"BLADES OF GLORY" (2007)

Blades Of Glory By John Altschuler & Dave Krinsky

A crisp winter day. Even though the sun is shining you can tell it's freezing by the clouds of steam coming from the mouth of an eleven year old, DARK HAIRED BOY. He's putting all he's got into pulling off a tough figure skating move.

The boy pushes off with his back leg when -- SWIZZZZ WHOMP! He's hit! He drops to the ice and next to him lies what just smashed into him -- a hockey puck! We hear a loud cheer. The boy looks up and sees a pee-wee hockey team laughing and pointing at him. One kid is being congratulated for his marksmanship.

The Dark Haired Boy gets up and gives the hockey players the finger. The hockey players can't believe what they're seeing. They are about to skate after him when a piercing whistle is blown summoning them back to practice.

As they skate reluctantly away, the Dark Haired Boy starts skating in a circle and giving them the finger with both hands. He's pretty good as he incorporates the "fuck yous" into a figure skating routine. He's pointing at his ass, giving the finger, making "blow me" gestures and grabbing his crotch. He's really getting into it when he hears something.

The Dark Haired Boy turns and sees that he has been watched the whole time by a tiny THREE YEAR OLD BOY. The little tot is wearing little skates and he tries desperately to mimic the skating, bird shooting and crotch grabbing of the Dark Haired Boy. He quickly falls down, though, because he's so young. The tot struggles to his feet while trying to make the "Blow me" gesture.

tongue into your cheek so they know it's

a blow job taunt.

The Dark Haired Boy turns his back and starts to skate but notices that the three year old boy is still right behind him trying to skate like him.

The Dark Haired Boy skates off and segues into a nifty sitting spin. The tot skates after him, tries to spin but just slips and slides around. The older boy shakes his head.

Poo poo.

The Dark Haired Boy does the move slowly and the little kid follows. The Dark Haired Boy is impressed.

The little kid does it again. This time even better.

DARK HAIRED BOY (CONT'D)

- Damn. Okay, now push off so you have some momentum and see if you can spin all the way around.

The little kid nods and then with surprising force pushes off and gets in a crouch. He goes into a truly amazing spin ...

The camera pushes in on the Dark Haired Boy's amazed face, then pushes in on the tot spinning. We cut from the boy to the tot, from the boy to the tot, then stay on the tot who keeps spinning and spinning ...

SPINNING SKATER

The skater comes out of the spin with a flourish and we get our first good look at JIMMY MACELROY, 26, wide-eyed and beaming. We are

SUPERIMPOSE: WORLD WINTER GAMES, MUNICH, GERMANY, 2002

We hear that haunting Native-American chant from Enigma's ,.._,, "Return tco Innocence" as Jimmy continues his routine. His legs move with sublime grace and precision to the music. Each 4-count carries us into a new slow-mo shot:

1) A hushed crowd of thousands hangs on every movement. It's a sea of red, white, and blue.

2) Jimmy's pelvis: covered by crotch-hugging white Spandex pants. A gold lame' sash tied around his waist flaps in the breeze as he gains speed.

3) STRANZ and FAIRCHILD VAN WALDENBERG, a skating team dressed like a Greaser and a Bobby Soxer. They're paying no attention to Jimmy, just whispering and laughing with each other, for all the world looking like a skating pair that is also very much in love. PAN OVER to see their sister, KATIE VAN WALDENBERG, 30's, watching Jimmy skate. She has several Team Van Waldenberg bags draped over her shoulders but is transfixed by Jimmy's performance.

4) HECTOR - Even more transfixed. We can tell he's a Jimmy fan because the scrap-book he's holding has a large gaudy picture of Jimmy as its cover. He smiles contentedly and waves a large pair of scissors in the air as Jimmy skates by.

5) Jimmy's torso: clad in a native-american vest with turquoise beadwork. The open neck exposes a baby smooth chest covered in glitter.

6) COACH, a bear of a man in his 50's, cheers his Skater on.

7) Jimmy's magnificent ass: could be the work of Michelangelo.

WIDE ON

Jimmy from behind. He launches into a triple axel and spins fluidly through the air three times. He comes out of the spin at REGULAR SPEED in a perfect, one-footed landing. He strikes his final pose -- the crows erupts in cheers.

DICK BUTTON and SCOTT HAMILTON sit in the booth. Behind them is written "2002 World Winter Games, Munich, Germany."

"golden" performance?

This just makes Dick even more jubilant.

A guy in a bear suit comes into the shot. It's the jolliest bear you've ever seen; he's multi-colored and is wearing lederhosen and a Tyrolean hat. Scott Hamilton seems less than thrilled with the furry interloper. Dick is delighted.

World Games -- Spaetzle the Unity Bear! Tell us Spaetzle, who do you like in this classic Lewis-Macelroy match-up?

Spaetzle shrugs with gusto, then waves goofily to the camera.

Jimmy rushes off the ice into Coach's arms. Coach is clearly pleased but tries to maintain his gruff demeanor.

Jimmy can't hold in his excitement. He jumps up on a railing and waves to his adoring fans. As Jimmy points to various sections of cheering fans, DARREN MACELROY, Jimmy's dad, hops up next to him, grabs Jimmy's hand in his own and shakes it victoriously to the crowd. Darren gives Jimmy a wink and Jimmy can't help but smile. They step down and rejoin Coach.

like ... you know when I did the triple axel? I felt like I could hit four! Wouldn't that have been awesome?!

Darren isn't smiling anymore.

Jirrnny nods obediently.

VOICE (O.C.) Hey, Macelroy. Was that your routine or a Surrnner's Eve commercial?

Jirrnny and Coach turn to face CHAZZ LEWIS, 35. He's dressed like a castoff from an '80s metal band: leopard-print pants, leather jacket, and calf-length skates made to look like leather boots. While every other skater has an entourage of coaches and family, Chazz is alone.

Jimmy's high scores are announced. He pumps his fist very close to Chazz's face. Chazz goes nose to nose with him.

Chazz rips off his leather coat, revealing a black vinyl vest with no shirt underneath. A sheriff's star is pinned to the vest. Chazz grabs a cowboy hat and hits the ice as music kicks in -- The Escape Club's "Wild, Wild West."

Chazz tears around the rink, shooting "finger guns" at the rollicking crowd. He moonwalks, does the "cabbage patch," gyrates his hips like Elvis. Chazz is quite simply sex on skates. "Dance to the beat that we love best, heading for the nineties living in the wild wild west."

Chazz, now at full speed, steadies himself and launches into a slow-motion mid-air splits.

CONTINUED: ( 2)

CHAZZ POV

Through the wide-eyed crowd Jimmy stares back defiantly.

JIMMY POV

Chazz, still in the splits, points right at Jimmy defiantly.

Chazz comes out of the splits and sticks the landing. The crowd explodes. So does the music. Wild west!

Chazz, drenched in sweat, races off the ice. He gets right in Jimmy's face. Chazz rips off his vest and starts strutting and flexing.

Jimmy and Chazz start to chest-bump. Coach steps in.

The P.A. Announcer starts calling off Chazz's high scores.

At the end of the sidelines, a group of Judges huddle in discussion. They break and nod to the P.A. Announcer.

CONTINUED: (3)

The crowd cheers. Male Skaters mob Chazz and Jimmy, draping them in American flags. Both Chazz and Jimmy look pissed.

ANGLE ON DARREN AND COACH

Darren, looking more pissed, turns to Coach.

Darren strides off.

All the medal-winning skaters mill around the sideline area, surrounded by well-wishers. Only Chazz is all alone. He glares at Jimmy who glares back. We hear the closing notes of "The Star Spangled Banner" and then see Stranz and Fairchild leave the ice. They're grinning like idiots and showing off their gold medals.

Fairchild whispers harshly to Katie.

Katie pulls random stuffed animals from one of her bags. She holds one out to Fairchild.

Katie dutifully looks into her bag; it's a bewildering array of dinosaurs, dragons and Pegasi that all look very similar. The photographer is set to take the picture. Stranz puts an arm around Fairchild and gets cheek to cheek, but then Spaetzle kind of edges his way between them.

They look annoyed but quickly plaster on smiles so big they make your face hurt. The momen~ the picture is taken Stranz's -~ smile turns to one of deep menace. He glares at Spaetzle.

Spaetzle edges warily away as fast as he can. Stranz puts his arm protectively around Fairchild. A FLOOR MANAGER wearing a head set strides up.

Chazz steps up, front and center. He looks up to the crowd with self-righteous indignation. There's no microphone so the crowd can't hear him, but that doesn't faze Chazz.

Chazz goes back to leaning against his rail.

A male skater in a bright green leisure suit, and one dressed like Eddie Munster head onto the ice.

Chazz and Jimmy make it onto the ice at the same time. They actively ignore each other and look at the podium ahead of them. Chazz picks up the pace slightly. Jimmy notices and also picks up the pace. Chazz breaks and runs as fast as he can on the ice. Jimmy takes off. They are both slipping and sliding desperately trying to get to the podium first.

Two giant American flags, obviously jury-rigged to one hanger, descend from the ceiling as the National Anthem plays over the loud speakers.

Chazz and Jimmy are cramped together on the center medal podium, still draped in their American flags. This podium is clearly not big enough for two.

Jimmy bumps Chazz who bumps right back.

Chazz bumps Jimmy hard. The two begin really shoving now. Jimmy rears back and fakes a jab. Chazz flinches and falls backwards off the podium, onto the ice. The flag falls from his shoulders onto the rink. The crowd gasps.

