THE CAMERAmoves along a typical suburban street in an AERIAL SHOT, showing bright and well kept home after home. Finally, we focus on two homes, One house is orthadox suburban, littered with pink flamingos and lawn jockeys. The other could use a coat of paint and some gardening repairs. We dwell on the better of the two homes for a moment.
"BIG" RUSS JOHNSON slowly cracks his eyes open as a steady "clang-clang-clanging" shatters the silence of the bedroom he shares with his wife, MAE.
Russ is a gruff, self-made man, the president of his own construction company (Olympian Construction--We Build Them Bigger and Better), Russ admires hard work and doesn't trust people who read newspapers that don't contain a comics page. Like many Americans, he's impressed by appearances. If it's big, it has to be great.
Mae is a quiet, but strong woman. She winds up) doing most of the child-rearing in the home and, at times, treats Russ like her biggest, most problematic child.
Russ staggers to the bedroom window and gazes down into his backyard,
There, his ten-year-old identical twin sons, RON and DON, are busy pitching a tent to spend the weekend in. The twins are gung-ho Cub Scouts with great imaginations. To them, the neatly-kept grassy yard, with its ceramic animals, is a jungle.
Although identical in appearance, Ron and Don are opposites. Ron has a mischievous streak as deep as the Grand Canyon while Don is the more responsible of the two.
Big Russ gapes at the twins, checking his watch.
Don fr~ezes. Ron continues banging merrily away.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 2
Ron smiles innocently at his father. Big Russ slams the window down.
INT, BEDROOM, MORNING
Big Russ bites his lip and walks back towards the bed~
MAE
/.,.·-_· Except you, dear.
~ BIG RUSS
Darn right.
The clanging continues. Big Russ winces.
He crawls back under the covers.
Big Russ stares at her, perplexed. She smiles brightly at him. He's beaten. He sighs and gets out of bed, grabbing his favorite, battered Olympian Construction cap (it has a picture of Hercules on it, with a big #1) down over his head with a sharp tug.
( ,,..----"'-
~_) Big Russ stumbles into the hall, still sleepy. He
THE TEENY-WEENIES 3
encounters his oldest son, "LITTLE" RUSS, in the hall. Good looking and clean-cut, "Little" Russ is a strong but slightly diminutive fifteen year old. His dead is constantly pushing him to overexcell. "Little" Russ doesn't mind. He's a jock but not a typical one. He's quiet and, in fact, more than a tad self-conscious about his short stature.
Big Russ doesn't give his son a chance to speak. He heads downstairs towards the kitchen. Little Russ shrugs and trots down the stairs and outside the house,
In the yard, while the twins continue to pitch their tent, Little Russ, clad in a sweatsuit, begins to pump iron.
Ron soon grows bored with the tent. He sits down on the ground with a thud,
This entire backyard tableau (Russ' prowess, in particular) ( is being watched from the house nextdoor by AMY SZALINSKI as she toils at the kitchen stove. CJ Fifteen-year-old Amy is a pretty, no-nonsense type. She's tall, ~ears glasses and feels very out of things because of
THE TEENY-WEENIES 4
her height. To help "hide" her stature, she often walks stoop-shouldered and tends to be self-effacing.
At 9 A.M., the Szalinski place is already a madhouse. Amy is trying very hard to prepare breakfast for herself, her dad and her kid brother, six-year-old NICHOLAS. She is having a hard time of it. While scrambling the eggs, whisps of her straw-colored hair keep falling in her eyes.
Little brother NICK ignores her plight, reading a science- fiction novel at the kitchen table. One of the brightest tykes imaginable, Nick is far ahead of his peers in terms of schoolwork, which pleases his parents but annoys Amy, who winds up doing most of the drudge work. Nick is terrified of the real world. He is small and thin and has asthma. When faced with a problem he, more often than not, plays "sick."
He glances into the frying pan at what is supposed to be scrambled eggs.
Nick stares at the eggs as Amy begins to pour them out onto a platter. The eggs resemble something yellow that has just been hit by a car traveling at a very high speed. He sniffs at the goop.
Amy glances at the toast. Smoke is billowing from the toaster.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 5
In the attic, WAYNESZALINSKI is putting the finishing touches on an electromagnetic pulse invention he has constructed. A good-natured, easy-going guy with a PhD in physics, Wayne holds a low-level job for an aerospace · company and spends his weekends on his own work. A bit of a scatterbrain in terms to day-to-day living, for Wayne, physics is easy ••• wearing matched socks is not.
As Wayne putters, the family's feisty little Yorkshire terrier, QUARK, watches, mystified.
He flicks the switch. The machine begins to hum. The dog backs towards the door.
The dog's ears flop up, forming the canine version of a question mark.
Quark stares, dumbfounded, at his master. lJ
THE TEENY-WEENIES 6
0 WAYNE
It will actually shrink the object. A boon to the space program. It will decrease the size and weight of payl~ads sent into space.
Quark yawns. Wayne walks over to a couch standing next to a wall and removes an apple from a paper bag. Quark barks and springs to life, wagging his tail furiously, Could this be snacktime?
He walks over to a large steel plate, the size of a wall, and places the apple on a pedestal.
Quark, finally seeing that the apple isn't his, walks back towards the door, dejected.
Wayne puts on protective goggles and activates the double- beamed machine. THE TWO BEAMS SPARKLE AND COMETO LIFE, BUZZING HARMLESSLY IN THE AIR. WAYNEADJUSTS THE CONTROLS. THE TWO BEAMS INTERSECT AND FORM ONE, POWERFUL, SOLID SHAFT OF LIGHT. THE BEAMHITS THE APPLE, ENGULFING IT. A SHADOW OF SPARKLING LIGHT SHIMMERSALONGTHE OUTSIDE OF THE APPLE. THE APPLE VIBRATES. Quark cowers. Wayne licks his li~s in anticipation, waiting for the apple to shrink.
THERt'S A SUDDENBLAST. THE WALLS, QUARKAND WAYNE ARE COVEREDWITH A SMALL SHOWEROF APPLE SAUCE. Quark happily licks the sauce off his paws.
Wayne sighs, turns off the machine, picks up his notes and a pencil and flops down on his favorite couch. Wayne sits on it upside down, his sauce-spattered head dangling over the side. He stares into space.
He sees Quark's head looming before him, upside down. Quark begins to lick the applesauce off his master's.face.
( 1·•"·•-, The dog licks. \ ____) WAYNE
On the plus side, we have discovered a very expensive way to make apple sauce.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 7
The dog finishes his facial snack and trots out of the room. Wayne begins making notes.
Wayne gets up, tucks the pencil behind his right ear and walks out of the room. A beat. He returns to the room and grabs the papers he's left there, placing the pencil down on the couch. He leaves the room again, A beat. He comes back in and picks up his pencil. He exits.
Wayne wanders into the kitchen, making notes. He's diligently studying a haphazardly piled sheaf of papers in his hands, not at all watching where he's going, Amy guides him so he doesn't collide with either Quark or Nick (this is something of a tradition), Amy watches her dad.
Wayne instinctively changes the direction of his left foot so as not to squash Quark.
Waune pivots, still reading his papers, so as not to Smack into Nick. He makes a move to sit down.
Wayne has almost sat down on a small table housing a sewing basket. He lifts his rear at the last minute and slides into the adjoining seat. Nick sighs and begins his morning routine. He pops a series of pi1ls from p~escription bottles and, then, inserts a bronchial ashtma inhaler into his mouth. He takes several Darth Vader-sounding gulps before facing the food.
Amy serves what looks like nuked-out bacon and slimed eggs to her father as Wayne, elbows on table, continues to pour through his notes.
/' Wayne lifts his elbows. She slides the breakfast beneath him. He puts down his notes and stares at the food. l_)
THE TEENY-WEENIES 8
Wayne puts a fork into them. The eggs run through the prongs. He stares at the food. Amy walks quickly towards a cabinet drawer.
Her father reaches for a slice of toast. it's black. He makes a move to butter it. The toast crumbles on impact. He shrugs and goes back to his notes, scribbling furiously.
Wayne "mmmmm's" ·,and .continue to scribble.
No response.
Wayne continues to scribble. Nick looks at him, expecting a compliment. Amy gives Nick a "nyah niah" glance.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 9
The phone rings. Wayne stops scribbling and jumps up to get it, taking his notes with him. Nick stirs his eggs.
Amy snatches his plate away.
She dumps the breakfast into the dog's bowl~ Quark sniffs it and backs away. Nick flashes Amy a knowing, smug smile.
Wayne runs for the phone in the hallway, still juggling his papers. He picks up the receiver, glancing at the notes. It's his wife, DIANE,
Wayne perks up.
Diane, a pretty woman in her mid-to-late thirties, stands in a studio apartment filled with unpacke~ boxes and crates. It's clear she hasn't settled into her new lifestyle.
DIANE
, '\
And don't forget the food shopping
LJ has to be done today.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 10
(\ i _j WAYNE(v.o.)
Jeeez. Thanks for reminding me.
I ·., Wayne stands, flustered, at the phone. ~\...___./
THE TEENY-WEENIES 11
As Diane talks; Wayne finds himself staring at his notes.
Silence, Wayne gapes at his notes.
/,,. INT. DIANE'S APARTMENT, DAY
\7,_____. DIANE
You haven't heard anything I've said, have you?
She slams the phone down hard. CLICK.
He puts down the phone. Amy is standing next to him.
Wayne walks through the house, collecting his hat and coat
THE TEENY-WEENIES 12
and stuffing his papers into his briefcase. His kids trail behind him. He tosses on a very loud tie and heads for the front door. He still holds a notepad in his hand. He's studying it as he heads for the door. He reaches for the doorknob and misses. Amy opens the door for him.
Wayne walks out the door. Amy closes it behind him. Amy and Nick sigh and glance at each other. They mouth the words "one, two, three ••• " There's a knock at the door. It's Wayne.
Wayne heads for the car. Amy eases the door closed, a wistful expression on her face.
Walking towards his car, Wayne encounters Russ and Mae Johnson. Mae is busily tending to her pride and joy: her all-encompassing flowerbeds. Big Russ still wears his cap.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 13
(--------) ·.._____/ MAE (nudging Russ)
Russell.
Wayne sighs. He's been through this before.
Wayne shrugs and gets into his car.
Mae chuckles at Wayne drives off.
Mae leaves, turning her attention to the flowers on the side of the house. Big Russ looks around, Reaching under his hat, he pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He produces a bent cigarette, sniffs it, straightens it, places it in his mouth and is about to light up when ••••
He removes the cigarette, stashes the pack and calls back sweetly.
Meanwhile, in the Szalinski kitchen, Nick sits in the window with Quark, where he's constructing a small town made out of Lego (tiny plastic bricks). He takes a whiff of hi's asthma inhaler as Quark begins to growl. Quark spots the Johnson's cat, Cicero, in the Johnson yard. The cat is twice as big as the dog.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 14
In the Johnson backyard, Ron has disappeared momentarily. Don sits in the tent,· gazing into the fierce "jungle" through binoculars. Their pet cat, Cicero, walks up and stares into them. Don blinks and looks up. Little Russ continues to work out. Ron reappears, walking over to Don. Cicero pays no mind.
