Paula’s office is the same, but now she’s sitting with JOHN
BOSCO (white, 30s, gay).
PAULA
John Bosco is the head of the department. I’ll let him tell you more.
JOHN
Hi, Stagg.
71.71.
INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION
MONK Hello.
JOHN
Nice to finally meet you, my man. Listen, I love the book, and we are going to sell many, many copies. There’s already so much buzz because of the movie deal, and we just want to keep that momentum going.
ARTHUR
I spoke to Wiley yesterday. He says Michael B. Jordan is circling.
PAULA
We heard. We think he would be absolutely perfect. You know, this book is awards bait with a capital B.
JOHN
And we’re thinking that if Michael does sign on, we want to put him on the cover, in one of those, um...scarves, I guess you would call them, tied around his head.
MONK
A do-rag?
JOHN
Do-rag! That’s it. Do-rag and a tank top. With those muscles showing.
PAULA
Whoo. Somebody call the fire department.
JOHN
Yummy.
John and Paula laugh as Monk cringes. Arthur mimes shooting
himself, but then he recalls something and covers the phone.
ARTHUR
(whispering)
Shit, sorry, your dad. Sorry.
72.72.
JOHN
So listen, for a release date, we’re thinking of rushing it so that we can get it out in time for for Juneteenth.
PAULA
Yeah.
MONK
Juneteenth?
JOHN
We’re thinking of making a big holiday push. Black people will be celebrating, white people will be feeling -- let’s be honest -- a little conscience-stricken. We think it’s gonna be a huge moment for your book.
Monk closes his eyes and drops his head into his hands.
JOHN (CONT’D)
So Stagg, are you so, so happy?
ARTHUR
We think it’s great, John. Really. Amazing.
Monk lifts his head, revealing a smirk on his face. Arthur
motions for Monk to say something.
MONK
Yeah, it’s, uh -- it’s great.
(then)
And, you know, I’ve got an idea I want to share with you two.
PAULA JOHN
Oh, well, I mean, we always Yeah! Cool. love to hear great ideas...
MONK
I want to change the title.
JOHN
(uncertain)
OK. Um, well, just to be clear, we love “My Pafology.”
PAULA
Love it.
73.73.
JOHN
It’s got that Irvine Welsh, proletariat vernacular thang.
Arthur looks confusedly to Monk. He wasn’t expecting him to
call an audible like this.
MONK
That’s why I think you’ll like the new title even more.
PAULA
Well, OK. You know what? We are always happy to hear new ideas. What did you have in mind?
MONK
“Fuck.”
There’s a lengthy pause.
PAULA
Uh, I’m sorry. Pardon me?
MONK
“Fuck.” I want to call it “Fuck.”
Arthur laughs a fake, panicked laugh and rushes to mute the
phone as Paula and John chatter.
ARTHUR
(angry whispering)
What are you doing?
MONK
(angry whispering)
Screw these idiots.
ARTHUR
(angry whispering)
Stop it.
MONK
(angry whispering)
No.
Monk tries to take the phone from Arthur.
PAULA
So Stagg, what about, uh, like “Damn” -- “Damn” -- or “Hell”?
Arthur shakes his head and unmutes the phone. And now we
return to intercutting with Paula and John in their office.
74.74.
MONK
Nah. “Fuck.”
JOHN
OK. That’s cool. But maybe we could maybe do that with a P-H instead? Because that would be more palatable to our sellers.
MONK
I don’t care about all that. And if you don’t change the title, the deal is off.
JOHN
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
PAULA
Yeah, no, there’s no need to be hasty. You know what? Why don’t we-- just give us a second, and, um, a moment, and we will get right back to you. OK?
Once muted, Monk and Arthur get into it.
ARTHUR
What are you doing?
MONK
What are you doing? This is ridiculous.
ARTHUR
It’s too much money we’re talking about.
MONK
I don’t care. I’m shutting it down.
ARTHUR
Shutting wha--
MONK
(interrupting)
Shutting it down.
Paula returns with a decision.
PAULA
Are you there?
ARTHUR
We’re here.
75.75.
PAULA
Let’s do it!
ARTHUR MONK
What? What?
PAULA
Yeah, we discussed it, and we think it is very in your face in the best way possible.
JOHN
It’s very, uh --
MONK
Black?
JOHN
That’s it! Yes, that’s it. I’m happy you said it and not me.
Paula and John laugh as Arthur, still in shock, looks to
Monk, who just shakes his head in disgust.
PAULA
Ah, fuck!
JOHN
It’s fucking great, Stagg.
PAULA
You know, it’s so brave, actually.