"HEATHERS" (1988)

An Original Screenplay

FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT

Elegiac music murmurs as three female and barefoot PAIRS OF LEGS in skirts break from tableau to gently engage in Croquet. - A blue mallet hits a blue ball through a wicket, a green Mallet knocks a green ball, and a yellow mallet pushes forward a yellow ball, all in an enticing syncopation.

Suddenly a red ball rockets through the dew covered grass and hits the green ball. The LEGS all stop moving as a FOURTH PAIR OF LEGS, this one in stylish shoes and stockings, marches to the red ball and steps on it. A red mallet is brought down hard on the red ball causing the adjacent green ball to thunder out of view. The Pair of Legs manuevering the green ball departs. This process of elimination is grimly repeated with the yellow ball and yet again with the blue ball. |

However, when the BLUE MALLETED PLAYER makes her sad exit, the viewer's viewpoint glides along with this particular Pair of Legs. A red ball whizzes by. The Legs stop. Another red ball malevolently sails past the Legs. Then yet another red ball. A fourth red ball makes brutal contact with the Legs causing the Player to fall to her knees and into the frame. Thr Player is VERONICA SAWYER.

VERONICA SAWYER, a sullen seventeen year old beauty, lies atop her bed dressed in a chic but understated ensemble, her eyes glazed open in a morning reverie. She blows up at her bangs then slides off her bed, launching into voice-over narration over the empty bed.

Continuing her narration, VERONICA glides through a bustling — high school hallway with a frozen ‘smile.

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With her back turned to the viewer, VERONICA stands at the outskirts of the cafeteria entrance. The viewer's viewpoint approaches and.finally curls around VERONICA to reveal that she is writing in a diary, wearing a monocle.

THE DIARY PAGE

VERONICA'S pen sways across the diary page forming the words echoed by her voice-over.

A sudden off-screen bark from HEATHER MCNAMARA causes the pen to recklessly rocket across the written words.

_ HEATHER MCNAMARA {0.S.e) God, come on Veronica!

VERONICA coolly pops the monocle from her eye before angrily addressing theamusingly robust, conventionally beautiful, trendily coiffed HEATHER MCNAMARA.

From behind HEATHER MCNAMARA emerges a similarly trendily accessorized but noticeably more inhibited waif, HEATHER DUKE. She is clutching a tattered copy of "The Catcher in theRye."

A5

VERONICA, flanked by HEATHER MCNAMARA and HEATHER DUKE, strides into the lunchroom pandemonium.

(CONT.)

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The stunning HEATHER CHANDLER turns from the fray before her toward her incoming comrades. She is dressed stylishly and expensively but not trendily; her hair, dramatically tied back. °

el , VERONICA (submissively) Hello, Heather.

Pulling out a crumpled piece of yellow paper, HEATHER CHANDLER smiles. The content of what Heather says is consistently offensive but the tone in which she speaks issexy, danerous, and mysterious. She is a mythic bitch.

BS POV ON CAFETERIA LINE a BS

| i

Unattractive and quite overweight, MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK guiltily plops two jellos on her tray and clunks forward in line. ;

cs CAFETERIA ENTRANCE . C5"

VERONICA's arm, seemingly involuntarily, latches onto the outstretched pen.

Both HEATHER MCNAMARA and HEATHER DUKE bend over. HEATHER CHANDLER violently laughs.

How nice. Two assholes; no waiting.

HEATHER MCNAMARA and HEATHER DUKE stand erect, embarrassed.

| HEATHER CHANDLER - . . Heather Duke, back down.

VERONICA scurries to the contorting HEATHER DUKE.

“ HEATHER CHANDLER Dear Martha, you're so sweet..

DS THE JOCKS' TABLE D5

The traditionally handsome KURT KELLY and the massive RAM sit with other typical Jocks taking in VERONICA and the HEATHERS.

KURT and RAM raise their right arms and slam their fists together.

RAM makes a frantic spinning motion.©

E5 CAFETERIA ENTRANCE . , ES

In slow motion, VERONICA finishes the note and rises up along with her makeshift desk, HEATHER DUKE.

HEATHER MCNAMARA hawkishly gazes toward the cafeteria ‘Line. .

VERONICA hands the note to an impressed HEATHER CHANDLER.

MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK pays the CASHIER and then, grasping her lunch tray with both hands, moves toward VERONICA andthe HEATHERS. :

HEATHER MCNAMARA excitedly tugs on HEATHER CHANDLER'S arm as MARTHA approaches. With a tranquil smile, HEATHER CHANDLER passes the note to her frantic disciple.

fo” In a self-consciously clandestine manner, HEATHER MCNAMARA pa saunters past MARTHA then wields around to sneakily tuck the ey note onto MARTHA'S tray.

De

The slow motion concludes as their plump victim shuffles past a magnetic preppie PETER DAWSON and a thin, black, ee bespectacled DENNIS. The guys are working a large stand which eas, has a cashbox reading THE FOODLESS FUND and a banner reading WESTERBURG FEEDS THE WORLD.

“PETER Come on people, let's give that leftover lunch money to people without lunches! Those tater tots you threw away today are a delicacy in Africa! They're Thanksgiving dinner!

FS HEATHERS' TABLE — . FS

The Girls reach their table with HEATHER MCNAMARA and HEATHER DUKE sitting themselves down first.

’HEATHER CHANDLER draws up a clipboard.

G5 ANOTHER ANGLE GS

VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER briskly bop away from the table as a wounded HEATHER DUKE retreats to The Catcher in the Rye.

’ VERONICA Hey, this question wouldn't be that, bizarro thing you were babbling about over the phone last.e.e...

VERONICA shakes her head and looks off. She's suddenly captured by the sight of a JAMES DEANESQUE GUY sitting stark ina long, tan gunslinger coat, behind aRebel Without a Cause lunch box. They make eye contact.

Transfixed, VERONICA crashes into seated BETTY FINN, a Slightly overweight, unstylishly dressed, sweetiesurrounded by clones.

VERONICA crouches down, embarrassed and rueful.

VERONICA gently laughs at BETTY's innocent awe.

BETTY pulls from her purse a picture showing a YOUNG BETTY FINN AND VERONICA SAWYER, arm-in-arm, dressed in Halloween costumes: BETTY is an angel, VERONICA is a witch.

VERONICA glows at the photo until HEATHER CHANDLER tows VERONICA away causing the picture to fall face up on the floor.

HS ANOTHER ANGLE H5

pea VERONICA

I was talking with someone!

THE COUNTRY CLUB KIDS' TABLE

A coolly coed cabal of Country Club Kids icily eye the approaching VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER. Country Club kid COURTNEY sourly speaks out.

KEITH

I5 MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK'S TABLE I5

Alone at a table in the Siberia of the cafeteria, MARTHA finishes a forkful of chicken. She spears her plate again and -brings the fork up. The note is wedged inside it.

JS THE COUNTRY CLUB KIDS'TABLE J5

HEATHER CHANDLER, Veronica in tow, hits the Country Club Kids with a salvo of false pleasantness, capped by a scowling smile.

COURTNEY expresses elation in spite of herself as HEATHER CHANDLER delicately takes a tot and turns around to face VERONICA. HEATHER CHANDLER inserts her finger in her mouth doing the "induce-vomiting"” signal before devouring the tot and turning back around.

HEATHER CHANDLER raises her clipboard. VERONICA closes her eyes and shakes her head with a half-smile.

A stunned tableau; until Country Club Kid KEITH speaks.

| VERONICA “you're beautiful. =."°:

K5 THE FOODLESS FUND STAND ; eee KS

PETER reaches in the Foodless Fund Box and takes some bills.:

' L5 CAFETERIA THOROUGHFARE . Lé

HEATHER CHANDLER drags VERONICA down a cafeteria lane.

C) HEATHER CHANDLER e Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I

look like Mother Theresa? If I did, Iprobably wouldn't mind talking to the Geek Squad.

She points to a table of unfashionably dressed and coiffed students. Some wear glasses, some wear braces, some wear both.

MS THE GEEKS! TABLE MS

The GEEKS react to being pointed at. Their boney leader RODNEY splatters milk over himself.

N5 CAFETERIA THOROUGHFARE N5

VERONICA confronts HEATHER CHANDLER.

Doesn’ t it bother you that everyone in the school thinks you're a pirahna?

P5 MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK'S TABLE PS

Her sweaty lips moving rapidly, MARTHA anxiously reads the note.

Q5. THE GEEKS' TABLE Q5

The nervous GEEKS fidget and roughhouse each other in an involuntarily immature reaction to their beautiful interviewers.

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R5 ANOTHER ANGLE ; R5

VERONICA tugs HEATHER CHANDLER away from the table.

As HEATHER CHANDLER continues to guffaw, VERONICA again catches sight of the JAMES DEANESQUE GUY. Hewraps his fingers around an egg and unfolds them back. The egg is gone. He smiles. VERONICA smiles back.

Her trance is broken by a boisterous HEATHER MCNAMARA and HEATHER DUKE who careen into the two pollsters.

35 POV ON MARTHA * $5

MARTHA looks up from the note to the JOCKS" table and KURT KELLY, then flustered, back down at the note.

HEATHER CHANDLER floats off. A disturbed VERONICA takes:a moment to react.

VERONICA follows the leader. She calls out.

ll.

VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER march into the school parking ‘lot toward four HEAVY METALERS (one female) hanging out on a car hood. The girls’ conversation is heard in voice-over.

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VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER set themselves down with BETTY FINN and her LOOK~-ALIKEFRIENDS.

Seed peal Mee pene Gi NDE ER (co.

Look at me. I look great. I’mthe girl in the commercials and the videos.

B7 JOCKS' TABLE - | B7

VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER warily stand at the outskirts of the JOCKS’ bastion of vulgarity.

I'm the blonde in the bikini on the horse holding a Pepsi can.

_ INT. STONERS! HALLWAY <- DAY . 3

In a dark, smoky hallway, VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER cough toward a batch of STONERS in tattered forms of dress.

VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER accost PETER DAWSON at the Foodless Fund stand.

Heavy Metaler MATT grins.

ll INT. CAFETERIA =--BETTY FINN'S TABLE ~~ DAY 11 All Al BETTY FINN daintily peeps up.

Bll JOCKS' TABLE | Bl

RAM sputters out some chicken to bellow.

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I'd pay Madonna one million dollars to ride my face like the Kentucky Derby. She should be paying me, though.

A FEMALE STONER IN ARMY JACKET starts to speak, then staps...

FEMALE STONER IN ARMY JACKET What?

PETER DAWSON lashes out.

Heavy Metaler CLYDE turns from his friend MATT.

Two Heavy Metal lovers, JACKIE and STEVE, intertwined against the windshield blankly respond.

L5 INT. CAFETERIA THOROUGHFARE -- DAY 15 Al5 Al!

VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER continue their conversation chugging through another busy cafeteria lane.

| VERONICA Don't tell me. Crest would be stained with loserness.

HEATHER MCNAMARA and HEATHER DUKE burst back between them.

BAF ae ay tt “HEATHER MCNAMARA © Oh God, here WE GOoee

POV ON MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK | Bl

“MARTHA, with awkward apprehension, stumbles toward KURT and

the JOCKS. VERONICA and the HEATHERS stop breathing.

MARTHA mumbles something unintelligible from where the girls stand. KURT'S head detonates with a terrifying cackle. MARTHA flees the cafeteria in horror. VERONICA spins away from her mirthful friends in disgust and makes aye contact with the Similarly disturbed JAMES DEANESQUE GUY.

VERONICA lurches away. She brakes against the Foodless Fund stand where PETER DAWSON is hollering away.

HEATHER CHANDLER wings a twenty dollar bill into the cashbox.

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Combing their hair in the bathroom mirror, the HEATHERS speak in comically whining-and-pathetic imitations of Martha Dumptruck as VERONICA shakes her head with a half-smile.