The cat tenses.
Ron is hiding something behind his back. He takes Don to the fence seperating the two yards and produces a bottle of syrup.
Ron doesn't answer. He pours a healthy wad of syrup on the fence. Flies begin to land on it. They get trapped in it. Ron is delighted.
RON
/.•· Hey, they're only bugs. \ \_j Big Russ walks, disgruntled, into the yard. He spots the twins, frowns, and walks towards them.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 15
Ron, thinking fast, ditches the syrup. It lands in the Szalinski yard nextdoor, where the bottle empties onto a patch of grass.
Big Russ walks over towards Little Russ as Mae enters the yard to tend to some of the flowers back there. Don turns to Ron and points to the syrup.
Big Russ approaches Little Russ as the boy works out.
The boy sits up and faces his father,
L
THE TEENY-WEENIES 16
Little Russ sighs.
Big Russ leaves the yard. Mae sidles over to Little Russ and smiles.
I ·, She fixes a stern look on her face and marches towards the \,,_) back door.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 17
n Little Russ stares down at the weights. He sighs and gazes up at the sky, defeated. He glances into the next yard. Amy is tossing a frisbee with Quark. He smiles at her. She looks away. Russ sighs and returns to pumping iron.
The twins are now playing ball. Don pitches a ball to Ron who proceeds to swat the ball high into the air. His "home runs" wind up missing Little Russ by inches. The ball whizzes by Cicero. The cat screeches. Little Russ doens't even have to look up to realize who's doing the da~age.
Ron continues to swat the ball. Nick, interested, calls to them from the kitchen window.
He points to a hive in a tree that straddles both yards, Ron isn't impressed.
Ron swings at the next pitch and connects. The ball misses the bee~hive by inches, rebounding off the tree and bouncing back down into the yard. Don flashes his brother a smug smile. Ron gulps. He faces Nick.
For his next turn at bat, however, he changes the angle of his batting position. Nick, not wanting to take any chances, pulls the screen down on the wiridow, knocking a few legos off the windowsill and into the yard.
Ron takes a fast swing and sends the pitch sailing over the
THE TEENY-WEENIES 18
fence seperating the two yards. The ball seems to take
forever to reach its target ••• it smashes through the Szalinski's attic window.
There is a terrifyingly long second of silence. All the kids exchange petrified glances.
Little Russ leaps to his feet.
The twins point to each other simultaneously.
Nick trots out of the house, horrified. Amy runs over to the fence and yells at all three boys.
In the attic, we see the ball perched precariously on a ledge directly above the machine's innerworkings. It is slowly teetering on the edge. It rolls off and smashes into the intricate, computer chip-laden guts of the machine, nestling in front of the power source of one of the two particle beam "cannons."
The gizmo sputters to life. A comp~icated computer, replete with screen, is hooked up to what looks like two laser
THE TEENY-WEENIES 19
"cannons," The computer, which analyzes anything placed before the particle beams, goes haywire,
The two gun-like devices begin jerking back and forth and up and down, Only one of the barrels functions, however, FIRING WILDLY IN SHORT, CRAZY, STACATTOBURSTS, ZZZAP. THE BEAMHITS WAYNE'S COUCH. THERE'S A LOUD POP. IT'S SHRUNKEN TO MINIATURE SIZE. BZAP, POP. A CHAIR GOES NEXT. ZIP. POP. THERE GOES A TRUNK.
EXT, SZALINSKI YARD, DAY
In the backyard, Russ calms Amy down.
AMY
" \ I h~ard what Nick told you, You would ~ \,.,~H/ have gotten stung by those bees and
died if it wasn't for Nick,
Ron snorts derisively, Amy shoots Nick a dirty look. She hates it when Nick acts smart, Which is almost all the time.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 20
n Nick leads the twins into the house. AMy and Little Russ ··... / are left standing awkwardly in the yard. Amy is several inches taller. She tries to slouch.
Nick takes the twins into the attic to retrieve the ball. The machine, at present, seems harmless enough. Only WE SEE THE COMPUTER SCREEN TRACKING THE CHILDREN'S MOVEMENTS.Don and Ron are amazed at the gizmo.
Ron walks offscreen. The kids look for the ball. While they search, THE WORKINGLASER CANNON BEGINS TRACKING RON'S MOVEMENTS,AIDED BY THE COMPUTER. No one notices. Don looks at Nick. Nick is standing, facing the wall, frowning.
\ NICK \....._~___)
I don't know. Something's different.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 21
n Don steps on something. It crunches. Curious, Don bends towards the floor.
He gets down on all fours and stares at the floor. The attic furniture is there, 1/4 inch tall.
WE HEAR A LOUD "POP," A FLASH OF LIGHT BURSTS FROM OFFSCREEN. Don turns around.
Nick turns around in time to see THE STACATTOBEAMSCONNECT ON DON. DON IS IMMEDIATELYSHRUNK, THE ENERGYOF THE PROCESS CAUSINGA RESOUNDING BANGAND A FLASH OF LIGHT, Nick is tossed onto the floor. He crawls to where Don has stood. Nick stares at the floor. Both Ron and Don are there, as teeny- weeny as can be.
The machine begins to aim its laser cannon on Nick. Nick's elation fizzles.
He makes a move for the door. BZAAAP. THE BEAMSMASHESINTO ONE OF DIANE'S SEWINGDUMMIES.WHAM. NICK FREEZES. THE FORCE OF THE ENERGY"POP" CLOSES THE ATTIC DOOR.-NICK GULPS AND TRIES TO RUN FOR THE DOOR. BZAAAP. POP! NICK IS HIT AND SHRUNK BEFOtE HE CAN TAKE TWOSTEPS.
Both Amy and Russ grow restless.
She turns to go inside, putting her hand on the railing. She
THE TEENY-WEENIES 22
() pulls her hand back, terrified. ',, ____
Little Russ takes his finger .and "pings" the unseen bug off the stoop. It lands on the ground. He takes his foot and squashes it.
She storms inside. Russ is left in the yard. Quark walks up to· him, wagging his tail.
Amy enters the attic.
BZZZAAAP. AMYIS SHRUNK. She finds herself on the vast floor of the attic, together with the three other children •
vast wooden plain. Shrunken furniture is everywhere. The twins aren't at all pleased.
RON
,· ''\ You were the one who liked it. I \ ) "-·---.,; thought it was junk.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 23
(; AMY ,, /
Shut up! Both of you! Nick?
She walks over to her brother, who is mesmerized by the towering machine.
Little Russ sits next to Quark when a tall, gangly kid enters the yard. It's TOMMY PERVIS, munching on an ever- present bag of oreos.
Ee points to his jogging shoes. They're falling apart.
Russ smiles at Tommy exits.
Yeah. Later, Pervis.
Russ sit~ in the yard a beat. He then gets up and stands under the attic window.
No answer. He walks up to the back door and slowly swings it open.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 24
He enters the house. Quark is left outside, whining.
Russ slowly enters the attic.
Nothing seems amiss. The shrunken kids, on the floor, spot Little Russ, now an Olympian giant.
,,,,.... Russ doesn't hear the teeny-weenies, let alone see them. He glances suspiciously around the attick, Hearing a strange buzzing sound, he turns around in time to see the LASER CANNON BOBBING UP AND DOWN, AIMING IN HIS DIRECTION. THE STACATTOBEAMSBEGIN FIRING AT HIM. RUSS BEGINS JUMPING UP AND DOWN, BACK AND FORTH, DUCKINGAND DODGINGTHE BURSTS OFLIGHT THE BEST HE CAN, HE'S A MOVINGTARGET CAUGHTIN A PARTICLE BEAMSHOOTING GALLERY. THE MACHINE-GUN-LIKE BEAMS ZIP ALL AROUND HIM.
Every time his titanic feet hit the attic floor, the teeny- weenie kids are toss_ed up and down into the air, the victim of a boy-made earthquake. They try to struggle to their feet and stay upright but it's a losing battle. Every time they stand up, they're thrown to the ground again.
Little Russ moves towards them. One of his giant feet smashes the trunk to a pulp. The kids scurry about, trying to stay out of the way of Russ' tennis shoes.
Don slips down into a crack between two floor boards as one of the shoes hurtles down towards the floor. Ron hits the deck as the shoe comes down atop him. He's so small, however, that he fits inbetween one of the grooves on the shoes' sole. The shoe returns skyward, leaving Ron unhurt. Russ continues his wild dance AS THE BEAMS SKITTER BY HIM. FINALLY, HE DUCKS WHENHE SHOULDHAVE DODGED. THE BEAMS CONNECT. BZZZAAAP. POW!
Russ is now insect-sized, too. He lies on the floor, moaning, totally in shock.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 25
I~ Meanwhile, the baseball, still balanced on the machinery, '., ..... • tumbles off the invention and onto the floor. It rolls, boulder-sized, towards the kids. They scatter. Amy stands, frozen in her tracks, as the ball heads directly for her.
Russ sees what's going on and gets to his feet. In the best of football styles, he tackles the frightened girl. They both go tumbling out of the way of the titanic ball. The ball barrels into the rest of the tiny pieces of furniture,
as the twins and Nick run up to them. Russ helps Amy to her feet.
Without the baseball putting pressure on its inner- workings, the machine hisses to a halt and shuts down.
The kids stand, confused, on the vast attic floor. The reality of the situation hits them at once. Amy turns d angrily towards Russ.
She stands, looking down at him. He raises himself on his toes.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 26
That remark visably shakes Ron.
At the science convention, Wayne's theories are greeted by the seriousness usually reserved for Henny Youngman routines. He's in front of an equation-laden blackboard, holding his papers in his hand. One young, arrogant scientist, FREDERICKSON, is particular~y ha~d on Wayne,
WAYNE(annoyed)
d
Yes, I am, Professor Frederickson.
The crowd seems to agree with Frederickson.
Wayne is stuck and he knows it.
The crowd laughs, Frederickson, sneering, gets up and walks out. The rest of the sc~entists follow, leaving Wayne alone at the podium. An older scientist, DR. BRAINARD, walks up
THE TEENY-WEENIES 27
to Wayne.
Wayne puts his notes in his briefcase.
Brainard stares at Wayne's loud tie.
Wayne's car pulls up in front of his home. Wayne walks up ( towards the house, crestfallen.
h~--.,) INT. HALLWAY,DAY
Quark runs up to greet him, barking.
Wayne walks into the kitchen and gives Quark a milkbone. The dirty dishes are still in the sink. Wayne makes a mental note of that and calls out into the back yard.
Upstairs, the kids perk up.
The kids begin yelling.
Up here!
THE TEENY-WEENIES 28
LITTLE RUSS
~\
We're up here!
Wayne walks through the house.
No reply. Wayne shrugs. He takes off his loud tie, looks at it, frowns and places it in the garbage can in the kitchen; one of the foot-pedal models with a plastic bag liner. It's filled with Amy's sorta-scrambled eggs.
Glumly, Wayne walks upstairs towards the attic.
He steps inside and sees the broken glass from the window.
The kids are screaming to get his attention.
Don punches Ron on the arm.
Wayne sees that glass fragments are scattered on the top of his machine. That doesn't exactly make his day. (
·-----------····---··-·-··---- ·····-·---···---
THE TEENY-WEENIES 29
(~ WAYNE
What else can go wrong?
