRIEND gapes in disbelief. CUT TO BLACK --

Harmony's FRIEND, dazed. Out of it. Head tilted back. |

HARMONY strips the label from a beer bottle, frowning...

Harry can't stop staring, mesmerized. We HEAR, supered:.

. FLASH TO: PEP RALLY - CHEERLEADERS Young HARMONY, age 16, among them. Kicking.. Cheering.

HARRY (V.0O.)

Well, that's ‘cause it fucking WAS her, I'm, like, the stupidest motherfucker on. earth.:

{sighs} It all came flooding back, how I was the one she confided in; the one she trusted. Meanwhile, she was doing every other guy in school.

- BASEBALL DUGOUT - TWILIGHT

Her head leans against YOUNG HARRY ' s. ‘chest. She's . eryIng.s a

a “HARRY (V.0O.) It was the first time I felt it, how _pitying someone and wanting to fuck them can get all tangled up in your head. Overwhelming sadness, meanwhile you. got a Rodney. Is that sick? I think that's . sick. — : a

BACK TO PRESENT DAY: HARMONY, tipsy. Excitedly reminiscing. ,

a movie crew came to town? i

Pause... Enehg very quietly, she says:

He watches her flatten the beer label in her palm. Leans forward, very intense, pronounces one word:

: HARRY Yet.

HARRY AND HARMONY. Laughing, silly... They walk, hips brushing. The female FRIEND waits sullen in a nearby car.

. HARRY eee you' re shitting me. Which one?

She waves dismissively. Harry frowns: HARRY |

What are you, nuts? You, like, beat the odde. National commercial --

Harry, it's NOTHING, it's bulishit, well,. okay, actually there’ Was one sorta cool moment, I do this little wave --

(catches herself). NO. Forget it. It was nothing special.

HARRY — Yeah? Well, guess what, black Patrick Swayze doesn't think so.

He points to a black man at a pay phone. ‘The guy does, he looks like Swayze. Harmony sprays liquor.

A pregnant pause. Harry feels giddy, Light-headed.

SLOW MOTION, she upends the flask, drinks... Never breaks eye contact. They're gonna have sex. CUT TO:

Sex, in progress. Two LUMPS, swaddled in a Polo comforter. Rolling around together -- CUT TO:

SAME PLACE ~ SEVERAL HOURS LATER

Harry comes awake slowly. Senses a warm body, moulded ‘against him. Glances over in that direction -- ©

Swears violently. It's not Harmony; it is, of course, the FRIEND. He claps a hand to his head. Looks at his watch -- 4:42 a.m. Eases out of bed, grabs his pants...

Tiptoes into the LIVING ROOM. Spots her purse. Grabs it, roots inside. ADDRESS BOOK. Finds the page...

| Harry's rental car blows by, down Sunset Blvd.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. Pause... The door opens. HARMONY is there. Terry cloth robe. Hair in disarray. Pissed:

‘I know, I know. I'm really SOrry. God... you still look great. Stunning.

_ HARMONY You got ten seconds.

. HARRY.

Okay, okay. I came here because... (deep breath) |

It sounds nuts. I just think you're so intelligent, and so attractive, I -- |

- HARMONY Okay, stop. “That's plenty. a HARRY But I ~- ‘ HARMONY

ENOUGH. Oh... my..-.God. You come here | at five in the morning to tell me how much you like me, after you just fucked my friend?

| HARMONY You said you don't remember!!

HARRY , Right! And if I was:that drunk, I could never have. gotten it up. See?

. (beat) . Look, I know this is... outrageous. I'm

not pretending it's normal, or that I'm -normal. I just... chickened out, and --

He yanks his hand back, BARELY in time to keep his fingers. SLAMM!!!! He's alone. Begins to walk --

As the streetlights blink off, one by one. INSIDE WITH HARMONY - AT THE WINDOW

She peers after him. Waits ‘til he's far enough away. Then lets go. and when the tears come, they gush...

“cur TO BLACK. A pause... then we SUPER: DAY TWO -- THE LADY IN THE LAKE

SLEET rushes out ‘of the dark. Pelts the windabdiela,

GAY PERRY drives, Harry beside him. Car, a mellow. coccoon. A sign reads Big Bear Lake, 5 Miles.

HARRY .

~- See, Jonny Gossamer would always take two cases, right? Seemingly unrelated. One's normal and the other, it's always some wild shit; then at the end they're connected, see, it's all one case.

. 29,

‘Harry's pawing through the glove box.» Extracts a small nickel-plated DERRINGER. Whistles Bone Iie

- GAY PERRY (nods) ; : ‘Derringer. Fires three rounds. I call it my "faggot gun."

‘Harry’ 8 “face contorts, like he just ate cat litter. He replaces the gun. ‘Perry chuckles.

Harry dutifully takes out a pad, writes AMES.”

, GAY PERRY:

Stopped by her house today? Ms. Ames is there with nothing on but a radio. Lights a cigarette, sits in my lap...

; ‘GAY PERRY - Of course not,. idiot. Hired me over ‘the - phone, paid by credit card. This job is not interesting. It's boring, write that. down, use like, three extra o's. Booooring. Good. Now circle it. HARRY Circled. Five o's plus I drew a: picture : ofa little sleeping guy, see..?

HARRY and GAY PERRY come loping into view, ‘hunched low...

Squat behind a woodpile, out of sight. | Perry removes his | gloves. Takes out a mini-cam, grins:

. HARRY Huh? Oh. No, not really. I mean, she... fucked everyone but me. That’s not true either, she made a concession. Agreed not to fuck my best friend Chook Chutney, even if he asked.

. GAY PERRY That was nice of her. Okay. Stay put, stay quiet.

Perry hunkers forward, toward the wood-shingled house -- at which point, THE LIGHTS GO OUT inside. .

- Perry stops in his tracks. Ears pricked. Now what..?

_The front DOOR begins to open. Perry BOLTS.. Back behind the woodpile, just in time --

As a LARGE MAN exits the cabin. Crosses to his parked car, whistling. A hooded parka makes an ID impossible. HARRY . Where the hell's he going? GAY. PERRY

How the hell should I know? I didn't. _ make these arrangements, my client did.

_ They listen as the car engine REVS TO LIFE --

Along with it, a repetitive THUDDING sound. Rhythmic. HEADLIGHTS sweep past -- the guy’s leaving.

GAY PERRY _ ‘What do I look like, his fucking mechanic? Grab that bag and follow me.

PERRY'S Jaguar drifts to the shoulder, lights extinguished. Both men emerge, silent.

. HARRY There. Up ahead.

Harry points through the trees to ANOTHER CAR, pulled - over under a canopy of pines. Perry shakes his head:

. GAY PERRY Not him. Not the same car.

"HARRY What the hell? He's gotta somewhere, he . turned off right in front of us -- They trudge forward, into the frozen woods. cur TO:

The two men reach the end of a rutted dirt TRACK. The trees give way abruptly -- Nothing. Only the lake. They exchange bewildered looks. Birds call. Wind blows. — Where is he?

Just then, as if on cue -- a CAR ENGINE becomes audible. Approaching through the woods at a good clip.

GAY. PERRY. . i Get down. . oO \

He grabs Harry, they both go. over the embankment. Stumble downward 30 feet. Perry clutches the video case.

. Up top, the ENGINE, drawing closer. HEADLIGHTS , above _ them now... Keeps coming... Something's not right.

They realize simultaneously: the car’s NOT SLOWING. They DIVE for cover--!

Hit the dirt, HUG it, while above them TREES AND BRUSH DETONATE, blasted to splinters as the CAR launches -- _-

SAILS OUT INTO SPACE. Executes a lazy roll in mid-air...

SLAMS TO EARTH. Gouges it..!

Two feet from HARRY'S HEAD. Snow ERUPTS. . Slams him.. Fills his mouth. He rolls to water's edge, looks up --

-Sees the vehicle BOUNCE, upside down... Out into the frigid lake. Impacts. .Hood.crumpled. Car, bobbing, . headlights spearing every which-way.

He can't remember getting to his feet, but suddenly HARRY > is moving forward. Vision blurred. Choking on. snow.

Plunges into the water. Flaps and flounders to the car.

Driver side panel, at water level. He HEAVES -- wrenches it open. Eyes darting left, right. . Reacts, startled:

The car has no driver. Interior, empty. Registers briefly that the GAS PEDAL is wedged to the floor.

Harry backs off, sputtering. . Walk-stumbles toward shore, NUMB, but now what's this, running. full out, it's PERRY --

YELLING something. Hard to hear, sound ET LOR

_ Harry looks at him, half-witted -~

‘GAY PERRY The sound, the sound we heard, GRAB THE FUCKING KEYS.

PERRY, blundering: headlong through the water. Legs -churning, as, without warning ~- THE CAR GOES UNDER. .

All in a rush, whoocoosh.. !- “TRUNK, last thing. to go -- Perry goes with it. Harry watches, thunderstruck, as the detective PLUNGES into the freezing water. Vanishes.

. The surface appears pitch BLACK. *

From underwater, a muffled report, BANG--! Pause. “HARRY, helpless. He stares. Shaking with cold...

PERRY SURFACES. Comes swarming up out of the deep. Arms locked. AROUND SOMETHING, a sodden shape -- i

. GAY PERRY s+. Help me... God...d-dammit..!_

HARRY is there, clutching Perry. Hauling him up, then just as quickly necoiling -~ oo

As a GIRL IN A FLOWER DRESS emerges from the water like Kraken. Perry gestures frantically to GRAB HER ARMS. Numbly, Harry complies --

SHORE - SECONDS LATER

' The GIRL flops from their grasp. Hits, lies still. Hair, plastered across her. face. PERRY collapses.

GAY. PERRY ; ...L-locked in the trunk.. had to... to s- shoot it open...

He looks over at her -- lets out an anguished sound. POV PERRY: A dead doll in a flower-print dress.

HARRY > Is... is she dead..?

GAY PERRY | No... she's j-just... resting her eyes, of COURSE she's fucking d-dead... her neck is broken...

The girl's skirt is hiked, she has no ee

_ Harry tugs the dress down, a useless bit of chivalry.

'. Perry scans the’ trees. . Reacts, startled . --

TWO MEN IN SKI MASKS staring down at him. He locks eyes with one, briefly -- Then they BOLT. Into the trees.

AN ENGINE ROARS. -Squeal of tires as a CAR drives off.

Perry shoots him a look.

Her face, what we see of it, appears beaten to a pulp -- Scalp, deeply GOUGED by a bullet.

- Perry's bullet. He groans, buries his face in his hands. .

Wind, soughing... From the rippling lake, a soft splash... Perry struggles to his feet. Shivering. GAY PERRY | Okay. We're outta here.

(frowns) Where's my gun?

Harry shifts, uneasy. Swallows hard:

Just now. I threw it in the lake. I figured, if you wouldn't do it, I would,

. I got priors in New York, man, I can't be doing this --

. GAY PERRY © You threw it away?? —

He storms toward Harry --

Perry stops. Takes a deep breath. Composes himself.

. GAY PERRY . It's okay... I... I get it, it's okay. I just got a little non-plussed... Sorry... (pauses, frowning) Whoa. What the hell..?

Kneels beside the VIDEO case. Gingerly pokes at it:

Harry leans in to look ~- Perry BOUNCES HIS HEAD off the case. Leaves a dent. ; 7 |

' GAY PERRY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

Harry staggers backward, swearing. Grips his head.

- ‘GAY PERRY . You idiot! You threw my $650 vintage. revolver in the Goddamn lake, what about when they. comb the bottom, ever cross your mind, they find that eae 7 they' il find the GODDAMN GUN???

He stands, runs a hand through his hair.

NO. The definition of the word IDIOT, — which you fucking are!. , _

He turns, fuming. Stompe his way up the embankment -

PERRY drives. He's donned a ary pair of sweats. Beside him Harry's still soaked, shivering. Perry' s mood: foul. ©

They exchange puzzled looks. Pause... Perry turns off onto the same rutted dirt TRACK. cUT To:

HARRY AND PERRY STAND, STUNNED . Staring forlornly. Overlooking the exact same beach -~

Now utterly devoid of CORPSES. Female or otherwise, _ Serene. Peaceful. Water placid.

| GAY PERRY Piss off. I could reach in and touch her exposed brain,

fe shakes his head, gazes out across the dark water.

a, GAY PERRY . We're getting out of here, now, and this _Shit better be improving your acting.

RAIN, constant. Perry pulls up beside Harry's rental,

GAY. PERRY | Whatever. Out. Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call.

. GAY PERRY

No -- "badly," it's a fucking adverb.

Who taught you grammar?