Bomb Beer “HEATHER CHANDLER. +) irflee te ttt oe Ku-urt, let's pa~arty. ‘

HEATHER DUKE's gentle off-screen voice slices in.

HEATHER CHANDLER AND HEATHER MCNAMARA Gross!i

VERONICA reveals her right index finger is cut noticeably short, then walks over to the stalls.

THE STALL

VERONICA stands in a tight stall with an ashamed HEATHER DUKE.

HEATHER DUKE | Yeah, maybe.

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Come on Heather. We want another Look at today's lunch.

HEATHER DUKE holds up her copy of The Catcher in the Rye and

makes a bizarrely defiant smile.

HEATHER DUKE puts down her book and opens her mouth. VERONICA sticks her finger in.

17 CAFETERIA ENTRANCE . 17 Al? : . Al’ A gnarly melange of chicken and potatoes is scraped offa plate into a cafeteria trashcan as VERONICA and the HEATHERS

stroll by outside. VERONICA pauses to peer in at the JAMES DEANESQUE GUY.

As VERONICA walks off, HEATHER MCNAMARA oinks out some amusing

sexual noises. =

B17 CAFETERIA/JASON DEAN'S TABLE Bl

VERONICA saunters to JASON DEAN.

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C17 JOCKS' TABLE C17

“*** “THe “JOCKSwitnéss ‘VERONICA and J.D. 0 +

D17.J.D.'S TABLE DL”

An intrigued J.Q. laconically answers the question.

HEATHER CHANDLER breaks VERONICA's daze of admiration.

\ HEATHER CHANDLER oe, eee, Come on.

BUSTOSoreesSgay ere ew

KURT and RAM move into the exiting VERONICA's place. RAM sticks his finger through a piece of pie on J.D.'splate.

What did your boyfriend say when you told him you were moving to Sherwood, Ohio?

KURT : Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria aaheye aNo.Fags. Al towedRuler:

It seems to have an open door policy for assholes though, doesn't it?

J.D. gracefully stands, reaches’ in his coat, and pulls out aa 0357 Magnum. He fires twice at the viewer.

18 EAT. THE SAWYER BACKYARD-~DAY 48

Croquet wickets have been set up in standard form. VERONICA and the HEATHERS stand at various positions in the yard holding different colored mallets next to matching balls. HEATHER CHANDLER knocks her ball through the middle wicket.

HEATHER CHANDLER knocks her red ball into HEATHER DUKE'S green

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The Girls look to the doelike HEATHER DUKE with incredulous faces.

_HEATHER CHANDLER places.her foot on her red ball. She swings. . “'hSr mallet down hard onthé red Ball’ sending thé adjacent’ ~~ green one rocketing into a flower bed.|

HEATHER DUKE

HEATHER CHANDLER's next shot falls short of the next wicket.

HEATHER MCNAMARA hits her ball through a wicket and squeals.

HEATHER MCNAMARA misses her next shot.

HEATHER DUKE tries to navigate a shot from the flower Ded.

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wmf ‘HEATHER MCNAMARA oe) No way, no day!

As her friends howl, HEATHER DUKE slams her ball out ofthe flower bed. The ball bounces off a tree and amazingly goes through a wicket. HEATHER DUKE squeals in delight.

VERONICA | HEATHER MCNAMARA Holy shit! God, that was unbelievable!

HEATHER DUKE's next shot falls short of the next wicket. VERONICA begins setting up her shot.

“So tonight's” the night. Are you" two excited?

Don't worry. David says he's very so he's very.

HEATHER CHANDLER again hits her ball into HEATHER DUKE'S.

HEATHER CHANDLER _ Why not?

HEATHER CHANDLER slams HEATHER DUKE's ball back into the Elower bed. VERONICA'’SMOM calls out the back screen door.

|C) MOM moe Heather, your Mother's here.

' HEATHER MCNAMARA Come on whoever wants a ride.

“PremtaryreuedtentetenoeRameegedASAbFNGAZIOnlAsiarES

fT As the HEATHERS head into the house, VERONICA picks up HEATHER ao DUKE'S ball and exuberantly throws it back toward the wickets.

See ~ Veronica's MOM, carrying a tray of pate, and DAD, carrying a “Robert Ludlum book, place themselves around a patio table.

VERONICA sinks into the empty middle deck chair.

| DAD So what was the first week of Spring Vacation withdrawl like?

MOM | Hey kid, isn't the prom coming up?

“DAD Oh yeah, that's it.

DAD immediately returns to reading with a wide grin.

VERONICA : Great pate, but I'm going to have to motor if I want to be ready for the party tonight.

Ge A Volkswagen Cabriolet pulls up in front of a 7-11 with ee HEATHER CHANDLER at the wheel. VERONICA pops out of the car, into the store. HEATHER CHANDLER clamors to her.

Stylishly dressed-to-massacare, VERONICA reaches out to a bag of Corn Nuts as J.D.'soff-screen-voice disarms her.

7 | : J.D. (0.8.)

You going to pull a Big Gulp with that?

Wap ee TareSE“a your 7=kispeak® pretty well. °- *

® Ohio, there's always a 7-11. Any = _. town, any time, I can pop a Ham and

Cheese in the microwave and feast on a Big Wheel. Keeps me sane.

| VERONICA I didn't. Cherry.

VERONICA smiles at her Coolness. J.D. returns the smile.

VERONICA and J.D. slurp by J.D.'sferocious motorcycle.

HEATHER CHANDLER sounds her car horn with a grimace. VERONICA glares at her then turns back to J.D.

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~ ‘atRemington University. -

VERONICA grows serious as the car horn sounds again.

The car horn blares again.

DAVID, Heather Chandler's fine looking college beau, leads VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER into a cramped, eclectically tacky dorm room. Music pounds the door.

The semi-handsome BRAD chats atop a desk with BRAD'S FRIEND.

a DAVID re, Throw your coats on the bed, girls. fe‘,.ae Sea | BRAD

That exam was so bogus.

| As they head out the door, BRAD whispers something in BRAD'S — ' FRIEND's ear causing the pair to snarl off a laugh.

The viewer is taken back and forth from a shattered post- party — ‘lelWERONICA to the “traumatic dormitory party itself. The: sobbing.: monocoled VERONICA writes at her desk.

VERONICA frenziedly scribbles, trying to get her pen to write.She throws the pen across the room and pulls out another.

| The chaotic hallway rumbles with beer cups and loud music. VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER's stylish garb clashes with the laid-back dress of the COLLEGE STUDENTS.

BRAD anxiously hands VERONICA a cup of beer as he watches DAVID and HEATHER CHANDLER move through a.staircase door.

'BRAD So, are you a cheerleader?

Co) VERONICA as (dealing with a jerk) oy "No, not at all.

VERONICA

I Gee, thanks. eee aeSorCAREE,SeaiAtOOESERCeT

AhemeToreoakateaemenasahiEatalesSekeUteEanieases6maoeneevan*“4

-BRAD It's so great to be able to talk to agirl and not have to ask “What's your major?" I hate that.

-They uncomfortably sip their beers. A deadly pause ensues.

| BRAD | So when you go to college, what kind of subjects do you think you'll study?

HEATHER CHANDLER and DAVID sit on the latter's bed, surrounded by a PC and a series of obnoxious Ferrari posters. They kiss. DAVID doing most of the work. |

(unzipping his pants)- Don't worry, we will. You're just so hot tonight. I can't control myself.

DAVID pushes HEATHER CHANDLER's head down.

BRAD has given up on conversation.

BRAD'S FRIEND approaches before VERONICA can show disqust.

a VERONICA Jeez, right, then why don't I do drugs?

With a wink, BRAD squirms off. VERONICA dashes into the room with the coats.

VERONICA rampages through her diary.

furvcarLeviesoethe-Pwinkles.When you make the sscVthweltu et eae

jump from working weekends at Pizza Hut to thirty years at I.B.M., you lose something. Not innocence--power.

JoF.«Kethe cat jumps onto the Diary.

VERONICA flings the screeching cat off and continues.

'Panting, VERONICA collapses at a desk in the “coat" room. She draws a Vodka bottle from a stockpile of liquor and pours some in her beer cup, slouching down in her chair.

VERONICA lights a match from a 7-11 matchbook. She eeriely brings her hand closer and closer to the fire until it touches.

With an eek of pain, she tosses the match away into the Vodka cup, setting it afire. VERONICA laughs to herself before tossing the flaming cup out the window.

“The flaming cup lands ina large rusted Garbade can filled with other cups and various refuse. The flames spread...

26...

A dejected HEATHER CHANDLER walks into a multi-mirror-and-sink bathroom. Using a glass off one of the sinks, she gargles some water and then spits at her own reflection.

VERONICA closes the window as BRAD opens the door.

~ BRAD

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BRAD plops down on the bed of coats and begins bouncing.

| VERONICA “I have a little prepared speech I give when my suitor wants more than I'd like to give him.... Gee Blank, I had a nice....

VERONICA yanks up her coat from beneath BRAD on the bed causing him to slide off onto the floor.

‘VERONICA storms into the hallway but slows down when she sees she's attracting attention. She notices an incited BRAD slither to the smiling DAVID who chats with some STUDENTS, HEATHER CHANDLER on his arm.

BRAD causes DAVID's smile to ever-so-slightly diminish. DAVID whispers to HEATHER CHANDLER who proceeds to set down her beer and walk toward VERONICA.

winoees EXT. DORMITORY ALLEY -- NIGHT 33

The fire in the trashcan is raging.

ato A steel faced HEATHER CHANDLER comes face-to-face with VERONICA.

Heather, I feel awful, like I'm going to throw up. Can we jam, please?

VERONICA'S eyes fall shut in a near-faint. She flings herself ‘down off-screen with some ugly wretching sounds.

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VERONICA ‘savagely.‘acrawis. in her diary, tears burning fierce.

VERONICA rises into view with tinges of vomit on her mouth. A smile breaks across HEATHER CHANDLER's granite puss. VERONICA runs off as STUDENTS laugh in the background.

VERONICA charges into the alley. She whips around to face a screeching HEATHER CHANDLER. In back of VERONICA, the trashcan bellows like Mt. Vesuvius.

The flickering flames cast HEATHER CHANDLER in a demonic light.

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VERONICA

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VERONICA flings her diary across the room where it hits the wall behind the stunning figure of J.D. VERONICA gasps.

* J.D. I saw the croquet set-up in the back. Up for a match?

VERONICA is simultaneously dismayed and exhilarated. She seems ready to burst out all her anxieties but instead.....

The viewer's viewpoint glides through the grass of Veronica's backyard uncovering combinations of wickets and articles of clothing. A pair of girls. shoesand a pair of guys shoes rest together by the first wicket.

Eetases anad Feminine socks and masculine socks lay crumpled by the next wick

As VERONICA quiveringly pauses, a stylish blouse and a rugged shirt are revealed mingling by another wicket.

The viewer's viewpoint moves to a dress and a pair of jeans resting side by side at another wicket.

J.D. {(V.0.) That was my first game of Strip Croquet, you know. I thank you.

a* a’eoae!Meg Pree<2ccae;SPToewan, the neighbor's:swing-sSe@te.:fregeereeteFweioekealpeyFL

VERONICA'S blue mallet has been staked into the ground. Her panties hang on one end, J.D.'s underwear hangs on the other.

VERONICA and J.D. are finally revealed, entangled in an artful pose upon J.D.'s gunslinger coat. They warmly kiss. VERONICA breaks off to uneasily giggle.

J.D. gently bites intoVERONICA's neck. VERONICA grooves on it, closing her eyes tightly.

VERONICA slides her head down against J.D.'s chest and gracefully rests on his lap. Gently fighting slumber, she murmurs up to J.D., who showers her face with slow kisses.

They laugh. VERONICA manuevers herself into a sitting positicn.

I guess I don't “know what the hell I’m talking about.

HEATHER CHANDLER's bedroom is lushly and expensively furnished with a glass coffee table as an eye-catching centerpiece. HEATHER CHANDLER half-sleeps in twisted bedsheets as MRS. CHANDLER'S VOICE attacks through the door.

