"BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE" (1989)

A brilliant yellow sun beats down on a vast orangeish wasteland. As we begin a long, slow PAN of the desert, the following is SUPERED onto the screen:

"SAN DIMAS, CALIFORNIA"

TITLE FADES, and is replaced by:

"2687 A.D."

Then that TITLE also FADES. Continue PANNING, and finally FINISH. PAN ON:

A CLUSTER OF FUTURISTIC DOMES

which shimmer in the distance.

Soon a distant SOLITARY FIGURE, dressed all in black, silently strides INTO FRAME, dust kicking up behind ‘hin.

As the Figure approaches the largest of the domes, we begin to MOVE IN, and we:

A magnificent, crystalline structure -- like a vast, futuristic cathedral. Everything about this place implies grandeur, solemnity and importance. Deep, metallic MUSIC echoes through the dome as -- TWO HUGE DOORS open, and the Figure enters. This is: RUFUS And he is the personification of everything that is, has been, or will be rock and roll. Cool, cavalier, and cocky, he is dressed very stylishly and wears ultra-hip

sunglasses.

He steps inside the hall, the two huge doors shutting solidly behind him. He begins walking, his footsteps echoing loudly.

He stops in the middle of the room and nods respectfully toward:

THE OTHER END OF THE ROOM

where, for the first time, we SEE three FIGURES, seated in mid-air, as if suspended invisibly. All have long hair and beards (sort of like the members of ZZ Top), wear white, sport dark sunglasses, and slowly tap their feet in rhythm to the echoing, metallic music.

These are the three most important people in the world. ANOTHER ANGLE

Rufus stands, patiently, as the LEADER regally returns his nod and begins to speak, his voice resonating through the

dome.

Rufus nods. The Leader motions toward: THE CENTER OF THE ROOM

where the ceiling begins to iris open, BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT

_ pouring through the widening chasm. Soon the light is

pierced by: A LARGE, BLACK OBELISK

which, barely visible through the brightness, begins to descend toward the floor.

This spectacular explosion of LIGHT and MUSIC reaches a tumultuous crescendo, then suddenly stops. The ceiling irises closed.

THE LEADER

looks at the obelisk, then gestures with his hand and: THE OBELISK |

begins a rapid and magical transformation.

When complete, the obelisk has taken the form of a 1987 PHONE BOOTH. Glass doors, a telephone, the works.

i]

RUFUS AND THE FIGURES

stare reverently at the booth. After a moment, Rufus flips down his shades and turns to the Figures.

Rufus nods and enters -- THE PHONE BOOTH

where he flips through the attached PHONE BOOK and locates a number.

As Rufus lifts the receiver, we SEE a small, two-pronged ANTENNA rise out of the booth and begin to GLOW with a bluish light. Then, with each number Rufus dials, we SEE the BLUE LIGHT from the antenna move down the side of the booth, accompanied by a corresponding CHORD OF HEAVY METAL MUSIC. Finally, we HEAR a DRUM BEAT, and as -- THE BLUE LIGHT | connects with the ground, the floor beneath the booth suddenly opens up with a WHOOSH and, in a brilliant FLASH of BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT and RAUCOUS ROCK AND ROLL ...

--. the booth disappears. The floor immediately closes back up and the light in the dome returns to normal. Now, for the first time, we become aware of: TWO TOWERING PORTRAITS Which hang above the doors on the far side of the dome, dominating the room. They are of two MIDDLE AGED MEN with jong hair and black t-shirts. THE THREE IMPORTANT PEOPLE

Gaze at the portraits, solemn, concerned, and we:

ww

e FADE TO:

DARKNESS

We HEAR the VOICES of our two sixteen-year-old heroes, BILL and TED.

And they plunge into a riff of upbeat "AIR GUITAR" -- the high-pitched falsetto squeal of voices imitating hard rock guitar licks (sounding something like "nyow - nyow - nyow - nyow").

After a few beats, the SOUNDTRACK MUSIC kicks in along with them, and we:

FADE UP ON:

BILL and TED jump INTO FRAME, land on the bus stop bench, and do a series of spasmodic AIR GUITAR riffs. Then, as ‘they leap off the bench TOWARD CAMERA, we begin:

A QUICK SERIES OF SHOTS

In which Bill and Ted do a brief, MTV-type AIR GUITAR mini- concert:

They spin around on their backs; play their air-guitars with their teeth, feet, and ears; trade “solos"; and eo finally, in a resounding conclusion, violently smash their Cc) air-instruments against the ground, garnering strange looks from the few people around then.

They guys look at each other, quite pleased, as the SCHOOL BUS pulls up in front of them.

Bill and Ted crash into one of the back seats. As we will soon see, they are not hard guys. They are, in fact, remarkably benign and good-natured. Both wear rock and roll t-shirts and jeans with boxers pulled out the back.

Of the two, Bill is shorter and darker, with a more angular jaw and a more serious demeanor. He is the "thinker" of the two.

Ted is the “dreamer”. Taller and blondish, and with a wide-eyed, romantic look, Ted is more into the immediate, whether it be food, fun, or, especially, girls.

Ted pulls a construction paper "mock-up" out of his rucksack and unrollis it.

CLOSE ON MOCK-UP

An amateurishly-drawn hard-rock insignia with rearing stallions, devilish faces, flaming manes, phallic guitars and bowing young women. Also on it is the name of the band: "WYLD STALLYNS."

BACK TO SHOT

As the school bus drives through suburban San Dimas, passing malls and. fast food joints, Bill and Ted, in the back, peruse the drawing.

play?

TED

And that is why we need triumphant T-shirts.

Beat. The two look at each other, grin --

-- and as they go into a reprise of AIR GUITAR, again attracting the attention of those around them, we:

Typical before-school activity. Students chat and walk to class as:

THE SCHOOL BUS

rolls into the lot and stops. The doors open and students get off. Among them are Bill and Ted, who bound out and start toward school.

ELSEWHERE IN THE PARKING LOT

is the "POPULAR GROUP" -- a half a dozen nice-looking students who sit on and around a Trans-Am. Bill and Ted approach on their way to class. Ted eyes two cute preppy girls.

No response. The guys pass Randolf, the group's "leader", who eyes them with disdain. ,

Bill and Ted leave the group and continue toward school.

AIR GUITAR.

Ted's locker is a total mess. There are no books; only junk food wrappers and Heavy Metal stickers. Ted stuffs his rucksack in with all the other junk.

A couple of lockers away, Bill uses the mirror which is attached to his locker door to study the progress of his scrawny little peach-fuzz moustache.

But Ted is not paying attention; rather, he has focused his gaze on:

BUFFY and JODIE, the two cheerleader types we just met, who now approach, chatting. They kneel down to their lockers, which are between and below Bill's and Ted's.

Ted swallows, then turns to the girls.

kidding")

Thank you. No.

No.

And the two pretty girls shut their lockers and walk away, giggling. ,

But Bill is silent, engrossed in a piece of paper he has found in his locker. He turns toward Ted.

The BELL RINGS. The guys look around. They are the only ones left in the hallway. As the guys amble away, Ted looks at his watch.

Bill looks at Ted's watch.

And as the guys turn the corner OUT OF FRAME, we:

Listed on the board are four categories of history: "ANCIENT" "MEDIEVAL" "“MODERN" "AMERICAN" Under each heading are listed several important FIGURES and

MOVEMENTS from within that time period. (For instance, under "Ancient" are listed Rome, Greece, Egypt, etc.)

We HEAR snickering. ANGLE ON CLASSROOM

The teacher, MR. RYAN, a sincere and serious man in his forties, is in front of the chalkboard, pointing to the name “NAPOLEON. BONAPARTE."

“~~ f - Z

More snickering from the class, especially Randolf, 0Ox,. Buffy and Jodie, who've been watching all this, entertained, from the front row.

TED

Who's been drawing the "Wyld Stallyns" logo onto his desktop, looks up and laughs at his buddy.

Ted gulps, and stands. Ryan points to the board.

The class laughs... Ryan sighs. The BELL RINGS. FRONT OF ROOM ~ AFTER CLASS Bill and Ted stand at Mr. Ryan's desk.

We have learned that the world has a great history, and will continue to have a great history in the next one hundred years, of which we hope to. be a part of, and which we sincerely hope you are as well.

Ryan looks at Ted, who adds --

Ryan rips

up the papers.

Bill and Ted stand silently.

RYAN

That means if you don't get an A+ on your final oral report tomorrow, I'll have no choice but to fail you. Now, you know your topics --

(he points to the

chalkboard)

‘== and I would suggest that

you cover at least those subjects if you want to pass. Understand?

Bill and Ted nod. Ryan looks back down at his papers. Then, as Bill and Ted turn to leave, Ryan looks up and adds:

better be something very special.

The guys gulp and we:

Bill and Ted, loaded up with books, walk across campus. Bill looks at the paper that Mr. Ryan gave them.

BILL

I dunno, Ted. But I do know we are in serious trouble. Listen to this:

(reads) "HOW WOULD AN IMPORTANT HISTORICAL FIGURE FROM EACH OF YOUR TIME PERIODS VIEW THE WORLD OF SAN DIMAS, 1987?"

(looks up from

paper) We are in danger of flunking most heinously tomorrow, Ted.

The guys look at each other and gulp. Then we HEAR: A GIRL'S VOICE (0.S.) (airy, sexy) Hi Bill. Need a lift? The guys look up. REVERSE ANGLE

A STATION WAGON has pulled into the lot in front of them. In the driver's seat is MISSY -- 19 and gorgeous. The guys approach.

: BILL Shut up, Ted.

Bill opens the car door.

Missy has a couple bags of groceries in front. Bill and Ted climb in the back.

A small, lower-middle class home in a not-so-great neighborhood.

Missy's station wagon stops behind a POLICE CAR which is parked in front of the house.