Harry exits into a DOWNPOUR. Barely shuts the door, Perry's driving off. Harry fumbles for his own keys --

BRAKE LIGHTS. Harry looks up in time to see PERRY reverse -- Pulls alongside again. Window slides down:

_ HARRY Look, you don't have to apologize --

He holds out Harry's cel phone, which is RINGING. Makes no move to let Harry in the car. Harry frowns. lLeans through the window. Answers the call, half in, half out:

_ HARRY

VOICE (0. S.)> | I'm trying to locate Harry Lockhart.

VOICE (0.S.) Mr. Lockhart, I'm Detective Sergeant Kale, L.A.P.D. Robbery/Homicide Division. Mind answering a question or two?

Harry's stomach does a slow, lazy roll...

In the car, Perry suddenly goes rigid. Ears pricked -- | VOICE (0.S.) Thank you. Are you familiar with a woman by the name of Harmony Faith Lane?

VOICE (0.8.) t'm contacting names in a pocket book, by all indications Ms. Lane’s. Your number appears on a piece of paper..?

a HARRY | Yeah, so? She took down my number, a lot of girls have. my number -~

VOICE (0.S.) I understand. It's just routine, we're required by law to treat every suicide as a potential homicide. -

VOICE (0.S.) Yes. Harmony Lane shot herself, sir. Just a few hours ago. She. ..wasss .. at hooo... found her... sorr... losing yo...

The phone's dead. Signal, lost. Harry stands” there, pole-axed... like he's taken a punch. Collapses against the car. Looks at Perry, stricken: HARRY Harmony... .she's dead. He stands, rain drumming on his head.

Harry's face tries on several different expressions. Rejects them all. He looks out at the drowning city.

| GAY PERRY | No making sense of it. In the end, I guess things just, um, happen for a re-- .

' GAY PERRY i I been to Baltimore; you win. Look, I'm really sorry. I gotta go.

He drives off. Harry, in the rain... Christmas lights, reflected in the glossy street. CUT TO: — HARMONY, IN A BRIDAL GOWN

She cuts the cake, looks up -- and SCREAMS. A big BROWN BEAR toasts her, turns to camera and saya

. BROWN BEAR I prefer GENARO'S. But what do I know? I suck the heads off fish!

An insufficient little epitaph. CUT TO:

HARRY enters, looking like someone turned a hose on him. HARRY (V.0.) I was tired, I was pissed, I was wetter than Drew Barrymore at a grunge club. I needed a hot bath, a warm bed. (sighs) But the night had other plans for me.

See, I forgot -- old Jonny, he always had two cases, remember..?

- Christmas MUZAK plays. Harry, completely done in. '- Dripping. He fumbles for his key, rounding the corner --

Jumps a foot in the air. Makes a startled "bark" noise.

She's there. Huddled in front of his door. Soaking wet, — shivering cold --

HARMONY. Standing there with cuppy-doq eyes. He stands frozen. Breath suspended. Both of them, in tableau.

She finds her footing. MOVES. “A rag doll.

Flops inte him, ENGULFS him on impact... . The two of them ' resemble a very emotional SPONGE. HARRY, struck dumb.

REVERSE -- Tight on Harmony, on her FACE, desolate... Squeezing him for all. she’ s worth. We hear HARRY :

| HARRY :

She answers him, voice uninflected, without hope:

Still in tight CLOSE-UP. A single tear escapes one eye as it comes flashing back to her, all of it --

FLASH: A CRIME SCENE.- CHEAP DOWNTOWN HOTEL ROOM

A police PHOTOGRAPHER'S flashbulb goes POP--! A female form, sprawled in a corner. Covered by a SHEET.

Weapon, bagged for evidence ~~ a Mossberg shotgun. . FLASH TO: HARMONY, speaking to a Homicide cop: HARMONY

Ieee I would've given her money. But... we haven' t spoken... in years...

(beat) Are you willing, at this Posi to make a positive identification?

She nods. The barest edge of the SHEET, lifted for her --

| _ HARMONY There, the... the birthmark. ' (swallows hard) It's her. It's my little sister.

PRESENT DAY - INT. HARRY'S HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

_ HARMONY paces jerkily to and fro. Soaked, shivering. High on something. or other. HARRY can't stop staring...

Al.

_ - HARMONY : Will you listen?? I have to TELL this, someone has to. believe ‘med.

HARRY | Fine, let me get.a blanket, I'll -- HARMONY I don't need a blanket. ‘HARRY ‘You' re shivering all over -- HARMONY | I DON'T CARE. | Harry sighs. "HARRY . Okay. Deep breath. Tell me what happened. HARMONY .

She got into my house. Yesterday, she

musta been broke. Swiped 200 bucks, a

credit card... California I. D. God knows. . what else.

HARRY

Back up. If you two hadn’t spoken in -- | HARMONY » Fourteen years. HARRY.

-- Fourteen years, right, and she didn' t know where you lived, now’ d she know, where to --

"| . HARMONY I WAS ON TV, FOR CHRISSAKES. I was on — the news, you can see the house, see the

number, boom, right there; getting in' Ss. easy, fucking robot broke the windows --

Even as she's freaking out, Harry's drawn to the wet dress, the pearling beads of water. on skin... |

The question comes out of. the blue. Harry blinks.

Harry, caught totally off guard; how can he handle this?

Harry stops dead. Favors her with a look of disbelief. She leans forward, intent. Locks eyes with him, says:

HARMONY | See? That's why I'm here, Harry. I “think my sister was murdered. I need someone to help me prove it.

- Stubs out her cigarette. Begins to talk as we hear:

FLASHBACK: RITE-AID - 40 MINUTES PREVIOUS

Harmony, clutching a happy red basket. Soaked and miserable; she’s been crying. Sees a bottle of Old Forester. Into the basket, boom. Steps to the checkout counter. Looks down:

A) bottle of booze; B) three jars of sleeping pills.

‘Casts about... grabs Twinkies, gum. Whatever's handy, tosses stuff in without looking. Opens a Twinkie.

THE CHECKER runs her credit card... Shakes his head. Tries again. Nope. Hands the card back, apologetic.

SNAP BACK TO PRESENT DAY: Harry, looking at her nipples --

_ HARRY Um, I’m sorry -- what were you buying..?

. HARMONY Whatever. Stuff. IT DOESN'T MATTER. Don't you get it? The card she stole from me was MAXED OUT. Right before she died, Jenna charged over 2000 dollars, © you don't find that a little weird..? To . some bullshit company. Ah. Plus her . birth control pill for today? Gone. Red flag. Why'd she bother with her pill?

Still pacing, jittery, jerky; Harry shifts uncomfortably.

:. HARRY. 7 I'd have =o check my schedule, but um ~~ |

_ HARMONY ‘Can you..? Just tell me, I' 11 get the hell out of your... your...

Without warning, her eyes jose focus, jmees buckle -- She promptly collapses. Harry has to CATCH her.

He staggers, off balance. ‘Shakes her -- Nix. Out cold.

He deposits her on the BED. Now what..? He grabs a . towel. Fluffs her hair. Steps back, frowning... She’s shivering.

It occurs re Harry, briefly, that he’s in much the’ same - shoes as the asshole guy at Dexter’s party.

Except she's. gonna get fucking pneumonia. Shit.

He takes a deep breath. ‘Pugs at her sopping ane Hauls it dripping up over her head. Looks down --

SEES THE SPIDER crawl from his pillow to her shoulder.

The size of a nickel, maybe (the spider, not the shoulder). Now it’s bound for her NECK...

Harry, appalled. Leans in, takes aim... Goes to flick the beast, MISSES..! It scuttles beneath Harmony's BRA. ~

Son of a bitch. He gingerly taps the bra cup -- Hello..? Mr. Spider..? Tap, tap. The breasts therein jiggle slightly. Harry takes a breath. --

Very fast, and begging forgiveness he yanks up the bra. Sees the black dot against a landscape of pink, FLICKS--!

Sends it sailing. Heaves a sigh of relief... Just as Harmony opens her eyes.

- HARMONY What the hell do you think you’ re dome?

oo ” HARRY _WHA..?? I... I didn't do anything --

CUT TO: ONE MINUTE LATER

HARRY, on hands and knees. Crawling up and down, swearing. HARMONY, under the comforter. Getting bored.

He changes directions. Harmony sighs:

HARMONY = Look, it's okay, I believe you.

HARRY gn? No. No, you don't. Just... hold on.

Harry stops. Regards her in disbelief:

He stops, hearing Harmony GASP: She's looking down.

Harry follows her gaze. She lets slip her bra, exposes _ one breast -~ it's there: just visible, if you squint...

A SQUISHED SPIDER LEG. On. her aureole. Trailing buggy fragments. She looks at him, radiant...

Granted, history has seen more romantic moments. Their eyes lock, over the severed leg. She offers a hand --

a HARMONY ' See there? I trust you.

-- But Harry refuses the offer.

Se, _ HARRY Whatever. I'm glad. -

‘Turns away from her. Sullen. Agitated. |

a HARMONY What is it? I'm letting you off the hook, you didn't go. anything -~

HARRY

No, but you thought I did.

' (spins on her:) Listen to me, if I grab your tit, it's a BIGGIE, damn, that sounded wrong, what I mean is, I'M ON THE HOOK. The hook is now my home! Meanwhile, you still talk to me..? Like... like it's an okay ‘lapse, oops, everyone does it, Jesus, what fucking guys are you hanging around? Are you just some... some girl who --

He bites off the sentence. She looks stricken:

ee HARMONY

Who what..? i. (beat)

Who what, Harry..?

He retreats to the BATHROOM. —

Look, just... forget I said anything. Get some rest. Tomorrow we'll start working on your case.

_ HARMONY So... you can do it?. You're not. too jammed up with other clients?

He shuts the bathroom door, blanches -- what the hell is he doing? He’s never gonna get away with this. Calls:

. HARRY Tomorrow afternoon good?

He unzips. Starts to pee. Rubs tired eyes... Reaches over, opens the medicine cabinet. Fumbles for aspirin --

The mirror nicely captures THE CORPSE IN THE TUB.

It swings into view. Sitting there mute, behind him. It's the girl from the lake. RIGHT behind him.

‘Flower dress. Hair plastered across her fish-white face.

Harry, OBLIVIOUS -- tugging at the childproof cap... Shakes out three pills. Pops them. Looks. in the mirror--

SPITS them the length .of the room. He SPINS, staggers on one foot. A burlesque arc of urine, preceding him.

Stands, blank. Utterly FROZEN. The poster boy for --cognitive dissonance (yes, they have that.)

-Realizes, belatedly, that he's peeing ALL OVER THE | CORPSE. Stuffs himself away, cinches his pants, as --

a HARMONY (THROUGH THE DOOR) Goodbye. I'm leaving..! Harry..?

Harry says in a small strangled voice:

He can't believe what he's seeing.

, HARMONY (THROUGH THE DOOR) Thanks! This is really great. ‘Bye!

“THE THING continues to be there, whether the fuck it’s ‘believed in or not. Harry fumbles out his phone --

' EXT. STREET - WITH GAY PERRY - DRIVING — NIGHT Perry, phone to his ear, incredulous:

GAY ‘PERRY: Say it again, they gave her BACK??

INTERCUT - HARRY - IN THE BATHROOM on the edge of panic:

7 GAY PERRY That's ridiculous. They don't even KNOW. you, they couldn't possibly-- 7

HARRY | _ They couldn't! You're right! And since the body can't be here, this is all a dream, and oh, look, there's Elmo the elf, GOOD MORNING, ELMO! What's in your. basket—- oo

48,

I... peed. On the body, um, can they... do 1.D. from that..?

- GAY PERRY SHUT UP AND LISTEN. First: wrap the body. Next, you have to find the gun. Say it with me, “find the gun.” —

| GAY PERRY Not MY GUN, idiot. If they dropped a body on you they also planted a gun, trust me. Move it. I'll be there in four minutes.

UINT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

HARRY comes barreling out of ths bathroom. Runs to the closet, grabs a blanket, as

Perry's Jaguar throws a SMOKING 180, leaves most of its tires on the road behind it. He blows. by camera, CUT TO:

A -38 REVOLVER

Underneath a sagging bed, as HARRY utters a triumphant GRUNT. Snakes out an arm, snags the gun, and meanwhile

DOWN IN THE LOBBY

Ding..! HARMONY steps off the elevator. Strides across the lobby. Idle glance at the concierge -- There are TWO COPS leaning on.the guy's desk. Speaking tersely.

CoP ONE --- caller specified room 314, some sort of... brawl or something. Violent.

Whoa, she thinks, that's Harry's room. But. violent..? Hell, she was just there. Walks slower, eavesdropping --

At which point, Harmony surprises herself by suddenly ‘blurting out to the cops:

HARMONY an No, no, it's not 314. It's 514. I was

just up there, it’ s AWEUL all those noises.

; COP TWO -Oh. Thank you, Ma'am. Appreciate that.

And on that note, Harmony, utterly perplexed, passes through the revolving ENTRANCE DOOR, out into the’ chill.