Chazz grabs Jimmy's medal and yanks him down by it. Jimmy topples to the ice as well. The crowd GASPS LOUDER.

Jimmy scrambles to his feet and unfurls his flag like a bullwhip. Chazz does the same. They circle each other.

And then, both men actually start whipping each other with their American flags. It's like we're watching the most twisted locker room towel fight ever.

The skaters keep on whipping, inching closer to one another. Finally, they grab each other's heads and fall into an awkward grappling match, full of hair-pulling and Indian burns. The crowd noise slowly dies out.

The scene is no longer perversely exciting, it's just pathetic. All we hear now is grunting and a stream of insults from Chazz and Jimmy.

After a moment, Jimmy and Chazz realize the crowd is dead silent and has been for some time. The guys loosen their grips and look up at thousands of appalled faces.

CONTINUED: ( 2)

Spaetzle the Unity Bear sadly shakes his head.

Chazz and Jimmy have just pissed everything away, and they know it.

CLOSE UP

Of a photo of Chazz and Jimmy brawling. The caption reads "ICE CA-POWS!" WIDEN to see the photo is on the front page of USA Today. It is being held by Stranz and Fairchild. Katie is at their side. They are standing in the lobby of the US Skating Federation Headquarters. Both Stranz and Fairchild are conspicuously wearing their gold medals.

Fairchild pouts petulantly.

Katie looks guilty as Fairchild breaks down.

He gives her a comforting pat on the shoulder, then lowers his hand to give her a comforting pat on the ass.

He puts his hand over his heart.

She takes Stranz' hand and places it sort of on her heart, but mostly on her breast.

It feels very much like a courtroom. There is an audience packed with reporters and cameramen. Two long tables are set before the dais where the commissioner will preside. Chazz sits at one, alone. At the other sits Jimmy with his hands folded in his lap looking straight ahead. Next to him is Darren. Chazz and Jimmy also both wear their gold medals.

Chazz leans over to a borderline attractive skating official.

Chazz is nodding along to this with great understanding.

CHAZZ {CONT'D) I'm not comparing myself to MD, but ... {CHUCKLING) Hey, what if you and I were having sex and Michael Douglas came in ...

She just gets up and walks away.

ANGLE ON JIMMY AND DARREN

At that moment COMMISSIONER EBBERS enters and sits down. He looks like he was chiselled out of rock. He has a tight set jaw and piercing eyes. The guy's got gravitas. His gaze zeroes in on Chazz.

Chazz reaches into his pocket.

He casually pulls out a large roll of cash and starts peeling off hundreds.

{CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (2)

COMMISSIONER EBBERS

.._,, There will be no fine! Because of your

past behavior, and because of your actions at the Games in Munich, I order that you be stripped of your gold medal and banned from figure skating for the remainder of your natural life!

The crowd gasps.

Two guards approach Chazz. One reaches for the gold medal.

Chazz tucks his medal into his shirt but they rip off his medal and start to carry him from the room.

Chazz struggles ineffectively and is hauled out of the room. Jimmy looks shocked. He looks up at Ebbers and makes a big deal of nodding his head.

CONTINUED: ( 3)

But Ebbers is out the door. The guards approach Jimmy for his medal. Jimmy sadly hands it over. Chazz rushes back in.

The guards test out this comment with a series of rabbit punches to his kidneys, sucker punches to his head and choke holds as they haul him out. Jimmy, shell-shocked, follows. Katie looks at the scene with sympathy. Stranz and Fairchild look pleased as punch.

Jimmy and Darren enter this beautifully appointed room full of trophies, ribbons and plaques. A fire is going. Jimmy sits down in front of it to warm himself.

Jimmy takes this in and nods.

Jimmy is stunned, trying to digest this as Darren rolls on.

Crawling into the fireplace is looking more and more appealing to Jimmy. He's reeling.

Darren stands, making clear that it's time for Jimmy to go. Jim:ny is panicked.

CONTINUED: ( 2)

Jimmy stares straight into Darren's eye.

Jimmy's pleading eyes would put a basset hound in an animal shelter to shame. Darren gives Jimmy the lightest of smiles.

Darren holds up his hand and waves goodbye in Jimmy's face.

FADE IN:

SUPERIMPOSE: 3 1/2 Years Later - Boulder, Colorado. *

Bad pop music plays over a worse sound system. Amateur skaters of all ages skate around the rink. Jimmy, wearing a black unitard, shoots through the crowd, performing difficult crossovers as he weaves in and out of people.

Jimmy gains speed, preparing for a Lutz. Up ahead, a group of five year olds at a birthday party take the ice.

It's too late for Jimmy to stop. He leaps up and straddles the first kid, then lands on one foot to slide by another. He deftly leaps and twists his body, avoiding another kid, and lands on his other foot. Another kid is right before him, though. Jimmy leaps and does a flip right over the kid, and nails his landing. He smiles at his success but there is one last kid skating right at him. Jimmy hits the brakes, doing one of those cool skate stops. He stops just an inch from the kid, but in SLOW MOTION we see a bit of the ice spray land directly on the kid's nose. The kid, ALICE, looks at it cross-eyed for a long beat, then starts wailing.

Parents rush over as does the rink MANAGER, a scrawny, pasty- faced guy with chipmunk cheeks. He just barely passed the 70 IQ mark so he's not retarded, he's just stupid and mean.

A murmuring crowd of PARENTS and kids gathers around Jimmy.

He gestures to the skating rink with complete condescension.

This isn't quite panning out the way the manager anticipated.

The manager's brain is about to melt.

On Jimmy's horrified face we -- CUT TO:

A crappy piece of masking tape is stuck to the dressing room door with CHAZZ LEWIS written in magic marker. From inside, we hear women giggling and a super-long bong hit.

Chazz is sprawled out on the couch. He's 20 pounds heavier and wearing a wizard's robe covered in moons and stars. A Slutty Girl in underwear and huge conical princess hat straddles him. A Guy in a Fox Costume and a topless Woodland Fairy suck face next to them.

Chazz looks up and sees SAM, a cute woman in her late 20's, standing in the doorway. She looks seriously pissed.

Sam storms down the hallway. Chazz saunters after her, cracking open a tall boy.

The words hit Chazz hard, but he won't let her see. He slams the beer to drown his tears and turns to her.

After a beat, he picks up a trash can and vomits into it. Down the hall, BRYCE, the producer, smiles as he comes at him. Bald and with a mustache, Bryce looks somewhere between Mike Judge and G. Gordon Liddy. He's an unctuous managerial type that smiles no matter what amount of shit he's piling on you. Like a living version of the Disney building in Burbank, the smiles and forced jocularity just make him creepier.

Chazz pulls his head out of the trash can and is confronted with Bryce's malevolent smile right in his face.

This just makes Bryce smile more and give a "what can you do" head shake. He looks at Chazz with bemused disbelief.

Bryce, still grinning, strolls away. Chazz wipes the vomit from his mouth and puts on a giant wizard head. After a beat we hear more vomiting sounds.

Jimmy is working the skate rental counter. It's horrible. People are sitting casually on benches scratching and picking their feet. At the moment an elderly woman has shoved her misshapen hoof-like foot right in Jimmy's face. A bunion makes all the toes shoot off in an almost right angle.

A hairy Serbian man put his skates down right near Jimmy's face. The smell hits him like a wall. In desperation he sprays at the skates with the deodorant/disinfectant creating a cloud which allows him to get close enough to grab the skates and chuck them over the counter.

Jimmy gets up and walks over to where the skates are racked.

VOICE (O.S.) Hi, Jimmy!

Startled, Jimmy whips around to see Hector standing behind him. He's still holding the large menacing pair of scissors, along with a thick book.

Hector laughs good-naturedly.

Hector smiles big and brandishes a large pair of scissors.

Hector has the smug look of a man holding all the cards. *

HECTOR * Jimmy, our troubles are over. The last * few years have been tough on both of us. It's embarrassing to stalk a has-been. Know what I mean?

HECTOR * I even thought about dropping you. I tried working that Ukranian skater that looks like Elvis, but the fact is I'm too old to start over. (MORE)

CONTINUED: ( 2)

Hector proudly holds up the thick book: "The International Skating Federation Handbook."

He tilts it so Jimmy can read it.

Jimmy contemplates the idea as he takes the scissors, cuts off a lock of hair and hands it to Hector. Hector sniffs Jimmy's hair like a fine wine, then devoursit. He starts to walk off.

Chazz waits in the wings, trying to slap himself sober. Behind him, the wizard's head sits on the prop table. He doesn't notice but several flies are swarming into the head. Sam walks by.

She just grunts and keep walking. He looks out onto the ice. The rink is dramatically lit. Fog machines hiss as smoke billows across the ice. In the middle of the rink are three skaters dressed as a FOX, SQUIRREL, and BEAR. They huddle together as their recorded voices crackle and blare through loud speakers.

Maniacal laughter spills out over the speakers. Chazz quickly dons his head and skates onto the ice.

A fly starts buzzing around Chazz's face.

Chazz moves his head around trying to lose the fly.

The audience looks a bit confused as the wizard's head twists about madly. Soon, Chazz is using his wizard arms to swat at his wizard head. He's running around, completely out of ''--'. control. Finally, he just rips his head off with a scream.