He backs over to where his old, reliable couch once stood and sits down. There's no couch. He goes crashing down onto the floor. The force of the impact sends the teeny-weenies tumbling onto the ground. Wayne scrambles to his feet.
He storms out of the room. T~e kids squeak in protest.
AMY
Meanwhile, Wayne dials the phone.
I \I of the house when I'm not home, But our \, --................,I couch? ,lli: couch? My thinking couch?
(cont.)
THE TEENY-WEENIES 30
He slams the phone down. Quark is sitting at the foot of the stairs leading up to the attic, whining.
The dog continues to whine. Wayne sighs, bends down and pets the dog.
The ground beneath the kids begin to shimmy. Footsteps rumble ominously in the background. Nick jumps excitedly.
Am~ stares at something high above her as a shadow falls over them all.
Wayne has returned with the kitchen trashcan, a broom and a dustpan. The kids cling to each other as Wayne begins sweeping up the shards of broken glass.
Dust swirls everywhere around the kids ss Wayne sweeps around the machine. Finished, he then turns to where the kids are huddled.
The children attempt to run. It's no use. They are caught by the broom. The kids attempt to cling to the frayed strands at the edge of the broom. No luck. They are swept into the dustpan.
Wayne carries the dustpan over to the open garbage can.
In the dustpan, the kids are screaming.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 31
(~ NICK
Don't!
The CAMERA follows the kids as THEY GO TUMBLINGTHROUGH SPACE TOWARDS THE TRASH.
They hit wads of junk and go sliding about. Suddenly. DARKNESS.
Wayne has closed the lid on the trashcan. He carries it downstairs.
( INT. KITCHEN, DAY
b Quark whines madly at Wayne's fee~. Wayne tries to ignore the dog. He lifts the bag out of the trashcan, ties the top with a small green wire and makes a move to go into the backyard to place the .trash at the rear of the property. Quark barks and tries to follow.
He slams the door in the dog's face.
Wayne walks to the back of the yard. He places the bag down near the rear fence, next to several other garbage bags. He then returns to the house.
Quark whines and barks. Wayne sits down, dejected, at the kitchen table.
' - \ \ ) The dog, seeing that Wayne is in no mood for audio ·--........--·· delights, slinks off into his corner and lies, pensively,
THE TEENY-WEENIES 32
in his dog bed, glancing at the door leading outside.
In the yard, the garbage bag leans against the rear fence.
INT, TRASHBAG, DAY
Inside, in almost total darkness, the kids pull themselves through fast mounds of garbage and stand on an amazingly straight surface. They huddle together, scared and silent. Ron and Don scrape some of the slimed eggs off their shoulders.
RON
/' Peeee-yoooo.
d Silence. The kids gaze glumly into the darkness. Nick speaks. Slowly. Quietly.
Amy and Russ exchange somber glances. Don reaches into his pocket. He nudges his brother. Ron suddenly grins and reaches into his pocket. Both boys produce pen knives.
Both boys tear into the thick side of the bag. The kids gather behind them.
The children, perched on garbage tilted on an angle, are leaning on the twins. As the twins cut further, the garbage shifts more. The twins finally rip a hole in the bag. The angle of the garbage causes the children to tumble out of the sack. A fistful of garbage slides out along with them.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 33
The kids and the garbage land in the yard below with a SPLAT. The kids stumble to their feet, making disgusted faces while scraping the bits of egg and bacon off them.
He ceremoniously slides his knife back into his pocket. All -~h~ kids stop what they're doing and gape at what lies ahead. They are confronted by a world unlike anything they've ever seen. From their quarter-inch height, the backyard is a totally alien landscape: large, green, never-ending ••• dangerous.
Before them likes a redwood forest-sized sea of grass, shadow-leaden and forboding with only a stray ray of sunlight or two illuminating the ground, The children stare somberly into the dark forestland. The Johnson kids stand together. Nick stands at Amy's side. Amy begins thinking outloud,
Nick gapes at the never-ending terrain stretching out before him. He is stunned.
Nick stares at the yard. He begins to cough. He pulls out his inhaler and takes several gulps.
Nick continues to wheeze.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 34
r\ LITTLE RUSS \ ) That doesn't sound very ••••
Ron turns to Don.
Amy turns to Russ.
Nick overhears and turns on Amy angrily.
' outs~de too long. You can't breathe. \ ...)
The kids gaze deep into the Bobdingnagian forest.
They stand there a moment longer, looking at each other.
Straight ahead, I guess.
The kids wander deeper into the underbrush. There is very little light. They cart't see the sky. They can hear noises all around them. Buzzing. Crackling. Chomping. Suddenly, Ron gives out with a Tarzan yell. The kids almost drop dead from heart attacks.
---- - -------------·------------ --
THE TEENY-WEENIES 35
(; LITTLE RUSS ',, ../
Knock it off.
He shinnies up a blade of grass. At the top, he stares into the distance.
There, looming like a monolithic presence, surrounded by the swirling fog of debris, is the Szalinski house ••• seemingly a hundred miles away. From Russ' vantage ~oint, it looks like Mt. Hood viewed from a great distance.
The kids cluster around the base of the grass blade.
Nick breathes a sigh of relief and begins to cough. He takes his asthma inhaler out and gives himself a Darth Vader shot as Russ shinnies down the grass.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 36
Nick clears his throat.
Amy and Russ eye each other cautiously.
Amy and Russ walk off. The three other boys fall in behind.
Amy and Russ are in the lead. Amy gazes in awe at the \ titanic landscape. - e .
Amy decides to let that one pass.
Look. I know we're not friends or anything, but we have to act like we know what we're doing. If the little kids get discouraged, they'll punk out on us.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 37
(~ AMY(sullenly) ' /I
I know.
Don glances over his shoulder. He sees something and cocks his head. He nudges Nick. Nick turns as well. In the distance, the grass is blowing wildly. First, in one direction. Then, in another. A few pieces of twigs FALL UP INTO THE AIR.
A mammoth dandelion suddenly LAUNCHESITSELF INTO SPACE. Nick and Don exchange fishy looks. They turn back to the others. Before they can speak, the SOUNDOF PROLONGED THUNDERRIPS THROUGH THE FOREST. There appears to be a real storm brewing. Blasts of wind howl through the oversized blades of grass. Russ is getting uneasy.
~ ~~ THE EARTH BEGINS TO SHAKE VIOLENTLYBENEATHTHE KIDS. They are tossed this way and that. They manage to get back onto their feet by clinging to the tree-sized roots of the grass and weeds. The whole world seems-to be in turmoil. Squalls of wind and dust fly everywhere.
Nick squints into the grit, wheezing.
The kids gape at the approaching cause of the maelstrom. THE OREO-MUNCHING PERVIS BOY, NOWTHE SIZE OF THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT, IS PUSHING A KING KONG-SIZED POWERMOWER.THE GAS-POWERED MACHINEIS SHREDDINGGRASS AND TOSSING THE DEBRIS INTO A BAG ATTACHED TO ITS REAR. SOME OF THE DEBRIS, HOWEVER,MISSES THE BAG AND COMESCRASHING DOWNONTO THE FOREST FLOOR LIKE AN.AVALANCHE OF UPROOTEDTREES.
The kids scramble to their feet and try to outrun the machine. It's no use. Large, boulder-sized pieces of grass are smashing onto the ground all around them. / ) \_ ____. LITTLE RUSS
Get down! Get down!
THE TEENY-WEENIES 38
Standing, Russ tries to get all the children flat onto the ground. A blast of wind sends him flying through space some ten feet,
The terrified children cling to the ground~ Russ slowly crawls back towards them. The children huddle together as THE TITANIC MOWERPASSES OVERTHE SECTION OF THE YARDWHERE RUSS HAS JUST MADEIT BACKFROM.
GRASS IS OBLITERATED,SUCKEDINTO THE AIR. THE DIRT IS ~LTERNATELY BEING BLASTED HELTER-SKELTER ACROSSTHE FLOOR OF THE YARDANDBEING SUCKED STRAIGHTUP INTO THE AIR.
THE MASSIVEMACHINE HEADSFOR THE TEENY-WEENIES.
Above them, THE CIRCULARBOTTOM OF THE MOWER HOVERS, LIKE AN OMINOUSMOTHERSHIP FROMSOMEHELLISH PLANET. THE BLADES WHIRLMADLY.THE SUCTIONCAUSESTHE GRASSAROUND THE CHILDREN TO UPROOTANDBLAST OFF TOWARDSTHE BLADES. The kids cling to each other. Their feet begin lifting from the ground, being d~awn to the mower by its tremendous suction, Russ tries to pull the small children down to the ground. They are slowly being lifted.
The kids form a human wheel, like earthbound skydivers in formation. They anchor each other as-THE MOWERPASSES DIRECTLYOVERTHEM.
Don holds onto one of Amy's hands and one of Russ's. He lets out a brief, terrified shriek as A HUGEBLAST OF SUCTION LitTS HIS LEGS INTO THE AIR. HE LOSES HIS GRIP. HE IS TORNFROMTHE GRASPOF HIS COMPANIONS.
Ron stares, horrified, at the sight of HIS BROTHER, SWIRLINGHIGH ABOVE HIM, BEING SUCKED INTO THE CLOUDS OF DUST ANDDEBRIS HOVERING BENEATH THE CHURNING BLADES.
IN THE MIDDLEOF A DUST-FILLED LIMBO, WE SEE DONCLING FRANTICALLY TO A TREE-TRUNKSIZED STEM, HIS FEET STILL BEING YANKED UPWARD.
THE MOWER WHIRLSABOVE THE REST OF THE KIDS FOR ANOTHER, LONGSECOND. THE NOISE OF THE MOTORIS DEAFENING,SOUNDING
THE TEENY-WEENIES 39
~' LIKE A MADDENED DINOSAUR. A LARGE, BRANDNEW SNEAKER I I. SMASHES DOWNONTO THE GROUNDWITH A CRASH NEAR THEM.
The kids are buffeted about. Gradually, the noise subsides. THE MOWER MOVESON. The THUNDERof the footsteps fades· away.
The kids climb out from beneath a blanket of shredded grass, slabs of green about the size of surfboards. Ron is the first one to run off.
The other children follow him.
The children begin searching beneath the shards of grass for the missing boy. They can't find him.
( AMY
Donald!
C:__)
The kids continue to search beneath the grass. Nick begins panting. He's tearing into the grass with all his might, After a tense minute or so, the children stop their search,
Ron gapes at the shredded grass.
The kids turn as one and see that, a city block away, Don is appearing and disappearing over a small forest of grass. He is literally bouncing up and down out of view. The kids run forward.
The children run forward and enter ••••
The children run into what appears to be a giant forest
THE TEENY-WEENIES 40
filled with flowers; actually, it's just a few feet of an overgrown wild flowerbed sitting in the yard, Don is bouncing up and down on a flower, using it like a trampoline, Unfortunately, he has no control of his bounces.
Ron makes a move to grab his brother off the flower, He keeps on missing him. On the fifth or sixth bounce, Don winds up tumbling onto the ground. He gets up to his feet. He's shakey and there's a lopside grin on his face. Everyone hugs Don except Ron. When the other kids are done, Don stands, smiling at his brother. He hugs Ron. Ron brushes him aside.