Is that a "No" in your lingo?

HEATHER CHANDLER gives the voice behind the door "the finger."

The sound of a lock being jimmied is heard moments before VERONICA and J.D. burst through the doors nals

VERONICA opens the refrigerator. J.D. opens the cupboard beneath the sink.

J.D. holds up a bottle of cleaning fluid.

VERONICA and J.D. make queasy eye-contact. VERONICA descends back into the refrigerator with some worked-up enthusiasm as J.D. suavely pours bits of various toxic containers (detergent, scouring powder) into a glass beer mug.

J.D. raises the glass filled with what is now a strange blue ‘liquid. VERONICA stares at the glass, scared by her own thoughts.

J.D.. pulls down a ceramic cup and triumphantly pours the poisonously blue beer glass contents into it. An eerie pause ensues. VERONICA takes out a milk carton anda container of "lsorange.’ juice. She. struts back. tothe counter‘in anger, icily. =.” muttering.

_® J.D. sheepishly pulls down an identical ceramic cup. VERONICA Rieye tears it from him and pours some»milk and then some orange . juice into the cup.

They both start coughing harshly.

| VERONICA You're not funny.

oN J.D. turns on his heel and slinks away. VERONICA glares down fh - -atthe mess of toxic containers. |

With both arms, VERONICA clumps the toxic containers together and drops beneath the sink to put them away. J.D. swaggers back into the kitchen as VERONICA bobs back into view.

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| J.D. I'm sorry.

J.D. kisses the back of her neck. VERONICA closes her eyes with a grudging smile.

VERONICA dreamily reaches out to one of the two ceramic cups.

Not the one with milk and orange juice in it.

HEATHER CHANDLER angelically sleeps as VERONICA and J.D. enter.

ee eg a iion’‘HEATHERCHANDLER rouses herself Ups. ae

' HEATHER CHANDLER Did we? How the hell'd you get in here?

JeD. Veronica knew you'd have a hangover. So I whipped this up. Family recipe.

J.D. holds out the ceramic cup. HEATHER CHANDLER snorts.

ae, They do. They're right.

34.6

HEATHER CHANDLER rises from the bed and struts to J.D. in anger. She takes the cup, slams her head back and downs it all.

She then launches her head forward, her face contorted in agony.

HEATHER CHANDLER's eyes slam shut and her limp body crashes through the glass coffee table. VERONICA and J.D. freeze.

And your worst enemy.

VERONICA _ | Same difference. Oh jesus, I'm gonna...

VERONICA staggers to a desk. J.D. laughs out of shock.

VERONICA stares off as J.D. paces like a caged animal. He scopes onto the rubble of the shattered coffee table and sees Cliff Notes for The Bell Jar plus a magazine proclaiming “THE FALL OF THE AMERICAN TEEN” under HEATHER CHANDLER's body. |

oeidntshaleia:netanecSYeeaedadParca:Storeses>we,ee=eeetsoeNEAwghERRHigEeeSeeemar“

‘aS. ma

'VERONICA Like a suicide thing?

VERONICA takes some stationery from the desk and begins writing, calling out her words.

weeWeDo 2, eeeaccra eae "To me “though, Suicideis“the paraanes Pee natural answer to the myriad of problems life has given me."

VERONICA 7 ae hes That's good. Have you done this before? oe te goie

VERONICA's smile dies as she looks to HEATHER CHANDLER'S corpse. weenie

am ieaywed 2s

At the head of a long conference table is the bearlike PRINCIPAL GOWAN. Circling the table is the gray~haired but savvy MRS. POPE, the yuppie black counselor PAUL HYDE, TWO large DISCIPLINARIAN-TYPES, and most noticeably, the eccentrically dressed MS. PAULINE FLEMING. Coats are in chairs and cigarette smoke is in the air, as the group batters their way through a morning mourning conference.

A collective sigh goes across the room.

, PRINCIPAL GOWAN Thank you, Ms. Fleming. Call me when the shuttle lands...Now is this Heather the cheerleader?

37.6

The desks of the classroom have been maneuvered into an amusingly chaotic position by PAULINE'S PUPILS. She is furious.

_ PAULINE | coe “tT gald ‘a circle’ you immbeciles! Forget (OSes it! Just sit-down. I'm just so thrilled to be given an example of everything I've taught you. That example is Heather Chandler. I have the note!

PAULINE mélodramatically lifts the suicide note. The class AAAHE

FEMALE STONER IN ARMY JACKET I heard it was really gnarly. She sucked — down a bowl of multi-purpose deodorizing disinfectant then she smashed....

A stunned PAULINE glares until preppie PETER DAWSON speaks. The note continues to be breathlessly passed around.

Sime VERONICA lets out a laugh that she disguises as a sob by putting her hands over her face.

The class stares to VERONICA as tHe suicide note is passed to her. She acknowledges it in horror, passes it on, then continues, ‘realizing her ability to create truths for a captive audience.

ete* faae’os~~ tote*wag“ey,"aOy°=oeoy,* oan: * . ae ar.re43,""a«wwei ots * metMew”~ tewseykyate ‘road ik i PrNa

: * She realized ‘the. only &way“she ‘could be happy was to give up her power and the only way she could do that was Death..

PAULINE cries. The PUPILS applaud. VERONICA queasily smiles.

The GIRLS are finishing up putting on their clothes.

HEATHER DUKE gnaws on a chicken leg as she speaks.

HEATHER MCNAMARA pulls a Swatch from one of the lockers.

HEATHER MCNAMARA tosses the watch to a spooked VERONICA who stands up and solemnly puts it on. The FEMALE STONER IN ARMY JACKET stops next to their bench. =

FEMALE STONER IN ARMY JACKET I'm sorry about your friend. I thought she was your usual airhead bitch. Guess I was wrong. Lot of us were.

HEATHER DUKE bobs up from the world's largest sno-cone.

:«. VERONICAzombiesquely moves. into.the shower area....:ee ot

VERONICA turns on a shower and lets the water spray against. her clothes.

TWO GIGGLING GIRLS run into the shower fully clothed. THREE ‘OTHERS follow suit. The HEATHERS look to each other, laugh, and run in.

48 ‘INT. THE GIRLS' COACH'S LOCKER ROOM OFFICE -- DAY . 43

Heavy Metalers MATT, CLYDE, and STEVE plus Geek RODNEY sneak into a darkened room. Girls' laughter drifts in.

| MATT Do I deliver or do I deliver?

MATT | Mellow out Geek. Man, I never should have brought you.

MATT pulls a curtain revealing a semi~-overhead view of the showering and clothed GIRLS.

The GIRLS splash and spin in balletlike slow motion. VERONICA stands facing the viewer, the Swatch noticeably attached.

Cautiously quiet pandemonium.

What the fuck?

poses 51 EXT. OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL--DAY . S1

Pulling their coats over their wet clothes, VERONICA and the HEATHERS come out of the school.

i ' That was seriously warped, Veronica.

VERONICA

In the distance, a T.V. CAMERA CREW is interviewing STUDENTS. HEATHER DUKE dashes toward them. REATHER MCNAMARA freezes.

HEATHER MCNAMARA moans, vibrates, then suddenly races toward the cameras. VERONICA looks down at the soaked, stopped Swatch on her arm. She takes it off and drops it in a nearby trashcan.

A massive T.V. set shows the image of HEATHER DUKE posed by a tree, talking into a microphone. amacalledoeRoceOyketETEWineitsCkontSeeaeaeetoneeeenonnenSRLRego6nuhCerripee'sepgoruitaes

The imageof HEATHER MCNAMARA sitting on the grass talking into a microphone supersedes HEATHER DUKE's.

The image of PETER DAWSON sitting on a rock comes on next.

“VERONICA (0.S.) You' re an asshole! Mute him! eeltt2: : re?we.be.“ed torsArey“7NatsWonCotape.

VERONICA and. J.De are seen.“bo be crashed -‘on. aacouch. J.D. pushes a button on the remote control, cutting the sound.

—_ VERONICA Next channel, darling.

The silent image of HEATHER DUKE on a staircase talking into a microphone is on the screen.

Country Club Courtney appears wearing a T-shirt reading BIGFUN. VERONICA takes the remote control and turns the sound on.

In my heart, Heather's still alive.

J.D. . et ng Heather Chandler is more popular OH el pt than ever now. Ate eo ea

J.D. suddenly looks away from VERONICA with a mischevious half-smile. He inexplicably calls out.

J.D.'s father BIG BUD DEAN, stands before them, handsome and threatening in a shirt and tie. He is rather malevolently holding a rowing machine.

BIG BUD slams down his rowing machine and straddles it before answering his own question. He rows as he speaks. The Brady Bunch sputters on the T.V. screen before him. a ic a Pretaweseai aead ©Bre “BUD BEAN” ‘

Tt was miserable. Some damn tribe of withered old bitches doesn't want us to terminate that fleabag hotel. All because Glenn Miller and his band once took a shit there. It's just like Kansas. Do you remember fucking Kansas?

_ BIG BUD DEAN The Save the Memorial Oak Tree Society. Showed those fucks.

J.D. turns to VERONICA with a bemused smile.

Thirty Fourth of July fireworks attached to the trunk. Arraigned but Acquitted.

VERONICA, with a forced smile, reaches to shake BUD's hand. He extends his hand but makes no effort to stop rowing hence his hand pulls away from VERONICA. Pop and son laugh.

|. eRan reespores: PNettgserietakorTrertiene“ane PeeteCECsgPOOR WALESiaMMSSperTEPaeMORROpeomentinRECTRteRM mT TNT REGNesapteibute atte rapemenansanne

EErsARLE MIRNOR PANOTE CARA tie (Sibivores*“nn*

BIG BUD DEAN stops rowing.to grin a You-Think~You're- Tougher-Than-Me-But~You're~Not smile to J.D.

ee (weakly) Right.

Just as in the earlier patio scene, DAD and MOM SAWYER are’. Seated at a patio table with an empty chair between them. Pate is on the table. DAD smokes a cigarette. :

VERONICA walks into view and sits down.

So what was the first day after Heather's suicide like?

Ro

DAD immediately takes another drag with a wide grin.

(2. tt, 4. Aomontage commences ‘showing ‘the HEATHERS ‘preparing for the 5" funeral. HEATHER MCNAMARA models an all-black outfit in front of a dressing table mirror. She storms away, pouting.

Bobbing up from a fashion magazine whose cover story is FUNERAL CHIC, HEATHER DUKE finishes applying black lipstick. A look of horror passes over her face and she savagely scrubs her lips.

A MORTICIAN puts the finishing touches on HEATHER. CHANDLER, smoothing out her clothes and buffing her face. He gently kisses her forehead then quickly rebuffs the spot.

HEATHER MCNAMARA models another black outfit. She responds this time with a satisfied smile.

58 ‘INT. HEATHER DUKE'S BEDROOM -- DAY 338

Traditionally made up, a smiling HEATHER DUKE brings a crucifix earring to her ear and attaches it.

A59 A59 HEATHER CHANDLER serenely lies in a coffin as FATHER RIPPER mS bellows off-screen. A panorama of ADULTS and STUDENTS is Co revealed at this more social than spiritual event. VERONICA and J.D. watch from the back pew.

The bald FATHER RIPPER finally comes into view.

FATHER RIPPER

It's Jesus Christ and he! s in the book.

B59 KNEELING PODIUM BEFORE COFFIN--LATER B59

BETTY FINN is kneeling before HEATHER CHANDLER'S open coffin. The viewer hears what she is thinking.

Pv ener eS BEDTY (VEOe} te Po Re tae eet hp: May Heather Chandler rest in peace even though she committed suicide. For-the-kingdom-the-power~and-the- glory-are~yours-now~and-forever~Amen.

BETTY FINN makes the sign of the cross, rises, and exits. HEATHER MCNAMARA takes her place on the kneeling podium.

HEATHER MCNAMARA exits and PETER DAWSON moves in her place.