Ted closes the door and slips across the hall. He is about to head up the stairs when we hear: |

Ted stops in his tracks and looks over at -- HIS FATHER

Captain Chet Williams, crew-cutted, unsmiling, standing in the kitchen, arms crossed. —

Ted starts upstairs, but is quickly stopped by his father.

Ted attempts to speak, but Williams cuts him off.

Ted shakily exits, a couple of as-yet-unopened history books under his arm.

Ted gets inside and turns to Bill.

: " Cuz if we don't, my dad's sendin' me to military school. BILL: Where? TED Alaska.

The guys look at each other, horrified, as Missy steps ou the gas and the car pulls away.

A large, suburban home in a neighborhood quite a bit nicer than Ted's. :

. BILL (V.0.) Bad.

Bill and Ted stand with their books, watching Missy unload

the groceries. MR. SMITH, forty-five, holding a pipe and newspaper, stands behind his new wife, quite enamored with

her.

. MR. SMITH Good, good.

Mr. Smith pats Missy on the ass. Bill gulps.

As the guys head out of the kitchen:

Bill and Ted head upstairs.

(

Bill gives Ted a "Melvin", and as they continue up, OUT OF FRAME, we:

BILL'S BEDROOM ~- THAT NIGHT

A large, well-furnished room. Books are strewn everywhere.

The guys have been studying hard.

Dark ages.

AIR GUITAR. Then:

That's Captain Ahab, dude.

Presidents? BILL Yeah, good. What'd he say? TED (recalling) ‘Welcome to the Hall of Presidents.' ,

Beat. The guys look at each other and shake their heads, dejected.

There is a KNOCK on the door and Missy enters the room, carrying a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches.

Mr.

She bends her shirt.

Pause.

Smith

over, setting the plate down. Bill gapes down Ted hits him.

enters and stands behind Missy.

- And then we will never start

our band.

The guys sigh. Mr. Smith just stares at Missy.

Bill and Ted nod.

The guys look at the grilled cheese sandwiches; one side is completely blackened, the other side is raw. Mr. Smith notices the sandwiches, too.

He hands Bill some money.

HALLWAY

As Bill and Ted leave the room, the door closes behind them.

Now your dad's goin' for it in our own room!

And as they reach the bottom of the stairs and move OUT OF FRAME, we:

Junk food everywhere. Ted munches down a microwave burrito. Bill, flipping through his history book, eats a pint of mint chip ice crean. The guys look up as a WOMAN approaches the store. TED Excuse me, ma'am. Would you

buy us a beer?

\ oneal

But she has gone inside.-

Bill nods and the guys stand. They are about to begin walking when --

20 FEET ABOVE THEM

The air suddenly parts, brilliant white LIGHT and a gust of WIND pouring out. There is a pounding chord of heavy metal MUSIC and:

A TELEPHONE BOOTH

barrels through the opening and lands a few feet away from them, dust and debris settling as the sky closes back up.

Beat. Bill and Ted look at each other, astounded.

Then, the doors of the booth slide open and Rufus, dressed in the same ultra-cool outfit he was wearing in 2687, steps out.

Bill and Ted stare at Rufus for a moment. Finally:

Bill blinks and neds.

Ted gulps and nods.

- BILL How!?

There is a nother sudden burst of MUSIC and LIGHT, and the guys turn around to see:

ANOTHER PHONE BOOTH

dropping out of the sky and crashing onto the parking lot, about 20 feet away from them. (This new booth looks exactly like Rufus' booth, only is much worse for the wear and appears to be jam-packed with people.)

The guys look at each other.

Bill nods. Then the door to the new phone booth bursts open and:

ANOTHER BILL AND TED

-- Exact replicas of our two guys in every way -- explode out of the booth and dash excitedly toward Bill and Ted.

‘NEW BILL Dudes! You guys are gonna go back in time!

Bill and Ted are absolutely shocked.

Beat. Bill and Ted gape at each other, amazed. Then they

turn to New Bill and Ted, and all four crack up at the implications of this number, giving each other high fives and thumbs up. AIR GUITAR. Then:

New Bill and Ted are about to head back to the booth when they notice Rufus, who has been watching all this, utterly nonplussed, from a few feet away.

ed

New Bill and New Ted pile back into their phone booth. Rufus joins them, and they confer for a moment. Then Rufus backs away and New Ted sticks his head out the booth.

BILL AND TED

stare, dumbfounded, as: the antenna on the second phone booth glows, then BLUE LIGHT shoots down the side, the ground below opens up, and in a FLASH of MUSIC and LIGHT, the phone booth disappears into the ground.

Bill and Ted look at each other, then at Rufus.

While Rufus flips through the phone book, Ted taps Bill on the shoulder.

dude. TED Maybe we were lying. BILL Why would we lie to ourselves,

Ted?

Ted thinks a beat, then nods, convinced. He turns to Rufus.

Rufus lifts the receiver. The antenna rises out of the roof and begins to glow.

Rufus begins dialing. With each number, we HEAR corresponding HEAVY METAL GUITAR CHORD. Bill and Ted respond to this.

The booth begins to glow with bluish light.

RUFUS

Brace yourself, amigos. BILL/TED

Wh -- ?? RUFUS

Gentlemen ... we're history.

There is a sudden FLASH of BRILLIANT WHITE LIGHT, a ROAR of HEAVY METAL MUSIC, and...

THE "CIRCUITS OF TIME"

A complex system of wires and circuits criss-crossing the SCREEN. After a beat, we HEAR:

BILL/TED (V. 0. )

And the phone booth shoots INTO FRAME, diving into one of the opaque tube-like CIRCUITS.

\ ae

Bill and Ted, eyes wide and amazed, peer through the glass as the booth barrels down the circuit wire on a virtual roller-coaster ride through time.

° BILL How?! RUFUS (smiles).

Modern technology, William. The booth makes a sudden sharp drop OUT OF FRAME and we:

A large, grassy plateau, overlooking a broad valley.

We HEAR a pounding chord of HEAVY METAL MUSIC, the sky

opens up, there is a FLASH OF LIGHT, and -- THE PHONE BOOTH

drops from the opening in the sky and drops onto the plateau. Some junk food wrappers from the 7/11 flutter down behind it as the sky closes back up.

After a beat, Bill and Ted step out of the booth and look around, very excited.

Rufus calmly glances at the phone book.

Bill and Ted's mouths drop open.

Suddenly a CANNON BLAST is HEARD and the guys look down into --

THE VALLEY BELOW

where two opposing brigades of SOLDIERS have launched into battle.

armies below) Up here, dudes!

A BULLET whizzes past Bill's ear. Ted laughs, pointing at Bill's head.

Bill and Ted nod as --

THE GROUP OF SOLDIERS

looks their way.

At the head of the group, in command, is a small, arrogant

FRENCH GENERAL. The General lifts a pair of field glasses to his face and gazes across the plateau.

His Po “i PHONE BOOTH

As Rufus dials, Bill and Ted peer out in the General's direction and wave. We can read their lips as they say:

through the air and onto the ground right next to the now- giowing phone booth.

Suddenly the ground opens and both the booth and the General are sucked down into the hole! The ground closes up and we:

THE CIRCUITS OF TIME The phone booth bombs PAST CAMERA, an excited AIR GUITAR emanating from within. It is soon followed by the terrified General, hair shooting straight back, arms flailing wildly as he barrels down the tube behind the booth. As the General hurtles PAST and OUT OF FRAME, we:

There is a FLASH OF LIGHT and the Phone Booth suddenly drops onto the front lawn next to a large oak tree.

Bill, Ted, and Rufus pile out, none of them noticing that: ABOVE THEM ~- THE LITTLE FRENCH GENERAL

is dangling by his collar on a branch of the oak tree, looking like a cat held up by the scruff of its neck.

are occasionally aware of two FEET which helplessly dangle INTO FRAME.)

nh £9)

the report. Got it?

The guys nod.

‘Okay then, amigos...

(re: phone book) This'l1l tell you the number of whatever place you want to go.

Rufus points to the numbers on the phone.

Rufus stops, noticing that Bill and Ted are totally lost.

RUFUS

Trust me, gentlemen. it works.

(then) Now remember, amigos: No matter where you go, or what you do, that clock --

(re: Ted's watch) the clock in San Dimas -- is

always running. Got it?

Ted nods and looks at his watch. Bill looks at the phone book.

Rufus bows his head and takes a step back. RUFUS Gentlemen, it's time for me to leave you now.

Bill and Ted look at Rufus, surprised.

; BILL What do you mean, Rufus? TED

Yah. Aren't you coming with us? .

Rufus backs into the phone booth and shakes his head.

on your own.

Bill and Ted watch, wide-eyed, as Rufus closes the door and dials. We HEAR the same great heavy metal chords, and then, in a FLASH of LIGHT -~

-- the booth disappears.

A split second later, there is another FLASH and it reappears, empty.

Bill and Ted look at each other.

OO

And as Ted nods in agreement, we HEAR a branch breaking) above and -- .

THE FRENCH GENERAL

falls from the tree and lands on his feet right in front of them. He looks around, mutters something in French, then topples to the ground, unconscious.

A MOMENT LATER

Bill and Ted are standing over the unconscious General, Bill frantically flipping through his history book.

' Bill stops and looks at the book.

Bill snaps closed the history book and turns to his buddy.

And on Bill's excitement we:

Ted's little brother, DEACON, nine years oid and bored, listens as Ted explains the plan.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL the rest of Ted's bedroom. It's a total mess; covered with scrawled drawings, empty junk-food wrappers and tons of Heavy Metal paraphernalia.

Napoleon lays unconscious on Ted's bed.

, BILL

We have decided to collect other speakers from history for a oral report we are doing. While we are gone, you are not to let him out of your sight.

Ted hands Deacon some money.

Napoleon starts to come to. He looks around, baffled and a bit angry. Bill notices hin. ;

A quick AIR GUITAR, and the guys dash out of the room.