Grabs her cel phone, ‘she’, s gotta warn Harry and consequently FAILS TO SEE GAY PERRY as he blurs by, behind her. In through the revolving door -- —

Ding..! The elevator doors open: and out comes Perry. - Bolts down the hallway toward

-HARRY'S ROOM — SAME’ TIME

Bang-Bang-Bang. Fist pummels the door --

HARRY admits Perry, then quickly shuts the doors The PHONE is shrilling.

. GAY PERRY Don't answer that.

Perry, out of breath. Sees a BUNDLE on the bed, points --—

Harry pats his jacket pocket. Crosses to the corpse. They kneel. Harry licks dry lips, swallows, says:

HARRY

Perry. The sons of bitches made us. “Made me. .In town for two days, they know .who I am, where to find me. That's -- |

| GAY PERRY

-~- It's impossible. Yeah, I know. (looks up)

Fire escape.

The BUNDLE is slung between them.. Propped on their respective shoulders, sagging in the middle. . It's slow — going; a step-by-step balancing act. oS

_ HARRY Never mind. Ouch-~-!

He bashes his hand on the railing. Swears.

He looks at Perry. Perry looks at him. They stop. BOTH © “peer over the railing... Three stories, straight down.

A FLYING CORPSE hurtles into frame.

SLAMS down with a aick crunch. Camera pans up... Here . come HARRY & PERRY, scrambling down the stairs.

PARKING LOT - SAME

Keeping to the shadows, they lug the. bundle toward » Perry's CAR, over in a dark corner. Harry, straining:

. GAY PERRY It is. See, real-life people aren't legical, man. They get freaked out, - improvise -- HARRY Bw, shut up, you're changing your tune every five minutes.

Harry slips, DROPS his end. It thuds to the ground. He swears. Bends downs. -- FREEZES:

Headlights. Car approaching. FLASHING LIGHTS. Cops.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. ‘They frantically drag the — corpse toward a chain-link FENCE. Huffing, grunting...

Pick a spot along the fence, Heft the bundle, brace themselves and HEAVE --

ROLL HER OVER THE TOP

She flops into the bushes, CRASH, rustle-rustle..!

Harry follows with the GUN, chucks it, as THE POLICE CAR swings into sight and without miseing | a beat Perry says:

| _ HARRY What?

Perry plasters his mouth to Harry’ s. Harry, sputtering in protest -- Perry locks him in an embrace.

THE POLICE CAR cruises past. A cop shines a flashlight ~-

His partner shakes his head. The car idles past... Turns the corner... Gone. HARRY flings Perry away, sputtering:

HARRY So, Ack--! Aaaagh--! All right! All right, that's it. These lessons suck, I quit, this is not being a detective. Corpses floating in lakes, ‘people kissing people,’ ‘this is... this is WRONG.

Perry ‘clamps a hand over Harry's mouth, SILENCES him. . Out of the acai A VOICE?

VOICE (0O.S.) Somebody want to fill me in?

The two men SPIN ROUND, startled ~-

HARMONY stands ten feet away. Defiant. Without missing a beat, Harry turns, whispers to Perry: 7s

7 '. HARRY (startled) They are..?

He jogs over, takes her aside.

‘HARMONY I sent them to the wrong room, I didn't know what else to do —-

; Harry smiles. Clears his throat, takes a Geer breath --— -CUT TO: EXT. ‘SANTA MONICA BLVD. - NIGHT ‘PERRY'S Jaguar zips along as we. HEAR:

. 7 HARRY (V.O.) I sent her home, believing a) we'd meet tomorrow to go over her case; and b) I. ‘wasn't actually gay. Do not ask me how I did this. Then Perry says we gotta move > the body again. Four a.m., it's in the trunk, we're cruising down Santa Monica, past the cool-looking police station with | the palm trees. and -- aw, shit. (beat)

Listen to what I'm doing, i'm saying it, Meanwhile it's on the screen, I hate it when the narrator does that... "I entered the. building and proceeded to Bob's » office," you're like, I KNOW, asshole,

I! m watching the fucking movie. Sorry.

Harry says:

Harmony's convinced that-- ' GAY PERRY Fuck Harmony. Little Sis punched her own ticket. Period. Here, this looks good, up ahead. Time to lose the luggage. He rolls. to a stop under a big shadowy TREE. CUT. TO: A MEATY-—SOUNDING THUD--!

- As the BUNDLED CORPSE hits the lawn of a Beverly Hills home. HARRY bends over it, facea misery mask:

Through the window we see HARRY asleep. The NEON LIGHTS outside his window EPULEeEaee Come to LIFE.

CLOSE: ON HARRY -- his eyes pop open. CUT To: |

“The elevator disgorges Harry, unshaven, bleary-eyed. He passes a PLUMP WOMAN with a collection bucket.

It! s more of a miracle that I arose.

‘INT. HOTEL BAR - SAME

HARRY and HARMONY, nested at a window table. Harry' s trying to look official with a notepad and pen.

eiceale her coffee. Speaks quietly, intently.

_ HARRY You sound pretty sure.

HARMONY _ I read her suicide note. Even with a gun to her head, she mentions "Daddy".

Harry nods. Glances a at his own extensive ‘notes:

Bis Rage Lge WoLYWooP

_ HARRY. Got it. I'm on the case.

(scribbles ona napkin) And here’s my card. |

He presents it with a flourish: THE AMAZING HAROLD.

.. It’s a magic card, by the way. Be careful. _ HARMONY Oh, Wow. Any training required? Nope. Just say abra-cadabra. oe HARMONY What happened, did someone sue you? HARRY Excuse me?_ HARMONY

It used to be “Alakazam.” When you cut me in half. And not-to be picky, but you “were Harold the Great.

There eyes meet. He cieugel smiles.

I used to be great, now wT m amazing. Live with it.

"His CEL rings, he answers:

HARRY ; Hi, there was nothing in the papers. I'm Busy right now with Harmony's case.

-Click-! Hangs up. Harry jumps up, heads. to the BAR ~- TV bolted to the wall. On screen, a striking NEWSWOMAN:

_ . NEWS WOMAN (ON TV) (cont'd) for she was almost certainly killed and © then moved, police sources say. Veronica

- Dexter's abductors remain at large.

(beat)

Harlan Dexter, 53 year-old actor-turned- | entrepreneur, runs the prestigious Dexter Clinic downtown, along with a series of rehab centers. His wife died last spring, prompting Veronica's return to the U.S. -- and a father-daughter reconciliation, following years of estrangement. . Veronica Dexter; 25 years old yesterday. More later. Paul?

ANCHOR (ON TV)

Thanks, Mina. Sad. Brought together... — - only to lose each other again. Very much.

like the cast of "Giant Steps"; coming

up, a report on the hot new show that --

‘On Harry's speechless yeaction we cut. to:

Brisk, windy. They walk side by side. Harry takes out . gum, offers a piece to Perry. ,

. HARRY

Ronnie Dexter? Are they, like, triple- sure..-? 'Cause she sorta looked like Mr. ._Potato-Head to me.

]

GAY PERRY

I.D. was positive. Scars, dental records. HARRY _

Talk to your. police guy? \. -GAY PERRY i Yeah. Not much there. Lab test came. back, no sign of rape. , (frowns)

Boils down to this: at 4:30 yesterday afternoon, Ronnie Dexter left home to meet some dude at the airport, old boyfriend. Off she went ---

_ HARRY Police ever find the. car?

Harry looks pale. Perry fixes him with a steady gaze:

“Listen to what I'm saying.

_ HARRY I know it's a longshot --

So I'm not Brando, you think I don't know that? If there’ gs even a chance --

It bursts out of him. Harry stops, mid-sentence.

«59,

. GAY PERRY -

‘ Nick Cage wants too much money. Get it now? Dabney, he unearths a "discovery." New kid, works for cheap. He flies you out, high profile. The parties, | detective lessons, ALL of it.

(beat). He's using you to shave a million dollars - off Cage's price. -

And there it is. Out on the table.

_ GAY PERRY | Sorry, chief, but there it is. I'm done lying to you. So. That’s it. If you're gonna, take a swing “ak me, do it no--_

~The PUNCH snaps his head around. He SWEARS, as Harry ‘launches another left -- ducks this one easily. Spins Harry, SLAMS him against. a mailbox. . Twists cruelly.

‘HARRY > You son of a bi--—aaaGGHHH.

Perry lets go. Steps back, still wary. Harry, gasping.

Another shock. Harry, overwhelmed.

GAY PERRY | Protecting my employer, yes, (off Harry's look). DABNEY. My employer? He pays me to insulate him from. corpses.

Harry absorbs this like a physical blow.

GAY PERRY | I'm not a nice man, Harry. (beat) Go home. Before something bad happens.

Perry turns. Heads for his car.

Pause. Perry blinks, confused --

| | GAY PERRY No. NO, you idiot. I'm saying the BADGUYS might try to harm you. .

Oh. Oh, okay. Right.

Perry gets in his car. Keys the ignition.

GAY ‘PERRY Merry Christmas. Sorry about fucking you HARRY

No problem. Merry Christmas. Don't quit your gay job.

‘The car rounds a corner. Disappears from sight.

Harry sighs. Runs a hand through his hair. Headache. Temples, throbbing. Grabs his cell, punches buttons. |

~Ring..! Click-!

He hangs up. Inhabits the engthenine twilight. Nowhere to go. Spits. Scans the IVY alongside the hotel...—

FLASH: He and Perry, tossing the .38 over the fence --

Harry makes a decision. CUT TO: | | |

- INT. RAMON' Ss "HOLLYWOOD LIQUOR - NIGHT

Harry appears at the door y. trailed by a homeless man —-~

. “HOMELESS MAN Buddy, got a cigarette..?

The man grips his arm -- Harry shrugs him off, hard.

. HOMELESS MAN Rat bastard, son of a bitch ~-

Harry keeps moving. Into the store. Empty. Reaches up ‘to his KNIT CAP, the one he had in Big Bear --

Pulls it down into a SKI MASE.

Moves to the register; no .one there either. He palms the '..38 revolver. Rings a tiny BELL.

. VOICE IN BACK (0. Sis: Just a minute! _ Bagh. out!

Harry waite, impatiently. Drumming his fingers. Ski

_mask, itching. -He leans over the counter, reaches... — Awkwardly swats at he uegustes button.

‘Harry ducks beneath the counter. Pops up behind the register.. Punches buttons. Nothing. EDS -- noEnEAg:

“Last try -- Bingo. The drawer slides open. - Reveals - maybe $200 in worn bills. 20 in “change. He stares....

, oo "VOICE ‘IN BACK (0. Ss. "). Be right there!

Presses a hand to his head. Shoulders start to slump...

He shuts the drawer. Cash untouched. Tugs off. his mask. Eyes dull, glazed. Ducks beneath the counter again.

A HISPANIC MAN appears -- Sees Harry standing politely.

. Can I help you? |

_ - . AHIARRY | “we Marlboro Reds, box.

‘EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD - NIGHT |

_ Harry exits. Sees the angry BUM. Tosses him the smokes. -

. HARRY Choke on ‘em. , Crosses the street. Doesn't look back.

The main concourse. An amplified VOICE intones: 7 VOICE (0.S.) At this time, we'd like to begin pre- boarding for flight 12, service from Los | Angeles to New York, at Gate 42.. HARRY appears. Takes out his ticket. Resigned, tired... MEMORY FLASH: HIGH SCHOOL STADIUM - NIGHT _ CIRCA 1987

A deserted. field, behind the high school. Feregrounds YOUNG HARRY, 18 -- facing 16 year-old HARMONY .

HARMONY | : Gotta catch my bus. If I don't go now, I never will. I'm gonna miss you...

She hugs him. He gazes past her at the stadium CLOCK: now or never. Presses his mouth to hers-- she recoils.

; HARMONY No... Harry, you mean so much to me. It... It's different with you. If we do it, it'll be magic. Worth waiting for..

BACK TO PRESENT DAY -- Harry steps aside for a young child. Mutters politely, examines his ticket -- STOPS.

Looks. up, ‘frowning. Is it..? Nah. Couldn't be, yet aaa IT IS, IT'S FLICKA. |

Walking the concours. Pulling her stewardess cart. WITH FLICKA | | | -

“She glances up, sees HARRY. hustling toward her. Won't even look at him. ‘Eyes front, says:

- . HARRY ‘I know that. Maybe... maybe I don’ t want to talk to her. Ever think of that? Maybe it's you I'm interested in. a, FLICKA Is that true? ~ HARRY

Well, no. Listen, she has a eee phone, right? She must.

Forget it. This is between you two --

_ HARRY , HERE. Look, a ticket, see? “Baby, I'm going. I just want to say something, anything to her... I... I'm begging you.