PETER flees and RAM uncomfortably takes his place.

RAM clumsily exits. HEATHER DUKE solemnly kneels in his place.

HEATHER DUKE departs and VERONICA kneels in her place.

C59 CHURCH LOBBY . " C39

-HEATHER. MCNAMARA. dips a-.big-comb*-into-the holy: water basin and: > then combs out her hair. VERONICA breezes by.

KURT KELLY and RAM stand by RAM'S van.

Geeks RODNEY and BRACES thrust by KURT and RAM. BRACES obliviously steps on KURT's foot. SENATETORICEOELEMCTePrpapainTtenerbenecpsetanpeat8:

Let's kick his ass.

BRACES gives them "the finger"

KURT and. RAM eurn to each other more amused than angered. at ee vasvel“osPteaea : otee gteesate *.aPChom._poe3.egmo:aeeR wlyeaspee”

The bolting Jocks effortlessly catch BRACES and put him into & hunched-over position. The other Geeks look on, ashamed.

coe KURT All right you piece of shit fag, do you like to suck big dicks?

RAM pushes BRACES down harder.

J.D. rides by on his motorcycle. He turns to watch KURT, wearing an overwhelmingly tinted motorcycle helmet that reads THE TRUE KILLER across the top. KURT is spooked.

Unamused, RAM throws BRACES to the ground. BRACES semi-cries. aml

thee tin BRACES Pema I like to suck big dicks. Mmm-mm!. mined“i I can't get enough of them. Satisfied?

KURT

: : I'm sure your friends are happy i ined to hear that. eye! (with a lisp).

Right, guys?

ANOTHER PLACE IN THE PARKING LOT

VERONICA and HEATHER MCNAMARA sashay through the parking lot.

Moving into the background, BRACES wipes dirt and blood off his face as his friends glumly watch on.

| VERONICA - All right, but I hope it isn't iseGodng .to.be oneof .thosenights,where oa Rye acetate 2

bpGbfg te OEws

they get shitfaced and take us to a pasture to tip cows.

A6l | | ee ‘AGL ” A COW stands sleeping. Giggling and drunk, KURT and RAM rs5“ia Lae ‘,aye° scramble around the COW. Uncomfortable and sober, VERONICA and HEATHER MCNAMARA look on.

Is it sleeping, dude?

-I think so, man.

| KURT Then get over on my side. Oh shit, cowtipping is the fucking greatest.

KURT and RAM slam their knuckles and then lean against the COW, poised to shove. HEATHER MCNAMARA manages a smile but VERONICA glares it away.

An 0.8. Moo and the Jocks' laughter is heard as mud splashes ~against the mortified faces of VERONICA and HEATHER MCNAMARA.

B6élDEEPER IN THE PASTURE--LATER IN THE NIGHT Bél

‘C KURT stumbles after a more annoyed than scared VERONICA..

VERONICA makes her way up a hill, pausing to compassionately stare at RAM on top of a dispirited HEATHER MCNAMARA. KURT's intoxicated brain has trouble dealing with the incline. Majestically, J.D. appears at the top of the hill. KURT squints up the hill and falls over backwards.

| J.D. What is this shit?

BRL aeh Spam ot se 8s MERONICA- eg RR De OMEdikepetitesat

I'm doing a“ €avor for deather. A double.date. I “tried totell you atthe funeral but you rode of €.

VERONICA clumsily high heels it up:the hill.

| VERONICA So what? Don't smile like that, Jesus!

J.D. solemnly reaches toward VERONICA. She, less solemn, takes his hand. Their bodies disappear over the hill.

‘62 INT. | NEWSPAPER/YEARBOOK WORKSHOP--DAY 2 62

In a cluttered school workshop, Editor DENNIS and YEARBOOK GIRL ALISON confer over a layout sheet. Alison wears a walkman and BIGFUN T-shirt. PETER DAWSON pouts behind them.

EE eteRAT ttNOEOASOMOSn tee

VERONICA breezes in.

Don't worry about it, Veronica, sit down. That funeral yesterday must have been really rough.

“VERONICA Oh. Sure.

Country Club COURTNEY and COURTNEY'S FRIEND come in giggling and whispering. Seeing VERONICA, they stop dead, then slide into chairs, laughing softly.

COURTNEY and COURTNEY'S FRIEND explode in laughter.

ote,

VERONICA | Yeah. And? I left him drunk and flailing in cowshit.

COURTNEY | I don't know. He was really detailed.

VERONICA : Don't shut up. I'dlike to know just | what I did. aca ee, Ra ged ataisea Saatts TAB Ui Seg atta Saee PETER | (gesturing to the door) Let me show you that lunchtime poll topic, Veronica.

‘INT. HALLWAY OCUTSIDETMWORKSHOP | ~~ DAY. G3

PETER tells VERONICA.

Dizzy, VERONICA hands a clump of dolllar bills to PETER.

PETER cheerfully pockets the cash as VERONICA drifts off.

VERONICA arousingly speaks into her phone.

SaMIETyeeAe MREYeeeeeethoeeeeS MSeeerQEReaeOeeeeES arsSleeedMEitedam eemRfeane OR MEcmeMEeweEETS UD EAR>yySOMEORAL T aaLALMA ete od ena oeaeMRNaan HR*rceee.

VERONICA

aint | Hi, Kurt? This is Veronica Sawyer. I Braeos didn't expect to be calling either. I ba

guess my emotions took over. I was wondering if you wanted all those things you've been saying to really happen. It's always been a fantasy of mine to have two guys at OncCe@.eess. Sure, you can write Penthouse Forum.

Revealed to be lounging on her bed, J.D. laughs out loud. VERONICA throws a book at hin.

KURT hangs UP with an amazed expression on his face. Lo bapee Zs agfaegeeee PandetdetacoietyMargeteeaayheh te

Women.

‘VERONICA and J.D. load guns on VERONICA's bed. VERONICA breaks into a laugh. . |

VERONICA drops her gun in revulsion and launches off her bed. With a patient smile, J.D. pulls her back down.

J.D.| Do you take German?

i@ J.D. flicks open his gun and pulls a bullet from the chamber.

J.D. nods then stands to pace the room, his mind whirring.

VERONICA clumsily extracts the note from her purse. She also

the opening note-forge scene. She proudly displays both papers.

VERONICA , First tell me this similarity is not incredible... ;

VERONICA pulls back the note and reads.

eeSETARASepeegeOEieeteCLEEyUUMesTAMALES faerespane te LehaPte TEEgnfeewaTENNSESeetLASTMICESONNEARS RUMTEI RIORRHEDRUEHEL HSMNnt bee pce edt ewe gn eoeeec necto8 bw ene we

VERONICA swiftly picks up her gun and aims it at the lovable tabby entering the room. J.D. rips it away from her.

VERONICA

Uh well hey, Let! s take aLook at the homosexual artifacts I dug up to plant at the scene. Now prepare to be a Little dissappointed.

lifts up a feminine shopping bag and gently dumps the.

‘contents on the bed.

| VERONICA You must have had fun.

reaches in both his coat pockets and triumphantly raises

out two bottles of Perrier water.

J.D. laughs then climbs onto VERONICA for a hugging kiss.

A tense KURT and an excited RAM, playing air guitar, walk through the misty parking lot toward the woods.

Shut "the “suck up, ‘allpioht.

KURT feebly slams knuckles with RAM.

VERONICA stands in the middle of a clearing in the woods, She nervously tucks the gun in the back of her dress as KURT and RAM emerge into the clearing from a path in the woods.

; KURT Hi Veronica.

VERONICA © (forced cheerfulness) Hi Guys. Glad you could make it.

RAM smacks his hands together.

So do we just start fucking?

KURT steps into the scratched-in-the-dirt cirele next to him. A confused RAM walks past VERONICA and steps into a circle at the opposite end of the foggy clearing.

irNahe BE Pa RenaiantarecheReaoraarVERONICA

aere eers

The guys pause, then slowly start taking off their clothes.

|

What about you?

KURT and RAM awkwardly stand at opposite ends in their undies.

Agiggtes. in anticipation. |

KURT finally cracks a smile.

J.D. suddenly moves next to VERONICA holding a gun in his right hand and the feminine shopping bag in his left. .

J.D. almost non-chalantly shoots RAM in the forehead. VERONICA rips out her gun and swings it toward KURT. Using both hands, she fires, but misses completely. KURT runs away onto the path. VERONICA throws down her gun with a smile.

J.D. races to VERONICA in a white sweat.

J.D, Did you miss him completely?

Don't move! I'll get him back!

VERONICA's laughter cuts off like a faucet. Suddenly frembiing and confused, she Watches J.D. bolt into the woods.

raviSEMoeEynenaaEteReaaogsieeeeset:

87,

THE PATH

A panicked KURT runs on the path through the woods.

OFF THE PATH

J.D., with a cold efficiency, weaves through trees and fog.

THE CLEARING |

VERONICA, turns toward Ram's collapsed body.

THE PATH |

KURT sees the opening at the end of the woods. J.D. suddenly moves into the opening and raises his gun. KURT runs back...

THE CLEARING

__...YERONICA approaches, Ram' s body. with. increasing shivers. HeMoaooo.

dead, dead, dead.

KURT barrels into the clearing as J.D. howls from the woods.

| o.D. Now!

In a burst of frightened, animal instinet, VERONICA whips around and fires her gun right into KURT's chest.

Two cops, MILNER and McCORD, smoke marijuana in a squad car already filled with smoke. After a coughing fit, MILNER shouts.

McCORD Wha?

McCORD Shit, let's roll.

The two officers explode out of the car..

J.D. puts his gun in RAM's right hand while VERONICA zombiesquely does the same with KURT and her gun.

CNANTEmSSenedoSEENARR PC FeIPSNRS RE MEaRANe yeirngeTEER YmRem rmmare my oStameRem gettsare—eanea

wineteaanteeatemeaneamaneeamlanetwmenteekneSeeeenTeBeanenemacemeaneaaeetlwinesmeepetsD

A quivering VERONICA puts the gun in KURT's left hand.

J.D.'s head snaps forward. He yanks up VERONICA. They both run into the woods behind RAM's body as the two Cops charge into the clearing, guns raised. Seeing the Jocks, they stop.

McCORD Mother of Shit!

MILNER Looks toward where VERONICA and J+. ranouts

4 : ee+af*5iedaewie, ‘oseatyo ee BReeeOYofetea‘‘ft“a:ate:5varsa)aeeeroteeeawdwho?oa*ae ‘MILNER t heard something out there. I'm checking it out.

MILNER runs off as McCORD shouts into a walkie-talkie. He is holding the pulse of KURT KELLY.

-M¢CORD This is Officer McCord and I've got two dead bodies in the woods behind Westerburg High. Oh my God, one of them's Kurt Kelly, the quarterback.

VERONICA and J.D. flow through thick trees. An Owl hoos.

MILNER blindly barrels through the dense, foggy woods.

VERONICA and J.D. come out of the woods and race up a dew drenched hill toward VERONICA's car which is parked on top.

o.eD. Faster!

“MILNER is jolted by an OWL-HOO, then continues moving.

HILL -- DAWN ~ os | 75

VERONICA and J.D. reach the car, panting.

MILNER races out of the woods just as VERONICA and J.D. slam the car doors behind them. MILNER huffs up the hill. ye,

VERONICA and J.D. somersault into the backseat and begin taking off their clothes.

MILNER continues to move up the hill.

VERONICA and J.D., stripped down to their underwear, embrace.

MILNER approaches the car and peers |if: His erackling walkie~ ‘talkie startles:Him.: |::.

McCORD (0.S./walkie-talkie) Milner, can you hear me? What's going down?

MILNER moves away from the car, then speaks into his walkie-— talkie.

McCORD (0.S./walkie-talkie) Forget it. I got all the answers back here, partner. Boy, Kids today sure start in early. Hey, are they naked?

MILNER sighs, and clicks off his walkie-talkie.