Bill and Ted, very excited, are bounding out the front door when Captain Williams suddenly steps INTO FRAME, blocking Ted's path.

Bill attempts to re-enter the house. .

And Ted gulps as Williams slams the door shut, leaving -- BILL - OUTSIDE Alone. Silent. Lost.

After a beat, he leans against the door and presses his ear up to it. His face goes ashen as he HEARS:

WILLIAMS Now you're not to leave this house again until tomorrow morning.

The PHONE RINGS. Williams crosses and picks it up.

Bill stands, receiver in hand, heavily disguising his

voice. BILL I'm new, dude -- sir. Listen. We found your keys. If you want ‘em, better come and get ‘en.

Williams hangs up, shakes his head.

Captain Williams turns and heads upstairs. As he does, the front door opens, and Bill sticks his head inside. Ted crosses to hin.

their gaze shifts outside, toward the phone booth.

The guys brighten and turn back to each other.

Ted reads from the history checklist, while Bill flips through the phone book.

AIR GUITAR. Then Bill dials, the GUITAR CHORDS resonating through the booth.

Then Bill gets a connection. We HEAR a drum beat, and the guys look at each other.

_ TED Bill, my friend?

Bill and Ted firmly shake hands, and in a FLASH of MUSIC and LIGHT, the booth disappears.

A beat later, Captain Williams exits the house, heading toward his car, and we:

CuT TO:

C) EXT. OLD WEST TOWN - DAY

A rough, tough, prospecting town, somewhere in the Colorado Territory. We HEAR HEAVY METAL GUITAR and shortly thereafter --

THE PHONE BOOTH

drops out of the sky and lands next to a row of OUTHOUSES. A few confused TOWNSPEOPLE stare as Bill and Ted step out of the booth and look around, very excited. A beat, then:

A real Old West-style barroom. A piano plays in the background. Bill and Ted enter and saunter up to the bar.

The bartender hands them drinks. Bill and Ted look around the saloon. .

An UGLY COWBOY glares at Bill and Ted.

Home of Raging Waters, excellent water slides.

Suddenly a GUNSHOT rings out and all attention shifts to: THE SWINGING DOORS

where a tough-looking YOUNG COWBOY enters and begins walking around the saloon, staring at everyone. He stops in front of Bill and Ted. Silence. Finally:

ANOTHER ANGLE

The Young Cowboy moves away from Bill and Ted, addresses everyone in the saloon.

@ “ THE SALOON

Goes back to normal as Billy the Kid steps up to the bar and warily eyes Bill and Ted.

. BILLY THE KID Who are you?

AIR GUITAR, which is interrupted by Billy the Kid, who throws Bill and Ted against the bar.

BILL/TED ~ (shrug) Sounds good, Mr. the Kid. Billy the Kid looks at them, and on his reaction we:

THE CARD GAME - MOMENTS LATER A bunch of grizzled, hard-boiled COWBOYS scowl AT CAMERA.

\ ; None of them have much money on the table and all of them — look pissed. ,

AC. .3S THE TABLE

Sit Bill, Ted and Billy the Kid. Bill and Ted have huge piles of money in front of them. So does Billy the Kid, who's dealing.

Ted gapes happily as he looks at his hand. Bill nudges hin.

Bill picks up his hand.

Billy the Kid glares at Bill. TED turns to the large TATTOOED COWBOY next to him.

- TED

(sotto) We're totally cheating you, dude.

(off the Cowboy's

look) But it's okay -- you'll get your money back as soon as we bag Billy the Kid.

THE COWBOYS

look at each other, fed up. They put their cards down and stand, glowering at Billy the Kid.

O

The ccwboys reach for their guns, but before they can --

~- Billy the Kid grabs the money, knocks the table over, and punches the Old West Ugly Dude. Suddenly --

THE SALOON

Clears out. The brawl is on.

BILL AND TED

Sit rooted to their chairs, gaping at the melee developing around them.

Bottles and bullets whiz past their heads. Tables and chairs are overturned and broken.

The guys look at each other and are about to do a thrilled AIR GUITAR when they are grabbed and pulled out OPPOSITE SIDES OF FRAME. .

The PIANO continues in the background as: TED |

lands on a table and looks around. Three very large, very ugly, very nasty-looking RUSTLERS glare at hin.

Silence. The rustlers look like they're about to tear Ted's heart out.

Ted swallows.

A beat. Then Ted pulls a small paper booklet from his pocket and opens it.

But before Ted can tear the tickets out, the rustlers grab him.

- TED I didn't think so.

Meanwhile -- BILL

Is behind the bar, jumping back and forth to avoid the whiskey bottles that are now being chucked at him.

A bottle whizzes past his ear and crashes against the mirror, shattering it. Bill gives the thumbs-up sign.

Another barrage of bottles drives Bill to -- THE FLOOR Where he crawls behind the bar. He sees a shard of the

broken mirror, picks it up, and checks the progress of his moustache.

BILL ; (pleased, winking at himself) Excellent 'stache, Smith.

Then Bill reacts as he sees -- IN THE MIRROR

The reflection of a BIG BEARDED COWBOY grinning evilly back at him.

ANOTHER ANGLE

The Bearded Cowboy reaches down with one hand, picks Bill up, and holds him over his head.

BILL'S POV

The three Rustlers are tossing Ted around like a beach ball. ,

The Big Bearded Cowboy suddeniy huris Bill through the air while --

THE ROUSTLERS

_ Grab Ted and hurl him through the air.

Several DANCE HALL GIRLS are watching the fight when --

-- BILL'S HEAD comes crashing through the wall of the saloon, followed shortly by TED'S HEAD, which crashes through right next to Bill's.

The two guys turn and see each other.

You totally got thrown through the wall, dude!

Ted looks around and notices the provocatively dressed girls in front of him. He turns on the charm:

But before he can finish, the guys are pulled back through the wall. The Dance Hall Girls look at each other and we are back in: ;

THE SALOON

Where we see that it was Billy the Kid who grabbed the guys. .

Billy the Kid turns and dashes across the room where he runs directly into:

THE CARD PLAYING COWBOYS

who quickly surround him and draw their guns.

©

(

42_

TED | Bill. We gotta save him.

A beat. Ted peeks around the wall and looks at the line-up of cowboys, then nudges Bill --

And he points at -- THE COWBOYS' UNDERWEAR

All of which is barely sticking out the tops of their pants.

BILL AND TED

Look at each other and smile. They creep out from behind the wall and stop just behind the Cowboys.

And the guys suddenly pull each of the Cowboys' long underwear up, giving them "Melvins. "

They follow this by "“pantsing" the Cowboys -- pulli ng their pants down around their knees.

As the confused Cowboys stagger around, trying to tug their long underwear down and their pants up, Bill and Ted knock the guns out of their hands, then "high-five" each other.

And as the Cowboys continue to struggle with their pants, Bill, Ted and Billy the Kid dash out of the saloon.

Billy the Kid looks at the guys as they rush away from the saloon and toward the phone booth.

The guys push through the line which is waiting to use the outhouse.

They reach the booth, squeezing past a Cowboy who exits the booth, Zipping up his fly. Bill and Ted look down.

Ted glances at the history checklist.

The HEAVY METAL CHORDS begin to pound and the booth begins to shake.

TED © Don't worry, Billy the Kid. We'll bring you back here as soon as you talk at our report.

BILL

Believe me, dude, Napoleon has

it tougher. He's back in San

Dimas with Ted's little

brother, Deacon. Ted looks at his watch. It reads 7:15 P.M. There is a FLASH and we:

A clock on the outside wall reads 7:15 P.M.

PAN ACROSS people eating. Children, parents and, at a corner table --

Deacon, his nine year old girlfriend, KERRY, her eight year old friend, DAPHNE...and Napoleon.

This is a double date. There is a sudden clamorous RINGING OF BELLS and Napoleon reacts, startled, as a WAITER rushes up with a huge "TROUGH". Napoleon stares as the immense dish of ice cream is set before him. As ANOTHER WAITER places a "gag bib” on him, we:

cut TO: THE TABLE - A LITTLE WHILE LATER The "kids" are all finishing off the Trough (Napoleon making a quick move to scoop the last bit of chocolate ice

cream away from Daphne) when there is another RINGING OF BELLS and the Waiter pins an "I Made a Pig of Myself at

Farrells" button onto Napoleon, next to his other medals.

Napoleon looks around, angered and confused.

he)

We notice that the clock on the wall behind him now reads 7:57 P.M., as we:

Ancient pillars. Greek statues. A phone booth. BILL AND TED

amble along a tree-lined path.

Excellent. CLOSE ON WATCH

Which now reads only 7:45 P.M. We notice that the second hand is beginning to Slow down as --

Where a group of five or six YOUNG MEN are seated around one OLDER MAN. The Older Man, short and rotund, appears to be “holding court".

One of the students uses the name "Socrates" to address the older man.

BILL, TED AND BILLY THE KID Crouch nearby.

O)

“A6

Bill finds the right passage in the book. Ted looks over his shoulder. ;

The guys look at each other.

They guys start off, then stop, noticing Billy the Kid, who ebviously wants to go with them.

Ted rummages through his rucksack and removes a Nerf football, which he tosses to the confused young cowboy.

IN THE AMPITHEATRE

Bill and Ted join the group. Everyone quiets down, all eyes on the oddly dressed newcomers. There is some puzzled murmuring, some laughing. Beat.

Socrates looks at Bill and Ted, quite curious. There is silence in the group. Another beat.

O

"All we are is dust in the wind", dude.

CLOSE ON SOCRATES

He scratches his head, intrigued. We HEAR Heavy Metal chords, there is a blinding FLASH OF LIGHT and we:

CuT To: A BOWLING BALL smashing into a set of bowling pins.

PAN DOWN NAMES: Deacon, Kerry, Daphne, Napoleon. We are in the tenth frame of the third game. The kids' scores average between 70 and 100. Napoleon's high is 43.