Amy and Russ, with the knowledge that Don is safe, take in the flowerbed. They stare, transfixed, at the Olympian swath of color.
Russ stares at Amy. She faces him, beaming. Slightly embarrassed, he l-0oks away.
Ron checks out the flowers, unimpressed. He gets an idea. He nudges Don. The twins grin at the flowers. Ron turns to Don. They smile in unison.
They run by Nick towards the flowers. Nick, caught in their wake, goes spinning. He lands on the ground in sitting position. For one, brief moment, the kids act like total children. It's as if they've stumbled onto paradise. Amy
THE TEENY-WEENIES 41
and Russ stand behind Nick.
The twins discover that the shorter flowers make perfect trampolines. They begin bouncing up and down and from one flower to another, Ron gives another Tarzan yell.
He catches himself.
He turns and sees that Amy has fashioned a hula skirt around her belt from large flower pedals.
(
this dress.
\,___:)
Nick giggles. The twins leap by a "puff" flower. The flower disintegrates and rains down a shower of flowery "snow." The clearing really begins looking like a fairyland, now.
Nick gets up and starts wheeling joyfully through the "snow." Soon, he begins to sneeze. He pulls out his asthma inhaier and takes a whiff.
He smiles. Pockets his inhaler. Puffs out his chest. He marches straight for the flowers, determined to have fun.
The twins are whooping and rebounding wildly from flower to flower. Nick hesitantly tries a bounce on a nearby flower. :/ j' He lands awkwardly. He tries another bound. An another. He '-,,___../ loses his balance and winds up tumbling onto the ground. He looks around, embarrassed. Amy and Russ have seen him and
THE TEENY-WEENIES 42
(~ laugh. Nick grins, realizing that th~ laughter isn't \ ; malicious. He gets back onto the flower and begins bouncing away, gradually getting the hang of it.
Gathering courage, he lets out a full whoop.
We hear, very faintly, the sounds of the frolicking children, AS WE SOAR HIGH ABOVE THE YARD, A DEAFENING BUZZINGSOUND ECHOINGIN OUREARS.
Amy and Russ watch the younger children play. Russ glances at the sun. He calls to the kids on the flowers.
( '\ ~- Nick stops bounci-ng immediately. Ron and Don continue \........, playing.
Ron notices Nick's hesitation. The little boy is obviously waiting for a cue from the twins.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 43
Nick nods.
Russ walks forward and snatches Don off a flower. Don quietly stands by his side. Russ then pulls Ron off a flower, Ron is struggling.
Look. There's something you'd both better understand. We're in a lot of trouble, okay? This isn't a game. We could die out here and no one
/ would notice. The only way we're going
to get out of this is if we all help each other. Got that?
Little Russ, thinking it's all settled, turns his back on the twins. Ron immediately runs back to a flower and launches himself, again, on a flower-trampoline.
The twins start bouncing again. Nick laughs and resumes as well. Amy and Russ exchange exasperated glances.
WITH THE BUZZING DRONINGIN OUR EARS, SOMETHINGSHADOWY SWOOPSDOWN TOWARDS THE CHILDREN, STILL ROMPINGFAR BELOW us.
Amy and Russ watch the younger children play. Amy ~tiffens. She hears a faint buzzing.
-------------·------·--·
THE TEENY-WEENIES 44
Amy stares at the sky around her.
LITTLE Russ- Naaaah. It's just your ears playing tricks on you.
Russ glowers but does as he's told. The buzzing seems to be coming from all around them.
Russ is getting nervous. The three younger children gradually slow down their bouncing. Ron, Don and Nick stand on their flowers, heads cocked. The noise around them grows louder and louder. The flower bed sounds like the streets of London just before the Nazi Blitz. The droning is overwhelming. Amy screams and points as a dark cloud falls upon the children.
A TITANIC HONEYBEE HOVERS OVER THE FLOWERBED.
The twins dive off the flowers and run in one direction. Nick runs in another~ Amy and Russ retreat ~ogether. THE BEE BEGINS FLYING FROM FLOWERTO FLOWER, EXTRACTINGPOLLEN, STUFFING THE STICKY YELLOWSTUFF INTO "BASKETS" ON ITS REAR LEGS. From the children's POV, the bee is the size of a flying .VW van.
Nick crouches beneath a flower, wheezing. The bee alight~ directly next to him. The pollen-gathering BEE DESCENDS LOWERAND LOWER. Nick trembles, trying to hold his breath.
Amy makes a move to yell. Russ puts a hand around her mouth.
Nick watches, horrified, AS THE BEE GETS CLOSER AND CLOSER. He's almost hyperventillating. THE BEE SUDDENLYSCOOPS NICK UP AND PLASTERS HIM ONTO ONE OF HIS HIND LEGS WITH THE STICKY SLABS OF POLLEN.
Amy breaks away from Russ and runs towards the bee.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 45
Ron and Don gape at each other.
Nick is half-smothered in pollen.
Russ springs forward and, sprinting in front of Amy, leaps onto a flower, using it as a trampoline.
THE BEE, SATIATED, BEGINS TO TAKE OFF. Russ bounces from flower to flower, finally sailing through the air towards the bee. HE DIVES ONTOTHE BACKOF THE RETREATING BEE.
Amy and the twins watch, fearfully, as THE BEE, ALONGWITH NICK ANDRUSS, disappears in the sky. The humming noise fades into the distance. The twins stand, transfixed.
Meanwhile, on THE BACKOF THE BEE, RUSS GETS A BREATHTAKING (AND DIZZY) RIDE HIGH ABOVETHE YARD. THE BEE TWISTS AND TURNS, RUSS STRUGGLING TO GET CONTROL OF THE INSECT BY GRABBING ITS WINGS. THE PROBLEM IS, HALF OF THE TIME, HE'S ALMOST SLIDING OFF THE BEE'S BACK. NICK SQUIRMSIN THE POLLENON THE BEE'S BACKLEG.
THE BEE CONTINUES TO CAREENOVERTHE YARD, QUITE ANNOYED
THE TEENY-WEENIES 46
WITH ITS SURPRISE BAGGAGE.
t Near the house, we see the Pervis boy surveying the newly cut grass.
EXT, SKY, DAY
Russ still struggles for control of the bee, He looks up. THE BEE IS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE PERVIS BOY'S HEAD.
We hear the tiny voices of the teeny-weenies call out. So does the Pervis boy, sort of. Confused, he starts swatting at the bee.
( .. ri, ......./The bee dodges and ducks the boy's swings.
THE BEE SWINGSAWAY FROM THE PERVIS BOYJUST AS RUSS GRABS ITS WINGS, GIVING THEMA SOLID YANK.UNABLE TO CONTROLITS FLIGHT, THE BEE BEGINS A SPIRALING DIVE TOWARDSTHE GROUND.
THE BEE LANDSNOSEFIRST WITH A SICKENINGCRASH••.• SENDING BOTHBOYSTUMBLING OFF. THE INSECT ANDTHE TWOBOYSLAY, INERT, ON THE FORESTFLOOR.
Amy and the twins linger by the flowerbed.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 47
Ron stalks off. Don sighs, gives Amy a "what can I do?" look and takes off after his brother, Amy hesitates, watching the two boys disappear. She grits her teeth and follows them.
Wayne is on the phone. We hear the last part of Diane's message before the beep. He slames the phone down. Quark is at his feet, whining.
The doorbell rings. Wayne walks towafds the front door.·
'INT. SZALINSKI HOUSE, DAY
Wayne opens the door. Diane is there. They stare at each other angrily. Diane thrusts a handful of papers in his hand.
She marches inside. Wayne stands at the door. He pokes his head outside and looks to the left and the right, expecting to see the kids. They aren't there. Puzzled, he returns inside and closes the door.
THE TEENY-WEENIEp 48 I ~ (\ WAYNE '·•..,.__) And the couch? Where's my thinking couch?
She glances around,
Diane walks into the kitchen. Wayne is trailing in the hall behind her. Quark continues to whine.
Quiet, Quark.
Earth to Wayne. Earth to Wayne. I don't have the couch. Where are the children?
Wayne raises a finger to his lips, thoughtfully. Quark barks.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 49
/~. WAYNE ( ; \ ,/ You didnlt remind me •••
Quark barks again.
Quark stops barking and runs around in front of the back door. Wayne and Diane walk through the swinging door leading to the yard. Quark tries to run out after them. The door swings back on him. Thump. The dog retreats back into the kitchen yelping.
Wayne stands on the back steps, Diane behind him.
Deep in the forest, th• twins and Amy hear a thundering roar. It's the pitch of a tyrannosaurus rex. We can barely make out the words.
The kids run forward.
EXT, JOHNSON YARD, DAY
Meanwhile, while Wayne and Diane are calling for their kids. Big Russ, still wearing his cap, walks out into his backyard where Mae is watering her garden.
The kids continue to run forward,· the twins take the lead, \ __) leaving Amy far behind.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 50
EXT, JOHNSON YARD, DAY
Russ, spotting Wayne, walks over to the fence. He leans his arm on the fence and comes up with an elbow-ful of syrup. He frowns as Wayne walks over.
d BIG RUSS
Naah, I was just looking for mine. They never miss lunch.
Wayne and Russ look at each other for a moment. They both turn away from each other and, trying their best to ignore each other, begin calling their children's names. They stop, waiting for each other to continue, A beat. When neither one begins calling again, each feels it's okay to continue. They both begin c•ll again in tandem.
The children continue to run breathlessly forward, shouting to their parents.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 51
The parents stand on either side of the fence, Mae continues to water her garden.
Wayne and Diane walk back towards the house.
Mae finishes watering her lawn. She turns off the nozzle of 1" ~\ the house and glances at the Szalinski's backyard. It's almost ·~ all yellow, ·•......,.....'
She turns the nozzle back on and sends a spray of water over the fence and into the yard.
Russ and Nick slowly sit up, dazed. As they do so, THEY NOTICE THE BEE SHAKE ITSELF AWAKEAS WELL. THE BEE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY. IT SPOTS THE TWO BOYS. WINGS BUZZING OMINOUSLY, IT BEGINS TO ADVANCE.
The boys start to run from the bee. THE BEE SPRINGS FORWARD IN AN INCREDIBLY FAST MOTION. IT LOOKS LIKE IT WILL BE ATOP THE BOYS IN A MATTEROF SECONDS.
The boys seemed doomed when, WITHOUTWARNING, THE BEE IS K.O. 'S BY A TITANIC DROPLET OF WATER. The two boys stop, puzzled.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 52
() NICK •..___.-.,,, Are we safe?
Suddenly, TITANIC DROPLETSOF WATER BEGIN FALLING ALL AROUND THEM. WITHIN SECONDS, THE GROUNDBENEATH THEIR FEET TURNSTO MUSH. THE YARDIS SLOWLY FILLING UP WITH WATER.
Russ shinnies up a blade of grass, pulling Nick up behind him, AS THE YARDSLOWLY FILLS WITH WATER.
We see Mae, humming merrily, hosing down the lawn iri earnest •.