Pause.... She heaves a sigh:

FLICKA | I'm gonna regret nae

‘Unzips a poucl in her carry-on. Pulls out a telephone- slash-address book, flips through pi oh

‘HARRY. What? What's funny?

a FLICKA

Nothing, 1 EOEGSE it’ s listed under jher

stage name. HARRY

No kidding?. What's her stage name. .?-

He stops. dead. Mid-sentence.

. HARRY Say that name again? FLICKA Ames... A-M-E-- HARRY

Allison Ames, that's... ‘that! s Harmony’ s stage name??

. FLICKA ; How should I know? Christ!

HARRY is gunning it,. fifty-plus. Phone to his ear:

GAY PERRY: (0O.S. ) You ‘have reached the offices of Sentron, . Inc. Please leave a message.

‘HARRY

Newsflash, Perry. Your client, Ames, it _ was the little sister, repeat, the little

sister. That's where Harmony's two grand

went, it's in your bank, you overpriced

bastard, HER KID SISTER HIRED YOU. Your

case and my case, man, now hear this,

it's the same fucking case!

, EXT. HEBMONZ s GUEST. HOUSE - NIGHT

Harry leaps from the car. Runs to the guest house. aia ia on the door. Pause. Pounds again.»

"HARRY | Harmony, it's me. Something's “happened, it's about your sister.

(pounds) I HAVE TO TALK TO. YOU.

What happens then happens quickly: Harmony FLINGS open the door. Harry extends his hand:_

_. HARMONY GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!

She rears back like Nolan Ryan, SLAMS the door--!

Cuts off his finger. Harry grunts. The color drains from his face. Pause... She throws open the door again.

She stops. Sees him hunched, blood squirting. CUT TO: A DOCTOR SEWING HIS FINGER BACK ON |

ECU of half a forefinger, as a needle draws stitches. To one side, a coffee mug -- red-tinged ice cubes, we’re.

_INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - NIGHT

’' HARRY, on local anesthesia; inventing. swear words," M.O. Ss -- Over this, bleeding into the next scene, we HEAR: °

| Harry slouches, hand bandaged. Phone to his ear.

A pause. Harry mulls it over for a second, blurts: I CAN” T BELIEVE You: CUT OFF MY FINGER. -

“HARMONY (0.S.) Oh, Harry, I' MSO SOrry... How is it?

_ HARMONY (0.S.)} Yeah. Party up on Sunset Plaza. Listen, remember you said the killer may have

“been at Dexter's party? Well, that whole bunch is here tonight. .

| _ HARRY | a Put me on the list.. I'll be. right: over.

_ HARMONY (0.S.) Are you still doped up? ©

a HARRY | _ Put me on the list. I'll drop by. Maybe I can stir-the kettle a bit, you know?

Stick out a hat, see who shoots at it.

"HARMONY (O.S.)

. Maybe you should put the hat in the kettle. Then if they shoot it‘1l.. ricochet. Harry, you sound trashed.

The TAXI deposits HARRY in front of a Gothic monstrosity. THROB of music from within. . Voices, laughter.

- HARRY (V.O.) | _ A young girl from Indiana comes to L.A. -- Can't. hack it, cancels her subscription

to Life. Voila -- reality. Case closed. —

‘Along the wall, at intervals, WINDOW DISPLAYS.

Tastefully naked men, women. Painted. IGNORING the ' outside world. Not allowed to react to it.

HARRY (V.0.)

Or was it..? Murder; suicide; either way, the girl was dead -- but now it mattered to me, I had to know.

HARRY joins the milling crowd. Wanders outside into the

BACK YARD

A crush of bodies. Dancing, drinking, occasionally . falling. VIEW overlooking L.A., a panoply of lights.

HARMONY, IN A SKIMPY SANTA GETUP

Emerges from the house. Spots HARRY, waves. Elbows her way forward ~~ Fetches up next to him, clutching a bag. ©

Passes him the bag. He removes a TAPE, scans the label:

had a copy; one apiece. All rented. .

dud from 1960, and on a given night FOUR | people take the only available copies?.

HARRY » (sighs) Okay, listen, let's not go crazy. with the conspiracy stuff.

He breaks off as PRETTY GIRL steps up, indicates HARRY:

She strides away smugly. Harry, ready to snap. Looks at - Harmony like everything’ s her fault.

I guarantee you there's something rotten in Denver --

_ HARMONY

‘Denmark... . -

ao, - HARRY » Oo There too. Abandonment. Abuse. THen -they all come out HERE, it's like someone lifted America by the east coast and shook it,. and the normal. chicks managed to hang on.

- He stops, realizing it's grown very quiet around them. | Every woman within ten yards is staring at him.

‘HARMONY — Okay, everyone who hates Harry here, raise their hand.

Half a dozen shoot skyward: A VOICE rings out:

; VOICE See that? © Obedient little bitches, too.

GAY PERRY knows an entrance line when he sees one.

He joins the party. Ducks a. flung drink, keeps walking as it hits an old lady. Falls in beside Harry & Harmony:

_ GAY PERRY Okay, you got thirty of my fucking seconds. Thrill me.

Harmony waves all of them inside, shuts the door. Moving quickly now. Turns on one.of those combo TV/VCR units that run $150. Hands Harry a sheet of paper -- . HARMONY ' Cast list. oo (turns) Perry, catch.

She tosses him a VISA card. Issued to Allison Ames.

GAY PERRY mo So, who's in this cinematic milestone, anyhow? | | HARRY

Michael... ‘Beck? Whoever that is.

Harry jerks a thumb, mouths the word "gay." ‘She nods. Adjusts the TV unit, hits PLAY. Clears her throat:

Now. Perry, indulge me, I know this is, like, a longshot --

Perry isn't even listening, points RIGHT AT THE SCREEN:

' GAY PERRY That's Harlan Dexter. HARMONY So don't jump: all over us, you never know when someth-- beg PeEdene

- GAY PERRY: There. That’ s fucking Harlan Dexter, he's 25 years younger, look. —

_ She stops, mid-oratory. Blinks. Turns, and sure enough: “There's DEXTER, 27, punching Michael Beck in the ue ,

Harry, Gay Perry, Harmony. All staring, slack-jawed: Harmony hits PAUSE. Harry snatches up the cast list --

ECU LIST: Midway down... DEPUTY -- Dexter Holcomb

| HARRY . Shit. This... this makes sense. He had the Gossamer books at his house. oe

“Harmony sits bolt: upright:

(eyes widening) ce i. ‘Harry, the other night -- you | Penenber, I said our host, he looked familiar?

She takes an involuntary step back, like she saw a ghost. 7 HARMONY ee Oh, God. I remember him, now. 1979, he was there, I SAW him --

(points to the screen) I saw ham like that. Young.

~ HARMONY -At our house. In Indiana. He came with the movie people. I think... I think he was the one who started Mom on those books, God, is that true..?

‘She looks, from one to the other, shell-shocked. An uncomfortable pause. Harry and Perry exchange glances.

‘HARRY. And your Sister has to have seen this, so what it comes down to... (frowns) , (MORE)

HARRY (cont! d)

. You tell your sister a fairy tale about her real faLhSr es

‘ GAY PERRY That brings her out here 20 years later, hunting Harlan Dexter. .

Harmony, now, looking even MORE haunted...

- INT. PARTY ~- ENTRY HALL - NIGHT

GAY PERRY is shrugging into his coat. | | GAY PERRY I'm going to Silverlake. I havea surveillance. Do NOT play detective. Understand? Two women are dead, this is not a book, this is not FUN.

' The only thing that moves is her middle finger. Unfurls, pointing at Harry. The eyes remain blank.

HARRY wanders, zoned-out. Tired. Party, surging nearby.

He's on the outskirts... Sips a stiff drink, it's been a looooong day... Bumps someone, starts to apologize --

No need. The guy KEEPS bumping him. Crowding him, as ANOTHER MAN materializes, falls in alongside, what--?

The bastards have him flanked. Cosby/Culp duo. One's black, the other white. Tall. Leather jackets.

Harry feels a GUN in his ribs:

LEATHER JACKET #1. Keep walking.»

- HARRY - (groans, shakes his head)) Perfect... Just perfect... ~

_ They lead him around the side of the house. To a pocket 'of deep shadow... PARTY noise.muted, distant.

\LEATHER #1

Well, now. Here we all are, Ike, Mike and Mustard.

Even through his ,Puxgeon!ng terror, Harry's confused: |

HARRY : --. What the hell’ 8 that mean. .?

Leather #2 looks up, frowning: _ LEATHER #2

I gotta go with him on this one, man, that's pretty fucking obscure.

LEATHER - #1 ‘Horseshit. L hear it all the time. LEATHER #2 ' You do. - ee LEATHER #1 ‘Yeah, sure. ; , LEATHER #2

7 Where, at the 1942 Club meeting?

| LEATHER #1

Hey, just ‘cause you didn't get in-- . 1

Harry tries to act indignant: - . ,

: HARRY . This is bullshit. Who the f£--aaaGGH..!

Leather #2 strikes him with.a lead SAP. Harry half-. ~ whistles, half screams. Leather #1 leans in:

‘LEATHER #1 Friend, what you are in here is what we - like to call a JAM. Boy, do we like to call it that. a

oo LEATHER #2 . You said it. I could call this a jam all night. LEATHER #1

You wanna know who we are? Real simple. Me? I'm the frying pan, see, and my buddy over here, he's --

LEATHER #2 Mustard. I'm Mustard.

LEATHER #1 -- He’ s the FIRE, fuck you, Mr. Mustard. NOW. Me and my man, we're puzzled by your behavior lately. Such as --

LEATHER #2 Such as, why is a saavy stand-up cat like yourself consorting with gay men, frolicking in a lake together?

The guy grabs Harry's bandaged hand --

. LEATHER JACKET Pal. You don't ask the questions.

Twists, WRENCHES -—-

The bandage is now STAINING itself a deep red. Somewhere under acne detached aigtt.

LEATHER #1 Now, I bet there are doctors in New york, clear that shit right up.

“Leather #2 drives a FIST into Harry’ s kidney.

“LEATHER #2 L.A. don’t want you, tough guy.

. LEATHER #1 . Go home, sport. Don't. make your daughter an orphan. ,

Harry collapses, clutching himself. Retching. Watches — . their svelte tan loafers, walking away... CUT TO:

HARMONY, zipping along in her SUV. HARRY in the backseat. Lying prone, cradling his hand.

_ HARMONY — Five minutes © away, hang in there. Harry..? Hello..? You with me?

; | HARRY I'm here. ,

: HARMONY Talk to me. Our mascot, back in school -- what the hell was it? You remember?

' HARRY Whitey. (grimaces) “|. a The white knight. 'Spose it's. better than. calling him "Knighty," then he'd be "Knighty~Knight, " pretty soon the . -Mascot'’s named "Ta-Ta,”" or "Toodles," and then you're really -- , *

; Harmony interrupts with a startled yelp.

HARMONY: - Harry! That's them. 12 o'clock, look! You said a black guy and a white guy?

A BLUE IMPALA ~- directly ahead. Two forms, clearly visible inside. Big. Z 7

Yeah, yeah, that's them. Get the plate, call the Cops. -

_ HARMONY

I will, I will. Lemme find a pen. -- HARRY

Whatever, watch the road. Hello..?

(beat) What are we doing? Are we slowing down?

| HARMONY =. I was leaning over to get a pen.

' HARMONY It's just, they're on the way, is all.

HARMONY | You just told me to get the plates}. (shakes her head) — | ‘Sheesh, beat him up, he gene grouchy.

THE IMPALA makes a sharp turn. Onto a cross street. ‘HARRY Straight. We go straight.

As she blows through the intersection, she sees the sign:. Silverlake Blvd. Frowns. Takes a second to register...

Perry’ Ss stakeout, he said Silverlake, didn't he?

, - HARRY What's that got to do with anyth--

| HARMONY 7 3 Oh, my God. It's a setup. The stakeout,

they set him up, they're going after Perry!

Maybe. It's a STREET. They could go left,. right, maybe they’ re going to the damn movies --

: . HARRY But --

"HARMONY | ‘I'll be incredibly fast, I promise; "Hey, Perry, look out," boom, back in the car. Cool? Cool. .

‘She throws the car into a SMOKING U as we CUT TO:

Harmony cruises the boulevard, eyes roving. Up ahead, the entrance to a wooded PARK. :

ee HARMONY Ha! Bingo.

The BLUE IMPALA. Parked at the curb. Empty. . Harmony .lurches to a stop. Tadets) abound, says:

' HARMONY. They're on foot. If I leave the Keys, can you drive yourself?

_ HARRY (sighs tiredly) Yes. Yes, I can. Go.

Harmony nods. Takes. the .38 revolver from Harry' s jacket. Stares at it with silent awe. Swallows hard.

Harmony heads into the park.