Suddenly Napoleon's score changes to 143 as -- THE LITTLE GENERAL

(now wearing green and red bowling shoes) cheats on his score, then rises to bowl.

Behind his back, Deacon, Kerry, and Daphne roll their eyes. They hate him. Deacon imitates his awkward style as Napoleon rolls a gutter ball and scowls, ranting arrogantly at a family which bowls next to hin.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Behind Napoleon, the kids whisper to each other and giggle, planning something.

Meanwhile, Napoleon's ball comes back and he bowls again, tossing another gutter. ball. This time he throws a little fit of poor sportsmanship: stomping his feet, shaking his fist in the air, and then, finally, pounding his fist on the air jet, and hurting his wrist in the process.

Trying to ease the pain, Napoleon places his hand inside his coat, thus striking the famous "pose" for the first time. ‘

. 48

Then, Napoleon turns around to find --

The kids are gone. Napoleon attempts to run after then, but is quickly blocked by --

Napoleon stares at him, uncomprehending.

After a beat, Napoleon is booted out the door. He stumbles down onto the pavement.

MANAGER

I don't wanna see you around

here anymore. Beat it. Napoleon, confused, stands, brushes himself off, curses at the Manager, and then stumbles away, having no idea where to go or what to do. . - Meanwhile -- DOWN THE STREET

The three kids bolt away.

KERRY

Your brother'll kill you! DEACON

I don't care. Napoleon's a

dick. They turn a corner, giggling, and we:

On the outskirts of this grey stone castle, a babbling brook winds its way through a verdant field. A beaten-down looking SERF (we'll call him JOHN) is bent over, picking

roots when --

The phone booth crashes to the ground right next to him.

ag

A beat later, Bill, Ted, Billy the Kid and Socrates step out. Socrates looks around, amazed. Billy the Kid flips. Nerf football. into the air.

Billy the Kid smiles proudly as Bill approaches John the Serf.

John the Serf looks up at Bill and smiles toothlessly. BILL (beat) Later.

Bill crosses to Ted. In the BACKGROUND, Billy the Kid and Socrates flip the Nerf football back and forth.

e BILL ) So, Ted, any ideas on who

YN

should we bag? Ted? But Ted is spellbound, speechless. REVERSE ANGLE - TED'S POV

Two beautiful young PRINCESSES are standing on the castle balcony, looking out. One of them, JOANNA, has made eye contact with --

Those must be the Princesses you told yourself about at the 7/11.

(then) Well ... You're the ladies' man, how're we gonna meet ‘em?

~ _ INT. CASTLE HALLWAY - LATER Dark. Shadowy. Suits of armor line the wall.

Several royal Henchman walk by, on patrol. They continue OUT OF FRAME. Beat. Then we HEAR:

6 Loud, echoing AIR GUITAR, as two of the suits of armor step \ out of the shadows and start to clank around.

Bill does a heavy, clanking "jig".

As Bill and Ted turn down the hallway, we SEE that their boxers are coming up out of their suits. As they clank clumsily away from us: :

(low, breathy) Use the Force, Bill. I'm Darth Ted.

Ted grabs a lance off the wall and swings it at Bill. It connects with a thud.

Then Bill pushes Ted, playfully, and Ted pushes back. They begin to roughhouse, knocking each other onto the floor, wrestling, laughing, and hitting each other.

Neither pays the slightest attention to the incredible amount of noise they're making.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Bill shoves Ted backwards, falling back himself, and knocking Ted rolling down a small flight of stairs.

We HEAR Ted hit the bottom of the stairs with a tremendous CRASH.

Then Bill crawls out of his suit of armor, stands, and looks down the stairs at --

TED'S SU.f OF ARMOR

which lays on the floor, motionless. TWO HENCHMEN stand over it, swords drawn.

The Henchmen plunge the swords into the suit, look around for the other "intruder," and run off in the opposite direction.

BILL

Horrified, slowly moves down the stairs and stands over Ted's suit of armor, fighting tears. He can barely speak.

He collapses to his knees in front of the suit of armor.

A long, heartbreaking moment as Bill takes the suit's hand and shakes it.

Then we HEAR footsteps, and Bill turns and sees yet ANOTHER HENCHMAN approaching, sword drawn.

You killed Ted, you Medieval dick-weed!

Possessed with a terrible vengeance, Bill charges the

Henchman and knocks him into the wall, punching and kicking

at hin.

BILL

Bill is pushed to the floor by the far more powerful Henchman. He is about to be run through when --

TED

Steps out from the shadows and belts the Henchman with his iance, felling him.

Bill looks up in astonishment.

Bill gets up and the guys rush to each other. They hug. Beat. They realize what they're doing and separate.

which OPENS, revealing JOANNA and ELIZABETH, the two beautiful Princesses we saw earlier.

Joanna's eyes widen.

REVERSE ANGLE - BILL AND TED

Ted nods, enraptured.

love. JOANNA (pleased) ‘From who? TED From ... (thinks)

. myself.

Ted is stumped.

Ted clears his throat, and improvises.

TED

“Oh; you beautiful babes from ‘England, a

For whom we have traveled through time.

Will you go to the prom with us in San Dimas?

We will have a most triumphant time."

THE PRINCESSES

are pleased. Then, suddenly, we HEAR:

The Princesses stiffen.

They grab Bill and Ted and hurriedly usher them -- INSIDE THEIR CHAMBER

C) ELIZABETH

We're to be married to two horrible old men today.

; _ TED No way!

The Princesses nod urgently.

But as the guys gallantly turn around, they find themselves face to face with: .

THE DUKE

who is flanked by two OLD FAT MEN and several GUARDS. He is furious.

, Ss = » . BILL

How's it goin', Duke-dude? [I am the Earl of Smith.

a AIR GUITAR. The Duke is outraged.

aes

The Princesses gasp, horrified, as the Duke's Henchmen grab Bill and Ted and drag them away.

violently crashing down onto two chopping blocks. The axes are raised and -~--

BILL'S AND TED'S HEADS

are lowered INTO FRAME, onto the blocks.

A WIDER SHOT

REVEALS that we are in the middle of a ROYAL COURTYARD.

The Duke, the Princesses, the two Old Fat Men, and numerous Henchmen are gathered to watch Bill and Ted get beheaded.

Several hours have passed -- it's now early evening. THE GUYS

look at each other.

TED

I believe our adventure through time has taken a most serious turn.

Bill nods as --

THE DUKE

stands and, with an imperious gesture, motions to --

THE BLACK~HOODED EXECUTIONERS who poise their huge axes over the guys' heads.

The crowd hushes. The Princesses fight tears. Then, suddenly -- ;

THE EXECUTIONERS

bring down their axes and --

BILL AND TED

wince, then open their eyes when they realize that --

THE EXECUTIONERS. |

have not beheaded them, but have, instead, severed their bonds! !

Then the Executioners remove their hoods, REVEALING that they are not, in fact, executioners -- but are rather BILLY THE KID and SOCRATES!

THE COURTYARD

erupts into chaos! The Princesses' eyes widen. The Duke, outraged, dispatches a bunch of Henchmen to kill --

Socrates winks at Bill. Billy the Kid taps his gun.

They all exchange a quick high-five. Then Bill notices the Henchmen closing in fast.

As they turn and rush away:

MOVING WITH BILL AND TED

as they near the wall of the castle, Henchmen in hot pursuit.

Ted. We got no choice. We'll have to come back for ‘em after the report.

They reach the end of the courtyard and begin to scale the stone wall.

Henchmen draw nearer as Billy the Kid gives Socrates a "boost" over the wall, then scrambles over with Bill. When Ted reaches the top, he stops and looks back at:

embeds itself in the wall just below Ted. More arrows fly past and Ted is driven over onto:

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL

where he joins the other guys as they run for their life toward the phone booth.

' Bill -- I just realized. We don't got a Medieval speaker for the report. What are we gonna do??

( \

Billy the Kid nods and points -- INSIDE THE BOOTH

Where JOHN THE SERF, flipping the Nerf Football up and down, grins toothlessly at them.

all pile into the phone booth with John the Serf. Needless to say, it's getting a bit crowded in here.

Bill grabs the phone book and begins rifling through it as a flaming arrow smacks against the booth. Ted peers through the glass at the quickly approaching Henchmen.

But, just as Bill gets a good look at the number -- A FLAMING ARROW |

sails into the booth and lodges directly into the phone book! The book's brittle pages burst into flame!

Bill tosses the burning book from the booth and Ted pulls the door shut as --

THE HENCHMEN

approach the booth. At the head of the group stalks. a ferocious seven foot MOUNTAIN OF FLESH, swinging an immense spiked ball and chain over his head.

IN THE BOOTH

Bill dials frantically.

TED

What are you dialing, dude?! BILL

San Dimas. Hold on.

Bill finishes dialing. An arrow careens off the antenna.. There is a CLICK. The guys look at each other expectantly, and we HEAR:

Suddenly the booth begins to rock as the Henchman begin pounding on the side of it. Billy the Kid and Socrates

struggle to hold the door shut. Bill, panicky, redials, as Ted notices that:.

OUTSIDE THE BOOTH

The Henchmen have given way to the seven-foot GIANT who is now snarling ferociously, fiercely swinging the ball and chain over his head.

. BILL I know, Ted!

There is another CLICK and the guys cross their fingers as:

The antenna pops out of the roof and begins to spark. We HEAR HEAVY METAL CHORDS, there is a FLASH of LIGHT, and, just as -- ‘

THE HUGE HENCHMAN

swings the spiked ball against the booth --

THE GROUND |

opens with a WHOOSH and --

THE BOOTH

drops into it causing --

THE HENCHMAN'S BALL

to MISS the booth but CONNECT with the sparking antenna, bending it backwards just as --

THE GROUND

closes back up. HOLD for a beat on the confused Henchmen, then:

THE CIRCUITS OF TIME

The phone booth shoots PAST CAMERA, MUSIC blaring from within, sparks shooting from the damaged antenna.

