OSBOURNE

Sample dialogue

• Hi. Sorry to call out of the blue but I have a, well, a publishing question and I thought you might be the person to ask, I have this manuscript, something to do with my professional experiences, not to go into too much detail but I think it’s pretty explosive stuff and I think that it could merit a fairly wide readership handled properly and it isn’t quite finished yet but there’s a situation where I’m worried about it leaking now and maybe excerpts being published or on the internet, whatever, without my permission, and a lot of the impact being, um, blunted, so I’m actually anxious to bring it to market sooner than I’d planned——I mean, like now, in fact——so I was thinking, I know you, and you seem to do well, so I was wondering if you were happy with your publisher. The people you use.

  scene 122 — INT. OSBOURNE’S BOAT - DAY

• Palmer. What’s up.

  scene 3 — INT. PALMER’S OFFICE - DAY

• Sounds like something you should be telling your psychiatrist.

  scene 5 — INT. COX LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

• All right, you two clowns listen to me very very carefully. I don’t know who you are, but I warn you most emphatically——

  scene 55 — INT. OSBOURNE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

• ... Yes... No... Yes, I want to know why the check for my slip fee was returned for insufficient funds... Slip fee, for docking my boat, the check was returned... No, m’dam, it’s not zero, I have about forty thousand dollars in that account... When? ... When?... But she can’t do that——no, yes, technically it may be a joint account but she doesn’t use it, it’s not her money... No! No! What access, it’s not possible! Without my permission? What about the, my, the, our savings account? My savings account?... I don’t know the fucking number! You think I memorize the fucking numbers on my fucking bank accounts! Moron!... Hello?

  scene 128 — INT. OSBOURNE’S BOAT - DAY

Bookends

Often appears with

• KATIE5 scenes
• CHAD3 scenes
• MAN3 scenes
• HARRY2 scenes
• LINDA2 scenes
• SANDY2 scenes