ANGLE ON THE AUDIENCE

Kids are freaking out, parents are trying to console them. The crowd begins murmuring Chazz's name. The forest creatures gawk at him. The music dies. Off the rink, Bryce smiles at him with intense anger as he grabs the microphone.

The crowd instantly turns on Chazz. They boo, throw popcorn and cotton candy. Chazz just takes it.

A box of Milk Duds hits him in the throat, leaving him gasping for air.

Chazz, his wizard costume half-on and half-off, is forcibly shoved out the door by two security guards, FRANK and STEVE. Bryce is behind them. Chazz rips off the costume and throws it at Bryce.

Bryce just smiles and gives his patented head shake.

This, of course, gets nothing but a smile and a headshake.

Chazz charges at Bryce full steam but then he notices \.__;· something very disturbing -- Bryce is no longer smiling.

He is also in what looks to be a martial arts position. Chazz tries to stop, but momentum keeps him going forward where the awaiting Bryce takes Chazz's legs out from under him with a leg sweep and then pile drives Chazz to the pavement with a powerful open handed punch.

CHAZZ'S POV

Everything is fuzzy. But as it starts to clear he sees Bryce hovering over him and slicking back his hair. Bryce takes a deep breath that turns into a light chuckle and then a smile. He and the guards head inside and slam the door shut.

A Jarnba Juice style place. Jimmy stands with Coach at the counter. Coach looks a little slimmer and better groomed than when we last saw him.

The CASHIER, a skinny white guy with dreadlocks, interrupts.

Jimmy smiles, a little surprised.

Jimmy and Coach take their smoothies and step to a table. They both try to take a sip but the drinks are so thick it's a real struggle. Throughout the scene they try to suck up some smoothie to no avail.

Coach's head snaps up.

Coach takes a thoughtful suck on his straw. He still can't get any juice though. He gives up.

Jimmy takes a last, determined suck on his straw, but only succeeds in turning red in the face.

Families pour into the arena. Chazz, wearing a baseball hat and sunglasses, tries to melt into the crowd as he approaches the entrance. He is stopped short, though, by Frank, the security guard, who shoves him back outside.

Frank gives Chazz a rough shove. Chazz walks off. Once he's * out of sight, he zips around the back of the building and starts trying doors. One opens.

Jimmy wanders around the backstage area.

Jimmy turns to see a smiling Bryce. Jimmy smiles back.

Jimmy's smile fades. Bryce's hasn't.

Bryce's eyes narrow, but he continues to smile.

JIMMY * Look, it's a free .... *

Bryce's smile fades and he assumes his martial arts position. * Jimmy senses he better get the hell away from this nut. *

Ji=~ backs away as quickly as he can without running. *

Chazz enters to find Steve, the other security guard, putting on the wizard costume and practicing his lines.

Chazz grabs a cut-out of Michael Douglas from "Basic Instinct" and slips out the door. *

Chazz sneaks through the backstage area with his cut-out. Someone walks by and Chazz sets up the cut-out and hides behind it. After they pass, Chazz heads off.

ANGLE ON JIMMY

Heading towards an exit. He feels something -- A PRESENCE. * He looks up and sees Chazz sneaking across the room, cradling the cut-out of MD.

Chazz feels a presence, too. He turns and sees Jimmy. Their eyes meet for the first time in over three years. Forgetting all pretense of hiding, they head towards each other. Jimmy looks Chazz over.

A small crowd of skaters and techies begins to form. Chazz lets go of the cut-out.

They're now chest to chest.

Jimmy and Chazz crack their knuckles menacingly.

They both swing at each other at the same time. They end up in a clench and punch and wrestle their way onto the stage.

CONTINUED: ( 2)

The crowd gasps in recognition, and several people immediately train their video cameras on the fight.

Chazz and Jimmy sit by side in a holding cell with several other men. Chazz tries to affect a cool jailhouse demeanor.

Chazz glares at Jimmy then gets up and walks away, but every corner he walks to has a tough-looking inmate there. Chazz ends up sitting back down next to Jimmy. He glances over at the lone, open toilet.

A TV plays in the corner. In the B.G., Coach is painting on an easel.

ON TV

A NEWSWOMAN in studio.

Jimmy throws a punch at Chazz. Chazz ducks out of the way and Jimmy shatters a wall of the set with his fist.

BACK TO SCENE

Coach turns from the fridge to the TV.

Jimmy slams Chazz's head into a stage light.

BACK TO COACH

Disgusted. He moves to turn the TV off. But suddenly he stops, arrested by an image of Chazz holding Jimmy over his head and spinning him around. Coach snatches up his remote and hits a button. The image rewinds, then plays in slo-mo. This TV has Tivo. Dramatic music fades up.

ON TV

Chazz holds Jimmy in a skater's lift position. Jimmy spreads his arms and the two spin gracefully.

BACK TO COACH

Mesmerized. But then--

ON TV

Chazz slams Jimmy onto a prop tree stump, crushing it. Not so graceful anymore.

BACK TO COACH

He blinks. Now he's watching Jinnny and Chazz tug back and forth on a CROWBAR. He sighs, having lost the fantasy. But then, Coach's gaze intensifies. He hits the rewind button and watches again in slo-mo. Dramatic music fades back up.

ON TV

The two skaters spin around joyfully, each holding an end of a log with a face painted on it. They fling their arms up as the log flies away like a dove being released to the heavens.

Jimmy takes Chazz by the waist and hurls him through the air. Chazz twirls in a double axel and sticks a perfect landing.

BACK TO COACH

A huge smile spreads over his face. He grabs his coat and runs out of the garage.

CONTINUED: ( 2)

ON TV

Cops and security guards swarm and tackle Chazz and Jimmy.

Coach sits on a folding chair outside the cell. Chazz and Jimmy sit inside the cell, looking a bit shocked.

Coach glares at Chazz.

CHAZZ *

That you've lost it, old man. *

Chazz stands.

Jimmy leaps to his feet.

The guys continue to glare but sit down.

Jimmy hangs his head. Chazz chuckles.

Coach stands.

The guys glance at each other. Chazz shakes his head.

CONTINUED: (2)

Coach exits. Jimmy and Chazz run up to the bars.

An INMATE steps up next to Chazz and smiles warmly.

Coach unlocks the door. Chazz and Jimmy stand behind him holding their suitcases.

COACH * You're both staying with me for the * duration. If you're going to skate as a * pair you'll have to live as a pair. *

They step inside.

Jimmy nods but Chazz snorts derisively. Coach doesn't notice. Chazz snorts derisively louder. He's about to give it another shot when he notices Jimmy looking at a painting on the wall: it depicts a muscle-bound, golden-locked Fantasy Hero wearing only chest armor and loin cloth. He is riding a saber-toothed snow beast across a frozen Tundra.

A door opens and closes off screen. Coach smiles.

Chazz and Jimmy turn to the door to see KIM breeze in. Kim is a young, petite Asian man. His hair is pulled backand held with a scrunchy and his walk sashays a bit like awell trained geisha.

The place looks like it's ready for a spread in Metropolitan Home. Kim gives Coach a tender kiss on the lips then playfully smacks his ass. He then shakes hands with Jimmy and Chazz, who are standing there, slack-jawed.

CONTINUED: (2)

Kim breezes out. Chazz and Jimmy are still in shock. Chazz looks around, taking it all in: Leopard-print curtains, a white baby grand piano, ornate wrought-iron sconces, a framed poster for Cabaret, back issues of Out magazine on the coffee table. Coach is seriously gay. Chazz turns. Coach is inches from his face.

Coach opens the door for Jimmy and Chazz, revealing a tiny room furnished with bunkbeds.

Coach stares both of them down. Chazz and Jimmy stare back defiant a moment, then back down.

Coach exits. There is an awkward beat, then the guys start unpacking. Chazz pulls out his toiletries and puts them on the bureau. Jimmy does the same. He moves Chazz's stuff to the side and puts his stuff there -- lots of hair product. One of the bottles grabs Chazz's attention.

It looks like a shampoo bottle but has a well groomed horse prominently displayed on it. It says, "Tail and Mane - For a Lustrous Coat." Chazz picks it up.

(REALIZES) Wait, you use horse shampoo?!

Jimmy snatches it back.

Jimmy ignores Chazz and pulls a handheld blacklight wand from his bag. Jimmy flips it on.

Jimmy shuts off the overhead light, then flips on the blacklight. The room is bathed in an eerie glow. Jimmy shines the light around. There are very few white spots.

Jimmy keeps carefully scanning the room.

CONTINUED: (2)

Jimmy gives the beds the once-over. Nothing illuminates.

He flips on the overhead light and turns off his black light. Chazz flops down on the bed.

Chazz looks caught. He quickly changes gears. *

CHAZZ * I was talking to myself -- the only * person I can really trust. *

Jimmy just shakes his head and flips off the light. *

Skaters sign in at a table being overseen by Commissioner Ebbers. A crowd of reporters is gathered to the side, in front of a podium with microphones. Around the corner, Stranz, Fairchild and Katie stand. Fairchild is caking on make-up. Both she and Stranz have on their gold medals. Katie comes forward holding two baseball caps. They are segmented into red, blue, and yellow wedges and have a beanie propeller on them. She tries to put one on Fairchild who swats it away angrily.

Stranz grabs one and reads the writing on it.

Stranz takes Fairchild lovingly by the shoulders.

This brings Fairchild around.

Stranz and Fairchild embrace, then head out to the podium. They slap on the biggest, fakest smiles you've ever seen and wave to the reporters. They keep waving long after the photographers have taken any pictures.