The careening booth dives down a chute and we:

The same vast, orangeish desert we saw in the opening.

Great heavy metal MUSIC emanates from each of the futuristic domes which dot the landscape.

. 62 We HEAR voices, and a moment later, the sky opens up and the phone booth crashes.down onto the ground. The skewed antenna recedes back into the roof as Bill and Ted pull themselves out of the booth and look around, baffled.

Bill nods. The guys notice the domes.

. BILL Excellent music.

Then, the guys' attention shifts to: ONE OF THE DOMES

where’a WOMAN, dressed all in white except for a black trench- coat, steps out and stares at Bill and Ted, stunned.

TED" Yah, it's us. (to Bill)

Who are we?

TED . : Whoa! Bill! We went way too far forward!

BILL

The phone booth musta got broke in England.

Then Bill nudges Ted and the guys notice that --

\, F aera

.. Woman has closed her eyes and is concentrating very hard. Soon other PEOPLE, also dressed in whites and blacks, start to come out of the domes, gathering around Bill and Ted and gazing at them reverently.

Bill and Ted shift nervously.

Behind them, Billy the Kid, John the Serf and Socrates look on, impressed.

Then, the crowd begins to do a slow, oddly ritualistic version of AIR GUITAR.

They stop and look at Bill and Ted, who shrug and do AIR GUITAR themselves.

The crowd is deeply moved by this. They begin beckoning to

‘Bill and Ted.

The guys are totally confused.

TED

Go ahead, dude.

TED) Make something up.

Bill swallows, raises his hand to quiet everyone. He can't think of anything to say. Finally --

Beat. The crowd waits expectantly for more. Bill looks at Ted.

The crowd is deeply pleased. Bill and Ted begin to herd the awaiting Historical Figures back into the phone booth.

Yah. We'd take one of you with us, but it's a history report, not a future report...

ANOTHER ANGLE

Everyone's in the booth. Bill and Ted look back at the crowd, which continues to stare at them reverently. Bill dials. BILL Later, dudes! We HEAR HEAVY METAL CHORDS.

The Three Important People watch, concerned, as outside the ground opens, and, in a BLUE FLASH, the booth disappears. They turn to Rufus.

The Important People look at each other, worried, and we:

cuT TO:

THE CIRCUITS OF TIME

The booth hurtles PAST CAMERA, to five faces pressed up against the glass.

The booth whizzes around a sharp curve in the circuiting and we:

CuT To:

JULIUS CAESAR is walking through his courtyard when he HEARS MUSIC and, a moment later, the sky opens up and the booth crashes right in front of him.

CO)

Nees

BILL AND TED

look through the glass at Caesar, who stares right back at them.

Bill, flipping through their history book, finds the page he was looking for.

TED

That's the Green Goddess?

BILL —_ It's Julius Caesar.

Bill holds the book up to the glass next to Caesar's face. Caesar's expression matches exactly with his rendering in the book. Bill smiles.

TED

{looks at watch) Tons. Why?

AIR GUITAR as the door to the booth slides open, Julius Caesar is pulled inside, and we:

THE CIRCUITS OF TIME

The booth hurtles PAST CAMERA, Caesar's terrified face pressed against the glass.

The booth crashes before a sign which read "S. FREUD." After a moment --

SIGMUND FREUD

opens the door and gazes out at the odd sight before hin. Ted sticks his head out of the booth.

Billy the Kid lassoes Freud and pulls him into the booth. FREUD (to himself) This must be a dream.

Bill dials the number and MUSIC CONTINUES over the following: -

FRANCE

Where JOAN OF ARC is in the middle of a battle when a

crowded phone booth drops right in front her. The door

opens and we:

A CROWDED CONCERT HALL

Where LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN is conducting his Ninth Symphony when the phone booth crashes into the orchestra pit. Ted sticks his head out, grabs Beethoven's hair, and we:

THE WHITE HOUSE

Where ABRAHAM LINCOLN is sitting in the oval office when Genghis Khan bursts through the door, grabs him, and carries him over to the awaiting phone booth. Khan lifts him above his head and jams him into the top corner of the jam-packed booth, and we:

THE CIRCUITS OF TIME

Darkness. Silence. Suddenly we HEAR VOICES and:

THE PHONE BOOTH

barrels PAST CAMERA lengthwise, like an incredibly fast canoe.

The Historical Figures sit inside the booth like twelve year olds on a roller coaster. Some are terrified and scream. Others (the more "experienced" time travelers) hold their arms upin the air and whoop and holler, thrilled.

MOVING WITH BILL AND TED

As they sit in the back of the speeding booth, trying to speak over the incredible din.

Ted nods, then notices the broken antenna, which now has sparks pouring off it. He taps Bill on the shoulder.

TED

Dude. I think I got a idea what's wrong.

Bill looks back and as the booth shoots through a 360 degree "loop" and dives OUT OF FRAME, we:

‘CUT TO:

WN

Me?

Foggy, misty, dank. A pterodactyl screeches by as we HEAR:

CAMERA PANS TO the Historical Figures, sitting on a felled tree at the edge of the marsh.

Ted, the "den mother” of the group, is pulling Hunts Pudding Cups out of his rucksack and handing them out.

He picks up a clipboard.

Pronouncing most of the following incorrectly:

Lincoln raises his hand, then goes back to his Pudding Cup.

They all raise their hands.

Billy the Kid nudges Beethoven, who looks up and raises his hand. Next to him, Sigmund Freud is opening a Pudding Cup. He is about to lick the lid when --

But Freud does anyhow, and winces.

C) "ANOTHER ANGLE

See

Genghis Khan is elbowing Abraham Lincoln, trying to make more room for himself.

But Genghis Khan and Lincoln keep horsing around. So Ted calls over toward --

BILL

who is sitting on top of the phone booth, fiddling with the broken antenna.

Bill, the disgruntled "father," sighs and looks over his shoulder -- ;

Ted is about to return to his own Pudding Cup when he looks up and notices that a huge

Ted looks at the Brontosaurus, shrugs, and hands the dinosaur his Pudding Cup.

TED

Here you go, dude. Enjoy it. Soon you'll be estinct.

The Dinosaur takes the Pudding Cup and retreats OUT OF FRAME.

Then Ted looks up, remembering something.

is trying to bend the broken antenna back into place when it breaks off in his hand. He looks at the broken antenna.

A MOMENT LATER - THE HISTORICAL FIGURES are all gathered around the booth, chewing bubble gun.

Each figure spits out his gum and hands it up to: BILL On top of the booth.

A MOMENT LATER

Bill, Ted and the Historical Figures stand, impressed, checking out the results of Bill's handiwork:

REVERSE ANGLE ~ ON TOP OF THE BOOTH

is a new, makeshift antenna, constructed out of empty Pudding Cup containers, and held together with bubble gum.

The disgruntled Figures have piled back into the boot) Bill dials, Ted peers hopefully up at the antenna.

We HEAR HEAVY METAL MUSIC. The Pudding Cup antenna

There is a blue FLASH, the ground opens with a WHOOSH and the phone booth disappears.

HOLD a beat, then PAN TO: THE BRONTOSAURUS

chewing an immense wad of bubble gum. A huge pink bubble is blown, and then pops on his face and we:

The booth shoots PAST CAMERA and we:

In a FLASH, the sky opens and the phone booth (accompanied by a gust of primeval fog) appears and drops into the parking lot.

. TED We made it! (looking at his

watch) And we still got plenty of time!

The guys high-five each other. The Historical Figures do the same.

Then, peering through the glass, Ted notices that -- DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM ~- ACROSS THE PARKING LOT

are ANOTHER BILL AND TED -- identical in every way -- standing in front of the store next to Rufus and another identical phone booth. (We'll call these guys FIRST BILL AND TED.)

BILL AND TED

are completely blown away!

They look

Bill nods.

BILL

Yah -- ‘cept, I dunno what's wrong, cause I dialed now, but I think we landed at last

night. TED Yah, I remember this ... only

fron over there.

at each other, utterly confused.

Then:

TED

Dude. BILL

What? TED

Let's go talk to ourselves! BILL

Excellent! TED

What'd we say, anyways? BILL

T don't remember -- let's find

out!

AIR GUITAR as they burst out of the phone booth and dash

over toward First Bill and Ted, stopping directly in front

of then.

BILL ; Dudes! You guys are gonna go back in time!

First Bill and Ted are shocked.

Beat. First Bill and Ted gape at each other, amazed. Then they turn to Bill and Ted. All four crack up at the implications of this number, giving each other high-fives and thumbs up. Then:

As Bill and Ted start off, they notice Rufus, who has been watching all this from the other booth.

ANOTHER ANGLE

As Bill and Ted turn and head back to the phone booth, they are joined by Rufus.

; BILL

Yah, except -- how come the number we dialed for San Dimas brought us here, instead of to tomorrow, Rufus?

The guys enter the booth.

As they are about to close the door:

OC) RUFUS

(shakes his head) You've got sixty minutes.

Bill looks over at Ted's watch and rolls his eyes.

Bill dials, and the booth begins to glow.

wey The ground WHOOSHES open and --

The phone booth disappears.

HOLD on First Bill and Ted, who stare, amazed, as Rufus rejoins them, then:

Cut TO: THE CIRCUITS OF TIME

where the booth sails by incredibly fast, looking about ready to fall apart.

‘ BILL (V.0.) Just a little further!

C3 THE BOOTH

runs a chute, dives down a steep incline, and then, as it tears around a sharp curve --

Vw

the door flies open, causing --

EVERYONE IN THE BOOTH . ; to be hurled out into the circuit!

cuT TO:

Missy is watering some flowers and listening to a walkman when we HEAR (but she doesn't):

Whoaa!! It's your house,

dude! I can totally see down her top! Etc.