An afterthought, she loses the Santa hat. Sadly, there's still the costume: not so much deadly as adorable.

In the backseat, he sits up. Fully intends to transfer to the front. Reaches for the door handle.

Scenery, spinning... Deep breath. Tries again... topples to the FLOORBOARDS , unconscious as

_MR. FRYING PAN crosses from a gas station, sipping ‘coffee. Reaches the parked Impala, phone to his ear:

MR. PAN’ Uh-huh... Anybody around him..?. ‘Terrific... On my way. Got. you a danish.

He clicks off. Gets in the car. Reaches ina pocket -- Extracts a Sig Sauer AUTOMATIC, and meanwhile

HARMONY, crouched low. ..38 held loosely at her side. How BIST; inches off the ground. The lamps have HALOS.

She moves forward at a dead run. In and out through the - trees. Eyes moving -- That's when she first notices THE GIRL.

25, give or take. “Torn jeans. PINK HAIR. Punk-ish. Harmony ducks behind a tree. Watches the girl stroll out of the park. ; a ~~

Now Harmony sprints uphill to a BRICK WALL.

The one that borders the park. Roughly five feet high. .Finds she can stay to this side of it and still see the STREET, where Pink-Haired Girl walks.

Still a block downrange. Harmony looks back at the park. Reacts, startled: DS

Now there's a strange MAN in the park.

Strolling south, eating peanuts. She fidgets. Peers over the wall again -- :

THERE HE IS, THERE'S. PERRY

Coming out of a LIQUOR STORE two blocks down. Harmony heaves a HUGE sigh of relief... .

- PERRY, meanwhile, sucks on a beer,

aAmbles along, shadowing PINK- HAIRED GIRL; his aforementioned surveillance job. No idea Harmony's near--

Except she's not so near, not anymore. She's 75 yards away. She creeps along the wall. Keeping him in sight.

ANOTHER ANGLE - HEADLIGHTS

A car, nearing the park... She thinks nothing of it. Glances up as it goes by, then promptly turns to STONE --

THE BLUE IMPALA is back in the picture.

Gliding like an Angel of Death. She watches, terrified, as it moves down the block. Closing on Perry.

Harmony starts to run.

He doesn't hear her, or doesn't acknowledge. She hits pace. Legs scissoring. It's a solid pace...

She doubles it. Arms pumping. Legs pistoning. FASTER now, faster than before. Lets TSOES FLYING... The man with the peanuts TRIPS her.

She never saw him coming. All of a sudden she's

‘sailing... Hits, wham-—! Slides on wet leaves, and now --

MR. FIRE (aka Peanut Man) is ON HER, clamping a hand to

- her mouth. ‘Bearing her to the ground, got her by the

THROAT --

She HEAD-BUTTS him. Everything she's got. He rears backward, HOWLING. Nose flattened. a -

That's done it. Harmony breaks loose. DIVES, rolls --

Comes up sprinting. Goes airborne..! Leaps atop a trash can. From there to the WALL. Straddles it, up and over--

. . HARMONY _ PERRY, LOOK OUT--!

She tumbles off the wall, flailing. . THE GUN goes flying.

Strikes the pavement, GOES OFF, Bang--!

A picture window EXPLODES. Collapses.

THAT gets Perry's attention. Two blocks away, he SPINS --

| SEES HEADLIGHTS -- Sudden and HUGE. — | 135,

What -happens next happens quickly.

PERRY DIVES. Onto a parked car. Rolls across the hood,

nick of time as the Impala SIDESWIPES the car, ‘WHAM- |

and somehow

A GUN MATERIALIZES in his hand, like a magieian's trick and WITHOUT A THOUGHT he sticks it out behind him and _. while rolling, plows two shots backward at the Tmpata --

. WINGS THE DRIVER

Guy takes it in the shoulder, car goes shrieking past and _

- PERRY, Now

Smacks the pavement, HARD. Rolls, comes up -—-

SEES THE IMPALA 7 . / 139

VEER, crazily. Out of control. FIRES after it, three more shots, starts to run.

Up. ahead it strikes the curb, doing fifty - --

Blows its tires. CATAPULTS onto the sidewalk. ‘Captures a fire hydrant -- Buries itself ina LIQUOR STORE.

Shelves ERUPT. Wood, BLASTED to splinters. Finally _ shudders to a halt, as

THE UNFLAPPABLE MR. FRYING. PAN tumbles out.

Hits, rolls -~ comes up moving. Drawing his pistol. Heads for the door, running full out --

Unfortunately running in full view of the store OWNER, who promptly blows the shit out of him. Pow! POW! POW!

Drops him. Guy dies more surprised than anything else. And it's over, just that quick, and consequently GAY PERRY simply reverses direction -- as the corpse topples

he's already loping back the way nS came.

‘Car alarms SINGING their song. A geyser of WATER | spouting thirty feet high, and meanwhile |

_ PINK-HAIRED GIRL, on the run. Terrified.

Gunfire, murder, this wasn't in. the libretto. She sees Harmony's SUV. Door open. Keys ‘dangling in plain sight.

Salvation. She jumps: in, keys the ignition, goes roaring off. Never bothers to check in back...

Where HARRY, unconscious, inhabits the floorboards.

PERRY shoves HARMONY over the brick wall. Follows a ' second behind, into the PARK. oo

| | GAY PERRY ‘It's okay. You did great, you did just fine.

SIRENS, now. Flashing LIGHTS, drawing near. They stagger off. The dark absorbs them. DISSOLVE TO...

HARMONY'S SUV

As HARRY comes slowly awake. Groans. Disoriented. sits up. Extricates himself from the floorboards. Peers out’ the window: finds himself in'a tidy one-car GARAGE.

TIME CUT: HARRY EXITS THE VEHICLE. .

He takes his bearings. Totters toward the side door. Past TRASH, brimming... He stops. Frowns. Backs up. .

Focuses on one barrel. Paper, coffee grounds... A BAG. “He pulls it free:. ALLEN'S VIDEO -- The Specialist.

Then another -- Rocket Video. Another. Another. | Four bags altogether. This is too creepy. He replaces them. .

A SOUND. Harry whirls --! The DOOR’s opening. He reacts, darts behind the suv --

Ms. PINK-HAIR emerges with a collie at her heels. Snags a LEASH from a-wall peg. Exits to the street. Gone.

' The house is his. THE STAIRS - WITH HARRY

Harry moves upward, silently. “Second floor. Peers into rooms... Christmas TUNES, on the cD player. Droning.

He finds them in the bedroom:

FOUR COPIES of Jonny Gossamer. On the nightstand. 20th © Century Fox, 1979. Well, I'll be damned, he thinks -- Then FREEZES. Swears under his breath.

THE FRONT DOOR is opening again downstairs. No way. a Less than two MINUTES? Whatever the case, she's back --

And SOMEONE ELSE is back. Harry hears a male VOICE: MALE VOICE (0.S.) |

First things first, you gotta get rid of ‘that car. Ditch it.

82,

Harry pokes his head into the hall -- Ducks back, fast. They‘re on the stairs. Her head appears, she’s saying:

; PINK HAIR. I'm sorry, I know you said there'd be... consequences, but... I.. I saw that man shot to death. I was 80 scared.

Coming to the bedroom. No time, no time to think -- He drops flat. Scrambles beneath the bed. Peers out:

Sees a set of pressed male SLACKS appear. Then JEANS, sneakers; the girl. She sits on the bed, Harry feels it.

SO "PINK HAIR: Thanks, thank you so much. It's nothing against your. boss, I... I'm grateful...

. MALE VOICE I understand. Believe me. I spoke with him, and you won't have to do anything like this ever again. Swear.

_ PINK HAIR You mean it? ~ .

_ MALE VOICE | Yup.

A phhhtttt-! of sound. Another. An inch away, Harry sees the carpet leap up--{ BOTH SHOTS penetxate . the bed.

It's all HARRY can do to keep from screaming. , He ‘PEELS her topple. She flops to the mattress. Rolls off the

bed. Strikes the floor. He recoils -- > ‘me

She's RIGHT THERE, inches away on the carpet.

Back arched epastically. Mouth open.

, “And even as he registers the bloody wounds, the fact that she's not gonna make it, her HEAD lollis to one ‘Bide, eyes wide in shock --

SHE SEES HARRY. All of a iendden, sees a strange man under her bed. Maybe five seconds left to her. Says:

; PINK HAIR

Her eyes, inches from his. The two of them, close as lovers... And Harry panics. Reacts instinctively.

-Jams a finger to her lips. CUTS HER OFF.

Withdraws it. Presses it to his own lips. Eyes pleading with her, please, oh, please be quiet...

Her mouth works soundlessly. The light. behind her eyes, - dimming. She looks to him, afraid, IMPLORING -- |

He wills her SILENT, that's right, honey, just for the next few seconds, good girl...

Seconds are all she has. She passes them in pain -- And then, obediently silent, she dies.

The lights go out. Her breath escapes. Harry having denied her a single word. This will haunt him for as

long. as he chooses to live.

He shifts his attention: watches the tailored slacks exit the room. ._ Hears something plunk on the dresser top.

HARRY peeks his head out. Looks to.the dresser -- There.

'. Sitting all by its lonesome: A silenced AUTOMATIC.

The son of a bitch left his gun..

Harry breaks cover. Climbs to his feet. -Crosses to the dresser. An automaton. Calmly claims the gun.

Checks the safety. Flicks it off. Turns, hearing FOOTSTEPS approach. Grits his teeth. Bides his time --

MR. FIRE DOESN'T SEE HIM at first. Appears in. the doorway, putting on gloves. Blanket, over his shoulder.

Then he. does see Harry. Guy's a pro, gotta give it to him. A flicker of reaction; that's all. a MR. FIRE. . Hey. You still around, tough guy? Got a gun, I see. Damn. You are tough.

Harry DOUBLE TAPS, ba-bam--} Puts two in his gut.

84,

FIRE regards him in stunned disbelief. Looks down. Sees red. Harry pauses, adjusting his aim -- ae

Then he. just keeps” pulling the trigger, burning. new

holes. SHOT AFTER SHOT. The guy jitters, perforated --

‘Flops against the stair rail. Overbalances. Legs,

yanked up and over -- Plummets. Slams a glass coffee table, explodes it. Bounces once. Hits, dead.

HARRY, THE EXECUTIONER

Watches SMOKE rise from the gun barrel. A song begins: "I Saw Three Ships. ." ,

He knéels beside the’ dead girl. Grimaces as he wipes the gun and places it in her hand.

| _ HARRY » I'm sorry.

TIME CUT: DOWNSTAIRS - MOMENTS LATER

FIRE's GLOVE, fallen. Harry bends -- Picks it up. Shrugs it onto his good hand.-

- Staggers into the kitchen. In shock.

DOG barking. Out in the garage. Without thinking, he opens the door, admits the beast. It wiggles with joy.

. Harry checks the cupboard. DOG STUFF. Leash, bowl... Medicine, yeah. Takes ointment. Hydrogen Peroxide.

Here's the gross part, -UNWRAPS the injured hand... Reaches into the mess. Plucks: tree his precious | FINGER.

Sets it on the table. Croeses to the sink, extends his

~~ hand -- DOUSES it with peroxide. He nearly SCREAMS.

BEHIND HIM -- we see the DOG, paws on the table...

Steals the FINGER. Prances off, tail wagging. Harry

moves to the table. Stops. What the hell..?

‘Looks underneath. Looks to the side. Hears an excited little whuff--! from the corner --

HAPPY DOG dangles the finger. Waggles his head, come get me. Harry’ s in no mood. He makes a grab for the dog -- -

The animal DODGES. Vanishes around a corner. Pause...

Sticks his head out, peeks back at Harry. Another little whuff-—! This is EuCKAnS insane -- . : ;

| HARRY'S PHONE RINGS. He jumps. Stabs the talk button =-

Yeah, what?

I'm... I'm with the kidnappers, one of _. them, anyhow, he's... he's dead, I shot him, Harmony's car is parked here --

GAY PERRY (0.S.)

Jesus. Harry, wipe the. place clean and get out of there!.

Hey, man, I... I can't. I WANT to.

_ GAY PERRY (0.S.)

_ So DO IT. HARRY

- My... my fingerprint’ s here, man, the dog's got it.

HARRY , , No, asshole, he's got the finger, the whole thing, with the... the print part, I think he thinks it's a game. GAY PERRY (0.S.) 7 Get. the finger. Kill the dog. Get out

of there. HARRY Hang... hang on, I think -- ‘As he watches, the dog raises its muzzle -- CHOPS; once... Throat convulses. An audible gulp--! HARRY I, uh... I think we're safe. Hey, Perry..? (pause) —

(MORE) |

HARRY (cont'd)

. Perry, I... I shot a guy. I never done that.