Amy and the twins walk through the twisted terrain.
~ \,,,_ j RON/DON
Russ?
A ROARINGNOISE sends the ground beneath them trembling.
They turn and see a CASCADINGWALLOF WATER HEADINGFOR THEM.
The three children run for their lives AS THE WALLOF WATER APPROACHESTHEM. THERE'S NO ESCAPE. THEY RUN BREATHLESSLESSY AS THE SUDDENFLOODSMASHES THROUGH THE GRASSANDTWIGS.
Ahead of them lies a gigantic pop bottle cap. Amy vaults into the cap, turns, and yanks the two small boys inside by their belts AS THE WATERCATCHES UP WITH THEM. BEFORETHEYKNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING,THEYARE SENT FOR A SPIRALING WHITEWATER RAPIDS RIDE. THE BOTTLECAP SPINS MADLY AS THE WATER RUSHESTHROUGH THE YARD. The three children cling to its side as it bumps and zig-zags through the raging river, like a waterborne tilt-a-whirl car.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 53
IN THE HURRICANE CAUSED BY THE FLOOD, RUSS ANDNICK CLING TO THE GRASSBLADE. THE WATER RAGESBELOW THEM. NICK BEGINS TO SLIP.
Russ bends down and grabs Nick by the back of his shirt just •s the little boy begins to £all into the water~ Russ grimaces, Nick's struggling body causing him to slide down the grass blade. The grass blade is being buffeted by the raging river. The two boys are getting closer to the water when •••
THE SODABOTTLECAP GOES CAREENINGDOWN THE RIVER TOWARDS RUSS ANDNICK. The twins hold on for dear life as the cap barrels towards the grass blade.
THE BOTTLECAP PASSES BENEATH THE BLADEOF GRASS. RUSS DROPS NICK INTO THE CAP AND, THEN, JUMPS FEET-FIRST INTO THE CAP.
NICK LANDSWITH A THUD, ROLLINGINTO AMY'S ARMS. RUSS LANDS STANDING.IT LOOKSAS IF HE'S ABOUT TO LOSE HIS BALANCEWHEN A HANDAPPEARS. RUSS GRABSIT ANDIS TOSSED ONTOTHE FLOOROF THE CAP. HE FINDS HIMSELF HOLDINGHANDSWITH AMY. HE QUICKLYDISENGAGES HIMSELF ANDCLINGS TO THE SIDE OF THE CAP AS IT CONTINUES TO SPIRAL IN THE RIVER.
Mae, quite pleased with his act of kindness, shuts off the hose and leaves the yard.
The cap goes crashing into a riverbank as the flood waters recede. The children tumble, gasping from the cap. They collapse 6n the "riverbed," exhausted. Amy hugs Nick. The twins kneel next to Russ.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 54
Nick sits up, laughing. He puts his arm around Russ, facing the twins.
Russ staggers to his feet.
Amy smiles.
1··
DON
~
She's right. It's getting late.
The three young boys look at each other.
He turns to Nick.
The three boys sigh hungrily and look at each other sadly.
( The five kids begin their trek again. Don and Ron, forcing \. < themselves to act like scouts, begin singing "The Green i ' Grass Grew All Around" as they march. Nick joins in as \ '·-~~--,.. well. Russ and Amy smil~ at the trio:
------ ······----·-·-·····---··---- ---
THE TEENY-WEENIES 55
The three younger boys suddenly come to a stop. They gaze ahead, a look of wonder and pleasure on their faces.
There, before them, illuminated by an almost religiously inspired stream of sunlight is a titanic oreo cookie. Soggy from the "rainstorm," the cookie glistens magically like a cream-filled rainbow.
Ron is profoundly moved. The sunlight caresses the oreo magically.
The kids run forward to the cookie. They reach it and begin tearing out handfuls of white cream filling.
Don looks up, horrified.
OVER THE TOP OF THE COOKIE APPEARS AN ARMYOF ANTENNAE, TWITCHING OMINOUSLY.
The children dart behind the cover of grass as A HORDEOF TITANIC ANTS THUNDEROVER THE TOP. THE ANTS SWARM OVER THE MASSIVE OREO, DISMANTLINGIT WITH EASE.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 56
(~ RON (whispering) '·
What pigs!
THE ANTS BEGIN CARRYINGLARGEWADS OF THE COOKIEOFF IN THEIR MANDIBLES.
/ RON
They're only bugs. I squash them all the time.
THE ARMY OF ANTS CONSUMES THE COOKIE. THEYMARCH OFF, CARRYING LARGECRUMBS OF IT. LEAVINGLAST, CARRYING A ' BIII!G PIECE, IS A BABYANT. IT STRUGGLESWITH THE BOULDER-
SIZED WAD OF CHOCOLATE. IT DROPS IT. PICKS IT UP. TRIES PUSHING IT. THE LITTLE ANT IS DETERMINEDTO MOVETHIS CRUMB. IT DOESN'T CAREHOWBIG THE CRUMB IS.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 57
Ron tears off a stiff piece of grass and fashions it into a spear. He looks at Don. Don sighs, shakes his head and does the same,
THE TWINS CHARGE THE ANT, WHOOPINGLIKE INDIANS, SWINGING THEIR "STICKS" OVER THEIR HEADS. THE LITTLE ANT, PANICKING, DROPS THE CRUMB. IT BEGINS TO RUN AFTER THE RETREATING COLONY. \ .......!--; \ .....,_ .../The rest of the k~ds run through the soggy terrain towards the twins.
RON RUNS UP TO THE ANT AND DIVES ON ITS BACK, COWBOYSTYLE, WHOOPING.
The rest of the kids run up to Don. At first, they all laugh at the sight of Ron, CLINGING TO THE ANT'S BACK. It's great sport.
Don JUMPS ONTOTHE BACKOF THE ANT AS WELL, THE TWINS WHOOP LOUDLY AS THE ANT CAREENSAROUND THE CLEARINGIN CIRCLES.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 58
(,,---,...\ \'"~- •• ~.--✓/ LITTLE RUSS
Okay, Enough fun. Pull him over.
ON THE ANT, RON AND DON EXCHANGE GLANCES.
Each one of the twins grab an antennae and try to yank the ant in one direction or the other. It doesn't work. They ·glance meaningfully at each other before turning towards the rest of the kids.
The kids watch helplessly as the twins' ANT SKITTERS AROUND THE CLEARING.
/ \ RON
I'm not! I'm not!
\ ..,)
Russ and Nick charge the ant and try to grab ahold of it, brahma bull wrestler style. The ant easily out maneuvers them. They dive and miss, hitting the muddy dirt with a thud, Nick is slow to get up, Russ grabs the ant by the neck and is carried along, heels dragging on the ground. He is shaken of.£ and falls at Amy's feet.
Russ glances around, looking for some way to help. He picks up one of the twin's spears. Amy looks at the spear, reaches over and bends it easily. She looks at THE RAMPAGING ANT. The spear isn't going to work. Amy spots the fallen crumb and runs towards it.
THE ANT CONTINUES TO REEL AROUND. Amy takes a wad of cookie in her hand and walks directly in front of the charging ant. Nick, still sitting dazed in the dirt, is horrified. He is coughing and wheezing.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 59
Amy swallows hard and holds her ground. The ant goes skidding to a stop. The twins go tumbling from its back. The ant slowly approaches Amy, antennae twitching. Amy gazes into the face of the little ant, She crinkles her nose. It's repulsive. The ant calmly walks over and gently removes the small pliece of crumb from her hand. It munches on it merrily. ·
Little Russ walks up to the ant and slips a grass lariet around its neck. The ant, munching merrily, allows it.
~he twins are both dizzy. They stagger up to Amy.
The kids WATCHTHE ANT MUNCH THE CRUMB.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 60
(; AMY
I have an idea.
AMY, DON, RUSS ANDNICK ARE BEING PULLEDON AN INDIAN-STYLE SLED ATTACHEDTO THE ANT. THE SLED HAS BEEN CONSTRUCTED FROMBITS OF GRASS ANDFLOWER STEMS. RON IS ON THE ANT'S BACK, WEARINGA FLOWER LEAF AROUND HIS HEADLIKE A TURBAN, HOLDINGA STICK WITH AN OREOCRUMB AFFIXED TO THE END. THE CRUMBIS DANGLING IN FRONTOF THE ANT'S HEAD. The kids are singing "And The Green Grass Grew All Around" while munching smaller crumbs.
RON TILTS THE STICK TO THE LEFT SIDE OF THE ANT'S HEAD. THE ANT GOES FOR THE FOOD. IT'S THE OLD CARROTON THE STICK PLOY. THE ANT VEERS LEFT, RON SMILES HAPPILY.
He turns toAmy,
Ron gives an impromptu yell. He holds the stick directly in front of the ant. The ant plows forward.
A patrol car sits outside the two homes. There's an officer interviewing Big Russ and Mae at the front door.
At the Johnson's, a cop is furiously taking notes as he interviews the parents.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 61
Big Russ "shhhhh"s her.
/ COP
Did you have an argument with your son
c_~.J this morning, Mr. Johnson?
Russ kicks his foot forward. He hits a lawn jockey, sending its head tumbling into space. THe cop looks at him impassively.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 62
Wayne and Diane show a second cop to the front door. They are hand in hand.
COP #2 Okay, folks. We'll tell all our patrol cars to be on the lookout for two kids and a couch.
COP #2 Right. We'll check in with you tomorrow.
The cop leaves the parents. Wayne makes a move to go inside. Diane, glancing at the Johnson's home, where the first cop is leaving, walks out of the front door.
Wayne goes inside. ~iane walks over to the Johnson front porch where Mae watches the patrol car drive off.
Mae looks up at Diane and smiles sadly.
Diane cocks her head inquisitively.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 63
/J ..--.. ..\ I , \, __J MAE
Well, for better or for worse, right?
Wayne is tethering a barking Quark to a long leash in the kitchen as Diane enters.
/ through the window and hit my machine and •••
Their eyes meet.
They trot upstairs to the attic.
Wayne picks up the ball. He tosses it to Diane. She looks at it. It has a burn mark on it.
Wayne inspects the machine.
\_____.,,,. )
THE TEENY-WEENIES 64
Wayne is onto something. He gets down on his knees.
He crawls around the floor in an exaggerated, careful manner ••• as if his arms and legs were made of rubber,
He gingerly picks up a teen-weeny piece of debris. He holds it in the palm of his hand. He looks at the machine. At first, he is elated. Then, the reality of the situation hits him.
Then, soberly.
WAYNE
\ My god. It works.
He stands and, like an Indian rubber man trying to levitate off the ground, carefully walks over to Diane on his tip-toes.
In his hand is a tiny, perfectly intact, beige couch. It's smaller than a button.
Diane stares at him, dumbfounded.
They both get down on their hands and knees.
They begin crawling, trying as hard as possible not to
THE TEENY-WEENIES 65
I \ \ ; touch the floor, across the room. They sort of look like ',. __.,.,.,/ Marcel Marceau impersonating a tarantula.
After a moment of creepy-crawling, Wayne focuses on the dustpan leaning against the wall. He leaps to his feet. Diane gasps.
He runs out of the room. Diane follows him, taking veeerrry long, bouyant steps.