The reporters can't help but be intrigued by Stranz's intro. Stranz smiles at Fairchild. They've got the reporters just where they want them. As a matter of fact, a reporter in the back, JAWORSKI, looks particularly astounded.

Everyone turns to see Coach leading Chazz and Jimmy to the sign up table. They quickly abandon Stranz and Fairchild to crowd around the guys.

CONTINUED: ( 2)

But it's too late. Stranz and Fairchild stand alone, scowling. Katie steps up, intrigued by the scene.

Chazz stops walking and leans against a wall with a heavy sigh.

The reporters immediately leave Chazz and follow Jimmy and Coach. Chazz tries to catch up without looking too awkward. Coach starts filling out a sign up sheet.

There is a beat of silence, then an explosion of comments and questions from the media. Jimmy and Chazz can't help but smile as they elbow their way up to the table to sign in.

Chazz, pumped, walks with Jimmy and Coach through the lot.

Yes, mind bottling. It's when something is so crazy it's got your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle.

Chazz just shakes his head and walks off.

NEWSPAPERS spin into frame: 1) PAN DOWN from the main headline to the bottom right-hand corner, and a tiny headline reading, "Forgotten Rivals Team Up." 2) PAN UP from the headline to the top left-hand corner, "Icemen Cometh, Story D- 43." 3) The New York Post backpage banner headline, "FAGS?"

Stranz and Fairchild, reading the papers, are getting side by side massages on tables set up in their living room. Katie sits in a chair and is engrossed in the paper she holds.

Katie stops laughing when she hears no response. She lowers her paper to see Stranz and Fairchild glaring at her.

Fairchild snaps.

Stranz pauses. He looks at the two masseuses.

The masseuses quickly exit.

Katie notices Stranz and Fairchild staring at her.

Katie, looking guilt-ridden, nods.

Katie exits. Fairchild wrinkles up her nose in disgust.

Coach stands in the center of the rink. Jimmy is off to one side, skating in little nervous circles. Chazz is off to the other side, sitting on the ice. Neither will make eye contact. Coach takes a deep breath.

Chazz and Jimmy tentatively come to center ice. But Chazz holds up his finger to "wait one minute," then skates to the side and punches the padded wall. He skates back to Jimmy. With great reluctance, they go to join hands, but end up wrestling for top position.

Jimmy drops his hand and just gives Chazz an "I can't believe I'm hearing this" look.

ANGLE ON THE RAFTERS

Katie, sitting on a catwalk high above the rink, trains her video camera on the guys.

CAMERA POV

Jimmy bends over and throws his body into a handstand.

BACK ON THE RINK

Jimmy pivots from one hand to the other.

But Chazz is already doing a handstand of his own.

CONTINUED: (2)

Chazz and Jimmy jump out of the handstands and skate off. Coach just sighs and takes a seat on a bench.

IN THE RAFTERS

Katie watches through her DV camera. She works her way down a ladder for a better vantage point.

ON THE ICE - MOMENTS LATER

CLOSE ON: Jimmy and Chazz in starter positions.

WIDEN ON: Jimmy and Chazz skating toward two folding chairs. They jump them like hurdles and keep skating toward ...

A second set of "hurdles" -- two sets of double-stacked folding chairs. Chazz clears his set, Jimmy grazes the top of his.

The final hurdle -- the rink's dividing wall. Both men make -- huge leaps, but Jimmy catches on the wall and falls. Chazz clears the wall, but can't stop his momentum.

As he SLAMS right into a locker bay.

ICE RINK SNACK BAR - MOMENTS LATER

Chazz holds up an ice cube.

Chazz puts the ice cube behind his back, clenches his ass cheeks and crushes the cube.

CONTINUED: ( 3)

He laughs as he dumps the ice chips into a glass of water. Coach watches this with dismay.

BLEACHERS - CONTINUOUS

Katie peeks through some bleachers with her camera. She works her way closer to the ice for an unobstructed view.

ON THE ICE - MOMENTS LATER

Chazz and Jimmy are at opposite ends of the ice.

Chazz skates full speed at Jimmy. Chazz leaps into Jimmy's arms, and Jimmy tries to lift him but can't. They collapse to the ice. Coach steps up as they rub their bruises.

Chazz snickers at this. Jimmy is bummed.

Coach storms off. Now it's Chazz's turn to be bummed. The guys get up and start off the ice.

Chazz and Jimmy turn to see Katie on her butt on the ice. She tries to shove her video camera under the bleachers as the guys rush over. She sits on the ice, rubbing her butt. * Chazz nods at her butt sexily.

Katie doesn't look exactly sold as Jimmy steps in. *

JIMMY *

That was a hard fall. Are you okay? *

Jimmy gets down to help Katie up. Their eyes meet and there * is a definite connection. Chazz stands hovering in the near * background. *

KATIE *

Thanks for your concern, but I'm fine. *

Katie uses her foot to kick the camera under the bleachers. *

Katie cringes at her own words.

CONTINUED: (2)

Chazz leans in between them. *

CHAZZ * I should probably explain. I didn't mean * any offense. It's just that I'm a sex * addict. *

Neither JilTimy nor Katie even glance over. *

CHAZZ * (mournful sigh) *

Chazz slowly skates away, trying his damnedest to look * soulful, sexy and tortured all at once. *

CONTINUED: ( 3)

Katie nods involuntarily.

Katie nods again. She looks back at her video camera guiltily. Jimmy smiles at her.

CHAZZ {O.S.) Let's go, cocksmoker!

Red-faced, Jimmy turns and heads off. Katie grins despite herself.

Jimmy sits with Coach and Kim at the dinner table. They're in the middle of a nice big dinner.

WIDEN TO see Chazz is on a treadmill set up next to the table. He's walking along, sucking wind.

Chazz looks embarrassed he said this in front of Coach and Kim. He turns to them.

{CONTINUED)

They give "Pshaw," "none taken" gestures.

(sings)

"If the Russians love their children too." Are you guys going to wear something like that at Nationals?

Chazz snorts derisively.

I'm the wolf, you're little red riding hood.

BAM! Coach slams his hand down on the table.

(MORE)

CONTINUED: ( 2)

Chazz and Jimmy sit on a bench. Kim is literally prancing around on the carpeted area before them.

Kim runs in a loop.

He runs in another loop, then lays out on the floor, arms stretched out above him.

Coach claps appreciatively. Chazz and Jimmy clap politely, definitely not sold.

I think it's for "Bull-shit." *

Chazz turns to see Coach is right in his face. *

Coach walks off.

Chazz and Jimmy skate in waltz position. Kim walks around the ice, clapping his hands to keep rhythm. Coach oversees.

The guys make a turn, but they head in opposite directions, right into each other. They hit the ice.

The guys get to their feet and we

A SERIES OF SCENES

1) The guys trying to skate together. Kim skates alongside, literally pushing them closer together.

2) The guys take a turn, but Jimmy goes crashing into and over the wall.

3) Katie, hiding in a locker, videotapes them.

4) Chazz on the treadmill. He's clearly less winded. Widen

H

to see everyone is watching "The Cutting Edge.

5) The guys pull off a nice move.

6) Kim runs around in his butterfly pattern. Chazz and Jimmy mirror him.

7) Chazz is sharpening a skate. Sparks fly. Jimmy is * getting annoyed at waiting and sticks his skate on the wheel * at the same time, causing even more sparks to fly. *

8) A POV shot from Katie's camera. It's a close up of Jimmy skating. Reverse to see a mini-camera stuck in a plant. We * follow the wire out a window to the parking lot where Katie rncnitors it with a smile.

9) Chazz is now jogging nicely on the treadmill. He looks slimmer, but seems to be crying. Widen to see everyone is watching "Ice Castles." Everyone but Coach is crying.

10) Chazz and Jimmy move around the ice in sync. Coach and Kim look very pleased. The guys go to make a turn, but fumble it and fall down.

Coach storms up to them.

Coach rejoins Kim as the guys prepare to skate.

Stranz and Fairchild sit together in one of those big round chairs and watch Katie's video. Fairchild clutches some stuffed animals. A shot of Jimmy stretching plays for a while on screen. Katie can't help but smile.

Katie watches for a moment then can feel Stranz and Fairchild's gaze. She turns to see them glaring at her.

Their final routine is next ...

They all turn back to the screen. Chazz and Jimmy are skating now. Stranz and Fairchild watch intently. On screen, Chazz and Jimmy wobble a bit. Stranz and Fairchild light up.

Whoa, that'll cost them on the judge's scorecards.

Stranz looks at Fairchild lovingly. He traces his finger down her cleavage.

Fairchild tickles his chest and then his stomach.

Stranz and Fairchild hop up and run to the bedroom leaving Katie alone watching the TV. She smiles when Jimmy comes on.

SUPERIMPOSE: Madison Square Garden *

The marquee announces the "National Skating Championships."

DICK BUTTON AND SCOTT HAMILTON sit in their booth.

Scott Hamilton looks over to Dick Button, who is staring at * him with a giant grin on his face. Scott just sighs. *

Skaters move in and out of the locker rooms, all dressed in their garish costumes. It looks like the Warner's Commissary in the thirties, with people dressed like Antony and Cleopatra, Jeannie and Major Nelson, a football player and a cheerleader, etc. The men's locker room door opens and everyone turns and becomes immediately silent.