Seeing the cop move away, VERONICA and J.D. stop kissing. They catch their breath, smile, then continue passionately necking.

81 EAT, THE CLEARING -- DAWN 84

MILNER runs back into the clearing.

McCORD Suicide. Double Suicide. They shot each other.

: SAADEVETraeAgeene neepert,BRATgeaEN RSTTYhe TEa So nT PRNECa ae eaem,eegS em en e mmrang S ween teehmme

McCORD Yeah, and the linebacker, Ram Sweeney.

McCORD Does this answer your question?

McCORD reaches in the feminine shopping bag and pulls out the ‘bottles of Perrier water.

|MILNER Oh man, they were fags!

McCORD Listen up, "We.could never reveal our forbidden love to an uncaring and -ununderstanding world.”

MILNER shakes his head slowly then suddenly looks up.

McCORD I always hear gunshots when I'm high before noon. Life's a crazy bitch. Don't try to analyze it. The quarterback buggering the linébacker. What a waste.

| MILNER_ Oh the humanity.

Another morning mourning conference. The participants look a little more frazzled. PAULINE sits at the head of the table.

The elderly MRS. FOPE shakes her head at the suicide note.

5speeqpuremawastesper

em (oO MRS. POPE e( . Look at this. "Ununderstanding.”

PRINCIPAL GOWAN hoarsely breaks ‘in.

tites tat PRINCIPAL. _GOWAN | Shut ‘up, paure I've seen a lot of" bullshit--angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography exhibits involving tennis racquets, -but this suicide thing....I guess it's all on Pauline's wavelength. We're just going to write off today, and Friday she can do her little little love~in or whatever. Whatever.

VERONICA's car is the lone vehicle in the student parking lot. Slowly other cars begin to filter in, including a rumbling heap- ful of Heavy Metalers.

The Heavy Metaler Heap's cbnoxious muffler causes a sleeping VERONICA's eyes to snap open in bug-eyed sweat. Mentally wounded, she climbs into. thefront seat, pulling on her blazer. She presses in the car cigarette lighter. J.D. rumbles from the back as more cars begin to fill:the lot.

VERONICA tugs.out the car lighter and savagely brands the palm of her hand. J.D. hurdles into the front seat and bats the lighter away. He lights a cigarette off the scorched flesh of VERONICA's hand as she wails away.

SEmteenAcmtgsNegenNegematt

J.D. drags on his cigarette. School buses are pulling in outside of the parking lot, in front of the school.

J *D* Did too.

J.D. launches into a rapid-fire rendition of “did-too's". VERONICA responds by holding her hands over her ears and. Singing “Mary had a Little Lamb." J.D.'s “"did-too's" get louder causing VERONICA to bang on the horn.

HEATHER DUKE and a vegged out HEATHER MCNAMARA stop sauntering through the parking lot to contemplate Veronica's hiccuping car and its sparring occupants.

COURTNEY bounds up to the Heathers.

SQUEELING GIRL 41 f Did you hear? School's cancelled today because Kurt and Ram killed themselves in a repressed homosexual suicide pact.

(incredulous, but amused) No way! ;

J.D.pulls VERONICA off the horn and warmly places an unlit cigarette in her mouth. As he speaks, VERONICA wearily takes the cigarette from her mouth and puts it in her blazer pocket.

SASeneELLNaResiCoastangeeinen: s

nobwoBeaweMeawe‘vatefoePaesWadeeeSpagettiraenatLomaeeeselepierceHelaymeengareeat

VERONICA -

oil) ee : (looking,to her burnt hand) sn! Sure. Can we make an ice run

before the funeral?

STUDENTS head back to their cars and the Buses pull back out.

A typically John Waynesque Jock's Father-type, MR. KELLY, stands over his son'sopen coffin. KURT wears a black football helmet. FATHER RIPPER watches on with various ADULTS, STUDENTS.

In dark sunglasses, VERONICA wearily leans over to J.D.

They quietly laugh. VERONICA sees a LITTLE GIRL staring at her. She is wearing Kurt's football jersey and her face ts soaked in tears. VERONICA's smile turns into a nauseated grimace.

88 OMIT 88

VERONICA lies next to aVodka bottle, drinking out of a Dixie cup. She turns off her blaring radio to speak on the phone.

‘DwJ. (radio). . As you know, the Sherwood Teen Suicide tote is up to three. Here's one for Kurt and Ram, BigFun with Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It... .

..-VERONICA hangs up and looks to her battered diary lying against.

the wall. She crawls to the diary and then reaches up to her night table to pull down her monocle and a pen. She sucks a cup of Vodka and begins writing.-

Sitting up against her bed, VERONICA continues writing as J.F.K. laps up Vodka from the Dixie cup.

beehped ha gh os wsetaey re pMeRbe.,Bt sGod..versus_ my - boyfriend.Peeta henygtemuets ty

"and God's losinge...

VERONICA drops her head back and closes her eyes, popping out her moneocle.She swoons down against the bed onto the floor and curls into a fetal slumber. .

STUDENTS eat and buzz tegether in typical cacophony. All are wearing black armbands. A jukebox roars.

“PAULINE FLEMING and an entourage of STUDENTS such as PETER DAWSON and the HEATHERS invade the cafeteria, heads raised high

Peter, kill the jukebox.

As the music amusingly grinds to a halt, PAULINE hoists up a bullhorn to her lips and crackles...

A startled Geek RODNEY Splatters milk all over himself.

STUDENTSwhip their headsaround tothefrontofthe cafeteria. MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK warily looks up from her plate.

PAULINE FLEMING chants with soaring self-importance.

A tableau of dumbfounded STUDENTS stare at the Bullhorn Woman.

Hungover indark sunglasses, VERONICA bustles toward the cafeteria entrance clinging to an armful of books while trying to tie a black armband onto herself.

PAULINE's Evita Peron-like composure is crumbling.

o-Her-eback-to.the viewer;.VERONICA enters.the .cafeteria..HEATHER.. DUKE floats into view and tightly knots VERONICA's armband.

VERONICA turns to the viewer and half-gasps.

TWO 2-person video CAMERA CREWS and a STILL PHOTOGRAPHER burst into the cafeteria slightly battering the in-the-way VERONICA.

PAULINE smiles in relief. She wields around, Lifting the Horn.

The cameras are here! Lock your paws!

Slightly confused but Awesomed, a table of Country Club Kids including COURTNEY stand and latch out to each other. A nearby table with BETTY FINN and friends follow suit.

VERONICA looks on with a growing sense of queasiness.

The Cafeteria swirls into a frenzy with members of more excitable cliques like the Jocks and the Heavy Metalers jumping over and onto tables anxiously bumbling into hand- holding constellations. CAMERA CREWS weave beside them. In a corner, the PHOTOGRAPHER snaps a shot of a thumbs-up PETER DAWSON with his arms around FEMALE STONER IN ARMY JACKET.

PAULINE runs ahead of a hustling CAMERA CREW and grabs hold of a chain of hand-holding Jocks. She pulls the chain until it connects up with a grateful chain of BETTY FINNS.

SOYEMereryan eeeAsleepingHEATHER MCNAMARA drearily awakens to the havoc arour

wee

[ae weeGehoeumateewePeeneeeeegt

66..

af)%aa her. She takes off her black armband, ties it around her VAnapea4esvett: eyes, and droops her head back down on a table. ag VERONICA lets her books slide from her hands, shaking her head.

MARTHA DUNNSTOCK nervously looks to her out-of-control peers.

HEATHER DUKE slyly looks to VERONICA with an "If you can't beat em..." smile then saunters into the fray. She slides onto the lap of Heavy Metaler Matt. The PHOTOGRAPHER snaps a shot.

PAULINE forces apart the handholding Heavy Metal lovers JACKIE and STEVE, sandwiches DENNIS in between them, and madly departs

The PHOTOGRAPHER now shoots a pic of a thumbs-up PETER DAWSON with his arms around an ALL OUT NERD.

VERONICA stands before the chaos, back to the viewer, in’ much the same way Heather Chandler die in the opening scene.

DAULINE. and ‘the Geek Squad ‘100k.to MARTHA ‘DURNSTOK /DUNPTRUCK.

, | PAULINE Gotcha...Could I get some Stoners over here please!

Frightened and flustered, MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK quakes for a moment then crawls underneath her table.

A last panoramic view of the hustling CAMERA CREWS amid the panderingly anarchic STUDENTS unfolds.

VERONICA suddenly finds herself flanked by J.D.The exiting CAMERA CREWS flow past them.

A dumbfounded VERONICA watches PAULINE and PETER approach.~

As they argue, J.D. looks out and sees MARTHA bob up from oFmalarwersnicementbeneathher table(then dark”back under. He ambles away... ~ PLETEAewaeoeaan

- PAULINE

vt) ‘od . So Why are you dissing me, Veronica? I'm Nines trying to redefine the high school

experience.....

7MARTHA.“punnisTocK/BUMPTRUCK'sTABLE

MARTHA slithers from under the table up into her seat, and head down, trys to finish of£ a bowl of soup. She slowly looks

®@ up and freezes. J.D. is revealed to be seated across from her, oe behind his Rebel Without a Cause lunch box. He smiles warmly.

VERONICA restilessly rocks on a couch with increasingly unguarded annoyance. Excitedly insensitive to her words, J.D. Spins the tuner of his radio, headphones pressed to one ear.

J.D. giddily pivots around, tearing the headphones from the

-vadio and causing a blast of static to accompany his words.

TeerSeareeetyanneiyeeapyoetomesJOOveABesteyBenen, :ie:faereey*. .: eaeekHEi

VERONICA

W fo (a ticking time bomb) ee Our way is not our way.

J.-D.goes into a Sonny-Corleone-at-the-Turnpike imitation. VERONICA throws the first thing she can get her hands on, a framed picture of a woman, at the vibrating J.D.

eedBS get . death.and shit like that feeding frenzy . ae

cee "this afternoon....Geez; what am Tiewhos. Cee es Unnaah! You can be so immature!

BIG BUD DEAN is revealed to be standing in the front doorway, holding a chest exerciser and waving a videocassette.

; BIG BUD DEAN Judge told em to slurp shit and die.

BIG BUD moves to the Entertainment console, turns off the radio and turns on the V.C.R. He crams the cassette in and hefts up his chest exerciser. He begins pumping away as the image of a shabby building appears on the massive T.V.

oe, Masterful. When that blew, it set off See : a pack of thermals I'd stuck upstairs.

The building blows up. BIG BUD cackles. J.D. politely applauds. BUD pops out the videocassete and bounces away.

bs Rl shoeoT ByteEERE ON ee, PN:eeeote nas: thay ‘ ‘‘

J.D. ee Never given the matter much thought. Liked my mother.

framed picture that Veronica threw. J.D. picks up the

They said her death was an accident. she knew when the explosives were But set to go off. She knew... .

down next to J.D. with dazed concern. VERONICA siowly sits

be nts tay.,S8inusesof

keep the school “heatthy, it's ~ °°"

a SE" "going" to

gotta be through something having to do with life, not death.

ee Sees . J.D a Whoa, Metaphor Tennis anyone? Tell me, if you put a Nazi ina concentration camp, does that make you a Nazi?

VERONICA

before bounding up From the couch 3.D. exhales in frustration to turn back on the radio.

DoJ. (Radio) if I get one more request for Dudes, that BigFun song I'm going to committ suicide. Here it LS.e....

As the "song" kicks in (a bunch of guys shouting over a drum - machine), J.D. seductively moves toward VERONICA, semi~lip- syncing it. As a seethingly angry but not unaroused VERONICA watches, J.D. slithers onto the couch. BIGFUN (Radio) TIMES ARE MEAN FOR A TEEN--WE KNOW! PARENTS IGNORE, TEACHERS BORE--WE KNOW! BUT THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO GO! TEENAGE SUICIDE; DON'T DO IT! : TEENAGE SUICIDE; DON'T DO IT!

J.D. stops his seduction and rips out a gun. He giddily fires

| into the radio, destroying it.