And then, one by one --

THE HISTORICAL FIGURES

begin dropping from the sky and landing around the yard: -- Abraham Lincoln lands, head first, in the junipers.

~- Julius Caesar lands at the top of the pool slide and slides into the water.

-~ Genghis Khan lands perfectly in a deck chair and crosses his legs.

-- Joan of Arce lands and spins around in a hammock.

-- John the Serf lands on the diving board, does a perfect double-flip, and then lands on Caesar's shoulders in the pool.

-~ Socrates falls into the chimney, his robe ripping and staying at the top as he plummets into the fireplace.

-- Billy the Kid drops through a basketball hoop and lands in a garbage can.

-- Beethoven is caught on the TV antenna and dangles C there. And finally:

-- Sigmund Freud bounces off the telephone wires, hits the diving board, flips backwards onto an air mattress, bounces up onto the roof, tumbles down onto a teeter- totter, is flung onto a telephone pole, and finally drops into a wheelbarrow, which dumps him on the garden hose, cutting off Missy's water flow and causing:

drop INTO FRAME, landing on their feet right in front of her. Missy removes her walkman.

The phone booth lands with a crash right next to the guys. Missy looks at it.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Missy notices the bizarre assortment of Historical Figures, who are variously climbing out of the pool, pulling themselves out of the bushes, hoisting themselves out of the garbage, etc.

Uh, Mrs. Smith, we'd like you to meet some friends of ours.

As the Figures congregate before then:

Bill looks to Ted for help.

C) TED “ .». So-crates Johnson, and Bob Genghis Khan, and (shrugs; giving

up) Abraham Lincoin.

And she turns back to her watering. BILL Uh, Mom. Can you please give use a ride someplace?

Missy turns back to Bill. She sets down the hose and sighs. What she's about to do isn't easy for her.

MISSY

Not until you do your chores, BILL

What!? MISSY

Your father and I talked, and we decided we've been too lenient with you.

(turns away) Sorry, Bill. I can't take you anywhere until you do your

chores. Bill is flabbergasted. He looks at Ted's watch. BILL Dude -- how are we gonna get all those chores done in time?

) A VACUUM CLEANER

moving across the living room carpet. PAN UP TO REVEAL Sigmund Freud, who is pushing it around a couch.

Bill ENTERS FRAME and hands Freud an attachment to do corners. Freud takes it and Bill crosses to:

A WINDOW

Where Ludwig van Beethoven is spraying Windex onto the glass. Bill nods, giving him the "okay" sign. Beethoven smiles pleased. Meanwhile --

IN THE KITCHEN

Ted washes dishes and hands them to Joan of Arc, who dries them. Suddenly, Joan is struck by her own reflection ina plate.

Ted leaves Joan of Are and pokes his head into --

THE LAUNDRY ROOM

where Abraham Lincoln is folding laundry, currently struggling with a full-sized sheet. Ted grabs two of the sheet corners.

- TED Here you go, Abraham Lincoln.

After helping Lincoln, Ted crosses to -- GENGHIS KHAN

who is ironing Socrates' freshly cleaned toga. Socrates stands nearby in a pair of Bill's boxers.

iron's hot. Genghis Khan runs the iron over his hand.

We HEAR a sputtering sounds outside and Ted looks out a window toward --

THE BACK YARD

Where Julius Caesar is being dragged around the lawn.by the out-of-control lawnmower. He spins past the battered phone booth, then past:

JOHN THE SERF

Who is skimming leaves off the top of the pool with a net. As John bends down to check the chlorine level, we are back in:

THE LIVING ROOM

Where Sigmund Freud is now rolling around on his back, struggling to pull the squealing vaccuum cleaner off his beard. Bill, looking at the clock, ENTERS FRAME and clicks the vacuum cleaner off.

And Freud and Beethoven follow Bill into -<

THE KITCHEN

Where Joan of Arc, who has dried off the dishes, is now sipping coffee while she watches a soap opera on TV. She gets up and follows Bill, Freud, and Beethoven into:

THE LAUNDRY ROOM

Where Lincoln and Genghis Khan are helping Socrates into his newly-pressed toga. They all turn as --

TED, JULIUS CAESAR, AND JOHN THE SERF enter from outside, smiling proudly. EVERYBODY

(in unison) Done.

CuT TO:

THE DRIVEWAY - A MINUTE LATER The Historical Figures pile into Missy's station wagon.

Sigmund Freud and Abraham Lincoln argue over who gets to sit in the front seat. ;

The car takes off, and we:

An escalator deposits customers on the top level of the mall.

Bill and Ted rise INTO FRAME, followed by the Historical Figures, who look back at the escalator in amazement.

AT THE “INTERNATIONAL KITCHENS"

Bill and Ted have seated the bewildered Figures around a large table. Ted deposits Slurpees in front of them while Bill addresses the group.

BILL

Look around so you can talk about it at the report. Ted and I will be right back, as soon as we find Napoleon.

(to Ted) Let's go, dude. We don't got much time.

As Bill and Ted rush off, we HOLD for a. moment on the Historical Figures, then:

WIDER SHOT

The Figures remain clustered at their table, unsure as to what to do.

A few kids walk by. Some parents too. Muzak plays. The Figures look around the mall. They look at each other. They sip their Slurpees and we:

-- this one comprised of i6-year-olds in ill-fitting jackets, cardboard hats, wrap-around sheets, etc. -- prepare for their reports. ANOTHER ANGLE Randolf, Ox, Buffy and Jodie are dressed in their relatively impressive "Lincoln," “Socrates," “Marie Antoinette," and "Joan of Arc” costumes. They all look supremely confident. The gathered audience, which includes students, parents, and faculty, watches the first speaker, a faltering "Napoleon," on stage. MR. RYAN surveys the room. He looks over at --

A SIGN-IN SHEET

which lists, next to student's names, their assigned time- Slots. Next to Bill's and Ted's name is listed "2:45."

Then Ryan looks up at --

THE CLOCK

which reads 2:10.

Bill and Ted, stupefied, stand over Deacon, Kerry, and Daphne.

oO tw

‘ce i

Deacon shrugs. Kerry and Daphne giggle.

Europe's greatest leaders in

San Dimas?!

Ted looks at Bill, perplexed.

loud) Okay, wait. If we were one of the greatest generals in European history and we were stranded in San Dimas for one day, where would we go?

Beat. The guys look at each other.

AIR GUITAR and we:

A PAN DOWN from the main sign REVEALS a bunch of KIDS, ali park the ages of eight and ten, lined up outside the

A MOTHER counts heads.

She shrugs and turns to the Ticket Window.

And as the group moves through the turnstiles, we SEE that: NAPOLEON

Tired, dirty, and disoriented, has wandered into the group of children and is now being funnelled into the amusement park with them.

INSIDE THE PARK - MOMENTS. LATER

The children, in their bathing suits, are lined up to go down the slide. They scoot down, one by one, laughing and yelling. ‘Then --

Napoleon, in an ill-fitting bathing suit, steps up to the slide and looks down. He stands frozen with terror as the ATTENDANT steps up behind him. ATTENDANT

C'mon, buddy. You're holding

up the line. And he gives Napoleon a push, sending him flying down -- THE SLIDE on his belly, head first, eyes wide open. AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SLIDE

Napoleon lands with a splash and disappears under the water. We HOLD for a beat, until --

He resurfaces, an amazed and excited grin on his face. He shakes his head and looks around. He likes this.

And as he jumps out of the pool, running after the other kids, -~

CcuT TO: A QUICK SERIES OF SHOTS

in which Napoleon rides all the slides. He goes down on his back, on his butt, on his stomach.

Fe even "races" some of the other kics é@-™m.

We finish with a flurry of SHOTS of Napoleon landing in the

pools at the bottoms of the slides -- splash, splash, splash -- and, as he pops out of the water for the third time --

FOUR HANDS

reach INTO FRAME and pull him out.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL Bill and Ted, who dry off the reluctant Napoleon and lead him toward Missy and the awaiting station wagon.

The Figures' table is empty. HOLD for a BEAT on the empty cups and crumpled napkins.

Then we HEAR the opening notes of BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY, and we: .

CLOSE SHOT: BEETHOVEN'S HANDS

Which come down on the keyboard of an ultra-modern SYNTHESIZER.

A WIDER SHOT

REVEALS that we are in a MUSIC STORE. A cheesy SALESMAN approaches Beethoven.

The Salesman reaches over the keyboard and pushes a BUTTON labeled “ROCK AND ROLL."

The tempo changes. Beethoven's eyes widen.

And as HE CONTINUES TO PLAY, OVER THE FOLLOWING, WE:

THE FRONT OF A MOVIE THEATER

where ‘Billy the Kid and John the Serf are hitting on two 14- year-old girls. (John the Serf is now wearing an "TI ‘heart’ San Dimas" t-shirt.)

SIGMUND FREUD, eating a Hot Dog on a Stick, joins them.

The girls giggle some more.

GIRL #1 (to Freud) You geek.

And the girls get up and leave. Billy the Kid glares at Freud.

Billy the Kid and John the Serf take off after the girls, leaving -- ,

FREUD

Alone in front of the movie theater. He takes a bite from his Hot Dog, spilling mustard on his beard. As he turns to

walk away, we SEE that someone has taped a "KICK ME" sign onto the back of his pants.

Meanwhile --

ON THE MAiN FLOOR - AT A "CARICATURE BOOTH"

JOAN OF ARC is watching a cheesy CARICATURIST do a ridiculous "portrait" of JULIUS CAESAR. (The drawing depicts a large-nosed Caesar on a surfboard, with the name "Julius" broadly written across it.)

Joan of Arc's attention is diverted by a couple of BEEFY MEN, who walk past her. and enter a health club.

Joan of Are enters behind the two men, intrigued. She walks into --.