Chazz and Jimmy walk out. Chazz is wearing a leather jacket and has his hair poufed up. Jimmy has his hair poufed as well and is wearing a blousy shirt. A SKATER looks them over.

Chazz and Jimmy head to the rink. They hear the closing notes of "Gangsta's Paradise." Stranz and Fairchild leave the ice, dressed as gang bangers. Stranz has a toy pistol in his waistband and Fairchild is wearing a spangly do-rag. The crowd is cheering them wildly. Stranz catches Chazz and Jimmy's eye then makes a show of cupping his ear to listen to the crowd.

A smirking P.A. who has overheard all of this steps up.

CLOSE ON: Two pairs of men's skates step onto the ice.

The jeering fans rise, tasting a fiasco. Jimmy and Chazz are obscured by the waving banners and blinding spotlights as they take their positions center ice.

SIDELINES

Coach watches intensely. A rock of support.

After a long, arduous moment, the noise dies down. It is replaced by the opening notes of Hall and Oates "She's Gone."

THE ICE

We hear scattered chuckles from the crowd. Jimmy and Chazz exchange scowls before pushing off in a synchronized, one- footed glide.

They come together in a waltz dance. They move around the rink together, gaining speed, their feet a half step out of sync. They shoot each other irritated looks.

With each "She's gone," Jimmy skates away from Chazz. But he does it hesitantly, still not happy being the "she."

Jimmy and Chazz then speed upand turn in preparation for the first double axel. They jump,spin twice in tight, synchronized coils, and land. The laughter ceases. Jimmy and Chazz lock eyes and nod.

Jimmy and Chazz gain speed for another jump, this time it's a triple. They take off into the air and hit the three spins like they're nothing. The crowd goes wild.

Jimmy and Chazz skate to opposite ends of the rink for their final jump. Jimmy turns, skates quickly toward Chazz. Chazz readies himself. Jimmy jumps. Chazz catches him and raises him overhead.

Jimmy spreads his arms and Chazz spins them around. Cameras flash all over the arena. Chazz lowers Jimmy and then swings him around in a classic dip. The crowd erupts!

SIDELINES

Jimmy and Chazz are pumped. They fly off the ice into Coach's arms.

Coach just holds up his hand to wait a second. *

COACH * Hang on, hang on. *

They all turn to see the huge scores appear on the board: "5.9, 5.8, 5.9, 5.9, 5.8." *

The crowd goes wild. So do Chazz and Jimmy.

Chazz and Jimmy high five and go to hug Coach. Coach holds \'-"' them off, though .

--- ------- -----··---

Coach walks off. The guys have had the wind taken out of their sails a bit.

Stranz and Fairchild sit across a desk from DR. RAINES, an unnaturally tanned plastic surgeon with unnaturally full blonde hair. Katie sits in a folding chair behind them.

Fairchild turns to Stranz.

He gives them a big thumbs up and heads out.

As Katie slumps we

'--"' Coach sits on the couch, watching an old tape of Stranz and Fairchild, skating as Sonny and Cher. Chazz and Jimmy enter.

Chazz and Jimmy look a little bummed, but Coach is leaning back with a smile.

The guys hit the ice. A driving rock song accompanies a series of scenes of the new routine coming together.

1) The guys, skating full speed, grabbing arms and whipping each other in rapid circles.

2) The guys leap frogging each other, getting more and more air.

3) Coach watching, pleased.

4) Chazz slides on his knees. Jimmy does a flip over him. They high five, then glare ateach other and skate in opposite directions.

5) Coach stands before a chalkboard in his living room. He diagrams a move for the guys as the music cuts out.

The guys look a little unsettled at the name. *

CUT TO: *

ICE RINK

Quick shots of Chazz skating at Jimmy and leaping into Jimmy's arms for a kind of flying cartwheel move. Both keep 1.._,,· falling to the ice -- they just can't pull it off.

The place is decorated for Christmas. Jimmy and Coach are in the kitchen, making eggnog. Chazz enters and goes to the freezer. He pulls out a bag of frozen peas and sticks it down the front of his pants.

Coach looks worried.

Neither guy seems wild about this.

The guys look at the eggy concoction less than thrilled. Coach exits. Jimmy notices something out the window.

Chazz joins him. They see Katie moving boxes into a house across the street.

Chazz smooths his hair and starts for the door. Jimmy trails after him.

Chazz sprays some Binaca in his mouth, then rubs some into his wrists.

Jimmy grabs Chazz to stop him from going outside.

They continue to wrestle, falling to the floor.

Jimmy lets Chazz go. Chazz stands and straightens himself. He takes a deep breath.

Chazz grabs Jimmy's face and pushes him down. He races out and shuts the door behind him, then wedges a lawnchair against the door.

\..- Chazz hustles up to Katie who is carrying a box inside.

Santa come early this year?

it.

and both times you've mentioned it.

Jimmy runs up.

Chazz does one of his dramatic sighs.

you're all alone in it.

Jimmy and Katie stare at him a short beat then turn back to each other.

CONTINUED: ( 2)

Suddenly, two hands grab Chazz and Jimmy by scruff of the neck. It's Coach and he looks pissed. He drags them off.

Katie sits alone in her nearly empty house. There are a few boxes lying around and a small, electric Christmas tree. She eats ice cream from a big carton and looks across the street.

KATIE'S POV

Coach's house looks very merry. We can see Chazz, Jimmy, Coach and Kim inside hanging lights.

BACK ON KATIE

She picks up her cell phone and hits a button.

INTERCUT WITH:

The table is set for a romantic Christmas Eve meal. Fairchild is dressed in a very sexy Santa outfit and is feeding Stranz by hand when the phone rings. Stranz answers.

Stranz shuts off his phone. He turns to see Fairchild dangling mistletoe over her cleavage.

Chazz, Jimmy, Coach and Kim continue to hang Christmas lights. They've gone way overboard -- lights are everywhere. Blue, red and white flickering lights border the mantelpiece, the moulding and frame all of Coach's paintings. Kim pulls out a string of the classic bubbling light bulbs. (For the unassimilated Jews, these are remarkably phallic with a glass tube that bubble upwards as the light heats up).

Coach looks at the bubble lights and blushes.

Coach and Kim laugh warmly at the memory. Chazz and Jimmy look a little uncomfortable. Suddenly the room goes dark.

Katie is holding some bolt cutters and has clearly broken the electricity panel to shit. She looks proud and drops the severed cable she was holding. It whips around and sparks with electricity and she quickly jumps away.

We can just see the figures of Chazz and Jimmy getting up and stumbling towards the hall.

It's nearly pitch black. We can hear the guys stumble along.

As they go down the hall you can see a glow emanating from their room.

Jimmy hustles into the room and comes out brandishing the blacklight like a light saber and making light saber noise.

Jimmy goes across the hall to Coach and Kim's bedroom. Chazz follows. They both stop short the moment they enter. Their amazed faces are illuminated by the blacklight glow. Gary * Wright's "Dreamweaver" begins its spacey introduction. *

REVERSE ANGLE

The room filled with what looks like thousands of little white comet streaks. They are everywhere. The floors, the walls, the furniture, the ceiling. It's like an asteroid shower. Chazz and Jimmy turn to take in the room, making it seem like the room is spinning psychedelically, with the streaks looking like they are moving across the sky and reflecting on Chazz and Jimmy's face as the song continues.

They just look on in amazement as the song continues.

Chazz and Jimmy are on the ice. Coach, looking a bit tired, walks up.

Jimmy can't help but laugh.

Chazz and Jimmy snap into their serious mode and skate to center ice.

Coach just explodes.

Chazz leans in helpfully.

Jimmy stares at Chazz in disbelief.

Chazz gets pissed off and gets in his face.

Jimmy gets right back in Chazz's face.

Coach storms off. The door slams shut.

Chazz skates away.

Chazz starts doing a mincing parody of Jimmy's style.

Now Chazz is rigidly moving around like a robot. Jimmy skates out too. He snaps his fingers in Chazz's rock out way and skates in an exaggerated version of Chazz's style -- lots of tough guy expressions with ass shaking and finger guns.

CONTINUED: (2)

Now Jimmy is doing awkward pelvic thrusts.

Chazz gets right in Jimmy's face.

This really sets Chazz off.

This stops Jimmy cold.

Chazz slides down to the ice, his back against the wall.

A FLASHBACK

The frozen lake we saw in the prologue. We see the dark haired boy skating a solid routine. A few kids are watching.

Chazz ignores the other kids. It's obvious he's playing to a crowd of two -- a young DarrenMacelroy and his wife. Chazz nails his final move and holdsup his arms triumphantly. Darren and his wife rush overto young Chazz.

This is it. The moment young Chazz has been waiting for.

Darren gives a big knowing smile.

Before the word is out of his mouth, though, Darren's view of Chazz is blocked by three year old Jimmy. Jimmy has obviously taken what Chazz taught him and run with it.

He looks and skates like a little angel -- fluid, graceful and capable of moves an adult would be challenged by. Darren and his wife are immediately smitten.

Young Chazz can see where this is going. He turns his antics up a notch but the parents only have eyesfor the little boy who goes into the amazing spin move Chazzshowed him how to do earlier.

Darren and his wife sweep little Jimmy up in their arms as young Chazz watches, devastated at first, then pissed. Some of the other kids skate up to him, sympathetic, but Chazz shakes them off and turns and skates away. The Father skates up to Chazz.

Chazz looks like a ball of twisted rage.

And with Chazz's first grandiloquent speech about his pain and loneliness out of the way, he skates off.