: _ VERONICA

"gtWatersShae

the fleeing VERONICA. This calms rather -

J.D. playfully tackles than angers. She turns on her back. J.D. follows suit.

VERONICA sighs, then rolls over into a crawling position and eventually into a walking-out-the~-door position.

bec ent Peete antei eae ee gt eetTo VERONICA l chet ae tan beRe | a To think there was a time when I

‘thought you were cool. If you can't deal with me now, just stay home and shoot your T.V., blow away a couple toasters or something. Just don't come to school and don't mess with me.

J.D. slowly sits up and with both hands, puts his gun in his mouth. He pauses, lets go of the gun, and then biting down on the barrel of the gun, J.D. proceeds to broodingly tie his shoes. .

J.D. moves to an empty row of desks. He.turns the first desk as to face the second. HEATHER DUKE warily lowers herself into the second desk as J.D. flops a manilla envelope onto it. “HEATHER DUKE opens the envelope and pulls out a stack of 8xl10'

The first shot shows a YOUNG HEATHER DUKE in a summer camp uniform that vibrantly reads HEATHER. She is holding one end | of a large poster board drawing of two Eskimos rubbing noses. [ Holding the other end, in a summer camp uniform vibrantly | reading MARTHA, is a YOUNG MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK.

HEATHER DUKE> What the...e..

With a harsh laugh, she takes in the next photograph. It has YOUNG HEATHER DUKE and YOUNG MARTHA eating toasted Marshmallows off each other's Sticks. .

ATS eeevarar(AYaggre twpee:ytay aa a ae*ceaeLeeeeee hhocee 2ieeeoirees-:oe7

*ta ee“are*HEATHER “DUKE” a rants.seyaBeie saa,

‘eo“ criSoakwe.

But she couldn’ t handle it.

J.D. taughs. |She'son the ball.

I.D. I think you can. In Catcher in the Rye Holden says his ideal job'd be making sure some kids don't fall off a clifé. He doesn't realize if you pay too much attention to the kids, you'll back off the cliff yourself.

J.D. launches away from his desk with a grin. He places a red ribbon on HEATHER DUKE's desk.

: J.D. In the meantime, strength. And hey, there's:a little gift.

A spooked HEATHER DUKE splashes water on her face and looks up into the mirror. In a trance, she pulls her hair back Heather Chandler fashion and ties it with the ribbon J.D. gave her.

A BETTY FINN-A-LIKE moves up to the sink next to her. Two CHIC BABES enter the bathroom with pouting expressions. Seemingly in a trance, HEATHER DUKE bends over and wipes off her wet hanc

using the oblivious BETTY FINN-A-LIKE's dress. HEATHER DUKE winks to the now~giggling CHIC BABES and saunters off.

HEATHER DUKE bursts through the bathroom door to wickedly strut down the hall. She scowls/smiles inperfect Heather Chandler fashion to various passers-by.

97 ANOTHER HALLWAY -- DAY . : | 97

Disoriented, VERONICA somnabulates down the hall. She suddenly brakes amid the Flow of Student traffic to stare at a locker. The locker wears a POLICE LINE--DO NOT CROSS sticker. VERONICA pulls out a School Spirit Club I.D.Card and moves to the locker

With the card, she wrangles the locker open. It contains a coat, recognizably Heather Chandler's. On the inside door is a sizable mirror, a cute little “HEATHER” license plate, an Alexander Haig For President sticker, . andapicture of VERONICA ag sa. the.HEATHERS | all.Wearing|.sunglasses. andacting.tough. tenet hae

VERONICA zeroes in ona three frame Photo Booth picture. In the first frame, VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER stare stonefaced. In the second frame, the two girls are screaming at the top of their lungs. In the third frame, they have returned to a stonefaced state. VERONICA touches the picture witha quivering smile as two hands flap around her eyes.

VERONICA turns around, stunned. The Heather Chandleresque HEATHER DUKE can be seen in the locker mirror. VERONICA violently pushes HEATHER DUKE away and storms off.

HEATHER DUKE peers in the open locker. A pair of red earrings Flash out at. her.Biting her. lip,she reaches for them.

Lying on the floor, VERONICA concentrates on her phone. With a deep sigh, she pushbuttons out a number. She pauses, then...

VERONICA's voice drones through HEATHER DUKE's answering machine

ReeAITEReREAETERRtlmRURRRREEnueteEEMertenEmetermetiteceneemtameORaLETTeEEaattetRErateatedegtemcnertineeateaeoman

| 73.

A Male hand picks up the phone.It's College boy DAVID.

VERONICA cringes.

‘102 “INTI-VERONICA'S BEDROOM “-+NIGHT °" “102°

DAVID proudly looks down off-screen to his lap.

VERONICA slams down the receiver and pulls up a sleek leather address book. She severely scans through it.Tossing it away, VERONICA then descends into the sundry junk of her night table drawer and draws up another address book. This one is frayed and pinkispolka-dotted. She peruses it and dialsewece .

‘VERONICA Hello, Bettyeees.

‘BETTY FINN hits her ball through a wicket and squeals in delight. VERONICA has a motherly smile on her face.

-VERONICA. Don't get cocky, girl.

-BETTY bends down to shoot then raises her body back up.

74.0

BETTY

CO . I missed you. I know I'mnot as, as S exciting as your other friends. gr)

BETTY once again bends and rises.

BETTY finally shoots. Feebly.

_ VERONICA

egeihge og Betty,your daydreams are a lot

believe. a potgaeeRe ‘betterthan my realities, me. I'm afraid though it’s time to die.

VERONICA gigglingly shoots, but misses the wicket. And instead hits BeTTy's ball. Disturbed by the sudden dilemna, she determinedly walks to her ball and moves it away from BETTY's.

It's not my style, okay?

VERONICA sighs then knocks BETTY'S adjacent ball sailing toward the porch and a statuesque Earring~- wearing HEATHER DUKE, who does not budge as the ball whizzes past her.

; HEATHER DUKE Brav-o!

HEATHER DUKE walks toward the girls followed by a meandering | desultory HEATHER MCNAMARA, who picks up a green mallet and

ieapebga!

HEATHER MCNAMARA . | Croquet won't be the same without Heather.

LATER IN THE GAME

Red ball underfoot, HEATHER DUKE savagely “sends” HEATHER MCNAMARA's green ball into the flower bed.

HEATHER DUKE's shot swerves wide of the wicket.

You're so polluted. Talking down to people, making fake notes....

VERONICA blows her shot.

HEATHER DUKE bashes her ball into VERONICA's and prepares to send it.

As HEATHER DUKE swings down her mallet, VERONICA steps on her own ball. When HEATHER DUKE's mallet makes contact, the two balls slam against each other, unmoving, with a loud smack.

The depressed and disoriented HEATHER MCNAMARA, laying against a tree, pipes in.

‘ HEATHER MCNAMARA She's right.....Boy, croquet’s not the same without Heather.

As HEATHER DUKE and HEATHER MCNAMARA meander out the back of the yard, an annoyed VERONICA revolves back toward the house to seeJ.D. sitting comfortably at the patio table with a drink.

VERONICA reaches the patio, gently swinging her croquet mallet, excited with the thought that J.B. has come to change his ways.

VERONICA storms to the patio door. |

106 - 114 OMIT } ee 196 = 114

a Wearing a BigFun Toshirt, MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK sits in gi the bleachers glumly sipping out of a cup of Coke. Cheers and pai shouts can be heard booming around her. pain As she places the cup down beside her, it is revealed MARTHA iin,| is completely alone in the gym; the cheers being sad workings api of her embattled imagination.’ ny: ifs She lifts the cup back up to her mouth but the plastic lid AO

Accm

With her croquet mallet, VERONICA comes into her house, - sliding the patio door closed. MOM and DAD are watching a video image of PAULINE FLEMING at a cafeteria table.

wrsuets" flake we met-at-Open Houses o's.- 8 ty tere ne et

A zombie VERONICA floats past her parents to stare at the T.V.

| PAULINE (T.V.) I came into the cafeteria and asked them to hold hands. The response was immediate.

Footage of the frenzied handholding Students unfolds upon the screen with no evidence of the calculation behind it. PAULINE's sanctimoniously dulcet tones go over the images.

; VERONICA

natural emotional outpouring! .

VERONICA clams up in anger as her parents babble.

The video image of PAULINE at a cafeteria table returns.

eee See TNme aes= RiisateTALrereaaldoNa

eteeigneneTeangesne

With her croquet mallet, VERONICA slams the on/off button and turns to her parents.

MARTHA trudges outside of the school, the coke stain still grotesquely encrusted to her BigFun T-shirt. She pins an illegible-except-for-the-words-DEAR-WESTERBURG note onto her ““shirt;, over the stain. Shé ‘continues: moving ‘toward'-a' street” of passing cars.

The Sawyer family is on fire. VERONICA yanks the television cord from its socket. :

: MOM Are you trying to tell me it is not a troubled time for the nation’s youth? Get up off the floor, your dress is getting Filthy.

VERONICA: . | Everybody cares about youth, not the individual. All we want is to be treated like human beings, not like guinea pigs to be experimented on and not like bunny rabbits to be patronized.

inset pttBAN AE gh MemRee HEap wae fi ge am tae gm mE ee ta ok GyoeNeteeotieaneytaeDAD

VERONICA leans against the wall with a melancholy smile.

“MOM is embarassed for getting so “[nvolved. She.‘meekly gestures to a tray of pate with a compassionate smile.

: MOM You'll live. Want some pate?

HEATHER DUKE suddenly breezes in the room, out of breath, holding various shopping bags.

Hi everyone, door was open. Have you heard, Veronica? We were doing Chinese at the Food Fair, right, when they come over the radio and say Martha Dumptruck tried to buy the farm. She bellyflopped in front of a car, wearing a Suicide note.

VERONICA slaps HEATHER DUKE in the face.

HEATHER DUKE paces the room holding an icepack to her jaw. VERONICA is glumly sprawled on the ground.

| VERONICA

eterna En SAidI was sorry.

HEATHER DUKE hastens to the radio and flicks it on. Ripping ‘Open a bag of corn nuts, she sets herself down next to VERONICA as a TROUBLED MALE VOICE cuts the air.

A slob D.J. cackles into a conference call-type box.

The D.J. rudely clicks off the TROUBLED MALE VOICE.

becgegreisyaN:waeTheTaetareOeSSOeea ee sop SEARING .£O. HOtp robs. .WhoamT boataypeeeteen

Sl.

HEATHER MCNAMARA is sitting clandestinely on her bedroom floor talking on the phone and through her radio. A dim lamp provides the room's only light.

HEATHER MCNAMARA looks up at a Madonna poster on the wall.

HEATHER MCNAMARA | It's Madonna. Geez, no, not that.

HEATHER MCNAMARA looks up to a Knick-knack of Little gold bird.

| VERONICA and HEATHER DUKE ‘simultaneously. move into. stunned ae

(123 INT. RADIO STATION BOOTH -- NIGHT 23

The 5.J. looks to the conference call Sox with exasperation.

D.J. * Yo, Tweet, if you're going to tell me you just saw a puttycat....

A broken-down HEATHER MCNAMARA sobs.

HEATHER DUKE excitedly jumps up as HEATHER MCNAMARA drones on.

HEATHER DUKE HEATHER MCNAMARA (radio

oN ° Holy shit, that's My whole life is a mess. bie) Heather! We'll I was supposed to be cn crucify her! captain of the cheerleading

team, but I probably won't VERONICA because I miss practice when Oh man, she knows we my Dad visits. My parents listen to this show! are divorced and stuff and....

B82.

-A blackboard reads POOR LITTLE HEATHER. .

HEATHER MCNAMARA is revealed in the front row wearing her cheerleader uniform. To the left, HEATHER DUKE dishes with — some dreamy GUYS. At the back of the classroom, VERONICA, monocle in eye, writes in her diary.

A HOMELY GIRL is seen reading a note, glancing to a TYPICAL JOCK. VERONICA takes in the wicked panorama of the classroom.