They run downstairs.
In the gathering darkness of early evening, Diane and Wayne carefully go through the trash, using a large flashlight, the magnifying glass and tweezers.
Big Russ Johnson sneaks out into his backyard and leans against the fence. He reaches urider his hat and produces a cigarette. He lights up and takes a deep breath. He then notices Wayne and Diane, They don't spot Big Russ, however. He sees the neighbors whisp•ring into the large trashbags as they tweeze their way through the gunk.
Big Russ gapes at them, straining his •ars to hear what they're saying. He can't hear a word.
Wayne spots a hole in the side of the bag. He shines the flashlight on it.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 66
He trains the flashlight on the ground.
He stops mid-sentence, a terrified look on his face.
Russ still strains his ears to hear. No dice.
Wayne points to several Hefty bags in the corner ofthe yard.
Wayne and Diane undo the bags and begin sifting throughthe grass collected in them.
Big Russ takes a deep puff.
The kids continue to slog onward through the soggy yard. The ant is growing weary. Ron removes the crumb from in front of the ant.
The kids tumble from the sled. They tether the ant and the
THE TEENY-WEENIES 67
antmobile to a stalk of grass.
Ron seems really depressed. Amy puts an arm around him.
The kids are now sitting, despairing. Amy refuses to be beaten.
We see that the kids are sitting near the fence. Big Russ, above, is still smoking, watching Wayne and Diane in the back of the yard. He casually flicks the ashes off his cigarette.
Suddenly, the air is filled with a hissing sound.
FLAKESOF MOLTEN ASH THE SIZE OF AUTOTIRES BEGIN DRIFTING DOWN AROUNDTHEM, SIZZLING INTO THE SOGGY GROUND.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 68
(~ The kids run off. \. j
Big Russ continues to flick his ashes.
The kids huddle together. THE ASHES ARE RAINING DOWN HEAVIER, NOW.
Ron and Don are huddled under one leaf when a WADOF ASH LANDS ONTOP OF IT, BURNING A HOLE THROUGHIT. Don takes off screen left. Ron runs to screen right, the CAMERAfollowing him.
He runs blindly into the forest. He skids into a small pond of horrible goo. He sinks up to his waist. The puddle is covered with THE BODIES OF LARGE, DEAD FLIES.
Ron begins to struggle helplessly in the mire. The other kids dart out from behind their cover and run to the edge of the pond of goo. ASHES CONTINUE TO FALL.
Ron struggles, glancing around him. He lifts up a hand and puts it to his mouth. He tastes the goop.
He squirms around, singing further into the mush.
Don tries to stick his arm towards his brother. It won't reach. He almost topples into the pond himself. Nick grabs his legs and pulls him back •. THE ASHES STILL FALL.
---- ---- -· ·-· .. ·--------····
THE TEENY-WEENIES 69
/~. Ron lies in the syrup, He is slowly sinking, His teeth are '\ ......) chattering, He is beginning to sob; breathless little boy- terrified gasps,
He slowly turns his head to the left. The body of a half-dead I fly floats, half-submerged, in the goop. The fly is still ~· buzzing half-heartedly, Ron is really scared. He turns his ' head away from the fly and looks at something else. Anything else.
The kids are tearing at grass fibers, tying them together.
Big Russ inhales on his cigarette, still watching the Szalinskis. He takes one, last puff before tossing the cigarette into the Szalinski yard and moving closer to Wayne and Diane for a better look.
Down below, the kids are trying to toss their newly-made rope towards Ron, They keep on falling short of their mark,
Nick peels a strand of grass off a stalk, A ROARING, WHOOSHINGNOISE REVERBERATES ALL AROUND THEM.
The kids take off in every direction as THE GLOWING, SMOLDERING CIGARETTE BUTT SLICES THROUGHTHE AIR. IT LANDS IN THE SYRUP, STILL BURNING, A TOBACCOMETEORITE.
THE UNLIT SECTION OF THE CIGARETTE BUTT LANDS NEXT TO RON. THE CIGARETTE IS SLOWLYBURNING DOWNTOWARDS HIM. HE'LL BE BURNEDTO DEATH WITHIN MINUTES.
He begins to struggle. He sinks further. The kids run forward, trying to shield themselves from the heat.
The kids pick up a stick and move to the edge of the syrup pool. They extend the stick, trying to prod the butt away from the petrified Ron. The stick doesn't reach.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 70
PART OF THE CIGARETTEASH FALLS OFF THE BUTT WITH A ROAR, LANDINGIN THE SYRUP NEARTHE KIDS. The kids back off, holding their hands in front of their faces AS THE ASHES SIZZLE INTO THE SYRUP. RON WATCHES,HORRIFIED, AS A WADOF HOT ASH FALLS ON THE TRAPPEDFLY, SIZZLING IT AS THE INSECT SINKS BENEATHTHE SURFACEOF THE GOOP.
Nick .stares at Ron. He slowly backs away from the scene, seemingly horrified. He turns and runs full-tilt back into the forest. Amy notices but is concentrating too much on Ron's safety to act.
Ron spots Nick running off.
The.children continue to try to get nearer to Ron. They hear a crunching sound behind them. THEY TURN AND SEE THE LITTLE ANT CHARGING FORWARD,NICK ON ITS BACK. NICK IS HOLDINGA COOKIE CRUMBSUSPENDEDFROMA STICK BEFORETHE ANT'S FACE.
Nick leads the ant to the edge of the bog. He slides off the ant, takes the crumb and tosses it to Ron.
Ron reaches for the soggy oreo fragment and ensnares it. A glimmer of hope plays across his face.
He turns to the ant.
THE ANT EXTENDSITS ANTENNAE.IT HONESIN ON THE OREO CRUMB. THE CIGARETTECONTINUESTO SMOLDER.THE FIRE IS GETTING CLOSERTO RON.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 71
THE ANT CLIMBS UP A STALKOF GRASSTO THE EDGE. THE GRASS SLOWLY BOWSDOWNWARD UNDERITS WEIGHT. THE ANT EXTENDSITS ANTENNAE TOWARDS THE CRUMB IN RON'S HAND. THE CIGARETTE BURNSDOWN LOWER ANDLOWER,CLOSERANDCLOSER.
Ron drops the crumb in the syrup. The kids gasp as it disappears beneath the goop. Ron looks helplessly up at the ant. THE ANT TWITCHESITS ANTENNAE. IT CAN'T SENSE THE CRUMB ANYMORE.
THE ANT WAITS A BEAT. IT DOESN'T RETREAT. IT CONTINUESTO STANDFIRM. RON REACHESUP ANDGRABSAHOLD OF ONE OF THE ANTENNAE. THE ANT SLOWLY BACKSDOWN THE GRASS BLADE, HOISTING RON UP ANDOUT OF THE SYRUPTO SAFETY. THE CIGARETTEBURNSDOWN TO THE SYRUPWITH A HISS.
The kids run up to Ron, Don stares at the ant.
He stares at the ant, The kids· take turns patting the ant.
Russ and Amy approach the ant. Amy extends a hesitant hand towards the "bug." She pets it. It twitches its antennae.·
THE ANT MARCHESOFF. IT TURNSONC, LAST TIME TOWARDS THE KIDS, ITS ANTENNAETWITCHING.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 72
THE ANT SHAMBLESOFF INTO THE FOREST,
Ron grins at Nick. Nick offers a shy smile.
Meanwhile, Wayne and Diane continue sifting through the bags of grass. They find nothing. They look at each other sadly. There's a noise behind them. They turn and train the flashlight at the garbage. Cicero the cat sits there, a piece of discarded, egg-stained toast in its mouth. Diane gasps. The cat takes the toast and runs off. Wayne sighs.
Suddenly, the last bag is illuminated by a bright light from behind them. Big Russ stands at the fence with a Kong-sized flashlight.
Diane and Wayne exchange guilty looks.
r--
THE TEENY-WEENIES 73
Ron, covered with syrup, walks over to a puddle of sprinkler water.
Don steps into the puddle and begins splashing his brother. Amy and Russ begin doing the. same.
- ' \:.=_::)
Nick wanders off. THE CAMERAfollows him. He comes to a halt, smiling.
The kids trot over to Nick.
Stretching before Nick are a few, Stonehenge-sized monolithic structures.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 74
The kids wander up to the titanic plastic blocks. They are square with station-wagon-sized round indentations on the back.
Nick s·i ts in one of the round indentations.
The twins climb into two ajoining round spots.
Russ and Amy walk over to another Lego. They sit on the square end of one. They are both exhausted. They gaze up into a picture perfect, clear sky. A full moon shines down on them, illumi-nating the area in a magical, blue glow.
He stifles a yawn. Amy continues to gaze at the sky.
Russ nods. He looks at Amy, smiling shyly.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 75
/ . ·. He suddenly turns and gives her a peck on the cheek. She turns v towards him and gives him a brief, but tender, first kiss,
We see the tiny kids illuminated from above by the pale blue light of a full moon, The CAMERAslowly moves up and away from them, taking the whole, titanic yard into view,
Big Russ stands next to Wayne and Diane at the machi~e.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 76
Wayne gulps and sighs and blurts it out.
Big Russ begins to laugh. He looks at Diane. She's not laughing. He looks at Wayne. Wayne slowly shakes his head "yes."
Diane places the tiny couch in Big Russ' hand.
Russ slowly lifts the hat from his head, He is inundated by \ :....,__,__/)a shower of cigarettes. He gazes at ·his hat nervously.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 77
Wayne gets the machine humming. Big Russ gingerly places the cap on the pedestal in front of the metal wall.
Wayne activates the machine. BOTH BEAMS SKITTER ACROSS THE ROOM. Big Russ is not impressed.
Diane and Big Russ watch AS THE TWO BEAMSHONE IN ON THE CAP. THE CAP SHIMMERS. QUIVERS. FINALLY, IT EXPLODES, SENDING BITS AND PIECES OF CHARREDMATERIAL EVERYWHERE. Diane gasps in horror. Wayne is perplexed. Big Russ is stunned.
WAYNE
\ \ _____) I don't understand it. It must have
worked before ••••
He makes a move to strangle Wayne. Wayne, ignoring lunging Big Russ, walks over to the cap fragments.
Diane gasps.
He makes a move to stalk out of the room. He glances nervously at the floor and tip-toes carefully out, staring this way and that at the floor.
___ _
THE TEENY-WEENIES 78
Wayne stares at the machine sadly.
Diane gently walks up to him and puts his arm around him. She gives him a gentle squeeze.
Wayne nods "yes," and the two leave the attic.
Wayne sits at the kitchen table, a half-filled glass of milk before him. Wayne fingers the magnifying glass absent-minded- ly. Diane toys with the flashlight. Wayne smiles sadly.
Wayne places the magnifying glass softly on the table top. Diane lays down the flashlight. They sit in silence for a long minute. Tears begin to roll down Diane's face. Wayne pulls his chair next to hers and puts a protective arm around her. He knocks over a salt shaker in the process.
Diane places her head against his chest· and cries. Wayne swallows hard, wipes a single tear from one eye and hugs her closer.
Silence. Still tethered next to his dog bed, Quark sighs.