A WEIGHT ROOM

and observes sweaty, scantily-clad men and women strapped into Nautilus machines, riding "LifeCycles," and lifting barbelis. This scares her.

She turns, and exits onto --

AN AEROBICS FLOOR

Where a class is in mid-session. The INSTRUCTOR steps up behind the dumbfounded Joan.

And as the Instructor begins to pummel Joan's shoulders, we:

A ROW OF PUBLIC PHONES

Where SOCRATES is staring, transfixed, at a TEENAGED GIRL who is talking into one of the phones.

‘ ; SNe

Socrates, confused by this, picks up another phone and

~ begins imitating the girl.

A beat. The girl stares at Socrates and -- “~~ a FLASH goes off as: IN AN "OLD TIME PHOTO SHOP" ~ ABE LINCOLN Is photographed by a skittish, overweight HIGH SCHOOL KID. PHOTOGRAPHER Okay. Um, I need the Lincoln Hat and the Stupid Beard back.

; PHOTOGRAPHER Yeah, right. Ha ha ha. C'mon, mister.

Lincoln YELPS as the boy tugs at his beard. A tussle ensues, and Lincoln breaks free, running out into --

KHAN

Brushes it off with a casual GRUNT, then turns and enters:

A SPORTING GOODS STORE

Where he is drawn to a row of aluminum baseball bats. He C) picks one up, favorably comparing it to his wooden club. Then, he looks behind him, startled.

A REVERSE ANGLE

REVEALS a MANNEQUIN of a baseball player, his bat poise ' ready to swing.

mannequin's head off. Behind him, two SECURITY GUARDS rush inte the store, and, as --

BEETHOVEN

Rocks away on his Fifth Symphony, a crowd now gathering around him in the music store, we:

The station wagon screeches around a corner, en route back to the mall. .

Ted, taking notes, is questioning Napoleon, who sits between he and Bill. Napoleon looks very relaxed; his face is sunburned, his hair is slicked back, and he wears a thick white layer of "Nose-Kote".

Ted points to Napoleon's "I Made a Pig of Myself at Farrelis" button.

Napoleon shakes his head. Ted pantomimes bowling. TED

And you didn't like bowling, either?

Napoleon shakes his head even more vigorously. TED L But you did like Raging oe Waters?

Napoleon nods, smiles wroadly. Ted notes this and turns to Bill.

Shoots past the POLICE STATION.

Picks up the ringing telephone. CAPTAIN WILLIAMS This is Captain Williams. (beat) What??

Now playing the synthesizer like a man possessed. He cranks the volume up even louder and we:

cuT To: THE AEROBICS ROOM

where Joan of Arc, doing the fiercest aerobics routine imaginable, has replaced the aerobics instructor and is now

leading the class. IN AN EAR PIERCING KIOSK - LINCOLN AND FREUD

crouch behind the counter, hiding from two teenaged

SECURITY GUARDS. Freud looks over at Lincoln.

. LINCOLN Thank you.

Beat. Freud looks at Lincoln, expectantly.

Freud turns and Lincoln sees the "KICK ME" sign on his rear. Lincoln shrugs, then kicks him. Freud is about to protest when --

Lincoln spots a SECURITY GUARD approaching and the two men dash --

ACROSS THE MALL

where they attempt to escape the Security Guards by running up the down escalator, thus causing a massive pile-up.

Meanwhile, directly BEHIND THEM -- IN BIG & SPORTING GOODS - GENGHIS KHAN

wards off more Security Guards with bowling balis, boxing gloves, and tennis rackets. Finally, he jumps onto a trampoline and bounds out onto -~

The three Figures look at each other, do a ferocious AIR GUITAR, and run OUT OF FRAME just as, BEHIND THEM --

THE GLASS ELEVATOR

opens, revealing Socrates, who studies the chaotic

situation briefly, pushes the "up" button and RISES OUT OF FRAME.

IN THE MUSIC STORE - BEETHOVEN

pounds fiercely on the keyboard, every button and knob now cranked to the max. A Security Guard tries to pull him away from the synthesizer, and as the MUSIC THUNDERS toward its climax --

LINCOLN AND FREUD

are grabbed on the escalator, and --

JULIUS CAESAR

is apprehended in McDONALDLAND, and --

JOAN OF ARC

is ‘cornered in a racketball court, and --

BILLY THE KID, JOHN THE SERF, AND GENGHIS KHAN

rush onto an Ice Skating Rink, sliding lamely toward more SECURITY GUARDS and --

SOCRATES

rises INTO FRAME in the elevator, stepping off right into the grip of ANOTHER GUARD.

Then, as -~-. BEETHOVEN

Hits the final, resounding notes of his symphony and is yanked away --

~- we HEAR LOTS OF SIRENS APPROACHING and we:

The handcuffed Historical Figures are being led out of the mall and into awaiting police cars. Nearby --

CAPTAIN WILLIAMS

surveys the scene, walkie-talkie in hand, as the last Figure, Abraham Lincoln, is loaded in.

©

w w

THE LINE OF POLICE CARS

with the dumbfounded Historical Figures peering out the

windows takes off. A moment later -- THE STATION WAGON

screeches into the lot and pulls to a stop. Bill and Ted jump out, spotting the departing caravan of police cars.

. TED What are we gonna do now, dude? We only got a few minutes left!

cuT TO:

Ox, as "Socrates" is addressing the audience. He reads from a cheat sheet under his toga.

RYAN

watches. Behind him, the clock reads 2:32. Meanwhile -- IN THE POLICE STATION

A "FLASK" goes off as Socrates'"mug shot" is taken. Then

he is shoved into a nearby cell with John the Serf as Beethoven is brought in to be photographed.

Across the way is Joan of Arc, in a holding cell, with a bunch of prostitutes and bag. ladies.

A WIDER SHOT

REVEALS that we are in the back room of the hectic, buzzing Police Station. Historical Figures are being booked, photographed, printed, and locked up.

CAMERA BEGINS PULLING BACK through the confusion and soon we are ina =--

QUESTIONING ROOM

where we catch a snippet of conversation between a POLICEMAN (OFFICER JAMES) and Abraham Lincoln.

CONTINUE PULLING BACK, to -- ANOTHER DESK

where Sigmund Freud is being questioned by a PSYCHIATRIST.

FREUD

Why do you claim I'm not Sigmund Freud?

CONTINUE PULLING BACK, to -= A LINE-UP ROOM where Genghis Khan is lined up next to three other savage-

looking PUNKS. An Employee from the Big 5 points to Khan as we --

CONTINUE PULLING BACK, to the -- FRONT ROOM

where Captain Williams is with the last Historical Figure, Billy the Kid.

wo aa

Billy the Kid pulls chewing tobacco, bullets, and i9th century money out of his pockets.

Biliy pulls out a "WANTED" poster and proudly unrolls it. CAPTAIN WILLIAMS (unimpressed) Anything else? Billy the Kid shrugs and pulls out a Pudding Cup as we --

CONTINUE PULLING BACK, through the main door, and out into the station's --

PARKING LOT

where, after a moment, the station wagon whips in and screeches to a halt. Bill and Ted jump out.

Napoleon smiles coyly at Missy as Ted rushes inside -- THE STATION where he dashes over to his father. TED Dad -- ! Captain Williams looks at Ted, fed up.

. TED What?

NA

Captain Williams ushers Ted toward the door (above which a clock rezads 2:37), and forces him --

TED

We could steal ‘em, but he iost ‘em two days ago.

Beat. TED Well, why can't we? BILL Cause we don't got time. TED We could do it after the

report.

Bill's eyes light up.

...how about by that tree? The guys run to a nearby tree as Bill continues:

He looks behind the tree, sure enough, A SET OF KEYS is lying in the grass. Bill proudly picks it up.

TED

Whoa! Yah! So after the report, we can't forget to do it -- otherwise this won't happen.

{beat) But it. did happen! Hey! It was me who stole my dad's keys!

And the two of them sprint toward the Police Station door, stopping at the top of the stairs to look back at --

a, THE STATION WAGON

Where Napoleon is still smiling at Missy, casually attempting to put his arm around her by faking a yawn.

Missy nods and starts the car as the guys head into -- THE STATION

where they enter the front room, and crouch near the wall, out of view of Captain Williams.

Do you got a tape recorder at home?

Bill looks up at a clock. It reads "2:39."

it?

We begin to HEAR TED'S VOICE emanating from an adjacent room.

leaves his desk and moves toward his son's voice --

Where they stop in front of OFFICER JAMES, who looks up from his desk, recognizing Ted.

Officer James looks at the photo on his desk where, sure enough, between the family portrait and the glass frame is

a photograph of the four snarling, devilish members of Motley Crue.

And as Officer James tries to pry the unwanted photo out of the picture frame --

BILL AND TED

sneak past his desk.

Whoa -- watch it, dude.

Bill points to an officer -- OFFICER CHED. But Ted brushes it off.

16090

The guys walk past him and Ched goes back to his work.

As Bill and Ted pass, Officer Ched opens a desk drawer and, much to his delight, pulls out a PUDDING CUP and a SPOON.

He smiles as he cracks it open.

Meanwhile -- BILL AND TED Are now crawling toward the back roon.

Ted points to the side of a desk, where the "Wyld Stallyns" insignia has been drawn. Under it is a note.

Bill looks closely at the note, noticing an addendum.

~~ BILL

Whoa -- look. (reading)

"P.S. Duck."

ae 7

The guys du, just in time to see --

OFFICER LOGAN

walking past, eyes narrowed suspiciously. He continues on, out of the room. :

The guys breath a sigh of relief and check the "coast".

The guys hurry across the floor toward --

‘THE CELLS

Where the Historical Figures -- mixed in with bums, derelicts and hookers -- all perk up when they see --

BILL AND TED

grandly crossing toward them with the keys. Ted moves to the back window while Bill begins to open the cell doors.

Meanwhile -- IN THE FRONT ROOM

Captain Williams has finally spotted the jabbering tape recorder.