HEATHER MCNAMARA suddenly rises and walks out of the classroom, passing a GRUFF TEACHER in a trenchcoat, carrying a briefcase.

' HEATHER MCNAMARA struggles to open a bottle of sleeping pills.

HEATHER MCNAMARA — Fucking child protector caps.

GRUFF TEACHER writes a math problem on the board. A flustered VERONICA squirms in her seat then leaps up and runs to the door.

GRUFF TEACHER> ‘Now where's she going? Is somebody getting raped today on All my Children or what?

peaosNEGITweBMOEEDUEMREenUNweTERREeyarereeenCretespe:eeeeeetmetetdeteeteeeeeecute

a

NY .

ake

VERONICA races down the hall.

HEATHER MCNAMARA is a chipmunk with a mouthful of pills.

She pulls a glass from her purse and turns on a faucet, but no water comes out. She manages to mumble.

HEATHER MCNAMARA gets running water from another sink as VERONICA rushes.in. VERONICA punches HEATHER MCNAMARA's face causing the pills to explode out of her mouth. HEATHER

up yey oo yo MCNAMARA slumps against a stall, onto the floor. .

a . NERONICA jumps up and down on the pills on the floor...

VERONICA lunges forward to strike her. HEATHER MCNAMARA recoils with a wail. Half-regaining her composure, VERONICA slides down next to HEATHER MCNAMARA.

: HEATHER MCNAMARA wipes tears from her eyes and smiles weakly. al \ a HEATHER MCNAMARA (eg | Probably.... |

OTENTENTTeDHES Etc ta wageTensea ataEE aeSekeae

Comfortably slouched at a desk, J.D. laconically rumbles.

HEATHERDUKE sitsat the desk “oppositehim torching’“he foots ‘manilla envelopes (photographs) with a butane lighter.”

J.D. flips across a stack of blank, connected computer printout sheets. At the top is a small paragraph and the word PETITION. HEATHER DUKE blows ashes off her desk and grabs it, giggling.

HEATHER DUKE twirls her copy of Catcher in the Rye to a pleased J.D.

HEATHER DUKE gothically ascends a Staircase, holding the ; petition. She stops, arms raised high, to bathe in the - sunlight blasting through the staircase window.

HEATHER DUKE, petition in hand, sashays toward the Country Club Kids table. |

yeTORRAHANRTSEeregtayTevevearwations4|errbag.torteenh2yetagapneerieatecng)8meeygari“9)}«

iLeow

HEATHER DUKE chirps to a schoolbusful of various STUDENTS.

The provacatively dressed Petitioner charms a patch of Jocks.

HEATHER DUKE continues to bizarrely bathe in the sunlight of

window. |

the staircase

138‘EXT. PARKING LOT--DAY | 138

Strategically wearing Heavy Metal accessories, HEATHER DUKE slams down the petition atop a car-hoodful of Metalheads.

Paae

81 39"INT. “STONERS. HALLWAY: == "DAY NS PvP eet ne taeUB be eB es

Decked out in denim, HEATHER DUKE vanishes into the Stoner Hallway smoke, with the petition.

HEATHER DUKE further writhes in the sunlight until VERONICA! s perplexed voice cuts into her bliss.

HEATHER DUKE brings down her arms and the petition and turns to VERONICA, revealed to be descending down the steps.

eee HEATHER DUKE

It was J.D.‘'s idea! He made out the signature sheet and everything. Now will you sign it?

VERONICA slaps HEATHER DUKE with all her might.

-VERONICA Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why are you such a MegaBitch? * coe, poeome*’*,4 *aiade ae.ee:eeae . aan aes “ HEATHER DUKE | an Because I can be! The same fucking cheek, goddamnit! Why are you pulling my dick? Do you think, do you really think, if Betty Finn's fairy godmother made her Cool, she'd still act nice and hang with her dweebette friends? No way! Uh-Uh!

HEATHER DUKE stumbles down the stairs.

| HEATHER DUKE Fuck me gently with a chainsaw...

J.D.'s voice cuts into VERONICA's concentration.

Wanna go out tonight?

VERONICA grimly turns to see a smirking, descending J.D.

i ‘ J.D. Catch a movie? Some miniature Golf?

J.D. seductively slides behind VERONICA and envelopes her.

dbiiciattSLds entate A ae Caphatatbeathe ab teSaal sige Moers he iteraee

As in the Chandler kitchen scene, J.D. kisses the back of VERONICA's neck and she closes her eyes. Suddenly she rifles her elbow into his stomach, doubling him over. She screams in his ear then bolts down the stairs as he gasps after her.

‘J.D. | I don't get it! You were wrong! I was “right! Strength, damnit! Come back!

Intensely clutching her schoolbooks, VERONICA walks through the front door into the living room where MOM and DAD sit with -caggressively.: compassionate faces.-VERONICA.is.a bit confusede«.

MOM and DAD glance at each other before MOM speaks.

| MOM Your friend Jason Dean just stopped by. He seemed very.concerned about you. He said he thinks you might try to kill yourself.

DAD holds out an envelope. VERONICA nabs it and rips it open. The note reads, in feminine manuscript: RECOGNIZE THE HANDWRITING? ;

: - VERONICA— Oh my God.... ;

VERONICA runs off, her mother’ s voice trailing ‘behind her.

MoM (O.S.) He says we should keep you away from sharp objects, closed. garages, toxic...

VERONICA vaults through her bedroom door. A Barbieish doll wearing a BigFun T-shirt hangs from a noose. With a whimper, she swerves away from it, looks to her open window, and then dives onto her bed. |

J.D. laconically leans against his motorcycle with his legs suavely crossed. He looks up to Veronica's bedroom window and | hears another whimper emerge. He puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights it with a smile.

VERONICA curls into a fetal position on her bed and closes her eyes....etighter and tighter as J.D.'s voice.

“You can't ever find a place nice | and peaceful because there isn't any."

VERONICA flops around to see J.D. kneeling over her on her bed: ..“yéeading:Heather -Duke*scopy:-of The Catcher.‘invthe Ryew:: :

Nice. It's got -that Catcher-in-the-Ryey- I-hate-the-world-and-the-world-hates~me- so-let's-committ-suicide ambience. Give it a try, underline something. .

(J.D. giddily underlines words then slides into a prone position, tossing the book to an enraged VERONICA.

| VERONICA

- | Get off my bed, you sick psycho.

You think you're a rebel. You're not a rebel. You're a sick psycho. (increasing rage). Do you think you're a rebel? Do you think you're a rebel? I wanna know!

VERONICA freezes and J.D. reaches up to her hand where she holds the Catcher in the Rye. Her index finger is curled into the book. Sitting up, J.D. carefully opens the book at that place and peers. in.

jor penemg ta es.Obliviously underlines the word then pulls the flailing

%,“my ase 145 INT. THE DUKE KITCHEN--NIGHT

The sound of a lock being 4jimmied is heard moments before VERONICA and J.D. burst through the door. J.D. moves to the dishwasher and opens it like a burglar opening a safe.

7 VERONICA — You're still not listening! I'm not..

| J.D. (pulling out the knife) ‘Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.

an What in “the hell do you ‘chink‘tT! m doing? Taking out her tonsils?

J.D. grabs a dishtowell and vigorously wipes off the knife.

She can and so can the viewer. Tears well in VERONICA's eyes. She begins to shudder, a shattered smile quaking onher face.

J.D. tears his gloves off with a giggle. He takes a pen from the ; Ritshen counter andpaper from. acutesy memo Pad. “Re-_Shoves the

pen in VERONICA's hand and grabbing her hand, forces her to scribble LIFE SUCKS on the paper.

J.D. pulls out the copy of the Catcher in the Rye and opens a door revealing HEATHER DUKE, asleep in an artful pose on a couch, MTV images from the T.V. flashing against her.

* an‘ad*:-“toeas:we:ee:eeoes—_-.:.heetly“,“s4.ot*oespeaehoa:atueaecardan,eee..'«.”oa......>*“,.arseames. ”‘ ~oahesome+*%0+ l4Beeeates.~“:lott.anert..atteotoeonpeeat‘ode‘$3r"2NeYt.0eeatsoseeBee,a.‘ytyo.osan.14a%o.

J.D. hops in the adjoining room and slams the door. VERONICA races to the door wailing. She maniacally rattles the doorknob trying to open the locked door. .

_& 146 INT. AN ANONYMOUS T.V./HEATHER DUKE! S ROOM -~ NIGHT L46

The sound of the rattling doorknob subtly turns into wild African music thundering on the soundtrack as PAULINE FLEMING ethereally moves to a blackboard with three chalk strokes on it and makes a fourth chalk stroke.

In speeded-up imagery, DENNIS, PETER, and the YEARBOOK GIRL manuever pictures of HEATHER CHANDLER, KURT, RAM, and HEATHER DUKE in mind-bogglingly countless ways in order ta accomodate them all on the same two page layout.

With even more speeded-up imagery, four STUDENTS wearing "What a Waste, Oh the Humanity” T-shirts toss out tons of black armbands into a hungry crowd.

The wild African music and the speeded up imagery slams to a halt at the sight of HEATHER DUKE lying serenely in a coffin. FATHER RIPPER wearing dark sunglasses and a terrifying toupee, walks in front of her to address a sizable group of ADULTS and STUDENTS sitting in foldout chairs before him. FATHER RIPPER dramatically looks over the crowd before finally speaking.

— FATEER.RIPPER. jets. the.wordhang in the air,then holds UP fhe Hants me EESa enginwaascenepaketot.

oehnAnAghttentsAeonmeteeetalaoat

VERONICA stands ina corner with an "Oh brother” look on her face.

FATHER RIPPER | On the surface, Heather Duke was the vivacious young lady we all knew her to be. But her soul was in Antartica, freezing with the knowledge of the way

ene ae ae a ole Bellow teenagers: can be cruel,-the way wore ee

writes so eloquently in her suicide note, the way life can suck. We'll all miss Sherwood's little Eskimo. Let's hope “she's rubbing noses with Jesus.

HEATHER CHANDLER moves next to VERONICA holding a plate of ° steaming spaghetti. She is wearing nerdy glasses and something that looks like an intergalactic prison uniform.

“HEATHER CHANDLER I made your favorite. Spaghetti.

os Lots of oregano.

a) | With a squeal, HEATHER CHANDLER plunges VERONICA's face into alae the plate of spaghetti. .

Uncurling from the fetal position that she had fallen asleep | in, VERONICA's tightly closed eyes snap open in a sweat as her mother's voice continues to filter through the door. It's all been a dream.ccrcvseceas

VERONICA closes her eyes and holds her heart. She suddenly launches to her desk, opens her diary, shoves on her monocle, catches her breath, and begins writing.

That ‘is “to say, no“oneSue me. Tr know . 7 where J.D. is coming from and where he is heading. He's wrong, Dut I'm going to teach him what's right. I'm going to stop J.D....if it's the last thing I do.

VERONICA leans back in her chair, sweating. She reaches in the pocket of a blazer draped over the back of the chair and pulis out the cigarette J.D. had given her earlier in the film. She puts it in her mouth unlit then takes it out and puts it back in the blazer.

J.D. remains laconically leaning against his motorcycle with his legs suavely crossed as he was before Veronica began | dreaming. J.D. finishes his cigarette and pulls out a gun. He checks the bullets, puts the gun back in his coat, and heads toward the house.

VERONICA hugs J.F.K. the cat then rips down the hanging doll.

J.D. leans a ladder against the Sawyer house.

i

‘MOM sets down three plates of spaghetti. DAD watches on. 4

i) ; MOM t Does she want a. written invitation? (yelling upward) Veronica! Dinner}

eTa .

J.D. crawls through Veronica’s window. Hanging from the rafter, neck in a noose of bedsheets, is VERONICA.

MOM sets a glass of milk at VERONICA’'s place, distressed.

J.D. paces the room, sweating and ranting, waving a gun in one hand, the Barbieish doll in the other.