Jimmy looks down sympathetically at Chazz. Chazz springs to his feet.

Chazz quickly skates away.

Most of the lights are out and all is quiet. That is until we hear keys unsuccessfully trying to unlock the door.

Coach enters from the kitchen and opens the door.

Coach pulls him in then shuts the door.

Coach shoves Chazz into a chair.

Coach just sits down and stares at Chazz, who isn't so drunk that he isn't a bit disturbed by this.

Chazz looks shocked at this.

Coach walks to the back leaving Chazz alone.

Jimmy is on the ice, stretching. Chazz shows up with two coffees. Jimmy eyes him warily as he approaches.

\.,..., Chazz smiles then chucks the coffee into the trash.

ANGLE ON THE TRASH CAN

Katie is inside with her camera. She tries to wipe the hot coffee off as quietly as she can.

BACK ON THE RINK

Coach hits the ice.

Chazz and Jimmy start their routine. They both seem a little awkward with each other. They talk as they skate.

Chazz's neutral coolness cracks slightly with a smile.

Chazz turns a little away. Jimmy realizes he might have been a little too sharp.

Chazz looks back. Jimmy gives a slight smile. They are now really skating in sync.

CONTINUED: ( 2)

Chazz lights up with recognition.

The guys are skating with a smoothness and effortlessness we haven't seen before.

Coach is beaming. This is what he's been waiting for.

The guys look to each other and nod.

They separate and both build up speed. Then they suddenly skate at each other and grab each other's arms sending each other in a physics defying cartwheel where each one sails through the air and then both stick their landing just inches from each other.

IT IS REMARKABLE!

Chazz and Jimmy high five. Coach rushes over and gets them in a bear hug.

ANGLE ON TRASH CAN

Katie videotapes the celebration. She wipes a tear from her eye, then some mustard from her arm and fingers.

Jimmy is getting dressed up. He's like a teenage girl the way he keeps putting on shirts, looking in the mirror and yanking them off in frustration. Chazz walks in holding the blacklight.

Jimmy quickly tosses on a dress shirt. Chazz can tell something' s up.

Jimmy gives a smile and leaves happily. When Jimmy is gone Chazz goes over to Jimmy's bureau and takes his bottle of Tale and Mane and heads off to the shower.

Jimmy, clutching some banana bread, knocks on the door. Katie opens the door halfway.

He hands her the banana loaf.

Katie looks back into the house, which is filled with surveillance equipment and photographs of Jimmy and Chazz.

Jimmy musters up his nerve.

Katie is too overwhelmed to speak. She just nods like an idiot. Jimmy giggles. The two of them giggle and nod.

Christmas lights twinkle around this small outdoor rink set up in the center of town. Jimmy guides Katie onto the ice.

They begin to skate. Katie is obviously a very good skater and quickly picks up the pace. Jimmy is clearly surprised at how well Katie skates.

Although Katie is trying to chuckle at the memory of her brother mocking her, she can't pull it off.

This clearly affects Jimmy.

They look into each other's eyes.

·-..._,, Celine Dion starts playing over the loudspeaker, and Katie and Jimmy skate with intensity together. He dips her in a wide circle and people stop skating to watch them. Their bodies yield to each other with complete unity. It's like they were made to skate together. After a cradle move, Jimmy guides Katie up and then skates off into a solo spin move. He arches his back so he can watch her as he spins. He comes out of the move and stares across the ice at Katie. Inspired, he holds his arms out like wings and begins gently flapping them. He cranes his neck out to create an even more swan like look. With each flap he gets closer and closer to Katie. His flapping beckons her towards him.

Katie doesn't see this as the most ridiculous thing she's ever seen, she thinks it's magnificent. She glides towards Jimmy until he is able to enfold her in his wings.

Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" starts to play over the loudspeaker.

CONTINUED: (2)

Katie enters and falls against her door with a happy smile.

Katie turns on the light to see Stranz and Fairchild.

Fairchild hits play on the VCR. Tape plays of Chazz and Jimmy nailing the Kimspin.

Katie shrinks against this onslaught.

Fairchild places a tender hand on Katie's shoulder.

This rattles Katie. Stranz also looks a bit surprised and disturbed by this but carries on.

CONTINUED: (2)

STRANZ

,._,.; Well, wait. There actually is another

way. A violent dangerous way that can only end painfully for your little skate pals. Is that what you want sis?

Katie shakes her head "no."

Katie looks beaten. She nods.

We are flying over a huge outdoor stadium, filled to capacity. Thousands of camera flashes twinkle below.

SUPERIMPOSE: World Winter Games, Saskatchewan, 2006 *

A Torch-bearer runs onto a stage at the center of the stadium.

ANGLE ON:

The torch-bearer, Jason Priestley, on the stage. He holds up a hockey puck and lights it with the torch.

A Games Official hands Priestley a hockey stick. Jason smacks the flaming puck. It sails through the air and ignites a huge FLAME on top of the stadium. The CROWD ERUPTS.

IN THE STANDS

Jimmy and Chazz cheer with their fellow countrymen. They all wear matching fur-lined stocking caps and suits with slowflake-patterned bowties.

It's Media Day and tables are set up all around the massive room. Athletes sit at the tables to be interviewed by reporters. But no one is interviewing Stranz, Fairchild or pretty much anyone else. Everyone is gathered around Chazz and Jimmy, who are clearly enjoying themselves.

JIMMY * More like a land bridge. Of course when

we first started Chazz's gut was like a * continent. *

Chazz laughs and pulls up his shirt and shows off his flat stomach.

The reporters laugh. A SURLY LOOKING REPORTER stands.

Jimmy looks a little stung. Chazz tries to backtrack.

Chazz is trying to figure a way out. Jimmy jumps in. *

CONTINUED: ( 2)

JIMMY * I've got one thing to say: The past is * the past but Chazz and I are the future, * and the future is NOW! *

The reporters are blown away by Jimmy's emotion. He smiles * and turns to Chazz who also starts to smile. *

CHAZZ * (finally got it) * Yeah, but what you guys can't wrap your * mind around is how crazy passionate the * hangers in my closet are. *

Chazz looks completely satisfied. *

Chazz and Jimmy are both pumped. They high-five. Then Chazz * checks his watch. *

CHAZZ * I gotta run. SAA meeting. *

Chazz takes off. Before Jimmy can head off a DELIVERY MAN

comes hustling up to him. *

JIMMY * Uh, yeah. *

The delivery man hands Jimmy a package. He opens it, * revealing some hot cocoa packets. Jimmy reads the note.

ANGLE ON NOTE

It says: Jimmy, my room tonight at midnight. We'll drink hot cocoa and wish on a star. Love, Katie

Jimmy smiles.

A junior college classroom. There are about eight to ten men and women gathered around in a circle. They look like an average bunch of middling looking people. They're not in particularly good shape, but neither are most people. Chazz is giving a soulful oratory.

Chazz puts his head in his hands. A FEMALE SEX ADDICT uncrosses her legs and leans forward.

There is something in her voice. It isn't a question, it's a come on. The COUNSELOR notices it and looks warily at his group who have all started shifting in their seats.

The group looks like it could turn into an orgy at the drop of a hat. There's a lot of inadvertent rubbing and eye darts. The Counselor sees a brush fire about to turn wild.

The Counselor looks around quickly. They seem to be calming down and settling back in their seats.

The group shifts forward. The Counselor looks worried.

It's like beating back the ocean with a broom but it does get the group in line.

At that moment the door opens and Katie hurries in. Every guy in the place immediately perks up. They all make room for her, but she sits next to Chazz, who looks shocked, worried and happy all at once.

Chazz looks at Katie. He can't believe it. *

The sex addicts mill outside the entrance, drinking coffee * and smoking cigarettes. They've all paired up and a few are * making out. Chazz stands next to Katie, still blown away. *

CHAZZ * You're a sex addict too? *

KATIE * Sex. Sex. Sex. What can I say?

CHAZZ * You said it all. Such a burden. *

Katie flips her hair and leans sexily towards Chazz. *

KATE * Yeah. Why don't you come to my room * tonight and we can comfort each other? * 11:55 sharp. *

She walks away with Chazz staring at her the whole time. He * doesn't even notice that other sex addicts have really started getting serious.

Suddenly, BRIGHT HEADLIGHTS illuminate all the sex addicts. * We see the counselor lean out of the car as he honks.

COUNSELOR * C'mon, break it up! *

They all scatter like rats in different directions. *

Chazz still just stands there, a lone figure looking out in * the distance at Katie's swaying ass.

Jimmy isfast asleep. Chazz checks his watch and gets up from his bed.He pauses at the door and takes one last look at his friend. Once he leaves, Jimmy's eyes spring open.

Chazz arrives and knocks on the door. He reads from his palm.

The door opens, revealing Katie, dressed only in a teddy.

CHAZZ {CONT'D) (lustful gasp)

She instantly bursts into tears but quickly pulls herself back together.

Chazz enters the room.

Jimmy exits a cab with a big bouquet of flowers.

The room is romantically lit. Sexy music on the stereo. A champagne bucket sits on the floor beside the bed. Chazz is trying to maintain, but the mood is getting the best of him.

Chazz looks up at Katie. She's so hot in that negligee. He's sweating and stammering now.

Katie cringes at the sound of herself trying to be a vixen.

Chazz sits down on the edge of the bed. He looks up. Katie is seated directly beside him.