He hits the button. Hangs up. Starts to cry. DISSOLVE:

A TV NEWSWOMAN, doing a remote from outside the same house:

. NEWSWOMAN

--. Have been linked, through items found within this Silverlake home, to the kidnap-murder of socialite Veronica Dexter. Police theorize a possible | falling-out between the kidnappers, resulting in at least two deaths and possibly a third tonight, as...

She goes on, we PULL BACK from the TV screen...

A patched-up HARRY sits with HARMONY & GAY PERRY.

. GAY PERRY So. This evening, was it "Jonny Gossamer" enough for you?

; HARRY

Tell you the truth? Jonny Gossamer always has a WAY bigger ending. Harmony, you know; there’s a part where he gets tortured --

HARMONY and PERRY exchange an awkward look:

GAY PERRY | Harry, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have.... questions. (off Harry’s look:) Harmony's sister -- if she stumbled on a murder plot, why hire ME to go film it? _ Why not simply call the police?

HARMONY speaks up: oo / HARMONY . And I still think the daughter business is wanky. Last summer she says Daddy

siphoned off Mom's estate. Sues Daddy. Flies to L.A. to put Daddy } behind bars.

. GAY PERRY.

Reconciliation, idiot. Yeah... Everything changes, ‘boom. She withdraws the suit, moves in, suddenly they're inseparable.

ae GAY PERRY » Absolutely not. Isn't that right t?

He casts a pointed look at HARMONY -- she scowls. AL TEENBCEE across the room pipes up:

Perry looks around, startled.

TEENAGER : You just said you saw that Dexter chick | gettin’ killed. Someone paid you to film it..

GAY PERRY | - No, no, we were Just talking. TEENAGER

Oh, 'cause I heard you Bay it just a second ago. ,

. Perry shakes his head. Gather his coat, starts to rise --

- ga.

‘Yeah. Well, it worked. HARMONY No one else thinks so. HARRY I don't count? HARMONY

you' re new here. Look around, there's younger and better.

’ HARRY I don't want younger and better, I want you. = _ (£1inches) oe Um, that didn’ t come out right --

She turns, slings her bag over her shoulder. Harry looks up at the winter moon. A pause... then:

That's what I do for a living. I steal audio-visual components.

He regards her with an odd, thoughtful expression.

"HARRY I've never finished a Goddamn thing I. started, ever. School, marriage... can’ t even take off a lousy Liquor store,: halfway through, boom’ -- I-cut and run...

, HARMONY Like the other night, you’re all over me, then you give up --

This isn’t finished.

' They stand, breath pluming in front. of them. “she sighs:

‘They stumble in, tipsy. He sets his drink down. In the dark, watches Harmony shed’her top. Step out of her skirt. :G .

HARMONY, her toned, contoured form... Then a quick FLASH: DEAD GIRL, wet dress, molded to her. BACK TO NOW: Harry blinks.

HARMONY has dispensed with underwear. Slides into bed. . : HARMONY | Yeah, thanks... I mean, you could sleep here, but... it would just be sleeping, if that's gonna frustrate you ~- He finishes his drink. ‘Shrugs. Slides in beside her.

He. pulls her close. Begins to stroke her hair. She sighs deeply -- lays her head back on his chest.

oo, . HARMONY So long ago.. Since I.took that midnight bus. Things didn't really... turn out how we hoped. Did eye

She meets his eye.

. HARMONY Is that so, Whitey..?

Her voice soft, slurred... He rolls his head toward her.

You calling me a knight..?.

She giggles. Closes her eyes. They lie there. outside, rain falls. Neon flashes. Pause -- Harry sits up.

Fuck it. I'm not a knight. I'm going nuts here.

‘He switches on the lamp.

- . HARMONY | Harry?. I'm sorry. If I'm teasing, if... if you're... I mean, I'can do... well, — SOMETHING, if you're all uncomfo-—

He stands. Dry-washes his face with his hands. ‘HARRY I don't want you to offer it as... as, like, a COURTESY, I --

She stops him mid-sentence. Slips out of bed -- Materializes before him. Presses a finger to his lips...

Finger, the opening act for her mouth. They kiss. A coin-tosa who's more frightened. They pull back...

Oh, Harry... Once we do this, you'll stop calling me.

- HARRY That's crazy. You're my dream girl, this... this is destiny. Pause. She regards him searchingly... node, sighs:

; HARMONY Okay, Harry. Tonight, I'1l believe that.

She rolls atop him. Eyes, luminous in the half-—dark...

They fall. Together? few years late, a buck or two short. SAME BED - BREAK OF DAY

‘Harmony, sprawled. Smiling. Spill of hair across a pillow. Harry beside her, looking suitably worn-out.

CLOSE ON HARRY: Seeming peaceful... His eyes are closed... Suddenly they OPEN. He frowns:

FLASH TO: FOOTBALL FIELD ~ 1987 ~ HARRY & HARMONY

Harmony, 16. Saying goodbye to HARRY. ‘The exact same FLASHBACK we viewed previously (page 64) --

_ HARMONY (AGE 17) Gotta catch my bus. If I don't go now, I never will. I'm gonna miss you...

‘But now, the camera ACCELERATES, sort of fast-forwards thru the goodbye... ZIPS past Harmony, veers UPWARD-~~!

WHAM--! Stops dead on the STADIUM CLOCK.

_ WITH HARRY, PRESENT DAY -- His eyes snap OPEN. He speaks: softly, as much to himself as to her. oS

oO "HARRY Uh, Harm..? Way back when, the night you left Indiana -- . You, uh... you sure you

took the midnight bus..? Not the 8:30?

By now, though, Harry is frowning furiously: --

HARRY | , She didn’t want me to give her a ride...

'PLASH TO: FOOTBALL FIELD — BACK WE GO AGAIN - 1987

YOUNG HARRY gets into his car, watches HARMONY's retreating form, moving off through the tall grass...

Here we go again, as CAMERA overtakes her..! : Zips past, makes an ARROW toward a house... lone MAILBOX out front; painted there, a name: CHUTNEY. CUT TO:

Harmony's PURSE comes flying out. Strikes her in the. chest as she stands outside the room, in tears. (sticks his head out) ' You said you were gonna quote-unquote

"wave goodbye to him. Chook, my best. friend, Jesus! ,

HARRY

“Watch your hand.

She withdraws her fingers -- He SLAMS THE DOOR as hand as

he can. CUT TO:

"HARMONY. does the Walk of Shame. Stumbles out in tears,

using her rolled-up socks and panties as Kleenex. A TAXI pulls to the curb. She gets in. CUT TO:

FOURTH FLOOR - HARRY AT. HIS WINDOW - LOOKING OUT

There she goes. Sorry, sport. He looks haggard.

HARMONY, brazenly weeping. Fishes in her bag for an actual Kleenex. Stuffs in the panties and socks --

Abruptly, she FREEZES. Breath suspended. Something goes click behind her eyes. CUT TO:

The phone RINGS, startling him. He snatches it, rasps: | _ HARRY ~e- Yeah...

HARMONY, barely intelligible -- clearly just sobbing:

. HARMONY | Moss S.) ‘Wah she waped..?

Harry falters,’ caught off guard - -- clears his throat: HARRY No. Um... M.E.'s report showed... no indication of... stuff. Rape.

Click..! He stares dumbly at the receiver. Huh?

Slowly sete down the phone. . Sighs. Looks at the. bed... Stops, squints. -- she’s left ‘something behind:

95,

It's the BOOK she lifted from Dexter. Must've fallen from. her bag. Harry bends down, scans the title -—-

Straighten Up and Die Right - A Jonny Gossamer Thriller

Cover: LIGHTNING flash. JONNY walks a rainswept city...

Harry tosses it aside. Flops full-length onto the BED -- CUT TO BLACK. Pause... then SUPER: DAY FOUR - THE SIMPLE | ART OF MURDER

Next. thing HARRY knows, WHOOMPH--! He's being SWATTED: in

the face, repeatedly. GAY PERRY hauls him out of bed -- | a | 23 a GAY PERRY HARMONY'S IN TROUBLE.

(beat) ‘Grab a fucking coat. and let’ S go.

_. FOUNTAIN AVENUE - DRIVING - WITH HARRY AND PERRY

PERRY, in a highly agitated state. Fishes out a pocket

recorder, hits Play. Holds it up:

. . - HARMONY (ON TAPE) Perry, me. Listen, this. Ronnie Dexter business stinks. -I’m gonna check something -- something Harry said. Call '_ me. If I'm right, you're gonna shit.

He clicks it off.

GAY PERRY : What did you say to her?

HARRY — Backaps I don’ t get what ' 8 happening - --

He draws a ragged breath. Pounds the steering wheel.

_ GAY PERRY - Before she left -- Did you talk about the case? Anything at all, think.

(CUT TO: OVERHEAD ANGLE ON CAR

Heading west on Fountain... Pause... Pause... SCREECH-~! It stops. U-turns. Goes hurtling back the other way.

HARRY (V.O.)

I tell him about destiny; ‘he's shaking his head. About seeing fireworks; he doesn’t care. I mention the underwear thing -- he has a fucking conniption.

(beat) And you? How about it, filmgoer? Have you solved. "The Case of the... the Dead People In L.A.?" ‘Times Square audiences, please don't shout at the screen. And stop. picking that, it' il just get worse.

Camera CRANES DOWN past ‘trees; past a sign: DEXTER .CLINIC: Rehabilitation Center. In through a WINDOW...

A FAT WOMAN sits fashioning a clay.Santa. She is insane. Smiles without warning. Makes odd darting movements. Behind her, someone CLEARS HIS THROAT. She turns --

’ Sees HARRY and PERRY standing just inside her door. HARRY Good evening, Ma'am. How are you?

HARRY oe Sorry to hear that. Say, listen... have you by any chance seen this . woman around?

Holds out a snapshot of HARMONY. She shakes her head, no.

She doesn't miss a beat. Steps out of her bottoms -- Stands brazenly nude, holding Santa.

_ HARRY 7 . ‘That... is one sorry ass... clay. Santa.

HALLWAY —- SAME They walk briskly, checking room to room. Harry whispers: |

Harry frowns:

HARRY — Yo. How could Ronnie Dexter be a patient while she's having birthday parties and dancing and shit?.

Perry turns, exasperated. GRABS Harry by the shoulders -- they: lock eyes:

HARRY speaks, then, so softly we can barely hear him: | ¢ 7 Oh, my God. It's two different ‘girls. He looks up at Perry, eyes haunted. _ HARRY He stashed his daughter in here... while a ringer took her place. Perry nods. Touches the tip of his nose.

FOOTSTEPS, approaching. Perry grabs Harry.

Yanks him inside a BATHROOM --

' 98,

THEY ARE SILENT as a whistling ORDERLY. passes by outside... | Harry shakes his head.

"HARRY : This is nuts. You, of all people --

Perry nods grimly. Leans against the sink.

. GAY PERRY All he needed was a girl who looked enough like her to appear in court and withdraw the complaint. (soft chuckle)

' No one's. gonna believe us.. They’ 11 say it's right out of a Jonny Gossamer book.

Of course it is. The guy.who. planned the crime READ ALL THE GODDAMN BOOKS. They're in his house. Plus he was-in that piece- of- shit movi--

He breaks off, mid-sentence.

Turns slowly, regards Perry from across the room.

Lo HARRY Hey, Ilan..? Listen, this girl, this... impostor, um, you ‘thinking what I'm thinking?

' Perry shrugs. Frowns.

-GAY PERRY I'm a desperate.man, in need of a replacement daughter... Same time, along comes a girl. Harmony’s sister, looking for "her Daddy.

HARRY mo, Fresh off the. bus. Blonde, petite--.

'They exit by the back door, furtive. Come waltzing up

loading ramp. Crossing the parking: lot. Toward the surrounding TREES --

VOICE (0.S8.) Good evening, gentlemen. =

. A VOICE, behind them. They spin, startled. ‘Caught: like deer in headlights.

AN ORDERLY in hospital whites.

Tall, muscular... Fully armed. Swell.

The man unholsters his REVOLVER. GUARD - Mr. van Shrike, hello. Aren't you chilly? Come back inside. GAY PERRY Actually? I'm from back east, I'm. kinda digging the cold --

ORDERLY | Or I can kill you here.

Perry sighs. Damn. It's never easy...

the

The guard marches. them back toward the building. The barrel |

of the pistol jammed in Perry's back.

. GAY. PERRY Like how, in movies, you stick a gun in some schmuck'’s back, you say, "keep walking,” and no sweat, you got a hostage.

GAY PERRY: Funny thing is, a real pro insists on five feet of separation, the reason being...

Perry transforms to an urgent BLUR. Spins, lashes out--! SWIPES THE GUN, pretty as you like.

DARKNESS - SHADOWY BRANCHES OVERHEAD

The GUARD falls ‘to his knees. Perry! s got his own pistol, Harry the revolver, and no one's in.a particularly good mood.