Captain Williams furiously turns the recorder off. All of a sudden it comes up again.

Captain Williams spots a second tape recorder, placed a couple of feet away.

As Captain Williams reaches for the recorder:

But Williams turns the machine off.

Ted's voice resumes yet again, from a third tape recorder:

Williams, livid, turns and storms back into the station. HOLD ON TAPE RECORDER Which continues running: BILL'S VOICE Way to go, Ted. We stalled hin.

A beat, then: TED'S VOICE (deep, airy) -+eand now, opening for Iron Maiden...

ATR GUITAR as the tape runs out.

AT THE CELLS

The Historical Figures are now crowded by the open window.

a to

Ted does Figures.

THE BACK

TED | (pounding his head) Remember the ladder. Remember the ladder. Remem --

AIR GUITAR as Bill turns to the Historical

As Billy the Kid starts to climb out the window, we:

CAPTAIN WILLIAMS

striding through the station toward:

where Bill is giving a "boost" to the Final Historical Figure -- Sigmund Freud -- when Ted turns around and

freezes,

seeing:

CuT TO:

Just then a BUCKET drops down onto Williams’ head with a ¢Clang. (On the front of the bucket are the words: "Wyld Stallyns Rules". )

Williams staggers around, trying to remove the bucket from his head, hollow curses ringing from within. ©

And as Ted places Captain Williams' keys on top of the bucket and turns toward the window, we:

cut To:

THE SCHOOL AUDITORIUM

Where Randolf, as "Abe Lincoln," is just finishing his speech. The clock behind him reads "2:44."

Randolf smiles as the audience applauds. MR. RYAN

scratches Bill and Ted's names off the sign-in sheet. He shakes his head and crosses to --

THE FRONT OF THE AUDITORIUM

where he gives a supportive nod to the gloating Randolf and steps up to the podium.

RYAN

Good report, Randolf. Good work, class.

(to the audience) Since we're short one report, we'll be finishing a little early today. I hope this was as valuable and informative for all of you as it was for us.

Behind Ryan, the clock nears 2:45.

Then Ryan gathers his papers and steps down from the podium and --

IN THE AUDITORIUM

The audience and students stand and are beginning to mill about when <--

-- there is the SOUND of a HUGE CRASH outside. Tires screeching, trash cans tumbling, voices yelling

The car skids to a halt in front of the school. Bill jumps out and flings open the doors.

As the excited Historical Figures begin to file out and mingle around, Bill darts toward the auditorium.

Ted joins the Historical Figures and begins organizing them, like a first grade teacher, and we:

Students, parents, and faculty members look around. Then --

JUST_AS THE CLOCK HITS 2:45 ---

All heads turn toward him as he collects himself and faces Mr. Ryan.

O

4 / ed

BILL | Mr. Ryan, we are ready with our report.

Snickers from -Randolf and Ox. People slowly start to sit, amused and curious.

Bill clears his throat and gestures grandly toward the door.

Beat .. OUTSIDE THE AUDITORIUM

Ted moves down the line of Historical Figures, giving them each a final look. He smooths down Genghis Khan's hair,

straightens Lincoln's coat, picks a bit of hot dog out of Freud's beard.

Freud whispers something to Ted.

TED ; (reassuring) Yes, Sigmund Freud, you look very nice.

INSIDE

Bill, still gesturing to the door, is beginning to feel a bit uneasy.

People begin to giggle. Ryan shakes his head. Randolf and Ox smirk.

BILL. » (yelling) : Ted! And finally -- THE DOORS

OPEN, and TED PROUDLY ENTERS.

Then, Ted motions to the door and: IN THE AUDITORIUM There is UTTER SILENCE as --

-- THE HISTORICAL FIGURES BEGIN TO FILE IN.

Every jaw in the class, including Mr. Ryan's, drops, as Abraham Lincoln, Sigmund Freud, Napoleon Bonaparte, and all the other Great Historical Figures, led by Bill and Ted,

parade down the aisle, = ee

Some of the students look down at their own makeshift costumes as: ,

THE TRUE HISTORICAL PERSONAGES

Grandly march past them, forming a line at the front of the auditorium.

ON STAGE - BILL AND TED

proudly step up to the podium and face the audience. Bill nods to Ted, who steps forward.

And on the packed audience's absolute astonishment, we slowly:

THE REPORT - A BRIEF MONTAGE The following should flow together and overlap fluidly:

-- A selection of Historical Figures addresses the class. Some use the chalkboard, others are soft spoken, yet others gesticulate wildly and thrash about. Those who can, speak English.

-- Joan of Arc speaks quietly in French. Bill stands beside her, coaxing her along.

-- Freud holds a Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick, pontificating grandly. Abe Lincoln reads from his Gettysburg Address envelope. Julius Caesar, surprisingly

————wervous, can't think of anything to say. Some of the

other Figures laugh at him.

-- In line, Genghis Khan tries to cut in front of Lincoln, but is rebuffed.

As it goes on, the report becomes more and more of a "discussion." The Figures agree, disagree, urge each other on, interject respectfully, etc. Most seem to be enjoying themselves. Some open Pudding Cups, Ding Dongs, etc.

And by now, the room is jammed with literally hundreds of people, all of whom watch in total, awed silence, as:

NAPOLEON

tanned and smiling, comes to the end of an animated account of his adventures at Raging Waters.

He finishes, and Ted leads him back into the line.

NOY

THE AUDIENCE

continues to watch in total, stunned silence. Mr. Ryan's jaw hangs open. Randolf and Ox stare, awed and humbled.

In total control of the rapt crowd. Ted steps out for the final introduction.

where, with a supportive nod from Bill and Ted, he turns toward the audience.

Bill and Ted beam as the Historical Figures all nod assent.

with what I feel is a fitting coda to all that you have just heard.

Lincoln looks to Bill and Ted, who grin proudly.

HOLD for a moment on the SILENT, AWESTRUCK AUDIENCE, and then:

Smee

The Prom is in full swing, the gym decked out with flowers, banners, and romantic lighting. Couples in formal dress dance to rock and roll MUSIC. :

It's about seven p.m. and the sunset sky is a beautiful deep blue.

After a beat, we HEAR MUSIC, the sky opens, and, along with some miscellaneous debris from history --

THE. PHONE BOOTH

appears and drops right in front of the gym. The booth, charred and blackened, appears to be on its last legs. Its makeshift Pudding Cup antenna looks about ready to fall off.

BILL AND TED

wearing tuxedos, their boxers coming out the backs, step out of the booth. They look tired and weary.

. TED. Yah, I think so. (beat) We forgot the ladder...

Bill looks at Ted, who is now staring at one of the several COUPLES passing by on their way into the gym.

don't have prom dates.

Ne. ene

But Ted's still down. Bill attempts to cheer him up. BILL

Hey, at least we can get going with the band now.

TED

Yah, I guess. Maybe we should

start trying to get t-shirts. * BILL

Ted, before we get t-shirts, we should probably try and line up Eddie Van Halen.

The guys are about to argue when they stop and look at each other. ,

A moment passes. Then --

The guys move away from the phone booth and are headed inside when --

The phone booth DISAPPEARS. The guys stop and look at each other.

Bill shakes his head. Then we HEAR MUSIC and the guys' eyes widen as, in a blur of LIGHT:

The phone booth RE-APPEARS, directly in front of them.

After a beat, the doors to the booth open and Rufus emerges. -

Bill and Ted are blown away.

Excellent work, amigos. Bill and Ted beam proudly. TED

So -~ are you here to go to the prom with us, Rufus?

— RUFUS I'm afraid I can't, gentlemen.

Rufus opens the door to the phone booth. RUFUS However ... I know a couple of pretty ladies who might -- Bill and Ted gape as --

THE PRINCESSES

step out of the booth, looking timelessly beautiful.

eo - ELIZABETH

a, Hello, Bill.

" The guys are elated.

\. Naan

AIR GUITAR as Rufus escorts each girl to her respective prom date. Then:

Bill and Ted are astounded.

it together) .. that desert place...with the domes...and the totally

excellent music.

on) They totally worshipped us there, Rufus.

worship you everywhere.

C)

- BILL/TED What?!

Rufus pulls a cassette tape out of his pocket and shows it to Bill and Ted.

rearing horses, holding phallic guitars, with Joanna and Elizabeth at their sides, holding lutes.

The tape is entitled "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. BILL AND TED look at each other, excited and amazed.

RUFUS

i (nods) In time, Wyld Stallyn music is going to bring humanity together and put an end to war, poverty, and famine --

L) forever.

oe

Bill and Ted stare at Rufus.

YoY

Long beat. Then:

AIR GUITAR. Then: RUFUS Gentlemen, it's time for me to depart. The guys looks at Rufus.

BILL

- Well...so long, Rufus. Thanks

for everything.

Beat.

Bill and Ted move to hug Rufus, look at each other, then hug him anyway.

Then he smiles, winks, and ina glorious burst of light, color and music ... Rufus is gon

We HOLD on the two happy, waving couples. Then Bill and Ted escort the Princesses toward the door.

While the giris head inside, Bill and Ted stop in the doorway, look at each other, and smile.

adventure.

Bill and Ted raise their right arms aloft and, as they CLASP THEIR HANDS TOGETHER in undying friendship, we --

FREEZE FRAME, and:

We HEAR tumultuous APPLAUSE, and, after a beat, a beautiful, glowing, gold medallion is placed around Rufus'

neck.

Wyld Stallyns MUSIC pounds as Rufus nods and smiles, and we PAN past the phone booth, and up to --

THE TWO PORTRAITS

It's clear now that these are Bill and Ted, wearing their black "Wyld Stallyns" T-shirts.

We also see the quotes under the portraits. "BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER" | and "PARTY ON, DUDES"

And as we HOLD ON the two portraits with the quotes underneath, we:

\ | FADE OUT.