Chazz reaches out grabs Katie's breasts at the exact same moment he blurts:

Jimmy, about to knock on Katie's door, sees the door is slightly ajar.

Jimmy opens the door and sees ...

Katie and Chazz are stillon the bed. They look up and see Jimmy and suddenly noticethat Chazz's hands are still on her breasts. Katie swats hishands away.

Jimmy charges Chazz. Chazz retreats as Jimmy trips on the champagne bucket and crashes through the bedside table.

Jimmy attacks again.

Jimmy stands before Chazz, his fists clenched.

Jimmy fights back his rage, then turns and runs out of the room.

They run into the hall in time to see the elevator close.

Jimmy runs out of the hotel. After a moment, Chazz and Katie run out too. Jimmy is nowhere to be seen.

Chazz sits awake on his bed. The alarm goes off. He looks to Jimmy's bed. It hasn't been slept in. Chazz sighs.

The pairs program is underway. We see several shots of teams on the ice.

1) A couple dressed as Sid and Nancy skate around with big fake smiles plastered on their faces.

2) Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein -- big smiles!

3) A couple dressed like Grant Wood's American Gothic -- even bigger smiles!

4) Stranz and Fairchild, dressed as John Smith and Pocahontas, grab hands and twirl together in a solid pairs spin. Their names move into first place on the scoreboard. They flash the biggest smiles yet.

ANGLE ON THE SIDELINES

Chazz, wearing a doctor's outfit, paces impatiently. Coach nervously checks his watch.

Chazz just looks away.

They all turn to see Jimmy, also dressed like a doctor, approach.

Jimmy blows by him. Coach looks concerned but the music, Foreigner's "Urgent," starts to play. Chazz has no choice but to follow Jimmy onto the ice.

The guys start their routine. The crowd is already cheering. Jimmy is stone faced. They come together in a clinch.

The guys skate apart.

ANGLE ON STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD

Listening to the crowd cheering the guys on. They are clearly not happy. Fairchild rips the head off one of her stuffed animals.

ANGLE ON THE SIDELINES

Coach watches with Kim.

Kim looks disappointed as Coach signals the guys.

Before Chazz can respond, the final notes of the song hit and the guys strike their final poses.

The crowd rises to their feet and cheers loudly. Jimmy quickly skates off the ice ahead of Chazz.

Jimmy stops and looks up at Katie who is leaning over the stands with a pleading look. He turns away and hurries off. Their scores are announced.

Chazz and Katie exchange a look as Jimmy disappears down the runway.

Fairchild lays on her bed, totally depressed. Stranz sits on his bed, head in hands. A copy of the newspaper lies between them. Chazz and Jimmy are pictured on the front page.

Stranz stands, determined.

Stranz smiles.

Now Fairchild smiles. After a moment, they both stop smiling, unsure.

FAIRCHILD * Internet'? *

STRANZ * Right. I'll just type in "Thug * Saskatchewan." No, what we need is an

expert. I mean, when you've got a leak * you call a plumber. * (has an idea) * And I think I've got just the plumber to * call. *

CLOSE ON Stranz. He's talking to someone across from him.

REVERSE to see Stranz is talking to TONYA HARDING. She shakes her head.

Stranz gets up and walks through the bar. He passes a big guy.

The big guy just turns away. Stranz is completely exasperated. He yells out:

Nobody reacts. Defeated, Stranz exits.

Chazz gets out of a cab and he'sdressed like a bull with little horns and a swishy tail. He fishes out his wallet and pays the cabbie.

The Cabbie pulls away. Chazz turns and is immediately smacked on the head with a sap.

We widen to see Stranz is his attacker. Stranz panics and start swatting madly at Chazz's head. It looks annoying and very painful but it's not knocking Chazz out. Chazz is about to turn around when a large hunk of wood whacks him across the head. Standing there is Fairchild, but she's not holding anything. Tonya Harding, on the other hand, is holding the hunk of wood.

Tonya walks away leaving Stranz and Fairchild to pick up and cram Chazz into the trunk of a car. It's not easy but they eventually shove/roll him into it. Stranz slams the door shut but it makes a yucky soft thud sound instead of the crisp metal sound of a trunk shutting. He looks in the trunk and winces. He then does some rearranging of all the shit in the trunk so that Chazz can actually fit. This time it closes.

Chazz, unconscious and still dressed in his bull costume, is on the floor trussed up with rope so his legs are stuck under him and his arms are restricted. He also seems to be tied to a large Molson Beer Moose advertisement. His eyes flutter open. He struggles to stand and realizes he's all tied up.

CHAZZ * What~.~ Where am I? *

He looks around the room and finally notices that Stranz is * behind him putting the finishing knot in the rope that ties him to the moose. Stranz is wearing a sixties era suit and tie and his hair is brylcreamed to the side.

Chazz snaps. *

Stranz just shakes his head.

The truth of his predicament dawns on Chazz. Stranz just calmly walks around as if he's Olivier doing Shakespeare.

Stranz laughs and shakes his head.

Chazz actually looks a little impressed by this soliloquy. He slouches and glowers as dramatically as he can.

For some reason, this puts Stranz a bit on the defensive.

Chazz continues to play it supercool.

Chazz stops, Stranz's outfit finally registering.

CONTINUED: ( 2)

Stranz opens the door and starts out.

Stranz exits and closes the door behind him. Chazz immediately loses his cool veneer and starts trying to rip free from his bonds.

The finals have started. A couple dressed like aliens skate to the theme from "2001 A Space Odyssey."

ANGLE ON THE SIDELINES

Jimmy, wearing a matador outfit, stretches as Coach walks up, pissed.

Jimmy shrugs like a sullen teenager. Coach looks like he wants to clock Jimmy when Katie comes up.

Jimmy starts off but Coach grabs him.

Jimmy stays but refuses to make eye contact with Katie.

Jimmy looks hard into Katie's eyes. He can see she's telling the truth.

Jimmy and Katie hug and kiss.

\.,../

CONTINUED: ( 2)

They all look over to see Fairchild, who's signing autographs.

Chazz has managed to break off a moose leg and scoot in his trussed up manner over to the door. He's using his chin to try and turn the doorknob.

Click -- the door opens. Chazz scoots out and finds himself on the ice of a rundown skating rink. The exit is across the rink. Chazz scoots like mad towards it.

Across the rink, next to the Zamboni shed, stands Stranz witnessing Chazz's determined scooting. He checks his watch and then shakes his head.

BACK ON CHAZZ

He's actually making decent progress when a sound makes him stop. He cocks his head, then turns and looks behind him.

A Zamboni is bearing down on him. Stranz is driving, murder in his eyes. Chazz scoots as quickly as he can but the Zamboni is too fast. At the last possible second, Chazz scoots to the side. The Zamboni whizzes past, but starts to turn to come back for the kill.

Chazz notices an old pair of skates on the ice. He slides over to them, and by wedging them against the wall of the rink gets enough leverage to start cutting his ropes against the blades. It's slow going, though, and the Zamboni is bearing down on him again when, Snap! the rope cuts.

Chazz quickly stands and races off the rink just before the Zamboni crashes into the wall. Chazz stumbles outside while Stranz angrily climbs down from the Zamboni.

Chazz limps outside. He's in a crappy, abandoned part of town. He looks to the left then turns to the right to see Stranz running at him and swinging his sap like a madman.

Chazz looks off to his side. There is a steep hill that leads down to the frozen river that runs through the city. He makes a dash for it, pausing just long enough to grab an old pair of skates lying in a pile. He then leaps over the railing and rolls down the hill towards the ice. Stranz looks over the railing. He laughs at Chazz, who sits at the bottom of the hill, putting on the skates.

But Chazz just shoots Stranz a bird and skates off down the river. Stranz looks off in the direction Chazz is skating. He sees the dome of the skating arena in the distance.

Stranz races to his car and peels out.

Jimmy, Coach and Katie plead with a Canadian Mountie while Fairchild affects her most innocent demeanor.

Monty salutes. Fairchild smiles until the Mountie Mascot is gone. Then she looks deeply worried. She reaches for her cell-phone. It is pink with fake diamonds all over it. It looks like something a rich Barbie would use.

Chazz races towards the arena. A pair of recreational skaters are wowed by a man in the bull costume whizzing by. Chazz zips around a bend in the river and frowns. Just ahead, Stranz has parked at the edge of the ice. He finishes lacing up his skates, then moves onto the ice blocking Chazz's path.

Chazz lowers himself into a crouch and picks up speed. Stranz seems unconcerned. He pulls his hand out from behind his back and Chazz sees he's holding a big metal pipe.

Stranz winds up to swing, but at the last second, Chazz veers off the ice and jumps onto the river's embankment. He does a sickening face plant into the grass. Stranz smiles until he sees Chazz get up and start to hobble off. Alarmed, Stranz follows. A very slow, careful chase on land ensues.

Chazz awkwardly crosses a street. His blade gets stuck in a grate. Stranz slowly makes his way closer. Chazz just manages to get free, He gingerly takes off, Stranz on his tail.

We hear Snoop Dogg saying, "Ring shnizzinga ding" coming out of Stranz's pocket. It's his cell phone. He checks the number and flips it open impatiently.

Stranz puts away the phone and continues hobbling after Chazz.

Up ahead, some skateboarders are sliding down a stair railing. Chazz hops up and balances carefully as he slides down on his skates. Stranz follows but slips and lands on his nuts.

Chazz hits the ice of the river again. Reveling in being back in his element, Chazz lets out a victory cheer.