; GAY PERRY

Uh-oh. Pal, you don't: get it. This. ain't good cop, bad cop. This is Fag and New Yorker, you’ re in’ deep trouble.

(sullen silence) For Chrissake, what are you protecting? It's over. Finis. Dexter's going down.

He begins ticking off items on his fingers.

. ae “101. GAY PERRY (cont'd) . (beat). I know he switched daughters,

which, God help us, actually DID work, at least until last week —-

Harry chimes in:

_- Perry restrains himself:

GAY PERRY

Harry. You wanna put a sock in it? HARRY _

I'm just asking --

_GAY PERRY You don't ask questions, now it looks like I'm guessing, we don't know shit! a

— HARRY | ‘Right, right. Sorry.

— GAY PERRY ; And for the record, it was Ronnie's _ old boyfriend. Guy flying in from . .Paris, remember? (back to his prisoner). Am I za gRee

| He palms the gun, SLAMS it home. GUARD, nose shattered. Perry cocks the gun:

GAY PERRY oO Excuse me? How is that ambiguous?

- . HARRY I think he means that when you say,. "picture it inside your head;" — okay, is that, a bullet will BE inside your head, or is it, picture it- in your head, like, form an IMAGE, see what I'm saying?

: GAY PERRY Will you shut up?

GUARD | Look. I don't know about a girl. ‘Seriously. HARRY . Yeah, yeah. -- You know what, the hell with this guy. Step aside. Harry, galvanized, comes forward. Dumps all five slugs ‘from his revolver. Replaces a SINGLE BULLET in the cylinder -- Spins it. Steps past Perry. Kneels, says:

- BARRY» The girl. Harmony. WHERE IS SHE?

| GAY PERRY What the hell are you doing?

Harry winks at Perry. Levels the gun ~~

Pulls the trigger, CLICK--! Except it doesn’t go click.

Just like that. Bang-! He's wearing the guy. GUNSHOT, echoing on the breeze...

A frozen moment. PERRY, speechless. The corpse topples sideways, clunk.

Harry, eyes wide. ‘Shaking his head. No. Can't be. It NEVER goes off the first time...

HARRY , No, that... that wasn't supposed: to... I only put one, one bullet --

a. GAY PERRY You put a LIVE ROUND in that gun?

. HARRY Well, Maybe more...

Abruptly, Perry's cell phone BEEPS..! STARTLES them. "I Will Survive," touch-tone. He kills the ringer, hisses:

INTERCUT ~ GAY PERRY & HARMONY - on ane PHONE

_ HARMONY (0.S.) Just got in. I was out buying a phone. Are you okay? - You don’t sound good ~-

He clicks off. Turns. Sees HARRY sitting, ashen- faced -and trembling. Hugging his knees.

He grabs Harry’s arm, yanks him to his feet. Turns, storms - ‘uphi lt to ‘the parking jot.

GAY PERRY : I’1ll get the car.. You shot him, ‘you drag him.

Just below the lip of the hill, Harry drops the corpse. Calls up to Perry: -

He crests the hill -- Stops. Draws a sharp breath: HARLAN DEXTER himself is leaning against a car. HARRY -- um, down to... the racetrack, buy the son of a gun a drink, what -do you say? Um, Perry..? PERRY, TO HIS LEFT

Hands behind his head, while’ Dexter's bodyguard AURELIO | covers him with a short ~ barreled shotgun.

Harry shakes his head. Like a kid having a tantrum.

down.

Aurelio steps forward, clearly not thrilled. Starts to frisk -Perry. The detective pretends delirium. Moans. Grinds his hips. Aurelio YANKS free. Spits.

Perry's CEL PHONE chirps again. He looks a question at Dexter —- ;

ee ce DEXTER -

Toss it here. Let's see who it is. Aurelio fishes out Perry’s phone, tosses it -- Harry. moves without thinking. SNAGS it, hits the button, says:

HARRY

We! re in trouble, Dexter's got us--

oooff! A punch to the sternum, paralyzing -- Aurelio recovers the.

phone. Puts it to his ear, LISTENS... Smiles.

( | | a - AURELIO | He just asked a carpet cleaning | CO, service to save him.

Harmony, on her newly-bought cell phone -- | HARMONY 7 And, for an additional $39.99, we'll carpet up to three rooms

in... in HALF the time! That's a $40 value -~ Act today!

Listens... Nothing -- She's moving. BOLTS for the door.

AURELIO hums a holiday tune... Applies gel to ELECTRODES. Plops them on Harry's, testicles. DEXTER looks on.

GAY PERRY: (tiredly) — Of course he did, Harry: That's why he’s having. the: body . cremated.

Dexter nods, impressed. Just then his: phone beeps! He. puts it to his ear. Grunts. _ Hangs up.

He shrugs into his coat. Waves to Harry and Perry:

DEXTER | . Perry, nice to have known you. Um --

- HARRY . Harry.

- 107.

| | DEXTER | Harry, of course -- Glad to have met you, hope you won't judge Los Angeles based — solely on your Capersence tonight.

He exits. Heels, clocking away down the hall. As he ‘departs, an ORDERLY ENTERS carrying an ominous black BOX.

Perry squirms -- and instantly the gun trains on him. | The ORDERLY | attaches two trailing WIRES to the black box.

For the record, Aurelio’ s got another. gun; this. one a plastic WATER pistol. Throughout, the sick-o spritzes Harry every so often. Perry snarls at him:

GAY. PERRY

-You like this, don't you, you pseudo- macho shithead? You know, you could Zap this guy in the chest -- sure be simpler...

(frowns) © ae Hmmmm. Know what I think? I think you like lookin' at his works. Is that it--?

‘Aurelio PISTOL-WHIPS him. Perry grins savagely:

. GAY PERRY Dude, face it. You got it in you, man.

The ORDERLY ‘looks 6. Aurelio -- Aurelio nods -- He turns up the rheostat. HARRY SCREAMS. _Thrashes.

PERRY, seemingly impassive. A TIC betrays him. He begins to FLEX the fingers of his hand, _ ves and over...

A ‘TRANSPORT VAN backs toward the mortuary doors. arrayed around the van, four DUDES, all natty in DARK SUITS. Ostensibly mourners -- oh, please. Drug addicts.

MEANWHILE, ACROSS THE STREET — WITH HARMONY

She coasts to the curb. Lights off. Peers out --

As HARLAN DEXTER, NOW, pulls into the: mortuary lot. One of the apes approaches --

He looks up. RAIN, starting to fall... Nods, says:

_ Aurelio speaks calmly to Harry, GUN never leaving Perry:

. . AURELIO - Who. Else. Knows..? Who did you tell? No one, I... I swear... I don't even LIVE

here...!

Another twist of the dial. HARRY arches backward. The current abates. He sags, semi-conscious. Comes round, gagging, coughing -- And that's it. cay Perry's had it.

have never had.a man." Come on, do it. AURELIO Fuck you, maricon. GAY PERRY Is that a yes..? I didn't hear you. AURELIO © ps I will enjoy. having you as a patient. GAY PERRY _ You believe this, Harry? He can't say - it. | " AURELIO

Enough. SHUT UP.

GAY PERRY | Why can't you just say it? Huh? If you're not gay, tell me. JUST TELL ME.

PERRY JAMS HIS HAND down the waistband of his slacks.

| GAY PERRY | Here it is. You want some of this? Come over here. You want a shot of this??-

He springs. forward, GUN poised for a savage blow --

Doesn' t feel it at first; doesn’t realize his kneecap’ s exploded.

“A TONGUE OF FLAME leaps, unbelievably, from between Perry’ 8 LEGS «

Aurelio blinks, dumbfounded. Catches on quick -- As THE DERRINGER fires again.

Takes him in the head. Drops him -- Perry's moving before the body hits. Jerks his legs upward. SPINS -- Swivels on his assy one smooth motion, FIRES-!

Wounds the orderly. Downs him. Then he’s up, crossing toward. HARRY -- who's staring in comic disbelief. Perry reveals his little 3-shot gun, it emerges from his pants.

HARRY oe Thank God you... had a gun in there...

For a second, I thought it was... a gay thing, somehow... you guys just DID that.

He heads for the door, Harry's arm slung round him.

_ Dexter's SUITS, huddled just inside the building.

Suits Harmony just fine. She approaches the VAN DOOR, - undetected. Lifts the handle --

“INT. VAN — CARGO AREA

In here, the DRUMMING is cacaphanous. Harmony spots the COFFIN in back. Wriggles next to it, raises the lid.

Clicks a penlight, directs it down -- a reverent whisper:

- HARMONY . Oh, God... No way, we’re night.

SERIES OF SHOTS: ©

She FLINGS herself over the seats. Brake, off. Snaps her belt. Checks the mirror. Keys the IGNITION --

Chaos. Men, POURING out of the doorway . Shouting -- She gets rubber and PEELS OUT. cor TO:

HARRY & PERRY burst through the door, into the DELUGE. Struggling forward, Harry’s in bad shape...

HARMONY comes flying out of an alley. Slides through a hard lett, throws a ROOSTERTAIL. of water -- . ;

The PHONE RINGS, startles her. Built into the van, a hands free intercom. Rings again. She fumbles for it:

| DEXTER (0.S.) Hello, Harmony! Happy Holidays.

- I'll get back to you shortly.

Click--! He's gone. Suddenly, another ring: HER phone. HARMONY | (hits the button) Yeah. . GAY PERRY (0.S.) It’s me. HARMONY — Oh, my God, how'd you get away? GAY PERRY (O.S.) I fired a small-calibre gun I keep next to my balls. Listen, they hid my car. . We're on Olive, by the freeway, any way you could -- . | HARMONY I'm thirty seconds away. Be where I can see you, be ready to move. She glances in her mirror, draws a sharp breath - -- A

BLACK SEDAN, closing fast.

She hangs up. Stashes the phone. RAIN, coming in sheets now. Obscuring the road.

Up ahead -- FREEWAY. She checks the mirror: They’re

closing fast. She tromps the pedal, BLAZES forward...

The SEDAN RAMS HER from behind.

She swears. Fishtails madly. .The van crosses the center line. SKIDDING. She snaps around, facing forward --

'A PICKUP TRUCK. Bearing down. She screams--! Cuts the

wheel. VEERS, last second --

On foot, HARRY & PERRY watch, helpless, as

THE VAN GOES OVER SIDEWAYS.

smashes down. Slides, 40 miles an hour, out cf control -- IMPACT.

Strikes the freeway OVERPASS. Ricochets off, whipsaws..!

COFFIN, EJECTED--!

The ornate crate SAILS... end over end, glistening...

Comes down, wham--! Atop the big GREEN FREEWAY SIGN.

_ Lodges in the struts. Stuck.

The COFFIN BURSTS OPEN, not all the way. -- Enough to admit one trailing HAND.

One. dead girl's hand dangling limp over the freeway. Spotlighted. Festooned with Christmas lights.»

_ Got it? Good. Now let's wind the. clock back 5 seconds;

because another, concurrent result of the crash is -- HARMONY, FLUNG LOOSE--!

Expelled along with the coffin.

Then she's tumbling free. Downslope, head over heels, bouncing, skipping--! Toward the rushing TRAFFIC.

Events now accelerate; the next 5 pages, all in a rush -- Harmony slams to a stop. Breath driven from her lungs...

Above her, THE CASKET looms, backlit. Strangely beautiful. She gapes, wide-eyed... a

Pow--! MUD, spattered. She spins, startled --. SOMEONE JUST SHOT AT HER.

There. Up at the fence -- the SEDAN. A shadowy ‘FIGURE... raising his arm...

She acts on instinct; Rolls BENEATH THE OVERPASS --

Almost gets away clean. POW--! A bullet tags her. - Oh, shit. CREASES HER, skull-deep. -

She flops in the surrounding dark. A rag doll, as, ABOVE --

_ HARRY AND PERRY

~ Come charging and/or stumbling. Huffing, wheezing. They near the OVERPASS. TRAFFIC below, whooosssshing by--!

Harry -- bobbing, weaving. We realize he's been tortured, he's a mess. He slumps. Nearly falls to his knees.

, | HARRY HARMONY --!

Harry’s shout, full of pent-up rage, frustration _- ANOTHER ANGLE - 20 YARDS UPRANGE |

Actually? He might want to tone it down a bit, because HIS VOICE CARRIES | |

The GUNMAN, halfway in the car. Stops, looks --

And that, brother, is when it goes all to hell.

The guy reacts: spins, smoothly, GUN coming up...

; _ GAY PERRY Jesus, get down!!

Events proceed in the following order: GAY PERRY

Flings himself in front of Harry. One continuous move, gun. materializing, blooming -- oS

Perfect. Perry takes out the gunman .. Blows him down.

Unfortunately, in the last second of his life, the unhelpful badguy fires back....

Also dead on target. . Perry's chest registers impact.

