CAPTAIN DICKSON

Sample dialogue

• A piñata. Really. Amazing. That’s a great frickin’ lead. I want to suck both your dingalings now that you got such amazing motherscratchin’ evidence. I suppose you’re wondering about my language. Well, I made a promise to my daughter. No cursing. Can you flippin’ handle that baloney? You got no more than a few days before this goes outbreak viral-style like a YouTube of a kitten sneezing, and if you can’t, my person of color, I will poo in your Visine. You’ll be putting poo poo drops in your eye every time you get hay fever. Now find the supplier or I will be...

  scene 61, source scene 122 — INT. JUMP STREET CHAPEL, CAPTAIN’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

• Who’s the supplier?

  scene 32, source scene 59 — INT. JUMP STREET CHAPEL, BULLPEN - EVENING

• I don’t need to say much on this. Shit’s illegal as shit. I will fuck you up. You understand me?

  scene 8, source scene 21 — INT. JUMP STREET CHAPEL - LATER

• Here are your new identities. Brad and Doug McQuaid. Know them cold.

  scene 9, source scene 24 — INT. JUMP STREET, DICKSON’S OFFICE - LATER

• Good job, Schmidt! Here’s the buy money. You find out who’s cooking this shit, or I’m taking this cash out your asshole like it was a pudgy, white ATM.

  scene 51, source scene 96 — INT. JUMP STREET CHAPEL - NIGHT

Bookends

Often appears with

• SCHMIDT8 scenes
• JENKO7 scenes
• FUGAZY3 scenes
• JR JR3 scenes
• BURNS2 scenes
• ANNIE1 scene