EXT, YARD, NIGHT
We see the light from the kitchen window. WE SLOWLYMOVE AWAYFROM THE WINDOW AND SEE IT LOOMINGOVER THE SILHOUETTES OF THE LEGO VILLAGE WHERETHE CHILDREN LAY SLEEPING.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 79
The scene gradually brightens. Morning has come. We now see that the children have made it all the way to the yard's edge. They are nestled in the Lego toys that Nick had dropped there the day before. In the background, the Szalinski home stands, as tall as a glacier.
Russ wakes up first, He stretches, yawns, opens his eyes and turn around.
Amy turns. They are only yards away from the house. She squeals with delight and gives Russ a big hug.
The three younger children wake up, lazily.
Nick spots the house and grins.
The kids run to the end of the yard. They run towards the first step leading to the back door.
They slow their pace and gradually come to a halt. Their faces are glum.
BEFORE THEM STANDS THE BIGGEST STEP IN HISTORY. A STRUCTURE AS BIG AS A CITY ·HALL.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 80
He frantically looks around for something to scale the step with. He finds a small twig. He places it against the step like a ladder. It's pathetically small, like placing a step- ladder against a skyscraper.
The rest of the children look on nervously.
Amy's lower lip begins to quiver. Russ tries to cheer her up.
Tears begin to dribble, silently, down Amy's face.
The twins and Nick exchange frightened glances. This is the first time Amy has really acted like a (gasp) girl. Nick approaches her. He kneels next to her.
,,,,.... the odds are against us, so what?
People beat the odds all the time, right?
Amy sniffs and nods, only half believing.
Nick stands up suddenly. He stares at the door and smiles. He has an idea. Placing two fingers in his mouth, he emits a shrill whistle. He's winded after one try. Wheeze. Wheeze .•
THE TEENY-WEENIES 81
He puffs out his little chest again and lets out a second, shrill blast.
In the kitchen, Wayne and Diane are sound asleep at the table. Quark is still tethered. He hears a very faint, very familiar whistle. His ears perk up. It's Nick. Quark begins to whine and pull at the leash. He can't get out. Another whistle. He gnaws at his leash. It's too thick.
Nick's face is now beet red. He whistles again.
Russ and the twins exchange glances. They shrug. They begin / whistling and shouting.
IN.T. KITCHEN, DAY
Quark stops gnawing at his leash. He turns himself around and slowly pulls himself, backwards, out of his dog collar. He runs for the swinging door leading outside. He can't budge it. He pushes and pushes and pushes again. The kids outside are still whistling and yelling. Quark pushes. No dice. Finally, Quark backs up waaaay across the kitchen and charges the door. He hurls himself onto its surface. The door flies open, staying in that position.
( . '; The kids scatter as Quark goes tumbling down the stairs. ·,-..,,,_~--_:;JQuark gets to his feet and stands, puzzled. We watch the dog's startled expression as he registers tiny, invisible
THE TEENY-WEENIES 82
voices all around him.
Quark turns this way and that, trying to find his masters. Finally, he zeroes in on the source of the sound. He cautiously approaches a spot on the ground. He stares at the teeny-weeny youngsters. He lets out a small whimper.
Quark does a "say what?" take.
\._:~) Quark begins to sniff at the kids. They are almost sucked up his nostrils.
Quark does as he is told.
The dog whimpers slightly as the barely larger-than-flea sized kids climb up his ear and onto the back of his head.
The kids hold onto Quark's head.
LITTLE RUSS
) Everybody on?
THE TEENY-WEENIES 83
Quark gets to his feet.
Instinctively, Quark sits down and, with his rear leg, scratches his head as if he were in pursuit of fleas.
The kids hang on for dear life as the skin beneath them shimmies and a large paw rakes the surface behind them.
The dog whimpers and stops scratching. Quark stands up.
Quark takes the ~ir•t step and stops. He turns to the right. The Johnson's cat is there, hissing. Quark growls.
Quark looks as if he's going to chase Cicero. The cat is bigger than the dog, however, and lunges after the tiny canine. Quark, panicked, takes off. He runs to the back of the
THE TEENY-WEENIES 84
yard, Cicero in pursuit.
Quark hits the trash bags and wriggles under the fence. The cat chasing him.
The kids yell as Quark takes them on a wild ride.
Quark darts into the street. He's a yard dog and totally panics when outside his turf. As soon as Quark darts into the street, Cicero skids to a stop, curbside, and watches wide- eyed as the dog skitters around in traffic. Quark zig-zags up and down the street, in and out of traffic, yelping.
The kids scream as titanic cars and people pass them by. Horns blare. Tires screech. People yell, It's like being caught on an out-of-control plane zipping through the canyons of New York City.
We see a titanic car bearing down on the dog from one side. Little Russ spins around and points. There's a car approaching from the other side, too.
We see Quark, paralyzed with fear, as the two cars come speeding towards him from both sides. The dog doesn't move. Quark lays down in the street and closes his eyes.
The kids dive down on Quark's head as deafening screeches and horns shake the sky. They close their eyes. CRAASSSHHHHH!
Quark opens his eyes and gets up. The two cars have crashed and are suspended, pyramid style, above him. The two drivers are screaming at each other from inside the car. Quark trots away. He passes by the amazed Cicero with a "snort."
THE TEENY-WEENIES 85
Quark squeezes under the fence into the backyard and leaps up the steps leading to the back door.
Quark skids into the kitchen.
Quark trots over to the sleeping Wayne's leg. He nuzzles the leg and whines. Wayne snores a bit and, still asleep, swats his leg with his hand. The kids yelp as Quark backs up.
(, ) ..........
Wayne and Diane continue to sleep. Quark stands before them, puzzled.
The little dog cocks its head and, obediently, stands on its hind legs, trying to get up on the table. He's too short.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 86
(~ : I EXT. DOG, DAY \ ·, ....---~J
The kids are sliding off his head.
The dog's head straightens as he slides off the table leg. Russ scans the room.
He points to the shorter, more accessable sewing stool, standing less than a foot from the kitchen table.
/ Qua~k trots over to the table.
The kids leap off the dog and stand on the table. The kitchen table looms before them, a mammoth chasm separating the two pi~ces of furniture.
Ron points to a thimble, four times his size.
Russ roams around the sewing table. Even the regular-sized needles are titanic. He comes across a small, portable sewing ~,..,,_ ____,,.) kit: the kind you buy in a five and dime store or get for free in a hotel. It consists of a small envelope, a few tiny but-
THE TEENY-WEENIES 87
tons and needles 1/4 the size of your everyday, household needles.
Russ picks up one of the small needles by one end. It's far too big to throw.
He begins prowling around again, All the kids do. Nick trips over a small rubber band. Russ grins.
Ron grabs the rubber band.
Russ takes a small spool of thread and places a strand of thread through the needle. He hooks one end of the thread to a splinter in the table-top, anchoring it. He then makes sure that the spool holding the rest of the thread is jammed tightly down on a large needle stuck into a pin cushion in the sewing kit.
Little Russ points to the way the needle is threaded.
Russ walks up to the rubber band, puzzling over it. He tries to stretch it between the points of a scissor. It pops off.
He takes a small spool of thread and rolls it on its side in front of the rubber band. The kids take the rubber band and
THE TEENY-WEENIES 88
\. / stretch it around the spool. Russ takes the needle and places it inside the round cylinder.
The kids hold the side of the spool. Russ grabs the end of the needle, places it against the rubber band strung around the spool and, slowly, pulls the needle back. Further. Further. Finally, it's 75% out of the cannon muzzle.
He peeks through the "spool barrel" of the cannon. The other kids take their places on either side of the spool.
He peeks through the "spool barrel" of the cannon. The other kids take their places on either side of the spool.
The kids push the spool.
He lets the needle go.
The rubber band recoils with a spronnnng. The needle soars towards the table, the spool of thread it's affixed to whirling madly.
The needle goes sailing past Wayne and winds up embedding itself in an orange resting in a fruit dish in the middle of the table. Sploosh.
The kids stare at the far off orange.
They tug on the thread, trying to dislodge the needle from the orange. It won't budget. As one, the children stop yanking on the thread.
r • • , ~~~///-'".'~~'lA
(~ \
They gaze at the kitchen table. It's only one or two normal sized feet away but a good mile or so from the kids' point of view. Spanning the chasm between the sewing stool and the kitchen table are two strands of thread, hooked into the needle. Nick "twangs" the thread. It quivers but seems very, very solid.
Russ trots over to the spool of thread still attached to the needle. He pulls the thread taut around another needle, causing the newly formed rope bridge to tighten. He then walks over to the edge of the sewing table.
Ron looks at the linoleum floor miles below them.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 90
(~\ I \ .,/ Ron and Don pat Nick on the back.
Russ looks at the double stranded rope bridge before them.
He gets on the rope bridge, grabbing the top strand of the thread with his hands and sliding his feet onto the bottom strand.
The kids nod. They're scared stiff.
Amy gets on the rope bridge next. Her knees almost buckle as the botiom strand wiggles under her weight.
The twins are next on. Ron gulps, looks down at the dizzy view, grits his teeth and climbs on. Don takes a deep breath and does the same.·
Nick stands on the edge of the table. He gapes at th~ floor far below and, then, at the kitchen table standing, tow- ering, at the other end of the bridge. He glances at Quark.
Quark cocks his head, flattens his ears and whines.
Nick takes a deep breath and gets on the bridge. He shuts his eyes for a moment and exhales.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 91
'\ ( ) INT. KITCHEN, DAY ',, .........-
The thread wobbles constantly as the teeny-weenies slowly inch their way across the rope bridge.
The kids begin to chant "slow and steady" as they rhythmically work their way across the bridge. The bridge begins to tilt upwards towards the table top. THE CAMERA slowly pans across the frightened faces of the children as they chant and begin the trek upwards for the last fifteen inches or so •••
We see a slight tug on the thread attached to the needle. The needle, still embedded in the orange, begins to jiggle slightly.
Wayne and Diane sit, sleeping at the table.
Quark sits in the corner, amazed at the goings on.
Still chanting "slow and steady," the kids continue their crossing. Suddenly, Amy loses her footing. She shrieks, her feet dangling in the air.
She desperately tries to get her feet back on the bottom strand of thread. Her lack of balance causes the other kids to sway dangerously on the thread. The kids shout as they try to steady themselves. Slowly, Amy regains her footing.
/ \ \ The thread suddenly begins to quiver.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 92
On the table top, we see that the needle-anchor is beginning to work itself loose from the orange in a big way. Each twinge on the thread caused by the kids' feet and hands is making the needle wriggle more.
The kids are pulling themselves upward for their lives. They are a mere inch or two from the table top. The thread is jiggling madly now,
Nick can't speak. He's wheezing, now, pulling his own weight furiously, He begins to gasp. The other kids turn and stare as Niek launches into a full tilt asthma attack. He desperately reaches into his pocket for his inhaler. He produces it but it tumbles out of his hand, tumbling towards the floor far below. He is gasping for breath, His face is red.
Russ turns towards him.
Nick begins breathing in and out, in and out, in and out. Gradually, he stops gasping.
Nick nods his head, He is scared stiff.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 93
() '•,-~..~--.,-The floor seems to sway below the children.
They continue to-climb.