J.D. throws the gun on the bed and pulls from his coat the computer printout sheet petition, then savagely rolls it out on the floor. It is filled with signatures of different sizes, styles, and colors. J.F.K. blinks.

J.D. flicks open a switchblade. He runs the blade beneath the typed paragraph at the top causing it to peel off, revealing Snother typed paragraph.

-J.D. Listen. “We students of Westerburg High will dié. Today. Our burning bodies will be the ultimate protest to a society that degrades us. Fuck you all.” Not very subtle but neither's blowing up the school. Talk about your suicide pacts. When our school explodes tomorrow, it's going to be the kind of thing that infects a generation. A Woodstock for the 80's. Damn, we ‘coulda toasted marshmallows together.

J.D. swiftly picks up the petition and heads out the window. MOM enters the room and, seeing her hanging daughter, launches into frantic screams. SERROtecneaeaeEERy‘s

| oY | : 94. are a eo MOM iam Oh God, I knew it! No, no! I want my

baby back! I should have let you keep that job at the mall. I was just afraid of you coming home alone at night!

VERONICA opens her eyes.

VERONICA undos the noose around her neck but still remains hanging for the rope runs all the way down her back beneath her blazer and is tied around her waist. She undos the waist- knot and lands on her bed. She quickly puts a small pillow ove: the lefe-betiind gune unnoticed: Py.her dazed MOM. .

" WERONICA Hey Mom, why so tense?

Montage music plays as VERONICA rears up from her dinner plate to see her stonefaced PARENTS and her CAT staring at her.

J.D. tools with a bomb at his desk. A KNOCK on the door. J.D. turns down his stereo (and the Montage music).

J.D. turns back up his stereo (and the Montage music).

The Montage music continues as school buses arrive in front of the school. STUDENTS pour out.

STUDENTS come out of their cars. | ae \ . aw 162 INT. |HALLWAY--MORNING : | 162

Typically hectic start~of-another-day-opening-and-slamming-of- locker~action. VERONICA darts through the thoroughfare to her locker.-

A passing PAULINE FLEMING screeches to a halt, grabbing

PAULINE | Veronica! J.D. told me you committed suicide last night!

* VERONICA Get a job.

fe VERONICAstorms to-her-nearby: locker. She. swirls her. locker:o-.-.;.. combination and opens it. She glances down the hall and freezes.

In the distance, J.D. moves mechanically down the hallway carrying a large gym bag, wearing a Walkman. .

VERONICA climbs into her locker. She closes it until it is barely perceptibly ajar. J.D. strides past the locker and into . the Boys bathroom. . |

J.D. smoothly moves into a stall and closes the door. He turns off his Walkman and ends the Montage music.

The hallway slowly clears as STUDENTS go to class. The bell rings. A LATE STUDENT races through the empty hallway.

VERONICA carefully hatches out of her locker. She treads down the hallway as if something were about.to jump out at her.

A group of cheerleaders including HEATHER MCNAMARA are lazily -doing cartwheels. on the-gym floor. Ona small stage set up beside them, other STUDENTS are putting up folding chairs. PRINCIPAL GOWAN says "Testing" into a microphone.

J.D., toting the gym bag, slips through the gym door. He moves unnoticed to a position underneath the bleachers.

VERONICA peers around a corner to see an empty hallway.

Using heavy black masking tape, J.D. tapes a thermal bomb to a. steel support beneath the bleachers. Other thermal bombs can be discerned taped to other supports.

VERONICA cautiously treads down the empty hallway, trying to keep in control. Suddenly, packs of STUDENTS burst from > classroom doors behind VERONICA. The excited swarms of STUDENTS move toward and past VERONICA, who has braked her troubled treading to stiffly contemplate her passing peers. She latches onto Geek RODNEY in a panic. RODNEY looks down at his clutched arm with a nervous smile.

VERONICA .

° RODNEY Yeah, these things are pretty artifical, but at least we all get out of class...

VERONICA ignores RODNEY's amiable attempts at conversation to inquisitively move forward through the crowd.

J.D. darts from. out underneath the bleachers to the gym doors. He pops the doors open and sees the crowd of STUDENTS move toward the’ gym. He suavely pauses then dashes down a nearby: set of stairs..

VERONICA continues to tensely surf the tidal wave of STUDENTS heading for thegymnasium. She stops to watch her classmates file into the gym like lemmings with increasing sense of dread. ‘She again latches onto a passing RODNEY.

RODNEY (unconsciously) dramatically stops, turns to VERONICA, and SAYSeseveees

crpii RFbiyom. weeee VERONICA blanches then lunges through the crowd. She topples a couple disgruntled STUDENTS before careening down the staircase beside the gym.

J.D. walks by the firm glass windows of the boiler room, eyeing the pounding generators inside. He stops at a heavy steel door. Placing down his gym bag, J.D. proceeds to swiftly pick the lock. He swings open the steel door.

J.D. wields around. A sweating VERONICA moves toward him, pointing the bedroom gun at him.

Decne sae . eee, bole aaneg Mee ' I knew ‘chat“loose was too ‘noose! I mean, noose too loose! Goddamn you!

J.D. looks down at the gym bag already.on the ground. He folds: his arms and smiles. VERONICA forcefully moves closer.

J.D. suddenly kicks out into VERONICA's stomach, doubling her over and causing her to drop the gun. J.D. gracefully retrieves it. .

The pep assembly is in full swing with rowdy |STUDENTS in the bleachers earthily shouting, giggling cheerleaders making swaying pyramids, valiant band members struggling to be heard. Various Jocks, stand on the stage with PRINCIPAL GOWAN as a YEARBOOK PHOTOGRAPHER flashes away.

VERONICA bends over quivering and clutching her bruised (ribs. J.D. raises the gun to her head.

VERONICA swings her left arm up knocking J.d.' Ss gunhand - upward. She then sails her right fist into his face. The blow annoys him more than it hurts him but J.D.'s momentary loss of composure allows VERONICA to come inwith another much harder right hook. The blow sends J.D. stumbling back against the boiler room, jarring the gun loose.

They simultaneously lunge for the gun. VERONICA, having the better grip, pulls so forcefully that after wrenching the gun from J.D., she loses control of it, flinging it down the hall. VERONICA pops up to retrieve it but J.D. moves his legs scissors-style around her and trips her.

“The‘assembly mindlessly blares“Oa. Cheerleader HEATHER MCNAMARA” | rah-rah—rahs. RODNEY and the other Geeks pass around a pair of opera glasses, all intensely scoping out the cheerleaders. A . group of STONERS toke away beneath the bleachers, one of them lackadaisically leaning against a thermal bomb. .

A snarling J.D. stands up, pulling VERONICA with him.

Je p. violently kisses/bites VERONICA. While kissing, VERONICA sees a fire alarm ona nearby wall. She closes her eyes then savagely knees J.D. in the groin. VERONICA bolts to the alarm and pulls it down. Nothing happens. J.D. gasps.

VERONICA rockets her body down and picks up. the gun. J.D. grabs her and throws her against the steel hoiler room door.

A jostled VERONICA raises the gun. J.D. howls then bounds. toward VERONICA, causing them both to careen down the steel steps of the boiler room. At the same time, he inadvertently kicks the gym bag/bomb down along with them. The gun spins from VERONICA's hand and slides away. The bomb flies out of the bag onto ehe Doiter.room floor. A digital clock on the bomb clicks

ee 176 INT. GYM ~- THE PEP ASSEMBLY -- DAY | | 176

The frenzied pep assembly crowd is now doing “The Wave". BETTY FINN and her similar co-horts deliriously get into the act, all clapping. in cadence. HEATHER DUKE and some other fashion queens sit in a circle at the bottom rows of the bleachers, pouting as STUDENTS bounce up and down around them. Jocks stand on the stage grinning and preening before the crowd.

VERONICA and J.D. are in a heap at the bottom of the boiler room steps. VERONICA faintly works into a semi-sitting position and gives an astonished glance to the bomb, its digital clock clicking to 3:04. VERONICA crawls to the gun and levels it ata -rousing-up J.D.

ta fayegFeeeagvettene sy* ERONICA Mb. a: Dells+neeeeSeaee»,eee-*pe*etre*yoy“otaraytek: pat , vo gehe wa

Phe “bomb"'s ‘gone on, J.De! How doTM you turn it off? Tell me!

Fully standing, J.D. flicks.open his switchblade. He gives VERONICA "the finger," screaming in exploding saliva...

Seething, VERONICA shoots up at J.D. blowing off "the finger.“ Shrieking in pain, J.D. drops the knife to hold this sudden geyser of blood. VERONICA achingly stands, pointing the gun. The bomb clicks down to.2:25. .

J.D.

F You want to wipe the slate clean as

much as I do. Okay, so maybe I am killing everyone in the school because nobody loves me. You have a purpose though! Remember? Let's face © it, the only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.

VERONICA fires the gun at J.D.'s feet. The bomb clicks to 1:49° ar She focuses her eyes on three red buttons on the bomb.

VERONICA | Which red button, asshole?

...MERONICApicks up. the. bomb and puts.it on .a.Steel. rum, De, ‘speaking with her back turned. a

J.D. snatches up his switchblade and lunges toward VERONICA.) She springs away, causing him to bring the knife down past her and onto the middle red button, stopping the clock on the bomb at 00:17.

VERONICA fires the gun twice into J.D.’s stomach. Coughing and moaning, he splatters against a generator.

J.D. closes his eyes and slumps to the ground. VERONICA wearily regards the image of the knife stuck in the stopped bomb.

A cheerleader does a cartwheel in slow motion as eerie music plays. The manic crowd in the bleachers vibrates in slow motion as well. At normal speed, a smiling VERONICA walks to the doors of the gym and peers” in.

The panorama of roaring students, posing jocks, and prancing cheerleaders continues to unfold in slow motion. VERONICA walks AWAY ceeece

OL ASaree entnpr

VERONICA wearily pushes open the front door and emerges outside: of the school. She closes her eyes to therapeutically bask in the sun's rays. A slight smile trembles onto her face. A strange voice kills it.

Color me impressed.

J.D. stands starkly in the distance before her, blood spurting from his mouth onto his gunslinger coat.

VERONICA 7

: on 2 bRougHE TeesyOUeeleee ee ge bie ye, yotatedtatesait

J.-D.pulls open his coat revealing that the bomb is attached to his torso. The green light is on and the clock says 00:10..00 209 ‘

J.D. os Pretend I did blow up the school. All the schools. Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?

VERONICA takes the unlit cigaratte from her blazer pocket and | puts it in her mouth. She then folds her arms.

J.D. raises his arms in a crucifixion pose as the bomb clicks to 0:00. Nothing happens. An annoyed J.D. breaks out of his crucifixion stance and raps the bomb with his palm.

The sound of the bomb explosion plunges the cheering up-and-dowr pep assembly into chaos. Wailing students pour out of the bleact screaming less out of fear than a "Whoa Dude” sense of excitemer

VERONICA stands in the same position in front of the school with her arms still folded. Only now her cigarette is lit and her face and clothes are blackened in ash. -Flames flicker in bushes behind her. VERONICA drags on the cigarette and turns to go inside. |

VERONICA strolls into the school and into a hallway of howling students, some of whom are tearing down Prom banners for the thrill of it. HEATHER DUKE rushes up to VERONICA and grimaces.

VERONICA tosses away the cigarette. She then grabs HEATHER DUKE by the shoulders and forcibly turns her around.

VERONICA takes off HEATHER DUKE'’s red ribbon and ties it around the hair of her own head. She kisses HEATHER DUKE on the cheek, leaving a black stain. VERONICA calls off.

| | _ VERONICA Hey, Martha, wait up.

MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK revealed to*be in a wheelchair, brakes to a stop and looks to Veronica, confused. VERONICA walks up beside her. MARTHA starts up her wheelchair and accompanies VERONICA away into a deserted hallway.

MARTHA

VERONICA and MARTHA continue gliding Bogart/Rains style.