Bang- bang, everybody gets hit. Fuck. In three seconds, the entire world eHengesr

First the GUNMAN goes down, drilled through the neck. Then PERRY grunts, staggers. PIERCED. |

‘Still not done. The slug burns through him, EXITS... Keeps on GOING --

HITS HARRY.

Upper thigh. A soft smack of sound. He's puzzled at first. Suddenly SEATED. Punched by an invisible fist --

SEEN FROM AFAR ©

Two tiny figures collapse in the rain. A third plops flat on his ass.

. Three stark seconds. Awkward, brutal.

Perry’s not getting up.

MEANWHILE, THE SEDAN TAKES OFF

Sweeps out onto the boulevard, slewing rain as AARRY

Crawls toward Perry, who lies slack and unmoving. He stares, incredulous. No. Wrong. ~~

‘PUSH IN ON HARRY -- Staring, dumbstruck.

UNDERNEATH — TUNNEL - WITH HARMONY

In her little world. She lies, semi-conscious....

OVERPASS - BACK WITH HARRY

~ gomething tells. him to cast ‘a look DOWNRANGE, he does -- | HIS POV: 1/4 MILE AWAY

Oh, shit. THE SEDAN isn't through yet. It's slowing, — swinging onto an on-ramp -- Heading BACK this direction.

Back to finish off Harmony.

‘Harry freaks. Stumbles to his feet, .38. Half out of his pocket. © He staggers forward. Flusteréd. Panicked.

SLIPS..! Legs, whisked out from under. Down he goes.

Hits HARD. Cries out in pain. His thigh, SEARING. Tries to sit up. Groans. Flops in a puddle -- BELOW, IN THE TUNNEL - WITH HARMONY She lies, a seeming corpse... Only her lips, trembling: | - HARMONY -

Harold...

(spasm of pain) Awesome... Might...

She rolls over. As her weight shifts, we see but she does not: She rolls over her CELL PHONE. - Groans...

Oblivious to having just placed a call, and meanwhile ' OVERPASS - BACK WITH HARRY > A stir of movement. His eyelids flutter, then open —-

MUSIC: "I Will Survive."

Sees Perry's PHONE, lying dented. Numbly regards the flashing ID window -- Who the hell..?

HARMONY, it says. Beyond sense or reason, he depresses: the button:

He frowns. STATIC at first... Then, scarcely audible...

. HARMONY (0.S.) Harold... use... awesome might... |

The words richochets in his awareness.

Resonating. He closes his eyes. Oh, Christ...

In the downpour, he plants his elbows. Levers himself up. Grits his teeth. Gets a knee under him. PUSHES.

Trembling, he stands. Draws himself to his full height. Soaked, bleeding. Hands shaking.

Staggers to the overpass WALL. Head down. Bleary. LIGHTNING flares--!. Fills the sky. Etches HAROLD in ‘sharp relief. He looks out upon the zipping VORTEX. Reaches in his jacket for his .38..

‘Oh, shit. He's gonna try it from up HERE.

THUNDER rolls. He swipes rain from his eyes. Braces the -38 on the overpass. Draws down on the incoming car...

Takes dead aim... So focused, he. almost doesn't hear it.

At first, a purr... then a burgeoning roar... Turn around..! He whirls --

A speeding car. ANOTHER ONE, he's stunned ~~

HARLAN DEXTER. Right: on TOP of him. It’s finished, he hasn't a fucking chance.

Harry doesn’t think. simply flings himself UP AND _ SIDEWAYS, as the car SLAMS THE WALL where his legs were.

Mr. Agility, our boy -- Only one problem: he can't. STOP | himself. ‘Momentum, too great, simply keeps on rolling --

' RIGHT OFF THE EDGE into space, into. open AIR, tumbling -- WIND, rushing... CARS, blurring past...

Slams headfirst into the. big green FREEWAY SIGN.

‘Collides with it, arms flailing. Clutching desperately _ DAMMIT. No traction, too WET--! Last chance ~—-

CATCHES HOLD. Got it. Unbelievably, lurches to a stop. He dangles, kicking...

Hangens onto RONNIE DEXTER'S ‘DEAD HAND.

and maybe, for a lunatic second, we think she reached from beyond the grave, that she's the one clutching him --

A lover' s grip, as she SUSPENDS ‘him above the freeway.

HARRY blinks away rain. Gasping. His .38 REVOLVER stayed up above. On the EDGE, barrel protruding...

He casts about, despairing. Something, anything...

The overpass starts to VIBRATE. Remember page 5, the thing. that began this Mess. -? It's okay, I don't either.

; . In any event, at that moment, a CITY BUS RUMBLES PAST... ON THE REVOLVER: it jitters... vibrates... FALLS.

HARRY moves fast. The GUN whistles by -- out of the dark | comes a magic-quick. HAND. Rain-slick, minus a finger --

Plucks the weapon from thin air. Impossible.

Reels it in. SPINS it. Acquires the TRIGGER. A magician’ s calm, a ROBOT'S precision. Teeth gritted, raises his arm -~ oO The next 15 seconds, very strange indeed.

_UP ABOVE HIM

DEXTER appears, drawing a weapon. HARRY jerks his head upward. RAIN, sheeting down... © —

Sees the man. FIRES UPWARD..! Kills him.

Dexter topples over the side. Plummets, STRIKES the coffin, BOUNCES--! The coffin shifts, precarious...

ABRUPTLY DROPS. Plunges 5 feet. Stops, ka-chuk--!

Harry's dangling LEGS, now easy prey, A PANEL TRUCK clips his FOOT, jars him. Still he hangs on --

Clutching the dead girl's hand, grimacing in pain... HE DRAWS DOWN On the speeding sedan. HARMONY, stirring...

He TRIGGERS A SHOT. BANG. Echoing in the night. BANG. Another. Nothing. Car window down, GUN emerging --

And so, drenched in rain, battered and broken, Harry quits playing and simply slays the motherfucker. Bang.

Driver, killed. Car VEERS. Smacks an abutment, RICOCHETS and meanwhile -- a

HARRY CAN'T HOLD ON, he loses his grip, plummets... BUCKLES THE ROOF | Of the sliding SEDAN. Strikes it dead center.

Rolls his head. An inch from his nose: the back window. Frosted with blood inside. Like a malted glass.

Feels the car come to a HALT; watches, oddly detached, as THE PASSENGER

Gets out, a foot away. Sees HARRY. Goes for his pistol and Harry just flaps the .38 at him -- | HARRY No.

The gun KICKS in his hand. There, he killed that guy. Lost count. A BULLET SPIKES UPWARD. through the roof.

Oops..! Forgot one. Harry, annoyed... Jams his muzzle to the rootop, fires downward. Bang, for Chrissakes. . Pest, gone.

What we're watching isn't gory; it's flat-out METHODICAL.

Harry, alone now... sprawled out atop the car. Drenched. < Staring at all the pretty colored LIGHTS...

_- HARRY There. Ali done. . Finished.

Draws a sharp breath as LIGHTNING flashes and JONNY

GOSSAMER appears -- the book cover, the exact same image.

' She blinks -- and then, of course, it's HARRY, it always

was. He flops beside her. Manages a lop-sided smile:

. - HARRY You okay? a . She nods. Spots a mid-chest RUPTURE in Harry's jacket. HARMONY | Jesus, Harry, you're hit! ‘HARRY (coughs, grins) You wanna... see something cool..?

Painfully, he reaches into his pocket... The EXACT SPOT

the bullet hit -- withdraws a paperback: JONNY GOSSAMER.

Truth is, bullet went straight through, left a hole like ‘a doughnut. He pokes his FINGER through it -- Grins...

_ BLOOD wells up from Bae wound. The world gets ‘fuzzy.--

Darkness claims him. BLACK SCREEN.

CLOSE ON HARRY: His eyes OPEN -~ Rack focus to NEON outside the window, eitekertng ‘He blinks, .sees Harmony:

: HARRY Huh. .? Put that cat down, I'm n allergic.

- HARMONY “You feeling okay? How are your--?

Indicates his groin area. Harry groans:

HARRY | I can't believe he told you about that.

There's a TAP-TAP at the door, they look up -~.GAY PERRY. Wheelchair bound. He rolls himself over the threshold.

GAY » PERRY You're not in fucking jail, that's your Goddamn present. Hello, Harmony.

Suddenly the NARRATION cuTS IN, it's Harry, saying:

_ - HARRY (V.0.). | Yeah, boo-hiss, I know -- Look, TI hate it: too. In movies where the studio gets all paranoid about a downer ending, so the guy shows up, he's, like, magically ALIVE, on crutches, I hate that. I mean,

“shit, why not bring 'em ALL back..?

As he's speaking, the dead PINK-HAIRED GIRL enters... Followed by FIRE and FRYING PAN, then a LABRADOR with an Old Yeller sign around its neck, then ABRAHAM LINCOLN --

3 HARRY (V.O.) But the point is, see, this time it ; really happened, Perry like, lived. And yeah, it's a dumb movie thing -- but what do you want me to do, lie about it?;

A NURSE hurriedly shoos everyone cut except Perry. Our trio, alone. HARMONY turns to Perry. Eager, expectant:

GAY PERRY

Yeah. I got the scoop. All of it. | You're, uh, not gonna like it.

Now he's got their full attention. Clears his throat:

| GAY PERRY -. Dexter didn't murder your sister.

Harmony stares, mouth working... shakes her head:

. HARMONY . No... that's crazy, you know it. He was using her to impersonate his daughter - --

_ GAY PERRY Never happened. Talked to my police guy. . The ringer’ 5S name was Mia Frye, . age 23. Lived in Glendale. When she wasn't playing Ronnie Dexter, she wore make-up and a pink wig. HARMONY (auncomprehending)

' But... my sister, she... she sent you up to Big Bear, to his cabin...

. GAY PERRY . Your. sister had become convinced Dexter was her natural father. She hung around, watched him, even met the Frye girl, the : impersonator. . ; {beat) | = You see where I'm going with this?

FLASH TO:.A MOONLIT VERANDA

‘The image of Harmony's sister JENNA, her back to us, creeping forward to peer through | a WINDOW...

At figures, ENTWINED. Naked. one of them, we see, is PINK-HAIRED girl. - For now, the WIG resides on a table.

JENNA stumbles backward from the window, turns, BOLTS...

HERE AND NOW: Perry takes Harmony ' § hand:

it... triggered repressed memories, tore the lid off Pandora's box...

(beat) She took her own life.

SNOW, SWIRLING, AN INFINITY OF IT

Fields stretch far and away. Flat,. unbroken. We see a. small clutch of MOURNERS around a grave. SUPER:

FAREWELL, MY LOVELY - EPILOGUE

A bed contains a withered OLD MAN. HARRY steps in. Looks down at him, says quietly:

Pause... the old man's eyes narrow.

. HARRY Nah, I doubt it. I'm no one.

HARMONY ' S- DAD © What do you want?

Nothing much. It's just, the zoo was Closed and I wanted to see an animal.

| _ HARMONY'S DAD | Son of a..! Who do you think you're’ talking to? I buried my daughter today.

He leans in close. Face etched in anger:

- HARRY You took away their future. (beat) And for that I oughtta kill you.

Harry slaps him. HARD. The old man gasps. Sputters:

BACKHANDS him. Head, snapped sideways--! Pillow spritzed with blood. Harry turns on his heel. Walks.

'HARMONY'S DAD -.. Bastard..! Old man, can't defend himself... Big tough guy...

At the door, Harry turns, SMILES. WNods.

- HARRY Yeah. Big tough guy.

Exits.

Crossing the lobby, he glimpses a TV in one corner. HIS POV: A BIG BROWN BEAR tosses a beer and says:

A GIRL catches it. NOT HARMONY. . ‘Someone years younger. Harry smiles ruefully. Exite into the chill twilight.

Outside, she waits -- HARMONY... Harry stops beside her.

ps

HARMONY

Did he say anything interesting? BARRY

No. Nothing. HARMONY

(nods, chews her lip) I only wish she could give me a... a SIGN, just... some way to let me know. (off Harry’s look) ++» that she forgives me.

At that moment there is a sputter, a FLICKER..!

All the streetlights come on. Harmony blinks. Stares.: Harry laughs.

He draws a deep breath of erisp winter air. Feels alive... And young. As the day he was born.

END OF MOVIE

END TITLES DIALOGUE -- OPTIONAL

‘Over the end crawl, as they stroll into the twilight, past the HIGH SCHOOL, where a PEP RALLY's in progress, we HEAR:

- HARRY (V.O0.) You know, New york has pollution. Tons.

m gonna be a famous actress. “And YoU. Jeu re gonna be a famous detective.

HARRY {V.0.} Who? Pin- headed Martha Stewart? .

Harry puts an arm round her as, for the duration of titles --

WE FADE TO BLACK