He then notices several young children skating nearby.

Chazz looks up and immediately hits the brakes. Ahead of him, the ice ends at a bridge under construction.

(then, to kids)

Shit, sorry!

A concrete stairwayleads off the ice. Chazz starts climbing up as best he can. Over his shoulder, he sees Stranz rapidly approaching.

It's hard to remember to lift his feet enough to clear the skate blades, so Chazz keeps tripping. Finally, he gets to street level and finds himself at the entrance to a mall. He looks for a way around but hears the whoosh of Stranz's pipe. Chazz rushes inside.

Chazz skate/walks across the marble floor. Stranz is in close pursuit. They hit an escalator. They both try to climb the steps but it's wobbly from the escalator grooves. At the top, Chazz looks around and then awkwardly gets on the * down escalator. Stranz swats at him as they pass but can't * balance well enough to get Chazz. Stranz gets to the top and * follows Chazz on the down escalator. *

Chazz runs down a small embankmentand onto the ice again. The arena looms large just ahead. Moments later, Stranz hobbles out, still in pursuit.

Coach is talking to a rink official.

ANGLE ON JIMMY AND KATIE

Waiting nervously.

Katie is touched by this. She's tempted.

Jimmy and Katie hug before they rush off.

Chazz begins to build a lead on Stranz. The arena is just up ahead. He yells over his shoulder.

Chazz whizzes around a corner. His eyes go wide. REVERSE SHOT to see that a mass of yellow caution tape is just ahead, blocking his way. A sign says, "Danger Thin Ice." Beyond the tape, part of the ice has broken away revealing the ice cold river.

Chazz is going too fast to stop. He has no choice but to veer off the ice again. But there's no soft grass here, only a guardrail blocking the way from a steep cliff. Chazz flips over the rail and disappears from view. His screams drift off into the abyss. Stranz skates up and looks over the guardrail.

STPANZ'S POV

Of the steep cliff and nothing else. Chazz is gone. Stranz smiles, then quickly skates away.

Coach walks up to Jimmy and Katie.

Jimmy and Katie are smiling like idiots.

Coach storms off. Jimmy and Katie look a little sheepish.

At that moment, Stranz hurries by. He gives them a smug wave.

Jimmy is about to go after Stranz but Stranz quickly steps onto the ice with Fairchild, who is now dressed up like Marilyn Monroe. Elton John's "Candle in the Wind" plays.

ANGLE ON STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD

Stranz's JFK chases Fairchild's Marilyn Monroe around the ice. Once he catches her, they segue into an extremely sexual routine, mostly involving her skirt billowing up in the Classic Monroe fashion and JFK coming at her from behind.

BACK ON JIMMY AND KATIE

A rink official walks by.

Jimmy and Katie exchange a look. All seems to be lost.

We are CLOSE ON the top edge of the hill Chazz tumbled down. After a beat, a skate appears. It is held in a hand and is being used as a pickaxe. Another skate appears and we see Chazz struggle to hoist himself up.

Stranz and Fairchild skate off the ice, disheveled from their romp and beaming. The crowd cheers loudly all around them.

ANGLE ON ANNOUNCERS' BOOTH

Dick Button and Scott Hamilton in position.

ANGLE ON THE RINK

The Rink Official stands with Coach, Jimmy and Katie. He's checking his watch.

Coach tries to comfort Jimmy.

But Jimmy doesn't look placated by this.

ANGLE ON THE STANDS

At the very top row, a door bursts open and Chazz stumbles in. He's one bedraggled bull. He looks like Dustin Hoffman yelling down to Katherine Ross in "The Graduate," but in a bull costume.

There's no one around to witness this dramatic entrance, though. Chazz looks surprised to be so high up. He runs up to an USHER.

The usher points to the opposite end of the arena. Chazz looks down to the ice.

CHAZZ'S POV

The Rink Official is looking at his watch and shaking his head.

BACK ON CHAZZ

He runs up to the back row of seats.

Everyone turns, shocked to see Chazz standing there in his costume.

And with that, Chazz runs and leaps on top of the crowd. No one was expecting this, though, so Chazz crushes several people but they soon recover and start passing him down over their heads.

(slapping a hand away)

Hey, no freebies!

ANGLE ON THE RINK

The Rink Official is counting down the last seconds. A sudden cheer from the crowd distracts everyone, They look up to see Chazz being passed down the crowd towards them.

Jimmy, Coach and Katie race over to catch Chazz.

RINK OFFICIAL *

Lewis and Macelroy ... You're up!

Coach shoves Jimmy forward. *

COACH *

Get on the ice. *

As Jimmy gets to the center of the rink, the crowd dumps * Chazz onto the ice. He scurries to the center to meet Jimmy. *

CONTINUED: ( 2)

Jimmy nods

The music starts -- Seal's "Kiss From A Rose." Chazz looks confused and slightly panicked as they start to skate, but goes into the routine anyway. They hit their first triple axel and the crowd cheers.

The guys continue their routine. Their joy and camaraderie come through. They're hitting all their marks and the crowd is loving it. At one point, Chazz bends over and Jimmy flies up on top of him so his back is resting on Chazz's back. They spin in opposite directions.

ANGLE ON STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD

Watching, worried. Stranz looks up at the crowd, already on their feet. He sees the judges, who are actually smiling, enjoying the show.

He reaches down into his bag and furtively pulls out a gun.

ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY

They skate together towards one end of the rink.

ANGLE ON STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD

Fairchild notices Stranz twisting a silencer onto his gun and * crouching into a darkened area beneath the stands. She looks * concerned.

Stranz nods. He sees Chazz and Jimmy skating towards them. He carefully takes aim. He's about to pull the trigger when a hand suddenly swings in and grabs the gun. It's Hector!

He yanks the gun away, then points it back to the ice.

Stranz shrugs and happily lets Hector through. Hector hurriedly aims and gets off a shot.

ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY

Skating together.

Chazz winces and grabs his arm. He reels back in pain, nearly knocking Jimmy over. They just manage to recover.

Oooh. What happened there?

ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY

Jimmy's eyes widen.

I shot Chazz! No! I don't want to be joined for eternityto Chazz!

He goes to aim again, but sees the cops rushing over. Hector quickly shoves the gun in Stranz's hands and races off. Before Stranz can react, the cops fly in and tackle him.

ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY

Jimmy notices Chazz's blood is trailing onto the ice.

ANGLE ON THE RINK

Indeed, the judges look less than pleased. The crowd is also out of it a bit.

ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY

Jimmy notices that Chazz is losing more blood on the ice. He looks around the rink.

Jimmy nods and starts to lead Chazz around the ice.

ANGLE ON COACH

Standing with Katie. He looks confused.

Katie looks transfixed though.

ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY

Jimmy is in a zone. He dips Chazz so that Chazz's injured arm is on the ice. He skates in big, dramatic loops with Chazz laid out on the ice below him. The crowd is silent, a little confused.

ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY

Chazz's arm bounces a little on the ice.

Chazz's eyes flutter. He starts hallucinating.

Jimmy dips Chazz again and spins him around in a small quick circle. The song ends and Jimmy lifts Chazz up and they strike a final pose. There is complete silence for a beat. Then, the crowd explodes in a huge cheer. This jolts Chazz back to life. He's mystified by the cheers, but smiles. He then notices some blood on the ice.

Jimmy points to the big overhead TV screens. We see

SHOTS ON THE SCREENS OF A HUGE, PERFECTLY SKATED ROSE.

OVERHEAD SHOT - THE ROSE IN ALL ITS GLORY

Jimmy has used the blood from Chazz's arm to paint a giant red rose on the ice.

BACK ON JIMMY AND CHAZZ

·"- ANGLE ON DICK BUTTON AND SCOTT HAMILTON

PA ANNOUNCER {V.0.) Scores for Lewis and Macelroy: 6.0, 6.0, 6.0, 6.0. Lewis and Macelroy win the gold!

The crowd goes even wilder. Chazz and Jimmy embrace. Katie and Coach rush over and hug them too.

A team of PARAMEDICS comes running up. One starts feverishly * checking Chazz's vitals. *

PARAMEDIC * This man's lost a lot of blood! *

Jimmy excitedly keeps talking. *

PARAMEDIC * We gotta roll! *

CONTINUED: (2)

The other paramedic urgently waves the ambulance to back up * to get to Chazz. *

Darren wrestles his way through the crowd to Jimmy.

Darren tries to embrace Jimmy, but Jimmy holds him off. He holds up his hand and extends the middle finger. Darren looks at the bird, shocked. Jimmy moves his finger off to the left, and Darren follows it with his eyes. POW! Jimmy uses his other hand to deck Darren.

Coach smiles. Katie smiles. Jimmy looks over to Chazz who * is giving him a thumbs up as he's wheeled on a gurney into * the ambulance. *

He turns and gives Katie a long passionate kiss and then * breaks away to hop into the back of the ambulance.

Coach and Kim are standing there with their arms around each * other, smiling happily. *

COACH * You can ride with us, Katie. *

The ambulance pulls out. From inside the ambulance we hear * Chazz's weakening voice. *

Coach, Kim and Katie head for the exit. The ambulance heads * down the length of the arena, then turns into one of the large service exits. As the ambulance turns we reveal Hector * is clinging to the opposite side. He shimmies over to the * back and as the ambulance disappears into the passageway * Hector opens up the back of the ambulance. *

FADE TO BLACK. *