The needle continues to wriggle.
Russ is within a hair of the table top when., ••
The pin sprongs loose from the orange. The needle begins to slide across the table.
Russ holds desperately onto the edge of the table as the thread go~s limp. The kids lose their footing and cling to the thread as it drops down like an elevator sans shaft.
The needle zips along the table top, c6ming to an abrupt halt as it hits the lip of the table and gets wedged in the formica. Russ climbs ontop of the table and grabs the thread.
Amy, Ron, Don and Nick cling to the thread. Russ begins to pull the thread taut, using every ounce of his strength.
Russ clings desperately to the thread, holding it as tightly as he can. He puts all his weight behind it.
On·the thread, the remaining children have to climb, hand over hand up the thread, wrapping their legs •round the lone, taut strand.
Amy gets to the top of the table and pulls herself up and over. She leans down and grabs Ron. She pulls Ron up. Russ holds the thread desperately. Ron pulls Don up.
Now, the only child remaining, danglin~ from the needle is Nick.
Ron and Don grab the thread and, with their brother, hold it taut. Amy grabs on and pulls back, trying to give Nick every advantage. Amy, the closest to the edge of the table,
THE TEENY-WEENIES 94
, '~, \ ', ____,/! gazes down at Nick, terrified. In spite of the tautness of the thread, she doesn't think the little boy will make it.
Russ and the twins nod "yes," straining. Amy, still holding the thread, calls down to Nick.
Nick stares at the table top above him.
Nick slowly, laboriously, begins to shinny up the taut thread. Hand over hand over hand. Knees wrapped tightly around the thread. Hand over hand. Knee up. Knee up.
Amy watches silently as Nick grimly cdntinues his ascent.
With the boys chanting for him to "make it," Nick pushes upward. His face is red with exhaustion. His forehead is a mass of sweat droplets. He climbs and climbs and, then, stops.
He is an inch away from the table top, the kids all cheering him on.
Nick gazes down at the floor below him.
The view is dizzying.
He sees Amy's worried face .above him. Taking a deep, wheezing breath, he begins to climb again. Finally, he makes it to the table top. Amy extends a hand and pulls him up and onto the top.
Don, Ron and Russ let the thread go and run towards little Nick. The needle becomes unstuck and zips by them and over the edge of the table. It tumbles, in seemingly slow motion, towards the floor below. The kids surround Nick.
THE TEENY~WEENIES 95
Russ winks at Nick. Nick shrugs.
The kids run across the vast expanse of the table and stand in front of the slumbering parents. They walk up to Wayne, whose head is on the table, and yell into his ear.
No response. THe sleeping parents still sit, mountain-like, in their chairs.
Nick gazes glumly at the table top. He sees the mound of salt Wayne has spilled the night before. He ga~es at it.
Nick turns to Ron and Don.
•.. ··~ NICK \ <......__ __,,,,,) When explorers get lost in the snow,
they make snow signs, right?
THE TEENY-WEENIES 96
He points to the salt.
The kids turn and focus on the mound of salt. Ron smiles, pointing to the abandoned magnifying glass.
Ron and Don and run to the salt mound and begin laboriously fashioning a large arrow leading to the magnifying glass,
Russ, Amy and Nick join in the construction of the arrow. The finished work is some three inches long, the arrow "head" pointing to the magnifying glass.
Once the arrow is finished, the kids all huddle beneath the magnifying glass.
Quark, hearing the tiny but distinct voice, wags his tail, He runs to the food bowl. There's no food there, The dog turns, puzzled, towards the table.
The dog begins to bark. Wayne stirs slightly. Quark begins to whine and bark again, circling his empty bowl. Wayne's eyes flutter.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 97
The kids watch Wayne slowly awaken.
The kids begin to dance and wave under the magnifying glass. Wayne wakes up and launches into his habitual morning sneezes. A sudden gale of wind blows across the table top.
The kids cling to each other as they are buffeted by the wind. Half of the salt arrow is blown away.
Wayne stretches.
He gets up to leave the table when Quark suddenly leaps onto his lap and, then, onto the table.
Wayne turns and is about to yell at the dog when he spots the remainder of the arrow and, then, the magnifying glass.
Wayne gapes at the dancing kids.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 98
Th~ kids continue to wave and yell. Diane leans down towards them.
She makes a move to grab the kids. They duck. Wayne restrains her.
She pulls her hand back.
He faces the kids, gently lifting up the magnifying glass.
The twins look at each other.
Amy hugs Russ.
Nick smiles, collapsing into a sitting position. Phew!
Wayne brings a spoon over to the table and sets it down next to the children.
Nick is the first one to leap into the spoon.
Russ and Amy share an amused grin and climb into the spoon.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 99
The twins follow with a whoop.
EXT, SPOON, DAY
Wayne carefully lifts the spoon.
He heads for the stairs leading up to the attic.
Quark leaps off the table and follows.
The dog wags its tail merrily.
In the attic, Wayne carefully places the spoon in the target area of the room while Diane holds Quark in her arms. A stricken Mae Johnson stands nervously next to her, linking her arm in Diane's. Big Russ is dumbfounded and, as usual, irate.
Wayne adjusts the computer, focusing it on the children.
/
THE TEENY-WEENIES 100
) He makes a move to turn on the machine. Big Russ tenses,
Wayne withdraws his arm.
The kids stare at each other, confused.
He then notices the twins' baseball still resting on the floor. He smiles.
He picks up the baseball and tosses it to Wayne. Wayne studies it. He gazes at the burn mark on the ball. He then makes some adjustments in the machinery.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 101
(; WAYNE ',.,._., ...
The machine uses two beams, a laser tracking beam and the actual shrinking beam. The tracking beam focuses the second beam on the target. The reason things have been blowing up instead of shrinking is that, when the beams collide, they generate too much heat. Yesterday, this ball must have blocked the tracking beam. The shrinking beam worked all on its own. Now, all I have to do is shut off the one beam •••
He throws the switch into "on" position again. THE MACHINE SPUTTERS TO LIFE. THE BEAMSGO SKITTERING THROUGH SPACE.
Wayne looks about. He realizes he still has the ball in his hand. He tosses the ball before the beams. THE BALL IS ZAPPED AND MINATURIZES. THE TINY BALL FALLS NEXT TO THE CHILDREN. Nick turns to Ron.
Big Russ is impressed. He turns to Mae.
THE MACHINEBEGINS TO HUM. THE ATTIC LIGHTS DIM AND FLICKERS.
THE PARTICLE BEAMSGO SKITTERING THROUGH SPACE, TOWARDSTHE FLOOR.
,,,.·- ·-,".THE KIDS BEGIN TO RUN AND JUMP, TRYING TO POSITION f I THEMSELVES IN THE SPOTS WHERETHE CRAZYRAYS WILL LAND. \ ',........ ~ ..../'
THE TEENY-WEENIES 102
,.,,.........._,_ ' \ ) KIDS
This way! No, over here! There it goes! Get it!
The parents watch, amazed, as the little kids hurl themselves into the beams. RUSS IS STRUCKBY ONE.
HE BEGINS TO GROW AND GROWAND GROW.
Big Russ' mouth drops open and Quark's ears flop straight back as RUSS GROWS FIVE FEET TALL. SIX FEET TALL. TEN FEET TALL. FIFTEEN FEET.
HIS HEAD CRACKSOUT OF THE ROOF OF THE ATTIC. HIS FEET, SUPPORTINGTHE TOO HEAVYWEIGHTOF HIS BODY, BREAKTHROUGH THE FLOOR.
Wayne begins tinkering happily with th~ machine.
RUSS REACHESDOWN AND PICKS UP HIS FATHER, HOLDINGHIM HIGH IN THE AIR.
LITTLE RUSS SMILES AND PLACES BIG RUSS GENTLYDOWNON THE FLOOR.
Big Russ wipes his brow. He faces, Mae, sweating. ' I \, ____,.)
THE TEENY-WEENIES 103
Wayne adjusts the machine. RUSS SHRINKS TO HIS NORMALSIZE AS THE OTHER CHILDREN GROWUP INTO THEIR NORMAL HEIGHTS.
Amy and Russ hug. Wayne and Diane rush towards their kids. Big Russ and Mae do the same. (The words come fast and furiously as emotional pandemonium reigns.)
Diane puts her arm around Wayne.
Wayne hugs his kids.
The twins stand, side by side, comparing heights. Ron is on his toes.
Big Russ and Little Russ stand, facing each other.
' \ j -~ Little Russ gives a startled Big Russ a hug.
THE TEENY-WEENIES 104
Wayne straightens up.
The parents look as each other, confused.
Later, at another science conference, we see Amy, Russ and Nick speaking before ·a large gathering of scientists. Nick is holding Quark. ·
Wayne smiles and steps up to the podium.
He is nearly laughed out of the hall. Dr. Frederickson leads the jeering.
(_) The crowd continues to laugh. In the audience, Dr. Brainard looks concerned. Wayne waits for the hooting to die down. He glances at Diane, in the audience. She's sitting next to
THE TEENY-WEENIES 105
Mae and a very, very smug Big Russ (wearing a brand new Olympian cap).
He smiles and exchanges knowing glances with the three children on the stage. ·
Puzzled, Frederickson moves towards the doors. He swaggers, actually, a know-it-all in control. The doors burst open and the twins gallop into the room on the back of their NOW-GIANTANT. RON HOLDS A FULL BAG OF OREOS'BEFORE THE EVER-HUNGRY INSECT. THE ANT CHASES FREDERICKSONAROUND THE ROOM.
The scientists gasp .and scatter. Big Russ stands, emitting a roaring laugh.
BIG _RUSS I love it. l love it!!!.
Dr. Frederickson is panting, horrified at the monster pursuing him.
In a corner, Dr. Brainard smiles whimsically. He casually li'ghts his pipe.
THE ANT SKITTERS ROUNDAND ROUNDTHE ROOM, CHASING FREDERICKSONAND THE OREOS.
Quark yipes from the stage, then jumps out of Nick's arms and begins chasing the ant~ barking at it. Diane and the Johnsons walk up to Wayne. Russ slaps him on the back. The / two men share a hearty laugh. /. \ THE ANT GALLOPS UP ONE WALL, ACROSS THE CEILING AND DOWN \_/ THE OPPOSITE WALL, THE TWINS WHOOPING, QUARKBARKING.
r··
THE TEENY-WEENIES 106 ;·l ) ,_____] The scientists continue to scramble. Frederickson continues to run for his life. QUARKCHASES THE ANT. THE ANT TURNS AND CURIOUSLY CHECKS OUT THE LITTLE DOG. QUARKTURNS TAIL AND RUNS AWAY, WHINING.
On the stage, Little Russ, Amy and Nick watch the scientists dodge and duck and Frederickson scream.
Amy and Russ nod, laughing.
Wayne and Diane stand, hand in hand, watching the scientists cower under their chairs.
THE TWINS, WHOOPINGLIKE WILD INDIANS, CONTINUE TO GALLOP AROUNDTHE ROOMON THEIR ANT. In the middle of the panedemonium, the Johnson family and the Szalinski family stand side by side. Friends. Neighbors.
The kind of just-plain-£,olks who live right down the street from you.
Well, almost.
/ '1 (~